


The Lion and The Wolf

by DracoAngel



Series: The Unceasing One [1]
Category: Cullen Rutherford - Fandom, Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Dirty Talk, Drama, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Intrigue, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2018-03-19 05:42:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 138
Words: 335,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3598545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DracoAngel/pseuds/DracoAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was thought to be dead by all those closest to her. Had Fate not led an old friend in the right direction, no doubt she still would be. But now -- three years after her supposed death, the sky was torn asunder and, just like always, Rayne can't seem to remain on the sidelines as the world falls into Chaos. Fate, again, intervenes and has her join the Inquisition where she will be reunited with old allies, friends and lovers. Prime among them: Cullen Rutherford. The knight from her youth was now Commander of the Inquisition. How will their reunion effect them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Brief Summary and Notes

**Author's Note:**

> Cullen and Rayne's Ship Name: Raylen
> 
> This is a mix of romance, drama and sex. Strong language/situations and sex labeled for Mature Adult audiences. Seen through the eyes of Rayne Amell, Alec Trevelyan and Cullen Rutherford - All recognizable characters belong to Bioware of the Dragon Age universe. There are far too many for me to list them all off.

If you have not played Dragon Age:Inquisition and don't want to be spoiled, I would suggest moving on and not reading these.

All recognizable characters belong to Bioware of the Dragon Age universe. There are far too many of them to list them all.

Rayne Amell, Aiden Amell, Davia Rutherford, Vector Hawke and Alec Trevelyan are characters of my creation.

This story centers around Rayne Amell, Warden Commander and Hero of the Fifth Blight.

**Chapter titles will tell you whose perspective that chapter is from.**

**This story contains strong langauge/situations and sex.**

**This does break some lore, if that is not your thing avoid this.**

Since I haven't uploaded any chapters concerning her time in Kirkwall (DA2) and only a few chapters of her Origins story, here is a short recap:

* * *

 

After the Blight ended and Rayne had gone on to Amaranthine to not only find out why the darkspawn were not returning to the Deep Roads, but also to get away from her lover: the newly appointed King Alistair after he announced her becoming his queen. Knowing no one would agree to a mage queen and it would no doubt lead to another war; she had slipped out in the middle of the night and journeyed to Amaranthine. Little did Alistair know he would not see her again for six years. And little did Rayne know she had been pregnant with his child through the Dark Ritual that she had performed in place of Morrigan.

While in Amaranthine she had a brief sexual relationship with Anders – even though as the relationship continued he began to have real feelings for her. When it became apparent that she was pregnant, Anders had immediately thought the child was his. After dealing with The Mother and letting The Architect go, Rayne had started to think that maybe, just maybe, she could allow herself to leave Alistair truly behind her and let herself feel something more for Anders. That was until he betrayed her and merged himself with Justice. Even if his intent was noble, he was changed and she felt betrayed by this. So close to giving birth and fearing what Ander/Justice might do to her, Nathaniel had spirited her away to give birth to a baby boy, Aiden.

After having Aiden, Rayne had traveled around Thedas. Seeking something, no one knew what. And to also keep Alistair from finding her as he still had people looking for her to bring her back to him.

After three years of travel she had decided to make Kirkwall her home after meeting her cousin, Vector Hawke. No one would think to look for her there. Because, really? Who would think a mage would willingly live in Kirkwall if they had other options?

For the next three years she had lived in Kirkwall, aiding Vector however she could and reunited with an old friend. Cullen. During her time as apprentice at the Circle in Ferelden she and Cullen had been in a secret relationship. Or at least as much of a relationship that a Templar and mage could be in living in the heart of a mage tower. By the time Rayne had made Kirkwall her home Cullen had felt deep remorse for the things he had said to her during the Blight and wanted nothing more than her forgiveness; which she willingly gave and they rekindled their friendship, but nothing more since Rayne had begun a relationship with Fenris.

By the time the tension between the mages and Templars began to come to a head, Fenris had ended things with Rayne. He had wanted more from her than she could give. Her heart still too attached to Alistair and the hurt Anders had inflicted. And then she literally had run into Alistair as he was visiting Kirkwall for a diplomatic meeting. He had finally got to meet Aiden, who was now 6 and already wicked with a blade.

Through his declaration of his love for Rayne that he still carried, Alistair had been able to convince her come back with him to Ferelden and be with him. He wanted the woman he loved out of the growing conflict in Kirkwall and safe with him and his son. But it had been too late.

In a last stitch effort, Rayne had gone to Grand Cleric Elthina in the hopes that she could convince the Chantry to intervene with the increasingly rising tempers of Knight-Commander Meredith and First Enchanter Orsino.

She had been inside the Chantry when Anders had set off his magical attack. And had been proclaimed dead.

Until now…


	2. Prologue (Zevran)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> art by [noctuaabla](http://noctuaalba.tumblr.com/)

He prodded the fire with a stick, sending sparks drifting into the air.

Antiva wasn't a cold place, but during the winter even here the night tended to get chilly. And he wanted to keep the cave warm for her.

Zevran looked over the orange flames to the form bundled in blankets on the other side. Black hair streaming out of the folds was the only sign that it was a person. But he didn't need to see her to know every feature. He had seen them every single day for nearly two years and no matter how dark things ever got, her face always brightened everything.

Worry knotted his stomach; she had not awakened since the brothel. Whatever that bastard had done…

He gritted his teeth. He should have just killed the slaver.

His eyes fell back down on the woman and his face relaxed. No, she was the priority. Revenge will come later.

Zevran stood and went to the bundle and knelt.

Her face was nestled in the folds, but he saw the rise and fall of her chest that said she was at least still alive. He gently moved the blanket from her arm. Peach colored skin came into view. Skin that had once been pale unable to gain color.

He moved the blanket down the arm until a small scar came into view. He rubbed his thumb over the blemish. One of only a few on her otherwise immaculate body. And he had been the cause of it.

A small smile came to his lips as he thought of its origin. The day they met. He still chuckled whenever he thought about it. How did one of his contracts become his closest friend and a lover on more than one occasion?

Small groans of pain came from the folds of the blanket. Her body began to move.

Zevran's heart lifted. "Welcome back from the dead, my dear."

A face that was as familiar to him as his own peaked out from the blanket, blue eyes that were different yet the same from what he knew nearly eight years ago peered out at him. "Zevran?"


	3. Trevelyan

Alec shook his head in dismay at all the refugees at the crossroads as Mother Giselle walked away to make arrangements for her departure to Haven.

"We should seek out this Corporal Vale." Cassandra said behind him. "He is leading the relief effort here."

"Right." Alec said. "But first, let's go see to that rift outside the village."

"Of course." The former Seeker said and began moving in that direction.

Alec smirked, if nothing else, Cassandra was driven. He would call her pretty, but not to her face. He had a feeling it was something she would not appreciate. Not that the compliment would go anywhere beyond simply complementary. His tastes lie… elsewhere.

She had short chopped hair with a single strand of braid going around her head and dark brown eyes. Her accent as well as her olive colored skin marked her as Orlesian, Nevarran to be exact.

She was once a Seeker of Truth for the Chantry, until the Seekers separated after their previous Lord Seeker had thought that Divine Justinia had secretly been allying with the mages right before the rebellion. Cassandra did not agree with Lord Seeker Lambert or his predecessor, and so left and became the Right Hand of the Divine once the Mage-Templar War began in earnest.

He followed after her with Varric and Solas in tow.

"Why do I feel like we're being watched?" Varric said in hushed tones.

Alec shrugged. "I wouldn't think too much of it. There are probably a lot of curious eyes on us right now. And with Solas and me wielding staves..."

Varric grunted. "Fair enough I guess."

Varric was a surface dwarf, from Kirkwall in the Free Marches, born and raised. He had medium length blonde hair that he kept tied back away from his face and brown eyes. Two golden hoops pierced his left ear and one in the right. Besides being a surface dwarf, what separated him from others was his lack of beard. He kept himself pretty clean shaven; he said he used to have a friend that joked that his beard had just simply jumped to his chest. Alec agreed when he noticed his open vest showing off his chest.

Alec frowned to himself. He had felt the same thing and the feeling persisted after leaving the village. Something definitely wasn't right.

About a mile outside the village and nearly two miles away from the rift they had spotted earlier but were unable to get to at the time due to the Templars and mages, the feeling of unease increased.

Alec stopped and scanned the area. "Something's not right." He said softly.

Cassandra sighed and stopped in her march. She turned and frowned. "What is it?"

"Don't you feel it, Seeker?" Varric said as he scanned the area and slowly brought his crossbow, Bianca into his hands.

"We're being surrounded." Solas said. "I sense at least a dozen people hiding in the hills closest to us."

Solas was an elven apostate mage – a mage that lived outside of the Circle. According to Solas he had once lived in a village to the north, but when he was found with the gift of magic he took to traveling to see as much of Thedas as possible, to aid his ability to walk the Fade – the realm of dreamers and spirits. He was unique, he studied spirits, demons and the Fade and took more solace there than in the real world. He was bald with dark blue eyes that seemed ancient compared to his young appearance.

When the Breach in the sky had come into being, he had willingly given himself over to Cassandra and Leliana to aid in closing this threat to the world.

Alec heard the slither of metal on leather as Cassandra drew her sword from its sheath at her hip.

Two heart beats passed and then forms burst from the hills. They knew their cover was blown and knew they had no choice but to attack.

Men in black leather leapt over rocks dashing to their prey. Others stayed on the high ground and took aim with longbows.

"Solas! Varric! Get the archers!" Alec called, already casting one of his own spells.

Cassandra gave a war cry and charged the oncoming assassins.

The battle was bloody. But quick. Their small group was learning fast how to work together as a fighting unit.

Alec spun around on his last assailant, bringing the end of his staff up with the blade, slicing into the man's throat. He collapsed to the ground with a gurgle. He couldn't help the chuckle and turned.

Varric stood a ways off cleaning off some blood on Bianca, so he did not see a brutish man charging him from behind.

Alec's eyes widened. "Varric! Behind you!"

The dwarf spun around trying to get Bianca in position. Alec knew he wouldn't be able to in time.

Alec jumped as an arrow erupted from the man's chest. It was far too long to belong to Bianca's small bolts.

The assailant grunted and stopped to study the arrow and then ripped it from his chest. With a chuckle he started back at a confused and shocked Varric.

Alec was about to run to the dwarves' aid when the man stopped again a few steps from Varric.

Varric tilted his head in confusion and Alec slowly walked to his side, Solas and Cassandra hesitantly followed suit.

"What the—" Varric murmured.

Alec studied the assailant. His face was frozen in a look of horror. He traded looks with Varric, the dwarf shrugged in equal confusion. His eyes were drawn back as a black smoke appeared behind the man.

A sigh of breath escaped the man's frozen mouth and his eyes rolled back into his skull.

Varric took an involuntary step backwards. As he did the assailant's size began to  _shrink._

Any fat or girth around his face began to reduce and become sunken in, as if… as if life was being drained from him.

Alec turned to Solas, thinking perhaps the other mage was the cause. The elf shook his head and turned back to the spectacle before them. They watched in equal amounts of horror and fascination as the life was drained from the assailant in a matter of seconds.

Once there was nothing left of him, his body collapsed to the ground and in his place was a human woman.

Her hand glowed a sickly green which was usually the indicator of a life draining spell that was beginning to fade back into her body. She had short pixie cut black hair, long enough in the front to hang down into her eyes. Eyes that were the most vibrant blue he'd ever seen. Alec had never seen anything like it. Under her left eye was the barest hint of a small scar. And upon her right cheek was a tattoo of lines that started around her eye and traveled down her cheek, they almost looked like white vines. And they glowed; a glow that was slowly receding as her spell ended. She was maybe half an inch shorter than he was with lightly tanned skin.

She brought her gaze up from the now dead assailant up to the group in front of her. Her small supple mouth quirked into a smirk under a small nose that had the barest hints of the tip upturned. She wore dark brown form fitting leather pants with black boots that went to her thighs. A holster went around her left thigh that held small throwing knives. Her chest was covered with a leather corset the same color as her pants with a deep cut that allowed for ample view of cleavage. Her hands covered by fingerless gloves. Alec was unsure if the gloves went any higher since her arms were covered by a long black duster coat with the collar flared up around her neck. In her right hand she held a staff with a vibrant purple gem the size of his fist on the top that was wrapped in white bark, at the bottom was a blade that had seen obvious use but still shimmered in the sunlight.

Alec had to admit to himself, she was a ravishing beauty. But she was also very deadly. The question was: was she a threat to them?

"Shave my chest and call me an elf…" Varric said.

Alec turned his attention to the dwarf, whose eyes were as wide as saucer plates and mouth was gaping open.

The woman tilted her head. "Don't go doing that." She playfully said with a definite Ferelden accent. "Men and women alike would drown the world in tears if you lost the chest hair."

Varric blinked rapidly and a smile spread across his face. "Angel-face, it  _is_  you!"

The woman gave him a gentle, warm smile. "Hello Varric."

Alec brought his attention fully back to the woman.

"If you're here, that means…" Varric said and grunted.

Alec spun around to find a small child had tackled the dwarf to the ground.

"Uncle Varric!" The boy yelled in pleasure.

"Squirt! I thought I recognized that arrow."

The boy was maybe nine or ten years old with golden hair the color of hay that was cut in a short spiked look. A quiver of arrows and an unstrung bow rested on his back. He was in dark brown weathered leathers, similar to what the woman wore.

Varric lifted the boy off him and stood. The dwarf had called him 'Squirt', but the child had at least a good inch on the dwarf. A small dagger was strapped to the boy's hip. His eyes were identical in blue color to the woman's.

Alec shook his head and turned around. The woman watched him intently holding onto her staff with both hands and leaning against it. A small playful smile teased her lips. But Alec was no fool. Her body was taunt and could easily lunge if need be.

"Friends of yours, Varric?" Alec finally asked.

"Oh right." Varric said and came forward with the boy at his side. "Allow me to introduce, Rayne Amell."

Rayne bowed her head to him.

"The Hero of Ferelden." Varric finished.

Alec's eyes widened.

Rayne frowned. "You know how I hate that title." She growled.

Varric shrugged. "It's how the world knows you."

She sighed. "I wish they didn't." She murmured. She nodded to the boy. "Since Varric lacks manners, my son, Aiden."

The boy smiled and nodded at him.

 **He definitely takes after his father for most his appearance** _._  Alec thought to himself.

"The Hero of Ferelden?" Cassandra said in bewilderment and came forward.

Rayne shrugged. "That's what they say at least."

Confusion was replaced with anger as she swung around on Varric who took a step backwards. Alec could feel the heat radiating off of the Seeker.

"You told me she was dead!" She yelled. "You lying little…" she paused. "Bastard."

Alec had a feeling that  _wasn't_  the word Cassandra was going to use originally.

"And who are  _you_  exactly?" Rayne asked dryly.

Varric gave the Seeker a shaky smile and turned to Rayne. "This is Cassandra Pentaghast."

Cassandra turned to Rayne. "I am… was, Seeker of the Chantry and Right Hand of the Divine."

Rayne's face remained neutral as if she was unimpressed. She eyes went back to Varric. "And this has what to do with me?"

Varric hesitated a moment. "She was… looking for you and Hawke after Kirkwall fell."

Rayne smirked and turned her attention back to Cassandra. "Well, you obviously weren't  _seeking_  very hard."

Cassandra bristled. " _He_  told me you were dead." She glared at the dwarf. "Obviously a lie."

Rayne studied her finger nails with a bored expression. "Don't blame him. Up until this moment only three people knew I survived Kirkwall. So, to Varric I  _was_  dead."

"The Hero of Ferelden." Solas said coming forward. "The woman who had slain the archdemon and died in the explosion that occurred in Kirkwall's Chantry?"

She frowned. "I would appreciate that title stopped being used. And I wasn't alone when the archdemon was slain. And yes, I was in the Chantry when Anders blew it up." She nodded to him. "Who are you?"

Solas bowed. "I am Solas."

Rayne tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. "You are… different from any other elf I've met." She paused and smirked. "I wonder why that is?"

Solas shrugged. "I am an elven apostate. Not Dalish nor a city elf."

"Technically all mages are now apostates." Aiden said with a smirk.

Alec couldn't help but smile. It was the same thing Solas had said the first day they met.

Solas smiled. "That is true."

Rayne brought her attention to Alec. "And you must be the one they call  _The Herald of Andraste,_ yes?" Her voice was laced with humor.

"Why would you assume that?"

She chuckled. "Well, let's see… you may be a mage but there is a powerful magic in the palm of your hand that is not connected to your powers as a mage, but it is definitely connected to the Fade. I had heard stories of the Herald and their… magic hand." She nodded to Varric. "And seeing as this one is at your side."

"Hey," Varric said. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You have a penchant for having to be right in the thick of things." She said with amusement.

Varric thought a moment and then shrugged. "Easier to get the whole story right."

"Of course." She said with laughter in her voice.

Alec frowned. "Why did it seem like you found it funny that  _I_  was the Herald?"

Rayne bowed her head. "Forgive me. It has nothing to do with you. I am… not what you would call a good little Andrastian."

"You don't believe in Andraste?" Solas asked.

"Oh no. Andraste was definitely real, I found her ashes once. It's mine and the Maker's relationship that is in question."

"You know Andraste was real, but don't believe in the Maker?" Alec asked.

"Was Andraste truly the 'bride' of the Maker, fulfilling his will? Or just a crazy woman who heard voices and said it was a god speaking to her to justify her mass genocide?" She shrugged. "Who can say? Anyone from that time is long dead. But it is not my place to pass judgments on those who follow or spread my own personal beliefs. And we'll leave it at that."

 **Well, she's interesting.**  Alec thought. "Stories of you had spread like wildfire in the Circles. A mage heroine? Savior of the Blight? You were practically an idol among the mages."

She sighed. "It amazes me that in all the stories of the Blight, no one ever mentions that I was far from alone."

"You cast the final blow." He pointed out.

"It either had to be me, or King Alistair. I was just lucky enough to be closer." She said dryly.

"Had to?"

"Yes." She did not elaborate.

"What happened to you, Angel-face?" Varric finally asked.

Her eyes went to him. "You mean after Kirkwall." She sighed. "It's… a long story. One that I will share at a later time. But right now, I am heading to Redcliffe. It was sheer luck that my scout here saw your party and the group following you all."

"Oh, no you don't." Cassandra came forward. "I have questions, and I demand answers."

Rayne raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. "Oh? And are you going to detain me if I say no."

Alec saw Aiden shift out of the corner of his eye, but otherwise did not take his eyes off of the mage.

Cassandra didn't answer.

"You have no authority over  _me_ , Seeker." She said icily. "From what I've heard, the Seekers are no more than a name anymore. Secondly, I am  _not_  a Circle mage for you to wrangle in; I am  _still_ a Grey Warden. And I do not answer to you and do not have to submit to your… questioning if I choose."

The two women glared at one another.

After a few tense moments, Alec cleared his throat. "As entertaining as it would no doubt be to see which of you would win in a fight, I think we're all on the same side, yes?"

Rayne was the first to break eye contact and bring her gaze to him. "All depends on what you mean by that."

"Are you with the rebel mages or rogue Templars?"

She snorted in amusement. "No, on either count."

Alec came forward, Rayne watched him wearily. "Look, we're seeking aid in closing the Breach. So, we either need aid from the mages or Templars. Right now, no one can get into Redcliffe. But we may have a way."

Rayne remained silent.

He took that as his cue to continue. "Why are  _you_  heading to Redcliffe?"

She sighed. "I had heard the town has been in some hardship since the… Breach as you call it, came into being." Her eyes went down to the ground. "I once stood in defense of Redcliffe during the Blight, I would not see it in peril again and not do anything to help."

Rayne closed her eyes in thought and turned away and walked a few steps. After a few moments she sighed. "All right." She turned back to him. "The world is in peril, and as always I can't seem to stay out of the muck of it."

Alec smirked.

"If the Inquisition will have me, I will join and aid however I can."

He crossed his arms. "And what can you offer to aid the Inquisition? Would you join me on my journeys? No matter how you feel about the title, having the Hero of Ferelden at my side would carry weight."

Rayne chuckled. "You don't need me at your side to carry that weight." Her eyes went to Aiden. "I have fought my fair share of wars and battles. And I have had my fill." Her eyes came back to him. "But I can offer counsel and knowledge. I still have my network of informants that can be put to use. Information all across Thedas, including in the Grey Wardens."

"If you've been dead for nearly four years, how can you still have your contacts?" Varric asked skeptically.

"I kept the network going by saying I was an apprentice of sorts to the Hero of Ferelden and followed her same views and hopes." She shrugged. "Almost all of my informants were willing to work with me if it meant helping." She turned back to Alec. "I also have arcane knowledge, far beyond what they taught in the Circle. I have diplomatic ties that can be used. It's about time the world knew I was still alive I guess. But the choice is yours. If you decline, I can find other ways to help people."

Alec's eyes went to Varric. "What do you think, Varric?"

The dwarf looked at him and then back at Rayne. He smiled. "I think she would be a fine asset to the Inquisition."

He nodded and turned back to Rayne. "Very well. The Inquisition accepts your offer and whatever aid you can give."

Rayne crossed her arms over her chest as best as she could while holding her staff and bowed, the traditional sign of respect in Ferelden. "It will be an honor." When she straightened she sighed. "Well, seeing as I can't get into Redcliffe just now, I may as well meet you where-ever your outpost is and get acquainted with your advisers."

"That would be Haven. You know how to get to it?" As soon as he asked it, he felt foolish.

She smirked. "Haven? Yes, I've been there. Let's hope it's in better hands than its previous owners."

"Previous owners?" Varric asked.

"A dragon worshipping cult." She shrugged. "They thought it was Andraste raised from death."

"Now  _that_  sounds like a story."

She chuckled. "Indeed. Mayhap I'll tell it to you." She turned to Alec and nodded. "I shall meet you there then." She began walking down the road with Aiden in tow. Abruptly she stopped and turned. "Do you have a name I can actually call you, or do you just prefer 'Herald'?"

He smirked. "Alec Trevelyan."

She raised an eyebrow. "Of the Free Marches?"

He nodded. "You know of us?"

"Trevelyan is about as well known as the Amell's in the Marches."

"Wait, you're one of  _those_  Amell's? But your accent…"

She chuckled, "A story for another time. Perhaps when we see each other again at Haven?" And with that she nodded and continued down the road and was soon out of sight.

"Interesting." He mumbled.

Varric chuckled. "You have no idea."


	4. Amell

They were knelt on a hill behind a copse of trees and bushes about a half mile from Haven to overlook the fortifications.

"Well, it definitely looks different." Rayne mumbled.

Indeed, even with it looking like a refugee camp filled with common folk, Chantry delegates and soldiers it still looked a lot better than it did under the care of the Cult of Andraste. Much livelier even though there was a thickness of sorrow, there was more hope.

A smile came to Rayne's lips as a memory of the first time she came to Haven came to her.

**_"_ ** **_Interesting strategy. Tell me: Do you intend to keep going north until it becomes south, and attack the archdemon from the rear?"_ **

**_"_ ** **_It'll never see this coming!"_ **

**_Sten raised an eyebrow at her. "Truly. It would surprise me if my enemy counter-attacked by running away and climbing a mountain."_ **

"Hmm, Templars." Aiden's voice cut in.

Memories of Sten and the others faded as she brought her mind back to the present Haven.

He was right. Down below she saw at least two Templars walking the grounds in full armor.

"That doesn't surprise me. This being the Inquisition." Rayne said.

"But then why would they be here? Didn't the Chantry denounce the Inquisition?" Aiden asked.

"Remember, the Templars left the Chantry too. But just like anyone else here, these must have some faith in the Herald."

"So, we're going down to join the masses?"

She brought her attention to her eager son. " _I am_ going down. You are staying here."

"What?!" Aiden shrieked. His tenure voice cracked. He cleared his throat, he didn't like the fact that his voice was starting to change and it made him very self-conscious.

"I am going to go down and get a read on the place. See how exactly they welcome a newly arrived mage. If things go well, you come after. If not, you wait here for me to return."

He scowled. "You do realize that if they don't welcome you, you'll be captured, yes?"

She snorted. "Please, I think I can escape a prison." She crawled backwards and slid down the hill.

Ghost, her direwolf companion since the Blight lay on the ground napping. He slowly rose as he heard their approach.

Rayne smiled sadly at the wolf. He was a giant of a beast, as big as any horse. All white fur and blood red eyes. Ghost had imprinted on her when she first arrived in Ostagar almost twelve years ago. And now he had to be almost thirteen years old. Age was catching up to him.

She gently ruffled his fur on his neck. "Hey old man."

A massive yawn came from a shaded area.

She turned and shook her head. Elgar lay lounging under a tree.

Elgar was a massive saber-lion. Bigger in length than any horse or Ghost, massive fangs that jutted out of his mouth that were thicker than her arm, and claws that could rend the flesh of a man or beast easily and pierce most armor. He had warm silver fur and violet eyes. His name meant 'spirit' in elven.

Rayne had found him as a cub in wooden Orlais a year after the events in Kirkwall. He and his entire family had been hunted down by poachers. Elgar was the only one left when she had finally caught up with them. She was determined to take care of the cub until he was old enough to take care of himself, but when the time came he didn't want to leave. And neither did she.

"Both of you are so lazy." She said in amusement.

Elgar's response was a swish of his tail.

Aiden landed next to her.

"It will take me about an hour to reach Haven. Stay safe, warm and out of sight. You know the signal if all is good."

He smirked "Other than you being put into chains?"

She chuckled. "Other than that." She looked to Ghost. "Keep him safe. If I'm not back by night fall take him to the base of the mountain and I will meet you later."

"You can't be serious." Aiden said.

She turned to him. "I don't want you up here in the middle of the night. You'll freeze to death without a fire. At least closer to the base it won't be as cold. But I  _will_  meet you later."

He nodded. He didn't like it but he understood.

Rayne sighed and knelt to be eye level with him. "Swear to me Aiden that you won't try to come in to rescue me if things go badly. And that you  _will_  go with Ghost and Elgar if night comes before I do."

Aiden scowled.

She knew her son. If she didn't set everything up specifically he would twist it later to say 'well you didn't say…' He was far too much like her sometimes.

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "I promise."

She smiled and nodded. "Thank you." She stood and kissed the top of his forehead.

" _Mamae_." He said in disapproval of the kiss and wiped his forehead.

She chuckled and flipped the hood of her coat over her head. "Stay together, stay warm."

With that she turned and began her trek to Haven.

* * *

 

About an hour later Haven came into view, but even before the village did, the sounds of training and the sounds of a smithy in work crashed down the road.

Rayne passed by the small smithy that had at least five people working inside on weapons and armor. She shook her head, if they were going to outfit an army they were going to need something better eventually to work.

Across the way was the training area with white tents erected all around. Soldiers of varying race and gender were training together with a Templar standing at attention watching them all. Every once in a while the Templar would call out to a recruit to fix something in their form.

Rayne made her way up the muddy road to where two guards – one a normal soldier the other a Templar – stood guarding the gate leading into the main village. She was the only one on the road and kept her staff in plain view, it instantly caught the attention of the two guards.

The Templar stepped forward to block her way. "Hold there. Are you new to Haven?" His voice had a thick Orlesian accent.

Rayne tilted her head slightly. "I am. I have come to offer aid to the Inquisition."

The Templar narrowed his eyes. He nodded to her staff. "I see you are a mage."

"Nothing gets by you." She said dryly. In hindsight it probably wasn't the best response.

He frowned. "You will need to report to the Commander. We keep a close eye on all mages here."

She couldn't help the chuckle that came to her throat. "I see that it didn't take you Templars long to establish a crude Circle again."

He bristled and opened his mouth to retort but the soldier came forward.

"This is no Circle, my lady." This one was Fereldan. "You are free here, but the Commander likes to keep track of all those who come into Haven."

"You mean he liked to keep track of all the mages."

The Fereldan flushed.

She turned back to the Templar. "I came to offer aid. I will not be subjugated back under a Templar thumb." She turned to leave.

"For all we know, you're a spy." Said the Templar. "We can't let you go just yet. Submit and be questioned and then you might be able to leave."

Anger sparked in her and a thin smile that they couldn't see came to her face. "No."

"Please, my lady." The Ferelden started.

The Templar cut him off. "Hush Loren!" He barked at the soldier. "Very well. Mage, you are now under the custody of the Inquisition. Will you submit peacefully?"

Rayne turned to be side faced to them. "No."

The Templar grunted. "Very well." He drew his blade and charged her.

Already Rayne could feel him tapping into his abilities to disrupt any spell she may cast. Too bad for him that she wasn't going to cast one.

She spun around him once he was close enough and brought up the blunt end of her staff. She hit him hard in the back. Between the sudden evasive action and the force of the hit, it sent him flying into the muddy ground.

Rayne heard the slither of metal behind her. She turned her head and saw Loren with his sword pointed at her.

"Please, my lady mage. I have no wish to fight you. But if you continue, I will have no choice."

The Templar grumbled as he tried to rise from the muddy earth.

Rayne studied Loren. He spoke truthfully. He had no desire to fight her. Indeed he had tried to resolve this before it began. But the Templar's attitude toward mages and her own anger had ignited the situation. Loren was just trying to fulfill his duty and keep the peace. She could not fault him for that.

She heard mumbling begin behind her. The little skirmish was starting to catch attention. She may be formidable, but she didn't think she could take on season veterans and recruits.

With a sigh she knelt into the mud and placed her staff on the ground. "Very well."

Loren released the pent up breath he was holding.

Cursing, the Templar came up behind her and grabbed her arms roughly pulling them behind her back and began tying them as tightly he possibly could.

Rayne grunted in slight pain as she felt circulation being cut off by the rope.

"That isn't necessary, Markus." Loren snapped at the Templar.

"This  _mage_  attacked me." He growled.

Loren frowned and shoved his sword into his scabbard and went to them. He gently took Rayne by the arm and lifted her off the ground. "I will take her to the cells to await the Commander." He knelt and picked up her staff.

" _I_ will handle this." The Templar's eyes were on fire when he set them on Rayne. He grabbed her hood and pulled it back finally revealing her face. "This  _bitch_  attacked me."

Loren moved in front of her to be toe-to-toe with Makus. "Only after you attacked her  _first_. Something that Commander Cullen  _will_  hear about."

Rayne's head flew up. "What did you say?"

Markus sneered at her and turned back to Loren. He spat. "Fine. Do what you want with her." He pivoted around and skulked off into the training yard, no doubt to bash out some frustrations.

Loren watched him a few moments to make sure he didn't come back. He motioned to two soldiers that were gawking at the scene. "You two! Since you have nothing better to do than stare, get over here to the gate and stand watch!"

The recruits jumped at being caught staring and rushed to do Loren's command.

He shook his head and gently nudged Rayne up the path to the village. "This could have been avoided." He said in hushed tones.

She bowed her head feeling the heat come to her cheeks from her shameful display. "I know. I am sorry."

He grunted. "Nothing to do about it now."

After a few more moments of silence and the Chantry came into view, Rayne finally spoke. "You said I would await a Commander… who?"

"Cullen. He leads the forces here. And tries to keep the peace as best he can. Don't worry, he is a fair man."

Rayne couldn't help the smile or the shake of her head. Will wonders never cease?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elven Translations:
> 
> _Mamae_ : Mother


	5. Cullen

He moved two more markers on the map on the table in front of him. "Here and here. According to the missive from the Herald these are the positions that would be good for towers."

"Shall I send messages to the soldiers we have stationed in the area, Commander?"

Cullen turned to the young man that kept his face hidden under a hood. One of Leliana's spies. "Yes, see if they can gather volunteers from the Crossroads as well. But make sure they understand  _volunteers._  Busy hands to distract the refugees."

The scout placed a hand on his chest and bowed. "Right away." He pivoted and left the room quickly.

"I think that is all, Commander."

Cullen turned to Loren, a veteran of the Blight who still bore a scar on his face from a darkspawn skirmish outside his village. "I believe so." He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Oh, one more thing, Sir." He said flushing. "I should have mentioned it earlier, but with everything else…"

Cullen waved his hand in dismissal. "What is it?"

"A mage came to Haven this morning. She said she wished to offer us aid."

"I take it she is waiting at the training yard?"

Loren diverted his gaze. "Uh, no. She's in the cells."

He frowned. "Why?"

Loren sighed. "When Markus told her she had to declare herself to you, she didn't take it very well. She decided to simply leave instead. Markus… refused to let her go and demanded she be taken into custody." He brought his gaze back and they were filled with anger. "He accused her of possibly being a spy and demand she submit. She refused and he attacked."

"Is the mage hurt? Did she use magic on Markus?"

Loren sneered. "The lady mage is fine. He never touched her. And no, she didn't. The only thing hurt on Markus is his pride at being hit into the mud by her staff." He turned and went to the door; he left briefly and brought back the staff in question. "She knows how to fight without the use of magic, Sir."

Cullen's eyes were riveted on the staff. "Whe—" His voice caught. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Where did you get that?"

Loren frowned in confusion and studied the staff. "From the lady mage."

Cullen would know that staff anywhere.  **But, it can't be** _…_  He brought his attention back to Loren. "Give it here."

Loren quickly handed him the weapon.

Cullen studied it.  **Yes, it is the exact same staff.**  He frowned and looked to Loren. "Go to Sister Leliana tell her to meet me in the cells as soon as she is able." He rushed out of the War Room not waiting for a response.

Luckily the entrance into the jail cells was just down the hall. Once, the cells had been rooms for the Chantry sisters that once occupied Haven. But most of them had been killed at the conclave, so Cullen and Leliana made them into jail cells for the unruly. They hadn't seen much use though.

His leather and plated footfalls echoed down the stone hall under the Chantry. Torches lit the area. He should have asked which cell Loren had put her in.

He made it to the center chamber and examined the cells around him. But he saw no one.

"Well, well." Came a voice to his left.

Cullen slowly turned to the voice, his heart stopped in his chest. The cell was cast in shadow but he saw a darker shadowy form move within.

"When they said I would await Commander Cullen, I almost expected to find someone else. Mayhap it is a common name these days? It has been quite some time since I was in Ferelden after all."

Cullen gently placed the staff against the wall and grabbed the torch on the wall beside him and approached the cell. An orange glow slowly penetrated the shadows revealing the form within.

Sitting in the corner with her hands clasped in irons that were attached with a thick chain to the wall with glowing runes etched in them to negate magic was a face he hadn't seen except in his dreams in nearly four years.

"Rayne…"

She sat hunched over with a small smile of amusement on her face.

She had barely changed since the last time he saw her. Her hair was now shorter, cut into a pixie cut with strands in front long enough to fall into her eyes. Those eyes…

They had haunted his sleep after the Chantry in Kirkwall was destroyed. Eyes he thought he would never see again. They had made him ache with such a pain that it was sometimes hard to breath. And now, here they were, piercing his very soul.

"You're dead." He finally said hoarsely trying to contain emotions.

She tilted her head and looked around her cell. "Damn, the Chantry owes me an apology. I guess this is proof that they are trite propaganda."

Cullen shook his head and grabbed the ring of keys that was hanging off a hook next to the cell. He quickly opened it and went in.

Rayne watched his movements carefully with a playful smirk on her face. "Granted, I guess the afterlife isn't all that bad."

He dropped the torch in an iron loop before going to her. An arm's reach away he knelt in front of her to be eye level. Being that close he saw the small scar under her eye that was nearly negligible. But just like everything else about her, Cullen noticed everything.

She held up her manacled hands the chain clattered on the floor from the movement. "The chains are a bit much though. This is our first time." She teased.

He couldn't stop the small smile from coming to his face. It was the typical Rayne thing to say. "Maker's breath." He breathed. "It  _is_  you."

"I'm pretty sure I am at least." Her voice was laced with amusement and fondness. "It's good to see you again, Knight-Captain. Oh, forgive me. Knight-Commander."

Cullen shook his head. "No, just Commander. I am no longer a Templar."

Rayne raised an eyebrow. "Truly?"

He nodded.

"Huh. Interesting." Her head snapped to cell door in attention to the sounds of soft footsteps approaching.

Cullen rose to his feet and turned to the open jail cell.

"I trust there is a good reason you requested me down here, Commander." A thick Orelsian accent said from around the corner.

"You have  _got_  to be kidding me." Rayne mumbled under her breath.

A heartbeat later the Spymaster of the Inquisition came into view.

Leliana was a lovely woman with short red hair that poked out under the cowl she always had thrown over her head and light blue eyes that even though they were filled with a fierceness that could make a grown man shake, were still beautiful. She was slender and lithe, her agile movements spoke of all the years she had as a bard in Orlais. Her skin was lightly tanned from all her time outdoors. She wore light leather black and dark purple armor that draped over her body. On the chest was covered in silver chain mail and a small flaming eye of the Inquisition pendant. Her hands were covered in black thick gloves up to her elbow and her legs covered in silver plate.

She and Cullen always made sure they were prepared for a battle. The only thing she was missing was her long bow and arrows, but he did not doubt that she had hidden blades somewhere on her.

Leliana had a playful smile on her lips when she first entered. But the moment her eyes drifted down to the prisoner on the floor she stopped moving and her mouth went agape.

"Well, this day is full of surprises it seems." Rayne mused. "Should I expect anyone else from my past to come through that door? Zevran perhaps? Oh wait, even better, Sten?"

Leliana shook her head and closed her mouth. "Warden?"

Rayne raised her hands. "Well met, Leliana. Now I know what these chains were for."

Cullen sighed and knelt and took her hands and lifted her off the floor. Even through his gloves he could feel the warmth from her hands.

She winced as she body stretched. "Ow. Maker, I'm getting old."

He gave her a lopsided smile as he took keys and began unlocking her shackles. "You're not much younger than I am."

"I know. You're getting old too."

"Thanks." He said flatly as the lock in the shackles clicked and the runes flashed before disappearing to become dormant once again.

The shackles fell to the stone floor with a loud clang and rattle from the chains.

Rayne rubbed her wrists where the shackles had chafed slightly. As she rubbed the red skin began to heal.

Cullen was too intent at watching that he was nearly knocked over as Leliana bowled over him. He managed to catch himself from falling backwards as he heard Rayne shriek.

Leliana wrapped her arms tightly around Rayne's slender form and buried her face into her chest. "Maker be praised."

Rayne kept herself up and looked down at Leliana in surprise. Once the shock of her attack subsided, Rayne smiled slightly and awkwardly patted the other woman's back as best she could with her arms pinned down. "It's good to see you again."

Leliana took a deep breath before releasing her hold and stepping back. Her eyes were glazed over with unshed tears.

Rayne's lips turned slightly down as if she saw something that Cullen couldn't.

Before he or Rayne could react, Leliana's eyes hardened and she  _smacked_  the mage across the face.

Cullen was too shocked to even say anything; he also thought it in his best interest to stay out of it.

Rayne stumbled back and rubbed her cheek. She glared at Leliana. "Ow! What the hell!"

"You were dead!" Leliana yelled back. "Everyone said you were inside the Chantry. You've been dead for nearly four years!" She moved towards Rayne again and brought her hand up for another hit.

As she swung, Rayne caught her wrist before her hand made contact. "You only get one free one." She growled. "You hit me again, I  _will_ hit back." She pushed Leliana back.

Once Leliana regained her footing the anger bled out of her eyes and her body sagged. "You were dead." She said softly.

Rayne rubbed her cheek that was turning even redder as the seconds passed. "Obviously not." She mumbled. "Unless specters are a lot more solid than I ever thought."

Cullen cleared his throat.

Both women turned to him as if forgetting that he was even there. "Perhaps we should let Rayne explain?" He brought his eyes to the mage. "I'm hoping you will at least."

"As long as I don't get  _hit_  again." She grumbled and glared at the rogue.

He sighed to himself.

Rayne looked to him. "Oh, I need to go to the hills and grab someone up first. I need to reach him before nightfall."

Cullen raised an eyebrow. "Who?"

"Aiden."

"You have Aiden with you?" He said in mild surprise.

Leliana sighed. "Of course he would be. I should have known when I heard that Alistair sent him off somewhere." She shook her head. "I should have realized that he wouldn't have sent his only son away. I just figured he was respecting some dying wish of yours to keep him out of the politics of royalty."

"See, no one to blame but yourself." Rayne playfully chastised.

Leliana glared at her. "We'll send someone to retrieve him."

Rayne scoffed. "If you think he would allow someone he doesn't know or trusts anywhere near him, you don't know him very well."

Leliana crossed her arms. "Whose fault is that?"

Rayne sighed. "Not this again…"

Cullen injected between them. " _I_ will go get him." He looked to Rayne. "If you think he trusts me enough and if it's alright with you."

She gave him a half smile. "I think you knew the answer to the first part of that."

He did. A memory of Aiden calling him  _bae_  came unbidden to him. He had been a part of the boy's life since he was three, longer than even his biological father had ever been. He had helped teach Aiden weaponry along with Rayne, and was beginning to teach him how to wield a shield and sword when all hell broke loose in Kirkwall. If things had been different…

"And since Sister Nightingale here," Rayne said referring to Leliana, using the name that she used as a spy and bard. "Doesn't trust me not to run. I would be much appreciated if you could get him."

* * *

 

An hour later he was climbing the hill where Rayne said Aiden would be waiting for her.

He reached the top and searched the clearing with a frown on his face. No one was there.

He was about to venture further thinking Aiden may have moved somewhere else when warm air ruffled his hair and the back of his neck. He reached for his sword…

A massive roar of defiance and anger shook his bones.

He spun around pulling out his blade just to lose it as he was pushed – rather forcefully – onto the ground. His sword flew from his grip as he landed on the cold hard ground with an  _oof._  Before he could get a bearing, the wind was knocked out of his lunges as a heavy pressure as pushed onto his chest.

Cullen looked up into a huge mouth filled with razor sharp massive teeth. Warm breath barreled into his face.

The saber-lion growled deep in its –  _his_  – throat in warning.

Cullen saw movement out of the corner of his eye and tried to turn his head to it. But the saber applied more pressure to his chest when he tried to move.

A heartbeat later a small form in brown leathers and a face mask came into view with a drawn bow.

When he saw Cullen his familiar eyes widened. "Knight-Captain?" His tenure voice said through the cloth covering his face. He loosened the pull on his arrow and grabbed the saber by the scruff and pulled back. "Back Elgar."

The saber growled one last time before stepping off of his prey.

Cullen took a big gulp of air. "Aiden?" He rasped out.

The boy pulled down his mask and smiled sheepishly. "I am sorry, Knight-Captain. I did not realize… I just saw someone coming that was of bigger build than my mother and well, I…"

Cullen slowly rose into a sitting position and waved his hand. "Nice to see you're as perceptive and cautious as ever."

Aiden flushed.

Before Cullen could rise from the ground, the side of his face was attacked by a wet, warm tongue. "Ugh!" He turned and smirked.

Ghost seemed to have gotten bigger since the last time he had seen the direwolf. And his once stark white fur had more tinges of grey. He moved with a slowness that spoke of his aging years.

Cullen scratched the wolf behind the ear. "It's good to see you again, Ghost." He nodded at the saber. "You called this one… El…"

"Elgar." Aiden replied as the lion nudged the small body with his nose. "It means 'spirit'."

Cullen chuckled. "Of course it does. Your mother has a theme." He grunted as he finally stood and brushed off the mud as best he could. He turned to Aiden and smiled. "It's good to see you."

Aiden's smile widened. And then after a few moments of hesitation he rushed at Cullen and threw his arms as best he could around Cullen's wider frame.

Cullen's smile became warmer as he wrapped his arms around the boy's small frame. Aiden was nearly twelve now and the boy was almost up to his chest, but he had a slight figure like his mother's.

Cullen remembered Aiden wanting nothing more than to learn the art of a warrior. A connection to a father at the time he didn't know. And as a way of spending more time with Cullen. The former Templar now realized that wouldn't happen, the boy would make an excellent rogue though. Which was to be expected, he was holding knives by the time he was four.

After a few moments Aiden released his hold and stepped back and flushed. "It is good to see you as well, Knight-Captain." He tilted his head. "You are with the Inquisition?"

Cullen nodded. "I'm also no longer a Knight-Captain. I'm no longer a Templar, but I am Commander of the forces here."

Aiden studied him. "How are you? You know… no longer being a Templar."

Cullen chuckled at Aiden's perception and memory. "I will endure." He motion in the direction of Haven. "Come, your mother is waiting. And it's getting late."

Aiden nodded and fetched a pack that was hidden behind a tree.

"After you." Cullen nudged him forward down the path.

Ghost and Elgar were right on the boy's heels.

Cullen smirked and shook his head. Those two beasts were going to cause a few heart attacks, he could see it already.

* * *

 

It was later in the evening by the time he, Leliana and Rayne had finally gained time to sit down and talk about what transpired after Kirkwall. With setting up rooms for Rayne and Aiden, getting food for them and then Rayne meeting Josephine it had taken far longer than Cullen liked.

Rayne had just put Aiden to bed and rejoined him and Leliana in the War Room. It was the one place where they could get privacy.

Rayne peeled off her coat and threw it over the back of a chair exposing her bare shoulders and black fingerless gloves that went up to her upper arm. She fell into the chair and stretched like a cat before settling back. "Okay, what do you want to know?"

Leliana crossed her arms. "Everything."

Rayne raised an eyebrow. "That could take some time. Let's see… I was born in the Free Marches."

Cullen sighed. "Rayne…" He groaned as he sat in his own chair.

She shrugged. "What? She said  _everything."_

"You know what I mean." Leliana snapped. "Can you try taking anything seriously for once?"

Rayne brought her piercing gaze to Leliana. "I take everything seriously."

Leliana couldn't hold that gaze for very long. She turned and went to get her own chair and sat.

Once everyone was settled Rayne sighed and rubbed the side of her nose.

"Okay," Cullen started. "You were in the Chantry."

Rayne brought her attention to him. "I was. I had been inside trying to get Grand Cleric Elthina to be reasonable. Tensions between mages and Templars were high and something needed to be done. But she was determined to remain neutral. After a lot of discussion… and anger on my part, we finally came to an agreement that would allow her to intervene and still not be taking sides."

"And what was that?" He asked.

"Remove both Meredith and Orsino from their positions for however long it took to let cooler heads help the situation."

He raised an eyebrow. "You had to know that Meredith wouldn't step down quietly."

"I know." She sighed again. "I was willing to be the one to force her down if need be. I just hoped it wouldn't come to that. Elthina and I both realized much of the tension that was rising was coming from those two in particular. So, we thought: remove them both temporarily and put in others that were more open minded and calmer."

"And who were those candidates?"

"Well, you would take the role of Knight-Commander. As for the mages," She shrugged. "I didn't know the mages in Kirkwall very well to know who would be a suitable. We would have figured it out."

Cullen stammered. "Me?"

"Why not? You were Knight-Captain. And you were more amendable than Meredith was."

"Can we please get back on track?" Leliana huffed.

Rayne rolled her eyes and frowned in thought. "It was the best option. It allowed the Chantry to keep its neutral stand, they weren't actually taking sides." She turned her gaze into the shadows, her bright eyes turned darker from memory. "I was just leaving when I felt a… massive energy surge underneath the Chantry. By the time I realized… I tried getting to Elthina. As much as it pained me to leave everyone else, I know her death…

"But I couldn't. I remember a blinding white and purple light and searing pain. And then, nothing." She blinked rapidly coming back to the present and turned her attention back to them. "I don't know exactly how long I was out for. The next time I awoke I was in a caged cart filled with men and women." She sneered.

Cullen stared at her mouth as it opened enough to show her teeth slightly and thought he saw fangs.

"And I was wearing a collar."

"A collar?" Leliana asked.

Rayne nodded. "The collars that Qunari use on their  _saarebas_ , their mages. Apparently Qunari aren't the only ones who use them. And I wasn't the only one wearing one in that cage. The man, who put it on me, was a slaver. He had been picking up mages fleeing from Kirkwall and collaring them to sell later. Where he found me, I don't know.

"We traveled to Antiva where some of us were sold to a…" She paused and gritted her teeth. "A brothel."

Cullen's hand began to clench into a fist as outcomes from this nightmarish story came into his head.

"The owner of the  _establishment_  was a Tevinter mage. Unable to gain power in Tevinter he went to Antiva and set up shop there. Filling his brothel with exotic beauties from all over Thedas, men and women both. And most of them were mages. Not all. But most."

"Why would he want mages?" Cullen couldn't help but ask.

Rayne was silent for a few heartbeats as she stared into the darkness of her mind before she continued. Her voice hollow like her mind was far away and she was no longer aware of the two that were with her. "We were outfitted with new collars. Some that was of special design. It allowed the mages who wore them to perform minor magic. Such as lust and desire enchantments used on the patrons that visited. A way for the Tevinter to get more coin out of his customers. Any offensive spell would trigger an enchantment in the collar to administer increasing amounts of electricity into the mages body. The more times it was triggered, the stronger the voltage became."

"Maker." Leliana breathed.

"Enough times of that, most mages broke." Her voice went hard and cold. "But I was not so easily broken. So I was put through more… rigorous punishments. Tortures that were painful but would not leave marks. I don't know how long that went on. Finally he grew frustrated and brought in a fool proof way of breaking my spirit.

"I'm still unsure of what exactly it was. Even in all my travels since I haven't been able to find it since. A small bug that burrows into the neck and latches onto the base of the brain sending a toxin in that makes the one it's attached to more pliable."

Cullen swallowed. What kind of man would do something like that?

"I no longer had any control of my body. I could not speak or move unless… programmed to say or do certain things. But I was aware of everything he made me do. For months I was a slave hidden behind a mask that all his slaves were forced to wear, doing things that still make my skin crawl. Inside I was screaming and fighting. But I couldn't…" Her voice broke.

Cullen wanted nothing more than to go to her side and comfort her. But knew better than to do that especially with others around. So he kept himself where he was and just hoped that she could feel his desire to help ease her pain.

Rayne took a deep breath and her eyes came back into focus, bringing her attention back to them. "I was there for nearly a year before a familiar face just happened to venture into the brothel. Zevran."

Leliana raised an eyebrow. "Zevran?"

Rayne nodded. "He was in Antiva dealing with another Crow that was sent after him. And he came to the brothel to celebrate. It was sheer luck that I happened to be the one he chose." She smirked. "Well, maybe not luck. He seemed to have a type. When he got me into a back room and found a familiar scar, he knew. When he tried to push to old memories, to get some of the real me out, the bug in my brain began working harder sending too much toxin into my brain and it caused me to pass out.

"I woke up hours later in a cave with Zevran sitting over me and watching. He rescued me after the Tevinter had removed the bug from my neck to prevent permanent damage."

"And yet you still remained hidden?" Cullen asked, a slight accusing tone in his voice.

"After nearly a year being gone, the world had moved on and was falling apart. And I felt it better in the end for the Hero of Ferelden to remain dead. But if there was anyone who deserved to know I was alive, it was Aiden. So I went to Denerim where I had heard Alistair had taken him. In the end, Aiden wanted to come with me. So I left a small token for Alistair to find." She shrugged. "We've been moving around ever since. Only three people in Thedas knew I was still alive until I ran in to the Herald in the Hinterlands. And here I am."

Cullen sat there taking in everything she had said. He understood why she didn't want to reveal herself, even if she didn't say so. She needed to be alone after everything that Tevinter put her through. If it was anything like the Tower had been…

"Oh, Rayne." Leliana said. Her harshness in her voice now gone replaced with sympathy.

"Oh, don't start." Rayne chastised. "I'm fine. And I'd prefer just to leave it in the past and not have you all sappy around me."

Cullen couldn't help the small smile on his face and shook his head.  _Typical Rayne._  "So, you're planning on staying then? To aid the Inquisition?"

She nodded. "As much as I can." She stretched and hid a yawn behind her hand.

"You need sleep." Leliana said and stood. "We have kept you up far too long."

Rayne waved her hand in dismissal. "Best to get all this out of the way now. Better than having to look at both of your glowering faces until I did."

Cullen smiled sheepishly. "Can you blame us? You were important."

Rayne looked at him and smirked.

He flushed. "To a lot of people. No doubt they would also like to know."

"Oh, I'm sure the story of the Hero of Ferelden joining the Inquisition will spread soon enough. I'm pretty sure Josephine has already started writing the missives to send out." She stood and bent back to pop her back. "But, I could use some sleep."

Cullen nodded and rose.

Leliana was already heading out the door. "We will discuss tomorrow what role you will have." She turned and threw her arms around Rayne in a hug.

Rayne looked at her leeringly. "Should I expect to be punched again?"

Leliana chuckled and stood back and lightly hit Rayne's arm. "No." She turned and began walking to her sleeping quarters.

Cullen watched her go a few moments, a yawn came unbidden.

Rayne chuckled. "Sounds like you need some sleep as well, Commander."

He turned to her and smiled. "Probably. It's a difficult thing to come by it seems. And please, stop calling me that."

Rayne's smile fell and looked at him worriedly. "It's the withdrawal. Isn't it? That keeps you from sleeping."

He diverted his gaze. "I endure."

His breath caught as he felt her hand cup his cheek and bring his gaze back to her. "You deserve more than to simply endure." She said softly. "You've been through enough."

"You're saying I should start taking it again?"

She shook her head. "No. But there has to be a better way. If you ever need help…"

His face softened and he brought a hand to the arm that was holding his face. "Thank you." He said softly.

She smiled and released her hold on him. "Good-night, Cullen."

She turned away and walked down to where her and Aiden's sleeping quarters were.

Cullen watched her saunter down the hall until she was out of view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elven translation:  
> Bae: Dad/Father


	6. Trevelyan

He stretched his muscles as he walked out of the Chantry and began his walk through the camp. Alec always went walking among the soldiers and faithful whenever he arrived back at Haven, no matter how sore he was from his journey. But with a horse that he acquired from Horse-master Dennet in the Hinterlands, it made the trip less trying and shorter.

He made it down to where the siege equipment was being built, intending to go check on how it was coming along when a trill of a child's laughter filled the air.

It was such a foreign thing to hear, especially here, that it immediately brought a smile to his face. Alec followed the sound.

He found Aiden in the training yard with Varric. The boy was showing the dwarf his precision with a bow. Alec was pretty impressed with how well the boy could wield it. Cullen stood off to the side watching the pair with his arms crossed over his chest and a smile of amusement on his face.

Alec scanned the area and found who he was looking for and headed that direction.

Rayne leaned against the fence that acted as a stable for his steed – who he still hadn't named – that lay on the ground sleeping. She had her legs stretched out in front of her as she leaned against a post with her arms across her chest as she watched Aiden and Varric.

"It's a nice sight." Alec said as he approached.

Rayne turned her gaze to him and smirked playfully. "Why, thank you."

He chuckled. "I meant a child playing. But you're not a bad sight either."

She chuckled and turned back to the others. "It is nice to see his smile and hear a laugh. It comes too far and in-between anymore it seems." She nodded towards them. "It helps being around people that he once knew and called friend."

"Or Uncle?" He mused.

"Or Uncle." She said in amusement.

"You have known Varric for a long time then?"

Rayne tilted her head in thought as he joined her at the fence and leaned against it to watch the others with her. "I first met Varric… oh let's see. Aiden was just under a year old. But I didn't actually get to know him until three years later when I made Kirkwall our home." She smiled at the memory. "And he was immediately taken to Aiden and Aiden to Varric. Thick as thieves they were. Varric was a good friend to us both and a great teacher to Aiden. Even if one of those things was teaching him Wicked Grace and Diamond Back." She said with humor in her voice.

"You knew his friends too then?" He asked.

She chuckled. "Of course. I helped them in their mischief until the Chantry was destroyed. It was nice meeting family."

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Family?"

She turned to him. "You don't know? Hawke is my cousin."

His eyebrows rose in surprise. "Really?"

She nodded and turned back to the others in the training yards as Cullen's voice drifted towards them as the Commander went to Aiden with a wooden practice blade. "His mother, Leandra, was my mother's cousin. So I guess that made Hawke and me second cousins. Or something like that. I didn't necessarily look into the family tree. It made no matter to me."

"Why not?" It was surprising to him that someone wouldn't want to know about their family. His was a close knit family.

She was quiet a moment as she watched Cullen and Aiden trade blows. "Other than Vector, Leandra, Carver and Gamlen I know absolutely nothing of my family." She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "Not everyone is as willing to accept a mage in the family."

"What do you mean?"

"The fact that you were so close to your family is actually a very rare thing for most mages. Most, once they are taken to a Circle, never see their families again. Some never hear from them. The Chantry tries to make sure mages are taken to a Circle as far from their families as possible. Like I said, the fact that you saw yours and were still close as you were is rare."

"What about yours?" He mentally kicked himself. He shouldn't pry this soon after meeting her.

"The Amells are widely known for having magic in their blood. Also known is the fact that the Amells view magic as a stain on their lineage. My mother was an Amell. And had those views dug in deep. I'm unsure who my father was, but he must have felt the same." She smiled.

He turned to the training area as he saw Aiden move swiftly into the forest of tents and vanish.

"According to Leandra and the little bit I got from First Enchanter Irving, I have… or had siblings. The Circle took them all. Irony in that I guess. I have never met them, nor do I know how many there were. For all I know they all failed their Harrowings. I know at least one did."

"How do you know that?" He asked as he watched Cullen move through the tents hunting Aiden with wooden sword in hand.

"She was at the tower in Ferelden before I arrived. Irving had intended her as his apprentice and pushed for an early Harrowing. She failed. Irving carried around that guilt for the longest time. Even to when I left the Circle." She paused. "I wonder what befell Irving after the Circles fell…" She said softly.

They watched a few moments as Cullen moved through the tents a frown on his face. Varric stood off to the side watching. And then suddenly Cullen was attacked from behind by a small form. Aiden jumped onto his back and latched his arms around his neck. Cullen grabbed him and pulled him over his head and swung him around. Aiden's laughter filled the area.

Alec chuckled and turned to Rayne who had a gentle smile on her face. "When I was found with the gift of magic at five my parents threw me out of the house. They said they wouldn't have a mage defiling their home. That I could wait for the Templars on the street."

His eyes widened. "You were only five? That's so young!"

She shrugged like it didn't matter. "I will admit that many mages don't manifest that early."

"But to have your parents do that…"

"Eh, I don't remember them. So no point in hanging onto any resentment. Only reason I remember that little bit was because it was the day I got these markings."

He frowned in confusion. "Markings?"

She turned her face and pointed at the tattoos on her face. "I know you couldn't miss these."

He flushed. "Well, yes, but…"

She chuckled as she shifted a bit to get comfortable. "You just thought they were tattoos."

"Aren't they?"

She smirked. As she did the markings on her face began to glow a gentle warm blue. And that's when he felt it.

He gasped. "Lyrium?"

The glow began to recede and he no longer felt the magical mineral. "Yes. A lyrium brand."

"But why would you get something like that? And at five!"

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "I didn't  _choose_  it. After I was forced onto the street I was kidnapped by a Tevinter Magister, he took me and carved the lyrium into my flesh. A weapon to help compete against another Magister that had done the same procedure on an elven boy, who would become a fearsome warrior. The Magister who took me was curious as to how it would do in a mage." She turned her eyes back to the others. "I was awake through all of it. The most painful thing I had ever encountered."

"He let you go?"

She gave a bark of a laugh. "Far from it. No, Templars had found me thanks to a concerned citizen that didn't realize I had been a mage. They followed a trail and the influx of magic they felt. The Magister and his apprentice escaped back to Tevinter and I was taken to the Circle in Ferelden. I hear the Magister died a few years back. Supposedly by a rival."

Alec shook his head in disbelief. "Right, a rival." He said flatly.

She turned her head slightly to him and smirked before turning back.

They watched Cullen and Aiden playfully fight a little longer before Alec spoke again. "And you have known the Commander for just as long? From the way he and Aiden get along..."

"Oh, Cullen I've known even longer." She chuckled. "You're not very subtle."

He shrugged sheepishly. "Okay, I admit it. Commander Cullen did mention that he had been at the tower in Ferelden during the Blight. So I wondered…"

"If we knew each other? The answer is yes. The first time we met…" She narrowed her eyes in thought. "We briefly met when I was about ten. He was thirteen and just joining the Order. He and a Knight-Commander, I don't remember his name, had stopped at the Circle to speak with Knight-Commander Greagoir. Cullen and I ran into each other. Something I'm sure Cullen doesn't even remember."

**I think you would be surprised.**  Alec thought to himself. He had noticed how Cullen would steal side glances over at him and Rayne.

"I was fifteen the next time I saw him. When he fully joined the Order Greagoir had requested him at the Circle in Ferelden."

He gave her a side look. "How well did you two know each other?"

A sad smile came to her face and she chuckled. "I guess there is no point in hiding it anymore. We were romantically involved. Well, as romantically involved as a mage and Templar could be in the middle of a mage tower where such fraternizing was frowned upon. So much so I was risking Tranquility and he losing his knighthood."

"They would do that?"

She turned her head to him and gave him a bemused smirk. "You lived in a tower, you know the rules."

He did. But it still baffled him. "But to go to such extremes? Tranquility?"

She sighed. "Yeah. They would say that I seduced him with blood magic. That was always the story they gave to justify the Rite."

He frowned and shook his head.  **How absurd.**  He thought. "How… intimate were the two of you?"

She laughed. "Well, aren't you bold?" She let her laughter subside before continuing. "Like I said, we  _were_  in a Circle. We stole kisses when we could; found excuses to be near each other. And Greagoir and Irving were accommodating to allowing him to watch over me."

"Why? Weren't they suspicious?"

"No. After being raped I had a trust issue. And they knew that Cullen was one of the few I trusted after, so they wanted me to feel secure again."

Alec just blinked at her. The way she said that… "You just say that like you're talking about the weather?"

She turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"You were… raped?"

"Oh, that." She turned back. "Yes." She shrugged. "It no longer bothers me. Once upon a time I had a hard time speaking of it. Now, I've accepted it and realize how it helped mold me into the woman I am. If it wasn't for that incident I would have never gone and learned how to fight hand-to-hand or with weapons besides a staff."

Alec had heard stories of things like that happening in Circles; they had a few cases that, as far as he knew, never went anywhere. But to know someone that actually went through it. "Did the Templar at least get punished?"

Rayne chuckled. "It wasn't a Templar who had done it. But you're not the first to think so, and definitely won't be the last."

His eyes widened. "It was a mage?" This baffled him even more. In his Circle mages looked out for one another for the most part. They may not have liked each other, but in a world of mages vs Templars they protected each other.

"Two mages to be exact." She said nonchalantly. "The older boy, human, can't remember his name. He been trying to win my favor, and I kept shooting him down. Which bruised his ego. Add in I was a model student and gained constant praises from the senior enchanters. Whereas he would constantly be reprimanded. He thought I thought I was better than him. So he and an elven lad decided to bring me down a peg I guess.

"They had intended on killing me after the deed. Make it look like I had been dabbling in blood magic and a demon or the spell had gone awry. They nearly succeeded." She nodded to the training yard. "Cullen was the one that saved me."

Alec turned to the yard and watched Cullen pin Aiden into the muddy ground and mussed his hair. Aiden sat there laughing and smiling.

"What happened to them?" He asked. "The mages."

"Since they had used magic in order to paralyze me and tried to kill me with it, Greagoir and Irving had wanted to invoke the Rite. But the boys were both a part of prestigious families. The families made a considerable  _donation_  to the Chantry. Shortly after the boys were taken to a new Circle."

"That's deplorable!" Alec exclaimed

She shrugged. "What's done is done. But I will admit that I secretly hope they failed horribly at their Harrowings."

It would be a fitting justice. Alec thought hotly. He searched for a new topic. Even though she seemed unfazed by the current topic, it made  _him_  angry. "Why did you join the Wardens?"

She chuckled. "You're just full of questions." She shook her head. "Joined… Makes it sound like I had much choice."

"Didn't you?" He asked confused. "The story says that Irving had suggested you to the Grey Wardens."

She snorted. "Of course they would. They couldn't have the  _Hero of Ferelden_  sound like a villain. I was practically conscripted into the Wardens." She shook her head and turned to his shocked expression. "To fully understand how it happened… I wonder, how long would you say I was a proper Harrowed Circle mage before I became a Warden?"

He thought a moment and then shrugged. "A year? Maybe longer?"

She smirked. "When I first met Duncan, the Grey Warden that recruited me, I had barely woken from my Harrowing the night before."

His eyes widened. "Seriously?"

She nodded. "Duncan had come to the tower at King Cailan's behest, to recruit more mages to aid against the darkspawn at the beginning of the Blight. It was a losing battle with Greagoir though. At the time, no one believed it was a true Blight, just a large raid. Some outside of Ferelden still believe that. They didn't have to see the destruction and death by the archdemon like Ferelden and Denerim did. Irving had made it a point for me to meet Duncan. To this day, I don't know why he did. But it ended up saving me."

"Saving you?"

She sighed. "Growing up in the tower, I only had one person that I truly called friend. His name was Jowan. He wasn't a very adept mage. He struggled. I was the only one that took the time to sit with him for hours after lessons to teach him spells. It would take time, but eventually he would get it.

"After my meeting with Duncan, Jowan had come to me. First, to introduce me to a girl he had become involved with. An initiate of the Chantry, Lily. It was as scandalous as mine and Cullen's relationship. Second, was to tell me that he and Lily had learned that he was going to be made Tranquil. Apparently Greagoir had received evidence that Jowan was a blood mage, and they feared making him a Circle mage would endanger everyone, which was why he hadn't undergone his Harrowing yet. He wanted my help to flee the tower with Lily. He wouldn't reveal his plan to me until I promised to help."

"And you did?"

"Not initially." She said sadly. "Something that I know wounded him. It was partially selfishness on my part. I wanted to exhaust any other possibility. I didn't want to lose my only friend. So I had gone to Irving."

"You told him?" Alec asked a little shocked.

"No. I went to confront him, asking him if it was true that Jowan was going to be made Tranquil. I had hoped that Jowan and Lily had just been over exaggerating… But they weren't. Irving admitted that the Rite was going to be carried out and there was nothing he or I could do about it. The evidence against Jowan was damning according to Greagoir.

"And so I had to make a decision: Allow the Rite to happen and watch my best friend become one of the Tranquil that I saw around the tower every day. Or help Jowan escape. The choice was clear. I agreed to help him. His plan: break into the phylactery chamber, find his phylactery and destroy it so he could escape and not be hunted down as easily."

Alec remembered years ago a group of Templars had come to the Circle and had built a more secure phylactery chamber. And now he wondered: did that have anything to do with this?

"We met with… minimal resistance getting it. Found what we were looking for and destroyed it. It wasn't until we left that we ran into trouble. Irving, Greagoir and a group of Templars were waiting for the three of us." She paused, her voice sadder. "I still remember the look of disappointment in Irving's eyes when he saw I had been helping."

Alec waited a few moments allowing her to look at the memory. "What happened?"

"Jowan was sentenced to death and Lily was to be sent to Aeonar, a mage prison. Geagoir never got to my punishment. I made the foolish mistake of trying to intervene; a Templar grabbed me in order to keep me out of it as another Templar went to grab Lily to take her away. Jowan… lost it. He wouldn't let us be punished or hurt. And that's when he revealed the truth. He cut open his hand and cast a spell on everyone there except us three. Knocking everyone else unconscious."

"So the rumor had been true…"

She nodded, her eyes darkened in sadness. "Lily was disgusted; she wanted nothing to do with him. And me… when he looked at me he saw hurt and betrayal. He fled the tower and became an apostate." She took a deep breath. "When Greagoir and Irving finally awoke, they took Lily away to Aeonar – I never knew what ever became of her after that."

"And you?" He asked warily.

She was silent for a few heartbeats. "Neither of them wanted to cast judgment on me. But I had willingly helped a maleficar, I helped him escape. And I stood by my decision to help Jowan, and would do it again."

"You would? Even if you knew he was a blood mage?"

She turned slightly to him. "Even so."

"But… you just said you felt betrayed, hurt…"

"I felt that not because he  _was_ a blood mage. But because he lied to me about it. I had asked him if the rumors about him were true, and he lied to my face. If there was one thing I believed our friendship had, was honesty. We never lied to one another. And the fact that he lied to me about this… I was hurt and betrayed. But he had seen it that I felt the same as Lily."

Alec chewed on his lip, the question wanting to come out, but he didn't know how best to ask it.

"I can practically hear you screaming over there." Rayne teased. "Ask your question. I doubt I will be offended by it."

With a deep breath, he asked: "Is it because you are a…" He couldn't bring himself to say the last word. Especially with so many other ears around.

"Because _I_ am a blood mage?" She asked nonchalantly. "I would like to think I would have helped even if I hadn't been one at the time."

He looked at her in shock. "You just… admit it?" He looked around at the Templars worrying someone overheard. "You were one even back then?"

"I don't go around broadcasting it, especially to the faithful." She turned her head and smirked at him. "I hope I don't have to worry about it with you. Even being a Warden, telling everyone I'm a blood mage probably wouldn't go over well. Even though they couldn't  _technically_ do anything about it, it wouldn't stop them from secretly trying. And to answer your second question. Yes, even back then. I practiced the art for almost three years before I left the tower."

He shook his head. "Did you just up and one day say: 'hey, I want to learn to do this?'"

She laughed. "No. The first time I cast a blood spell had been by accident, protecting Greagoir and I from a possessed mage. I had run out of  _mana_  and had inadvertently begun using my own life force. It was no secret what I had done. My only saving grace was that it was an accident and had kept Greagoir alive. Or else I probably would have been made Tranquil. They just assumed I wouldn't pursue the magic."

Alec looked to Cullen as the Commander tossed one of Aiden's daggers into the air testing balance and talking to the boy and Varric. "Did… does he know?"

Rayne followed his gaze. "Varric and Aiden know, it's a close secret among the people I have fought alongside with over the years. But Cullen… no. He was after all, a Templar until recently."

"Will you tell him?"

She was silent a moment. "I… don't know. Even though he's not a Templar, he still is very devout and still has the same views concerning mages and maleficar."

He nodded. He took note of the sadness in her voice but decided not to press the issue. Instead he cleared his throat. "So, what happened with your sentencing?"

"Oh, right. I was in the middle of a story." She said in amusement. "Before Greagoir could decide on my punishment, Duncan intervened. He offered me a place within the Grey Wardens, to take me under his wing. At first I didn't want to. But he told me not to be a fool, that Tranquility or death was what was awaiting me if I didn't. So, I left my fate in the hands of the three men around me.

"Greagoir wanted me to face my punishment. But Duncan pressed it and basically invoked the Right of Conscription. I left that day and a week later I arrived at Ostagar and underwent my Joining. Then later that night: the massacre that was the Battle of Ostagar. That left only me and another Grey Warden that would go on to become king alive to mass an army against the Blight."

Alec shook his head. "So, you went from apprentice, to Harrowed mage, to Warden in a week. And then Hero of Ferelden and Warden Commander a year later?" He chuckled. "That sounds like a story Varric would concoct."

Rayne chuckled. "It does, doesn't it? Who knew that one event would be the biggest turning point in my life? That one year changed me. I barely recognize the girl I had once been at the tower."

Alec watched Cullen as he went back to his soldiers with Alec in tow. "So, what happened at the Circle during the Blight?"

"Have you tried asking Cullen?"

He flushed. "Well, yes. But he didn't want to talk about it."

Rayne looked at the Commander sadly. "Yes, I imagine he wouldn't. It wasn't a good time."

"But what  _happened_  exactly? We heard stories but…"

She shook her head. "If you want to know, you will have to wait until Cullen wants to talk about it. I won't betray his trust by going behind his back."

He sighed but didn't press. He searched for a new topic. He knew he was probably border lining on annoying with all his questions. But he was curious about Rayne. He also figured that with what little he had gathered about her so far, she wouldn't be shy about telling him to fuck off. "Tell me about the Wardens."

She scowled. "There's… not a lot I can really talk about. But ask away and I'll answer what I can."

He frowned at the phrasing but mentally shrugged and pressed on. "What does the Joining entail?"

She sighed. "That is one of the things I can't talk about. Just know that it is… unpleasant to say the least. And I don't envy those who have to go through it. It's been over a decade and I still remember it as vividly as it happened yesterday. And I'm pretty sure I'll remember it until the day I go for my Calling."

"Calling?"

She was silent for a few moments before answering. "Wardens… we don't live long lives. Either death by darkspawn or the Calling takes us. Which I guess they are the same in the end. At the… end of a Warden's years they will always go down into the Deep Roads for one final battle against the darkspawn to die."

That was commonly known. Grey Wardens were honored among the dwarves for it. "But why? Why call it 'The Calling'?"

She sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. "As you probably know, Grey Wardens are connected to darkspawn, we can sense them. Which is what makes us so effective against them. But it's… more than just sensing them. We… hear them. I guess it's more appropriate that we hear the Old Gods that call out to the darkspawn to lure them down to dig deeper to release them."

She was obviously struggling with telling him. "Rayne, if you can't…"

She sighed and turned and gave him a lopsided smile. "It's just difficult. Trying to weed out things I know I can't talk about. Like the Joining. But… the Order needs to stop being so secretive. At a certain point the whispers… the song, it becomes louder. To a point where we can no longer think of anything else. It consumes us. When it gets to that point we know it's time to venture into the Deep Roads, never to be seen again. Hence why we call it 'The Calling', the whispers call us to our inevitable deaths."

"Why does it happen? How long before the Calling comes?" He shot off.

She smirked and shook her head. "How long? It varies. The longest recorded was thirty years. But could take longer, could be shorter. How often you're around darkspawn plays a factor, or Blight. But it all depends on each individuals will to overcome it. As to why: I can't tell you."

"So, if it depends on will, could someone just completely overcome it and never go to their Calling?"

She shook her head. "No. No one has the will strong enough to ignore the song and… well. No one can." She said sadly.

He nodded, thought a moment and then asked, "How do you end a Blight?"

She smiled wistfully and then shook her head. "We cut off the snakes head. Literally. Well, I guess it's an archdemon and not a snake."

"But how do you kill an archdemon?"

"Cut off its head." She said again. "Or stick it with a sword in the right place."

He frowned. "There has to be more to it than that."

She sighed. "You asked how we did it. That's how; it just has to be a Grey Warden to do it."

"Why?"

"I can't tell you."

His frowned deepened. "You're right, your Order is secretive."

She shrugged.

"I'm starting to wonder if it's just that they're secretive or you just don't know very much."

She laughed. "A little of both. Even the most seasoned of Grey Wardens don't  _know_  everything about the Order. It makes no sense really. And I didn't have a mentor in the year I was fighting darkspawn except for King Alistair. And he had only been a Warden for six months when I joined. So he didn't know much either. And I never went to other Wardens after the Blight to learn more. I had more concerns. Plus they weren't all that happy with me at the time."

"Why? You ended the Blight!"

"Yes, but… I had been part of a civil war. Which is kind of a no-no for Wardens. We're supposed to remain neutral. And here I was planning a coup to over throw Loghain as regent. Add in I also made… questionable choices after I became Warden Commander. Some choices they  _really_  didn't like."

Alec thought a moment. "You said Wardens are supposed to be neutral."

"Yes."

He thought to his recent briefing with Leliana. "They wouldn't have anything to do with the Divine's death, would they?"

Rayne turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "What? Where would you even get an idea like that?"

He sighed. "Leliana's concerned about the Wardens. She had been getting reports that the Wardens in Ferelden had gone missing. When she tried contacting the Wardens in Orlais about it, they were gone too." He gave her a side glace as he noticed her scowl. "We're not  _saying_ they had anything to do with it. But the timing…"

Rayne grumbled under her breath and pushed off the fence. "If you'll excuse me, Lord Trevelyan. Seems I need to have a word with our spymaster." With that she headed to the tent Leliana used as a sort of base of operations.

Alec groaned to himself. Great. He just possibly got Leliana killed or Rayne shanked.


	7. Amell

She threw open the flap leading into Leliana's tent and found the former chantry sister in the middle of a discussion with one of her spies.

Leliana looked to her in surprise. "Rayne? Is something wrong?"

It was still strange to Rayne to be working with Leliana like this again. It was almost like they were back during the Blight. Except now, both women were harder. "Why didn't you tell  _me_  about the Wardens?" She snapped.

Leliana sighed and said a few words to her spy.

The spy, a young woman by the looks of it, rushed to the entrance where Rayne stood fuming. The woman tried her best to steer clear of Rayne's wroth.

"I take it the Herald went to you."

Rayne closed the flap behind her and came further into the tent, going to the small wooden table that had papers strewn across it. "I shouldn't have had to hear it from him. Why didn't you tell me the Wardens in Ferelden had gone missing?"

She thought of Oghren, Sigrun and Velanna. The three she had personally brought into the Wardens, she was at their Joining and prayed to what-ever would listen that they survived it. Oghren she had known the longest, he had been with her during the Blight and fought alongside her with the archdemon. If anything happened to any of them…

And then there was Nathaniel. The last she had seen him he had been in the Free Marches nearly seven years after the Blight. He had been working as the Wardens sort of liaison with the Architect since he had history with him.

Other than Anders at the time, Nathaniel was more important to her than the rest. He had been there for her through her pregnancy and had taken care of her when things got rough towards the end. And had protected her against Justice. He had even wanted to join her when she left Ferelden. He cared for her and Aiden.

Rayne hoped that whatever was apparently befalling the Wardens in Ferelden hadn't reached him.

"I had nothing to go on." Leliana said. "You more than anyone here know that Warden's go missing."

"Not like that." Rayne said through clenched teeth. "Two countries worth of Wardens go missing and we're supposed to chalk it up to normal Warden disappearance?"

"Which is why I asked the Herald to try and find a Warden that was reported to be spotted in the Hinterlands. Warden Blackwall."

Rayne frowned in thought, that name tickled at a memory. "I think Alistair mentioned a Blackwall once. Someone Duncan knew. Or something."

Leliana shrugged. "I thought maybe he may know what is going on. If that didn't pan out I was going to come to you and see about your connections."

Rayne rubbed her eyes. "How about come to the only Warden in camp when something  _involves_  the Wardens?"

"You've been here for a day." Leliana snapped. "Pardon me if I'm still not used to you being alive and here."

Rayne sighed. "I thought you got over that."

"It still hurt, Rayne. It's like you didn't trust me with the secret."

She threw up her arms in exasperation. "It's not like you were the only person  _not_  to know. Only three people in Thedas knew. Probably would have been two if Zevran wasn't the one to find me in the first place. So don't act like it was some personal slight towards you."

Leliana slammed her hand onto the table causing it to rattle. "You've always done this! Ever since the Blight, you've ran! And hid! It took seven years to know that you were in Kirkwall."

Rayne gritted her teeth. Before she could say anything the flap to the tent opened letting in a burst of sunlight and cold air.

Cullen came through and eyed both women. "What in the Maker's name is going on? We could almost hear you arguing down at the training yard."

Leliana folded her arms and refused to speak.

Rayne shook her head. "Get over it Leliana. It's not as if you never had your own secrets." With that she spun out of the tent and headed to the Chantry.

"Rayne." Cullen's voice called as she pushed open the door into the building and made a bee-line for the room that they had given her.

She didn't stop her momentum until she got to the door and his hand gently grabbed her forearm.

"Are you going to ignore me now just because you're angry with Leliana?" He asked. His voice wasn't angry but concerned.

She took a deep breath and turned to him. His warm amber eyes were filled with worry and the need to help. It was a typical Cullen look, one that he had even during their years at the tower. He had acquired a scar on his upper lip since the last she had seen him that went up into his cheek by about an inch. In truth, she liked it. It cut away more of the innocent baby face he once had. The years had definitely been kind to him since their time at the tower. His blonde hair was styled back, slight waves could be seen.

She smirked. "Have you always styled your hair?"

He blinked at her. "What?"

"Your hair. I don't remember it being so… nice."

He released his hold and rolled his eyes. "Seriously?"

She shrugged. "What? I can't help the need to voice the random things that come to my mind." She pushed open her door and went inside.

"Who says I style it?" He asked incredulously.

She turned and found him standing outside the open door with a bemused look on his face. "So, you're saying your hair just naturally looks like that? You know you can come in, I don't bite."

He smirked and stepped inside, he shut the door enough to leave it open a crack. "Not from what I remember." He teased as he turned back to her.

She fell into the wooden chair that came with a matching dark oak desk. "I don't recall ever biting you."

He chuckled. "No, but you always threatened."

"It was a threat, was it?"

He gave her a lopsided smile that she admitted to herself was very charming. "Well, more like a promise."

She laughed. "True enough. One that I never kept."

"Well, you have always been a bad girl." He said in amusement.

She gave him her best smoldering smile. "You have no idea."

Cullen cleared his throat and diverted his gaze.

Rayne had almost forgotten how easy it was to fall into the familiar territory with him. It was the same when they met back up in Kirkwall. It was like nothing had changed between them. The easy familiar comfort. But everything had changed between them.

"Are you going to tell me about the argument? Or will I have to hear it from Leliana later?"

Rayne sighed. "I went to her about missing Wardens."

Cullen groaned and turned his attention fully back to her. "Not that again."

"Again?" She frowned. "So you knew about this too?"

"I told her she was being paranoid. I know enough about the Wardens – through you and history – that they wouldn't have had anything to do with what happened at the conclave."

"But all of them going missing at once? Across Ferelden  _and_  Orlais? That doesn't strike you as odd? And you do realize that the Wardens were exiled out of Ferelden during the Orlesian occupation because they tried to start a war with one of the kings, yes? And I staged a coup to overthrow Queen Anora."

Cullen smirked. "I heard they – and you – had good cause."

"Besides the point."

He chuckled. "Fair enough. So, what are you saying? The Wardens had something to do with it?"

She shook her head. "No. But the timing… It just seems strange. I don't think they're involved." She looked at him. "But what if their disappearance has something to do with it? Maybe it's connected." She didn't realize until that moment how much her voice sounded scared.

Cullen searched her face for a few heartbeats before nodding. "Okay. If this lead of Leliana's doesn't pan out in the Hinterlands, we'll continue it." He tilted his head. "Is there any way to contact the Wardens at Weisshaupt?"

She sighed. "I'm sure there is. I just don't know how that is going to go coming from me."

"Why's that?"

She smirked. "I have been dead for the last three years. Plus they can still hold grudges."

He chuckled. "That's what you get for being a hero."

Her smile fell. "I'm not a hero."

He shook his head. "Tell that to the thousands of lives you saved." He smiled. "Me included."

She smiled and shook her head. "Let's just agree to disagree. Shall we?"

He shrugged and went over to the wall closest to the desk where she sat and folded his arms and leaned against it. The smell of sweat and leather met her senses, as well as the musky scent that came from the coat he wore that had a thick lion's mane around the shoulders. "As is the norm." He tilted his head. "You and the Herald seem to already be getting along famously."

Was that jealousy she heard? No, she told herself. She was reading too much into it. She shrugged. "He just wanted to get to know me better. Asked me questions about the Wardens, how I joined, time at the tower. Junk like that."

He gave her a lopsided smile. "Seems a little taken with you."

Her lips twitched into a smile. "I don't think I'm his type."

Cullen looked at her incredulously. "Rayne, you're every man's type."

She laughed. "Trust me I'm not. And I'm pretty sure I'm not Alec's." She had noticed Alec's eyes and where they lingered as they talked. And they weren't on her.

Even though she had to admit, Alec was a good looking man in his own right. Dark brown hair that was shaved on the sides and back, leaving only the top a few inches long – enough to run one's fingers through. He had hazel green eyes and a scar under his left. She couldn't help but wonder if he acquired it before or after the rebellion began. He was well muscled, not nearly as much as Cullen or even an apostate like Anders was. So that told Rayne that it was muscle that he only recently acquired over the last few years having to fight for his life.

But even though he had only recently been tossed into the open world due to the mage/Templar conflict, he was far from naïve. At least on some things. He seemed to have a hard time grasping that most mages didn't know their families or the true horrors of living in the tower – with both mages and Templars.

"On a first name basis already?" Cullen teased.

She rolled her eyes. "Just like how I don't like being called the Hero of Ferelden, he much prefers his name as well. We're more than our titles." She gave him a teasing smile. "Don't worry, Commander. I'm still all yours."

He rolled his eyes, but Rayne couldn't help but notice the spark in his eyes as he did so. "You'll use his name, but not mine?"

"Old habit." She said with a shrug.

He shook his head and pushed himself off the wall. "You should break it."

"I'll try." She said honestly.

He began heading towards the door and then stopped. "Oh, there is something I was meaning to give you."

"A gift? So soon?"

He chuckled and went back to her as he reached inside his coat and pulled out a familiar book and handed it to her.

Her eyes widened as she gently took it. "My sketchbook." She said wistfully. The black leather was warm and soft from use. She leafed through the pages and images of faces she had met over the years flashed by. She looked up at him. "How…"

His cheeks turned a light pink in embarrassment and he diverted his eyes. "After the chantry… I went initially to look for Aiden and Alistair to make sure the boy got out of the city. And I…" He cleared his throat. "I felt like I needed something of yours. To keep close. To remember." He looked back at her like he was afraid she was going to reprimand him.

She smiled warmly at him. "Well, I'm glad you did." She said softly.

He nodded and turned back to the door. He just grabbed it to pull it open when she called out to him.

"Thank you… Cullen."

He turned his head side-faced to her. It softened and he smiled.


	8. Cullen

He looked over the map of Ferelden and Orlais thinking about his discussion with Rayne about the Wardens.  _Could_  their disappearance be connected to the Divine's death? If so, what could it be?

He thought back to the look on her face. A mixture of fear and worry. She may not have gotten to know many Wardens since she joined, but Rayne was connected to them all. They were the only ones to truly know what she went through during the Blight and what she seemingly still goes through since. And he knew she worried about those she brought into the fold after the Blight.

Cullen wanted to help anyway he could. But what could he do? He had no connections dealing with the Wardens. The only one he knew was Rayne. And King Alistair, in a sense. He never truly got to know the King, but he had come to the Tower with Rayne when she rescued him from the blood mages and demons. And Cullen had brief words with him at his coronation. A moment that had mixed feelings at the time for him.

At the time Rayne was still going to marry Alistair and become queen. He had been so full of anger that he resented anything having to do with magic. A mage queen? In Ferelden? Blasphemy! And he couldn't understand why no one else was shocked or angry by this. Even the Chantry had been blinded at the time by her heroism that they did not question. But they would, eventually. And she knew that.

The other side of his conflicting emotions: Rayne was getting married. To someone who wasn't him. Buried under all the anger and resentment his love for her was still there. And seeing her, beside a man that looked at her the way he used to, was difficult. And the way she looked at Alistair… Cullen could see the uneasiness in her eyes, but in them was love too. And that was unbearable.

His hand went to a pouch tied to his belt as he was lost in memory.

His mind snapped to attention as voices grew closer to the closed door to the War Room. They were too muffled to make at who they were.

He came to attention as the door was pushed open. Leading the procession was Leliana and behind her was Josephine.

Josephine Montilyet was the Inquisition's Ambassador. She was of a noble family out of Antiva and was a personal friend to Leliana. Before she joined the Inquisition at the behest of their Spymaster, she had served in some of the grandest Thedas royal courts and was very familiar with Orlesian politics. Which came in handy since they were on the border of Ferelden and Orlais.

Cullen would admit that Josephine – or Josie, as Leliana fondly called her – was an attractive, exotic woman. With dusky skin, raven black hair and full lips. But Cullen found he had little in common with her, and couldn't understand how she delighted in dealing with nobles and dignitaries like she did. But he enjoyed working with her. And he couldn't stop the amused smirk that came to his face when he saw her flashy clothing. It seemed so out of place in their current situation.

Behind her were Cassandra, Alec and Rayne.

Cullen's smirk at Josephine slowly slipped from his face as Rayne gave him an amused smile and her eyes ticked to the diplomat. He suppressed a groan. He could only imagine what was going through her head now.

"Having the Herald address the clerics is not a terrible idea." Josephine said with a mixture of an Antivan and Orlesian accent, continuing the conversation they were having. A small candle cast an orange glow on her face from the board she constantly carried around with her that held papers and a small inkwell.

Cullen frowned. He knew what this was about. "You can't be serious." Interjecting himself into the conversation.

Upon his return to Haven, Alec had gained the aid from a revered mother in the Hinterlands that had suggested the Herald meet with the clerics in Val Royeau, the Orlais capital.

Josephine turned her attention to him as both she and Leliana took their respective places by the War Table. She frowned in annoyance that he wasn't agreeing with her. "Mother Giselle isn't wrong: at the moment, the Chantry's only strength is that they are united in opinion."

Cullen sighed in exasperation and rubbed the back of his head and paced a bit.

Rayne went to one of the walls and leaned against it and watched the proceedings. He wondered what she was doing with them all. Not that he was complaining, per-se. He enjoyed having her around. But having her scrutinizing eyes on them all made him feel self-conscious. It wasn't something she was doing intentionally; it was just how she worked. Get all the information and gain an idea of the situation before speaking or acting.

"And we should ignore the danger to the Herald?" Leliana said. Cullen was glad that she was on the same side as his.

Cullen turned to Josephine as she turned on Alec. "Let's ask him." She said rather sweetly. Cullen had the distinct impression she was sweet on their Herald. But she would never admit to it.

The three advisers turned to Alec who had Cassandra at his side.

Alec seemed a little uneasy under so many stares, but Cullen was impressed that he didn't let it get the best of him. He shrugged. "What can they do? It's just talk."

Leliana clasped her hands behind her back. "Don't underestimate the power of their words. An angry mob will do you in just as quickly as a blade."

**Ain't that the truth.**  Cullen thought to himself.

Cassandra stepped forward. "I will go with him." She looked at Leliana. "Mother Giselle said she could provide us names? Use them."

Cullen raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

Leliana wouldn't take it quietly however. "But why?" She said in obvious annoyance. "This is nothing but a –"

Rayne pushed herself off the wall and came closer to the table. "What choice do we have, Leliana?" She asked calmly. "Right now we can't approach anyone for help with the Breach." She turned her eyes to Cullen who couldn't hold her gaze. He turned to Josephine who smirked at him. "Use what influence we have to call the clerics together. Once they are ready, we will see this through."

"You have something in mind?" Alec asked.

Cullen brought his attention back to them.

Rayne smirked at the other mage. "Even if you can't win over the clerics, your voice will be heard. Which can be just as effective."

Cullen frowned. "What do mean?"

Her eyes went to him. "This will plant seeds in each and every cleric there. And not just them, but anyone else in attendance. Nobles, dignitaries, the common folk." She turned back to Alec. "Even gaining one ally will prove beneficial, in one way or another. It will start a grape vine. That one person will always have links to others."

Both Alec and Cullen smiled. She had the right of it. But it still made him feel uneasy sending their one and only hope to a city full of snakes. But with Cassandra and no doubt Varric and Solas there as well, the risk wouldn't be as high.

Alec nodded and turned to Cassandra. "Then I guess we are going to Val Royeau."

Leliana sighed. "Very well. Josephine and I will work with Mother Giselle." She nodded to the Ambassador and the two filed out of the room.

Cassandra and Alec left behind them, leaving him alone with Rayne.

She stood looking over the map, her eyes lingering on Ferelden.

"When was the last time you were in Ferelden before now?" He asked.

Her eyes came up to him. "Since the Blight. I haven't truly been back since."

"For me as well."

"Did you miss it?"

He gave her a lopsided smile. "I was not sorry to leave at the time. But I did miss my family."

She tilted her head causing the strands of her hair to fall into her eyes. "You never talked about them much while at the Circle."

He shrugged. "I didn't think it important at the time."

She nodded and returned her gaze to the table.

A smile came to his face. She knew well enough not to press a topic. She knew  _him_  well enough to know that he would broach the subject if he wanted to. "What about you? Did you miss it?"

She was silent a few heartbeats. "There were a few things I missed about it. But if truth be told, it wasn't the places that I missed. I only saw Ferelden for a year, and it was in the middle of a war. A civil war and a war against darkspawn." She raised her eyes and she smiled warmly at him. "I missed the people."

He smiled at her.

They were staring at each other when Cassandra came back in and cleared her throat.

Cullen was at least able to keep himself from jumping in surprise but he couldn't stop the heat from rising to his face.

Rayne was as composed as ever. She turned to the Seeker, "Yes?"

Cassandra's eyes ticked between the two of them before speaking. "Leliana wishes for you to join them."

She sighed. "Of course she does." She turned to Cullen and bowed her head. "Commander."

Cassandra hung back as Rayne left the room. She turned to Cullen and smirked.

He frowned in annoyance. "What?"

"I guess with her being a mage you need to keep extra vigilance on her."

He gritted his teeth and brought his attention back to the map on the table.


	9. Amell

She sat under a tree leafing through her sketchbook. A sad smile on her face as familiar faces flashed. Some she hadn't seen since the Blight, others dead, and some missing. She wondered if she would ever see any of them again.

Rayne thought that as a sketch of Alistair came up. It was one of her first of him. His hair was still cut short and spiked in the front, a smile of amusement on his clean shaven face. Now, the boy Warden was King. His golden hair was longer; long enough to tie back in a ponytail, a change he had originally done for her. And he now wore a short goatee around his mouth. At least he did four years ago.

She sighed and flipped some more pages. Another picture came forward that made her smile sadly. A sketch of an elderly woman with her long hair in a messy bun. Her face was soft and motherly, she smiled gently.

Wynne. The Circle Senior Enchanter that joined her during the Blight. She had died a year ago. From what Rayne had heard Wynne had been a casualty of White Spire.

Anders blowing up the Chantry in Kirkwall may have been the first ripple into the Mage/Templar War, but things didn't really begin until a year later at White Spire in Val Royeaux.

A mage had attempted to assassinate the Divine, and this brought an already boiling pot that was the Spire to bursting. Mages were being murdered in the tower. These two events gained the attention of the Seekers.

They were like the police of the Templars. When Templars were felt to be corrupted or unable to do their job appropriately, Seekers were brought in to… handle the issue. Whenever a Seeker came, Templars knew something terrible was about to happen.

The Lord Seeker, Seeker Lambert that was sent to the Spire had been even more of a zealot than most. From what Rayne understood, he had been trying to find any reason to invoke the Right of Annulment. A complete purge of the mages in a Circle. She was unsure how much of it was true and how much was just mage propaganda.

All that mattered was the end result: Templars had attacked the First Enchanters that had come to the Spire from all over Thedas to peacefully talk. Those that didn't die to a Templar blade fled. Wynne had died somewhere in there. She had given her life to save a Templar that her estranged son loved.

After all the mages were either dead or missing, Seeker Lambert had taken the Seeker and Templar Order and broke them away from the Chantry and the Divine whom he believed had been covertly supporting the mages. Shortly after, he had been found dead in his bed. Stabbed exactly the same way the murdered mages had been. Mages from all over Thedas convened at Andoral's Reach, Grand Enchanter Fiona had called for a vote – not her first – for separation from the Chantry. And this time she got the result she desired, every mage in Thedas was now an apostate. Thus beginning the Mage-Templar War.

**So much death.** Rayne thought sadly.

As she flipped through more pages a presence near her caught her attention. She lightly shook her head and kept the amused smile on her face. " _Aneth ara, hahren."_  She called out.

The rustling of tree branches greeted her before a lithe form pushed through them. " _Aneth ara."_  Solas said as he approached with surprise etched on his face. "You speak elven?"

Rayne raised her eyes and smirked. "I am full of surprises."

Solas had discarded his armor at Haven, he wore a lite tan long sleeve wool shirt that hung down to his thighs over green cloth breeches. Under the shirt the top of a matching green shirt poked out from underneath near the collar. He wore his typical claw necklace. Rayne was mildly curious as to what it was for. Solas didn't seem the type to wear something that didn't provide a function.

He tilted his head. "So I've noticed."

Rayne chuckled and returned to flipping through her old sketches. Solas had been trying to covertly watch her ever since he had returned from the Hinterlands with Alec. And he had been failing. It was on no fault of his own. Had he been trying to spy on anyone else, he no doubt would have succeeded. But Rayne was too aware of her surroundings.

She finally decided to broach that. "Is there something I can help you with, Solas?" She asked not looking up. "You seem very curious about me, and your lurking around is starting to grow tiresome."

"I haven't…"

She raised her eyes slightly and raised an eyebrow.

He sighed. "All right, yes, I've been… curious about you."

"If you're so curious, the most effective way to get information is to ask. Speaking of which, when do you leave for Val Royeaux?"

"Tomorrow." He said and came closer, allowing him to look down at her. "Did you make those?"

She flipped a few more pages. "I did."

"You're an artist?"

She chuckled. "Not in any professional sense. A hobby. Busy hands and all that." She flipped another page, a new face.

"Is that… the Commander?"

Rayne studied the face on the page. It was one of the few she had drawn while in Kirkwall and it was indeed Cullen. His hair had been shorter than it was now and his curls not tamed and his face didn't have the scar he bore now nor did he look as battle worn. Towards the bottom of the page could be see the top of his Templar armor that he had always worn then.

"It's amazing how much he has changed and how much he hasn't."

"Indeed." She said softly as she flipped another page. This one had a male elf with hair that hung down into his eyes. Eyes that she knew were green, but were black and white on the page.

"You know many elves?" Solas asked.

"I know my fare share."

"Is that where you learned elven?"

She shook her head. "No. I've always known elven."

"Did you have an elven servant or…"

She frowned and looked up at him. "Considering I was in a Circle tower most my life until the Blight, no."

He shrugged. "I was unsure how old you were when your powers manifest."

"Young enough where I didn't have a personal servant."

He bowed his head. "Forgive me. I meant no offense."

She shook her head and flipped her book close and laid it on her lap. "Any other questions?"

"You still haven't quite answered my first."

She raised an eyebrow. "You asked if I spoke elven. I recalled saying yes."

"But where from." He clasped his hands behind his back. "Most – even the Dalish who pride themselves on unearthing as much elven history as they have – mangle the language to some degree. But you, you speak it like you were born to it."

Rayne shrugged. "Perhaps I was? I don't rightfully know."

Solas frowned.

She sighed. "I don't know how I know elven. I just always have."

"That is…"

"Strange?" She offered.

He smirked. "Indeed."

"Any other questions?"

"You're different."

She raised an eyebrow. "Uh, yes?"

"Not a question."

"I'll take it as a compliment then."

Solas tilted his head and studied her for a few moments.

The intensity of his stare began to make her feel uncomfortable.

"I dreamt at Ostagar."

Rayne frowned in initial confusion and then it came to her. "Oh, yes. I heard mention that you were a… Fade-walker. So to speak."

He chuckled. "I don't think I've ever been called that. I rather like it."

"And what did you dream, pray tell?"

"The Battle of Ostagar."

She looked away. "More like the massacre." She turned back to him. "The final assault was far from a battle."

"That is how you see it?"

She frowned. "And how do you see it? Some gallant defense by a king?"

Solas shrugged.

"Would you be surprised to know that Cailan didn't think we were going to be victorious?"

"He knew…"

"He knew we were going to fail at stopping the darkspawn." She interrupted. "He knew there was no way that we would stand against the horde converging on Ostagar. But he was determined to stand and fight. To at least slow them down. He had been working on an alliance with Orlais. So he knew where he would fall, Empress Celene would not. All she needed was a little time. And that was what he was trying to give her." She paused as she thought back to the last time she had seen him. "He had sent Alistair and me out of the majority of the battle."

"You think he sent you to the Tower to keep the two of you alive?"

Rayne shrugged. "I don't know. Cailan knew who Alistair was. Perhaps he wanted to make sure line of succession could be salvaged. But betrayal has a way of messing up any thought out plan."

Solas raised an eyebrow. "Is that why you put an untrained boy on the throne?"

"Have you seen anything bad happen since his ascent?"

"No. But that's not what I asked."

She sighed. "I put Alistair on the throne because  _he_  was what Ferelden needed."

The elf tilted his head.

Rayne thought back to the Landsmeet over a decade ago. At the time she honestly didn't think she would be the one to make the final decision. Because, really, who would listen to a mage of all things when it came to succession to the throne? She was nobody. Had barely been a Grey Warden a year, and here she was; making decisions for nations.

But no. All the nobles deferred to her decision; a mage Grey Warden who had staged a coup to overthrow Loghain as regent and potentially his daughter as queen.

The choice?

Queen Anora, widowed wife of King Cailan. She was unable to bear him any heirs – but if any of the research Rayne had done held any truth, that may not have been completely Anora's fault. She was a political animal. Reveled in dealing with the political nonsense of court, she would have moved swiftly up the ranks of Orlesian court if she had been born there. But she was cold, calculating and Rayne believed out for personal gain. She didn't truly care about the people.

Or Alistair, bastard brother of Cailan. No one knew of Alistair's mother, who she  _truly_  was. And that was a secret that Rayne would take to her grave if necessary; let them believe she was scullery maid from Redcliffe. It was for the best.

He had barely been twenty-one years old by the time of the Landsmeet, and a Grey Warden only six months longer than herself. He despised politics and never wanted the throne; he barely knew his brother and never met his father until years after the Landsmeet. When they had first met, Rayne would never have put someone like him on a throne. He had been slightly gullible and readily deferred to everyone else's decision. Too soft-hearted, cared more about pleasing others and couldn't lead a group out of a wet paper bag let alone a nation.

But the year fighting darkspawn, assassins and truly learning what the world and people were like had changed them both. Alistair became harder. He no longer whined and didn't grow teary eyed over the smallest of things. After meeting the woman he thought was his sister, he began to see people for what they truly were. Something that Rayne helped him learn: people were out for themselves, first and foremost. It was a hard truth, one not easy for him to swallow. But he did. He no longer allowed people to walk over him and he began caring about what he wanted and what made him happy.

Oh, he still cared about people. He still kept pieces of the Alistair she had first met. But he sharpened that Alistair. As much as it pained Rayne to watch that transformation from a light-hearted boy to a sharp man, it was the best in the end. He was a better man, but he was able to keep the Alistair that she fell in love with. Even if it was because of the man he became that eventually tore them apart, he was better for it.

The choice was clear. Alistair would take his father's throne. He was compassionate and truly cared for the people and the nation. Ferelden needed to heal, and Alistair cared enough that it would be done. He had a lot to learn when dealing with politics and nobles, but that would come with time. Rayne believed he would do just fine.

And he did. Healing Ferelden had taken time, it was still healing. But Alistair did and was still doing all he could. The people loved him. He was a Hero of the Fifth Blight; he fought alongside the Hero of Ferelden and helped slay the archdemon that had devastated their country with its darkspawn army for over a year. Which was why so many were willing to overlook the fact that he wanted to make a mage a queen. At least they would for a while; Rayne still believed they would eventually turn on that idea. She may have just saved them all, but she was a mage first and foremost.

Alistair had not believed that. He still didn't.

Rayne's mind came back to the present and her eyes focused on the elf in front of her. She jumped.

Solas had moved, he now knelt in front of her. Close enough that she could feel the warmth from his body and feel the air shift as he breathed. He stared intently into her eyes with his head tilted to one side.

She frowned when he continued to stare. "Can I help you?"

"You were lost in thought."

"You're as perceptive as you are bald." She said dryly.

He smirked and stood. "Anything interesting coming to mind?"

**Other than wanting to slap that smirk from your face?**  She thought to herself. "Just old memories."

Solas studied her, his blue eyes bore into her. He pursed his lips in thought.

The uncomfortable uneasiness grew in her belly. "Anything else?"

"Hmm." He tilted his head and then smiled. "Not right now. No doubt I will continue my investigation into you."

"Investigation?"

"There is…" He paused as if trying to find the right words. "Something about you. I feel a pull."

Rayne raised an eyebrow. "If that was your attempt at hitting on me. You need more practice with women."

Solas chuckled. "Beautiful as you may be, you're not my type, dear Warden."

"Oh?"

He smirked and turned and began heading back to Haven. "You're missing pointy ears."

She shook her head as his form dwindled.

I large form silently approached her from the shadows and licked her cheek with a sandpaper tongue.

Rayne scratched Elgar under the chin as the lion tuned to the retreating form of the elf. "Duly noted." She said quietly. She looked to her saber, "Ready to return?"

Elgar's response was a massive yawn.

She stood and brushed off the dirt on her breeches and began her walk back to Haven.

Near the stables a small form rushed to her.

Panic etched Aiden's features. " _Mamae!"_

Rayne frowned. "What is it?"

"It's the mages and Templars!" He skidded to a halt in front of her and gasped for breath. "Outside the Chantry! They're about to come to blows!"

Rayne sneered. "Get Elgar to the stables." She ordered and rushed to the Chantry.

It was as Aiden said. Outside the doors to the Chantry was a group of Templars and a group of mages on either side of each other nearly nose-to-nose. A group was growing around the conflict causing Rayne to have to push her way through.

"Your kind killed the Most Holy!" The leading Templar yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the mages.

**Shit.**  Rayne thought to herself. "Move." She growled to a man who had refused to move.

He turned with anger on his face until he saw hers. Either her anger was far scarier and he didn't want to go against it, or he recognized her face. Either way he moved quickly.

The leading mage – an elderly, balding man – took a threatening step towards the Templar with staff in hand. "Lies – your kind let her die!" He snarled.

The Templar's face reddened and he reached for his blade at his side.

The mage saw this and readied his own attack or defense.

Rayne finally pushed through the crowd and rushed to the mage, a spell forming in her hand.

The Templar drew his blade. "Shut your mouth, mage!"

Rayne threw her spell into the face of the mage as he began to cast. Her spell lit up in a bright violet flash blinding the mage and causing him to stagger back. Movement from the corner of her eye caught her attention.

Cullen pushed the Templar back and came to Rayne's side. The two of them acted as a barrier between the mages and Templars. "Enough!" He yelled.

"Knight-Captain!" The Templar began.

Rayne kept her eyes on the mage in front of her that glared knives at her interference, but she felt Cullen shift behind her.

"That is not my title." He growled. "We are  _not_  Templars any longer." Rayne saw his hand as he pointed to the mages. "We are  _all_  part of the Inquisition!"

The leading mage at least had the decency to look ashamed and backed away a step and lowered his staff.

Rayne took a deep breath relaxing herself and turned away.

"And what does that mean, exactly?" Came a new voice.

She sneered at the approaching form in the crowd.

Chancellor Roderick had been a constant thorn in the Inquisition's side since the Temple of Sacred Ashes was destroyed. According to Leliana he had even tried to keep them from even attempting to close the Breach the first time around. He had been demanding the Herald of Andraste be taken to the capital to stand trial for the murder of the Divine. It didn't matter than Alec may not have had anything to do with it. He was the loudest, and most annoying current voice against the Inquisition.

He was an elderly man who wore a robe of white and red with a few golden embellishments to signify his rank as Chancellor. He was nothing but a bureaucrat and posed no real threat on his own. But if he got enough supporters…

Cullen's face matched her own. "Back already, Chancellor? Haven't you done enough?"

Rayne shifted to be closer to Cullen's side. To show her – a mage – support of a Templar and her commander. To show a unified front.

Roderick sniffed her direction but otherwise didn't acknowledge her. He kept his attention on Cullen. "I'm curious, Commander, as to how your Inquisition and its "Herald" will restore order as you've promised."

"Of course you are." Cullen said in annoyance. His eyes went to the crowd that had still not dispersed. "Back to your duties, all of you!"

The crowd hesitantly began to move away, most wanting to stay for whatever was going to transpire. But all of them would follow the command. They had enough respect for their Commander to do that much at least.

Rayne shook her head and clasped her hands behind her back. She would allow Cullen to handle the Chancellor but would remain for support. But another form caught her attention.

Alec approached slowly as if unsure if he should interfere.

She motioned to him to come forward. People needed to see him as an authority figure.

He came to her side.

"Mages and Templars were already at war. Now they're blaming each other for the Divine's death." Cullen said to the Chancellor.

"Which is why we require a  _proper_  authority to guide them back to order." Roderick said.

Rayne couldn't suppress the bark of laughter that escaped her.

Cullen slightly turned his head enough to her for her to see his lips twitch in a smirk of amusement.

The Chancellor was less amused. He turned and sneered at her.

Cullen turned his attention back to the Chancellor as if nothing occurred. "Who, you? Clerics who weren't important enough to be at the Conclave?"

"The rebel Inquisition and its so-called "Herald of Andraste"? I think not."

Alec frowned. "I don't know, the Inquisition seems about as functional as any young family."

Roderick finally acknowledged Alec. "How many families are on the verge of splitting into open warfare with themselves?"

Cullen scoffed. "Yes, because that would never happen to the Chantry." He said sarcastically.

Roderick glared at him. "Centuries of tradition will guide us. We are not the upstart, eager to turn over every apple cart."

Rayne sighed in annoyance. This is why she stayed out of politics; she didn't have the patience for it. She turned to Cullen. "Remind me why you're allowing the Chancellor to stay?"

"Clearly your  _Templar_  knows where to draw the line." Roderick said as response.

"He's toothless." Cullen growled through clenched teeth. "There's no point turning him into a martyr simply because he runs at the mouth. The Chancellor's a good indicator of what to expect in Val Royeaux, however."

She sighed again.

"How widespread is the violence between mages and Templars?" Alec asked.

Cullen's eyes ticked over to him. "Impossible to say."

"Your organization floating the Chantry's authority will not help matters." Roderick snapped.

Rayne could see Cullen's jaw clench which told her he was growing impatient. "With the Conclave destroyed, I imagine the war between the mages and the Templars has renewed. With interest."

Alec shook his head. "The mages and Templars are fighting even though we don't know what really happened at the Temple of Sacred Ashes?"

**Some angers and hatred run deep** _._  Rayne thought to herself.

"Exactly why all this should be left to a new Divine." Roderick said. "If you are innocent, the Chantry will establish it as so."

Rayne laughed. "Or will be happy to use someone as a scapegoat."

He glared at her. "You think nobody cares about the truth? We all grieve Justinia's loss."

"Truth? Whose truth I wonder?" She crossed her arms.

"You won't grieve if the Herald of Andraste is conveniently swept under a carpet." Cullen said matching her stance.

"Well, let's hope we find solutions, and not a Cathedral full of Chancellors." Alec quipped.

Cullen and Rayne smirked in amusement.

"The stuff of nightmares." Cullen said.

"Mock if you will." The Chancellor said and turned to leave. "I'm certain the Maker is less amused." And with that he left.

The three of them watched the Chancellor, making sure the old man didn't decide to come back to cause another ruckus.

Rayne sighed.

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck.

"You both did well." Alec said to them with a smile on his face. "Diffusing the situation as quickly as you did without bloodshed."

Rayne merely shrugged. "Had to do something. Last thing we need is to start fracturing." She frowned. "Well, fracturing more."

Cullen shook his head. "We need to remind everyone that we are not different groups just standing under a common banner."

She smiled at him. "That they are the Inquisition."

He nodded. "I'll think on it."

"If you need help."

"You'll be the first I come to." He said with a smile.

She smiled back at him.

"You two are adorable." Alec teased.

Cullen's cheeks flushed and he diverted his gaze.

Rayne simply shook her head.

"If you two will excuse me, I have some business with our Ambassador." Alec nodded to them and entered the Chantry.

Rayne watched him go.

"Thank you, by the way." Cullen said.

She turned to him. "For what?"

"Helping with the mages and Templars." He smiled warmly. "It's nice knowing someone has my back and is willing to throw themselves in the line of fire like I do."

She smiled at him. "You know you can come to me if you need help. That's what I'm here for."

Cullen chuckled. "I just know how you feel about being put in an authority position."

She scrunched her nose. "As long as I'm not leading this thing I'll be fine."

"Would that be so terrible?" He asked in amusement.

"Because I did so well during the Blight?"

Cullen's amused smile fell from his face. "You can't still feel that way."

It was an old argument. One neither was willing to back down from. There were choices she had to make during the Blight that still haunted her. Screams of the dead, dying and those she condemned still haunted her. She once said that during war every commander needs to make the hard choices. It's whether they can live with those choices or not that define if they were right. What did that say about her that her choices still haunted her ten years after the fact?

When she didn't answer Cullen turned fully to her and gently touched her arm. "The dead don't hold grudges, Rayne." He said softly.

She looked at him and her lips twitched in amusement. "That we know of." She took a deep breath and grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze of reassurance. "Ah, never mind that. We have more pressing concerns."

He searched her face a moment before finally nodding and releasing her arm from his touch.

"Now that the immediate situation is diffused," She stretched. "I'm going to go do some equipment management of my own." She turned and waved over her shoulder.

"Very well, Captain." Cullen called.

That stopped her in her tracks and she whipped around. "What?"

He smirked and entered the Chantry.

Rayne groaned.  **Well, could be worse.**  She thought to herself.


	10. Amell

"Mistress?"

Rayne raised her gaze from the throwing knife in her hand that she had been sharpening.

Standing in front of her was an elven woman in green and brown leathers and a bow strapped to her back. Dark red tattoos covered her face – called  _vallaslin_  – marking her as Dalish.

_"_ _Andaran atish'an."_  Rayne said as greeting as she stood. "What may I do for you?"

"You are Warden Commander Rayne, are you not?" The woman said in accented tones common among the Ferelden Dalish clans.

"I am."

The elf pulled a pack from her back and rifled through. "I was tasked with bringing you this missive." She stood and handed Rayne parchments bound in string.

Rayne frowned but took the documents. She turned them until a familiar wax sigil of a griffon and tree caught her eye. She brought her gaze back to the messenger. "You are not the usual courier."

The elf shook her head. " _Nae._  Ralo was tasked by our Keeper to head north. But he wanted to ensure that you received this."

"Thank Ralo for me. And thank you as well."

The woman bowed her head.

"Would you like to stay for the evening? Get some rest before continuing on your journeys?"

_"_ _Ma serannas._  But no." She picked up her pack and threw it over her shoulder. She looked around and sneered. "Being around so many  _shemlen_  is…"

"Unsettling?" Rayne offered.

She nodded.

"Very well.  _Dareth shiral."_

"May the Dread Wold never catch your scent." And with that, the elf turned and began her trek down the mountain.

Rayne was about to go to her quarters to look over the reports when a voice drawing closer caught her attention and made her turn to see Cullen and Leliana.

Cullen's face was screwed in a look of anger. "Have they completely lost their senses?"

Leliana shook her head and turned to Rayne once they were close enough. "Who was that?"

She blinked at the spymaster a few times before realizing who she was talking about. "Oh. A Dalish courier. Nothing for the Inquisition to worry about." She looked between the two. "What's going on?"

Cullen sighed. "The Templars have all gone mad."

Rayne smirked. "This is news?" She teased.

He frowned. "I'm serious."

"It seems the clerics at Val Royeaux had thought the Templars had come back into the fold. They were mistaken."

"This has to do with the meeting with Alec and the clerics?" Alec, Cassandra, Solas and Varric had been gone five days for their journey to the capital.

Cullen nodded. "The Lord Seeker had just come to put on a display it seems."

"Display?"

"How he and apparently all the other Templars under his command truly feel about the Chantry and the Inquisition."

Rayne folded her arms over her chest. "Something tells me it wasn't high praise."

Leliana shook her head. "He has taken the Templars out of the city after assaulting one of the clerics."

"Do we know where?"

"Not yet."

Rayne sighed. "We're off to a wonderful start it seems." She said dryly.

Leliana smirked. "We've done more with less as I recall."

"I suppose you're right." She tilted her head. "And The Herald?"

"He will be returning to Haven as soon as he visits a few potential allies."

"Such as?"

Leliana shrugged. "One is unknown. But from what my contacts tell me, it is potentially a Red Jenny."

Rayne frowned in thought. "Red Jenny?" She thought a moment and murmured, "Why does that sound familiar?"

"We did a job for them, did we not?"

Yes, that was it. A delivery. "And the other?"

"Madame de Fer." Leliana said with a smirk.

"Someone I should know?"

Cullen sighed. "Her real name is Enchanter Vivienne. She is… was personal enchanter and adviser to Empress Celene."

"Was?"

Leliana shifted uncomfortably. "She was replaced some time ago by an apostate who convinced Celene that her occult knowledge was vastly more beneficial than anything Vivienne could provide. Celene is fascinated by it, especially seeing into the future, speaking with the dead, and other such rubbish."

Rayne snorted. "Sounds exactly the type of person I want leading my country." She said dryly.

Cullen's lip twitched into a smirk.

Leliana shook her head. "Be careful who hears that. We have devout Orlesians and Celene supporters here."

Rayne gave her a deadpan stare. "So?"

"Having someone, a Fereldan no-less, say such a thing about their beloved Empress. It could cause problems."

"For you or for me?"

"You." Leliana said getting annoyed by her lofty attitude.

"I'll say again… so?"

The Spymaster threw up her arms in exasperation and spun on her heel, leaving Rayne and Cullen to watch her go with amused smirks on their faces.

Cullen turned to her. "You should be careful though. Last thing we need is a mob on you."

"Well, at least it would give them a common cause." She quipped.

"Not all of us are as keen as you are to have you be attacked." He said seriously.

"Hmm, I doubt I could handle that many at once anyway." She had meant it as a sexual innuendo, but Cullen had clearly not seen that.

His eyes flared. "You wouldn't be alone in that fight."

She smiled at him. "As brave as that is I doubt just the two of us would be able to take them all either."

"Perhaps. But we'd give them one helluva fight."

Rayne thought a moment. "We've never actually fought together, have we?"

Cullen tilted his head. "Fought together as comrades in arms? No, I don't believe so. We've dueled each other though."

"That has been a very long time. No doubt we've both picked up new skills since."

He smirked. "We'll have to test that some time.

* * *

A day before Alec returned to Haven with Madame Vivienne in company, the Inquisition's newest member arrived.

Her name was Sera. An elf who would not reveal where she originally was from, but her accent was most definitely Ferelden. Since she bore no  _vallaslin_  Rayne figured she had to have come from the Alienage in Denerim. But didn't press the issue, even though she was curious how a Ferelden Red Jenny had ended up in the Orlais capital. Truth be told, Sera annoyed her.

She had sandy blonde hair that had a horrendous hair cut that looked like she had taken a dull knife to it to cut around her head. She had dark blue-gray eyes and tanned skin speckled with freckles.

Within the first few hours of Sera's arrival, it was made perfectly clear that she didn't consider herself an elf. In truth she despised the "elfy elves", claiming they all whined too much and cared too much about their history. And trying to follow her line of thought was a headache; she made no sense most the time. She was chaotic and unpredictable, constantly pulling pranks on people. She tried to justify the pranks as helping the people not be so gloom and doom.

There wasn't much Rayne could do for the others in the Inquisition that fell prey to her antics. But when Sera had attempted a prank on her, Rayne had made it painfully clear it was to never happen again. Judging by the fear in the elf's eyes, she took the warning to heart.

The only compliment Rayne could give her was that she was a fiend with a bow.

The next day Alec arrived with his group and Vivienne.

Rayne didn't know who she disliked more once she was introduced to the Enchanter. Sera or Vivienne.

Vivienne was a tall lovely woman with ebony skin, thick lips and dark brown eyes. Her skin was smooth as alabaster, no wrinkles or blemishes even though to Rayne she seemed that she was far older than her appearance said. She dressed in the typical Orlesian fashion: high end silk robes that she diligently worked to keep immaculate in vibrant colors that offended the senses with gold and silver embellishments. She wore a tall hat that looks like horns.

Just like Josephine, Vivienne looked like she didn't belong there. But at least Josephine's job wasn't to be a fighter out in the field unlike the Enchanter. Rayne wondered just how sheltered she was. She had not technically been in a Circle tower in ages. She was a paramour to Duke Bastien de Ghislain, the head of Orlais' Council of Heralds. Because of that position she lived at court and had as much freedom as her heart desired. And with that position also came the condescending attitude.

It didn't take the former First Enchanter long to begin her tirade of problems with Haven and the people there. She had a noble's outlook on everything, looking down on everyone and everything else. Vivienne had initially been thrilled with meeting Rayne, a fellow Circle mage. It didn't matter to Vivienne that Rayne hadn't seen the inside of a tower in over a decade and by all accounts wasn't considered a Circle mage any longer; she was no longer bound to the Chantry's laws or that of the Templars.

But when it became abundantly clear that Rayne didn't share Vivienne's precise views on mages, apostates, the Templars and the Circle, her attitude towards the mage Warden did a complete reversal. Vivienne now viewed Rayne as no better than Solas. Which from what she gathered from Alec, wasn't a very high opinion.

So be it. Vivienne's ego and condescending nature was not something Rayne wanted to be around. She had joked with Leliana that if Vivienne's nose was turned up any higher she would drown when it rained. So she had 'helpfully' suggested that the Enchanter not be taken to Ferelden since it seemed to constantly be raining.

Alec had been amused. Leliana less so. And Josephine, appalled. Their ambassador was quickly learning that the political game was not one Rayne played and refused to play. One of the many reasons her near queenship had seemed a disaster.

But Josephine had been quick to send out letters and made sure they were given to the quickest birds and couriers. Even after a short two weeks, missives were returning with words of joy or hesitancy. Some were quick to accept the news of Rayne's return, especially those in Ferelden and the Free Marches – especially Kirkwall. Others, most primarily in Orlais, weren't as joyous in their responses and were skeptical. Rayne couldn't blame them. After all, she had been considered dead for nearly four years and had been in the heart of one of the most massive magical attacks in recent history – well, other than the Breach.

Some Fereldans had taken the news as some great Divine intervention. That perhaps the Maker himself saved her from Anders and his insane attack. Or that she had been resurrected to combat the evils now plaguing Thedas alongside the Herald. It was the most ridiculous thing Rayne had ever heard. But Josephine had used it to their advantage. They gained a lot of Fereldan support with the announcement of the Herald of Andraste and the Hero of Ferelden fighting the Breach.

If it aided the Inquisition, Rayne was willing to swallow down her annoyance. Taking one for the team so to speak.

Rayne stood outside the Chantry, leaning against the outer wall watching the quartermaster. Leliana had gently warned Quartermaster Threnn to steer clear of Rayne, seeing that Threnn was very vocal in her opinion that Loghain was the greatest General to ever grace Thedas and had not betrayed Cailan or anyone else – since she was at Ostagar, she  _knew_. That the Wardens had made everyone turn on him at the Landsmeet.

She remembered something Irving had once told her:  ** _There are three sides to every story: Your side, my side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each differently._**

Rayne came out of her thoughts about the First Enchanter when she saw a new face walking towards the Chantry.

She frowned as she studied this person. It was a woman, but was obvious that she worked hard not to look like one. She wore her dark brown hair in a similar style as Alec's, heavy armor covered her body disguising any kind of figure she may have had. Her face was set in a frown of annoyance as she scanned the area with her light brown eyes.

Rayne pushed herself off the wall she had been leaning against. "Can I help you?"

The woman turned to her and a look of relief came into her – his? – eyes. He came closer. "I've got a message for the Inquisition, but I'm having a hard time getting anyone to talk to me."

"Who are you solider?"

He stood a bit straighter. "Cremisius Aclassi, with the Bull's Chargers mercenary company. We mostly work out of Orlais and Nevarra. We got word of some Tevinter mercenaries gathering on the Storm Coast."

Alec came up behind her, studying this new soldier.

Cremisius' eyes ticked over to Alec briefly before turning back to Rayne. "My company commander, Iron Bull, offers the information free of charge. If you'd like to see what the Bull's Chargers can do for the Inquisition, meet us there and watch us work."

Rayne frowned. "What should we know about your commander?"

He tilted his head. "Iron Bull? He's one of those Qunari. The big guys with the horns?"

She had mixed feelings about Qunari, but nodded.

"He leads from the front, he pays well, and he's a lot smarter than the last bastard I worked for. Best of all, he's professional. We accept contracts with whoever makes the first real offer." He smirked. "You're the first time he's gone out of his way to pick a side."

**That's… comforting?**  She thought to herself.

"What can your Bull's Chargers offer the Inquisition?" Alec finally spoke.

Cremisius turned his attention to Alec. "We're loyal, we're tough. And we don't break contracts. Ask around Val Royeaux. We've got references."

Alec frowned. "Why did your commander send us this information?"

"Iron Bull wants to work for the Inquisition. He thinks you're going good work."

This caught Alec off guard. The mage didn't think he had done anything worthwhile. It didn't matter that the refugees in the Hinterlands practically worshipped him now, and he wasn't even finished helping the area. Word was spreading quickly of all the good he has done and hope followed.

He turned to Rayne and gave her a questioning look. She shrugged.

"We'll consider your offer." He finally said to Cremisius. Alec knew that in the end, he didn't really have final say in the matter. They were after all a merc company. That would mean funds to pay them, and that was Josephine's department.

Cremisius nodded. "I appreciate it. We're the best you'll find. Come to the Storm Coast and you can see us in action." With that he saluted and left.

"What do you think?" Alec asked?

She shrugged again. "Can't hurt I guess to go take a look." She gave him a sidelong glance. "You may want to go to the Storm Coast regardless."

"Why?"

"Some activity on the Coast, including Grey Warden activity according to some news I have. I don't know what to make of it yet. Also, Leliana had some reports of trouble for our forward scouts. Unsure of what though."

"Hmm." He thought a few moments and then finally nodded. "I want to go to the Hinterlands first, check out that other Grey Warden lead; he might be able to tell me more of what is happening on the Coast. From there, I will go to the Coast. See these Bull's Chargers in action."

Rayne nodded. "A sound plan. You may want to inform the others of it." She frowned. "Cremisius Aclassi… sounds Tevinter."

"You think it might be a trap?"

"Hmm. I doubt it. Kind of a lousy trap telling us about the Tevinter mercenaries beforehand."

"Maybe they just don't expect us to come with a fighting force?" He offered.

"I doubt it. The Inquisition may not be a lot right now, but Cremisius saw that we could fight and have enough to storm the Coast if need be. If you can hire on these mercs, all the better."

Alec nodded and looked around. "Settling in well?"

She shrugged. "I'm not used to being in a simple advisory position. I'm used to be out fighting."

He grinned at her. "You can always decide to come join me out on the field."

She chuckled. "As much as I'm not used to this, it's better in the long run. Allows me to keep Aiden out of harm's way and to continue my investigation."

"Investigation?"

Rayne was silent. "It's of no importance. If it ends up being of any relevance to the Inquisition, you will be one of the first to know."

Alec frowned but nodded. "Have you ever thought of sending Aiden to be with his father?" He blanched. "That is… if he's not… uh."

She smirked. "He's not dead. Aiden just prefers to be with me." She looked away. "After living a life where everything was dictated for me, I promised I would never force my son to do something he didn't want."

"Which is why you taught him to fight?"

She nodded. "I figured if he was going to be out with me getting into Maker only knows what kind of trouble, he should know how to help defend himself. Not that I could have stopped him even if I didn't want him to learn so young." She smiled at the memory. "He was constantly finding a way of finding my blades. I finally had to teach him just so he wouldn't hurt himself."

"He is impressive."

"That he is." She turned to him, changing the conversation. "I heard about Grand Enchanter Fiona in the Capital. Will you be taking her up on her offer?"

Alec frowned. "If you mean if I decided to get the mages aid over the Templars, the answer is I haven't decided. Something strange is going on with both groups."

She nodded, glad that he noticed as well. "I agree."

"But, I will go to Redcliffe to see what is going on."

"May I join you when you go?" Rayne asked.

Alec smiled. "I was wondering when you were going to ask." He nodded. "Of course. Just should probably let the others know. I will be going there when I go to the Hinterlands to find this Warden Blackwall."

She smiled at him. "Thank you. I worry about Redcliffe." She couldn't help but think of Teagan.

He had been made Arl of Redcliffe after the Blight. Taking over for Eamon when he decided to stay at court to help Alistair. Rayne felt that was a mixed blessing.

Teagan was a good man, honorable and kind. The people of Redcliffe loved him after he stood in defense of the town during the Blight. That was when and where he and she had first met. And when Rayne learned the truth of whom Alistair's father was. When Rayne and Teagan had first met, she had been a big flirt and she could tell he liked what he saw with her. It didn't matter that she was a mage. But he was too honorable to simply jump on the chance. Rayne could tell during their time in Redcliffe and after that he was mustering the courage to start courting her. Especially after seeing her defend the town and how much she cared. She had won over his heart.

Rayne couldn't help but think how many problems she could have averted if she had pursued his advancements instead of continuing a relationship with a prince.

Eamon on the other hand…

He was an honorable man, in his own way. He hadn't hesitated to help her and Alistair in building an army to not only fight the darkspawn but work against Loghain. It had been his idea to put Alistair on the throne. And the fact that he knew the ins-and-outs of court and working with the nobles, he seemed like a good person for Alistair to learn from. No matter how noble his intent seemed, Rayne couldn't help but wonder at the time if he had only wanted Alistair on the throne because he had wanted a puppet. Eamon came off as a man who had his own agenda. In the end it didn't matter.

By the time Alistair reached the throne he was no longer the obedient boy that Eamon had once known and had refused to roll over and do what he was told. Such as marrying a mage.

Rayne still remembered Eamon's words the day of Alistair's coronation. The gall that he thought he would forbid her to do something had angered her. But she had understood his intent. He knew just as she did no one would agree to a mage queen. It would cause another war. One that Ferelden didn't need, especially so soon after the Blight. The Mage-Templar War that bled into Ferelden had even been too soon, and that had been nearly eight years after the Blight.

Thinking about Alistair made he wonder if he received the missive about her joining the Inquisition. She wondered how that was going to come back and bite her in the ass. Or the Inquisition's ass.

"When will you be leaving?" She finally asked.

"Day after tomorrow." Alec replied, unaware of her thoughts.

She nodded. "Alright. I need to go make arrangements for Aiden to be looked after while I'm gone then."

* * *

"Do you think that wise?" Cullen asked looking up from a missive that a runner had brought him. The runner still stood at the tent entrance waiting.

Rayen shrugged. "Why wouldn't it be?"

He frowned and motioned to the runner. "Tell Sister Leliana that only a handful of soldiers should be stationed in the south, and await The Herald there."

The runner nodded and left quickly to deliver the message.

He brought his attention back to her. "Going alone, traversing the Hinterlands. That doesn't sound the slightest bit dangerous to you?"

Rayne raised an eyebrow. "Truthfully one lone mage can go undetected more easily than being in a group."

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck. "You could be falsely accused of being an apostate."

"I am." She said dryly.

He sighed in annoyance. "There is a difference in being an apostate and a rebel mage."

"I know." She said deadpan. "And I am an apostate."

He simply stared at her.

"I'm a Grey Warden, Cullen. I haven't technically been a Circle Mage in over a decade."

He rolled his eyes. "If you're going to go into technicalities you're not an apostate then."

She shrugged.

"Rayne, there are still rogue Templars that won't hesitate to kill a mage wandering the country side."

"They will do that no matter if I was a rebel or an apostate. And probably even if I was wearing Warden colors. A mage is a mage, doesn't matter their affiliation."

"That's exactly my point!" He exclaimed in exasperation.

She crossed her arms. "I have been doing quite a bit of traveling over the last few years. And I've done fine protecting myself and Aiden."

Cullen clenched his jaw and shook his head. He turned away grumbling under his breath as he went to a table littered with papers and maps. He leaned over it, bracing himself against it. "Fine." He finally snapped. "Do what you wish. You always do anyway."

Rayne quirked an eyebrow. "I'm sorry? Are you channeling Leliana now?"

He took a deep breath and slowly released it, releasing the tension in his shoulders. He shook his head. "No." he said in a rather defeated voice. He finally looked up and gave her a lopsided smile. "I'm sorry. I know you're perfectly capable of keeping yourself safe. You've been doing it for years."

"Thanks for noticing." She teased.

He stood and rapped a knuckle against the table. "I can't help but worry, Rayne."

She tilted her head waiting.

When he saw that she was expecting him to continue he sighed. "I thought we lost you once." He scoffed. "More than once if truth be told. I just don't want to take the chance that it may actually happen. You're too important."

It was her turn to scoff. "I'm that  _that_  important."

"You are to some people." He said softly.

Unable to find a response she simply diverted her gaze.

After a few moments of silence, Cullen finally broke it. "As I said." He said in a heavy tone. "Do what you will. I know you won't be able to sit still until you confirm for yourself what is going on in Redcliffe." The last he said in amusement.

Rayne brought back her eyes and smirked. "It's why people love me." She joked.

He gave her a warm smile. "I'm sure there are other reasons."

She felt the heat coming to her cheeks and she cleared her throat. "So, will you watch over Aiden for me?"

He nodded. "Of course."


	11. Amell/Trevelyan

Aiden hadn't been thrilled with being left behind. But he swore he would stay with Cullen.

Rayne walked up the road to Redcliffe. She figured she would wait outside the village as she waited for Alec and the others to arrive. No matter her attitude in traveling the countryside alone, she didn't like going into an unknown situation alone.

As she walked she couldn't help but think back to her and Cullen's conversation. She had mixed feelings on his protectiveness. On one side she didn't like others thinking she had to be protected or coddled. On the other, she was touched by his protectiveness. And she couldn't help but wonder if there were more feelings behind it.

She immediately shook her head at the thought. After everything that happened during the Blight and then Kirkwall, she understood his feelings on mages. He could see a friend, nothing more. Which could actually work to her advantage if she ever pursued it.

Her thoughts were ripped back to the present as the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. She looked up and found a glowing green rift in front of the main gate into Redcliffe. One soldier was near fighting off a demon while a few archers on the ramparts rained arrows down on more.

Rayne knew it was a losing battle. Demons would continue to pour through, whereas those fighting them would eventually tire. What they needed was someone to close the rift. And that someone was hunting down a Grey Warden on the other side of the Hinterlands.

Groaning, she materialized her staff in her hand and ran in to aid the soldier on the ground. She just hoped they could hold off the demons long enough until Alec arrived.

* * *

* * *

Alec gave another sidelong look to the man that walked beside him.

Blackwall was a grizzly of a man. A weathered face covered in a full black beard to match his black unruly medium length hair. Alec couldn't tell if his girth came from the armor that was emblazoned with griffons and padding he wore. No matter his size or the amount of hair, he carried himself like a true soldier. He was swift to act, gathering enemies around him to keep them off of the rest of the group. His blue eyes were sharp and constantly moving to find any threat.

Alec was slightly disappointed. Blackwall didn't know anything about the disappearance of the Grey Wardens. According to Blackwall, he had been on his own for months recruiting and had planned on being that way for quite some time. As such he hadn't heard anything from the Wardens. He did deny the Wardens involvement with the death of the Divine, quite adamantly. Alec had thought as much, but he had still asked. Blackwall had taken it as a personal slight.

In the end the lone Warden offered his assistance to the Inquisition.

Alec hid a smirk as he thought to the conversation.

"We can use all the help we can get. But what can one lone Grey Warden do?"

Blackwall smirked. "Save the fucking world if pressed." His voice was distinctly from the Free Marches.

And they were true words. Alec had immediately thought of Rayne, and no doubt Blackwall was too or any of the other Warden legends. Alec mused about how Blackwall would react to Rayne's presence in the Inquisition. He hadn't told him about her, eager to see his reaction when they met. If Blackwall hadn't been in contact with anyone for months, he no doubt still believed Rayne still dead.

Alec was so caught up in his amused thoughts that he didn't notice anything amiss until he caught Blackwall going rigged and tugged off the shield on his back.

He looked around. "What is it?" He asked.

Blackwall's eyes narrowed. "Don't know. Something up ahead."

 **Right near Redcliffe** _._  Alec thought. He drew his weapon and heard Solas and Varric doing the same.

They slowly drew closer until they heard grunts and the sound of something screeching in pain.

They darted for the area.

Alec stopped and gapped a few moments taking in the scene.

A soldier was fending off a rage demon that had just spawned out of the rift in front of them. Arrows were raining down from the ramparts. Rayne twirled around claws and teeth, stabbing and casting spells killing demons all around her.

And then he noticed the rift itself. It seemed like any other rift, except this one was altered. He felt it. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but it was altered in a way he wasn't familiar with.

But then his eyes widened as he noticed as two demons came out of the rift at once and each got caught in smaller rifts. The rifts themselves disappeared inside of the demons. One demon seemed to almost be frozen, while the other had super speed. Moving so fast he couldn't warn Rayne in time.

But she wasn't taken by surprise.

She spun around slashing with her staff, cleaving the demon in two. Her eyes fell on him. "Mind helping?"

He jumped and began casting.

Blackwall cried out in challenge, instantly gaining the attention of most the demons. A silvery blue sheen spread across his body indicating Solas had cast a shield spell.

A small arrow darted past Alec's face and hit a demon dead on as it charged at the warrior.

The hairs on the back of Alec's neck rose as he murmured words of power. The sensation of his mind opening up his link to the Fade that was as familiar to him as breathing. And with the euphoria of magic filling his being came with the sinister whispers in the back of his mind as demons immediately tried to tempt him. But this was old hat for him; he easily pushed the demon's voices away. Electricity coursed up and down his arms, causing the hair to stand up on end.

He spun around his staff, electricity coursing at the top gem. With a cry he stabbed the ground with his staff. Lightning shot out of his hand hitting a terror demon that had been screeching in the hopes of paralyzing those near. The lightning hit the demon head on.

Alec watched as he was briefly able to make out the demons skeleton as the electricity coursed through its body, briefly paralyzing the demon and its wail. Allowing Blackwall to cut it down.

The fight continued in a similar manner. But Alec was unable to tell if it was going quickly. He usually had a good idea how fast a fight went.

But finally all the demons were cleared.

He tapped into the mark in his hand and thrust his hand towards the rift.

Immediately energy came snaking out of his hand and into the rift. He felt the now familiar pull of the rift as it tried to remain open and send more demons through. Gritting his teeth and with a grunt he pulled back.

With a sound like low thunder, the rift closed. Leaving only the bodies of demons and the smell of ozone to show that it had even once been there.

"I wondered how that thing worked."

Alec turned to an approaching Rayne.

She was flustered and a wound on her face was already healing.

"How what worked?" He asked.

She nodded at where the rift once was. "Sealing rifts. Your glowing hand comes in handy." She sighed and ran a hand through her sweaty hair. Her nose scrunched up as she did. "Ugh."

"How long have you been fighting them off?" Alec asked and handed her his water skin.

She took it with a nod of thanks and took two big draws of water before handing it back. "To be honest? It's hard to know." She shook her head. "This rift…"

He nodded. "What  _was_  that?"

She shrugged.

Varric joined them, a scowl on his face. "I think we could have done without these things getting any weirder. Don't you?"

"Maybe Fiona will know what's going on." Alec offered.

"Your guess is as good as mine." She looked behind him and narrowed her eyes. "Whose this?"

Alec turned to an approaching Blackwall. "Oh, right." He held up a hand. "This is Warden Blackwall."

Rayne raised an eyebrow and eyed Blackwall up and down. "You're a Grey Warden?" She asked doubtfully.

Blackwall stood straighter and nodded.

"Really?" She said, seemingly unable to believe it.

Blackwall frowned. "Why do you doubt that? Met many Wardens to compare to?"

A smirk came to Rayne's face. "Well, I can honestly say I haven't met a  _lot._  But I've met my fair share. Initiated a few too."

Blackwall just blinked at her a few moments. "Y-you're a Grey Warden?" He shook his head and eyed her closely. A look of distrust on his face that said he didn't believe her.

Rayne leaned against her staff, fatigue starting to set in. "Warden Commander Rayne Amell." She paused and laughed. "Granted I haven't really commanded anything in over a decade. But semantics. I still hold the title until my Calling."

Alec watched Blackwall and didn't think the older Warden had heard much past her rank and name.

"W-warden Commander?" He stammered. "The Hero of Ferelden?"

"That's what they say." She said dryly.

"But, the Hero died in Kirkwall!"

"Sorry to disappoint?"

Blackwall immediately fell to one knee and bowed his head. "Forgive me, Warden Commander."

Alec had to suppress the laugh that tried to bubble out of him. Varric wasn't as tactful.

The dwarf laughed outright.

Rayne on the other hand just looked annoyed. She sighed. "Get up, will you? Never in my life has anyone  _bowed_  to me. Least of all another Grey Warden. And I would prefer it kept that way."

Blackwall blinked up at her a moment before he realized her irritation. He rose and gave her a sidelong look.

"What?" She nearly snapped.

"How do I know you're telling the truth? About being the Hero of Ferelden. You don't act like you much appreciate the title."

"Because I don't." She eyed him closely. "Just how long have you been a Warden?"

"A few years. Why?"

She didn't answer right away and then finally shook her head. "It doesn't matter. My name is Rayne, and I would prefer to be called such." She turned away from him before he could respond, bringing her attention to Redcliffe. The guards were now raising the gate.

Alec sighed. "Well, I guess we should head in and find out what is happening."

Rayne nodded and brought the hood of her cloak over her head.

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"I would prefer no one notice me. Unlike other places in Ferelden, Redcliffe's villagers that were around during the Blight will definitely recognize me. I want to avoid that."

"Fair enough."

And with that they entered Redcliffe.

They didn't get far before a scout in Inquisition armor came running up to them. Alec couldn't make out his face under the hood, the only distinguishing thing he could see what his ebony skin.

His group stopped and waited for the scout, as he bowed. "We've spread word the Inquisition was coming, but you should know that no one here was expecting us."

Alec frowned. "No one? Not even Grand Enchanter Fiona?"

The scout shrugged. "If she was, she hasn't told anyone. We've arranged use of the tavern for the negotiations."

Rayne nudged him.

He turned to her as she nodded to an upcoming elf.

The elf was in brown tattered robes as he rushed to them. Indicating that he was more than likely a mage. He had medium length light brown hair that he kept pulled back away from his light red face. "Agents of the Inquisition," He bowed slightly. "My apologies! Magister Alexius is in charge now, but hasn't yet arrived. He's expected shortly."

Alec noted Rayne go rigid, but otherwise didn't say anything.

"You can speak with the former Grand Enchanter in the meantime." The mage said unaware of anything amiss. He motioned for them to enter Redcliffe proper and then rushed ahead. No doubt to send word to his master that they had been properly greeted.

" _Former_  Grand Enchanter?" Alec said bewildered.

"I'm more concerned with  _Magister_  Alexius." A hint of venom in Rayne's voice as she said it.

Yes, the mage did say Magister. 'Magister' was only a term used for Tevinter mages.

"I don't like this." Rayne whispered. But she followed after the mage.

Alec followed after.

"The Veil is weaker here than in Haven." Solas noted. "And not merely weak but altered in a way I have not seen." A frown of confusion on his face.

Alec nodded. He may not have been as adept at the Fade and Veil as Solas, but even he felt the wrongness.

Rayne tilted her head and looked up a small rise. Instead of heading into the village she went up.

"Where are you going?" Alec said and followed close behind.

She stopped at the top where an old windmill was. It was a ruin, one wall completely gone and most the roof with it. Judging by the foliage around the area, it had been that way for some time.

Solas came up beside her, a look of wonder on his face. "That windmill has weathered a great deal. I am impressed it remains standing."

Rayne nodded. "It was destroyed in the final attack the darkspawn had sent into Redcliffe. Shortly before the battle in Denerim." She paused. "I wonder why the Arl never fixed it." She said softly.

Alec came closer. "Perhaps he intends to?" He offered. "I can imagine there must have been a lot that needed repairing."

"Hmm." Was her only response before turning back down the hill.

"When was the last time you were here?" Varric asked.

"The night before we marched for Denerim after we learned the archdemon was descending on the city." She remained quiet a few moments as they passed some villagers. "Redcliffe was under siege by darkspawn when King Alistair and I arrived with our allies. We had thought that the archdemon had been heading here to hit our army that had been growing here. We learned from another Grey Warden that the attack here had been a ruse. A decoy by the archdemon."

Alec raised an eyebrow. "I didn't think archdemons were that intelligent."

"Archdemons are  _very_  intelligent. It's the darkspawn themselves that are nothing more than animals. Only the urge to kill. Which is why they're not much of a threat without an archdemon to command them. To rally them." She looked up as they entered the center of the village. A disgusted noise escaped her that would have done Cassandra proud.

Alec looked around.

The center of the village was a few shops that surrounded a huge stone statue. A path led down to Lake Calenhad where he could see docks and boats tied to them. On the other side of the market was a trail leading up a small hill where more buildings were built, but they were clearly homes. At the other side of the market from where they were standing he could see what looked like a tavern and the top of a Chantry.

"What is it?" Alec asked unsure of what caused her disgust.

"I cannot believe they built this thing." She grumbled and went to the statue.

He finally studied the statue, not sure at first what it was supposed to be. And then finally its shape began to show itself to him.

It was a huge carving, as big as the buildings surrounding it. The base was long rectangle slabs crushing what looked like skeletons between them. On top of that was a large eagle looking to the heavens, a look of defiance in its features.

 **No, not an eagle.**  Alec realized as he studied it more.  **A griffon.**

He went up to Rayne's side where there was a plaque and read it out loud:

 _"_ _To honor the courage and valor of the woman who stood in defense of Redcliffe Village_

_She who was willing to sacrifice her life for Thedas_

_She who gave her life in Kirkwall._

_A mage_

_A friend_

_The Hero of Ferelden"_

Rayne sighed. "Typical Teagan."

Varric scrunched up his nose. "Are those corpses?"

"Yes."

"Question: why?"

"Because that is what I defended the village against."

Alec frowned. "You just said darkspawn."

"That was the second attack." She said. "When we first arrived here, Arl Eamon and his family were locked away in the castle and Bann Teagan – Arl Eamon's brother – had been mustering as much defense as he could against the horde of undead that attacked from the castle each night."

"I remember that story." Solas said studying the statue. "I thought it an exaggeration."

She sighed. "Unfortunately, it wasn't." Her voice was laced with sorrow.

"Angel-face?" Varric said hesitantly.

"I sometimes wonder if maybe I could have prevented this." She said in a low voice.

"How could  _you_  have possibly prevented it?" Blackwall asked. "From what I understand, wasn't the siege caused by an untrained mage."

Rayne was silent a moment before speaking. "Connor. His name was Connor. His father was Arl Eamon. He had ended up being possessed by a demon." She shook her head. "It makes no matter." She said sharply and moved towards the docks.

"Shouldn't we head to the tavern?" Alec called after.

"It ain't going anywhere." She called back.

He turned to Varric who shrugged and followed after her.

Rayne walked along the shore avoiding the hustle and bustle of people. Finally halfway down the dock she stopped and looked across the lake.

Alec followed her gaze and saw off in the distance a tall tower that was hidden by clouds. "What's that?"

"Kinloch Hold. The Circle tower of Ferelden." She tilted her head. "That's where I was raised. Surrounded by mages and Templars, learning to control my magic."

Alec let her be lost in memory just listening to the lapping of the waves against the dock.

"You should talk to the Magister. You're the rightful heir to Redcliffe." A voice said.

Alec frowned and turned his head towards the end of the dock.

There were two boys there. Maybe in their early twenties if he had to guess. One was in dark green cloth breeches and blue shirt. He had short dark brown hair. The other was in white and brown robes with medium length blonde hair.

"In Tevinter, they would never take that away just because you're a mage." Continued the boy with blonde hair.

 _Heir to Redcliffe?_  Alec thought in confusion.

"After what I did… I'm not even sure I should be here." The boy with brown hair said in a defeated voice.

Rayne finally caught onto the conversation as well. She slowly began walking their direction.

"It's not your fault." Blonde hair said. "It could've happened to any of us."

Brown hair's face hardened. "That doesn't help! That's why people hate us."

"But…"

"Just stop." He snapped. "You don't know what you're talking about."

Blonde hair shook his head and left the other alone.

Rayne was the first to reach Brown hair. "Connor?" She said softly.

**Connor? The boy she just spoke of?**

The boy turned. Alec could now see his blue eyes. He frowned at Rayne.

She lifted her head slightly, allowing sunlight to pierce the shadows of her hood.

Connor's eyes widened. "R-rayne?" He exclaimed.

She brought a finger to her lips and looked around. She motioned with her head down the wooden dock.

Connor nodded and headed down.

The rest followed.

At the end he finally turned to her. "Is… that really you?"

Rayne pulled back her hood enough to show her face, but it kept it concealed enough to anyone further away. "Hello Connor."

"B-but, father said…"

"That I died? It's a long story." She frowned. "What are you doing here?"

Connor shook his head.

"You're with the rebels?" Rayne guessed.

He sighed.

"You're Connor?" Alec asked.

Connor brought his attention to him and a bitter smirk came to his face. "You've heard the story, I guess?" He shook his head. "I can't believe the King thought Redcliffe was the right place to send the mages. I mean, it was nice of him to offer refuge. But… I don't think the people here wanted me, or anyone like me, in this town ever again."

"You were behind the siege of Redcliffe ten years ago?"

Rayne shot him a sharp look.

"That's me." Connor admitted. "The boy with Redcliffe's blood on his hands."

Rayne stepped forward. "You were possessed, Connor. It wasn't you who did those things."

"Wasn't it? I let the demon in."

Rayne's face filled with anger. "To help your father." She hissed. "You were a young boy who had no understanding of magic, and your father was  _dying_. You just wanted to help. If anyone's to blame its Arlessa Isolde!"

Connor flinched.

The anger bled out of Rayne's face as quickly as it had come when she saw Connor's reaction. She sighed. "I'm sorry. That… was unworthy of me." Her body sagged in defeat and sadness. "I know what your mother did, she did to protect you."

Connor shook his head. "Sometimes when I dream, I remember what happened. I see the death and destruction, and it's me. It's all me."

Rayne looked like she was about to jump him again, but thought better of it. She knew it would do no good. No matter what she said, Connor would always hang onto that guilt.

"Why isn't Arl Eamon in power anymore?"

Rayne was the one to answer. "After the Landsmeet, Eamon had stayed in Denerim to help King Alistair."

Connor nodded. "I couldn't be his heir, not after what happened, so eventually he passed the title to Uncle Teagan."

"How did you end up in the mage rebellion?" Rayne asked.

"I was living in the Ferelden tower when the Circles dissolved." He explained. "I voted against it, but…" He shook his head. "At first, it seemed all right. No one was summoning demons. They just wanted to oversee themselves. But then the Magisters came and… it's wrong, what they do in Tevinter. We  _are_  monsters. We need to be controlled. If it wasn't for me…"

"Connor…" Rayne said lightly.

He sighed. "Every family in this village wouldn't be missing a son, a daughter, a spouse."

"You're not in favor of the alliance with Tevinter?" Alec asked.

Rayne scoffed.

"'Alliance.' Is that what they're calling it?" Connor sneered. "That Magister threw my uncle into the street! He signed us into servitude!"

"What? Where is Teagan?" Rayne asked.

"Last I saw, on his way to Denerim to seek aid from King Alistair."

Rayne spun around and began cursing under her breath.

Connor turned back to Alec. "This is my home. Redcliffe. Ferelden. No matter what evils I've done, I would never have invited Tevinter here."

Rayne shook her head and turned to Alec. "We need to speak with Fiona."

He nodded.

Connor stepped towards Rayne. "Please, Rayne. Talk some sense into the Grand Enchanter. Selling out to magisters won't win us any favors. You're still a legend here. And not just in Redcliffe. If you cannot talk sense into her, you must try something else. Please." He pleaded.

Rayne searched Connor's face and then took a deep breath. "We will try everything in our power Connor." She promised.

"That we will." Alec said. "Come on." He turned, not waiting for a reply.

The sign outside the tavern called it the Gull and Lantern.

Rayne eyed it. "Well, at least they didn't keep the name they wanted it to be."

"What was it before?" Varric asked.

"During the Blight? I can't rightfully remember. But after the siege, the owner wanted to name it The Warden's Rest." She turned to Alec. "I'll wait out here."

He frowned. "Why?"

"You'll be meeting with a Magister. And I… might not be able to control myself." She didn't elaborate. "I'll be out here. I'll be able to hear everything. If you need me, just holler."

Alec nodded. "Very well." He took a deep breath and pushed into the tavern.

Inside was mildly busy. Mostly with mages. In the far corner a group of about four mages stood watching him and his fellows. One he recognized from Val Royeaux

Fiona was an elf in her fifties, if he had to guess. She had slightly tanned skin and short black hair that was tucked behind her pointed ears. Like most elves her eyes were big and bright brown. She wore robes of the circle, including a belt with the circle symbol.

Fiona bowed slightly to them. "Welcome, Agents of the Inquisition." A frown came to her face. "What has brought you to Redcliffe?"

Now it was Alec's turn to frown in confusion. "We're here because of your invitation back in Val Royeaux."

"You must be mistaken." Fiona said in genuine bewilderment. "I haven't been to Val Royeaux since before the Conclave."

Alec's frown deepened. "If it wasn't you who invited me here, who was it?"

Fiona frowned and blinked rapidly. "I… don't know." She rubbed her head. "Now that you say it, I feel strange." She shook her head. "Whoever… or whatever brought you here, the situation has changed. The free mages have already… pledged themselves to the service of the Tevinter Imperium. As one indentured to a Magister, I no longer have the authority to negotiate with you."

 **Indentured?**  Alec thought.  **That doesn't sound good.**  Trying to keep himself composed, he asked, "Very well. Who is in charge now?"

As he said that the door to the Tavern opened.

He turned to see an elderly man in silks of red, gold and black. A red hood covered his head where Alec could see a receding grey hairline. And a handsome young man behind him with tanned skin and short shaved black hair in similar clothing but of yellow and brown. The style of clothing was unfamiliar to Alec, so he assumed these were Tevinter Magisters.

The elderly man smiled warmly. "Welcome, my friends! I apologize for not greeting you earlier."

"Agents of the Inquisition," Fiona said behind him. "Allow me to introduce Magister Gereon Alexius."

Alexius nodded to Alec, singling him out at the leader of their small group. "The southern mages are under my command. And you are the survivor, yes? The one from the Fade." He tilted his head studying Alec. "Interesting."

Alec did not like the way Alexius studied him. He felt like some specimen that the Magister wanted to dissect. And knowing Tevinter mages, he probably wasn't too far off thinking that. "I'd like to know more about this Alliance between the rebel mages and the Imperium."

No doubt Rayne was also curious. Alec was trying to think outside his normal scope of questions since Rayne wasn't here herself to ask, but she could listen.

"Certainly." Alexius said pleasantly. "What specifically do you wish to know?"

"The Grand Enchanter told me she was 'indentured to a Magister.'"

"Our Southern brethren have no legal status in the Imperium." Alexius explained. "As they were not born citizens of Tevinter, they must work for a period of ten years before gaining full rights. As their protector, I shall oversee their work for the Imperium."

"I'm not clear on when, exactly, you negotiated this arrangement with Fiona."

"When the Conclave was destroyed, these poor souls faced the brutality of the Templars, who rushed to attack them." He turned to Fiona, a pleasant expression on his face. "It could only be through divine providence that I arrived when I did."

 **Divine providence my ass.**  Alec thought.

Even Fiona frowned. "It was certainly… very timely." She said with a hint of doubt.

Well, at least she wasn't a complete idiot. Unfortunately this doubt came a little too late.

"What does the Imperium gain from taking rebel mages under its wing?" Alec asked, regaining Alexius' attention.

"For the moment, the Southern mages are a considerable expense. After they are properly trained, they will join our legion."

Fiona's eyes widened and she took one step forward. "You said not all my people would be military! There are children, those not suited—"

"And one day, I'm sure they will all be productive citizens of the Imperium." Alexius said, cutting off Fiona. "When their debts are paid."

Alec nodded to Alexius. "You're a long way from home, Alexius."

The Magister smiled. "Indeed. But I hear you are no Fereldan either. It seems we are both foreigners here." He motioned to a nearby table and went to it.

Alec followed suit and sat in one of the wooden chairs.

Alexius turned to the young man at his side. "Felix, would you send for a scribe, please?" He noted Alec watching Felix. "Pardon my manners. My son Felix, friends."

Felix came forward briefly and bowed to Alec before turning to do as his father bid.

"I am not surprised you're here." Alexius said to Alec. "Containing the Breach is not a feat many could even attempt. There is no telling how many mages would be needed for such an endeavor. Ambitious, indeed."

 **Alright. I can play this game.**  Alec thought and smiled pleasantly. "Well, when you're fighting a massive tear in the sky, you can hardly afford to think small."

Alexius smirked. "There will have to be—" He looked over towards the bar.

Alec turned to see Felix returning. But now he was slower in his step and a little hunched as if in pain.

Concerned, Alec stood and had taken a step towards him.

Felix initially waved him off. But then he staggered and fell forward.

Alec barely caught him. Felix grabbed one of his hands to steady himself.

Alexius practically flew out of his seat. "Felix!" His voice laced with concern.

"My lord, I'm so sorry." Felix gasped. "Please forgive me." He backed away from Alec, still holding onto his side.

Alexius came forward. "Are you all right?"

Felix nodded. "I'm fine, Father."

Alexius studied his son and shook his head. "Come, I'll get your powders." He turned to Alec. "Please, excuse me, friends. We will have to continue this another time." He began heading to the door. "Fiona, I require your assistance back at the castle."

Fiona nodded and followed her master like a loyal dog.

Felix followed more slowly behind. "I don't mean to trouble everyone." He said as way of apology.

Alec nodded to him, indicating no harm done.

"I will send word to the Inquisition." Alexius said over his shoulder. "We will conclude this business at a later date."

Alec couldn't suppress the sneer he had been hiding that entire time any longer. Once Alexius, Felix, Fiona and the mages that accompanied her left he turned his attention to an item in his hand.

Unbeknownst to his father, when Felix had fallen into Alec's arms the son had placed something in his hand.

It was a piece of parchment. Alec carefully unfolded it.

It was a letter.

"Come to the Chantry." He read aloud. "You are in danger."

He looked up to his fellows.

"Did the Magister's son give you that?" Blackwall asked with a frown on his face. "Why would he help you?"

"We'll be careful, but we need to figure out what's going on here." Alec said. He went back outside to find Rayne leaning against the building. "I hope you heard all that."

She nodded. "Including the note. The obvious note stating the obvious." She said sarcastically. She sighed and pushed off the building. "Well, shall we head to the Chantry then?"

He nodded and led the way.

It was a quaint little Chantry. No typical adornments outside like most did. But it was warm and inviting.

Rayne stopped outside the door and placed a hand on one of the beams a small smile came to her face.

"I thought you weren't religious?" Alec teased.

"I'm not. Old memories." She studied the beam a bit more. "This is where I first met Arl Teagan. Back when he was still just Bann of Rainesfere."

"What was he like?" Solas asked.

"Honorable. Brave. Kind. And very easy on the eyes." She joked, but there was warmth in her voice. "He was determined to stand against the tide that threatened to swallow this town. Even if it meant him dying, he would stand." Finally she lowered her hand and sighed. "I'm going to head back to Haven, start filling in the others with what is happening here. I'm going to assume you can handle anything that might be in there?"

Alec smirked. "Unless its Tevinter's full army, I think we'll be fine."

Rayne smiled at him. "Good luck."


	12. Amell

She had rushed back to Haven as Alec stayed behind in Redcliffe.

Rayne delivered the grim news to Leliana, Cullen and Josephine. Redcliffe was in the hands of the Imperium.

Alec had sent word that he was still going to travel to the Storm Coast. He had gathered more information on the situation in Redcliffe, and if any of it were true, they were going to need all the aid they could get.

It had been weeks since she had left the Hinterlands. And every day she was chaffing at the bit to do something. Anything at that point.

**How did this happen?**  Rayne said staring down at her sketchbook of an old drawing of Teagan with the Chantry in the background. She sat at the small desk in her room; a lone candle was her only source of light.

**_"_ ** **_Do you have a family?" She asked pleasantly._ **

**_Teagan looked flustered for a moment, but was quick to regain himself. "Oh…" He smiled pleasantly. "You mean, am I married? I… no. No, I've never had the pleasure. If I did, I'd be lucky to find a woman as lovely as yourself."_ **

**_She gave him a flirtatious smile. "Flatterer."_ **

**_A sparkle came to his eyes. "If I may be so bold, what of you, my lady? Are you married?"_ **

**_The question had caught her off guard. "I'm a mage." She answered, expecting that to be answer enough._ **

**_Teagan shrugged. "Mages can marry, or so I'm told."_ **

**_She chuckled. "They can, indeed, if the man is brave enough."_ **

**_She felt Alistair shift behind her. But he otherwise didn't comment on them flirting with one another._ **

**_Teagan didn't notice him. His eyes were fixated on her. "I can think of several reasons why one would be willing to be so brave."_ **

**_Her breath caught as she saw the earnest in his eyes. She felt heat come to her cheeks._ **

**_Teagan blinked rapidly and his eyes briefly ticked behind her, as if remembering that they weren't alone. "But I am too bold, my lady." He said bringing his attention back to her. "This is hardly the time for such… banter. Please accept my apology."_ **

**_Rayne was unable to stop herself. "In fact, you're not bold enough, my lord."_ **

**_It was his turn for his cheeks to turn scarlet. "You're too kind, my lady, amongst many other things."_ **

The sounds of murmuring behind her pulled her out of her thoughts.

She turned in her chair and smiled softly at the small form that lay in her bed.

Aiden had not wanted to leave her side since her return, especially when he found out about the encounter with the magisters. Almost as if he was afraid that they would come for her again.

Rayne sometimes wondered if she should have kept the truth of her past from him. But she had been an avid believer in truth. Especially with those you love. So when he was old enough to realize what her brand was, and he asked about it, she had not hesitated in telling him. She skimmed over the more gruesome details. Just as she had kept the details of what truly transpired after the destruction in Kirkwall.

In the end, it didn't matter what exactly was told. The end was the same: Tevinter magisters were dangerous and took what they wanted. Which is what frightened Aiden now. The enemy was too close for his liking. He had been much the same way in their very brief stay in Tevinter.

A soft knock at her door pulled her attention away from her son.

She quickly went to it to keep Aiden from being awakened.

Outside the door was a very tired looking Alec.

Casting one final look at Aiden to make sure he was still asleep, she slipped out into the hall and closed the door behind her. "Alec, when did you return?"

The hall was unnaturally quiet. All the Chantry sisters and brothers had long since gone to bed, so the halls were empty except for the two of them.

Alec ran a hand through his hair. "We just arrived. The others have already gone to bed. We didn't rest very much on the trip back."

She frowned at him. "You should be in bed too, you look like you're about to fall over from exhaustion."

He waved away her worry. "I'm fine for the moment." He said wearily.

She didn't believe him for a moment and was about to order him to bed when the creak from her door interrupted her.

" _Mamae?_ " A groggy Aiden said.

She turned. "Aiden, why aren't you asleep?"

"You left."

She sighed. She turned back to Alec who stood slightly swaying. "If you're insisting on talking to me instead of sleeping, come on."

He didn't move.

With a sigh of annoyance she grabbed his hand and pulled him into her room.

Aiden quickly moved to the side and watched his mother sit Alec down on her bed.

Rayne turned to him. "Aiden, why don't you go to your own room for the night?"

His eyes went to Alec and then nodded. "Alright. G'night Ser Alec."

Alec nodded. "Pleasant dreams, Aiden."

Once Aiden was gone and the door shut tight she turned to him. "How late is it?"

"Late enough." He replied with a yawn.

She shook her head. "Now what is so important that this couldn't wait until you got sleep?"

"What do you know about time magic?"

She frowned. "Time magic?"

"Yes."

She thought a few moments. "Not a lot. Considering it's just a theory."

Alec rubbed the back of his neck, like he was trying to massage a knot. "What if it wasn't just a theory?"

"What's this about, Alec?"

He sighed. "That rift outside of Redcliffe, we now know why it was so different from the others. That is… if we believe the source of information. The rift, it was twisting time around itself. Slowing some things down, speeding others up."

She thought back to the encounter. "Yes, I remember. And you're saying this was a form of time magic?"

He nodded heavily.

"Are the rifts evolving? Are we going to have to expect more like it?"

He shook his head. "No. This one and the one that was in the Chantry were altered." He paused. "By Alexius."

Rayne sighed. "Of course. Why am I  _not_  surprised?" She shook her head and then eyed Alec. "How did you find all this out?"

He squirmed under her gaze. "The note, from Felix? When we entered the Chantry we found another rift, and another mage fighting the demons coming through. He knew about the magic that was altering the rifts, and Alexius' connection."

He was clearing picking and choosing his words carefully.

"Alec…" She said. "What aren't you telling me?"

He hesitated. Finally with a sigh of defeat, "It was another magister." He paused. "Well, sortof. He said he technically wasn't a magister."

"What does that mean exactly?"

"He's a mage from Tevinter, but not part of the Magisterium."

"Oh, cause that makes it so much better." She said dryly.

"He wants to help, Rayne." Alec explained. "Him and Felix. To stop Alexius and what he's doing."

Rayne rubbed her head. "Why in Andraste's name would Felix want to go against his father?"

"He knows what his father is doing is wrong and twisted. Alexius is working for a cult. They call themselves the Venatori."

"Charming. And this new not-magister?"

Alec diverted his gaze briefly, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink. "His name is Dorian."

Rayne groaned. "Andraste's flaming ass, Alec. Really?"

"What?" He said incredulously.

She simply shook her head. "And his relationship to Alexius?"

"He was Dorian's patron."

With a sigh Rayne plopped into the chair at the desk. "Well, this just keeps getting better." She mumbled. She gave him a sidelong look. "And you believe his story? That this is indeed time magic? Magic that is pure theory? Being caused by Alexius?"

"I know it sounds crazy. You claim to have knowledge outside of what the Chantry taught us."

She groaned. "That doesn't mean I am all knowing."

"But, you were there. You felt it."

She was. And in truth, what Alec was saying made a lot of sense. She just didn't like the thought of working with a mage from Tevinter.

With a deep breath, she pushed her distrust and hate to the side and stood from her chair and began pacing. She began parsing out all the ramifications if this was true. "Why would Alexius do this?"

"To get to me?" Alec said wearily.

She turned her head to him. "What do you mean?"

He leaned again the wall and yawned. "He used the magic to claim the mages in Redcliffe after the Conclave."

She frowned. "That explains why he was able to get to them so quickly." She murmured. "But why does he want you?"

Alec shrugged. "They don't know. Perhaps I'm a threat to whatever he's doing to the rifts. Or perhaps he wants me to ally with him. Who knows the full extent my mark can do?"

"Hmm, fair point." She went to the lone bookcase that she had some of her more important tomes. She browsed her memory going through memories if she had anything on time magic. Alas a lot of her books were left in Kirkwall, she had no idea what ever happened to them.

Sighing in defeat she turned back to Alec. An amused smile came to her face and she shook her head.

He had lain down on her bed and now was curled up in the furs fast asleep.

**Well, at least he's asleep now** _._  She thought in amusement.

* * *

Her eyes were shut tight as she nuzzled her face against something worn and soft. She didn't want to wake up yet. Smells of leather, sweat, trees, soil and grass filled her nose. It was a familiar scent. She smelled this exact smell almost every night during the Blight. Down to the same exact trees. It was the smell of Ferelden. It was the smell that was always on Alistair.

Rayne opened her heavy eyelids at the thought of the former Warden. She licked the roof of her dry mouth as her bleary eyes slowly took in everything around her.

The room was quiet. The sun was shining through the one lone window.

She had heavy furs lying on top of her to keep the cold of the Frostbacks off her. A firm chest that rose and fell with each breath was a pillow under her head. A heartbeat filled her ears that was like a lullaby begging her to stay and go back to sleep.

She scanned the room again. Her eyes fell on a familiar form sitting at her desk.

Cullen sat in the chair turned towards the bed as she had it the night before. The sun from the window illuminated him and made the plate he wore shine. He sat back, his legs crossed. He gave her a lopsided smile when he saw her eyes fall on him.

"I see you and the Herald have become quite friendly." He teased.

Rayne blinked rapidly replaying his words. Her groggy brain finally fully began to register where she was sleeping. And more importantly  _who_  she was sleeping on.

She slowly raised her head and looked into Alec's sleeping face.

He murmured in his sleep, but otherwise didn't awaken.

She easily extricated herself from the arm that he had thrown over her shoulder and eased her way off her bed.

She motioned to Cullen to meet her outside.

This gained her an amused smile.

She frowned at him. She all over the sudden felt the urge to strangle him.

He saw that and laughter came to his eyes. But finally he nodded and rose from the chair and left the room.

Sighing in annoyance she found her brush and untangled her short hair. She thought about changing into new clothes, but had decided against it. She grabbed her heavier coat that had fur trimming along the neck and rushed out the room. Closing the door as quietly as possible.

Cullen wasn't in the Chantry, so she went outside.

Her breath frosted in the morning air as she looked around for the Commander.

He was off to the side of the Chantry leaning against the building.

When he saw her notice him, he motioned his head to the back of the Chantry. Out of earshot and sight of anyone else.

With a sigh she followed him, rubbing her increasingly cold hands.

He was again leaning against the building, looking easy and relaxed. But Rayne noted the dark circles under his eyes and the fact that they were bloodshot that said he hadn't slept well. Again. She was beginning to wonder if he ever did.

"That wasn't what it looked like." She stated right off the bat as she drew closer.

Cullen tilted his head. "I'm not going to judge, Rayne. You're a grown woman, and the Herald a grown man. What you two do behind closed doors is your own affair."

"It wasn't like that." She snapped. "I told you before: I'm not Alec's type."

He raised an eyebrow. "Not from what I just saw. You two were right comfy." His voice half teasing.

She sighed in annoyance. "You'll note, we were both fully clothed. Hell, he still had boots on for fucks sake."

His eyebrow rose higher. "You can enjoy someone's company without being naked. When did you get such a mouth?"

"I always had this mouth. I just kept it tame before." He was starting to annoy her. "And I repeat:  _I'm not his type._  He got in late last night and had come to me about information on the situation in Redcliffe and fell asleep. He was exhausted." She paused. "Why am I having to justify this to you?" She said in exasperation.

"You're the one that felt the need." He stated. "I was willing to just let it go."

"All the while thinking something is going on between him and me." She grumbled. Why did that bother her so much? She rubbed her hands together mentally berating herself for not grabbing her gloves.

Cullen noticed and stood straighter. "Come here."

She narrowed her eyes. "Why?" She asked wearily.

"Just come here already." He said firmly.

With a sigh she went to him.

He gently grabbed her hands and pulled her to him turning her in the process so her back was against his chest. His gloved hands rubbed hers. "As I said before, Rayne. I wasn't going to judge. You're allowed to do whatever you wish… with whomever you wish. But if it's any consolation, I believe you. Granted I can't fathom how you  _couldn't_  be his type."

She leaned into him allowing his body heat to warm her; feeling began to seep back into her fingers. "You'd be surprised. Contrary to your beliefs, I am not a god-send to every man on this planet."

He chuckled; his warm breath caressed the back of her neck. "True. No matter your beauty, I'm sure the dwarves wouldn't fall on themselves for you."

She rolled her eyes. A sly smile came to her face that she wasn't sure he saw. "Wait. You think I'm beautiful?"

She caught his face out of the corner of her eye and saw his face flush.

"I…" He cleared his throat. "Only stating the obvious. I-I've heard the soldier talking about you."

"Ugh." She said. But she noticed he didn't admit that was how he felt. She decided to push it. "You didn't answer the question though."

He swallowed and instead of answering he changed the subject. "Did you see who and what the Herald brought back with him?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Considering I just woke up. No."

"I thought perhaps he mentioned it."

She shook her head. "He was more concerned on relaying the news of Redcliffe knowing my personal interest in it. Why? Who did he bring?"

Cullen released her hands and she immediately missed the feeling. "Come on." He quickly left their hiding place and went out into camp.

Rayne quickly followed him through the camp and down to the training yard.

Aiden was lounging on top of Elgar with Ghost lying nearby. All of them were trying to be covert in watching the new members of the Inquisition.

After traveling with Sten and living in Kirkwall, the sight of a Qunari wasn't all that new. But seeing one among Inquisition forces definitely was.

This Qunari was taller than even Cullen. From where she was, Rayne figured he was maybe only a fraction shorter than Sten had been but just as broad. He had greyish leather skin over rippling muscle that he didn't hide under armor, wearing only a leather harness that covered his left shoulder but left the rest of his chest bare; showing off muscle, black tattoos and scars. Long black bull horns jutted out from his head. A patch covered his left eye; three scars could be seen traveling down his face indicating he had lost the eye from whatever caused the scars. There were other smaller scars on his face, but those were his most prominent. He had thin lips that were in a smirk surrounded by a light black goatee.

"Let me guess," Rayne said. "Iron Bull?"

Cullen nodded. " _The_  Iron Bull. To be precise. And he's… not what I expected."

"That can be a good or bad thing."

He chuckled. "So far good… I think."

"And his Chargers?"

He nodded to the training yard.

She turned and saw a new group going through practice. She immediately recognized Cremisius. "What do you think?"

"From what I've seen?" He shrugged. "They're professionals. Despite evidence to the contrary." He joked.

"What do you mean?"

As if on cue, Iron Bull approached. "Where have you been hiding this one Commander?" He bellowed.

Rayne raised an eyebrow as his jovial tone. It seemed so out of place for a Qunari. A broad smile was on his face. And  _that_  was definitely out of character for the Qunari she had met.

His eye traveled up and down her body. "I think we need to get to warmer climate so I can see what's under that coat."

Cullen sighed.

"For that, I may be inclined to just keep on the coat out of spite." She said deadpan.

He laughed. "And who might this firecracker be?"

"Oh no, Sweetheart." She said sweetly. "A firecracker only goes off once and then just lies there. I keep going and going."

Iron Bulls roared in laughter whereas Cullen looked uncomfortable.

"So then, you have a name?" Iron Bull asked between chuckles.

"Rayne Amell."

He titled his head and frowned in thought. "Amell? Why does that name sound familiar?" He mumbled.

Rayne kept her face still. "I'm sure it will come to you eventually. And what do I call you. Iron Bull or  _The_  Iron Bull?"

"My friends just call me Bull."

"Friends already are we?"

He grinned. "I think we will get very friendly. And maybe I can get you out of that coat."

"Good luck with that." She said in amusement.

Bulls' face screwed into another frown. "Wait…  _Basalit-an?_ "

She raised an eyebrow.

"The Arishok. He spoke of an Amell."

"Oh? So you are actually part of the Qun then?"

"Of course." He said wearily.

"I would have figured you for  _Tal-Vashoth._ "

Bull's good nature evaporated from his face becoming hard. "I am  _nothing_  like them."

Rayne bowed her head. "Forgive me. I meant no offense. I just thought since you were part of a mercenary company…"

"He's a spy." Cullen offered.

"Not a very good one if we already know about it." Rayne said lightly.

Bull relaxed. "I told your agent who and what I was. And what I was tasked with."

She nodded. "Very well then. I will trust Alec's judgment on the matter. Again, I am sorry if I offended. You're just not much like the other Qunari I have had contact with." She thought a moment. "Well, expect for one. She was… an odd one. To say the least. And an elf."

"Then how was she Qunari?" Cullen asked.

"Qunari are more than a race. They are a religion." She explained.

Bull nodded and then tilted his head. "So you  _are_  then one that our Arishok spoke of?"

"All depends. What did he say about me?"

He thought a moment. "He said he only met one honorable person while in Ferelden. The Warden. He spoke fondly of them, called them  _kadan."_

Rayne smiled warmly. "Yeah, that's me."

"I always that The Warden was a man."

"Have you not heard stories about the Hero of Ferelden being a woman?" Cullen asked.

Bull shrugged. "Sure. But I recall there being more than one Warden. One happened to be a man." He eyed Rayne. "This explains the fondness."

She rolled her eyes at his suggestion. "No such luck on that front. He was just a very good friend and companion."

Cullen eyed her. "You never told me that the Arishok was a friend. Didn't you try to convince him not to attack Kirkwall?"

She looked at him in confusion. "Oh!" She said realizing. "Wrong Arishok. The one we're speaking of was Sten before the Arishok in Kirkwall was killed. Sten went on to replace him."

"Yeah," Bull said wistfully. "He had a great rack."

Rayne snickered. "And now you have a hornless one. Isn't that a sign of greatness or something?"

Bull nodded.

"So I assume that Iron Bull isn't your name under the Qun?"

"Nope.  _Hissrad_." He thought a moment. "You can translate it as 'Keep of Illusions', for my work as a spy."

"It means 'liar'." She said deadpan.

Bull blew out through his nose but otherwise didn't comment.

"Yes, Sten taught me some Qunlat over our time together."

"There you two are." A new voice cut in.

All three turned to Leliana.

"I see you have met Iron Bull."

Rayne nodded.

"Alec just awoke and wants to deliver his report." She gave Rayne a sidelong look. "I understand he already filled you in?"

"Yes. So there is really no point in me being there."

"I would still like you there. We will also be coming to a decision on mages or Templars." She motioned for them to follow.

With a sigh Rayne turned to Bull. "A pleasure, Bull. We'll have to talk some more sometime."

He smiled. "That we will."


	13. Cullen

Cullen listened to the report about Redcliffe. He shook his head in dismay. That left only one option. "Then that settles it. The Templars must help us close the Breach. The Order was founded to fight magic."

Alec raised an eyebrow but otherwise didn't say anything.

Leliana scowled. "We must first convince the Lord Seeker to bring the Templars out of exile."

"We've received word from a knight recruit. They gather at Therinfall Redoubt." Cullen remembered.

Cassandra scowled. "It has been vacant for decades. Why go there?"

Josephine tapped the board in her hands. "We must approach the Lord Seeker again to get anywhere. We can ask him then."

"If we present a plan to seal the Breach, the Templars may ally with us." Alec said. But he still sounded hesitant.

"First we must prove ourselves a more attractive prospect." Leliana said. A smirk on her face.

"If status is what the Lord Seeker seeks, the Inquisition will approach him after allying with the noblest families in Orlais." Josephine put in.

Leliana nodded. "They'll come with us to Therinfall, and demand the Templars help close the Breach."

Cullen frowned. "You believe that will work?"

Cassandra smirked. "Even the Lord Seeker would find it difficult to ignore so many nobles on his doorstep."

"Yes." Leliana agreed. "Especially when led by the Herald of Andraste."

Alec smiled charmingly. "Is it my good looks you need or my winning smile?"

Cullen shifted but kept his thoughts to himself. Events of this morning still were fresh.

Leliana smirked. "Rumors you were saved from the Fade by Andraste have grown legion among the Templars."

"We've done our part to encourage them." Josephine interjected.

Cullen could see the dip of Alec's lips as the mage tried to hide his displeasure.

"A Herald with a few companions may be dismissed," Leliana continued. "Easily set aside. That same Herald returning with noble support will be reconsidered. As will the power of the Inquisition."

"Isn't there the slightest chance the Lord Seeker will see my arrival as a threat?"

"Before I would have thought he was a man of reason." Cassandra said. "Now, I could not say."

Cullen scowled. "With respect, after his appearance in Val Royeaux, hang what the Lord Seeker thinks."

Rayne chuckled as she inspected her nails as she leaned against the far wall.

Leliana shook her head. "We do not need the Lord Seeker. We need his Templars. With or without his approval. The Breach will not wait for our differences to settle."

"Alright." Rayne finally said. "Now, let's talk about Redcliffe."

Josephine and Cullen frowned at her.

She shrugged. "What? We are supposed to be talking about both options, are we not? We've heard what will be required for the Templars. So, what about the mages?"

He sighed. "We don't have the man power to take the castle." Trying to keep his tone calm. "Either we find another way in or give up this nonsense and go and get the Templars." His voice went hard at the end.

Ryane pushed herself off the wall with a frown on her face. "Redcliffe is in the hands of a magister. This cannot be allowed to stand." She snapped.

Josephine sighed. "The letter from Alexius asked for the Herald of Andraste by name." She looked to him and Leliana. "It's an obvious trap!"

"Isn't that kind of him?" Alec quipped. "What does Alexius say about me?"

Leliana smirked. "He's so complementary that we are certain he wants to kill you."

"Not this again." Josephine groaned.

"Redlciffe Castle is one of the most defensible fortresses in Ferelden." Cullen said, trying to remain calm.  **How can she not understand this?**  He thought to himself. "It has repelled thousands of assaults." He looked at Alec. "If you go in there, you'll die. And we'll lose the only means we have at sealing these rifts. I won't allow it."

"And if we do not even try to meet Alexius we lose the mages." Rayne said. Her eyes were hard. "And leave a hostile foreign power on our doorstep."

He realized that Rayne's concern wasn't for the mages there. He had spoken with her on the subject. She felt that Fiona had made their beds; they could rot for all she cared. But leaving Tevinter magisters in the heart of Ferelden? That cannot be allowed.

Josephine looked at her in annoyance. "Even if we could assault the Keep, it would be for naught." He turned her attention to Alec. "An  _Orlesian_  Inquisition's army marching into Ferelden will provoke a war. Our hands are tied."

"The Magister…" Rayne began with a raised voice.

"Has out played us." Cullen said firmly, trying to get her to understand.

She searched his eyes and then spun around. Her hands clenched into fists.

Cullen hated telling her that they couldn't. He didn't like disappointing her. He had done that enough to her and he didn't want to do so again. But what else could they do?

Alec chewed on his lower lip a moment in thought. He shook his head. "We can't just give up! There has to be something we can do."

Rayne took a deep breath. "We cannot just accept defeat now." She kept herself turned away, but Cullen could tell that she was trying to control her emotions.

"Other than the main gate there's got to be another way into the castle. A sewer? A water course? Something?" Alec said.

Cullen shrugged. "There's nothing I know of that would work."

"Wait." Rayne said and turned. Her eyes lit up and looked to Leliana with a grin. "There is a secret passage into the castle." She turned her eyes to Cullen. "An escape route for the family that goes under the lake from the jail cells in the castle to the windmill in the village."

Leliana's eyes lit up. "Yes. It's too narrow for our troops, but we could send agents through."

Cullen shook his head. "Too risky. Those agents will be discovered well before they reach the magister."

"That's why we need a distraction." Leliana grinned as a plot unfolded in her head. "Perhaps the envoy that Alexius wants so badly?"

He frowned in thought. "Focus their attention on Trevelyan, while we take out the Tevinters? It's risky, but it could work."

They all jumped as the door to the War Room was thrown open.

Rayne's eyes hardened and Cullen noticed her slight shift away from their intruder.

One of Leliana's scouts ran behind a new face that Cullen hadn't ever seen. He was almost as tall as Cullen himself with swarthy skin, but not as dark as Josephine. His short black hair was styled with an absurd flip in the front. His smooth handsome face had a mole near his right eye. The only hair on his face was a thin mustache that was styled and a soul patch under his lips.

Cullen could tell right away that he was a mage. And he kept himself in good shape. In the attire that he wore Cullen couldn't see a lot of muscle, except from his left shoulder down his arm that was bare.

Alec turned to him with surprise.

The new mage smiled at Alec. "Fortunately, you'll have help." He said picking up where their conversation was interrupted, which said he had been listening to them for some time.

"Dorian?" Alec said in bewilderment.

**The Tevinter mage.**  Cullen thought.

Dorian moved to Alec's side, which incidentally put him right beside Rayne who was doing her best not to just jump away.

"This man says he has information about the magister and his methods, Commander." Leliana's scout said.

Cullen managed to refrain from curling his lip. But he couldn't stop the frown.

"Your spies will never get past Alexius' magic without my help. So, if you're going after him, I'm coming too." He said, flashing them all a charming smile that no doubt had women swooning back in Tevinter.

And then his eyes set on Rayne.

She didn't do anything to mask her distaste. Cullen was shocked that she managed to stay in the same room as Dorian.

Dorian did a double take on her and his eyes widened. Initially Cullen wondered if they knew each other. But no. Dorian didn't recognize Rayne. He recognized her markings.

Dorian went closer to her and began to bring a hand to her marked cheek. "Fascinating."

Before anyone could warm him, Rayne's eyes flashed in anger and her hand snatched his wrist before his hand even reached her face. "Do. Not. Touch me. Tevinter." She said through gritted teeth.

Dorian cried out in pain.

Cullen's eyes widened as he realized what was happening. Rayne was crushing the other mage's wrist.

"Stop!" Alec said panicked.

"Rayne." Cullen said in a firm voice.

Her eye twitched but she stopped what she was doing. With one final sneer, she released her hold on Dorian. Her eyes went to Cullen. "Keep him away from me." She hissed.

She spun around and immediately left the room.

There was an uncomfortable silence for a few heartbeats before Alec finally spoke. "Are you alright, Dorian?"

Dorian inspected his wrist and nodded. "I brought this on myself. It's what I get for acting before I think. A common defect of mine." He tried to say lightly, but Cullen could tell the encounter unnerved him. "I'll be fine. She managed to keep from breaking anything. I will have to apologize for my… blunder."

"I would suggest steering clear of her." Leliana said kindly, but there was sharpness to her eyes. Just like Cullen, she knew Rayne's history with Tevinter mages.

Dorian had enough sense to nod. "I will. But I want to eventually convey my apologies."

"Eventually." Cullen said in a clipped voice. He turned his attention to Alec, getting back on track with their plan. "The plan puts you in the most danger. We cannot in good conscience order you to do this. We can still go after the Templars if you'd rather not play the bait. It's up to you."

Alec didn't answer for a while and then his eyes went to the hall where Rayne was long gone. "I say we take Redcliffe."

Leliana nodded. "I will begin making preparations and selecting the agents to send through."

Cullen nodded and headed to the door.

"Commander?" Leliana called as he exited the room.

He turned. "Yes?"

"I assume you're going to speak with Rayne?"

He nodded. "I-I want to make sure she's…"

Leliana nodded in understanding. "Good. I know how… difficult this situation and our new ally is for her. But I also would like you to convince her to be a part of the team that will be sneaking into the castle."

His eyes widened. "What? Why?"

"She knows those tunnels and the castle better than anyone else I know. The reason we know about that entrance is because we used it during the Blight when the castle had been closed off during the undead siege. Her knowledge will be useful."

He frowned. "You were also there. Why not go yourself?"

"I will be. But I can only lead one group at a time." She explained. "With Rayne there to guide another, it will save time and energy."

Cullen sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

Leliana came closer in order to keep her voice down. "I do not know the extent of your relationship with Rayne—"

"There isn't…" He cut in and then stopped when she glared at him.

"I know you worry about her welfare. As do I. She means a great deal to the both of us. But she is needed. She came here to help the Inquisition in any way she could."

He diverted his gaze and then sighed. "I'll see what I can do." He said softly.

He saw Leliana nod out of the corner of his eye. "I need to go make preparations. If all goes as it should, we should be leaving for Redcliffe day after tomorrow."

Cullen watched her go before going to find Rayne.

She wasn't in her room. He had figured she wouldn't be. But he wanted to make sure. And she was nowhere in the main camp.

Varric was sitting on a long log that acted as a bench reading over a missive.

"Varric, have you seen Rayne?"

The dwarf looked up and nodded down to the training yard. "She went that direction." He tilted his head. "She was… pretty angry. Aiden hot on her heels. So I don't expect her to actually be down there. If I had to take a guess: she took Elgar and Ghost out of Haven."

Cullen sighed. "Of course she would. If anyone comes looking for me will you let them know I went looking for her?"

Varric nodded. "Sure. What's going on, Curly?"

"Nothing good." He grumbled and turned.

Varric had been right. Both the direwolf and saber were missing from the stables. When he asked Iron Bull if he had seen Rayne, the Qunari had pointed to the northern pass. With that he began his hunt.

It didn't take long to find tracks in the snow that could only belong to Elgar. So he was able to track where the group had gone.

About a half hour later, after pushing through some of the deep trees that still surrounded Haven, he found them in a clearing.

Aiden, Elgar and Ghost sat huddled around a fire. Unlike his mother, Aiden was sufficiently bundled up against the cold. It helped having two living fur coats surrounding him and a fire.

The boy heard him and turned his direction. A scowl was on his face and he turned back away to look towards a large boulder.

On top of the boulder Rayne lay across looking up into the sky. Her coat not near heavy enough to fight off the cold, but at least she wore her gloves this time around. Two small rocks circled over her as a distraction for her mind. She did similar things at the tower when a solution to a problem eluded her.

He remembered that she always kept small polished stones that would glitter in the candle light that she would take out when a problem was vexing her. Simply casting them into the air above her head and then using magic to have them circle around her head like some kind of circling halo.

He couldn't help the smile that came to his face at the memory. He used to watch her frequently as she puzzled over books and spells in the library. Often times long into the night. But he never complained. He would study her face and the crease in between her eyebrows as she thought, all the while nibbling on her lower lip.

"You can't tell me you're not cold." He said drawing closer.

Elgar swished his tail, but otherwise did not move from his spot. Ghost raised his head and licked Cullen's outstretched hand in greeting.

"I'll survive." Rayne called down.

"With frostbite." He teased.

"I'm fine." She snapped.

He raised an eyebrow. "Obviously."

"Concerning the cold. Yes. Did you all decide on what to do?"

"We'll be assaulting Redcliffe."

"With the aid of the Tevinter." It wasn't a question and he detected the hint of venom in her voice.

"Yes."

"He shouldn't be  _here._ " Aiden grumbled looking into the fire.

"Perhaps." Cullen said hesitantly, choosing his words with care. "But if he can truly help, then we will need all we can get."

Aiden scoffed. "That's if he isn't part of some plot to just kill Alec."

Rayne sighed. She sat up and released the magic on the rocks. They clattered across the boulder and bounced down to the ground. " _Da'mi na vir."_

Aiden's eyes narrowed.  _"Mamae din."_

She jumped down from the boulder.  _"Sahlin."_  She snapped.

Anger came to the boy's face.

Rayne's shoulders sagged. "Please, Aiden. I never demand you to do anything. Do this once."

His eyes went over to Cullen and then sighed.  _"Ir'abelas."_

She nodded.

Aiden rose and went to her and hugged her tightly.  _"Ma'arlath."_

She smiled down at him and kissed the top of his head.  _"Arlath ma, da'vhenan."_

He released her and began walking back to Haven with Ghost and Elgar in tow.

"And leave Dorian alone." Rayne called after him.

Aiden waved a hand and then disappeared into the trees.

Cullen shook his head. "Always interesting."

"What is?"

He smiled. "Listening to the two of you talk or argue in elvish. It sounds so much more elegant." He teased.

She smiled a bit and chuckled before sitting down by the fire and reaching her hands closer to the flames.

"Why did you teach him elvish? I don't think I ever asked." He sat next to her. "I mean, you're not elven and neither is his father."

"You don't have to be elven to know the language." She said lightly.

"True. You were practically born with the knowledge. But Aiden wasn't."

"No." She shrugged. "He liked how it sounded, so I taught him."

He gave her a lopsided smile. "Kind of leaves the rest of us in the dark in a conversation."

She smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. It's just habit. I was just asking him to return to Haven."

"So…  _da'mi na vir?_  That means return to Haven?"

She laughed. "Not quite.  _Da'mi_  means 'little blade'. One of the many terms of endearment I use for him.  _Na vir_  means…" She paused. "Best translation: go back."

He nodded. " _Mamae_  I recognized. And judging by his reaction,  _din_  was his refusal."

She nodded. " _Enaste_  – yes.  _Din_ is 'no.'"

_"_ _Sahlin?"_

She smirked. "Interested in learning elven?"

He shrugged. "It would make listening to you and Aiden easier. Besides, I like when you speak it."

She shook her head with an amused smile. " _Sahlin_  – Now.  _Ir'abelas –_ I'm sorry.  _Ma'arlath –_ I love you.  _Arlath ma, da'vhenan –_ I love you, little heart."

Cullen stored all that information away.

"If you're really interested in learning, I can teach you." She offered.

He smiled. "I would like that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elven Translations
> 
> _Da'mi na vir_ : Little blade, go back
> 
> _Mamae din_ : Mother, no
> 
> _Sahlin_ : Now
> 
> _Ir'abelas_ : I'm sorry
> 
> _Ma'arlath_ : I love you
> 
> _Arlath ma, da'vhenan_ : I love you, little heart.


	14. Trevelyan

Alec tried to keep his breathing calm as he, Blackwall and Solas walked into the main hall of Redcliffe Castle. Tevinter mages met them at the entrance as well as a steward.

"Announce us." Alec demanded.

The steward came closer. "The magister's invitation was for Master Trevelyan alone." His eyes ticked to Alec's companions. "The others must wait here."

He scowled. "Where I go, they go." He crossed his arms over his chest.

The steward sneered.

He shrugged as if it didn't matter to him whether or not he saw Alexius.

With a sigh the steward turned. "This way."

Taking one final deep breath the trio followed.

Rayne and Leliana had filled him in on the layout of the main hall. But it was something else to see.

It was a big hall with Tevinter mages standing at every column, and every column held a torch lighting up the room. An embroidered green and gold rug covered the white stone floor leading up to the dais which had a simple small wooden straight back throne that didn't look very comfortable with statues of large golden snarling mabari hounds on either side and a huge fire pit behind it. Gold and green drapes hung from the ceiling.

It was all very Ferelden, looking to swallow up the Tevinter intruders.

 **Even the buildings want them gone.**  Alec thought to himself.

Sitting on the throne was Alexius with Felix standing by his side and Fiona standing at the bottom of the dais; making it perfectly clear how Alexius viewed the former Grand Enchanter.

"My lord, Magister." The steward said loudly. "Agents of the Inquisition have arrived."

Alexius raised from his seat a smile on his face. "My friends! It's so good to see you again." He said pleasantly. "And your associates, of course. I'm sure we can work out some arrangement that is equitable to all parties."

Fiona came forward with a scowl on her face. "Are we mages to have no voice in deciding our fate?"

Alexius looked down at her in barely hidden contempt. "Fiona, you would not have turned your followers over to my care if you did not trust me with their lives." He spoke as if speaking to a child.

Alec smiled. "Of course she trusts you, Alexius." He said pleasantly. "I'm sure lots of people put their lives in your hands. You have one of those faces."

Alexius smiled, either he didn't catch Alec's sarcasm or he chose to ignore it. "Yes, the Magisterium tells me that so often. Shall we begin our talks?" He returned to his seat.

Alec exchanged glances with Blackwall. Now it was all about biding time for Leliana, Rayne and the others.

"The Inquisition needs mages to close the Breach," Alexius started. "And I have them. So, what shall you offer in exchange?"

He thought briefly on continuing the charade, but instead decided to take a different route. Really take the magister off his game. "I'd much rather discuss your time magic."

Alexius' eye slightly twitched, but he kept his smile. "I'm afraid I have no idea what you mean."

Felix turned to his father. "He knows everything, Father." His face was filled with sorrow.

Alec felt bad for the young man. It was not an easy thing to betray one's father and country.

Alexius scowled. "Felix, what have you done?"

"You wanted me here." Alec said, regaining his attention. "Why?"

Any pleasant façade Alexius once put on was now gone. "Do you know what you are?" He rose to his feet again. "You walk into my stronghold with your stolen mark, a gift you don't even understand and think you're the one in control?"

Alec approached the dais, Solas and Blackwall stayed behind.

"You're nothing but a mistake." Alexius spat.

"If I'm a mistake what exactly was the Breach supposed to accomplish?"

"It was supposed to be a triumphant moment for the Elder One. For this world!"

Felix shook his head. "Father, listen to yourself! Do you know what you sound like?"

"He sounds exactly like the sort of villainous cliché everyone expects us to be." A new voice cut in.

Alec turned to see Dorian come sauntering into the room and joining him.

Alexius scowled. "Dorian." Obvious displeasure in his voice. "I gave you a chance to be a part of this. You turned me down. The Elder One has power you would not believe. He will raise the Imperium from its own ashes."

Alec frowned. "That's who you serve? The one who killed the Divine. Is he a mage?"

"Soon he will become a god!" Alexius proclaimed. "He will make the world bow to mages once more. We will rule from the Boric Oceans to the Frozen Seas."

Outrage filled Fiona's features. "You can't involve my people this!"

Dorian approached Alexius. "Alexius, this is exactly what you and I talked about never wanting to happen!" Alexius turned his back on the group. "Why would you support this?"

Alec caught movement to his left. His eyes ticked over to see one of the Tevinter mages fall with an arrow to the neck. Another, a black mist slowly enclosed his head; his hands went to his neck trying to remove the mist but it was no good. He silently began to suffocate.

"Stop it, Father!" Felix pleaded. "Give up the Venatori. Let the southern mages fight the Breach and let's go home."

Alexius turned to his son. "No!" Desperation written all over his face. "It's the only way, Felix! He can save you!"

Felix frowned. "Save me?"

Alexius turned away again, unable to keep his son's glare. "There is a way. The Elder One promised." He turned back to Alec and the others. "If I fixed the mistake at the Temple…"

"I'm going to die!" Felix snapped. "You need to accept that."

Alexius shook his head vehemently. His face went hard. "Seize them, Venatori! The Elder One demands this man's life."

Alec turned as he heard an arrow whistle through the air. Grunts and gurgles of pain. Where once Venatori stood, now Inquisition forces now were. One lone Ventori looked frantic until a hand snaked around his head and snapped his neck. Rayne materialized out of the shadows and leaned against the pillar, as if this was all old hat for her. Perhaps it was?

He turned back to Alexius. He and Dorian moving closer. "Your men are dead, Alexius."

Fury erupted on the magisters face. "You… are a mistake! You should never have existed." He lifted his hand.

It began to glow and an amulet rose from his palm.

Dorian's eyes widened. He grabbed his staff. "No!" He lashed out with his staff and magic at the amulet.

The impact caused a rift to erupt from the amulet and it blinded Alec. He heard Dorian call out in shock as well.

And then he felt something hit his head.

* * *

He groaned as his eyes slowly opened, taking in the world around him again. He wasn't sure how long he was out for. Not long if his body was any indicator. But he was no longer in the main hall. He looked around and found himself in a flooded prison cell.

 **Great, another prison cell.**  He thought.

A groan from beside him made him jump.

Dorian slowly rose from the water and shook his head.

Sounds of splashing footsteps caught their attention.

Two Venatori skidded to a halt inside the cell; both seemed very surprised to see them.

"Blood of the Elder One!" One said behind a metal helm that covered his face.

"Where'd they come from?" The other asked.

Not waiting for a reply the two Venatori attacked.

Dorian and Alec were quick to defend themselves and made quick work of the two.

After they were dead, Alec started looking around and didn't like what he saw.

Lyrium.  _Red_  lyrium. It was coming out of the walls all around them. Already Alec was beginning to feel a headache that usually came when he was around the dreadful stuff.

"Displacement." Dorian said looking around. "Interesting. It's probably not what Alexius intended. He must have moved us… to what?" He went to a deposit of lyrium and knelt. "The closest confluence of arcane energy?"

Alec shook his head. "The last thing I remember we were in the castle hall."

Dorian stood back up to be eye level with him. "Let's see. If we're still in the castle… it isn't."

Alec raised an eyebrow.

Dorian's eyes lit up. "Ah, of course! It's not simply where, it's  _when._ " When he saw Alec's confusion he explained. "Alexius used the amulet as a focus. It must have moved us through time!"

He blinked at the other mage, his eyes wide. "That… doesn't sound good."

Dorian nodded. "It sounds terrible. Depending on when we are and what happened while we were away." He turned and searched their cell. "Let's look around. See where the rift took us. Then we can figure out how to get back… if we can."

 **That's reassuring** _._  "What was Alexius trying to do?"

Dorian frowned in thought. "I believe his original plan was to remove you from time completely. If that happened you would have never been at the Temple of Sacred Ashes or mangled his Elder One's plan. I think your surprise in the castle hall made him reckless. He tossed us into the rift before he was ready. I countered it, the magic went wild and here we are. Make sense?"

Alec shook his head. "It just seems so insane!"

"I don't even want to think about what this will do to the fabric of the world. We didn't just travel through time, so much as punch a hole through it and toss it into privy." Dorian gave him a charming smile. "But don't worry. I'm here. I'll protect you."

He cleared his throat, trying to keep the blush from coming to his face. "What happens if we can't get back?"

Dorian's smile fell. "Then we get comfy in our new present."

With a sigh Alec went to the guards and found cell keys, they may come in handy. "Let's go. The sooner we get answers, the sooner we get back."

With the Tevinter mage close behind him, they made their way finally out of the flooded cells and up into the second floor. Which had more cells, but at least they were dry. But they had even more red lyrium growing from the walls.

At the end of the hall there were two stairwells.

He looked to Dorian who shrugged.

Deciding he went up the stairs to the left.

The increase in headache told him they were approaching more lyrium.

As they looked around the cells Dorian  _tsk_ ed behind him. "Alexius has made a dreadful mess of this place, hasn't he?"

"I didn't see this part of the castle."

"It was covered in the tackiest carvings of wolves and dogs I'd ever seen. This is not an improvement."

Alec chuckled. "I think I would take the tacky wolves." When silence answered him, he frowned and turned.

His eyes widened as a figure in black leathers and a mask over their face held Dorian close to them with a dagger to his throat.

"Let him go." He growled through clenched teeth. He reached for his staff…

He cried out as pain exploded in the back of his head and he fell forward onto the ground.

"Wait!" A female voice yelled.

Alec stayed on his hands and knees as he shook his head trying to clear it. All it did was make the headache worse. But he managed to look up and see the masked figure hand Dorian off to another person in similar attire.

That's when he noticed the original captor was a woman. Her leathers clung to her body like a desperate lover showing off all her curves. Whereas the other was definitely a man and slightly taller than Dorian.

The woman slowly approached him with dagger in hand.

Alec didn't move.

She knelt in front of him. She took his face in her hand and tilted it up to her. Her eyes widened.

_Impossibly blue eyes._

"A-alec?" She breathed.

"Rayne?" He asked in bewilderment.

She brought her hands up to her mask and pulled it down.

He winced as he saw the jagged scar that went from the outside of her right eye, over the bridge of her nose to the outside of the left eye. Her black hair was longer, hanging down past her shoulders.

"It's a trap." Snapped the man.

"Commander Cullen?" Alec asked.

The man's eyes narrowed. Still holding onto Dorian tightly he lowered his own mask revealing a face that hadn't changed except for the amount of stubble. His eyes went to Rayne. "It's a trick. The Herald is dead."

Alec brought his eyes to Rayne, pleading to her with his gaze.

She titled her head and took his left hand. She inspected it and sent a shock of power into the mark causing it to flare. A grin broke out in her face as her eyes lined with tears. "It  _is_  you." She said softly.

He smiled.

"Uh, yes. Can you release me now?" Dorian asked.

Rayne stood and narrowed her eyes at him. "It was Dorian, yes?"

He acted hurt. "You don't remember me?"

"I barely spoke to you the last time I saw you." She said dryly. She nodded to Cullen.

With a grunt the Commander released Dorian.

She looked back to Alec. "You died."

He shook his head.

"No, we went through time." Dorian explained. He gave a brief summary of the events in the castle hall.

Rayne shook her head.

"And people wonder why magic is dangerous." Cullen snapped.

She glared at him. "Don't start."

Alec looked back and forth between the two. He had always felt a tension between the mage and ex-templar, but it was a tension of a different nature. Now, all he felt was hostility and a grudging partnership.

Trying to break the hostility, he spoke. "This red lyrium, it's growing from the walls."

Rayne pulled her glare from Cullen.

"Not just the walls." Cullen said sullenly.

Rayne nodded to a skeleton. "But from people too."

Alec's eyes widened. "How?"

"The longer you are near it eventually it begins to grow from you."

Cullen nodded. "Almost like what happened with Meredith in Kirkwall."

"And then they mine your corpse for more."

Dorian shook his head. "Can you tell us the date? It's very important."

"Harvestmere, 9:42 Dragon."

Dorian's jaw nearly fell to the floor. "9:42?! Then we've missed an entire year!"

Rayne nodded.

"I must have missed a lot during that year." Alec quipped.

Rayne's lip twitched trying to hide a smirk.

"What happened?" Alec asked.

She sighed. "Alexius serves the Elder One. More powerful than the Maker." She grumbled.

Cullen shot her a cross look.

"Don't look at me like that." She snapped. "Either the Elder One is more powerful than the Maker or the Maker doesn't give two shits about us. What kind of god would allow the world to become…  _this?"_

The Commander didn't answer, he simply looked away.

"I've never fought a god before." Alec mused. "This should be memorable."

"Our only hope is to find the amulet that Alexius used to send us here." Dorian said. "If it still exists I can use it to reopen the rift at the exact spot we left… maybe."

Cullen turned to them, surprise in his eyes.

Rayne's eyes lit up. "Good!"

Dorian frowned. "I said, maybe. It could also turn us into paste."

Rayne took a step towards him. "You  _must_  try." She shook her head. "This world… you have no idea what we've been through. If this can be made to never happen…"

Alec nodded.

"Leliana is here." Cullen said. His eyes went over to Rayne, a hidden sneer on his face. "As well as a few of your companions. We need to find them, quickly. Before the Elder One realizes you're here."

Alec frowned. "Who else other than Leliana is here?"

"Varric and…  _Solas_." Cullen answered.

He raised an eyebrow at the hint of venom in Cullen's voice when he said the elf's name. Was it because he was a mage? Was that what was causing the hostility between him and Rayne? He couldn't very well fault Cullen for his attitude if the cells of the castle were any indication, he could only imagine what the Tevinter magisters did to the rest of the world.

"Then let's go, before anyone shows up."

Rayne and Cullen nodded in unison. Cullen went to a far corner and grabbed his shield.

With Cullen in the lead to keep any enemies from getting to the three mages behind him, they slowly made their way through the lower cells.

"If you're not prisoners here," Alec asked. "Then what are you doing here?"

Rayne's eyes went to him. "It was supposed to be a rescue mission."

"It's not easy getting in here." Cullen said from up ahead as he stopped by a corner and looked around it to make sure no one was there. "We've been trying… for a long time." He said softly.

"How long have the others been in here? Where is everyone else?" Alec fired. "Josephine, Sera, Blackwall, Iron Bull, Vivienne? What happened to the Inquisition?"

Sadness filled Rayne's eyes. "The Inquisition… after you died. It couldn't stand against the Elder One or the army it had. Red Templars. Demons. We didn't stand a chance."

"Far too many people died on his first assault." Cullen said in a gruff voice.

"Those that weren't killed were brought before the Elder One; most were sent here to grow more lyrium or tortured for information. Some managed to flee, but… not nearly enough. And a lot of those didn't last long. A few of us, we banded together. A last stitch effort I guess you could say, but…" She shook her head. "We're too few. Iron Bull and Blackwall still remain with us, as well as Varric and Solas. The others are either dead or wanted no more part in it. As to how long… too long."

Cullen grunted in agreement.

They pushed their way to another level of cells. "How many floors of cells does this place have?" Grumbled Alec.

Rayne chuckled. "The builders of Redcliffe Castle wanted to make sure they could house criminals I guess."

They all stopped as humming echoed off the walls.

Hesitantly Alec approached a cell and his eyes widened. "Oh, Varric." He said in dismay.

The dwarf sat on the floor, seemingly unchanged except for the weight loss. Until you looked into his eyes. They radiated a red glow. He had been corrupted by the lyrium.

Varric looked up at him, his eyes widened. "Andraste's sacred knickers! You're alive."

Alec quickly unlocked the cell and stood back as Varric rose from the ground.

"Where were you?" Varric almost said accusingly. "How'd you escape?"

Cullen stayed near the door and Rayne searched other nearby cells, a frantic look in her eyes. Dorian gave Varric the rundown.

Varric shook his head and gave Alec a lopsided grin. "Everything that happens to you is weird."

Alec smirked. At least the dwarf hadn't lost his sense of humor. "You might be right about that."

"I'm always right. And when I'm not I lie about it. So, what are you doing here? Or did you just come back to trade quips with me?"

"We get to Alexius and I just might be able to send us back to our own time." Dorian said. "Simple really."

 **Oh, now it's simple?**  Alec thought in amusement.

"That may not be as easy as you think." Varric said seriously. "Alexius is just a servant. His Elder One assassinated the Empress and led a demon army and a huge invasion of the South. The Elder One rules everything. What's left of it anyway. Alexius isn't really the one you need to worry about."

 **Assassinate the Empress, why?**  "Assassinations, invasions and demon armies. I'm a little glad I missed all that."

"Yeah, you lucked out there."

"We have no time for this." Cullen hissed. "We need to go."

Varric nodded. "You want to take on Alexius, I'm in. Let's go."

Finding the next prisoner had been easier.

"Whose there?" A familiar voice called.

Rayne's eyes widened and she rushed to the end cell. "Solas?" Her voice hitched in her throat.

Alec quickly joined her and began unlocking the cell.

The elf's eyes – which were filled with the same red glow as Varric's – fell on him and they widened. "You're alive? We saw you die." His eyes went to Rayne and they softened.

"Solas." She said softly and rushed to him.

Alec didn't know what was stranger: this new future of a magister god and a world gone crazy, or Rayne and Solas embracing each other.

Solas nestled his face into her hair.  _"Vhenan."_  He said tenderly.

Alec's eyes instinctively went to Cullen.

The Commander's eyes were filled with pain as he watched the pair. When he caught Alec looking at him his eyes hardened and he turned away.

 **That is the cause of the hostility** _._  Alec thought.  **He's jealous of Solas and hurt at the loss** _._  He wondered if Rayne ever knew how Cullen felt about her.

"The spell Alexius cast displaced us in time." Dorian explained as the two continued to hold onto each other. "We just got here so to speak."

Solas finally and reluctantly pulled a little back from Rayne, but his hands still encircled her waist as he looked at Dorian. "Can you reverse the process?" He looked at the woman in his arms and back to the others. "You could return and obviate the events of the last year. It may not be too late."

"I'm glad you understood what he just said, because I'm not sure I did." Alec quipped.

Solas shook his head. "You would think such understanding would stop me from making such terrible mistakes. You would be wrong."

"Solas." Rayne said softly.

He shook his head and leaned his head against hers. "I am sorry,  _vhenan_." His voice filled with sorrow.

Rayne placed a hand on his cheek and brought her lips to his.

Alec looked discreetly away. Yes, this definitely was awkward and weird. In his time he had sensed nothing but grudging respect from Rayne concerning Solas. But now… this? He guessed with the end of the world even the most unlikely of romances come to pass.

"Not to interrupt this touching reunion." Cullen's voice cut in. "But we need to go. We still need to find Leliana." He didn't wait for any reply. He turned and exited the cells.

Solas sighed. "Glad to see some things haven't changed while I've been in here." He grumbled. He looked to Rayne. "Aiden and Atisha?"

"They're fine. They're safe."

He exhaled a sigh of relief.

Alec raised a hand. "I'm sorry, Atisha?"

Solas and Rayne looked to one another before turning back to him. "Our daughter." Solas said.

He simply blinked. He was at a loss of words. Just when he thought things couldn't get stranger. "Ah… well." He cleared his throat. "Let's, uh, go catch up to Cullen."


	15. Trevelyan

They fought tooth and nail through the cells and found Leliana. Maker only knew how long they had been torturing her. Where Solas and Varric had been corrupted by red lyrium, Leliana looked like she had aged fifty years. Her skin was nothing but scars and tainted flesh, all sunken in. Her blue eyes now white. She had refused to tell them what was wrong with her, but Rayne knew judging by her face. And she was much harsher. She had no love for mages anymore, not even for Rayne who had been her best friend.

And when they finally made it outside, Alec and Dorian were finally able to see the damage Alexius and his Elder One had caused. The Breach now filled the entire sky; there was nothing but green and black. Any blue there had once been was long gone. Skeletons littered the courtyard, rifts around almost every corner with demons emerging on them.

 **If this is just how Redcliffe castle is, what is the rest of the world like?**  Alec thought in dismay as they slowly made their way up to an intricate door that had been built at the entrance of the main hall.

Despite being corrupted with red lyrium Varric and Solas were holding up better than the rest of their group. Everyone else was tired and sore, but they knew they couldn't stop.

Cullen pulled out a flask of shimmering liquid from a pouch on his belt as they waited for Dorian to fit lyrium key stones into the door.

"Nice to see there is regular lyrium still out in the world." Alec said.

"Not much." Cullen said as he studied the vial. A hungry and loathing look on his face.

"You should drink it, Cullen." Rayne said. She leaned against Solas with his arms wrapped around her on the other side of the hall. "We will need every advantage that we can get in there."

"I know." His voice was pained. He took a deep breath and pulled the lid off the top of the vial and swallowed down its contents in one swallow. After it was finished he threw the now empty vial and it shattered on the wall.

"There." Dorian declared and stood back.

Everyone approached and watched the magic in the door react to the lyrium crystals activating the spell within.

"Everyone ready?" Alec said.

Everyone nodded and followed him inside.

The main hall was quiet and empty save two figured on the dais. Like the rest of the castle, red lyrium lined the walls. Tevinter banners now hung on the walls, the throne was gone but the snarling dogs were still intact.

Alexius stood on the dais facing away from them, staring into the flames of the fire pit. A strange creature knelt beside him.

"No Venatori this time Alexius? Where is the trap? Your guards?" Alec called as they approached

Alexius barely turned his head to them. "There's no longer any point. I knew you would appear again. Not that it would be now. But I knew I hadn't destroyed you. My final failure."

Dorian drew closer to the older man. "Was it worth it?" He asked. "Everything you did to the world? To yourself?"

"It doesn't matter now." He replied. "All we can do is wait for the end."

Alec scowled. "It  _does_  matter. I will undo this."

"How many times have I tried? The past cannot be undone. All that I fought for, all I betrayed and what have I wrought? Ruin and death, there is nothing else. The Elder One comes for me, for you, for us all."

Alec's eyes widened as he saw Leliana emerge from the shadows and grab the creature that was knelt beside the magister. He hadn't even been aware that she had moved from behind him.

She brought the creature close to her and held a knife under its throat.

Alec's eyes narrowed as he studied the creature. It looked vaguely familiar and in Tevinter robes.

Alexius spun around as soon as he saw the creature had been taken. He held out a hand imploringly, eyes were frantic. "Felix!"

Dorian gasped. "That's Felix?" He said in horror. His face filled with fury. "Maker's Breath, Alexius! What have you done?!"

Alexius brought his gaze to Dorian. "He would have died, Dorian! I saved him!"

 **That's saving him?**  Alec thought in disgust. He had never seen anything like what Felix had now become. His skin was pale and looked like a fish belly and diseased. What little black hair he hadn't shaved before was gone, only grey patches remained on his head. His face and eyes were sunken in. And his eyes… They were vacant and devoid of color.

"Please! Don't hurt my son!" Alexius begged Leliana. "I will do anything you ask."

Alec took a step closer. "Hand over the amulet and we let him go."

"Let him go and I swear you get what you want."

A hard glint came to Leliana's eyes that Alec didn't like. "I want the world back." She hissed.

Before he or anyone else could stop her, Leliana slit Felix's throat. Black blood burst from him.

Raw pain and rage filled Alexius' features. Hatred poured off of him to Leliana. "No!" The staff he held in his hand hit the floor.

A magical kinetic burst threw them all away from him.

Cullen was the first to regain his footing and he charged the magister. Alec felt the familiar sensation that occurred when a Templar tapped into the power that lyrium gave them.

Dorian only hesitated briefly, taking in the still form of Felix and a grief stricken Alexius before he too joined the fray.

* * *

Dorian bent over Alexius' body. Sorrow filled his face.

Alec slowly approached him.

"He wanted to die, didn't he?" Dorian asked and looked up at him. "All those lies he told himself, the justifications. He lost Felix long ago, didn't even notice." He shook his head and took the amulet from Alexius' hand and rose to his feet. "Oh, Alexius."

"This Alexius was too far gone." Alec said gently. "But the Alexius in our time might still be reasoned with."

"I suppose that's true." He studied the amulet. "This is the same amulet he used before. I think it is the same one we made in Minrathous. That's a relief. Give me an hour to work out the spell he used. And I should be able to reopen the rift."

Leliana rushed to them. "An hour?! That's impossible. You must go now!"

The ground began to shake under their feet. Everyone stumbled trying to keep their footing.

"The Elder One." Leliana exclaimed.

"There's a reason they won." Rayne said as she moved around the room.

Solas, Varric, Rayne and Cullen all exchanged looks.

Varric nodded.

Rayne turned to Alec. "We'll go on ahead. Take out as many as we can." She turned to Leliana. "Leliana, you're the last line of defense, give them what you got."

Alec's gut twisted as he took them all in. He didn't want them to sacrifice themselves for him. But as he looked at them… Varric and Solas corrupted, Leliana tainted, Cullen and Rayne… He knew they were all dead as it was. He finally nodded. "We'll make this count."

"The only way we live is if this day never comes." Leliana said.

Varric headed out first.

Solas lagged behind and brought Rayne to him. He kissed her hard and deeply, tears glistened at the edges of her eyes.  _"Arlath ma, vhenan."_  He finally said as he pulled away.

"And I love you." She whispered.

Not wasting another moment they spun around and raced after Varric.

Cullen turned to him. "Herald…" He voice caught.

Alec simply nodded in understanding.

Cullen's eyes went to Leliana. "I pray we never see each other like this again."

Leliana nodded. "As do I. Now go."

* * *

Alec paced the hall; it was the longest hour of his life. He couldn't do anything to help Dorian, so he had helped Leliana set up a defense position.

Every time he heard a scream from somewhere in the castle he gritted his teeth, trying hard to not think who had just fallen.

Dorian sweated as he worked the magic in the amulet.

Screeching of demons drew closer.

Leliana drew her bow and aimed at the door that they had made a feeble attempt at blocking. "Cast your spell." She called to Dorian. "You have as much time as I have arrows."

Another wail of a demon…

"Though darkness closes, I am shielded by flame." Leliana recited.

The door burst open and a tall terror demon stalked through. In its hand it held the limp body of Varric. It threw the lifeless corpse onto the floor as magisters swarmed behind him eager to get to their prey.

An arrow erupted from the throat of one magister. And another.

"Andraste guide me." Leliana mumbled. "Maker take me to your side."

Alec watched in horror as she cried out in pain as an arrow pierced her shoulder. He automatically started to go to her to help.

A hand grabbed him. He turned.

Dorian shook his head. "You move, and we all die!"

Gritting his teeth he stepped back closer to Dorian who went back to work on the amulet. Green energy began to pulse from it and a rift finally opened.

A high wail made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. He turned and his eyes widened as the terror demon had grabbed Leliana and held its clawed hands to her face.

Conflicts raged within Alec. He knew that leaving her would actually be saving her, but it was still hard.

Leliana caught his eye and nodded.

A blinding light filled the room, keeping him from seeing what came next. But it did not help the sickening feeling in his stomach as he knew what occurred.

When the light dissipated he spun around and found Alexius wide eyed in disbelief.

He took in the rest of the scene.

Blackwall and Solas stood nearby. Rayne slowly walked to him a look of confusion on her face. All three were unscarred and uncorrupted.

"You'll have to do better than that." Dorian said.

Alec turned as Alexius collapsed to his knees. "Put aside all claim to Redcliffe and we let you live."

Alexius hung his head in defeat. "You've won. There is no point in extending this charade."

Felix went to his father.

Alexius turned to him. "Felix." He said in sadness.

Felix gave him a sad smile. "It's going to be alright, Father." And knelt beside him.

"You'll die."

"Everyone dies." He said softly.

Alexius closed his eyes tight and nodded.

Alec motioned to the Inquisition forces. They moved quickly and grabbed Alexius. They gently raised him to his feet and ushered him out a side door. Felix followed close behind.

Dorian sighed as he came to Alec's side. "Well, I'm glad that's over with." He said pleasantly

Alec smirked, but then Rayne caught his attention.

Her body went rigid and eyes wide. She turned to the main door and then rushed back into the shadows behind the pillars.

He frowned, but before he could say anything, the main door slammed open.

He fully turned to a small contingent of soldiers wearing colored plate armor of browns, reds and gold with two fighting mabari emblazoned on their shoulders.

 **Ferelden soldiers.**  Alec thought.

"Or not." Dorian said.

Another man entered behind the regiment in simpler livery of light brown leather and fur to fight Ferelden cold, but looked capable of going into a fight if need be.

The man was slightly taller than him and built very much like a warrior. He had short blonde hair that was styled back. An artisan nose that looked to have a small bump that was nearly negligible, which said that he had broken his nose at least once in his life time. His skin was tanned from spending so much time in the sun. There was a small scar on his left cheek. Stubble covered his chin and around his mouth. His warm amber eyes, that no doubt would have been attractive at any other time, were filled with fury. And he looked mildly familiar.

Fiona, who had not moved from her spot at the bottom of the dais, paled.

"Grand Enchanter." Their new guest said, trying hard to keep his voice calm. But Alec could hear the underlying anger. "Imagine how surprised I was to learn you'd given Redcliffe Castle away to a Tevinter magister."

Fiona hesitantly approached him. "King Alistair!"

Alec's eyes widened.  _This_  was King Alistair? The man that fought beside the Hero of Ferelden during the Blight? Who was a Grey Warden himself? Alec had never met the Fereldan King, only stories.

Thinking about the female mage, his eyes ticked over to where he had seen her go but saw no sign of her. Was she hiding from him? Why?

Alistair continued unaware of Alec's thoughts or the fact that Rayne had been there moments before. "Especially since I'm fairly sure Redcliffe belongs to Arl Teagan."

"Your Majesty. We never intended…" Fiona began.

Alistair frowned. "I  _know_  what you intended." He said through clenched teeth, cutting her off. His face softened briefly, the anger leaving with it. "I wanted to help you, but you've made it impossible." His eyes hardened again. "You and your followers are no longer welcome in Ferelden."

Fiona's eyes widened as she was taken back. "But… we have hundreds who need protection! Where will we go?"

Alec finally moved from his spot.

Alistair immediately noticed him move closer. His eyes narrowed.

He moved to Fiona's side. "I should point out that we did come here for mages to close the Breach."

Fiona frowned. "And what are the terms of this arrangement?"

Dorian came forward. "Hopefully better than what Alexius gave you." His eyes went to Alec. "The Inquisition  _is_  better than that, yes?"

"No one fights well for their captors." Blackwall chimed in.

"It seems we have little choice but to accept whatever you offer." Fiona said to Alec.

Alec smiled at her. "We would be honored to have you fight as allies at the Inquisition's side."

Fiona's eyebrows rose in surprise. "A generous offer." She frowned. "But will the rest of the Inquisition honor it?"

"The Breach threatens all of Thedas. We cannot afford to be divided now. We can't fight it without you. Any chance of success requires your full support."

"I'd take that offer if I were you." Alistair said. "One way or another, you're leaving my kingdom."

Fiona flinched under his glare. She turned her eyes back to Alec. "We accept. It would be madness not to. I will gather my people and ready them for the journey to Haven. The Breach will be closed. You will not regret giving us this chance."

She bowed her head and turned. She hesitated briefly and bowed deeply to the king and then quickly scurried out of the castle.

Alec turned to a nearby agent. "Help her. Make sure that anything that needs to be done is taken care of."

The agent nodded and ran after the enchanter.

Alistair shook his head but held his peace. He gave Alec one last look before spinning around and began heading to the door.

He stopped half way through the hall and tilted his head. He turned to look into the shadows with a frown on his face.

Alec followed his gaze but saw nothing.

After a few moments he shook his head and left.

When he was gone, Rayne emerged from the shadows and sighed in relief.

 _That_  was a story for another time.


	16. Trevelyan

Alec entered the Chantry and heard yelling. He wasn't looking forward to whatever wroth was about to come his way.

He had just returned from Redcliffe with a few of Fiona's mages with him. She had stayed behind to help with efforts to move the mages to Haven along with some Inquisition forces.

Rayne had left to return to Haven soon after the king left to inform the others of their victory and help bring Alexius in for judgment.

And Dorian… he had vanished. Without saying a word good bye.

Alec found Cullen, Leliana, Josephine and Cassandra in a heated argument. Rayne stood off to the side. His eyes ticked back and forth between the mage and ex-Templar and couldn't help the thoughts running through his head of the future he had helped prevent.

"It's not a matter for debate." Cullen snapped at Josephine. "There will be abominations among the mages and we must be prepared."

"If we resend the offer of an alliance it makes the Inquisition appear incompetent at best, tyrannical at worst." Josephine snapped back.

Cullen finally noticed Alec and he frowned. "What were you thinking? Turning mages loose with no oversight? The Veil is torn open!"

"We need them to close the Breach." Alec said calmly. "It's not going to work if we make enemies of them."

"I know we need them for the Breach," Cullen said. "But they could do as much damage as the demons themselves."

"Enough!" Rayne yelled pushing herself off the pillar she was leaning against. Fatigue and anger brightened her eyes. "What's done is done! Fighting about it now does nothing!" Her eyes went to Alec. "A decision had to be made, and it's been made. We cannot afford to second guess our people."

Cullen flinched under the volume of her voice and probably the spark of anger and hurt in her eyes.

"The sole point of the Herald's mission was to gain the mage's aid. And that was accomplished." Cassandra put in.

"The voices of pragmatism speak. And here I was starting to enjoy the circular arguments." A new voice cut in.

Surprised – and slightly thrilled, Alec turned and found a smirking Dorian leaning on a pillar nearby.

Cassandra turned to Dorian. "Closing the Breach is all that matters."

Alec nodded. "Closing the Breach will require a lot of magic and that means lyrium. I have contacts that can help."

Leliana smirked. "Contacts meaning smugglers? Send them word. We need every advantage."

Cullen frowned. "We have legitimate lyrium supply lines already."

"And they don't need to hear of this." Leliana said.

Josephine thought a moment and then nodded. "Keep it under the table. And I'll do what I can to quiet rumors."

Solas entered about that time.

Leliana turned her attention back to Alec. "We should look into the things you saw in this dark future. The assassination of Empress Celene? A demon army?"

"Sounds like something a Tevinter Cult might do." Dorian quipped. "Orlais falls. The Imperium rises! Chaos for everyone."

Cullen frowned. Alec was beginning to think he was going to have a perpetual frown on his face for a while. "One battle at a time. It's going to take time to organize our troops and the mage recruits."

Alec kept his face still as his eyes ticked back and forth between Solas and Rayne. "Well, not everything was dark in the future."

Leliana raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Yes, for instance no one had to worry about sun burns anymore. And Solas and Rayne's daughter Atisha."

"What?!" Solas and Rayne exclaimed together, eyes wide. Alec expected that. But Cullen's added voice wasn't.

He had to keep from busting out laughing.

Rayne and Solas exchanged glances and both their noses crinkled as they moved further away from each other.

"Please tell me you're kidding." Rayne said.

"Not according to the two of you in between tender kisses." Dorian said pleasantly.

She made a disgusted noise and turned away. "I'm going to bed."

Solas just raised an eyebrow.

Cullen watched her go and then shook his head. "Let's take this to the War Room." His eyes went back to Alec and he attempted a shaky smile. "Join us. None of this means anything without your mark, after all."

Alec nodded. "Of course."

"I'll skip the War Council." Dorian said, as if he had been the one invited. "But I would like to see this Breach up close if you don't mind."

Alec raised an eyebrow. "Then you're… staying?"

Dorian gave him a charming smile. "Oh, didn't I mention? The south is so charming and rustic; I adore it to little pieces." He said sarcastically.

Alec smiled. "There's no one I'd rather be stranded in time with. Future or present."

Dorian's smile widened. "Excellent choice! But let's not get stranded in any time soon, yes?"

"I'll begin preparations to march on the summit." Cullen said. "Maker willing, the mages will be enough to grant us victory."

* * *

"That's not the point!" Cullen snapped.

Alec had been in a conversation with Blackwall when the Commander's voice had interrupted. He turned.

Even at the distance, he could see the tension between Cullen and Rayne.

With a groan he turned back to Blackwall who was watching the exchange with a raised eyebrow. "Excuse me, Warden Blackwall."

The Warden smirked. "Time to play referee between a mage and a Templar?" He asked in amusement.

"Something like that." Alec mumbled.

The mage had her hands on her hips and her eyes bright with anger. "You  _do_ know how possession works for mages, yes?"

Cullen's jaw clenched. "Of course. Or have you forgotten the Blight and Kirkwall?"

"No, but apparently you have."

His eyes went dark. "There is nothing I've forgotten about that time." His voice was hard. "It still haunts me."

Rayne hesitated only briefly. Alec could see the indecision to continue whatever argument they were having. Her anger won out. "Oh? Because the way you make it sound that at any moment a mage taking their next breath will end up possessed. Have you forgotten that  _I am_  a mage?"

"Of course not!"

"Should I expect to be watched and followed too?"

"O-of course not." Cullen stammered. "But not every mage is like you."

"And not every mage is like Anders. Or Uldred."

The Commander flinched at the mention of the second name.

"A mage has to allow the possession. We're not all as weak." Rayne continued.

"Not every mage is as strong either." Cullen's voice no longer held its anger. Now it was filled with something close to remorse.

She shook her head. "We're stronger than you or the Chantry gives us credit for." There was still sharpness to her voice. Her eyes went to Alec just realizing he was there.

Cullen's eyes followed hers and he flushed.

"I'm done here." Rayne snapped. She turned to Alec and nodded. "Herald. Excuse me while I go find a Templar to watch over me, since at any moment I'll apparently turn into an abomination." She turned on her heel and stalked off.

"Rayne…" Cullen called.

She didn't stop or turn. She simply raised her hand waving him away.

The Commander growled in frustration and rubbed the back of his neck. Grumbling, he went to his command tent.

Alec hesitated a moment and then followed after him.

Cullen was bent over a table with maps and missives strewn across with his hands to brace himself against it. His eyes were shut tight and jaw clenched. His face was screwed in a look of severe pain.

"Commander…" Alec said hesitantly.

He attempted to release the tension in his body, but it didn't work. "Is there something you needed of me, Herald?" His voice was tense.

Alec looked over his shoulder and entered the tent. "Other than to make sure everything is alright?"

Cullen didn't answer right away. Finally he took a deep steadying breath and released more tension in his body and face. He finally opened his eyes and looked up.

Alec studied those amber eyes that were filled with pain, and he figured it had to do with more than the argument with Rayne. And as he continued to study them, he finally came to a realization.

The reason why King Alistair had looked familiar even though Alec had never met him; he looked a lot like Cullen.

"I didn't intend us to bring so much attention to our… discussion." Cullen said in a tired voice.

Alec shrugged. "I doubt anyone else noticed."

Cullen scoffed and slowly stood straight and laid his hands on the pommel of the sword at his hip. "If you heard us, I'm sure many others did."

"You're upset with the alliance I made with the mages." It wasn't a question.

"I just feel we should take precautions." Cullen said quickly and then sighed heavily. "I've seen the suffering magic can inflict. I've treated mages with distrust because of it – at times without cause. That was unworthy of me. I will try not to do so here.

"But… Rayne felt I that I am trying to establish a crude Circle with the mages here." He diverted his gaze. "I- I don't like her thinking that I want to lock her up. Far from it. If there is any one… any  _mage_  that I trust, it's her."

"I'm a mage." Alec pointed out. "Do you think I am a threat?"

Cullen quickly brought his eyes back in surprise. "Of course not!" And then hesitated. "The only possible threat I see with you, is the mark on your hand. And that has nothing to do with you. It's the fact of not knowing exactly what  _it_  can do."

"Fair enough." Alec amended. "But, I am still a mage. If you plan on having the others watched, you're going to have to do the same with me… and no doubt Rayne."

Cullen cringed at the thought.

Alec came closer. "I will not say we mages are not dangerous." He said slowly. "But a child running around with a sharp blade is just as dangerous. To themselves and others." He paused and smirked. "Unless that child is Aiden."

A warm smile came to the Commanders face. "Yes, he's just a danger to his enemies." He said in amusement.

Alec detected warmth and love in Cullen's voice. He decided to use that to get off the current topic. "You've known him a long time?"

He nodded. "I've been a part of his life since he was three. We were… very close." He said softly.

Alec thought to the young boy and his features. "Commander, may I ask a question? A personal one."

Cullen shrugged. "Of course."

"Are you... Aiden's father?"

Cullen raised an eyebrow. "What would give you that impression?"

Alec shrugged. "How close you two are… and his physical appearance…"

"Of course not. T-that doesn't mean of course that I wouldn't have…" His cheeks flushed. "That is…" He took a deep breath to steady himself. "No. I'm not."

Alec gave him a lopsided smile. "Would you tell me if you were?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Cullen asked. "It's not as if I'm ashamed of him. I feel the complete opposite in fact. I'm very proud of the young man he's becoming."

Alec shrugged. "Rayne has never mentioned who his father is. I just thought maybe you two had to keep it secret? Being part of the Templar Order and even though she is a Grey Warden, she is a mage. Or she just wanted to raise him alone."

"There would be no point in keeping it a secret any longer." He gave Alec a sidelong look. "What makes you think we've even… had relations?"

He suppressed the laugh that was threatening to come out of him at the Commander being so uncomfortable with such a topic. Give him demons, mages and abominations to fight and he'll never falter. Talk about sex and he becomes a shy school boy.

"She said you two were once in a relationship."

"She told you that?" He sighed and shook his head. "Of course she did. We were at the Tower at the time of that. We couldn't really… uh… have privacy for such a thing."

"Perhaps. But you no doubt saw each other again after the Blight? Before you went to Kirkwall."

Cullen's eyes darkened. "I was not in a good state back then." He refused to elaborate.

Alec thought a moment,  **perhaps it has to do with something else** _?_ "Do Templars take vows? 'I swear to the Maker to watch all the mages' – that sort of thing?"

"There's a vigil first. You're meant to be at peace during that time, but your life it about to change. When it's over, you give yourself to a life of service. That's when you're given a philter – your first draught of lyrium – and its power. As Templars, we are not to seek wealth or acknowledgement. Our lives belong to the Maker and the path we have chosen."

Alec nodded. "A life of service and sacrifice." He hesitated only briefly before continuing his next question. "Are Templars also expected to give up… physical temptations?"

Cullen blinked a few times. "Physical? Why…" He cleared his throat. "Why would you… That's not expected. Templars can marry – although there are rules around it, and the Order must grant permission… some may choose to give up more to prove their devotion, but it's, um, not required."

"Have you?"

His cheeks began to turn crimson. "Me? I… um… no. I've taken no such vows." He rubbed the back of his neck.

Alec couldn't help the twitch to the corner of his lip as he hid the smile.

Cullen frowned as if realizing something. "Wait, you think that is why I never… that Rayne and I…"

Alec shrugged.

The Commander flushed. "That's not why."

"So you're saying you would have? If given the opportunity?"

"I… that is… Maker's breath." He said in exasperation. "Can we speak of something else?"

Alec couldn't contain the smile he'd been holding back any longer. "You know, you could  _try_  telling her…"

"No." Cullen said adamantly. "And I'd prefer you kept this to yourself."

He shrugged as if it didn't matter to him one way or another. "Suit yourself." He went to the tent's entrance. "I have to wonder though when she and Solas will end up together to make that daughter of theirs."

He said it as an off the hand comment. But he got the reaction he wanted.

Cullen paled, but otherwise didn't say anything


	17. Amell

She rubbed her head trying to get rid of the headache that she had since the night before. Stress was fraying her nerves. Who knew that being an advisor to the Herald of Andraste was more trying than fighting an army of darkspawn?

Rayne took a deep breath and looked down below. She was standing on the small rise in the center of camp that looked over where Varric had set up a tent as his lodging since joining the Inquisition. She leaned over the stone wall watching as Aiden sat next to the fire with the dwarf reading  _The Tale of the Champion_. She didn't understand why her son loved that book so much. He had lived it after all.

The crunch of snow behind her caught her attention, but she didn't turn. "Come to chastise me for my display?"

"No." Alec said as he leaned against the wall with her.

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "I didn't intend for us to draw attention."

He smirked. "You sound like Cullen."

"Spoke to him already, did you?"

"Yes. When choosing who to talk to first, he seemed like the safer option."

She raised an eyebrow.

"He has a less chance of roasting me with fire than you do." He said in amusement.

She rolled her eyes. "I do have some control… I would only have roasted your feet."

Alec grinned and shook his head. "Want to talk about it?"

She sighed. "No matter mine and his friendship, we have always butted heads on some subjects."

"Like concerning mages? You believe they should have their freedom?"

"It's more complicated than that. Cullen's not wrong. The people need some safe guard against mages should they get out of control. I just don't believe they should be treated like prisoners unable to live lives. To be afraid of sneezing wrong and being made Tranquil for it."

Alec raised an eyebrow. "That's a little over exaggerated isn't it?"

She scoffed. "You never met Meredith. The things she wielded the iron for…" She shook her head and then stood straight still using her hands to brace herself against the wall. "I don't condone what Anders did in Kirkwall, but I can understand why he did it. This is why I'm not very popular with the mages or Templars."

"What do you mean?"

"I may be a mage, but most mages want nothing to do with me because I don't shout for mage freedom. And because I am a mage, Templars don't trust me no matter what I do and the fact that I feel mages shouldn't be treated as prisoners. I have seen the horrors that can come from a weak mage or a power hungry one.

"We're dangerous. But the Templars and people think we're the only ones in this world that  _are_. As if warriors with the Maker on their side would never hurt anyone. I sit on the white picket fence, so to speak."

He raised an eyebrow. "White picket fence?"

She smirked. "How do you think sitting on a white picket fence feels?"

He frowned. "I'd wager it would be very uncomfortable and hurt."

She nodded. "Exactly. Having the stance I have, that I see both sides of the argument equally, it has hurt my relationship with both parties involved."

Alec tilted his head. "So, what do you think should be done?"

She sighed. "I don't know. I just know we can't have one extreme or the other. We need to find a middle ground. It doesn't help there is so much distrust between the mages and Templars. Even long before Kirkwall." She was silent a few moments. "Can we talk about something else? All this is doing is giving me a headache… more of a headache."

"Not enjoying being part of the Inquisition?" He teased.

"It says something that I would prefer an army of approaching darkspawn over dealing with politics."

Alec laughed.

"Glad you're amused." She grumbled.

"Sorry." He said through chuckles. "Okay, change of topic then. The future."

Rayne raised an eyebrow. "Uh… it comes one day at a time?"

"You, Solas and Atisha."

She rolled her eyes. "Seriously?"

"What?" He asked innocently.

She wasn't buying it. "Fine. What about it?"

"So the two of you…"

"Oh, for fuck's sake." She grumbled. "You saw that in a world that was tearing itself a part. We were fighting for our lives against something claiming to be a  _god._  Something tells me I probably had limited options."

"Not  _that_  limited." He mumbled.

She raised an eyebrow.

"I mean… Cullen and Blackwall were around."

"Yes. The Templar, the Grey Warden and the apostate elf mage." She said dryly. "Can't imagine why I would choose Solas from those options." She scrunched her nose. "Actually, I can."

He smirked. "You don't like him."

"Not like  _that._ "

"Okay, but what about just as a colleague or friend?"

"I respect his knowledge and abilities as a mage. Beyond that..." She shook her head. "Atisha. You can tell he chose that name."

"Why do you say that?"

"Atisha is elven, it means peace." A new voice cut in.

They turned and saw Dorian with a smirk on his face.

"Do you make it a habit to eavesdrop?" Rayne said annoyed. She didn't like being spied upon, especially by a Tevinter.

"Settling in Dorian?" Alec asked with a charming smile.

She suppressed a groan.

"Yes, me and a very chatty squirrel got well acquainted early this morning. Along with a stick in the back."

Rayne snickered. "Poor little Vint." She said and turned away. She could feel Alec's glare on the back of her neck.

Aiden was looking up and her. His eyes darted back and forth between her and Dorian.

She shook her head slightly, indicating she was fine.

"I didn't realize the cabin was so run-down." Alec said. Rayne could hear the irritation in his voice.

"It won't kill him to toughen up a little bit, Alec." She said.

"It will be fine." Dorian said with no malice in his voice. "I'm sure I can spruce it up.

"If you need any help…" Alec offered.

Rayne couldn't contain herself anymore. "Will you two get a room already? Oh wait, since you're going to be helping him, I guess you will have one."

"Rayne!" Alec said.

She didn't have to see his face to know he was probably blushing.

Dorian chuckled. "I see you're as charming as everyone says you are."

"That's me. Full of charm, diplomacy and grace." She said dryly.

"Well, at least one of those three is true." Alec said sarcastically.

"So glad you noticed." She quipped. "Can I help you with something Tevinter?"

"Are you going to always call me that?"

"More than likely."

Dorian sighed and she heard the crunch of snow as he came closer.

Rayne forced her body not to tense up. She didn't want him to know how much he made her feel uncomfortable.

"I… wanted to apologize." He finally said.

She turned her head enough to see him out of the corner of her eye and raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Doesn't that go against every Tevinter law or something?"

To his credit, Dorian smirked in amusement. "I'm pretty sure there are at least three laws stating a Tevinter citizen can't admit to a mistake."

"Only three?"

"I'm sure they are working on a few more in more eloquent terms."

"And just what exactly are you apologizing for?"

"For last night and… trying to get a closer look at your markings. I tend to act before thinking when something catches my interest."

"I'm so glad they interest you." She turned back away.

He didn't answer right away. "I remember when Danarius had dubbed his success with his elven slave—"

"Fenris."

"I'm sorry?" He said in confusion.

"His name. It was Fenris."

"You… know him?"

"I did."

Dorian took in that information and continued. "I also remember when Galerius came back from the Free Marches."

"Who are these people?" Alec asked in bewilderment.

Rayne was silent for a short time as she looked down at her son. "They were Tevinter Magisters." Her voice was hollow. "Danarius had been the master of an elf that he called Fenris."

"That name sounds familiar."

"If you've read Varric's  _The Tale of the Champion_ , you'll find him in there. As for Galerius…" Her voice became low. "He did this to me."

"I was just a young boy then. But I remember because of how angry he was at losing his prize." He hesitated. "Those markings, they distinctly have his mark."

"Lovely." She said dryly.

"To be honest, I didn't think anyone would have been able to survive the procedure."

"Fenris did. Became one helluva warrior too."

"Yes, but he wasn't a mage. A mage with lyrium branded into their skin? Lyrium is lethal to a mage."

"Only raw lyrium. Galerius was at least intelligent enough to make sure it was altered."

"In any case. I shouldn't have attempted to get a closer look. It was foolish and inconsiderate. I know it must not be easy to carry such a mark."

Rayne took a deep breath and turned side face to him. "No, it's not. But I've endured them for all my life and have come to terms with them."

Dorian studied her and nodded. "Have you ever thought to have them removed?"

She scrunched her nose. "And have grotesque scars instead of lyrium ones? I'll pass. At lease these are shiny."

"Of course. But if you should ever wish to… I'd be happy to help investigate safe methods."

She raised an eyebrow. "You're offer is appreciated. You're different from other Tevinter mages I've met."

Dorian smirked. "Met any other than Galerius?"

"I spent some time in Tevinter years ago." Her lip curled at the memory. "Not a lot. But enough to realize I wanted to punch or kill nearly ever mage there."

He laughed. "Yes, my fellow countrymen can have that effect. But I would like to hope that maybe eventually you won't want to do either of those things to me."

Rayne studied him a moment and then shrugged. "Weirder things have happened."

"Rayne?"

Her eyes ticked behind the other mages to an approaching Leliana and Solas. "Yes?"

Leliana nodded to Dorian and Alec. "The senior mages that were sent ahead from Redcliffe arrived. I would like you and Solas to go to the Temple and start preparations. After the mages are rested, we will march there."

"Should I not go?" Alec asked.

Solas shook his head. "Not required at the moment. Make sure you are well rested and gather as much strength as possible. You will be doing the big work, Rayne and I will just be making final preparations."

Rayne sighed. "Alright. Let me tell Aiden."

* * *

A half hour later they were climbing the mountain to the Temple.

"When was the last time you were here?" Solas asked.

She turned her head to him watching him navigate the ice and snowy terrain using his staff as a walking stick. "Since the Blight. We had to navigate through the mass of tunnels in the mountain."

"And you said there was a cult here?"

She nodded, stepping around a patch of ice.

"Must be a relief to see them gone."

She scoffed. "I'm not sure what is better: dragon worshiping cult or complete destruction."

"Fair point."

She smirked. "You're scrambling for a topic."

He shrugged. "Be a quiet walk otherwise. Which, granted, isn't always a bad thing."

"You're scrambling to come up with a topic that doesn't have to do with the Herald's news of the future he foresaw if we fail."

Solas' cheeks turned a light shade of pink. The first time she had ever seen any signs embarrassment from him.

"Do you  _want_  to talk about it?"

He shrugged. "It's a future we are trying to prevent, hopefully we will. In truth it would be pointless to discuss it." He paused.

"But…"

"But… I can't help but wonder what caused us to be drawn to each other."

Rayne had spent a while the previous night thinking about that too. Solas wasn't unattractive. On the contrary, even with his bald head, he was a good looking elf. He was intelligent, having someone around that she didn't have to dumb down her own knowledge with was refreshing.

But he was arrogant and he had the extreme opinion for mage freedom. Not fanatical like Anders, of course.

When she remained quiet in thought, Solas continued. "Perhaps that is the pull I felt." Referring to their last private conversation before he left for the Orlais capital.

She stopped dead in her tracks. Or at least tried to.

Her foot slid on some hidden ice and she fell backwards.

Rayne squeezed her eyes shut as she anticipated the crash to the cold hard ground, envisioning her skull cracking down on a rock.

Instead she felt arms wrap around her and her head hit a hard chest.

"Are you alright?" Solas asked with a worried tone.

She blinked rapidly, her brain still processing that she didn't crack her head. Her heart pounded in her ears.

"Rayne?"

"I-I'm fine."

Solas gently raised her to her feet his eyes filled with concern. "Your feet? Ankles? Legs?"

She did a small jump. "All good." She took a deep settling breath.

He watched her a few moments before nodding and continuing on their journey.

She followed close behind in quiet, being more mindful of her step. But she couldn't help but replay his words.  **Ugh.**


	18. Amell/Cullen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did this chapter slightly different. Combining view points instead of breaking them into separate chapters since it changes perspective more than previous chapters. As before: note the Chapter title to know whose perspective.

She watched as Solas coordinated the four mages on the rise above them, making sure they were all in strategic magical positions. A fifth was on the ground level standing ready.

Rayne stood next to Cassandra and Alec. The Herald was watching the mark on his hand fluctuate with power being so close to the Breach.

Solas finally nodded and came down to the ground level and joined them. He took Alec's hand and studied it once more to make sure all was stable.

"Are we ready?" Rayne asked.

Solas nodded to her.

She went to join the mage on the ground level and summoned her staff to her hand in a brilliant violet flash.

Cassandra and Solas turned to them.

"Mages!" Cassandra called, her voice echoing around them.

Solas raised his staff into the air. "Focus past the Herald! Let his will draw from you!"

Rayne closed her eyes and began to channel her power; she felt the mages around her doing the same. She began to hear the whispers of demons as they pushed on the Veil, but she easily ignored them. It was the other whispers that were going to drive her mad eventually.

She felt Alec struggle against the pull and push of the Breach as he approached it. She felt his mark gain power.

Rayne's eyes burst open and with a grunt slammed her staff on the ground and knelt. The mage beside her followed her simultaneously. The mages on the rise followed moments later. She felt their power join together and flow to Alec.

She gritted her teeth as she felt perspiration on her forehead.

She watched as Alec got closer and closer to the Breach. It threatened to suck him in and push him away all at the same time.

With a cry of determination, Alec threw his hand into the air directing it at the Breach. The mark on his hand went wild. But she saw the stream of magic burst forward into the Breach.

It lit up the sky nearly blinding them all and the constant pulse of magic began to increase.

Rayne began to worry that maybe Cullen had been right.  **Too much magic put into that mark could destroy us all.**  He had said.

The Breach burst.

White light blinded them all and the force of energy from the Breach sent them flying backwards.

She heard cries of pain and surprise as she was thrown back against the wall behind her. Her head hit painfully against the stone and she slid to the ground with a groan.

Minutes passed before the stars in her eyes began to dissipate and she felt the familiar sensation of healing magic.

She opened her eyes and stared into Solas' grey-blue ones. His hand was on the back of her head as he healed whatever was there.

"Thank you." She said in a tired voice.

He gave her a lopsided smile and nodded.

Around them mages were helping each other stand. Cassandra was pulling Alec to his feet. The Herald didn't look any worse for wear, just drained like the rest of them.

Solas stood and offered Rayne a hand up, which she took. She rose to her feet on weak legs. Once she got her bearings she rifled through on of the pouches on her belt and pulled out some salted dry beef and chewed on it.

Cassandra beamed a smile at Alec. "You did it."

Rayne's eyes finally went to the sky and she gaped as cheers went up around them.

The giant green hole in the sky that had once been the Breach was gone. In its place were lines of swirling green marked the black night sky. The sky was scarred. But the danger was gone.

* * *

 

* * *

He leaned against the building that acted as Tavern for Haven watching the festivities with an amused smile on his face. Everyone was dancing, drinking and Maker only knew what else in the shadows celebrating the feat of closing the Breach.

Cullen's eyes looked around noting Cassandra and Alec speaking on the side. A smile on content on both their faces. His eyes went to one of the watch towers.

Rayne stood looking over the valley a frown on her face.

Indecision warred in him for a few heartbeats before he finally decided to join her.

He climbed the ladder up to where she stood; her leather coat was flapping in the breeze around her small frame.

"Shouldn't you be celebrating with the others?" Cullen asked.

"Shouldn't you?" She replied without turning to him.

He went to her side and looked to where she was, trying to discern anything. "I'm not much for drunken debauchery."

Her eyes remained vigilant on the valley but a smirk came to her face. "That makes two of us."

"Is something wrong?" He finally asked.

"I… don't know." She finally turned to him. "I guess I'm not used to things being so easy."

"This was easy?" He asked in amusement.

"Compared to some of the other things I've been involved with in my life? Yes." She turned back to the valley. "I keep expecting the other shoe to drop." She mumbled.

He gave her a lopsided smile. "I think you just like conflict."

She chuckled. "Perhaps I do." Her smile fell and she squinted her eyes. "What is that?"

He followed her gaze. "What is…"

"Commander! Commander!" A frantic voice called from down below.

Cullen spun and looked down at a scout with dirt coating his face and his eye wide. "What is it?" he demanded.

The scout pointed towards the valley. "A force approaching, Commander!"

Rayne joined him. "A force? Who?"

The scout shrugged helplessly. "They are descending on Haven!"

Cullen scowled. "Sound the alarm!"

The scout ran to the bell they used.

Cullen slid down the ladder and had barely had his feet touch when the bell began to toll for danger. Rayne was quick to join him.

The people who had just been celebrating stopped in their tracks, eyes widened in panic and they began to scramble.

"Forces approaching!" Cullen yelled. "To arms!"

The soldiers scrambled to the front gate while the civilians quickly ran to the Chantry. Some ran to homes and hovels. He saw the Bull's Chargers quick to their feet, even as drunk as they were with Iron Bull leading them.

Rayne looked around. "Where is Aiden?"

"He knows the drill, Rayne. He no doubt went to the Chantry."

She bit her lip before nodding and rushed to the front gate. Cullen was right on her heels.

The gate was sealed tight but they could see the light for hundreds of touches descending on Haven. Leliana and Josephine were already there making Cullen briefly wonder where they had been beforehand.

"Maker's breath." Rayne murmured.

The sounds of pounding feet made him turn.

Cassandra and Alec skidded to a halt.

"Cullen?" Cassandra asked frantic.

"One watch guard reporting." He pointed to the gate. "It's a massive force, the bulk over the mountain."

Alec scowled and went closer to the gate.

"Under what banner?" Josephine asked, coming to Cullen's side.

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "None."

"None?!" She exclaimed.

They all jumped as something slammed against the gate.

Cullen's fingers twitched by his sword readying himself if need be.

"I can't come in unless you open!" A voice called from the other side.

He frowned. It sounded almost childlike.

 _"_ _Mamae!"_  Another voice called.

"Aiden!" Rayne cried and rushed to the gate.

"Open the gate!" Cullen yelled.

The soldiers were quick.

Rayne slammed through the gate and skidded to a halt as a giant of a man stalked forward but then cried out and fell to the ground in a heap.

In the clearing surrounded by men that looked to be wearing strange versions of Templar armor laid on the ground unmoving and in pools of blood was Aiden holding his daggers that were still dripping with blood and another boy with a huge hat that covered his face.

Aiden quickly sheathed his blades and ran to Rayne. His hair was wet and freezing and his skin slightly blue from the cold.

"Andraste's tits, Aiden!" She exclaimed, her eyes hard with anger and fear. "Where were you?!"

Alec quickly went to the other boy who sheathed his blades.

Cullen took in the boy. He could see blond hair hanging in front of his eyes that were a piercing blue as he took in everything and everyone around him. He wore dirty leathers and daggers on his hips. His skin was pale as if he didn't see much sunlight.

Cullen drew his blade and went to Alec's side.

The boy's eyes briefly went to Cullen and then fastened back on Alec. "I'm Cole. I came to warn you." He took a step towards them. "To help. People are coming to hurt you… you probably already know…"

Alec shook his head. "What is this? What's going on?"

Cole's face became hard. "The Templars come to kill you."

Cullen pushed forward which caused Cole to back away in fear. "Templars!" He looked to Alec. "Is this the Orders response to our talks with the mages, attacking blindly?"

"The Red Templars went to the Elder One." Cole explained.

A chill went down Cullen's spine.  **Red Templars?** No, it couldn't be… could it? What Templar would be so foolish knowing what happened to Meredith in Kirkwall?

Cole leaned close to Alec. "You know him? He knows you. You took his mages." He turned and pointed to a hill in the distance.

Cullen turned and squinted as two forms rose to the top.

One was definitely a human man in black armor glowing red and had what looked like red lyrium protruding from it. And Cullen recognized him.  **Samson.**

"I know that man." Cullen murmured. "But this Elder One…"

Samson had once been a Templar in Kirkwall, Cullen had even shared quarters with the man until Samson was removed from the Order for aiding a mage deliver messages to his sweetheart. The mage, Maddox had been made Tranquil. After Samson was removed he became a beggar on the streets in Lowtown, finding anyway to get coin for his next fix of lyrium. Even working with slavers at one point. That was how bad his addiction was.

And now it seemed Samson had a new supply and type of lyrium feeding his addiction. The red glow cast a haunting look on his worn and weathered face. His black hair was slicked back so as not to obstruct his view.

The creature beside him, whom Cullen figured was the Elder One, was like nothing he had ever seen. He towered over Samson, indeed he would have still towered over someone like Iron Bull. From what Cullen could see, he wore tattered black robes covering his legs and black feathered pauldrons on his shoulders. His chest was uncovered but looked twisted and looked as if it had burst open at one point. Red lyrium stuck out of his skull and along one side of his jaw. What little actual skin could be seen was pale. His fingers ended in long black talons that looked like it could rend a man to pieces.

Rayne approached, holding Aiden who now had her coat wrapped around him. "He… looks like a darkspawn. He  _feels_  like a darkspawn. But…" She scowled. "He looks familiar…"

They had no more time to ponder it. Red Templars moved steadily down the mountain. They would be there any moment.

"He's very angry you took his mages." Cole said, a slight tremor to his voice.

Alec turned to Cullen. "Cullen, give me a plan! Anything!"

"Haven is no fortress." He said, plans working in his head. He didn't like their odds. "If we are to withstand this monster we must control the battle." He nodded ahead to the trebuchets. "Get out there hit that force. Use everything you can."

Alec nodded.

He spun around. Soldiers, Templars and mages stood behind him waiting. "Mages! You, you have sanction to engage them!" He pointed behind him. "That is Samson, he will not make it easy. Inquisition! With the Herald!" He spun back around and thrust his sword into the air. "For your lives! For all of us!"

* * *

 

* * *

His rally inspired them all.

But what came next was chaos, as was most battles. Even the best plans can be lost in the heat of battle.

As much as she hated it, Rayne allowed Aiden to fight beside her. They had gone to the second trebuchet as Alec and those following him went to the first and were shocked to already see Red Templars descending on it.

They had been quick to act.

Rayne cast earth shattering spells around them to slow down their progress, but some still managed to push through.

Aiden dodged around their forces using his daggers to cut them at the knees as he rushed to the trebuchet and began climbing. Once at the top he drew his bow and began raining arrows down on the Templars.

Rayne summoned two weapons to her hands, weapons she had not used in years. They were called chakrams. They were primarily throwing weapons but could be used in hand-to-hand, circular in design with a sharpened outer edge. Lyrium and runes were engraved in the thin steel.

She sent magic into the weapons. One burst to life with fire, the other with lightning.

With a cry she spun around and sent the chakrams flying into horde of enemies.

Cries of pain and death echoed around them as the weapons cut down and burned all they touched. The lightning arced continuously to anything near them, causing the enemies to be briefly paralyzed allowing Aiden to kill them with arrows.

The chakrams cleaved a path through the enemies before circling around and coming back to her. The moment they came to her hands, she sent them flying again. If any enemy got close she cut them down.

The battle went on like that for some time, fighting alongside Inquisition soldiers. All the while she pushed back the whispers she heard coming from the bodies of the Red Templars. The red lyrium was singing.

At one point she had to stop fighting long enough to close her eyes and shake off the nausea from all the exposure to the red lyrium. Unlike with the Templars, red lyrium was toxic for mages.

Sweat dripped down her face and the muscles in her arms spasm from the exertion; she wasn't sure how long they had been fighting.

 _"Mamae!"_  Aiden's voice rang out. "Behind you!"

Rayne's eyes flew open and she spun around as a Red Templar with red glowing eyes raised his weapon over his head.

Just when she thought he was about to cleave her, an axe cut through his neck.

She cried out in surprise as blood cascaded on her. She barely had enough time to turn her face away to keep from being completely blinded by the blood.

When she heard the body collapse to the ground she turned back around wiping blood from one side of her face.

Iron Bull stood over the Templar, his massive 2-handed axe's blade was dripping with blood. He had fresh wounds on his chest, but other than that he didn't look any worse for wear.

He had a big grin on his face. "Holding your own alright there?"

Rayne let out a sigh of relief. "'bout time you showed up. Where's Alec?"

He pointed behind him. "Just finishing up on the last trebuchet."

Motion caught her eyes and she saw Sera roll onto the field throwing small vials that exploded on impact causing whatever it came into contact with to burst into flames. Once she got her bearings she began shooting calling out taunts to the enemy.

Rayne shook her head and turned to the trebuchet. "Aiden!"

He was taking aim and fired at another enemy before turning to her.

"Find new purchase. We're going to be needing this."

He nodded and looked around. Grinning he ran along the top of the trebuchet before jumping to a tower.

Lightning arched into the coming forces.

Rayne caught sight of Alec and Dorian running towards the trebuchet.

"Right then." She said. She turned back to Bull. "Ready?"

His smile widened.

* * *

 

* * *

Cullen ushered more civilians to the Chantry as he ran back to the front gate intending to aid there. In what exactly, he wasn't sure. But he needed to do something.

"Commander! There!" A soldier yelled and pointed to one of the distant mountains.

He stopped running and watched as a projectile from one of the trebuchets was hurled at the mountainside.

It made an audible boom as it collided.

His eyes went wide as the side of the mountain began to move. "Avalanche." He whispered.

He heard the distant collective screams of the Red Templars that were caught in its path.

Cheers erupted around him; even he couldn't contain the smile that came to his face. Perhaps they  _could_  win this battle.

Just as he began to have that thought a sound he hadn't heard in years crashed around them that instantly wilted the cheers and smiles.

Cullen's eyes went to the sky and they widened in terror. He had never seen one, but he had heard stories of those that did, including Rayne.

This creature looked like a dragon. But its diseased black hide and empty eyes held the truth. An archdemon.

It swooped down on Haven aiming for…  **what was it aiming for?**  Cullen thought. It headed to the outskirts of Haven, but there was nothing there except…

He gasped. "The trebuchets."

The archdemon, or whatever it was, reared back its head and then engulfed its target in flame.

Screams of pain and fear now filled the air. Shattered pieces of the trebuchet flew into the air with the sound of an explosion caused by the black powder bombs used as ammunition.

He grabbed the nearest soldier who stood wide-eyed and pale. "Get everyone to the Chantry! Now!"


	19. Trevelyan/Cullen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did this chapter slightly different. Combining view points instead of breaking them into separate chapters since it changes perspective more than previous chapters. As before: note the Chapter title to know whose perspective.

Alec groaned as he slowly rose. He brought a hand to his pounding head as he looked around.

Bull, Dorian and Sera were rising and didn't look too hurt. Soldiers around him were doing the same, some though didn't move.

His eyes moved wildly around until he found Rayne. The last he had heard was her yelling for Aiden.

She was already up and crouched staring up into the sky. She cradled Aiden close to her, his eyes were shut tight and Alec could see a small trickle of blood on his forehead.

"It cannot be." Rayne whispered. "It cannot…"

Alec shook his head. "Rayne. Aiden, is he alright?"

She blinked and looked down at her son and nodded. "He'll be fine. But I need to get him to the Chantry."

"I think we should all do that." He groaned and stood. "Everyone head to the gates!"

He watched to make sure everyone started running before he moved.

Overhead he heard the roars from the dragon and it spurred his movements, but he dared not look up. That creature was nothing he'd ever seen before.

Bull had stopped to help Harritt the blacksmith get into his home before getting to the gate.

Cullen was there getting people through. "Move it, move it!" He yelled. His eyes fell on Alec and relief filled them.

As soon as Alec and his group ran through the gate, Cullen and another soldier slammed them close. It was a futile gesture in the end, the dragon was above them. But Alec amended that this would at least keep any Red Templars that survived the avalanche from getting in too quickly.

Cullen turned away from the gate and climbed the stairs. "We need everyone back to the Chantry! It's the only building that might hold up against… that beast!"

Rayne waited at the top of the stairs Aiden still unconscious in her arms.

As Cullen passed them he laid a hand on the boy's head and brushed Rayne's arm. It was a slight gesture that most probably didn't notice. He turned to Alec. "At this point… just make them work for it." He turned to Rayne. "Go, tend to him."

Without waiting Rayne pivoted around and dashed to the Chantry, Cullen followed after.

Alec began to follow them but heard cries of help.

"The villagers might need a little help." Bull said coming to his side.

He stood a deep steadying breath and nodded. "Right."

* * *

After rescuing all the villagers they could from either Red Templars or crumbling buildings they ran to the open doors of the Chantry.

Standing outside the doors was Chancellor Roderick. The older man looked sickly pale and held his side. Cole stood by his side. "Move!" He rasped. "Keep going! The Chantry is your shelter!" He said to all within earshot.

Alec and his party rushed through the doors skidding to a halt inside.

Alec's breathing was ragged and he bent over trying to catch his breath. A mage rushed to him and offered him a lyrium vial, which he took and downed. Instantly the lyrium took effect, invigorating him and his magic.

There was no sign of Cullen, Rayne or Aiden.

Roderick slowly made his way back into the Chantry as soldiers began closing the doors. But after a few steps he stumbled.

Cole was quick and grabbed the Chancellor, letting the older man lean against him as he practically carried him to a chair.

Cole looked up at Alec. "He tried to stop a Templar. The blade went deep. He's going to die."

Alec slightly winced at the bluntness. But he was realizing that Cole was not an ordinary boy.

Roderick attempted a chuckle. "What a charming boy."

A scream of pain shattered through the room that sent chills down Alec's spine. It sounded like a young boys.

A few heartbeats later Cullen came around a corner. Blood was smeared on his armor and his gloves. He caught Alec and ran to him. "Herald! Our position is not good. That dragon stole back any time you might have earned us."

"I've seen an archdemon." Cole said as he knelt next to Roderick. "I was in the Fade, but it looked like that."

Cullen scowled. "I don't care what it looks like. It has cut a path for that army. They'll kill everyone in Haven!"

"The Elder One doesn't care about the village. He only wants the Herald."

Alec's eyes were still on the blood stains on Cullen.

Cullen followed his gaze and shook his head. "It's not mine. Aiden's."

Alec's eyes widened. "Is he alright?"

"He's fine, for the most part. The blast caused a protruding bone in one of his arms. Rayne is currently…" He winced as another scream echoed through the Chantry. "Well, as you can tell. He'll be fully healed once she gets the bone back into his arm."

Alec swallowed and turned to Cole. "If you know why he wants me, just say it."

Cole frowned. "I don't. He's too loud. It hurts to hear him."

Alec raised an eyebrow.

"He wants to kill you." He continued. "No one else matters, but he'll crush them, kill them anyway. I don't like him."

Cullen gave the boy a baffled look. "You don't like…"" He sighed and turned back to Alec. "Herald, there are no tactics to make this survivable." His voice was heavy.

They turned at the approaching footsteps.

Rayne's bodice was covered in blood as she walked to them cleaning off her hands.

"Is he alright?" Cullen asked.

She nodded. "He's fine. He's getting dressed." Her eyes darted back and forth between the two men.

"That thing," Alec finally said. "Cole says it's an archdemon."

"I said it  _looked_  like an archdemon." The boy corrected.

Rayne scowled. "He's right on that count, at the very least. As to if it really is one? It doesn't feel like one. But it's hard to tell for sure with all this blasted red lyrium around fogging everything."

"It doesn't matter what it is." Cullen snapped.

"True enough." She turned as she heard Aiden's rushed footsteps.

He didn't look all too bad. He was slightly pale from the amount of pain he had no doubt been in and his clothing was bloody. But if Alec hadn't known what happened to him, he would never have known.

"The only thing that slowed them was the avalanche." Cullen continued. "We could turn the remaining trebuchets, cause one last slide."

Alec's eyes widened. "We're overrun. To hit the enemy, we'd bury Haven."

Cullen face remained stoic, but his eyes were filled with pain. "We're dying." He said bluntly. "But we can decide how. Many don't get that choice."

 _"Mamae…"_  Aiden said in a small voice.

Cullen turned to them as Rayne knelt on the ground. The Templars face finally cracked and filled with pain as he stared at them.

Rayne moved Aiden's hair out of his eyes in a tender gesture. "Hush  _da'len._ "

"Yes, that." Cole said.

Alec turned to him and frowned in confusion.

Cole looked up at him. "Chancellor Roderick can help, he wants to say it before he dies."

Alec didn't question how Cole exactly knew all this. If he survived this, he would worry about it later.

Roderick nodded. "There is a path. You wouldn't know it unless you'd made the summer pilgrimage. As I have." He stood up on shaking legs. Cole was quick to remain by his side. "The people can escape. She must have shown me. Andraste must have shown me so I could… tell you."

"What are you on about, Roderick?" Alec asked.

"It was whim that I walked the path. I did not mean to start—it was overgrown. Now, with so many in the Conclave dead, to be the only one who remembers… I don't know, Herald. If this simple memory can save us, this could be more than accident.  _You_  could be more."

Alec turned to Cullen. "What about it, Cullen? Will it work?"

He mulled it over a moment. "Possibly.  _If_  he shows us the path." He paused. "But what of your escape?"

Alec turned away not answering. In truth, he didn't know. But he'd be damned if he did nothing and allowed all these people to be killed for him.

"Perhaps you will surprise it, find a way…" Cullen offered before turning and issuing orders. "Inquisition! Follow Chancellor Roderick through the Chantry! Move!"

Slowly the injured were being led out the back of the Chantry along with everyone else.

Roderick was leaning back on Cole. "Herald… if you are meant for this, if the Inquisition is meant for this, I pray for you."

"Aiden…" Rayne said softly.

Alec turned to them.

" _Mamae_ … no." He pleaded.

"I want you to go with Cullen." She continued.

 _"Mamae…_ " Tears began to appear in his eyes.

Rayne grabbed her son's arms. "You will go with Cullen. You stay with him. Do everything he tells you. Do you understand?"

Aiden shook his head.

She gently shook him. "Do you understand?" She snapped.

Tears began to come from Aiden's eyes. "I—" His voice cracked. "I understand."

"What are you talking about?" Cullen said coming back to them.

Rayne looked up at the Commander. "Cullen, promise me. Should anything happen to me…" Her voice cracked, her shell was breaking. "You'll get him to his father."

Cullen's eyes widened. Before he could answer soldiers came up behind him drawing his attention.

"What are you going to do, Rayne?" Alec asked.

She looked up at him. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears but hard as diamonds. "I'm going to buy you time."

Cullen turned back to them. "They'll load the trebuchets. Keep the Elder One's attention until we're above the tree line." He said to Alec and then his attention went back to Rayne. "What are you going to do?"

Rayne took one last look at Aiden before kissing his forehead and rising to her feet. "Buy time." She turned to Cullen. "Promise me, Cullen."

Emotions warred in Cullen's face and eyes. Finally he nodded. "I… I promise."

She took a shaking breath and nodded before spinning around and running out the door of the Chantry.

Alec followed suit with Iron Bull, Sera and Dorian behind him.

* * *

 

* * *

Cullen watched with a heavy heart as Rayne ran out of the building. Her coat flying behind her like wings. He sent a silent prayer to the Maker that she would come back to him.

"I am sorry, my son." Cole's voice broke through the heavy silence surrounding them.

Cullen turned to him.

He was still holding onto Roderick who looked ready to kill over. "I cheated this once before. I cannot do so again. Know that I love you."

"What does that mean?" Cullen snapped. He stalked towards the boy. "What are you talking about?" He snapped.

Cole cringed but didn't move or reply.

"If it is an archdemon…" Aiden said with a cracked voice.

Cullen turned to him. He stood staring at the closing door of the Chantry folded in on himself, his body shaking from silent sobs.

"She goes to her death."

Cullen's eyes widened and his eyes went to the door as they closed with a sound that felt like the lid to a coffin closing around him.

* * *

 

* * *

Alec came up behind Rayne. "What are you planning?"

She slipped out of her coat and threw it on the ground. "Like I said. I'm going to buy you time. Get to that trebuchet. You won't have to worry about the dragon for a time."

"Rayne…" he started, but was cut off.

She went on all fours and lunged forward.

His eyes went wide as he watched her leap onto the roof of the Chantry in one jump. He watched in mixed feelings of fascination and wonder as her skin began to shimmer. Her eyes narrowed and became darker. Her mouth was set into a grin that continued to stretch impossibly on her face that was becoming elongated and her mouth and nose forming a snout.

Her clothing began to rip apart as her body began to grow and her legs bent backwards. Stubs on her back burst through her bodice and continued to grow into webbed wings. Her skin began to harden into scales and changed to a black-purple color.

Rayne threw back her head and let loose a roar that rivaled the archdemon's. She ran along the roof and jumped off. As she fell to the ground her wings flapped once… twice… And then she flew into the sky. The force of her wings blew into him and his group.

As she ascended into the sky heading towards the archdemon – who had caught sight of her – her body continued to change. Within a few heartbeats Rayne was completely gone, and in her place was a beautiful black dragon whose scales shimmered purple from the light of the moon. White-blue veins coursed down her body and in the webs of her wings. She was beautiful and terrifying to behold.

"Did she just…" Dorian said in bewilderment.

"She just turned into a blighted dragon!" Sera exclaimed.

"Bad-ass!" Bull roared.

Rayne roared in defiance at the archdemon as they collided. A deafening boom and roars of pain erupted in the sky.

Alec shook his head and turned to the oncoming Red Templars. "Alright, there's our distraction. Let's go!"

* * *

 

* * *

Cullen emerged through the tunnel's exit and looked around.

Leliana was motioning in the direction the refugees were to go.

"Aiden!" Cullen called, not seeing the boy.

"Over here."

He spun around and found the boy with Elgar and Ghost at his side. They all looked skyward.

He followed their gaze and he gaped.

Two dragons battled above Haven. One beautiful and healthy. The other decaying and monstrous.

"Wha…"

"It's mother." Aiden said in a voice devoid of emotion. He had not said much since their escape through the tunnels.

"Rayne?" His eyes went back up. He had heard of mages that were shape shifters. But most were hedge witches and he had never heard of them turning into dragons.

The archdemon veered higher into the sky causing Rayne to give chase.

"Nonono." Cullen whispered. That position put her at a disadvantage.

Rayne roared in irritation.

The archdemon abruptly stopped flapping its wings and plummeted.

Rayne was caught too off guard and was unable to get out of the way.

The two crashed together. Rayne roared in pain.

Aiden gasped.

The archdemon managed to spin Rayne until it was on her back. Cullen watched in horror as the archdemon began to rip off one of her wings.

Cullen had never heard such a sound in his life like that of a dragon in immeasurable pain.

The archdemon roared in triumph as he ripped away her wing and kicked off of her to jump back into the sky.

Rayne fell head over heels to the ground unable to stop her decent with only one wing.

 _"Mamae!"_  Aiden cried.

Cullen had enough fore thought to run to the boy just as he was getting ready to bolt back down the mountain. He grabbed Aiden and held on tightly as he fought.

 _"Mamae!"_  He struggled. "Let me go! Let me go! I need to… I need…!" He cried.

But Cullen wouldn't relent. He held the boy close as he watched with dread as Rayne plummeted into the mountains, too far away to know where she landed. The only sign that she had crashed was the roar of pain that echoed through the valley and the boom as something big hit the ground.

He struggled to keep the tears from falling as he watched the archdemon descend back on Haven where the Herald was no doubt making his last stand.

Choking back a sob, it felt like Kirkwall all over again. Cullen spun around. "We need to go."

He ran with Aiden in his arms as the boy cried great racking sobs into his coat.


	20. Trevelyan

He gritted his teeth as he rose from the ground. Alec was getting really tired of that.

His eyes went to the distant mountains where he had seen Rayne fall. But there was still no sign of her. His companions he had sent running back to the Chantry to follow the tunnels after everyone else. He was only surrounded by corpses and rubble.

Motion in the flames caught his attention.

He rose wearily to his feet as the Elder One walked through flames to him.

Alec took a step backwards…

Only to be stopped as he had to struggle to keep his footing as the archdemon landed behind him.

He spun to the creature as it stalked closer to him and roared to the sky.

"Enough!" The Elder One called, sending a kinetic force towards Alec and his pet. He glowered at Alec. "Pretender. You toy with forces beyond your ken. No more."

Alec was acutely aware of the dragon breathing down his neck but refused to take his eyes off of the Elder One. "Whatever you are, I am not afraid!" He said with more strength than he felt. The night's battle was beginning to take its toll.

"Words mortals often hurl at the darkness." The Elder One said dismissively. "Once they were mine, they are always lies. Know me, know what you have pretended to be." He raised his arms. "Exalt the Elder One! The  _will_  that is Coryphues! You will kneel."

Alec scowled in defiance. "You'll… you'll get nothing out of me!" He said through clenched teeth.

"You will resist. You will always resist." He reached into a pouch and pulled out a small black orb that gleamed green. "It matters not."

Alec studied the orb, he felt like he had seen it before. But where?

"I am here for the  _Anchor._ " Coryphues continued. "The process of removing it begins now."

The orb began to glow red. Coryphues directed whatever power he was wielding at Alec.

He cried out and collapsed to his knees as pain erupted from his hand that held the mark.  **The Anchor?**  He thought.  **But… how can that be?**

"It is your fault, 'Herald'. You interrupted a ritual years in the planning, and instead of dying, you stole its purpose." He turned his hand sending another pulse of magic into the mark. "I do not know how you survived, but what marks you as 'touched', what you flail at rifts, I crafted to assault the very heavens."

Alec suppressed the groan in the back of his throat.

The archdemon came closer to him, like a cat stalking a mouse.

"And you used the Anchor to undo my work! The gall!"

Alec looked up at Corypheus. "What is this thing meant to do?"

"It is meant to bring certainty where there is none. For you, the certainty that I would always come for it."

Alec groaned again but this time from the cryptic answer.

Corypheus stalked to him and grabbed the arm that was attached to the mark and lifted him off the ground to be eye level. "I once breached the Fade in the name of another, to serve the Old Gods of the empire  _in person."_

Alec's eyes widened.  **The stories of how the Blights began…**  This thing… this thing that looked like a darkspawn was claiming to be one of the Magisters who broke the Golden City.

"I found only chaos and corruption." Corypheus continued unaware of Alec's thoughts. "For a thousand years I was confused. No more. I have gathered the  _will_  to return under no name but my own, to champion withered Tevinter and correct this blighted world. Beg that I succeed, for I have seen the throne of the Gods, and  _it was empty!"_

At the final word, Corypheus hurled Alec towards the trebuchet.

Alec cried out as he slammed into wood and metal and slid down to the ground. He shook his head trying to focus back on the darkspawn.

Corypheus sneered as the archdemon came up behind its master. "The Anchor is permanent. You have spoiled it with your stumbling."

Alec frantically looked around. A sword lay nearby. He quickly jumped to it and rose with it in his hands.

Corypheus narrowed his eyes, but didn't look impressed. "So be it. I will begin again, find another way to give this world the nation – and  _god_  – it requires."

Alec's eyes went beyond into the valley into the tree line as a lighted arrow was shot into the sky.

His eyes went back to the ground as he sent a silent prayer to the Maker. He may not believe that he was Andraste's Herald, but he still believed in the Maker.

"And you." Corypheus went on. "I will not suffer even an unknowing rival. You  _must_  die."

Alec raised the sword in his hands, his resolve giving him strength. "You expect me to fight, but that's not why I kept you talking. Enjoy your victory. Here's your prize!"

He spun and slammed the sword down on the lever to the trebuchet.

The machine's wheels spun as it threw the black powder bomb into the nearest mountain side.

The ground shook as it made impact.

Alec's eyes widened as the snow and earth began to cascade down towards them.

He threw the sword and ran.

* * *

He grunted as he held onto his side as he finally emerged from the cave and right into wind and snow.

All around him were the signs of the avalanche he caused. But he saw no sign of Corypheus or the archdemon. Alec wasn't foolish enough to think they had been caught in the landslide. No they had fled.

He caught his breath and pushed out into the blizzard. His hand acting as a light and beacon. Ever since Corypheus' tampering it was fluctuating and he couldn't control it. Hopefully Solas or Rayne would be able to help.

**No. Not Rayne.** He thought in despair. He had only known the Warden for a couple short months, but he had liked her. She became a valued advisor and friend.

He squinted against the snow and wind until he saw a glow in the distance. Praying that it was the refugees he began the trek through knee deep snow.

He wrapped his arms around him as best as he could, trying to conserve any amount of body heat he had. But it was a losing battle. Soon his teeth were chattering and his bones ached against the cold.

The walking was slow and arduous but he continued on. Thoughts of those that needed him giving him fuel to go on.

* * *

Hours passed by the time he finally made it to something that looked like a camp. Forcing his body to go he went to it.

He inspected it. Nothing more than a fire pit. "Cold." He mumbled.

He looked back to the distance, he still saw the glows of fires. But the distance…

With a groan he took a few more steps that direction before his legs gave out under him.

The snow enveloped him as he sat there, the wet cold seeping into his clothing and skin. The blowing wind and snow working to bury him.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there before the sight of boots filled his vision.

His head felt heavy as he looked up and gasped.

Rayne stood over him staring down. Her leather coat billowed around her in the wind. "Get up." She ordered.

Alec stared dumbly at her.

She frowned. "I said get up!" She snapped.

Finally he shook his head. "I saw you fall. You're not real." He lowered his head.

Rayne scoffed. "Pathetic."

He tilted his head only barely. He knew she had to be a figment of his mind, but he couldn't stop himself from engaging. "What is?"

Her lip curled back revealing fangs. "You. You are pathetic." She came closer; Alec was slightly aware how she didn't sink into the snow. She knelt to be eye level with him. "I have survived a massacre against darkspawn, a land torn apart by darkspawn and people. I have survived fights with high dragons, broodmothers, demons and creatures you could only imagine in your nightmares. I survived a battle with an archdemon. I was in the heart of a magical explosion."

Alec didn't answer.

She shook her head. "And look at you." She sneered. "Done in by a little wind and snow. Some 'Herald'." She stood.

Anger sparked in him. His head flew up. "I never asked for this!" He cried into the wind.

"Heroes very seldom do." She said mildly. "We make the choices no else can. We inspire those who cannot fight for themselves. We live with the consequences of our choices."

"I don't want that responsibility." His voice cracked.

Understanding and sadness came to her eyes. "We never do." She said softly. "You must choose: Lead them or fall."

She turned from him and walked into the blizzard.

"Wait." His voice cracked.

She did not stop and she began to fade in the snow.

"Rayne, wait!" He growled and stood. His body protested against the action. But he took one step and then another, following in the direction Rayne had gone.

* * *

He wasn't sure how long it had been. He continued to just follow Rayne through the snow. She always kept her distance, close enough to barely be seen. But soon he found himself in a canyon and the light from burning fires cast their glow on him. He could practically feel their heat.

Rayne was nowhere to be seen.

He collapsed back into the snow.

"There!" A voice called in the distance. "It's him!"

**Cullen.** Alec thought as his mind went hazy with fatigue.

"Thank the Maker!" A female's voice exclaimed.

**Cassandra.**

As he fell forward he was barely aware of hands catching him.


	21. Cullen

He rubbed the back of his neck, his temper flaring. His emotions had been raw since he saw Rayne fall from the sky. "What would you have me tell them?" He snapped. "This isn't what we asked them to do!"

"We cannot simply ignore this!" Cassandra snapped back. "We must find a way!"

Cullen curled his lip trying – and failing – to reign in his anger. "And who put you in charge? We need a consensus, or we have nothing!"

"Please, we must use reason!" Josephine said, trying to be the calmer head in this debate. "Without the infrastructure of the Inquisition, we're hobbled!"

He shook his head. "That can't come from nowhere!"

"She didn't say it could!" Leliana snapped. The spymaster was grieving as much as he was over Rayne's fall.

Cassandra threw her hands into the air and stalked to her tent. "Enough! This is getting us nowhere!"

Cullen snorted. "Well, we're agreed on that much!"

He spun around and headed to his tent.

Half way there he caught sight of Aiden sitting on a boulder facing towards where Haven now lay in ruins. As was usual, Elgar and Ghost lay on the ground around him acting as a barrier. The boy sat hunched over hugging his legs to his chest, wrapping his anger and grief around him like a blanket.

_"_ _She's alive!"_  Aiden had yelled at them all when they finally got to a safe enough place to camp and await the Herald.

Leliana had shaken her head with tears at the corner of her eyes. "I'm sorry, Aiden. But…"

Aiden shot her a look that could have frozen a river in seconds with how cold it was. "She's alive." He hissed.

He had shot a glare at Cullen before retreating to the boulder he now sat on. He refused to move or speak to anyone.

Cullen was at a loss on what to do. He had never had to deal with children on his own, let alone one that was grieving the fate of one of their parents.

As much as he loved Aiden and at times felt like he was his own son, the truth was: Cullen was an outsider, just a family friend. The thought of that felt like a stab in the gut to him.

Unable to think of anything, he sighed and continued to his tent. He still had a letter to write.

They had managed to salvage a few supplies, like ink, quills and paper. Which came in handy right now to send out word that the Inquisition had not been annihilated at Haven. Cullen had managed to get a bit of that supplies to write his letter to Aiden's father. Leliana had offered to do it for him, but he declined. Rayne had tasked this to him, and he would see it through.

He sat on his cot as he brought the stool that acted as a small writing desk. He stared down at the parchment that only held to whom it was addressed, but nothing more. How did one tell someone that the mother of your child was dead? He had to send notices out before for soldiers and brothers-at-arms when they fell. But this was different. This was a letter about someone close to him. Someone whom he…

"Rayne…" He whispered. His hand holding the quill began to shake as he held back his tears.

Fate was indeed cruel. For three long years he thought she was dead, killed by someone she considered a friend. Only to find out she was alive and well. And now, she was gone again. The world seemed darker.

But what if Aiden was right? What if she was alive? She had, after all, survived Anders' attack in Kirkwall. Who is to say she couldn't survive this too?

When they had found Alec knelt in the snow and carried him back he had been murmuring Rayne's name repeatedly. Did he know something the rest of them didn't?

As much as Cullen wanted to believe, it was hard for him.

And so, with a heavy heart, he began writing.

When it was finally finished he sighed and it felt like it reached into his soul and cracked it. He sealed the letter in golden wax and the seal of the Inquisition. He stared at that eye a few moments as it seemed to bore into his in accusations before getting up and finding one of Leliana's people to send it to Denerim.

When that was finished he stood in the forest of tents nearest Aiden, but left the boy alone.

His eyes scanned everything around him.  **So much despair.**  He thought heavily.

Motion from the medical tent caught his eye.

Alec emerged from the tent, grasping onto the pole outside to steady himself.

Cullen turned away and stared in the direction of Haven.

He was beginning to lose himself in memories until a voice filled the air.

Mother Giselle emerged behind Alec and began to sing.

_Shadows fall_

_And hope has fled_

_Steel your heart_

_The Dawn will come_

_The night is long_

_And the path is dark_

_Look to the sky_

_For one day soon_

_The Dawn will come_

It was a song Cullen knew well. One sung frequently in the Chantry.

Leliana's voice joined Mother Giselle's.

_The shepherd's lost_

_And his home is far_

Soon others around him joined together and slowly approached Alec and the Revered Mother.

_Keep to the stars_

_The Dawn will come_

_The night is long_

And then, Cullen found his own voice joining the mass.

_And the path is dark_

_Look to the sky_

_For one day soon_

_The Dawn will come_

_Bare your blade_

_And raise it high_

_Stand your ground_

_The Dawn will come_

_The night is long_

_And the path is dark_

_Look to the sky_

_For one day soon_

_The Dawn will come_

When it was finished many were knelt in front of Alec.

Cullen's heart felt a fraction lighter, but it would be a long time before it felt whole again. He turned to Aiden.

Aiden had turned around on the boulder to watch the proceedings. He had a sneer on his face. He jumped from his perch and began to stalk off into the night.

Cullen was about to go after him until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

He turned to find Alec.

The Herald shook his head. "Let him be. He won't go far. He just needs time alone."

Reluctantly Cullen nodded and sighed. "I'm at a loss on what to do."

Alec gave him a small smile. "Just give him time, Commander. And know you're not alone."

"Thank you."

A hand touched Alec shoulder.

Solas appeared. "A word?" He walked away without waiting for a reply.

Alec turned to Cullen who shrugged.


	22. Trevelyan

It had been weeks since the destruction of Haven, he was starting to wonder about this stronghold that Solas had told him about. The people around him were tired, they needed refuge. They couldn't continue this for much longer.

Solas was by his side and repeatedly told Alec that they weren't far.

He stopped briefly to look behind him at the horde of people that followed him. Believing in him.

**_Lead them or fall._**  She had said. Could he lead them?  _Should_ he? Questions for another day perhaps.

Leliana and Josephine weren't too far back from him talking in low voices. Many of his companions blended in the sea of people, but he could make out Iron Bull's tall frame and horns.

Cullen walked alongside Aiden and the two beasts that acted as the boy's guardians. Aiden looked pale and tired, but he refused to be coddled. The fact that he was allowing Cullen near at least said that he was getting over his anger at the former Templar for not searching for his mother.

As he watched the pair, Aiden stumbled and fell into the snow. He made no sound, only flinching.

Cullen scowled finally having enough. He placed a hand on Elgar's backside, signaling the saber to stop. Cullen scooped up a protesting Aiden and sat him on the cat's back. With another motion their small group began walking again.

Alec gave a small frown as he watched Aiden's eyes already droop from fatigue. He knew everyone else in the Inquisition was about the same.

**We can't go on like this.** He thought.

"Herald." Solas called.

He turned to the elf.

Solas nodded ahead. "There."

With a burst of energy Alec climbed up a small rise with the other mage on his heels.

When he finally got to the top he stopped to catch his breath and stood straight and looked into the distance and gaped with his mouth open.

When Solas had told him of a place where the Inquisition could go to mend and be safe, he was expecting to find another place like Haven. But instead he found himself looking at a castle.

The valley that it rest in was filled with ice and trees with white tops from snow. The area was huge, and the castle nestled at the farthest end filled half of it. The walls that surrounded the entire structure were grey stone that matched the main castle. Thread bare banners flew in the wind as a sort of welcome. The only way in, was a long wide bridge over the frozen tundra. Alec could tell it was an old place, that no doubt inside needed construction. But the walls held, they were sturdy. Against an army this place seemed to be impregnable.

Solas came to his side. "Skyhold." He declared.

**Skyhold.**  Alec thought wistfully. Yes, this place could take all those with him and would allow the Inquisition to grow.  **From here, we will grow and become stronger. From here, we will face Corypheus.**

Not wanting to delay any longer he began the final trek to a place he would call home.

* * *

It had taken time and the aid of a few mages to crack into Skyhold's entrance. The main gate had been frozen shut through time and ice. But finally they were able to get inside.

That had been four days ago.

Alec pulled on his sleeve with a frown on his face.

"Herald?" The tailor asked hesitantly.

He managed to smile at the older man. "It's fine. Just have to get used to it is all."

The older man bobbed his head and scurried away.

Alec turned back to the mirror and studied his reflection.

Josephine had wanted something made for him for dignitary visits, and seeing as his armor was a tattered mess from everything that transpired since Haven, Alec had no choice but to abide. But had let her know that he wouldn't wear it all the time. So now he wore a thick wool ensemble to help keep warm from the cold. It was black with silver embellishments around the collar and the edge of the sleeves.

In truth is was comfortable and kept him warm, if still not to his taste. But he was willing to indulge the Ambassador with it for important meetings. He couldn't wait until his other clothing was finished.

With a sigh he finally went to the door and pushed it open.

Outside the sun glared down on the lower courtyard that was currently acting as an infirmary for the injured and sick. The journey to Skyhold had been a trying one. Many had already been suffering from wounds from the battle with Corypheus and the trek only made them worse. The first night in Skyhold had been filled with cries and moans, and some of the people didn't make it through the night.

Soldiers that were more fit and able were working on clearing rubble from the surrounding buildings and battlements of wood and stone. They would salvage what they could, but most was decayed from time and would need to be destroyed.

Despite the mess Skyhold was, being behind its high stone walls and out of the elements had brought hope to the Inquisition.

The last four days had been dedicated to finding places for everyone to sleep. Setting up specific residents for the council and those companions of the Herald. Alec had let others tend to that. He had been with the mages in the infirmary aiding who he could. Josephine had quickly sent word out the day they entered about their new stronghold. The people of Thedas needed to know, she said.

Alec watched as people continued to trickle in through the main gate that was still being worked on. Far more people than what was a Haven.

His eyes fell on a group nearby that huddled together.

As if sensing his gaze Cullen, Leliana, Josephine and Cassandra looked up at him and all smiled. Josephine smiling wider than the rest.

Alec rolled his eyes and walked down the stone steps to join them.

As he neared they all scattered except for Cassandra. She stood at attention waiting him.

She nodded to the surrounding refugees. "They arrive daily from every settlement in the region." She explained. "Skyhold is becoming a pilgrimage."

Alec suppressed his groan.

Cassandra, ever vigilant noticed his discomfort and smiled in amusement. She motioned for him to follow her and she turned and began climbing the wide stone stairs that led up to the upper courtyard. "If word has reached these people, it will have reached the Elder One. We have walls and numbers to put up a fight here, but this threat is far beyond the war we anticipated. But we now know what allowed you stand against Corypheus, what drew him to you."

Alec frowned. "He came for this," He said holding up his left hand causing the mark to glow briefly. "And now it's useless to him, so he wants me dead. That's it."

"The Anchor has power, but it's not why you're still standing here. Your decisions let us heal the sky. Your determination brought us out of Haven." She turned and continued her ascent up another set of stairs that would lead to the main castle. But she stopped at a platform that allowed them to overlook the lower courtyard.

Alec's frown deepened in confusion as he found Leliana standing there holding an elaborate sword. Its hilt was a twining dragon of gold. It was clearly something not meant for actual combat, but a symbol.

"You are that creature's rival because of what  _you_  did. And we know it. All of us." Cassandra continued as she joined Leliana awaiting him.

A feeling of dread formed in Alec's stomach but he slowly went to them.

"The Inquisition requires a leader: the one who has  _already_  been leading it." Cassandra stated as she motioned Alec to the sword.

That was when his eyes fell below.

A gathering of soldiers and refugees clustered in the lower courtyard looking up at him. Cullen and Josephine were among them. All eyes shined with hope and eagerness.

"You." Cassandra said behind him.

Alec's eyes widened as panic threatened to seize him. He turned back to Cassandra and Leliana. "Perhaps I didn't hear you correctly. A mage at the head of the Inquisition?" He hoped that this was just some elaborate prank or they hadn't really thought of that little detail.

"Not a mage. You." Cassandra said matter-of-factly.

"I happen to  _be_  a mage."

She had a ghost of smile on her lips. "I will not pretend no one will object, but times are changing. Perhaps this is what that Maker intended."

She turned to Leliana who stepped forward. At that moment the dragon on its hilt seemed more like a snake waiting to bite him.

"There would be no Inquisition without you." Cassandra continued unaware of his thoughts. "How it will serve, how you lead: that must be yours to decide."

Alec finally approached Leliana and stared down at the blade. He hesitated a moment before grasping the cold hilt and lifted it from the Spymaster's hands. The blade was heavy, definitely ceremonial.

He brought it close to his face. The blade shimmered in the sunlight. He noted how it had a red sheen to it, darker around the blade's edge.

So many thoughts ran through his head. They threatened to suffocate him.

But a voice in his mind cut through them all.  **Lead them or fall.**  No matter his short comings and not wanting the power, Rayne had believed in his ability. She believed in him.

His eyes went back to the growing crowd below him.

_They_  believed in him.

It was tempting to just run.

Could he just leave them? Let them deal with Corypheus?

**Lead them.**

He didn't want this power. He didn't want the responsibility of all these lives in his hands.

**None of us ever do. And that's what makes us perfect.**  Rayne's voice said.

His grip tightened on the sword. New resolve began to harden in him. His eyes went back to the heavy sword in his hand. Such responsibility is a terrible weight to bear, but he would not be alone.

"With fear running rampant," He said his voice loud and clear for all to hear. "They need to see a mage standing for what is right." He looked down below. "I'll defeat Corypheus standing with them, not over them."

Cassandra came up behind him. "Wherever you lead us." She looked down. "Have our people been told?" She said in a raised voice.

Josephine smiled. "They have. And soon the world."

Cassandra nodded. "Commander, will they follow?"

Cullen gave them a lopsided smile before turning to those gathered. "Inquisition! Will you follow?" His voice was loud and rang out across the courtyard. That man was made to inspire.

All those gathered threw fists into the air and yelled in approval.

Cullen raised his hands. "Will you fight?"

Another yell echoed around him.

"Will we triumph?"

Alec turned his head and smirked at Cassandra as another yelled enveloped him. His gaze went back down.

Cullen turned, pulling out his sword and pointing to Alec. "Your leader! Your Herald! Your  _Inquisitor!"_

Cries of joy ripped from every throat.

Following Cullen's example, Alec thrust his sword into the sky as the yells threatened to deafen him. A smile came to his face.

No, he wouldn't be alone.


	23. Trevelyan

Alec pushed open the doors with a grunt and he led his small group into the main hall.

Inside was dusty and a mess. Remnants of furniture that had once been there was scattered across the floor. A shattered chandelier lay off to the side. Thread bare rugs that looked like if you picked them up would deteriorate in your fingers.

They walked through the dark hall, where the only light came from the opened doors behind them and the stained glass windows at the other end of the hall above a slightly raised dais casting a yellow glow from the aged glass on to the floor below and the small candle that Josephine carried. They passed a cold hearth filled with splintered wood and broken stone, which would come in handy once it was cleared out. Giant stone bowl statues dotted the area around them where more fires could be lit.

The interior definitely needed some work, but the bones held true.

"So this is where it begins." Cullen said turning around taking in the scene around them.

Leliana shook her head. "It began in the courtyard. This is where we turn that promise into action."

"But what do we do?" Josephine asked. She looked at Alec. "We know nothing about this Corypheus except that he wanted your mark."

He frowned in thought and turned to them. "Corypheus wants to restore Tevinter. Is this a prelude to war with the Imperium?"

"I get the feeling we're dealing with extremists, not the vanguard of a true invasion." Cullen offered.

Josephine nodded in agreement. "Tevinter is not the Imperium of a thousand years ago. What Corypheus yearns to 'restore' no longer exists." She smirked. "Though they would shed no tears if the south fell to chaos, I'm certain."

"Corypheus said he wanted to enter the Black City," Alec said, a shiver went down his spine at the thought. "That this would make him a god."

Leliana scowled. "He is willing to tear this world apart to reach the next. It won't matter if he's wrong."

"What if he's not wrong?" Cullen asked. "If he finds some other way into the Fade…"

"Then he gains the power he seeks or unleashes catastrophe on us all." She said bluntly.

"Could his dragon really be an archdemon? What would that mean?"

Leliana's face fell. "It would mean the beginning of another Blight."

"We've seen no darkspawn other than Corypheus himself." Josephine offered. "Perhaps it's not an archdemon at all, but something different?"

"Whatever it is, it's dangerous." Cullen growled. "Commanding such a creature gives Corypheus an advantage we can't ignore."

Alec thought back to his and Rayne's conversation in Haven. "If it is truly an archdemon…"

Leliana nodded heavily. "Then we will need the aid of the Wardens. And we have still yet to find out what happened to them."

"Why  _are_  the Warden crucial to fighting an archdemon?" Josephine asked. "Not that I think they're not, but…"

"They just are." Leliana said curtly.

Alec wondered if his spymaster knew more than she was willing to tell. She had, after all, been with Rayne and their allies in the last Blight.

"Someone out there must know  _something_  about Coryphues." Alec mumbled.

"Unless they saw him on the field, most will not believe he even exists." Cullen said heavily.

"We do have one advantage: We know what Corypheus intends to so  _next._ " Leliana said with a smile. "In that strange future you experienced, Empress Celene had been assassinated."

"Imagine the chaos her death would cause." Josephine said. "With his army…"

"An army he'll bolster with a massive force of demons," Cullen confirmed. "Or so the future tells us."

Worry shined in Josephine's eyes. "Corypheus could conquer the entire south of Thedas, god or no god."

Leliana sighed. "Rayne had seemed to recognize Corypheus." She said heavily. "She may have been able to give us information."

"She wasn't the only one." A new voice cut in.

They all turned to see Varric walking down the hall to them. The dwarf was out of his armor and Bianca safe in his room. He wore a bright red cloth vest that was opened in the front in his typical style showing off his chest hair and the gold necklace he wore that matched the gold filigree on his vest. A dark green sash was cinched around his waist over dark gray leather trousers and his battered brown leather boots.

Varric smirked. "Everyone acting all inspirational and prodding from Squirt jogged my memory, so I sent a message to an old friend. He's crossed paths with Corypheus before, and may know more about what he's doing. He can help."

Alec tilted his head. "I'm always looking for new allies. Introduce me."

Varric looked around making sure they were alone. He came closer and his voice dropped a bit. "Parading around might cause a fuss. It's better for you to meet privately. On the battlements."

Alec caught Leliana exchange glances with Josephine.

Varric sighed. "Trust me. It's complicated." He turned and made his exit.

Alec frowned in confusion.

Josephine cleared her throat and took out her quill. "Well, then. We stand ready to move on both these concerns." She said scribbling on parchment.

Cullen nodded. "On your order, Inquisitor."

Leliana shifted with an uneasy look on her face. "I know one thing: if Varric has brought who I  _think_ he has, Cassandra is going to kill him."

* * *

Hours later Alec stood on the battlements with Varric who was drinking from a nondescript green glass bottle and Aiden who sat on a barrel swinging his legs. He was unsure what the boy was doing there, but he wasn't going to send him away.

Varric's eyes lit up as he turned to the steps leading to where they were.

Alec turned and looked up at a man who looked vaguely familiar.

His pitch black hair hung down to the nape of his neck and held back in a loose ponytail to keep most of it out of his face. He had a strong jaw and full lips that were surrounded by a goatee. Vibrant blue eyes stared down at him under trimmed eyebrows. On his right cheek was a scar that went from the corner of his eye going down his cheek to the edge of his lip.

Alec could tell instantly that he was a mage. Not only just by his attire which was a battle mages attire of tattered black leather and cloth with a light plate chest piece and armor covering his left arm down to his hand that was covered in metal claws. A staff poked out from over his right shoulder.

He continued to study this new visitor. He was sure he had never met him before, but couldn't point out how he knew him.

"Inquisitor, meet Hawke." Varric said with a flourish. "The Champion of Kirkwall."

Alec's eyes widened. And now knew why he looked familiar. He had a lot of Rayne's features. His eyes even matched her, except hers were far brighter.

Hawke – or as Rayne called him, Vector – smirked. "Though I don't use that title much anymore." He continued down the stairs until he was eye level with Alec.

"Hawke, the Inquisitor." Varric finished.

"Cousin Vector!" Aiden cried in delight.

Vector turned and scooped up an oncoming Aiden. "Aiden! By the Maker, you've gotten big."

Aiden grinned.

Varric cleared his throat. "I figured you might have some friendly advice about Corypheus. You and I did fight him, after all."

Vector's smile wilted, his face turned serious and he nodded. He put Aiden back on the ground and mussed his hair. "You've already dropped half a mountain on the bastard. I'm sure anything I can tell you pales in comparison."

Alec crossed his arms and shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. You did save a city from a horde of rampaging Qunari."

"I don't see how that really applies…" he thought a moment. "Or is there a horde of rampaging Qunari I don't know about?"

Alec's lip twitched into a smirk. "There's  _a_  Qunari. He almost qualifies as a horde all by himself. Fortunately, he's on our side."

Vector chuckled and placed a hand on Aiden's shoulder. "So, then, what can I tell you?"

He nodded to Varric as the dwarf took another drink. "Varric said that you fought Corypheus before."

Vector frowned. "Fought and killed. The Grey Wardens were holding him, and he somehow used his connection to the darkspawn to influence them."

Varric nodded. "Corypheus got into their heads. Messed with their minds. Turned them against each other."

"If the Wardens have disappeared, they could have fallen under his control again." Vector said heavily.

"So Corypheus has the Venatori, the Red Templars, and now possibly the Wardens as well?" Alec said in dismay. And then frowned. "If that's the case. Why wasn't Rayne affected?"

Aiden shrugged. "She mentioned before joining the Inquisition that something was wrong with the Wardens. But she didn't say what."

Alec sighed. "Wonderful."

"I didn't come this far just to give you bad news." Vector said. "I've got a friend in the Wardens. He was investigating something unrelated for me." He began pacing. "His name is Stroud. The last time we spoke, he was worried about corruption in the Warden ranks. Since then," He shrugged. "Nothing."

Varric frowned. "Corypheus would certainly qualify as corruption in the ranks. Did your friend disappear with them?"

"No. He told me he'd be hiding in an old smuggler's cave near Crestwood."

Alec frowned. "If you didn't know about Corypheus, what were you doing with the Wardens?"

"The Templars in Kirkwall were using a strange form of lyrium. It was red. I'd hoped the Wardens could tell me more about it."

"Corypheus had Templars with him at Haven. They looked like they'd been exposed to the lyrium you describe."

Vector shrugged. "Hopefully my friend in the Wardens will know more."

"I appreciate the help." Alec said honestly.

"I'm doing this as much for myself as for you." He frowned, an angry glare came to his eyes. "Corypheus is my responsibility. I thought I'd killed him before. This time, I'll make sure of it." He took a deep breath and shook his head. "All this trouble with the Wardens and a crazy darkspawn, and the one Warden that would have been most helpful is…" he caught himself and his eyes went down to Aiden.

Anger flared in his eyes. "She's not dead." He growled.

"Aiden…" Vector started.

He shook his head. "I don't expect you to believe me. No else does. And no one believed me at Kirkwall either."

Vector flinched with the accusation.

Alec chewed on the inside of his cheek. "If it's any consolation, Aiden, I believe you."

The boy gave him a look out of the corner of his eye. "You… do?" He said warily.

Alec nodded. "She helped me reach you all after Haven."

"Uh, Inquisitor. You were delirious." Varric said.

He shrugged. "I know what I saw and felt."

Aiden crossed his arms. "Just wait. She'll show up and then…" He stopped and frowned.

Alec raised an eyebrow and listened.

"Is… something scratching at the walls?" He said.

Vector frowned and hesitantly went to the edge of the battlement to look over.

He cried out in surprise and jumped back as a clawed hand latched into the stone.


	24. Cullen

He looked over the correspondence in his hand as they walked around the courtyard. A requisition to start building a training yard and infirmary. "The infirmary is priority." Cullen finally said. "We need to get the sick out of the cold."

He scratched a few notes on the paper and handed back to one of his soldiers. "Make sure this gets…"

A cry of surprise and fright echoed around them.

Cullen's eyes shot up to the battlements. Gritting his teeth he charged up the stairs.

"Keep Aiden back!" A voice yelled.

It sounded familiar, but he had no chance to identify it.

Cullen drew his blade.

"No! Let me go!" Aiden yelled.

Cullen skidded to a halt at the top of the battlements.

He found Alec with a fire ball in his hand. Varric stood in the background holding on tightly to a squirming Aiden. Vector Hawke stood with his staff at the ready. As much of a shock as it was to see the Champion of Kirkwall there, the creature on the ground was more of one.

It –  _she_ , because it was obviously female considering she only wore enough cloth to barely cover her breasts and womanhood – lay on her back breathing heavily with her eyes closed tight. She looked humanoid in facial features and body structure, but where their legs bent forward hers bent back and ended in talons, as did her fingers. Horns swooped back from her forehead splitting her short black hair. Her skin was scaled and as black as night. A tail lay beside her leg twitching and giant bat wings lay under her at an awkward angle.

**No.** Cullen thought.  **Not bat wings. Dragon.**

_"_ _Mamae!"_  Aiden called and shoved against Varric finally breaking the dwarves hold. He rushed to the creature's side before anyone could stop him.  _"Mamae."_  He whispered.

All of their eyes widened in shock.

The creature finally opened her eyes and Cullen gasped. Familiar blue eyes stared up at the boy.

She raised a hand to Aiden's cheek and gently stroked it. "Aiden." Rayne said in a weak voice before her eyes rolled back and her hand fell as she passed out.

Her draconic appearance began to melt away returning her to her normal body.

Seeing her in nothing but tattered cloth that barely covered anything jolted Cullen from his paralyzed state. He jabbed his sword into its scabbard and he rushed to her.

As he bent down and moved her to pick her up he looked up to a shocked soldier. "Get Solas!" Cullen snapped.

The soldier jumped and rushed down the stairs.

Not giving anyone a second look he charged down the stairs with Rayne cradled against him. She was still breathing which was a good sign. Even through his armor and coat he was acutely aware of the heat that came off her body and the way it curved flawlessly with his.

He shook his head. This was  _definitely_ not the time to be thinking such things. He berated himself for allowing those thoughts into his head as he dashed past crowds of people and up the steps to the main hall and made a beeline for the rotunda which Solas had claimed.

The elf was already at work cleaning off a tattered couch and laying a blanket over it. "Set her here. I will be back." Not wasting a glance at the Commander he rushed up the stairs.

Cullen gently lay Rayne down on the couch, her hands folded over her exposed midsection. Looking down at her he pulled off his coat and draped it over her. It was big enough that it draped effortlessly over her and covered her completely.

She immediately nuzzled her face into the fur lining at the shoulders and murmured softly.

He studied her. She looked pale, but that could be due to exhaustion. But there didn't seem to be any mark on her of her fight with the archdemon. But what if there was some internal damage? That was why he had immediately brought her to Solas.

Cullen's eyes jumped up from Rayne as he heard feet descending down the stairs.

Solas mixed something in a bowl before putting it on the table and grabbing a chair that was still sturdy enough to sit in and then finally turned to Rayne.

"I saw no wounds on her." Cullen said. "But not knowing if anything internal…"

"You were wise to bring her to me." Solas said as he sat and gently moved Cullen's coat down her body to expose her chest and middle.

Rayne let out a small whine of protest but did not wake.

Solas brought his hands to her stomach and began adding pressure and moving them around. Cullen had seen enough medical personnel work that he knew the elf was trying to feel for anything within that might be broken, burst, protruding or anything else.

"Hmm." Solas said as he moved his hands around. "I don't feel anything." He removed his hands and they began to glow a warm light blue. "I'll just send some magic into her and see…" He brought his hands back down.

"Solas, don't!" Aiden's voice yelled as the boy skidded into the library with Alec, Vector and Varric.

His warning came too late.

As soon as Solas touched her a light burst from her and threw him back in his chair causing it to topple backwards.

Cullen flinched and rushed to the elf. "Master Solas. Are you alright?" He asked as he knelt. His eyes went briefly to Rayne but she seemed unaffected.

Solas groaned and rubbed his head. "What…"

Aiden came to Cullen's side and knelt, a sheepish look on his face. "I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner."

Solas opened one eye to look up at the boy. "What was  _that?"_

"A defense." Aiden explained. "So no one can tamper with her body or mind if she in unconscious."

With another groan Solas sat up.

Cullen watched him. "Will you be alright?"

The elf nodded. "Yes, yes. It was more surprising than anything else."

"That's because you weren't able to do more." Aiden said. "If you had more power in your spell…"

Solas grimaced. "Noted."

Cullen shook his head and stood. He went back over to Rayne and covered her back up. "Then, how are you supposed to make sure she is alright?"

Vector joined him at his side. "If I know my cousin, she's no doubt fine. She wouldn't have made the journey here if she had been severely wounded. She no doubt healed herself before coming here. Which explains her weakened state." He shook his head and rueful smile came to his face. "She's a tough bitch." He said in amusement.

Cullen shook his head ignoring the 'bitch'. "As I've found out, you Amells are tough to kill." He finally turned to the other man. "It is good to see you well, Champion."

Vector grinned. "And you Knight-Captain." He bowed his head. "Forgive me, Commander."

Cullen smirked.

Solas cleared his throat. "You should leave Rayne alone to rest."

"I'm not leaving." Aiden snapped.

Cullen shook his head. "You need to get dinner, if you still wish to come in and sit with her before bed. You can."

Solas scowled. "Commander…"

He turned on the elf and cut him off. "He  _can_  come back."

Solas' frowned deepened but he didn't dispute it.

He turned back to Aiden who was chewing on the inside of his cheek. Finally he sighed. "Alright." He gave Cullen a sidelong look and a smirk. "Only because she told me to do what you said."

Cullen smiled. "Go on then. Sooner you're done eating the sooner you can come back."

The boy nodded and spun around out of the library.

He rubbed the back of his neck and cast one last long look at Rayne before turning back to the Inquisitor. "I assume there have been some new developments?" He cast his eyes to Vector.

Alec smirked. "You could say that. We should all convene in…" He frowned. "Uh, do we have a place where we  _can_  convene in private?"

Cullen chuckled. "It was one of the first things Leliana and I sought out. I'll show you to our new War Room." He turned his attention to Solas. "If she awakens, I want to be informed immediately."

The elf was staring down at Rayne with a perplexed look on his face.

"Solas."

He jumped and looked over to Cullen. "Of course. I'll keep you apprised of any developments."

Cullen stared at him. Finally he turned back to Alec. "Shall we?


	25. Amell

Her dreams were filled with nightmares of archdemons and darkspawn.

And the whispers… They were maddening!

The journey to Skyhold had been trying. The amount of healing she had to do on herself after all the damage that this 'archdemon' had caused her had left her barely conscious afterwards. Rayne vaguely remembered passing out at one point to finally sleep in a cave that offered her some protection against the elements.

During that time she had sent her mind out looking for the survivors. She hoped to connect either with Aiden or even Cullen or Leliana. And in the end she had come across Alec half frozen in the snow ready to give up.

He had thought her something conjured from his fatigued addled mind. In truth it was due to the amount of fatigue that she was able to so easily slip into his mind and speak to him. Encouraging him to keep going. And that meant getting him angry. She had left his mind when she felt Cullen's familiar aura nearby and went into a dark sleep for two days.

When she finally awoke, her body was stiff and she felt swore everywhere. Because of the wing that the 'archdemon' had ripped from her back, she had to go into her half-breed state to repair the damage instead of her normal form. And changing back and forth from shapes was too taxing in her weakened state.

She remembered finally arriving at Skyhold – a name she picked up from the minds around her – and nearly colliding with its stone walls as she attempted to land. She remembered climbing the wall and coming face-to-face with Aiden again before darkness reclaimed her.

But unlike before, as the familiar nightmares threatened to overtake her, she felt herself being wrapped in a protecting embrace instead. She didn't know what this was supposed to be. But she allowed herself to sink into it. She remembered trying to protest when the warmth left her and then it finally being returned. She thought she heard voices but the smells of leather, sweat and musk filled her senses acting like a lullaby.

Rayne tried opening her heavy eyes, but they would instantly fall again.

"You need more rest." A familiar voice said.

"Who…" She croaked.

He chuckled. "Already forgot me, Warden?"

She turned her head and forced her eyes slowly open. Everything was blurry, but she made out an elven shape. "Z-Zevran?"

He tilted his head. "I'm not sure whether to be insulted or not."

She rubbed her eyes and everything began to clear.

Solas sat at her side with an amused smile. "Sleep well?"

She blinked a few times and looked around. "Where am I?" Wincing as her bottom lip cracked.

He abruptly stood and went to a table in the middle of the room.

Rayne looked around some more.

The room was vastly empty for the most part. Only the couch and the table and cushioned chair were the only furniture. Scaffolding was at one side of the room, along with a few veil-fire torches along the walls to cast an eerie blue light in the room. There was no roof; instead she could see multiple floors going up. At the top she saw something hanging from the roof. But with the darkness she could not discern what it was.

She slowly sat up and leaned against the armrest. Her eyes went back to the walls around her. They were bare except for one; it looked like someone had recently done some painting. In her addled mind she couldn't figure out what it was supposed to be yet.

"Take this." Solas said back at her side.

She turned to him.

He held a cup of what looked like steaming tea.

She crinkled her nose but took it.

He chuckled. "Yes, I'm not much a tea drinker either." He said as he sat back in his chair and watched her drink. "But it is the best thing for you at the moment."

After her mouth and throat were thoroughly lubricated she spoke again. "Where am I?"

"We're in a place called Skyhold…"

She shook her head. "I know  _where_  we are. Where am I?" She moved her hand through the air.

"Oh, my quarters."

Rayne didn't know how she felt about that. "You sleep here?"

He smiled. "I haven't done a lot of sleeping in here the last few days."

"How long have I been out?" She rubbed her head as she felt a headache and the rumble of her stomach.

"Three days."

Her head shot up. "Three days!"

"Shh." He said holding a finger to his lips. "It's the middle of the night and there are those above us that are sleeping. Including our Spymaster in her perch."

Rayne shook her head. "It would figure that Leliana would choose the highest point." She set her now empty cup down on her lap.

Solas was quick however and grabbed it and took it back to the table and returned.

But her eyes were on the object that was acting as a blanket for her. "This is Cullen's coat."

He nodded. "We had attempted to give you a real blanket. But when we tried to remove this you protested in your sleep and looked uncomfortable. So, the Commander had valiantly relinquished it."

Rayne smiled and shook her head. "Of course he did."

They were silent a moment.

"Interesting defense magic, by the way." Solas finally said.

She flinched. "I had that going, did I?"

He nodded.

She sighed. "Sorry. I wasn't… in a very good state of mind when I got here. I didn't think to drop it. I take it you tried to heal me?"

He smirked. "Tried and failed. And wound up on the floor."

"Sorry."

He waved his hand dismissively. "That magic though… It's… familiar."

Rayne tried to keep her face still and shrugged. "You're not the only mage to learn tricks outside of the Circle."

He gave her a knowing smile. "Indeed."

She didn't like the way he smiled at her. It made her uncomfortable for multiple reasons.

After a few awkward moments and he realized she wasn't going to discuss the magic, he cleared his throat. "I hear you had an interesting entrance into Skyhold. The Inquisitor and the Champion nearly attacked you."

She frowned. "Inquisitor and Champion?"

"Ah, yes. A lot has transpired since you were last with us. The Inquisition has finally designated a leader. A new Inquisitor."

She raised an eyebrow. "Alec, I assume."

Solas nodded.

"Good. And the Champion?"

"Of Kirkwall."

Her eyes widened. "Vector? Vector is here?"

"Was." Solas corrected. "He left with the Inquisitor yesterday along with everyone else. I volunteered to stay behind as they went to Crestwood."

She scratched her head in thought.  **Crestwood.**  Memories came back to her of traveling to the Circle tower and going through lands that belonged to Bann Loren. Crestwood belonged to that region. She had never actually been there though.

"What's in Crestwood?"

Solas shook his head and rose. "Before we go into that, you need something to eat. I'll bring you back something. Until then, rest." Without another word he turned and exited one of the doors leading into Maker only knew where.

Rayne sighed and stretched which caused the coat to fall from her chest. She looked down seeing she was still in the tattered remnants of her armor that she had destroyed when changing in Haven into the dragon.

She sighed in annoyance at the thought and gently moved the coat off of her and rose on unsteady legs. She simply stood there a few moments making sure she wasn't going to collapse. When everything seemed stable she summoned her last armor set. It materialized on the couch perfectly folded.

She stripped out of her rags, grimacing as she realized she needed a bath. She turned around looking and finally found a wash basin. She poured fresh cold water from a pitcher into the bowl, using magic she began to warm up the water until it steamed. Taking a nearby towel she dipped it in and began scrubbing away the worse of the dirt.

She was so engrossed in her task that she didn't her the soft click of one of the doors opening.

"Maker's breath!" Exclaimed a familiar voice.

Rayne's eyes widened and she spun around to find Cullen turning cherry red and he spun around.

"Cullen?"

The red in his face was spreading to his neck and ears. "I… I didn't… uh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you would be… I thought you would be…" He shook his head. "Maker." He mumbled.

Rayne quickly grabbed her armor and began pulling it on. Once she had on her corset and breeches she turned back to him. "It's safe."

He took a deep breath and turned to her. His face was still red, but not nearly as bad as before. "I… I swear I didn't…"

She shook her head. "It's my own fault." She tried to give him a reassuring smile. "Besides I'm sure it's nothing you haven't seen before."

He diverted his gaze. "Perhaps. But its different… with it… being you."

She wasn't sure how to take that. "Mine is just another woman's body." She joked. "Nothing special."

His eyes went back to her. "I'm sure you could find people who would say otherwise." He said softly.

Now it was her turn to blush. She wasn't sure if it was his words, the implications of them or his stare that caused it.

All of the sudden a rush of dizziness caught her. She groaned and placed a hand on her head as she closed her eyes trying to keep the room from spinning.

"Rayne." Cullen said in a worried voice.

She felt him gently grasp her arms to steady her.

She waved him back. "I'm fine." She tried opening her eyes again, only to have the room spin again. She groaned. "Okay, maybe not."

Cullen gently led her back to the couch and sat her down beside him after moving his coat. "You need food."

"Solas is getting that." She said through gritted teeth. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. Everything had finally settled down.

His warm brown eyes were filled with worry as he stared at her.

She gave him a shaky smile. "Thank you."

He smiled gently at her and rubbed a thumb across her cheek. She could only imagine the grime on her face. "Are you alright?" He asked.

She nodded slowly. "Better now. I just know not to stand until I get food in my stomach."

He nodded and removed his hand from her face.

That was when she was aware that his hands had been bare.

She looked him over. He didn't wear his usual armor. Instead he was in a white wool shirt that was loosely tied in the front; the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows showing off the muscle in his arms. He still wore his leather breeches and boots, but everything else that was his usual attire was gone. It was as if seeing him for the first time.

In truth she couldn't remember the last time she had seen him out of armor. For as long as she'd known him at the Circle and after in Kirkwall she had always seen him in Templar armor and then here with his lion mantle and armor.

This new look showed off his muscled frame and physique. Rayne couldn't help but wonder what he looked like under that loose shirt.

She felt the heat come to her face thinking about running her hands over his chest. She quickly lowered her eyes away from him.

"What's wrong?" His voice laced with worry.

She was glad that he thought she was just having another bout of dizziness. She shook her head. "Nothing. Nothing." Finally feeling the heat in her face subside she pointed to his coat. "Thank you for that."

Cullen turned and chuckled. "You were loath to give it up." He picked up the coat and laid it across his lap.

She smiled. "It was a nice blanket."

He gave her a rueful smile. "I doubt it smelled all that pleasant."

"You'd be surprised." She said honestly.


	26. Amell

She grunted as she pulled at a particularly stubborn broken beam that sat in the pile in the middle of the room.

"You could ask for some help." Aiden said in amusement.

"What? And deny you the show of watching your mother make an ass of herself? Perish the thought." She growled and pulled again. It finally moved and she stumbled back as it came loose. She turned to him and grinned. "See? Smack your head against something long enough and soon it will give."

Aiden gave her a lopsided smile and shook his head.

"Your mother  _would_  know the benefits of stubbornness… and the drawbacks." Said an amused voice.

She turned to the door she had left open to let in the cool air as she worked and grinned. "Hey, I don't see you complaining."

Cullen stood in the doorway with a bemused look on his face and shook his head as he came in and looked around. "You would choose the most run down tower."

"At least mine has a roof." She tossed the beam in the cold hearth for kindling later. "One step up from yours."

She had visited Cullen's room the day after she awoke and wondered how he could stand it.

His was a two story tower like hers; both floors spacious. The bottom floor he had converted into an office in the days she was unconscious. His dark brown oak long desk sat at the far wall near a narrow window carved into the stone walls, the matching cushioned chair seemed to always be filled with scrolls and books which made her wonder if he actually ever used it for actual sitting. The desk was likewise a mess of papers, inks, scrolls and books, on the rare occasion she found a nondescript glass bottle of alcohol. Candles and torches lit up the room from iron holders on the walls around the room.

On the left side of the room were two shelves that were already being filled with books and various tools of use or the rare knick-knacks. By the door was a coat rack that he would hang his sword belt and fur coat at night. On the right side was a training dummy with usually at least one dagger always protruding from it. Rayne had found that odd but then amended they all needed their stress relievers.

Instead of stairs leading to the second floor was a ladder – the first thing she had to shake her head about. The floor was converted into a Spartan bedroom, Cullen had weakly protested her climbing up to see what he had done with the place. The bed was heavy oak, big enough for two and she hoped mages were used to move it up the ladder, if they weren't she was mildly curious how it got up there. A barrel stood sat beside it with a book, lantern and well used candle sitting on top. A trunk was thrust against the right wall with a few shirts folded on top, so she assumed it was used for clothing. Timber was stacked over in one corner near the hearth

In truth, all that wasn't bad. It was the huge gaping hole in the roof right above the bed, leaving the room cold and the sun shining directly on it.

Rayne hated sleeping in the cold. But over the year traveling Ferelden she had adapted. But one thing that stayed the same was she couldn't sleep with any light. She had to be shrouded in darkness, or at least her eyes did.

When she had seen that and slid down the ladder back down she had mentioned that.

Cullen had smirked and looked up from the pad in his hand. "Just means I'll have to keep a black scarf by the bed."

A slow smile came to her face.

He had looked at her in confusion until he realized where her mind had wandered for uses for that scarf. He had turned scarlet and went back to reading.

The tower she had chosen was at the other end of Skyhold from his and was about the same size.

Cullen looked around. "Using magic could clear out a lot of this mess more quickly."

"I said the same thing." Aiden mumbled.

Rayne rolled her eyes. "One should not use magic as a crutch." She grabbed onto another beam. She grunted as she pulled.

Cullen shook his head and came up behind her. His arms went around her to grasp on to the beam. "It's clearing rubble, Rayne. What's the point of magic if you're not going to use it?"

They pulled together and the beam immediately released itself.

They stumbled back releasing their hold. Cullen caught her around the waist to steady her.

She turned her head. "I use magic for the important things." She smirked. "I never thought I would hear you encouraging a mage to use more magic."

He chuckled and released his hold. "Not a mage. You. And I've always encouraged you studying magic and bettering yourself."

She gave him a warm smile. "That you did."

She remembered the final few years of her time at the tower and how Cullen would always be within eyeshot watching her work. She initially had been hesitant to cast magic around him, but he had quickly let her know his own fascination with watching her bend magic to her will.

"But I'm not studying magic now, nor bettering it."

"No?" He said in amusement. "You could chalk this up to… oh, learning proper house cleaning with magic."

She laughed. "I guess I could. I'll consider it. All depends on how frustrated I get later."

"Fair enough." Laughter was in his voice. "Where did you put all that furniture from Val Royeaux anyway?"

"The Undercroft. Harritt was kind enough to let me store it there for the time being. Was there something you needed, Cullen?" She finally asked as she picked up the beam and dragged it out the side door to leave it for construction workers since it was still in decent condition. "You very seldom make social calls."

He shrugged. "Maybe I just wanted to enjoy your company."

She stuck her head through the door. "Do you?"

He gave her a lopsided smile. "I always enjoy your company. But you're right. I came to deliver news."

She dropped the beam and came back inside dusting off her hands as she went to the pile and began picking out small pieces of wood. "Good news or bad?"

"A bit of both I guess."

With a dramatic flair she spun around and grabbed onto his coat with her free hand. "Give it to me straight."

He raised an eyebrow and looked at her like she had gone insane.

"Better get used to my random bouts of strange, so don't judge." She said turning back around.

"Wouldn't dream of it." He said with mild amusement. "The Inquisitor and his group have made it to Crestwood, but it will no doubt take some time to get to Hawke and his ally."

She nodded. It had been a week since Alec and the others left. "I figured as much. Maker only knows what has befallen Crestwood. I'm sure Vector will wait for them no matter how long it takes." The familiar knot of anxiety formed in her stomach. She felt she should be there. This does after all involve the Grey Wardens. "Anything else?"

"Workers are going to start clean up and preparations on the main watchtower in the next few days."

She dropped all the wood in her arms and sighed. "And that means this tower will become a waystation." She turned back to him.

Cullen grimaced. "I tried to work around it. But…" He shrugged. "You can still fix this place up. Just expect a lot of traffic."

She groaned and shook her head. "No. I'll find somewhere else." She tilted her head. "It was rather foolish for me to choose this tower anyway. I'll stop by the inn later to give the barkeep more coin to stay there until I find someplace."

Aiden frowned. "I don't see why you just don't stay in my room."

Rayne smirked. "Because I would keep you up all night. One of us should sleep, and I hold the position of the non-sleeper in the family."

"You could stay in my room." Cullen offered.

"Oh? Get that scarf?" She teased.

He rolled his eyes but she saw his cheeks turn pink. "Merely a suggestion. I think it's foolish that you have to pay to live here."

She shrugged. "It's only temporary. And I wasn't forced to. He was willing to let me stay for free, but I refused to budge on paying."

"Yes, and I'm sure he fought hard." Cullen said dryly.

"It's a business, Cullen." She motioned for Aiden to follow. She left the room and stood at the battlements overlooking the courtyard. "I'm sure I'll find somewhere quick."

The Commander sighed. "Very well. Do what you will. I need to return to my quarters. No doubt a new pile has arrived since I left." He said in annoyance.

Rayne smiled. "You and I are a pair."

He tilted his head. "Not that I'm disputing that. But what do you mean?"

"We're creatures of action. Paperwork and diplomacy are definitely not our forte."

He chuckled. "No, they are not." He nodded and began his walk across the battlements to his tower. He stopped abruptly. "Oh, by the way. I was wondering if you could help me with a training exercise tomorrow."

"Training exercise?"

"Help with defense techniques with some of our new Templar recruits and help offense with the mages from Redcliffe."

"I'm not the only mage here." She said dryly.

Cullen gave her a lopsided grin. "No, but you're one of the more competent and know how to hold back from causing too much damage. Things are still too… unsteady between the mages and Templars. Once things settle and they realize they are part of the same team, I'll put them against one another. Besides, you are my captain here since I sent Rylen out into the field."

She gave a mock solute. "Aye, sir!"

He rolled his eyes. "I'll take that as a yes." He turned again. "Tomorrow then." He called over his shoulder.

Rayne turned back to Aiden. "Shall we go take a look around then?"

He grinned and walked the opposite direction as Cullen.

* * *

An hour later they stood on the battlements that went behind Skyhold facing the mountains looking at a balcony.

"You sure that's not from Alec's room?" She asked again with her arms crossed over her chest as she studied the balcony.

"It's not. The balcony to his room was around the corner we just came from. No idea where this one leads." Aiden said.

Rayne looked down at her son. "Think you can make the climb?"

He snorted as if the question was offensive and went to the wall and studied it. "There are plenty of protruding stones. I can scale this in my sleep."

She smiled. "How about you do this one awake? We're in a bit of a time crunch."

"No fun." He teased. He pulled off his gloves and stretched until he couldn't anymore and pulled up with a grunt.

Rayne watched him ascend until he was halfway up. "How's the view?" She called.

Aiden turned and looked over the valley. "A little daunting actually." He yelled back over the wind.

Fifteen minutes later he pulled himself over the railing to the balcony and toppled over out of sight.

"Aiden?" She called.

He popped his head up and looked down. "Empty!"

"Now, just need to find the entrance." She mumbled. She pointed to the castle.

He nodded and disappeared into the darkness of the room after pushing in the rusted glass doors.

Rayne quickly went into the castle were the noise of nobles and construction met her. She crinkled her nose not liking all the noise and quickly went to the other end of the hall where a makeshift throne had been made for Alec to pass judgments. It was a simple oversize red cushioned chair with what looked like swords sticking up from the back. Josephine had assured Alec that a more accommodating throne would be made for him later. Rayne didn't think Alec cared one way or another. He had just smiled and nodded to appease their Ambassador.

That far back in the castle she felt Aiden's presence and followed it as it twined around what Rayne assumed was perhaps a stair case.

She went to the door that led down to the Undercroft and followed his movements. Yes, the room was definitely somewhere above the Undercroft, it sat at least two stories up from the main hall. Rayne put two fingers against the wall to the right of the door and began moving down the wall.

A group of Orlesian nobles nearby watched her with curiosity and whispered to one another.

Finally she stopped and tilted her head.

A soft rap came from the other side of the wall.

Rayne turned to nobles. "You may want to move back." She warned and turned back around.

Not caring if the nobles had moved, she tapped a few times on the wall and waited a few moments as she felt Aiden move away.

She took a deep breath and threw her hand back.

**1…**

**2…**

Grunting she threw her open palm at the wall.

Just as her hand was about to make contact the wall exploded inward.

Cries of surprise and fright echoes behind her. She didn't pay them any mind.

She poked her head through the new hole in the wall. "Aiden?" She called.

Her son came slowly down the rounding stairs and looked down at all the rubble on the stairs now. "You sure know how to make a mess of things." He looked up at her and smirked. "I doubt you can fit through that hole."

She chuckled. "No. But better to make sure I wasn't going to make something collapse this way."

"What in Andraste's name!" Exclaimed someone behind her.

She turned.

Josephine stood behind her with wide eyes and her mouth agape. "What's the meaning of this?"

Rayne shrugged. "I may have found my new room."

Once Josephine calmed down, it had taken only a few more hours to break down the rest of the wall that hid the stairwell with the aid of some workers and Bull who did a lot of the heavy lifting. The stone was still in good condition so construction workers wanted to salvage as much as they could.

Rayne walked up the circling stair case with Josephine behind her to make sure she didn't decide to do any other remodeling. As she suspected, the room finally came into view two stories later.

Aiden was at a window forcing it open to air out the room.

"How did you find this?" Josephine asked.

Rayne mussed her son's hair as she helped push open the window. "My scavenger here found the balcony."

"And he just  _climbed_  up to it? From the outside?"

Aiden grinned at the Ambassador. "Of course."

Josephine shook her head.

Rayne looked around.

The front room was empty for the most part. Iron tall candle holders were toppled on the floor and a chandelier lay in the center of the room. It had a hearth that went up to elbows with a stone shelf built into the wall above it.

She moved to the open door at the back wall. She studied the door; it was going to need replacing. The wood was crumbling and falling off the hinges. She looked into the second room. It was as big as the front room with another matching hearth with twining vines carved into the stone around it. At the other side of the room was the balcony with the stained glass doors. Broken and decayed furniture littered the floor, but that would be easily cleaned up. Iron loops dotted the walls for torches and candle holders.

She went to the hearth and inspected it and smiled.

In the back was another carving. One she recognized from elven lore. A wolf with multiple eyes.

"Well met Fen'Harel."

"Who?" Josephine asked.

"An elven god." Rayne said and stood. She turned and looked around a smile came to her face. "Needs a good dusting and get rid of the rubble." She nodded. "Yes, this will do."


	27. Cullen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I did steal the term "water dancing" from the series _A Song of Ice and Fire_ by George R.R. Martin. So, thank you GRRM for helping me come up with a name that worked with what I was trying to accomplish. Now...
> 
> Back to the story!

 

He watched a pair of Templars fighting with a frown on his face. "You have a shield in your hand, block with it!" He barked.

"Sorry." A voice called behind him.

Rayne rushed to the training ring that he had soldiers erect earlier that week.

Cullen couldn't help the smile that came to his face as he took in her appearance. "Going grey are we?" He teased.

She looked at him in confusion.

He gently brushed her hair and showed his now dirtied glove with dust on the palm.

"Well, that's embarrassing." She shook her head.

He stepped back as a dust cloud surrounded her. He hid a smile as she rubbed her hands through her hair noting how long it had gotten since she first joined the Inquisition.

Rayne smiled sheepishly. "Just finished dusting out the new room."

He raised an eyebrow. "Did you go rolling in the dust or something?"

"Of course not. You're the one that said I should use my magic. So I… blew out all the dust."

Cullen shook his head with an amused smile. "Alright. Are you ready then?"

She gave a mock salute and went to the fighting ring.

He turned to the Templars. "Halt!" He barked.

They were a little slow to cease banging their swords against one another. These men and boys were still green.

Once they had all turned to him he clasped his hands behind his back. "As you all know, Corypheus has at his disposal not only Red Templars but Venatori mages. You men," He said nodding to the Templars. "Have been beating on your fellow Templars ever since you joined the order. Very few of you have actually gone into combat with a mage."

His eyes ticked up as he saw a group of novice mage apprentices approach. Cullen had expressed his plan to Fiona about teaching her younger mages how to defend against their enemies. When they showed they had a good handle on that aspect of magic, they would begin on offense.

"As for you mages, you are going to learn to defend against magical attacks. Not only for yourself but for your brothers-at-arms, whether they be Templars or Inquisition soldiers."

"You're telling us we are going to have to rely on mages for protection?" A young Templar recruit, Lobek, said with a curl of his lip.

"You are." Rayne said before he could. "You're going to have to learn to rely on each other. You all stand under the Inquisition banner. You will be fighting beside one another, whether you like it or not. We can't very well fight our enemy if we're too busy fighting each other, now can we?"

Lobek flushed but held his tongue.

Cullen nodded. "I have requested Captain Rayne's assistance today." He gave her a sidelong look. "She has studied Tevinter Magister techniques, if I'm not mistaken?"

She sighed. "Unfortunately. But as First Enchanter Irving once said: All knowledge is power."

Cullen felt a twinge at mention of the First Enchanter, but he quickly pushed the feeling away and turned back to the groups of Templars and mages. "Just so. Which is the point of today's exercise. She will be showing how best to defend against their methods."

"Most will no doubt be using blood magic," Lobek said. "Will she be demonstrating that?"

Cullen frowned.

"Despite popular believe… I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name." Rayne said pleasantly.

"Lobek."

She nodded. " _Recruit_  Lobek, Magisters of the Imperium do in fact use magics other than just blood magic. And I know a few tricks that can mimic a specific blood spell."

Lobek didn't seem all that impressed. He nodded to Cullen. "Will you be fighting against her?"

Cullen had initially planned on it. But a new idea came to him. "No. You will."

Lobek's eyes widened. "M-me?"

He smirked. "What better way to learn than through hands on training?" He turned to Rayne. "Captain?"

"It would be my pleasure." She grasped the top log of the fence and swung over it.

Lobek looked on hesitantly as Rayne took up position at one end of the ring.

"All other recruits, out of the ring!" Cullen ordered.

Everyone was quick to move this time. They were anxious to see this display.

Finally Lobek frowned and shrug. "Sure. Why not? You're just a mage."

Rayne smirked and waited as her opponent went to the other end of the ring and drew his sword and shield.

Cullen crossed his arms. "The arena is yours, Captain."

She went to the middle of the ring and walked in a small circle putting her back to Lobek. "First off, mages, I will not be teaching this particular trick. So don't even ask. As I mentioned before, there are a few tricks in magic that can mimic a blood spell…"

Cullen had been listening to her speak that he jumped when he heard a war cry.

He turned.

Lobek had crossed the ring and yelled in what he thought was going to be a triumphant blow against Rayne.

His blade never came close.

Rayne ducked under his swing that was aiming for her neck. If it wasn't for what happened next, Cullen would have jumped in to beat the boy bloody for such a stunt.

Lobek stood frozen in mid-swing. His eyes were wide in a look of abject terror.

Cullen stood there dumbstruck.

Rayne slowly rose and went around Lobek's still form. "Lesson one Templars" She said calmly. "When attacking, don't be so blighted noisy. An enemy that doesn't know you're coming is more easily defeated." She leaned in close to Lobek's face. "That was your first mistake. Had I been a true enemy, you'd be dead.

"Now, then," She plucked Lobek's sword from his hand and twirled it around. "Has anyone ever heard of a sword fighting technique known as 'the water dance'?"

A few people shrugged but most were too enthralled in the display to answer even that much.

"No? Well," She continued to walk around the frozen Templar as she spoke. "The water dance, swift and sudden. It's a technique used for assassins and sell swords with smaller frames."

"Why is it called the water dance?" Asked a mage.

"Good question." She turned to Lobek and a dark look came to her face. "All men are made of water. When you pierce them," She pointed the blade she had taken at Templar's abdomen. "The water leaks out and they die."

Cullen didn't think Lobek's eyes could get any wider, he had been wrong.

Rayne smirked and lodged the sword into the ground. "What you see me doing now with Recruit Lobek, is something like a magic version of water dancing. A well trained mage takes control of the water in a person's body." To demonstrate she twisted her hand.

Lobek spun around and ramrod stood straight, the arm that held his shield extended from the rest of his body.

Rayne went and pulled the shield from him and tossed it aside. "Your weapons mean nothing when your arrogance becomes your undoing." Never touching him, she directed Lobek's extended arm to the Templar's side.

Cullen licked his lips. It had been a long time since he had seen her wield offensive magic like this. And he had never seen anything like this from her. "And this is the ability you spoke of? The one like the blood mages use?"

She nodded. "They take control of your body through the blood, and it can become… very unpleasant." She smiled at Lobek. "But don't worry I won't do that to you." She looked back to the surrounding groups. "But this is the type of magic you must learn to defend yourself against, which is no simple task when you will be facing magisters that can cast this type of spell and others without you ever knowing before it's too late.

"You must learn to feel the magical shift to anticipate their attack." She twisted her hand again.

Lobek fell heavily to the ground onto his knees. His eyes were no longer filled with fear, but with anger and hate.

Rayne looked down at him and tilted her head and tsked. "It should take more than that to piss you off." She twisted her hand one last time.

Lobek grunted and fell forward.

Cullen winced.

"So, learn anything useful, Recruit? Or are you still thinking you can handle a  _mage?_ "

The Templar growled and got back on his knees.

"Growl all you want, you don't scare me. And I promise you, it won't scare a Venatori." She spun around and walked to the perimeter. "Now then, as I said before blood magic isn't the only type of magic that they will use. Shall we venture into the other schools?"

Lobek finally stood and yanked his sword out of the ground and charged Rayne. He had at least learned this time not to yell. But it didn't help him.

Rayne spun avoiding the blade. When Lobek continued to pursue she danced back with a bored expression on her face.

Anger grew on Lobek's face. His swinging became more erratic and lethal.

Cullen clenched his jaw. Lobek was now hell bent on causing actual harm. "Enough!" He barked and jumped over the post.

Unfortunately, in his anger induced haze, Lobek wasn't paying attention. Rayne on the other hand was distracted for a heartbeat.

In that one heartbeat her movement stalled and allowed Lobek to get inside and his blade made a connection.

Cullen's eyes went wide as Rayne hissed in pain as the sword sliced open her corset from the top of her belly bottom up to between her breasts, leaving a blood red trail in its wake.

Lobek gave a bark of laughter as he finally stopped swinging and breathed heavily from the exertion. "How does it feel  _mage?"_

She had been looking down at the wound on her chest that wasn't deep, but tears of blood ran down her chest and abdomen.

She finally looked up, a dangerous glint in her eye.

"Rayne…" Cullen said hesitantly.

"I don't know." She finally said to Lobek. Her voice was unnaturally calm for the situation. "You tell me, how  _does this_  feel?"

Lobek tilted his head; Cullen was unable to see his face. "How does…"

It all happened in moments.

Rayne's lyrium brands burst to life, Cullen felt a shift in the wind now blowing against him. Rayne moved her arms in a circular motion and thrust them in Lobek's direction.

Lobek cried out in shock as he was lifted off his feet by the wind and thrown back and into the fence.

Cullen winced and was surprised the fence didn't break by the impact. Lobek's groaning was indication he would live. " _I said enough!"_  He yelled.

The wind died down and Rayne's brands went back to normal. "And that is what arrogance leads to." She grunted and bent over on herself, but still managed to stay standing.

"We're done for today." Cullen said walking towards her. He motioned to Lobek. "Someone get him to the infirmary to make sure nothing is broken."

A few of Lobek's Templar friends rushed to help him and the rest of the crowd slowly began to disperse.

"What were you thinking?" Cullen growled in a low voice at Rayne, making sure no one else heard. He reached for her to help.

She moved away from him. "I'm fine." She said through clenched teeth and spun around.

He followed after her as she exited the ring and went to the stables.

Inside was a cold fire pit and a work station with scraps of wood, tools and paint. The place was claimed by Blackwall as his place of residency, and Cullen knew that the Veteran Warden liked to work with his hands when time allowed.

Rayne went up the stairs that led to Blackwall's sleeping quarters. He was currently in Crestwood with Alec so they had no fear of disturbing him. She went to the basin and conjured water inside and dipped a nearby towel in and began to clean her wound.

"Now, answer me." He finally said watching her.

She flinched and hissed in pain as she cleaned. "And what question was it you asked?"

Cullen shook his head and went to her. "Sit." He said and took the towel from her.

"Cullen…" She protested.

"Sit." He ordered.

She frowned but seeing him adamant she went to the nearest stack of hay and sat.

"Lay back."

She rolled her eyes but complied.

Once she was laid down he sat next to her and eased her blood soaked bodice away from the wound, taking care not to move it too much. He was finally aware of how easily her breasts could fall out. "I had asked what you were thinking with that display." He gently wiped the blood from her chest.

She winced. "Which part?"

"All of it." He dipped the bloodied towel in the basin and wrung out as much as he could before going back to her chest.

"You have to admit, he needed…" she hissed as he went over the wound. "A good lesson in humility."

"And you honestly think he got that lesson? Hmm? After all that?"

She shrugged.

"All it did was help fan the anger and hostility between mages and Templars. We're supposed to be working together." He looked up at her face.

She diverted her gaze and looked out the stable. Outside voices drifted up to them.

They sat in quiet for a time while he continued to clean the wound.

He wasn't really angry with her. In truth, he agreed. Lobek needed to be taught a lesson, which is why he had nominated him to fight against Rayne. Had Lobek not attacked like he did after she released him, things wouldn't have gone out of control like they did.

It wasn't anger that was fueling him. It was worry.

"I know." She finally said softly. She took a deep breath and her lyrium brands came to life.

He watched the gash in her chest begin to stitch itself back together as he continued to wipe away the blood.

"My anger got the better of me."

He smirked as he dipped the towel into the basin again. "Well, in your defense, I would have been pretty angry too if someone tried to split me naval to nose."

"It's no excuse. I goaded him into attacking me. I wanted him to learn that anger and arrogance were not a tool used lightly in a fight." She sighed. "And what happens? I make the same foolish mistake he did."

Cullen wiped the last bits of blood off just as her wound completely healed. "I think you handled yourself very well."

She turned to him and gave him a weak smile. "I think you're just biased."

He chuckled. "Perhaps." He nodded to chest. "You're going to need new armor."

Rayne groaned and sat up, taking care to keep the blood and water soaked corset as closed as possible. "This was my last one. I haven't had the time to order or make anything new after I destroyed the last set at Haven."

"I'm sure Josephine can help you with that, all depending on what you want." He offered.

"I'm sure she can. But that doesn't help me  _now._  I have nothing else to wear." She groaned again. "Except a dress."

Cullen gave her a lopsided smile. "I recall you looking nice in a dress." He felt heat come to his cheeks as he remembered the last robes he had seen her in before she left the Circle to join the Wardens.

"Perhaps. But they're horrible for fighting." Her nose scrunched up.

He couldn't help himself. He placed an index finger on the tip of her nose. "Guess that just means you'll be restricted on your fighting." He removed his finger.

She laughed. "Guess so." She gave him a warm smile. "You haven't done that in… a very long time."

He shrugged sheepishly.

Rayne rose from the hay stack. Still holding onto her corset she bent over and kissed his cheek. "I've missed it." She whispered in his ear.

She turned around and began her decent back down to ground level.

Cullen just continued to sit there staring dumbly after her.


	28. Amell/Cullen

She strummed her fingers across the cords allowing a constant flow of music to thrum in the background of all the noise and smiled to herself as Bull's boisterous laughter filled the tavern. No one other than their companions that drank with him noticed.

The Herald's Rest was near to bursting. Soldiers were getting as much of their last days at Skyhold before a good portion of them were sent to march onto the Western Approach. Rayne felt a little bad for those going, she had been to the Western Approach once years ago. It wasn't a very pleasant place.

It had been two weeks since her training exercise with Cullen. Alec had still yet to return from Crestwood but he had made contact with Stroud and Vector and sent ahead information that they would be heading to the Western Approach after returning to Skyhold.

"You should wear a dress more often, Rayne." Bull called to her.

She scowled and raised her head from the lute in her hands. "Don't press your luck."

Rayne hated wearing dresses and robes that were common in Circle towers before the mage rebellion. They were too constricting and didn't allow for very much maneuverability. Yes, some may be beautiful to look at, but they were a hindrance to a real fighter.

Varric grinned at her. "I think I can count on one hand how many times I've seen in you a dress, Angel-face. And I agree with Bull, you should do it more often."

She rolled her eyes, all the while continuing to strum a tune on her lute. "There is a reason for that."

The dwarf shook his head. "You need to relax too, y'know?"

"I do." She said dryly. She tried explaining before.

They were at war and she liked to be ready at any moment's notice. Too many times had she been caught unaware and unready for a fight. She soon learned to sleep mostly clothed and her weapons within reach. Even when she was in the arms of a lover, she always kept weapons and a long shirt near. Old remnants from her days during the Blight that stuck with her.

Thinking about those memories made her pause in her playing and grab the glass on a table near her. She swallowed down the whiskey, a pleasant burn hit the back of her throat as she set down the glass and motioned to the barmaid for a refill. She knew better than to get drunk, but a good buzz would do just fine.

After finding something that would cover her body she had gone to Josephine to send a tailoring request to Antiva. The Ambassador had initially been thrilled by the prospect of adding some 'flare' to Rayne's wardrobe. She immediately put a screeching halt to all of Josephine's ideas. Rayne knew what she wanted.

Josephine had been aghast at her wardrobe choices. "You cannot go around looking like... like..."

Rayne had raised her eyebrow. "An Antiva harlot?" She offered.

Josephine flushed. "You are the Hero of Ferelden! You-"

Rayne had snapped finally. "Am a  _fighter_ first and foremost. I am not here to pander to Orlesian nobles and what they think is appropriate for a  _Ferelden_  Grey Warden Mage."

"It's easier access." Bull quipped, bringing Rayne back to the present. A suggestive grin was on his face.

She gave him a deadpan look. "I'm pretty sure your usual menagerie of tavern girls give you that." Her eyes went to the barmaid that was pouring her a new glass.

The barmaid's cheeks turned a light shade of pink and hurried off.

Rayne simply shook her head and threw back the new glass.

"But you seem like much more fun!"

She strummed a few more cords finishing the song she had been playing before her drink. When she finished she raised the lute and called, "Maryden, you're up my dear!"

The bard had been over in a corner flirting with a group of soldiers, enjoying the extended break Rayne was giving her. But she immediately jumped up when she heard her name.

Rayne rose from the bench she had been sprawled across and stretched. She handed Maryden the lute. "Well, gentlemen," She looked under the table they were sitting at and smirked at the thin legs poking out from underneath. "And Sera. I'm calling it."

They all dramatically groaned.

"Need an escort back?" Bull asked.

"And deny you from the barmaids? I would never be so inconsiderate." She quipped

"I can walk with you." Varric offered.

Unlike Bull, Varric's offer was genuine. Rayne had no worry of the dwarf trying to persuade his way down her pants... or dress.

Rayne waved him away. "I'll be fine. I'm not stumbling drunk like the rest of you drunkards."

Varric grinned and raised his mug before taking a swallow.

Wishing them a good night and hopefully an easy morning when they woke up with the hangovers they no doubt would have, Rayne pushed through the crowds of soldiers until she got to the door and exited.

She stood outside the door as it closed muting the sounds of laughter and talk behind her allowing the cool night air to push away the heat from inside. The night wasn't as cold as it had been months ago. Summer was finally hitting the mountains, it wouldn't get hot up in the still snow-capped mountains, but the temperature wouldn't be frigid.

The wind had finally died down from earlier, but the courtyard was darker than usual. Torches had yet to be relit after the wind had blown most of them out.

She searched the darkness as best she could. When she didn't see any threats she began her trek back to the main hall.

Halfway there, she decided instead to walk off the thrumming buzz in her head, choosing to head down towards the main gate and then to the stable to see Elgar and Ghost. The old direwolf was moving slower than usual, making it difficult to be set loose in the mountains to go hunting with Elgar when need be.

Rayne's throat constricted as she thought of what she needed to do in the next few weeks.

The quiet of the night began to really hit her as she slowly walked through the courtyard. Ever since a hospice was built on the other side of the tavern, the nights seemed unnaturally quiet.

She took the final step off the stairs leading down into the lower courtyard and halted. She frowned as her ears perked up.

Rayne turned to look behind her, but all she saw was dark shadows. Nothing moved and no more noise came to her. She stood there longer trying to get her eyes to penetrate the darker corners and nooks. But she saw nothing.

After waiting for a few minutes to see if anything or anyone would let themselves be known, she finally shrugged. Dismissing the sound as some small creature or even a patrol on the ramparts.

She turned back to her walk unaware of the three shadows following in her wake.

* * *

 

* * *

He sat at his desk reading over his reports.

It was late enough that he need not worry about anyone else coming to his quarters unless it an emergency. So he had chosen to change out of his usual armor and furred coat into a light cotton shirt with the front slightly opened to reveal skin and a bit of chest hair, the long sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He still wore his dark brown leather pants and black boots, but removed the plate armor that usually covered them.

Cullen sighed and laid down the parchment in his hand and ran a hand through his hair, no doubt messing up the easy waves he worked his naturally curly hair into. All the reports were the same. They needed more information in the before making any more decisions.

 **A few more days, perhaps less.**  He thought to himself. Hopefully the Inquisitor would have to more information on what was transpiring with the Grey Wardens. His report from Crestwood had been vague, just saying something was transpiring with the Wardens and he would give a full report on his return.

Cullen was no fool though. It would take Alec at the very least a week to return and that was if the roads and weather were kind.

He sighed again. "Too much to do." He said softly to himself.

Finally needing a break from the pile of papers on his desk, he rose from his chair. Bones popped from being in one place for so long and he groaned in annoyance. He shouldn't feel as old as he did. But years of service to the Templars and the Chantry were finally catching up to him. The lyrium withdrawal didn't help matters.

Thinking on that he steeled himself for the conversation with the Inquisitor about his choice to stop taking lyrium.

Pushing away thoughts of the addictive mineral, he went to one of the side doors and exited his room. His room was only marginally warmer than it was outside due to the huge hole in his roof. But the light breeze felt good on his skin and helped push away the cobwebs.

One of the soldiers on patrol nodded to him as he made his rounds on the rampart.

Cullen nodded in return and continued his walk, his footfalls muted on the stone. When he was finally alone he leaned against the side of the battlements and took in Skyhold. It was darker than usual. The next shift of guards would go around and light the torches again when they came through. Truth be told, he liked the darkness more.

He let the dark and silence envelope him, making it seem like he was alone in the world.

 **You are alone in the world.**  A bitter voice said inside his head.

A darker mood settled over him. It wasn't the first time he had felt melancholy about the lonely life he led. His family was in South Reach, trying to stay out of the chaos. And that is where he wanted them. He had made a few acquaintances while in the Inquisition, but could he truly call them friends? He didn't even know. No one to share his bed on cold nights; not that he would want them to see the nightmares that plagued him.

Cullen furiously shook his head trying to throw the dark mood. That was when a noise down below caught his attention.

From his vantage point he was able to see a slender form in a dress walking down the stairs from the upper courtyard. The person was obviously a woman, but he could make little else out. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned to something behind her.

After a few moments she turned back around and slowly walked in the direction of the stables.

Cullen watched her until he saw movement from the top of the stairs. He frowned as he watched three forms detach themselves from the darkest shadow they could find and made their way down the stairs as quietly as possible.

His frown deepened as he noticed their furtive movements. Like a cat stalking its prey. And he realized with anger, the woman was their prey.

The anger that welled in him made his blood boil. Soldiers under his command were going to attempt to attack the woman. He knew that without a doubt.

Gritting his teeth he rushed as quietly as he could back to his quarters and pulled a dagger from his sword belt that hung on a rack near the door. He just prayed to Andraste that he wouldn't have to use it.


	29. Amell

The market area of Skyhold seemed even darker than the rest. And she felt like she was being watched. The hair on the back of her neck began to stand on end.

Rayne knew better than to doubt her gut. Someone was watching. Someone hostile. They had to be, if they were friendly they wouldn't feel the need to watch her from the shadows.

She stopped in her tracks and tried listening again. And again she heard nothing. Her right hand began to twitch, her body going into automatic.

As she began to turn, in the hopes of seeing who was following her, a massive form bowled into her. She grunted in surprise and was hurled to the nearest wall. She was able to keep herself from crashing into it and intended on spinning on her would be attacker.

But another form detached itself from the shadows nearest her and grabbed a handful of hair on the back of her head and slammed her head into the stone.

Rayne cried out as pain exploded in her head. The hit caused her vision to flicker as she fell forward onto her knees. She cursed herself for being taken by surprise as she shook her head trying to clear her vision. Before she could, a sharp kick from a plated boot to her ribs caused her to fall onto her back.

The sharp pain and the force that knocked out the air in her lungs kept her from crying out again.

"Gag her." One of them said in hushed tones. "Drag her to the back."

Anger flared in her. Words of power on her lips, she thrust her hand up. Unsure of where their faces actually were. Her vision still blurry, she just lashed out. Fire began to form in her hand and then she felt it...

Her magic dissipated as soon as it began to form. Cancelled out and stopping any other magical attempts.

**Templars.**  She thought. Or at least one was.

One of them grabbed her and yanked her up, shoving cloth into her mouth. Sneering she punched forward, catching one in the throat. He staggered back, coughing and choking.

She was rewarded with a harsh smack to the face. The cloth in her mouth muffled any cry of pain she may have had. The slap made it feel like her eye was about to explode on impact. She was roughly turned and shoved against the wall.

"Give me a belt." One hissed. "Fucking mage."

It took them only seconds to start binding her.

Rayne wouldn't give in without more of a fight. Her hands may have been bound, and magic made useless. But she wasn't helpless yet.

She waited as the man behind her mumbled as he tied her hands.

She felt him shift closer trying to tie a knot.

She braced herself for the pain. And then threw her head back. Her already hurting head met with the satisfying crunch of cartilage and warm blood on the back of her back.

Even more satisfying was the screech of pain from the man as he stumbled back.

**Two.**  She thought with satisfaction. They were far from out of commission, she knew. But they were at least out for the moment.

This earned her another shove of her head into the stone wall. The impact caused everything to go white and she felt hands around her waist as she was lifted over someone's shoulder. The amount of pain in her head and the small amount of alcohol in her stomach was beginning to make her feel sick.

Luckily for her stomach, even though she would have loved to have vomited on the man carrying her, they didn't go far. She was thrown unceremoniously onto ground, grunting as she hit it. Her vision finally cleared up enough that she looked up into the face of her attackers.

Two she didn't recognize, which wasn't surprising. There were far too many soldiers and people in general for her to keep track of everyone. But all three were Templars. One's face was covered with blood that was he futilely trying to clean off. The other stood towards the back watching the leader stand over her.

The leader  _was_ a face she recognized.

Her eyes widened.  **Lobek.**  She should have seen an attack coming from him as she remembered the raw hatred on his face. But at the time she didn't think much of it.

And what she saw in his eyes wasn't the type of attack she would have anticipated.

She knew that hard glint in his eyes. She had seen it at the tower. A beating she could handle. But this?

Uncontrollable fear gripped her. She felt like a child again.  **Nononono! Not again!** She screamed in her head and tried to squirm backwards as best as she could. And deep down she hated herself for her fear and what she was doing now.

The Templar grinned at her distress. "You understand what is going to happen to you now. Don't you mage?"

Rayne futilely shook her head, trying to deny what was going to happen to her. She tried calling out past the gag in her mouth. But it was no use. Her mind flashed between what was currently happening to her and past memories that threatened to smother her.

The leading Templar knelt on the ground and grabbed one of her legs and began pulling her to him.

With what little strength she could muster she attempted to kick out with her free leg. All this gained her was a hit to his hand holding her and a very annoyed look from the Templar. He grabbed the hem of her dress and yanked as hard as he could. The dress was a flimsy thing so easily ripped up to her hips leaving her legs completely exposed and only smallclothes covering her womanhood.

Lobek grinned viciously and grabbed both her legs and yanked her to him. She was barely aware of the gravel and the dirt cutting up the back of her thighs as terror seized her. Once she was close enough to his liking, he began unbuckling himself.

Rayne squeeze her eyes shut and did something she hadn't done since before she left the Circle. She prayed. To who, she didn't know. She didn't care. She prayed it would go quick. She prayed that they would kill her after because she didn't think she could handle it again. She prayed Aiden would never hear of this no matter what her fate may be.

Another yank to her legs, drawing her closer. She felt his bare skin against hers.

A hand grabbing her smallclothes and ripping them off.

And then… a grunt of surprise…


	30. Cullen

He at first couldn't find the woman or the men following her. He began cursing himself. He should have just followed instead of wasting precious time going for a weapon first.

And then Cullen heard the grunts and whimpers of fear. He made a beeline in the direction they were coming from.

He skidded to a halt at the opening of the alcove. No one had noticed him yet. But he noticed who was on the ground.

Rayne lay on the ground gagged and no doubt hands bound behind her from the way she was laying. The bottom half of her body exposed. But that wasn't what held Cullen's attention.

It was the abject terror in her eyes. They were as wide as plates and glistening with unshed tears. Then she squeezed her eyes shut preparing for the inevitable.

Anger welled up inside of him as he grabbed the nearest Templar and threw him out the entrance.

Moving quickly, he grabbed the bloodied Templar and threw him into the wall. This one made a grunt as his head cracked against the stone. Cullen vaguely noticed the rise and fall of the Templar's chest that said he would live.

The one half naked on the ground by Rayne heard the commotion behind him and barely turned as Cullen grabbed him.

Cullen brought Lobek to his feet and pushed him against the wall. The Templar's face was stark white with fear. "You get off on taking what you want?" Cullen growled. "Let's see how much you enjoy this then."

He swung his fist and with a growl it connected with the Lobek's face. He felt bone give under the force of the punch and warm blood sprayed out of the Templar's nose. Cullen did not stop however. He struck again and again.

"Cullen!" A cry called out his name.

He abruptly halted his next punch as the voice cut through the hot anger in him. With great effort he turned his head.

Rayne had managed to finally bring her hands in front of her to remove the gag in her mouth. She sat up curling her legs up as much as possible to conceal herself. Her eyes were pleading. "Cullen, stop." She said softly. She knew yelling at him to stop would gain nothing. "He's done."

The fist he had been throwing began to shake as he looked at her face. It was bruised and cut and pleading.

He turned back to his victim and was startled by what he saw. The man's face was a bloody mess, multiple bones no doubt broken. He was barely recognizable as human. Cullen released his hold on the man and he crumpled to the ground.

Cullen's anger began to recede. He was even more shocked at the amount that had engulfed him. And he realized it wasn't just anger at this group. He hadn't been fighting these Templars just now. He had been beating the mages that had attacked Rayne years ago.

When he first saw them his mind was immediately thrown back to his first year at the Circle. He had been remembering coming across the two boys that had been trying to kill a bloodied Rayne as she barely held up a shield to protect herself from their magical assault. Blood pooled around her from more than the wounds on her body. Blood that was mostly around her thighs.

He hadn't been able to save her back then. Those boys had taken from her something no one had any right to.

He stumbled backwards away from the man he had beaten to a bloody pulp.

He looked over to Rayne.

She hadn't moved from her spot. He saw the slight tremor coursing through her body.

Before he could go to her he heard noise from outside the alcove.

"Commander!" Someone called.

Rayne's head snapped up and the terror entered her eyes again. She scrambled back away from the opening. Plunging herself deeper into the shadows.

**She doesn't want anyone seeing her like this**. He realized.

Realizing that, he grabbed Lobek. With a grunt he dragged the man across the ground and exited the alcove.

He was met with five guards with swords drawn, taking in the scene around them and all their eyes widening as he threw his victim on the ground in front of him.

He pointed to the three Templars. "Take these… _men_ ," He spat. "To Ambassador Montilyet's quarters. Tell her that I want them kept there until I get there and I will explain everything then." He sneered down at the bloodied Templar. "Get this one a healer. And wake Sister Nightingale and have her meet me there as well."

No one moved right away, still too in shock with what they were seeing.

"Now!" Cullen barked.

They all jumped and went about to gather the other two men that were able to still walk. Two guards were required to pick up Lobek. One guard lagged behind and peered into the alcove.

"Sir, do you need…"

Cullen shook his head. "Go with the others. There is nothing more for you do to here."

The guard hesitated just a heartbeat before nodding and turning to follow the others.

Cullen watched them all go and made sure they would not return before turning back to the alcove. His eyes tried to penetrate the darkness, but from where he was he couldn't. He went deeper into the shadows, led by the sounds of whimpering.

Rayne was as far as she could get, curled up close against the wall. Her body shook uncontrollably.

Cullen's heart fell at the sight. He hadn't seen Rayne in such a state since…

He moved silently closer, taking great care not to touch her. He went to her side and slid down the wall until he was sitting next to her.

His eyes had finally adjusted to the darkness and he could make out her features. Already the bruises and scrapes on her face were healing. He was silently grateful for that at least. She had managed to finally pull her hands from the belt that had been used to bind her.

He was at a loss of what to do for her now. She sat silently shaking. He could hear quiet whimpers, attempts at holding back her pain.

Cullen hesitantly brought a hand to her shoulder, in the hopes that it may help. When she didn't shirk away from him, his arm went around her and pulled her to him.

Rayne fell onto him and buried her face in his chest. Her fingers dug into his shirt as great wracking sobs finally came.

He wrapped his arms around her and gently brought her closer and practically into his lap. Taking extra care not to touch any sensitive part of her body. He held her tight and close; nestling his face in her hair that was still wet in the back. He didn't think much on that. All that mattered was Rayne and the pain she was in. He was trying to send as much of his strength into her as he could.

He wasn't sure how long they sat there. But finally she stopped shaking but she continued to hold onto him with a desperation that said if she let go she would be lost.

"Rayne." He said softly. "We need to get you cleaned up and you should rest."

She didn't answer at first. Finally after what seemed like an eternity she spoke. "I can't." She croaked. "I can't…"

He wondered at first if those Templars had caused damage that she couldn't walk. But the more he thought on it, the truth became clear. She couldn't go back into the main hall. She couldn't allow anyone to see her like she was.

"Don't worry." He said and began to rise with her in his arms. "You don't have to. I'll take you to my quarters. It's closer."

Rayne's legs shook and he began to worry that she wouldn't be able to hold herself up, so he kept a firm hold on her. He now wished he had brought his coat, it was big enough that it could have covered her.

With a frown he made a decision. He figured if she didn't want him to, she would have no qualms letting him know. He wrapped one arm under hers and another behind her knees and lifted her into his arms. She didn't fight him; in fact she buried herself closer to his chest.

After positioning his arms to cover her as best as possible he rushed in the shadows back up the ramparts. In that moment he was glad that most the torches were still out.

A few moments later he pushed open his door. The light in the room was initially blinding and he felt Rayne cringe in his arms with the sudden burst of light.

He leaned against the door shutting it tight behind him. He grabbed his coat on the same rack that held his sword belt and went to his desk. As gently as he could, he lowered Rayne down into the chair.

Initially she wouldn't let go of him.

"Rayne, please." He said softly.

She took a shaky deep breath and reluctantly released her hold.

Cullen diverted his gaze from her as he laid his coat over her. After a few moments of listening to rustling fabric he turned to her.

She had sufficiently covered herself and buried half her face into the fur of his coat.

His heart sank at the dried tears on her cheeks and the empty look in her eyes as she stared down at the floor. He knelt in front of her trying to get her eyes to come to him.

"Rayne." He said softly and reached a hand out to her face.

She flinched as his hand touched her cheek. He immediately pulled his hand away. But he had gotten her to finally look at him. But with the vacant look in her eyes, he wondered if she truly saw him.

"There is a pitcher of water and a towel." He pointed to the corner. "Please, use it. I'll be back soon."

Panic came into her eyes. "Please, don't leave." She pleaded.

Seeing her in such a state… it crushed him. He almost stayed. But no, not yet. "I can't. I need to go…" He paused. "Deal with the problem. But I  _will_  be back. I swear it."

Rayne's eyes searched his. Finally she nodded and turned her gaze back away.

He stayed there a heartbeat and then rose. With one final look at her, he left to deal with the Templars.

* * *

A fury like nothing Cullen had ever seen before erupted in Leliana's eyes.

"You… you… animals!" She yelled as she stalked to Lobek who was being administered by a mage.

Cullen barely had enough time to grab her as she drew one of her hidden daggers and pushed the healer out of the way.

"No Leliana!" He yelled as he wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her away from a cringing Lobek. "He's not worth it."

"Let me go, Commander!" Leliana squirmed in his iron grip. "He  _deserves_ it!"

Grunting he spun her around and pinned her to a wall. "He's not worth it." He growled. The throbbing pain in his hand was starting to get worse.

Her blue eyes were bright with anger. "How can you say that?" She snapped. " _You!_  Of all people!"

"That's precisely why I can." He hissed. He pointed behind him at the Templar as the mage went back to his work. "I already did  _that_ , and it's not something Rayne wanted. Do you honestly think she would want you to kill him?"

Leliana gritted her teeth.

"Well?" He snapped.

The Spymaster took a deep shaking breath.

He watched as the tension left her body and the grip on her dagger loosened. He took a step back. "No matter our personal feelings on the matter, Rayne wouldn't want that."

Leliana nodded.

"The question is:" Josephine said gaining his attention. "What  _do_  we do with them?"

Unlike Leliana and Cullen, Josephine had been roused from bed when he had sent the Templars here. She was in a shift being covered with a heavy robe to cover her. Her usually bound hair was loose and hanging down to her shoulders.

"The Commander and I cannot be the ones left to their judgment." Leliana said going around Cullen. He noticed she had slipped her dagger back in its hidden place. "We're too biased."

"Agreed." He winced as he rubbed his hand. There was as much his blood as there was Lobeks.

Josephine noticed. "Healer, tend to the Commander's wounds."

The mage nodded and stood.

Lobek gaped. "But I'm in far worse condition…" It was the first time he had spoken.

Josephine glared at him. "Pain is the least you deserve for what you did tonight. You're lucky you got as much healing as you did. You're done."

Lobek didn't argue. He knew he would find no allies here. His friends were already down in the cells below Skyhold waiting. The only reason he wasn't yet was because he needed healing to stop the bleeding at least or else he risked dying from choking on his own blood.

Josephine sneered. "Well, I'm not in the best position to judge him either."

Cullen thought for a moment as the healer gently took his hand and inspected it. "Then perhaps we should leave him to the Inquisitor?" He offered.

Leliana tilted her head. "Hmm. Seems fair. The crime took place here under his domain." She finally nodded. "I agree."

"Very well." Josephine said. She went to the door to her study and opened it; two guards stood outside awaiting orders. "Take this man to the cells to await the Inquisitor's judgment."

The guards were quick to grab Lobek and began ushering him out.

Cullen gritted his teeth as he felt the familiar itch of his skin stitching back together on his hand and at least one knuckle moving back into place. But he managed to speak before the guards were gone. "Put all of them in a Sky Cell."

Josephine's eyes brightened at the idea.

Those cells got their name from the fact that they were cells that could not be repaired, and so had the outer wall missing. The criminal inside could try to escape if they wanted. They just would have to survive the death drop to the ground that was over 100 yards below.

They nodded in understanding and left.

Cullen vehemently hoped that they would accidently roll out of the cell in their sleep. But something told him that they wouldn't be doing a lot of sleeping.

Once they were gone Josephine closed the door and sighed. "How could this happen?" She mumbled.

"It happens all the time in the world, Josie." Leliana said.

"I know, but to happen  _here?"_

"Finished." The healer finally said.

Cullen flexed his hand and nodded. "Thank you. You may return to your room for the night."

The mage nodded and gathered a bag he had brought and silently left.

Josephine handed him a wet towel to clean off the blood on his hand. "We are lucky you were there, Cullen."

He shrugged as he wiped away the blood.

"You have some on your face." Leliana pointed out.

He frowned until he remembered the blood on Rayne's head that he had pressed his face against. He quickly wiped it away.

"Where is she now?" Josephine asked.

"In my quarters hopefully getting cleaned up." He sighed and tossed the bloodied cloth in a barrel near him.

"And… how is she?" Leliana asked.

"As well as one can be." He said in a defeated voice.


	31. Cullen

He had rushed back to his quarters after he was finished in Josephine's study. The decision on what to do with the Templars hadn't taken long. But he felt he was gone longer from Rayne than he should have been.

He entered his room and looked around.

It was empty.

He noted a basin that was full of bloodied water and a damp towel next to it. So that told him that Rayne had at least cleaned up. But his heart sunk that she was not there.

And then a creak from above his head reached his ears.

He immediately went to the ladder that led up to his sleeping quarters and climbed.

The moon that shone down through the hole in the ceiling was barely enough to make out Rayne's form on his bed curled up under his coat. Her black hair was slicked back away from her face.

He released a pent up breath and pulled himself up into the room. As quietly as he could, he walked to the side of the bed she wasn't laying on. He sat down taking in her features.

Her face was clean of the cuts and bruises; it was also clean of any traces of the tears she had shed. Her hair was wet, but he knew that was from cleaning it and not from the blood like before. Her bare shoulders told him she had changed out of her ruined dress.

He watched the rise and fall of her chest a few moments before rising from the bed.

"Don't go."

He slightly jumped at the quiet plea and looked down.

Rayne looked up at him. Her blue eyes still hollow. "I don't want to be alone." She said quietly. "I can't."

His face softened. "All right." He sat back down and slipped off his boots. All the while feeling Rayne's gaze on his back.

When he was done he lay back against the pillows, keeping him slightly propped up on his back. When he finally got comfortable, trying hard not to intrude on Rayne's space, she did something unexpected.

She immediately moved closer to him, taking care to keep his coat around her shoulders and laid her head on his chest.

Cullen didn't move, simply surprised that she wanted any kind of contact. He had remembered the last time something like this happened. She had barely wanted to look at anyone, let alone let them near her.

"Promise you won't leave." She said softly into his chest.

His body relaxed and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, his hand on a bare shoulder that he gently rubbed. "I won't. I'll always be here, Rayne. I swear it."

Rayne's body relaxed slightly as she nuzzled her face into his shirt and took a deep breath.

It was an hour before he felt and heard the steady and calm rhythm of her breathing that indicated she was finally fast asleep.

Cullen spent that entire time just gazing at her and running his fingers through her drying hair. His eyes began to droop as fatigue began to claim him.

* * *

He awoke to the blinding light of the sun. He cursed and turned his face away from his roof. He really needed to have that repaired.

He slowly stretched his body. Despite the night's unpleasantness, he was remarkably refreshed. And he finally realized why: it was the first time since the Blight that he had a full night's sleep. He had no nightmares plague him.

And there was only one thing that came to mind that could have been the reason behind that. Thinking about her, he finally opened his eyes and looked to the other side of his bed. He blinked rapidly and sat up with a frown.

He looked down and found it empty.

He began to wonder if the night's events hadn't been some dream. But no. The red on his knuckles from a healer healing him and his coat lying beside him, told him that last night had definitely happened. At some point, Rayne had left.

He looked around and found the ruined dress in a corner near his clothing chest. He frowned as he looked at the stacks of shirts sitting on top. Something seemed off.

He climbed out of bed and went to the shirts. Counting he realized he was missing one.

 **Rayne.** He thought to himself.

Of course. She didn't have anything to cover herself with. Her dress was no longer an option. No doubt by the time she left she would have run into people back to her own quarters. He could only imagine what they thought seeing her coming from his room in one of his shirts. Granted, the rumors about that possible scandal were probably more appealing than the truth.

"Commander?" A male voice called from down below.

Cullen went to the ladder and looked down to find one of Leliana's scouts below. "What is it?"

"The Inquisitor has returned and requests your presence in the cells, Sir."

 **Right**. He had nearly forgotten. "I'll be there after I dress."

The scout nodded and rushed to deliver the message.

Cullen was equally as quick to get dressed, putting on all his armor and weapons and quickly made his way to the cells.

Noise rang out across Skyhold of those training, merchants peddling their wares and people just running all over the place. He was relieved to see that no one seemed to know what transpired the night before.

He entered the cells and walked down below into the bowels of Skyhold. He found Alec standing alone in the middle of the room. Not even the jailor was there.

Alec turned to him and gave him a sad smile. "Good morning, Commander. I hope I didn't wake you. Especially after the night you had."

Alec looked tired and he wondered if the Inquisitor had any chance to rest since his return.

Cullen shook his head and frowned. "My night was nothing compared to Rayne's." He said with venom in his voice.

The mage nodded and sighed. "I already spoke with Rayne about what transpired." He gave Cullen a sidelong look. "She just wishes for this to be forgotten."

Cullen gritted his teeth. "You're not seriously considering—"

Alec raised a hand to stop the tirade he no doubt saw coming. "I am going to respect Rayne's wishes. No matter my personal feelings on the matter. Trust me, Commander, I didn't like it either. But she is the wounded party."

Cullen felt his anger rear its ugly head again. Feeling that, he took a deep breath. There was no point in lashing out at the Inquisitor. Alec was simply trying to respect Rayne and her choice.

When he didn't say anything, Alec cleared his throat. "Seeing as I won't be passing judgment, I spent the time waiting for you thinking about our expedition into Emprise Du Lion."

Cullen narrowed his eyes. Was the Inquisitor seriously trying to change the subject? "What about it?" He said, trying to keep composed.

"I got to thinking about the initial team being sent there. Emprise may need a few more men on the team. It is, after all, a very hazardous place. At least, so I've heard." Alec raised an eyebrow.

A slow sharp smirk came to Cullen's face. "Yes, I believe you're right, Inquisitor. I'll speak with Josephine about making the necessary arrangements, since she is the lead for Emprise."

Alec nodded. "Good." He began heading towards the entrance.

"Inquisitor." Cullen called and turned to him.

Alec turned and tilted his head.

"Thank you." He said genuinely.

Alec smirked. "No need to thank me, Commander. It was purely selfish."

* * *

Cullen made his way up the spiraling stairs up to Rayne's quarters.

He hadn't seen the mage all day and was starting to wonder if she was all right. At first, he had initially thought she may have been trying to avoid him due to whatever misguided shame she may have been feeling. But according to others, Rayne hadn't been seen by anybody since this morning when she spoken to the Inquisitor.

Even Aiden hadn't seen her since. He was growing worried. It seemed she had not told her son what transpired the night before.

The door to her study was open, so he entered.

She had done a lot to fix up the front room. Unlike him, she had actively been fixing it up since finding it.

Book cases already lined the walls that were slowly being filled with not only books, but knick-knacks, candles, incense, and small chests filled with varying items. In the center of the room was a long wooden table that had a map of Ferelden and Orlais that she was constantly looking over and marking with strange symbols. And on the right side of the room was a dark oak desk with scattered papers, quills and ink.

Behind the long table was a door that looked heavy to Cullen, but he honestly didn't know.

Rayne had made it painstakingly clear no one was allowed to enter there. At least at present until she was finished with refurbishing it into her perfect bedroom. He only knew that the bedroom had a balcony that looked over the valley surrounding Skyhold.

He expected to find her working over the map on the table like she usually was. But instead he found a messenger placing a stack of bound missives on her desk.

"Where is she?" Cullen asked.

The woman turned to him and shrugged. "I'm sorry, Commander. I don't know. She only left notice that anything needing her attention to be placed on her desk today. No one has seen her since."

He frowned and turned back out of the tower. He growled in frustration as he walked down the stairs. Could she have possibly left Skyhold? No, she wouldn't do that without letting Alec know. No matter how she was feeling, she wasn't irresponsible.

 **She would want to be alone.** He thought to himself. **But where would she go for that in a place like Skyhold?**

He exited the main hall and looked around trying to figure it out.

And finally he chuckled as the answer was looking him right in the face.

He headed to the main watchtower.

Inside was a mess and almost looked like it was about to collapse. Constructors were waiting on more resources in order to start building it into a mage tower per the Inquisitors instruction. Nothing like Circle towers, but a place where mages could freely store books, hold meetings, conduct experiments safely and the like.

Cullen slowly climbed the rickety stairs finally coming to the third story and a ladder that led to the roof that was closed off by a door. He tested the ladder first to make sure it could take his weight before finally climbing up and gently pushing the door open. It gave little resistance which told him that it was frequently used.

He poked his head through the opening and found what he was looking for.

"I was starting to wonder when you were going to come look for me." Rayne said as she lay on her back staring into the blue sky. "Surprising it didn't happen sooner."

 **Trust me, I wanted to.**  He thought to himself. He shrugged and climbed through the hole and shut the door. "Figured you were a big girl."

She didn't look at him, but he saw a smirk come to her face. "You're terrible at that."

"At what?"

"Trying to be sly."

"Hey." He said trying to sound put out by the comment.

"It's a compliment. One of your many endearing qualities."

He went closer to her and sat on the stone roof. "You find me endearing?"

"Amongst other things." She finally turned towards him. "Can I assume you're here to check up on me? Or chastise me for my choice in convincing the Inquisitor to not pass judgment?"

He was glad to see the hollowness from her eyes was gone. But he couldn't help but notice that a shadow seemed to be in them. "Don't know what you're talking about. I came looking for my shirt."

She smiled softly and shook her head and turned her attention back to the sky. "You're also a terrible liar."

"Yeah." He said picking at the stone under him.

"Another endearing quality. I'm around liars too much. Having an honest face around is nice." She sighed and sat up. "And thank you."

He gave her a side long look. "For?"

"Not bringing… bringing up last night."

"I figured it was bad manners to talk about you finally sharing my bed." He said with a smirk.

She turned to him and smiled. "There it is."

He frowned. "There what is?"

"Why I like you so much. You want so much to make sure I'm okay. Instead of coming right out and asking, you are trying so hard not to bring it up. You're considerate of the fact that I may not want to talk about it."

He flushed and shrugged. "Why did you come here?"

She looked up at the sky. "Just to think." She sighed heavily. "All it managed to do is remind me of how alone I am."

He frowned. "Alone?"

She didn't answer straight away. When she finally did, her voice was quiet. "I haven't told anyone what transpired last night. Including Aiden. And I want it kept that way. I will have to travel this darkness alone."

Cullen shook his head and took her hand.

Rayne turned to him, a great sadness in her eyes.

"You're not alone, Rayne." He said softly. "I meant what I said last night." He squeezed her hand gently. "I will  _always_ be here."

Tears came to her eyes and she looked away.

After a few moments, she chuckled. "We do always manage to find each other again, don't we?"

He smiled softly. "We do."

Rayne turned back to him and smiled before turning her gaze back to the sky. "You saved me again."

His smile fell. "I never saved you a first time." He thought bitterly.

She turned back to him and tilted her head. "That's not true."

He diverted his gaze. "I wasn't able to stop them… I came too late."

He felt a gentle hand under his chin. He let her hand turn his face back to her.

She rubbed a thumb over his cheek that no doubt a good bit of stubble from not shaving this morning. "You have no idea how much you saved me. You kept me from the edge of the precipice. I wanted nothing more to jump. You kept me from doing that." She smiled gently. "Just like last night. I was hanging over the edge and you pulled me back."

He brought his hand up to the one she had on his face. "I always will. Just as you do for me every single day."

She looked at him in confusion.

He shook his head and sighed. He looked up to the sky allowing himself to be lost in the blue and white.

"It's a shame." She said, cutting into his thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"You wearing that armor."

He looked back at her. "What are you on about?"

She grinned at him. "I rather liked your… relaxed attire much better. It makes you more approachable." She smirked. "Besides, your armor hides too much."


	32. Amell

_"_ _Mamae."_

Rayne turned as she and Cullen came down the stair case from the battlements.

Aiden looked up at her, worry shining in his eyes.

She gave him a smile. "I'm fine."

He gave her a long look before finally nodding. "Warden Stroud has been asking for you."

"Been a right pain in the ass about it." A deep voice said.

She turned to find Iron Bull sharping his axe.

"Hey Kid, throw another." He said.

Rayne frowned. "Throw another what…"

Before she could finish that statement a knife had been caught in his hand.

Her eyes widened as she spun around. "Aiden Scott!"

"What?" He asked innocently.

"Kid's helping me, Rayne." Bull said dropping the throwing knife on the ground, that's when she noticed three others. "Have to have some way of keeping on my toes."

Cullen sighed. "If you need some… exercise you could come to the training ring."

Rayne suppressed the smile that wanted to come to her face.

Bull snorted. "And who here would even want to go up against me? Better yet, who would prove a challenge?"

Cullen shrugged. "I would."

Both Bull and Rayne raised an eyebrow.

"You?" Rayne asked.

Cullen frowned.

She flushed. "That's not what I…" She cleared her throat. "I wasn't insinuating you're not capable of going against him. You obviously keep in shape."

He raised an eyebrow.

She sighed realizing she was making it worse. "What I meant was, I've never seen you actually taking part in the training. Like that I mean."

He shrugged. "I could use with a work out." He turned to Bull. "How about it Bull?"

Bull sized Cullen up with his one eye. "Sure, why not? Let's see what our Commander is capable of."

Cullen chuckled. "Tomorrow then. I have some reports to go over today from the Inquisitor." He turned to Rayne and nodded. "If you need anything…"

She nodded. "Thank you."

He gave her one last warm smile before heading to his tower.

 _"_ _Mamae,_ are you really okay?" Aiden asked.

She smiled at him and mussed his hair. "I'm fine. Really. Now then," She sighed not looking forward to what she was about to do. "Where is Stroud?"

* * *

"So, you're not dead." He said as he leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.

They were standing on the balcony outside the rookery. The wind snapped the dress she was wearing around her legs and she had to continuously make sure the wind didn't raise the bottom. Yet another reason to hate dresses.

Stroud was a Senior Grey Warden in his late forties if Rayne had to guess. But he still had the stamina of a young man, even though he had been a Warden for decades. His cropped black hair was just beginning to show signs of gray, but his blue eyes were as vibrant and vigilant as ever. His face was covered in black stubble and he had a big bushy mustache. Rayne was beginning to think that it was a prerequisite for all senior Grey Warden men to sport some kind of bushy facial hair; thinking of Duncan, Stroud and now Blackwall.

She had briefly met Stroud at Kirkwall while the Qunari had attacked. He had been in the city with her cousin Carver – who had become a Warden about three years before – on official Warden business. But she didn't know the man all that well, except that he seemed a decent sort.

"So it would seem." She said as response.

"Imagine my surprise when the Inquisitor and Hawke told me you were here." He raised an eyebrow. "Aiding the Inquisition."

She shrugged. "Corypheus is a darkspawn. He even claims to be one of the original magisters. Isn't it the Warden's jobs to handle darkspawn activity?"

"It is. But you didn't know before the destruction of Haven about Corypheus."

"How do you know?" She asked in dramatically mysterious tone.

Stroud smirked and shook his head. "It makes no matter now. I'm glad that a few Wardens walk with the Inquisition, no matter how our superiors feel about it in Weisshaupt."

"Any news from that end of the world?"

He shrugged. "Nothing new since the disappearance of the Wardens in Orlais and Ferelden. I sent them word of what Warden-Commander Clarel was intending, but since then, nothing. They are no doubt waiting for more information."

"What  _is_  Clarel doing?" Rayne asked. "I haven't had a chance to be briefed on what you told Alec."

He sighed and pushed off the wall. "It's not good." He paused and gave her a hard look. "First, I need to know. Have you been hearing it?"

She frowned in confusion. "Hearing what?"

"The Calling."

Her eyebrows rose. She thought to the incessant whispers she had heard since killing the archdemon. Over the years she had managed to push it to the back of her mind and it no longer bothered her. She ignored it.

But then a year ago…

"The… whispers have become louder. If that's what you mean." No one, not Stroud, Alistair or  _anyone_  knew about the whispers that had plagued her since the Blight. And she wanted it kept that way. "You're saying it's The Calling? Wait, how do you…"

"Because every Warden in Orlais is hearing it." His voice was hard as he said it.

Rayne's eyes widened. "How is that possible?"

He shook his head. "I don't know for certain. But I have theories. I believe Corypheus is the cause."

She shook her head and began to pace as best she could on the narrow balcony as she rubbed the back of her neck.

"And as you said, Corypheus claims to be one of the original magisters who began the Blights…"

She stopped pacing and sighed. "Which means he's not a product of the Blight like other darkspawn. He may actually have control over it."

Stroud nodded. "Like I said. A theory." He frowned. "When Hawke had told us about Corypheus I began investigating. Why would the Wardens lock such a creature away instead of killing him? Was it perhaps because they couldn't? Could he possibly have the same kind of ability as an archdemon?"

Rayne raised an eyebrow. "Even if he did… does, Wardens can still kill  _them._ "

"I know. But what other reasons could the Wardens of old have to keep him alive in a magical prison?" He paced back and forth keeping his eyes on her. "So, I investigated. Following the few bread crumbs I could. Not long after every Warden in Orlais began to hear The Calling."

She shook her head. "They think their dying." She whispered. "If the Wardens fall… It is our greatest fear."

He nodded.

"This Calling though, it's not real."

"And how do you know?"

When the whispers had gotten louder, Rayne had thought them just products of stress at the time. It was, after all, a very stressful time for her. She had easily pushed them back and there they had stayed. "I fought against the last archdemon, I had that thing practically screaming in my head when I went against it. When my Calling does finally come, I know what it will sound like. This Calling now? It doesn't feel or sound right."

"So, if it is Corypheus… he's merely mimicking The Calling."

Rayne tilted her head. "Are you hearing The Calling?"

Stroud sighed heavily. "Sadly, yes. It lurks like a wolf in the shadows around a campfire. At times, I almost understand it."

 **That… doesn't sound good.** Rayne knew Stroud was coming to the end of his years as a Warden.

"We must uncover what Corypheus has done and end it. This cannot stand." He said hotly.

She frowned. "So the Wardens are making some last, desperate attack on the darkspawn?" She guessed.

Stroud's face fell. "Warden-Commander Clarel spoke of a blood magic ritual to prevent future Blights before we all perished. When I protested the plan as madness, my own comrades turned on me."

Rayne sighed and shook her head. "And that's why you're in hiding from them."

Truth be told, she commended Clarel for taking the offensive. How was the Warden-Commander supposed to know that The Calling they were all hearing a false one? But despite Rayne's approval of that plan, the execution of it was… faulty to say the least. Even if she herself was a blood mage, she knew the dangers that it could pose to the untrained. And she worried as to what just exactly was going to be required of this ritual. The blood had to come from somewhere.

"Do you have any leads as to what or where the Wardens may be?" She asked. "What about the Ferelden Wardens?"

"The Wardens are gathering in the Western Approach, as to where specifically? I have a few leads that I will investigate. I will be traveling with Inquisition forward scouts to the Approach and continue investigating. When I have their location pinned down I will send word to the Inquisitor to come. I do not know what I will encounter, so I don't want to go alone.

"As to the Ferelden Wardens…" He shrugged. "I honestly don't know if they are among the Orlesian ones. I only know that Warden Howe is at Weisshaupt still working with your… ally."

"The Architect." She said flatly. "That's his name. You'd think after a decade the rest of you would have come to terms with him."

Stroud frowned. "It is a darkspawn. We will  _never_  come to terms with it."

"Has anything bad come of the allegiance I formed?" She asked hotly. "Has he reneged on our agreement? No? In fact darkspawn have been showing up less and less in number. Even in the Deep Roads. So much so that the dwarves have been able to reclaim some old thaigs."

"And  _where_  exactly is he taking them? Has he even told you?"

She shrugged. "No. But I haven't necessarily asked either. His goals are the same as ours, Stroud."

"But for how long?"

She sighed. It was an old argument that neither side was going to relent on. "It's done. No point in rehashing this."

Stroud reluctantly nodded.

"How long do you think it will take? To find the Wardens, I mean."

He shrugged. "It will take at least two weeks to reach the Approach. From there, who knows?"

She nodded. "Do you need anything from me?"

"No. Stay here. Gather information if you can. Hawke will be joining me." He frowned.

"What is it?"

"How much have you told the Inquisitor about us? When we met… he knew of The Calling. What it was."

"I didn't tell him everything if that's what you're worried about. I saw no harm in telling him about The Calling. It's pretty common knowledge that Wardens go to the Deep Roads to die at some point in their lives. I just told him why. He was investigating the Wardens disappearance and wondered if it was connected to the Divine's death.

"But the Joining, the archdemon, what… truly happens to a Warden to begin The Calling – I kept all that to myself. Despite popular belief, I'm not a complete idiot."

He gave her a rueful smile. "I never thought you were one. You made some questionable choices. But given how you were thrown into the Wardens and forced into leadership, I don't blame you."

"How generous of you." She said dryly.


	33. Amell

She sighed as she exited into the garden, blinking as the sun glared down on her and reflected from the melting snow.

Rayne now remembered why she avoided most Wardens. The constant condemnation of her choices and having to hold her temper in check. It would do her no good to lose her temper, not when the First Warden could have her sent to Weisshaupt. As much as she was a part from the Wardens, she was still one of them and still took her orders and followed them.

"Varric was right. You look good in a dress, Coz." A familiar voice drawled behind her.

She smiled and rolled her eyes as she turned. "I think it's an Amell trait. Why don't we put you in one and see? I'm sure I have one in your size. If not I can make the necessary adjustments."

Vector grinned as he lazily leaned against a pillar. "I think you have a bigger chest than I do."

She eyed him closely.  **Oh, if only he wasn't a cousin.** She thought wistfully. "Mmm, maybe in volume, but you still have me beat in width. It's good to see you again, Coz."

His grin widened and he jumped down from his perch and landed softly in the grass. His long strides ate the gap between them and he grabbed her waist and swooped her into the air. He spun in a circle for a few moments.

Rayne laughed and playfully smacked his chest. "Put me down you fool. You're making a scene."

He gently placed her back on the ground but kept his hands around her waist. "Ah, since when do you care?"

She rolled her eyes. "Since a certain Antivan Ambassador has been riding me to act like a lady."

"Mmm, Antivan and being ridden. Sounds like a good time." He teased.

She snorted. "I've been down that road once. One Antivan is enough for me."

Vector laughed loudly and hugged her tight. "Maker." He breathed into her hair. "I've missed you, Rayne."

She returned his hug just as earnestly. "And I have missed you, Vector."

He released his hold after a few moments and stepped back. His bright smiled dimmed. "When I had heard from the grape vine that the Hero of Ferelden was with the Inquisition I didn't believe it. I was even angry at first that someone would stoop to that level of impersonating you. It wasn't until one of the letters from Varric said it was really you did I believe." He shook his head. "When he asked me to come here, I was looking forward to seeing you… and then to be told that you had fallen at Haven? I thought: The Maker sure does have a sick sense of humor."

She smirked. "Well, considering the state of the world currently and the Blights, I would still say the Maker has a sick sense of humor."

He chuckled. "You  _would_  say that."

"How have you been Vector?"

He shrugged. "Oh, you know. Hiding from Seekers and Templars while cleaning up messes. Same old thing." He motioned behind her. "Come on, we have a lot of catching up to do."

He went around her and led her back into the main hall and headed for the exit.

"Where are we going?" She asked as she followed.

"You know me, can't have a conversation until I have a pint in my hand." He joked.

She rolled her eyes but continued to follow him to the Tavern.

When they reached the entrance she hesitated.

Vector turned and tilted his head. "Everything okay?

She gave him a shaky smile. "Sure." She stepped in the door.

It was early in the day still so the tavern was relatively empty.

Bull sat in his usual corner surrounded by a few of his Chargers. She could hear Sera upstairs shooting arrows into something. No doubt her door.

Bull raised his cup when he saw her enter. "Welcome back!" He bellowed.

She waved him off and went to a far corner table with Vector.

He sat down and shook his head. "He's definitely different from any Qunari I have ever met."

She chuckled. "Anytime you've had contact with one they were either glowering down at you with a murderous look… or just murdering."

He laughed. "Fair enough." He paused as the barmaid came over and set a drink in front of him. "Want anything?"

She shook her head.

"He must seem pretty normal for you though." He continued as he took a drink.

She raised an eyebrow. "Bull has become normal, yes. But as compared to my past encounters? You're under the illusion that Sten was like him." She chuckled. "In fact he was as stoic as the Qunari in Kirkwall."

"He must have been a delight to travel with."

She smiled warmly at the memories. "He had his moments." She tilted her head. "I have to admit when I found out Varric knew where you were the entire time I've been with the Inquisition, I was a bit hurt he didn't tell me."

Vector gave her a lopsided smile. "Turn about is fair play, Coz."

She rolled her eyes. "All right. Fair enough." Her smile faltered. "Are you angry with me too then?"

He studied her a few moments and then shrugged. "No. I get it. Hell, I was no better. I went into hiding too while investigating this red lyirum business. I just wish I had known you were at least alive." He paused and twirled around his mug. "It was… rough what happened. Besides Carver, you were my only family. And to know someone that I considered a close friend had killed you." He shook his head and took another drink.

"What did happen to Anders after?"

"No one ever told you?"

She shrugged. "I didn't care much to ask. I had other things occupying my mind… in more ways than one in that first year."

Vector's eyes darkened. "Yeah, Varric told me about that." He took another drink and motioned to the barmaid for a refill. "You should give me the name of this establishment, sounds like a place I want to visit someday."

The edge of Rayne's lips twitch containing the smirk. "I think Zevran beat you to that. At least, that's what I gathered from the last time I heard from him."

"Good." He let the barmaid refill his mug.

She scrunched her nose. "How can you stand drinking that dwarven swill?"

"Hey, don't knock it. As to Anders… well, after he blew up the Chantry things got heated, to say the least, with Orsino and Meredith there. Meredith blamed all the mages, Orsino tried defending himself and his fellow mages. It was a mess.

"Fighting broke out. I chose to side with Orsino." He frowned. "No doubt you heard  _that._ "

She nodded.

"In the end I was left to decide Anders' fate. But… Aiden and Alistair were both there. They had just arrived at the Chantry looking for you when it was destroyed. I felt, if anyone should decide his fate, it should have been Alistair."

Her eyebrows rose. "You left that to  _him?"_

He nodded. "I thought he was going to kill him. In the end, he surprised us all. He let Anders go. To live with the guilt of killing you, a fact that was torturing Anders – we all saw that on his face when he learned you were inside. Alistair thought it was a more fitting punishment."

Rayne's thoughts turned inward to an old memory:

 **_"_ ** **_Why didn't you just kill him?" He asked with a frown. "He deserves it!"_ **

**_She looked at Alistair coolly. "Because death is final. This way he has to live with the consequences of his actions. He has to bear that guilt for the rest of his life. Death would have been a mercy. And_ ** **that** **_is something he didn't deserve."_ **

**Seems I taught him another lesson back then…**  She thought with a sad note.

"After I had to leave Kirkwall, he went into hiding. Haven't heard about him since. And honestly don't care anymore." Vector finished unaware of her thoughts.

She shook her head. "So, other than being in hiding, how are things? Still with Isabela?"

Vector smiled warmly. "Of course. The day that I'm not you can probably guess I'll be in a ditch with a dagger in my side somewhere." He leaned back in his chair. "Isabela and I never believed in being tied down, as you know."

"Boy, do I." She said lightly.

He smirked. "When I had to go into hiding, she understood. We'll see each other again. Until then, she'll be having fun." He winced. "But hopefully not too much fun."

She chuckled. "Well, I'm glad you two still have each other and can still find happiness."

Vector tilted his head. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Anyone special in your life?"

"You know the answer to that." She said dryly.

He sighed and leaned forward. "Y'know, it isn't a bad thing to be with someone."

"And when has it ever worked out for me?"

He shrugged. "Look at what you got out of the relationship with Alistair." He paused. "I'm the last person that will hound you to find someone, Rayne. You know that. But you deserve to be happy. After everything you've done and been through…"

"Who's to say I'm not happy?"

He gave her a knowing smile. "You may put on a good front. But deep down, you miss the companionship. I saw that when you were with Fenris. I saw the difference between how you were when you were with him. In the type of relationship you were with him, and the way you were when you went back to Alistair – however briefly that was thanks to Anders. You had barrier around yourself with Fenris. With Alistair… they disappeared. And there was a light in you that I hadn't seen before."

Rayne turned her face away and stared into the dark corner. "I'm no good to anyone, Vector. All I seem to do is cause pain."

"Because you don't give them a chance. A real chance."

She turned back to him. "I'm also tired of being hurt. Whether by their doing or some outside force." She shook her head. "No Cousin, I will choose to walk alone and only take my pleasures when needed."


	34. Cullen

His muscles in his arms, back and legs strained against the force he held in check.

He and Bull were both bare chested and footed. Their hands were locked in the others.

Cullen gritted his teeth as Bull pushed against him just to have him push back. Sweat glistened on his arms and into his eyes. But he continued to hold his ground against the Qunari.

Bull was in like-wise shape. His sweat made his grey skin shine, making the scars on his chest stand out in sharper relief. His muscles bound up in his arms and shoulders as he breathed roughly through his nose just like his namesake would.

"Not bad… Commander." Bull grunted begrudgingly.

"And you." He said through gritted teeth.

When they had started this bout of strength, it was clear Iron Bull didn't think Cullen could hold his own. But he had proven that even though the Qunari had at least a head of height on him, he was just as strong. Years of Templar and warrior training were paying off. It had taken a little bit to get his body back in a fighting routine. It had been a long time since Cullen had gone up against an opponent like Bull was presenting.

Cullen grunted and pushed hard, immediately releasing his hold on Bull. He spun around out of the Qunari's grasp.

Bull managed to catch himself before nearly toppling over into the dirt. He breathed heavily as he gave Cullen a nod. "Not bad."

His chest heaved from breathing as he returned Bull's smile.

"Are you boys  _still_  going at it?" A male voice called.

He turned in the direction of the main hall.

Rayne and Alec stood on the stairs leading up looking down at them.

The Inquisitor had his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face.

Rayne had a hand resting on her hip with a look of amusement on her face. She wore an armor set nearly identical to the one that was destroyed weeks before. The only difference: this one was a dark forest green and brown. Her new wardrobe had arrived at Skyhold earlier that morning, and from what Cullen had seen of it was filled with more than just armor.

Cullen shrugged sheepishly as he went to the edge of the ring he and Bull had been sparing in. Aiden sat on one of the wooden posts and handed him a water skin and held a towel at the ready.

"I see you're already putting the new fighting ring to good use." Rayne said as she and Alec descended.

He took a breath from drinking. "It's a good ring." He said.

Not wanting to disrupt his soldier training in the lower courtyard for his and Bull's sport, he and the Qunari had set to work on erecting a new ring in the upper courtyard a short distance away from tavern.

Rayne shook her head and nodded to the tavern. "I see you have some spectators." She said as she drew closer.

He breathed deeply taking in her scent. For the last few hours he had only smelled the sweating Qunari. Rayne's scent of spice and berries was a pleasant relief.

He finally turned to the tavern and found a group of five women huddled together whispering to one another. "The women around here can't get enough of Bull it seems." He took another swallow of water.

She chuckled. "I think they're appraising  _you,_  Commander."

As if on cue, a young maiden's eyes went to him and her eyes traveled down his body.

Cullen felt the heat come to his face and he turned to Rayne who had a smile on her face.

"I'm sure that red in your face is just from your exercise." She teased.

He cleared his throat and took the towel Aiden offered and began wiping away the sweat from his face and ruffling it through his sweat soaked hair.

Rayne's smile broadened and she took another step closer to him. She reached up to him.

His breath caught as her hand came close to his face and then up to his head. He felt her fingers weave into his hair.

She tilted her head as she spun a wet lock around her finger. "There are the curls I remember." She said softly.

A lump formed in his throat that he had a hard time swallowing down from the way she was looking at him. Her eyes were bright and yet distant as she looked back on a memory playing in her mind.

He found himself lost in that look. Time seemed to stand still and the world around him narrowed to just her face that was filled with a gentle bliss.

He began to raise his free hand up to her face.

"Hey Rayne!" A voice bellowed.

He winced as the spell was broken.

Rayne blinked rapidly and removed her hand from his hair as she turned her attention behind him.

Bull had a towel draped around his thick neck as he grinned at the mage. "See much of the show?"

"Saw enough to know our Commander was giving you a run for your money." She said lightly. Her eyes ticked back to Cullen. "I was hoping you would get the upper hand."

He chuckled and slapped a hand against the fence around him. "I'll blame it on the fact that I was already winded from building this."

She turned back to Bull. "I think you need a different competitor, Bull. You two are far too a match in strength."

Bull snorted. "He's the only one around here that can." He grinned at Cullen. "We need to do this more often."

Aiden swung his legs from his perch. "He's not the only one that could give you a challenge." He said in a sing song voice.

Rayne shot her son a look.

Bull raised an eyebrow. "What? Your mother?" He looked to Rayne and sized her up and scoffed. "Sure, Kid."

Rayne cocked a hip and placed a hand on it. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Careful, Bull." Alec said as he leaned against the fence.

Bull shrugged. "All I'm saying is, without magic you don't have a lot going for ya. You're scrawny."

Cullen suppressed the laughter and smile. He turned to keep his face hidden as he took another drink.

"Is that so?" She drawled. "Care to test that?"

Bull hesitated. "Seriously?"

She shrugged. "Why not? If I'm such an easy target," She grabbed the fence post and pulled herself over. "This should go quick and easy for you. Something you're use to in the bedroom."

Bull laughed. "All right. But let's make this interesting."

"Oh, this will be good." Cullen murmured under his breath as he pulled himself over to be on the outside.

Bull tossed his towel over the fence. "I win, I get into your bed."

Cullen nearly choked on the water he was drinking.

Rayne cocked her head to the left. "All right, deal."

"You… you can't be serious." Cullen sputtered.

She turned her head to him and smiled. "Just means I can't lose."

Bull clapped his hands together. "And what do you want if you win?" He grinned. "In my bed?"

Cullen didn't need to see her face to know she rolled her eyes. "No. Putting you on the ground will be sufficient reward for me." She began removing her gloves.

Cullen just watched her in amazement and shook his head.

"Commander!"

He turned to find a runner come towards him. "What is it?"

The runner saluted. "We have a party of travelers incoming, Sir! They are nearly to the front gate…"

His eyes went to Bull and Rayne as she knelt and began unlacing her boots. There was no way he was missing this. It had been far too long since he had seen her action. The last time was at the tower when he had been instructing her on combat.

He turned back to the runner. "If they're anyone of import bring them here."

"But… Sir…" The runner started.

"That's an order. Go wait for them."

The runner hesitated until he scowled. He nodded and ran back to the front gate.

Rayne had removed her corset, gloves and boots and handed them to Alec. Leaving her only in her breast band and leather breeches.

She rolled her shoulders and bounced on the balls of her feet.

Bull stretched his arms.

"If you like," Rayne said pleasantly. "We can do this on a different day."

"Why would we do that?" Bull asked rolling his shoulders.

"After the bout with Cullen, you're no doubt tired."

He snorted. "No way am I putting this off."

She shrugged and went side-faced to her opponent.

Bull tilted his head as he watched her.

Cullen hid his smile.

 **_"_ ** **_You're small." He said as he walked around her eying her head to toe. Trying to keep professional, but it was difficult._ **

**_"_ ** **_Uh… thanks?" She said hesitantly._ **

**_"_ ** **_Your opponents will no doubt always be bigger than you. So you need to find a way of exploiting your size to your advantage." He grabbed her waist gently and turned her side faced. "There."_ **

**_She frowned. "But why?"_ **

**_He smiled. "A smaller target is harder to hit."_ **

A slight gust stirred the branches of a nearby willow.

Bull eyed Rayne carefully looking for weaknesses. Finally he bent his knees and charged.

He covered the distance between them in three thundering steps. Rayne waited until Bull was nearly upon her, then jumped to the right. She had underestimated his speed, however. He had his hands extended with the intent to grab her, with her maneuver she had spun out of his grasp but his hand still winged her left shoulder.

Rayne winced at the impact but made no other sound and never took her eyes off her opponent.

Bull skidded across the ground trying to stop his momentum and spun around and instantly charged her again. And again Rayne attempted to jump out of the way. This time her maneuver succeeded, and she slipped past the Qunari with inches to spare. Whirling around, Bull ran at her a third time, and once more, Rayne managed to evade him.

Cullen braced himself against the post next to Aiden.

"This is gonna be good." The boy said in excitement.

He chuckled.

Then Bull changed tactics. Advancing sideways, like a crab, he thrust out his large, hooked hands to catch Rayne and pull her into his deadly embrace. Rayne flinched and retreated.

For several minutes, Rayne and Bull exchanged quick glancing blows. Rayne avoided closing with the Qunari wherever possible, trying to wear him out from a distance. It was a good tactic, but as the fight dragged on and Bull seemed no more tired than when they had begun. Rayne's sudden shift in posture told him she realized time was not her friend. If she was going to win, she had to end the fight without further delay.

Rayne withdrew to the far corner of the pin. She cocked her head. "So far Bull, I'm not overtly impressed. I can only imagine what you're like in the bedroom."

Bull growled. The Qunari sprinted towards her, turning slightly so as to crash into Rayne with his full weight.

Cullen watched with a frown, wondering what Rayne was intending by taunting the Qunari. As Bull charged he watched Rayne closely. Skipping out of the way, Rayne reached out for the tip of Bull's right horn but missed her mark and fell stumbling into the middle of the ring. She cursed to herself as she regained her footing.

Checking his headlong rush just before momentum carried him into the posts, Bull turned back, his grey eyes searching for Rayne.

Rayne gave a feral grin. "You couldn't hit a tree even if it was in front of you."

 **Careful.**  Cullen thought to himself.

Bull growled and sprang and Rayne, arms outstretched.

Cullen gasped as two of Bull's nails carved bloody furrows across Rayne's ribs as Rayne darted to his left, but she still managed to grasp and hang onto one of the Quanri's horns. Rayne grasped the other horn as well before Bull could shake her off. Using the horns as handlers, Rayne wrenched Bull's head to one side and, straining every muscle, cast the Qunari to the ground.

Cullen's eyes widened and he gaped. Rayne may not have been as physically strong as him or Bull but she had methods of using one's own strength and size against them.

A soon as Bull's chest touched the dirt, Rayne placed a knee on top of his right shoulder, pinning him in place. Bull snorted and bucked, trying to break Rayne's grip, but Rayne refused to let go. She braced her feet against a rock.

Bull relaxed for a moment, and then pushed himself off the ground with his left arm, lifting Rayne as well, and scrabbled with his legs in an effort to get them underneath his body. Rayne grimaced and leaned against Bull's neck and shoulder. After a handful of seconds, Bull's left arm buckled and he fell flat on his stomach again.

Both Rayne and Bull were panting as heavily as if they had run a race. Dust coated their bodies sticking to the sweat the glistened on them. Thin streams of blood ran down from the scratches on Rayne's side.

Bull resumed kicking and flailing once he had regained his breath, flopping around in the dirt like a hooked fish. Cullen could tell it took all Rayne's strength, but she hung on. Unable to free himself by those methods, Bull let his limbs go limp and then began to flex his neck again and again, in an attempt to exhaust Rayne's arms.

They lay there, neither of them moving more than a few inches as they struggled against each other.

After nearly ten minutes, sweat drenched Rayne's face. Cullen could see she struggled to get enough air into her lungs, her arms shook. Cullen knew she could not continue for much longer.

Just then, Bull's head quivered as a muscle in the Qunari's neck cramped. Bull grunted, the first sound he had made in over a minute. "I yield." He voice muffled into the dirt.

Satisfied, Rayne release Bull's horns and rolled away from the gray Qunari. She sat on the ground leaning back using her arms to brace herself as she caught her breath.

Cullen, Aiden and Alec cheered.

Bull rolled over and mimicked Rayne's sitting position. Despite his loss, a huge grin took over most his face. "That… was a blast!"

Rayne grinned back at the Qunari and shifted. She flinched and brought a hand to her ribs.

Bull winced. "Sorry 'bout that."

She waved in dismissal. "Don't worry about it. Once I regain my strength I'll heal up fine."

The Qunari shook his head. "I don't think I've ever had someone actually go for the horns like that."

Rayne chuckled. "Your horns can be your greatest advantage, and – as you found out – can be a disadvantage against the right opponent. Also, your size was a disadvantage against someone like me who has fought against someone like you before."

Bull tilted his head.

"Remember, I traveled with your current Arishok for over a year." She said in amusement. "And I didn't have horns to get leverage on  _him."_

Cullen smiled and shook his head.

Slow clapping started behind him causing him to turn. He fought to control his face from betraying his surprise.

 _"Bae_ _!"_  Aiden exclaimed and jumped from the post he had been sitting on.

It had been many years since Cullen had last seen the King of Ferelden. He hadn't changed much, aside from his once long hair was now cut short and styled back. From his physique Cullen could tell that Alistair had kept himself in fighting shape.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Rayne's smile wilt.

Alec came to Cullen's side. "Uh, did he just say  _bae?"_  He asked in hushed tones.

He nodded. "Meet Aiden's father."

Aiden rushed to Alistair.

When his son was in arms reach he knelt and gathered the boy in a tight embrace and rose off the ground lifting him into the air. "By the Maker! You've grown like a weed."

Rayne slowly rose off the ground and grabbed her side.

Bull quickly went to her and helped her walk to the edge of the ring. "Well, now I see why you've always denied me." He teased. "You have a high end palette."

Alistair – who had been smiling widely at Aiden – turned his attention to the Qunari and gave a lopsided smile. "What's this now?"

"Bull keeps on trying to get into mother's bed." Aiden offered. "Not sure why, it's not very comfortable."

"When we're alone Kid, I'll explain it to you." Bull teased.

Rayne turned red with either anger or embarrassment, Cullen wasn't sure. No matter the case, she grabbed the horn nearest her and yanked down bringing his face close hers. "You will do no such thing." She growled.

Alistair tilted his head and smiled in amusement and confusion. He shook his head and set Aiden back on the ground and placed a hand on his shoulder. His eyes scanned the crowd in front of him, and his smile fell when they came to Cullen.

"Your Majesty." Cullen said and gave a half bow. "Had I known it was you at the gate I would have had properly welcomed you." He was acutely aware that he was still only half dressed.

"What are you doing here?" Rayne asked finally speaking to him for the first time as she leaned against a post.

"Nice to see you too, Rayne." Alistair said dryly.

She sighed. "Fine. Welcome to Skyhold. What are you doing here?"

His eyes fell on Cullen. "I had received word from your Commander that you had fallen at Haven and that Aiden was here."

Cullen groaned remembering.  **That damned letter.** The one he wrote right after they found the Inquisitor. He had never sent anything to the king about her return.

Rayne raised an eyebrow and turned to Cullen.

He cleared his throat. "You did task me with getting him back to his father should anything happen to you. When I sent that letter… we thought you dead… again."

She gave him a warm one-sided smile. "I'm glad you held your promise."

"I told you I would." He turned back to the king who had a scowl on his face.

"Surely you received word I was alive." Rayne said, directing it to Alistair.

He shrugged. "We've had… erratic messages for a while. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that birds and runners were arriving when they should. We didn't know you were back with the Inquisition until we left Redcliffe to come here."

"We?" Rayne asked.

As if on cue another familiar face walked up the stone stairs leading from the lower courtyard.

If no one had told Cullen that the king wasn't really related to this man, he never would have known. Teagan Guerrin, Arl of Redcliffe looked like he truly was Alistair's uncle. In truth he was uncle to their previous king, Cailan, whose mother was Teagan's sister. He was maybe five years older than Cullen himself with shoulder length dark blond hair and blue eyes. He wasn't built like a warrior, but Cullen knew he could handle a sword well enough.

"Teagan?" Rayne asked in bewilderment.

His face split into a smile as his eyes fell on the mage. "After all this time… it's good to see you alive and well." His eyes went to Alec and offered a hand of greeting. "And you must be the Herald of Andraste, the man I have to thank for removing the mages from Redcliffe."

Alec took the other man's hand. "Yes, my lord. My name is Alec."

"Please, Teagan will suffice. Being Herald and now Inquisitor I think you have a higher station that I do." He quipped. His eyes went to Cullen and they brightened in recognition as he offered his hand. "Knight-Captain… Cullen? Wasn't it? We met briefly in Kirkwall."

Cullen took his hand. "It was, my lord. I'm now Commander of the Inquisition forces."

Teagan smiled pleasantly and stepped back.

"I must admit,  _Commander._  When I received your letter I wasn't expecting it to be from the same Templar I met during the Blight." Alistair said. Cullen thought he detected a hint of distaste.

He couldn't blame the king, if that were the case. Alistair had been there during Cullen's worst moments during the Blight, and so had been there when he had encountered Rayne again. It didn't matter that Rayne had forgiven him for the terrible things he had said, Cullen still hadn't forgiven himself and judging from the way Alistair always treated him, he hadn't forgiven Cullen either.

Alistair turned his attention back to Rayne, who had a frown of annoyance on her face. His face softened. "When I received that letter… you have no idea how much pain I was in."

Alec shifted uncomfortably.

Rayne caught his movement and then turned to Alistair with a sigh. With a grunt of pain she began to hoist herself over the post.

"Here, let me." Bull lifted her over.

Cullen was quick to grab her around the waist and draw her over to the other side with him. His senses filled with the intoxicating aroma of her usual spice and berries now mixed with sweat. He lowered her down to the ground. He held onto her a moment longer than what was truly appropriate. It wasn't until he caught Alistair's scowl deepen that he finally let go.

"Seriously, boys, I'm not broken." She teased as Cullen released his hold on her. "I'm just a little sore. Nothing a bath and healing won't fix.

"Hey, I was the cause of it." Bull said leaning against the post.

"Rayne." Alistair said gaining her attention. "Any chance we can talk?"

She turned to him and didn't answer.

Alistair's face fell. "Please?"

Finally she sighed and nodded. "Alright. But first go see Josephine, our Amabassador. She'll no doubt want to formally welcome you and set up accommodations for you both. That allows me time to clean up." She turned to Alec and took her things.

Alistair nodded and looked down at Aiden and smiled. "Any chance you can be my guide?"

Aiden smiled and nodded. "Come on." He grabbed his father's hand and began leading him to the main hall.

Teagan watched them and then turned back to their group. His eyes went to Rayne. "It is very good to see you again, my lady." He said softly.

She smiled warmly. "And you, Teagan."

With a final nod to the rest of them, the Arl rushed to catch up with his king.

Cullen turned to Rayne who shook her head. "Rayne?"

She looked at him and gave a bitter smile. "And it was starting off as such a nice day."


	35. Amell

She lay in the tub filled with water that she would continuously send magic into to keep hot. The heat helped sooth the aches in her arms. She knew she was going to be feeling the strain in her muscles from holding Bull down for days. But she had enjoyed the exercise. It had been far too long since she had done something like that. It felt good knowing that she could still hold her own against a Qunari.

Rayne sighed and closed her eyes as she slid deeper into the water. The smell of the scented spiced soap filling her nostrils and steam kissed her eyelids as the water reached her lips. She wasn't sure how long she had been soaking; she was just trying to delay her 'talk' with Alistair.

Thinking about him caused mixed feelings to bubble inside of her. On the one hand: she was happy to see him. If nothing else, she still considered him a close friend. They had been through too much together  _not_  to be.

On the other hand: that damnable look in his eye. The one that spoke of all the love and admiration he still had for her. That said he still believed he could bring her back to him and it didn't matter how many times she turned him away, he would still try.

**Ten years.**  She thought bitterly.  **Ten years and you still haven't let me go.**

She mentally sighed to herself and tried to push the thoughts away to relax again. After about fifteen minutes she still hadn't managed to. She frowned as her skin began to crawl.

Rayne slowly opened her eyes.

They widened as she shot her head out of the water and suppressed a scream. Water sloshed over the edges.

Alistair sat on the edge of her bed with his legs crossed and a quirked eyebrow.

She turned to the door and saw it sealed tight and turned back to him, her anger bubbling. "What the Hell do you think you're doing in here?" She practically yelled.

He shrugged as if this was completely normal and fine. "You said you would talk to me."

"Yes, but I explicitly said  _after_  I cleaned up."

Alistair's eyes traveled down from her face. "You look clean to me."

Rayne's eyes dropped and she flushed realizing her pink breasts, from the scrubbing and heat, were completely exposed. She dropped back to the water and glared at him.

Alistair gave her a seductive smile, one she knew all too well. "It's nothing I haven't seen before, Rayne."

"Beside the point." She growled. "Something you haven't seen in quite a few years."

"And I see nothing has changed in those four years."

Rayne felt the heat come to her face. "You ever stop to think this was highly inappropriate?"

He shrugged. "Why would it be?"

She gritted her teeth. "Going into a woman's room while she's bathing is highly inappropriate!"

"Even if it's a woman you've seen naked before?"

"Not when she's a woman you're not with! I know you're not that fucking dense!"

"That can easily be rectified." He smiled.

Anger flared hot in her, so much so, that she was unconsciously sending out magic into the water causing it to start bubbling. "Get. Out." She growled.

He raised an eyebrow.

She felt her lyrium brand flare against her skin. "Alistair, Maker help me! If you don't get out right this second I will throw you from the balcony!"

Alistair flinched at the volume of her voice. But he reluctantly stood from her bed and went to her door. "I'll be waiting in your study." He said over his shoulder as he closed the door behind him.

Rayne grumbled and growled under her breath. She made a mental note to lock her door from here on out while he was here. It was something she didn't have to worry about before. No one at Skyhold had a death wish.

With a final growl of frustration she stepped out of the tub. She grabbed her black silk robe and tied it around her before she began untangling her hair with a comb. Once finished with that she began applying oils to her body that were scented with berries. She took her time; she was trying to curb her anger still.

A half hour later she emerged from her room wearing an ivory and brown underbust corset over a white short chemise shirt with ruffled cuffs that went down to her wrists and had drawstrings that allowed her to tighten or loosen them as she saw fit, a drawstring neckline allowing her to wear it on or off her shoulders – she opted for the former. Her legs were covered by cotton brown pants with her black thigh high boots over them.

She had debated for a time just simply coming out to Alistair in her robe. But had thought better of it. She didn't want him thinking she was comfortable being practically naked with him around.

Alistair stood over the table in the center of the room with all her maps and documents overlooking everything. "Still looking I see." He said as he heard her enter but never taking his eyes off the map.

She cocked her hip and placed a hand on it. "Of course. You sound surprised by that."

He finally lifted his gaze to her and smiled warmly. "I think I'm more surprised at your clothing. Don't think I've ever seen you in anything like that before."

She raised an eyebrow.

"I like it."

She rolled her eyes and went to her desk and sat on the edge and crossed her legs. "So glad I have your approval." She said dryly.

His smile fell. "Aren't you the least bit happy to see me, Rayne?" His voice wounded.

She hesitated. "I'm always happy to see you, Alistair." She said honestly. "I just always dread what comes with seeing you. Because it's always the same."

Alistair studied her closely and then sighed. "Can you blame me?" He said in a defeated tone.

"It's been a decade."

"Technically it's only been four years since I got you to agree to come back to Denerim with me." He pointed out.

"A… decision I should not have made."

He frowned. "So you regret making that choice now?"

She remained silent. "Why are you here?"

"I told you why."

She frowned. "You could have easily turned back around once you heard I was alive."

"Is it so wrong to want to see you?" He snapped.

"Yes." She hissed.

"And  _our_  son? I haven't seen him in three years either."

Her temper subsided and she sighed. "No… I won't deny you seeing your son, I never would." She said softly.

Awkward silence filled the room before Alistair cleared his throat. "Have you been with the Inquisition long?"

She smirked at his attempt to find a safe topic. "Four months… I think." She tilted her head. "Hard to keep track, truth be told. Seems like every day just kinda runs into the next."

He chuckled. "Aye. I remember how that goes."

"How goes being all kingly?" She asked lightly.

He shrugged. "As well as can be expected with a land just starting to clean up from the Mage/Templar conflict. Have to thank the Inquisitor for that."

She smiled. "Alec. He prefers Alec."

"Noted." He said in amusement. "It's amazing how a lot of people go their whole lives wanting some kind of prestige and title, and the moment they get it, they don't want it."

Rayne chuckled. "Don't think that's true. Look at you. You never wanted to be king."

He snorted. "Yeah. Had a damnable mage put me on that throne anyway."

"And look at all the good you've done." She said cheerily.

He rolled his eyes. "Right." He said dryly. "Gave sanctuary to mages after the war broke out, that led to them bringing in Tevinter Magisters, who are trying to help a darkspawn magister destroy the world. Yeah, I've done splendid work."

"Hey, you're heart was in the right place."

"I'm sure the people of Redcliffe will see it that way." He said sarcastically.

"I'm sure Teagan will help you with that." She said assuredly. "The fact that he doesn't hold a grudge will speak volumes to his people."

"Truthfully, I doubt Teagan could hold any kind of grudge." Alistair said with a laugh.

"Probably." She said with laughter in her voice.

He shook his head and took a deep breath. "Speaking of magisters and darkspawn…" He said getting serious. "This…  _thing_ … Corypheus? Is he really what he claims to be?"

She shrugged. "We only have what Corypheus has told us. If we went on his word alone, he's one of the original magisters that broke the Golden City… if you believe that anyway."

Alistair gave her a rueful smile. He looked away and rapped a knuckle on the table next to him.

She tilted her head. She knew him well enough to know he was struggling with whatever he wanted to ask or say. "What is it?"

He frowned still not meeting her gaze. "Rayne… do you think I'm a strong man?"

Rayne looked at him in bewilderment. "Uh… what?"

He took a deep breath and turned his eyes to her and she was shocked to see fear in them. "I've been… hearing The Calling." He finally admitted.

She released the pent up breath and gave him a small smile. "No… you're not."

He frowned. "I think I would know if I wasn't."

She shook her head and relayed her conversation with Stroud from the day before.

After she was finished, Alistair sat heavily in the chair at the table. "Corypheus can do that?"

She shrugged. "So it would seem."

"You've been hearing it too then?" He asked.

She nodded.

"But you didn't act on it?" He said in doubt.

She pursed her lips. "I… knew it wasn't The Calling. You remember what it was like fighting the archdemon?"

Alistair scrunched up his face at the thought. "Unfortunately."

"And how loud and just…" She shook her head. "Just the way it felt and sounded? This false Calling, it doesn't feel like that."

He thought a moment and then nodded. He sighed in relief. "Well, it's good to know I'm not going to the Deep Roads anytime soon."

Rayne frowned. "You were hearing it even in Denerim then?"

He shrugged. "It wasn't nearly as loud or incessant as it became the closer I got here. I was easily able to block it out, so I didn't think much of it." He frowned. "On the way here it got to a point that lulls in conversation or noise I began to hum that blasted song. Right annoying actually."

She chuckled. "Yeah, it can be."

He looked back down at the table.

"What is it, Alistair?" She asked in amusement.

"Hearing The Calling… it put a lot in perspective." He brought his eyes back to her. "Which is another reason I came here even after hearing you were alive." He took a deep breath and leaned forward. "Rayne, I would like to take Aiden back to Denerim with me when I leave."

Rayne raised an eyebrow. "Not that I would ever keep him from you, but to take him away? Why?"

His eyes went to the floor. "When The Calling became louder as the closer we got, I thought: This is it? Soon I'll have to go to the Deep Roads to die? I realized how easy it was for me to forget that part of myself since the Blight. No darkspawn around to remind me what is in my blood and what my fate will end up being."

He raised his eyes and there was a deep longing and sadness in them. "And I realized I barely know my son. He's nearly eleven years old and I've only been with him a year of that."

Rayne winced at that. He wasn't accusing her of anything. But she knew it was her fault. She had run when she was pregnant with Aiden and had been in hiding for seven years until Alistair came to Kirkwall. It was only after she was thought dead for that first year after Kirkwall that Alistair had actually spent any considerable time with Aiden. And then she had come back and Aiden wanted to go with her again.

"You and I," He continued unaware of her thoughts. "We were both recruited into the Wardens during the Blight. Who knows how long we actually have before our true Calling claims us. Wardens live short lives as it is. But us? We fought in a Blight, surrounded almost constantly by darkspawn and then fought an archdemon. The odds are not in our favor to last long before our Calling."

She nodded. "I know." She said softly. It was something she always thought about.  **Yet another reason I don't want someone in my life.**  She thought to herself, thinking about her and Vector's conversation the day before. She didn't want anyone to see what she will become, and she would have to leave them sooner or later.

"And… I would like to get to know Aiden before my time comes." Alistair finished.

She gave him a soft smile. "And you should. I won't deny you that, Alistair. But I'm not going to order him to leave with you."

He frowned and opened his mouth to argue.

Rayne held up a hand to stop him. "But, if you tell him what you just said to me, there is no doubt it my mind that Aiden will go with you willingly." She smiled. "You are, after all, his father and he loves you. If he wants to go, I will let him."

Alistair's face relaxed and he smiled. "Thank you."

She nodded.

He tilted his head. "And you?"

She frowned in confusion. "And me, what?"

"Will you come back with us?"

She sighed in annoyance.  **And this was going so well.**  "No. I joined the Inquisition to help. I'm staying here."

His eyes darkened. "Yeah, I saw why you joined." He said hotly.

She raised an eyebrow at the heat she heard in his tone. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He stood and walked around the table. "Nothing."

"Don't nothing me, Alistair." She snapped. "You brought this up."

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Why is it you  _always_  manage to end up where that Templar is?"

"That Templar…?" She asked in confusion. And then it came to her. "Cullen?"

His frowned deepened.

**That's it. He's jealous of Cullen.** She thought. "You think I intentionally land where ever he is? I didn't know he was in Kirkwall and I sure as Hell didn't know he was here." She threw her arms into the air. "When I first went to Haven I was placed in a cell, for Maker's sake!"

He didn't say anything.

Rayne glare at him. "Besides, it's no concern of yours even if I do prefer Cullen's company."

Alistair clenched his jaw and swung on her. He took two long steps towards her closing the gap between them. "After everything he said… after everything he tried to make you do? And you just…" He clamped his mouth shut.

She jumped off her desk to be nose-to-nose… or as close to his nose as she could be with their height difference with him. "No, please continue. What is it you  _think_ I do?" She snapped.

Alistair gritted his teeth.

"Say it!" She yelled.

"You have a penchant for spreading your legs for everyone!" He yelled back.

Rayne's curled lip vanished. The anger that had been burning hot in her before evaporated in an instant and was replaced with shock. "W-what?"

"You heard me." He hissed.

"Alistair!" An Orlesian voice cut in.

Alistair winced and turned to the open door.

Rayne's eyes slowly went to it as well.

Leliana stood in the doorway with her hands balled into fists and her cheeks pink with anger. "What is wrong with you?" She hissed at Alistair.

He turned back to Rayne and flinched. His shoulders sagged and the venom and anger that had been there once before was gone. Replaced by shame. "Rayne… I…"

Rayne barely saw him. Unshed tears of anger and hurt clouded her eyes. "Get out." She said in a hoarse whisper.

"Rayne… Please. I just…" He reached a hand out to try and touch her arm.

She smacked it away. "GET OUT!" She yelled.

He flinched as if she had smacked him across the face. Truthfully, she was tempted to. "Rayne…" He whispered.

Leliana grabbed his upper arm and turned him. "She said to leave." She growled. "Either you can leave on your own, or  _I_   _will make you._ "

Alistair turned his eyes to Rayne one last time. "I'm sorry… I…"

She turned away from him.

When he finally realized she wasn't going to even look at him, he headed to the door.

Leliana lagged behind a moment to watch him go.

"Leliana…" Rayne said hoarsely.

The Spymaster turned to her with compassionate eyes.

"Don't tell anyone about this." She whispered. "No one."

Four days later, after Alistair realized Rayne wasn't going to see him again – Leliana making sure he wasn't permitted anywhere near her room – he made preparations to leave Skyhold along with Aiden.

Rayne fastened another strap on Aiden's horse and pat the hind end of the horse. "Good boy." She turned to her son would sat with Elgar and Ghost as they waited for Alistair to show up. She went to him.

Aiden looked up at her. "I was hoping Varric and Cole would have gotten back before now." He said.

Alec had left Skyhold with all his companions to head south as they awaited more news from Vector and Stroud in the Western Approach. Skyhold seemed quiet with them all gone.

"I know." She sat on the ground next to him. "The Emerald Graves I hear are pretty treacherous." She smiled. "It's not as if you're never going to see them again,  _da'len."_

He sighed. "I know. You'll tell them I said good-bye though?"

"Of course."

Aiden looked up at the approaching footsteps.

Rayne was expecting to see Alistair. Instead it was Cullen.

The Commander smiled down at Aiden. "You didn't think I was going to let you leave without a proper good-bye, did you?"

Aiden grinned and jumped up and rushed at Cullen.

Cullen knelt so it was easier for Aiden to hug him. He brought the boy in a warm embrace. "I expect to hear for you every now and then." He said.

Aiden nodded as he buried his face into Cullen's shirt.

Rayne smiled warmly.

Cullen was the first to break the hug. "I have something for you." He reached into his coat and pulled out a dagger.

Aiden's eyes widened as his fingers traced the golden lion's head with small red rubies as its eyes that was the pommel. "Really?"

Cullen smiled. "I've had that for over ten years. The start of my lion collection as it were." He chuckled.

Aiden looked up at him. "Thank you, Cullen." He threw his arms around Cullen's neck once more.

They were like that for a few heartbeats before someone cleared their throat behind them.

Rayne raised her gaze to Alistair and Teagan.

Alistair looked down at his son and Cullen with barely hidden annoyance. "Are you ready?" He asked Aiden.

Aiden released Cullen and nodded.

Rayne rose from the ground and brushed off her legs. She went to help Aiden into his saddle.

When he was secure he looked down at her with tears in his eyes. He wanted to go, but he didn't want to leave her either.  _"Ar'lath ma, da'mi."_

_"_ _Ma'arlath."_  He choked.

"We'll see each other soon. I promise."

He nodded. Not wanting to start crying in front of her or Cullen he gently tapped his horse's sides directing it to the front gate. Teagan was close behind with their guards.

"Rayne…" Alistair said behind her.

She didn't even look at him. "Don't." She whispered. "For our son's sake, safe travels to you."

She felt the pressure of his gaze on her back.

Finally she heard him mount his horse and he rode past.

Before passing under the gate, Aiden stopped and looked back at her.

Rayne raised a hand of farewell.

Once they were gone, Cullen finally spoke. "Rayne, what happened between you and Alistair?"

She hesitated. "The truth."


	36. Cullen/Amell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first in depth smut scene... ever. Hope it doesn't disappoint

 

His muted footfalls sounded around him as he continued to climb the second staircase, this definitely gave her privacy. He tugged at his cloth shirt. He had taken to heart her suggestion of him wearing simple attire around Skyhold. So now he wore a simple cotton shirt, depending on the day it was either black or white that he kept loosely tied in the front; his dark brown leather breeches and black leather boots. But he had refused to leave his sword. It still felt strange to him to be going around without his armor, he felt almost naked without it. He couldn't remember the last time he had worn simple fare.

He wondered if she truly understood his words to her the day after her attack weeks ago.

"I'm beginning to think you're just intimidated by me." A deep voice said ahead of him.

Cullen frowned. He hadn't made it to her door yet, so had stopped when he heard the voice. He didn't want to intrude if she was with someone. He leaned against the wall simply listening.

"Yes. You Qunari frighten me. That's why I traveled with one for almost two years." He heard Rayne quip.

 **Ah, Iron Bull.**  Cullen thought to himself.

"There is a difference between traveling with one and  _being_  with one."

Cullen gritted his teeth.

"But it's understandable." Bull continued. "There is a lot to us. I can understand why it would be intimidating."

"Trust me. Your size or lack thereof, is of no concern to me." Rayne said dryly.

There was a pause, making Cullen wonder what Bull had thought about that. He didn't understand how Rayne could constantly put up with Bull's advancements like she did. But the Qunari would not be deterred. Rayne was a prize to him.

"You know, I  _could_ just bend you over this table and take you." He said suggestively.

 **Okay, that's enough.**  Cullen growled to himself and rushed up the remaining stairs.

Rayne's door was wide open.

She stood over her table reading over a parchment. She set it down and scrawled a few lines on the map. She wore a white chemise draped top with the sleeves going down to the palms of her hands. Her breeches were black form fitting leather. She was barefoot, her boots thrown into the corner nearest her desk.

Bull stood off to the side leaning against the table watching her. A smirk came to his face when he saw the Commander.

Without looking up, Rayne responded. "You could certainly try." She said lightly. "And then you could find yourself missing a horn, one you're more attached to than the ones on your head."

Bull burst out laughing and pushed away from the table. "Sounds like a good time in my book."

Rayne shook her head. "Greetings, Commander."

His eyes ticked to Bull and then back to Rayne. "Captain." When he wasn't alone with her, he reverted to his old habits of rank first.

Bull started his exit for the door. "Until next time, Rayne."

She chuckled but never looked up from what she was doing.

Once the Qunari was gone, Cullen shut the door and shook his head. "How can you stand it?" He asked as he turned back to her and went to the table.

She raised her head slightly and then looked back down at the missive in her hand. "Stand what?"

"Bull. And his… advancements. If you even want to call what he just said an advancement." He grumbled the last words.

Rayne smirked as she circled an area near the Western Approach. "Heard that did you?"

"How can you take that lightly?" He asked. "Especially after—" He immediately clamped his mouth shut. He didn't want to bring that up.

She looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. "Because I know he would never honestly just take what he wants. He's not that much of a barbarian."

He conceded that. "It still seems… wrong." He mumbled.

She gave him a lopsided smile and turned her attention back to her work, scratching a strange symbol in the circle she had just drawn and marking an 'X' threw another. "It's kinda like foreplay. Talking dirty."

He frowned. "And Bull just assumes that every woman likes that kind of thing?"

She chuckled. "My dear, Commander. Every woman, no matter if they say they don't, deep down they want to be talked to like that. Especially the tight buttoned up ones. It's naughty and dangerous. It's a thrill to hear some man, or woman if that's your preference, tell you the things they want to do to you."

He raised an eyebrow and went to the wall behind her and leaned against it, crossing his arms over his chest. "Every woman? Does that include you?"

He had a hard time picturing Rayne like that. For some reason, no matter how much she changed, he always saw her as the innocent, shy girl from the tower when it came to sex. It was actually foolish to think of her like that. She obviously had partners, or at least one. She did have a son after all. But to be sexually promiscuous? That was different.

She chuckled lightly as she leaned forward giving him a perfect view of her ass. "Oh, especially me." She teased.

"Really?" Trying to figure out if she was serious.

She turned enough to look behind her to him, a playful smirk on her face before turning back. "You have no idea." She said lightly. "Does it seem so surprising that I would? That I would be… adventurous?"

 **Adventurous?**  "And, uh, how adventurous  _are_  you exactly?"

"I'd probably make you turn ten shades of red with some of the things I've done." She chuckled. "But I have a feeling you would burn even with the smallest thing."

He frowned in annoyance. "I'm not some blushing choir boy."

"No?" She said playfully.

He shifted in slight annoyance. This wasn't exactly a comfortable conversation and began to wonder how exactly they got to this point of talking about their sex lives.

"So, if I were to tell you, oh…" She paused thinking a moment. "That I was a participant in a four-some, that wouldn't turn you red?"

He simply blinked a few moments, at a loss for words. Finally he shook his head. "You're joking." She had to be.

She turned fully to him and leaned against the table, a smirk on her face. "Actually, I'm not. You even know one of the participants." She thought a moment. "Well, technically you know all of them. But only one do you know as more than a name. She's here in Skyhold."

"S-she?"

Her smirk widened and she turned around. "See. Told you. And that was one of my more… tame encounters."

Cullen's mind wandered and he realized that she was speaking of Leliana. "I just… I didn't realize that you were, uh." He cleared his throat, trying to word it correctly. "Interested in women. In that way, I mean."

She shrugged. "I'm not really. It was only the once. An experiment. It was… interesting. But I'm far too greedy to share partners I've found out."

He was slightly relieved by that, but now he couldn't help but think over who else was involved. "Was it all women?"

"Oh no. There was one man." She chuckled. "It's killing you trying to figure it out, isn't it?"

"A bit, yes." He admitted.

She tapped the map and then grabbed a new missive. "Leliana, Isabela and Zevran."

Yes, he had met all of them. Briefly. He knew Isabela from his time in Kirkwall when she was with the Champion. And Zevran was the assassin that had been at Rayne's side during the Blight. He knew a little of them and now understood how Rayne got roped into something like that.

"I'm pretty sure that was one of Zevran's best days." She said in amusement.

"I bet." Cullen mumbled. "And that was one of your most tame?"

"What can I say? I'm a naughty girl." She chuckled.

Staring at her and having this new revelation, Cullen couldn't help but be even more intrigued. His eyes traveled down her body.

As much as he hated to admit it to himself, Rayne was partially right. He had been with women, of course, but he was far from sexually promiscuous. Even though he did try a few things that he never thought he would have.

When he had first arrived at Kirkwall after the Blight, rumors and stories of his infatuation with a mage from Ferelden had come with him. No matter how much he insisted that wasn't the case, especially at the time, the rumors persisted. It didn't help that he refused advancements from some of the female recruits. Meredith had finally heard them and put a stop to them, but she also went a step further.

He remembered the awkward conversation she began asking about his sex life. At the time he had never been with anyone. Woman or man. In order to stop rumors of him and a mage, she had sent him to the Blooming Rose, a brothel.

He still remembered the woman he had… been assigned, so to speak. He had been uncomfortable at first because of her appearance, later he would laugh and be glad for it. She had long silky black hair, dark blue eyes and peach colored skin. He could pretend she was the woman he really wanted. He thought it would only be the once, but he found himself returning every few weeks. She taught him many different ways to please a woman.

The rumors about him soon stopped all together when his fellow Templars saw him more frequently at the brothel. It wasn't until Rayne came to Kirkwall that he stopped going.

He swallowed past the nervous lump in his throat as he contemplated if he should say what he was thinking. His eyes went to the door. It was sealed tight and he knew anyone that would need her would know not to just walk in with it shut.

He took the plunge. What was the worst that could happen?  **She could laugh in your face,**  he thought to himself. He remembered Bull's words before. "So, if I were to say that I wanted to bend you over this table and take you?" He successfully kept the nervousness out of his voice and was proud of the fact that he was able to sound confident.

Rayne didn't even falter what she was doing. She continued to mark the map. After finishing something, she grabbed the jar near her ink well and spread the sand that was inside to soak up any residual ink and help dry it. She gently blew the excess dust off.

His nervousness began to grow as she continued to remain quiet. Was she trying to find a way of rejecting him without hurting his feelings? Was she just trying to contain the laughter at his attempt? Doubt began to seep into him.

Finally she turned and using her hands, she leaned against the table which caused her to push out her chest. Not that she needed help. Becoming a mother had done wonders for her body.

At the tower, to him she was a ravishing beauty. The most beautiful thing to walk this earth. Looking at her now, she now had the body of a woman, not a girl. She had curves and a full bosom, making her look soft and voluptuous.

Now, she was a goddess and still the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen.

Looking at her, he felt pressure in his breeches as he felt his arousal. But he tried to stay aloof and calm. Trying to put off the air that she had no effect on him.

She tilted her head and gave him a smoldering look. "I would say, prove it."

He faltered. Did she mean it?

When he continued to just stand there like an idiot, she smirked and shook her head. "As I said, being in thrall to the Chantry has made you too much of a pure soul. Not that there isn't anything wrong with that." She turned and picked up her map and began folding it.

Resolved he finally pushed himself off the wall and took quick steps to her before she could move.

He placed both his hands on her hips and pressed himself as close as possible to her back. His arousal pressing to her backside. He brought his lips close to her ear, "I'm not as much of a pure soul as you might think." He said softly against her flesh. He brushed his lips against her neck behind her ear. He remembered that being a sensitive spot for her during their time at the tower.

And apparently it still was. He felt her shiver against him. "Is that so?" She breathed.

He slowly moved his right hand forward along the waist band edge under her shirt feeling warm smooth skin until it was at the front and pulled on the leather belt held up her breeches. The belt released easily and he slipped his hand in finding that she wore no smallclothes. It was a pleasant surprise as his hand traveled deeper over her mound slowly and tantalizing.

"You're about to find out." He said in a husky whisper as his fingers found her heat.

His fingers teased her lips; already she was damp as he slipped the tip of his middle finger into the folds. He savored the feel of how warm and wet she was. The pressure in his own breeches was becoming unbearable but he had a plan in mind for her. His satisfaction would wait.

Rayne shivered against him as his finger found her clitoris and started gently applying pressure to it.

His left hand that had stayed on her hip traveled up under her shirt gliding over her breasts that were bound with a breast band. He got to the top edge and pulled it down freeing her breasts. They fell easily out of their restraints and he eagerly took one in his hand noting how perfectly it fit. He took her nipple between his thumb and forefinger and rolled it between them and giving it a sharp pinch.

She took a sharp intake of breath as he pinched and a low moan escaped her as he flicked her clitoris. The nipple he had became stiff as he continued.

He brought his lips to the back of her neck, kissing it gently and grazing his teeth against the exposed skin. Growing frustrated with her blouse that was in his way, he finally released her breast and grabbed the bottom edge of her blouse. He backed up only enough to give him enough room to pull the shirt over her head, grabbing her breast band in the process.

He tossed both on the floor. "Much better." He breathed against her skin. He ran his free hand over her back, enjoying the feel of her warm skin.

At least until he came across a scar.

The hand that was still pleasing her faltered as he finally took in her back. Very light healing scars of jagged lines marred her back. There were at least five. They were thin and old since they didn't stand out unless you were looking for them.

Cullen had seen her exposed back often enough to know these weren't there when she lived in the Circle or in Kirkwall. Meaning she had to get these sometime after the Chantry was destroyed. And he could take a good guess as to what and who caused them.

He finally withdrew his fingers from her, causing her to mewl in protest at his abrupt departure. He took her hips in his hands and began kissing down her back, taking extra care to kiss all five scars until he came to her waist band.

He grabbed her breeches and began pulling them down slowly as he continued his trail of kisses down her backside, thighs and calves. Once they were pooled around her feet, Rayne easily stepped out.

He still knelt on the floor, running his hands up the inside of her legs to her calves taking in her completely naked body. Her skin turned into gooseflesh under his touch as she shivered, her legs spreading giving him easier access as his hands reached her thighs and ass.

His fingers kneaded into her thighs right under her cheeks. One hand ran along the inside of her thigh from the back to the front until he found her heat again, spreading her legs even further. His fingers teased her slit, dancing playfully.

Rayne groaned in frustration and one of her hands went down to his. She grabbed it and attempted to have it enter her again.

Cullen stopped her and chuckled. "So demanding." He teased and kissed the back of her thighs.

"I never would have pictured you as much of a tease." She said in a husky voice as he pulled his hand from hers.

He stood and grabbed her hips again, bringing his hard arousal that was still confined in his breeches to her exposed backside. He licked his lips as she rubbed her ass up and down him, feeling the bulge. "You're not the only one full of surprises."

He slid a hand up her back following her spine as she continued to rub against him. He resisted the urge to simply release his cock and bend her over as he promised. But he had something far better in mind.

Gently, yet forcibly, he spun her around so they were face to face.

Rayne gasped at the suddenness and surprise.

He only took a moment to drink her in. The nipple he had been fondling was a brighter red than the other, but both were now erect.

He grinned and grabbed her ass and lifted her onto her table, bringing their faces closer together.

He traced his thumb along her jawline. He wanted to savor every moment, he had dreamed of this for over a decade. To have her now, he was almost afraid that this was actually nothing but a dream and soon it would pop like a fragile bubble.

He brought his thumb to her lips that were as soft as rose petals.

Rayne looked up at him with a mischievous glint in her eyes. She opened her mouth slightly and wrapped her lips around it.

Cullen moaned low as she sucked delicately on the tip, imagining what else she could do with her mouth.

He removed his thumb and brought his face down to hers intending to kiss her. Something he hadn't done with her since the tower.

But she pulled away.

He pulled back looking at her. At first he thought she had changed her mind.

But the look in her eyes and her face said she was playing coy. Punishment for his teasing.

He grinned and leaned her back. "So, that's how you want to play?"

"As I recall, you were the one that started this game." As she arched her back.

He brought his mouth to her collar and kissed lightly before biting sharply. Not enough to cause undo damage. But to elicit a low whimper. He continued to kiss down her body, stopping briefly at both nipples and suckling on them before moving on. When he got to her stomach she lay down flat on the table as he spread her legs to kiss her inner thighs.

"I would just like it noted," She said lightly as she squirmed under his kisses. "This isn't taking—"

She didn't get any further.

Cullen grinned one last time before giving her lower lips an open kiss.

Rayne gasped in surprise as his tongue snaked in her folds and quickly finding the nub that he sought. He flicked her clitoris and opened her lips further to suck on it.

She gave a low moan and arched her back bringing herself closer to him. He heard scratching on the table that told him she was clawing at the wood trying to contain herself.

He aimed to rectify that. Continuing to suck on the clitoris he brought a finger and slipped it inside of her.

Her moans grew louder as he slowly pumped his finger in and out of her and adding another finger.

Rayne squirmed, bringing her leg over his shoulder; he could feel her leg shake as she whimpered something that sounded like his name.

"Hey, Angel-face!"

The voice immediately stopped what he was going and he felt Rayne go rigid. Only one person called her that.

Cullen brought his head up enough to see her throw her arms towards the still closed door. He heard a faint click that said she had locked it.

"Angel-face? You in there?"

Groaning, she finally answered. "What is it, Varric?"

Cullen debated for maybe a heartbeat. A wicked grin came to his face as she looked down at him.

Rayne's eyes widened as she saw his intent. "Don't you dare." She whispered.

And like that, he quickly thrust his fingers as deep inside her as he could.

Her head went back and a squeak that was initially going to be a cry of pleasure escaped her lips before she could stop it.

"Hey, are you okay in there?" Varric shook the door. "Why is the door locked?"

"I-I'm fine!" She yelled back, unable to control the volume of her words as Cullen went back to sucking on her clitoris. "What is it?"

Silence answered them for a moment. "We are back with a status report about the Emerald Graves. I volunteered to come get you."

Cullen curled his finger deep inside of her constricting walls.

He felt Rayne's leg on the back of his head and she tried to keep from crushing it. He felt her fingers in his hair as he lapped away inside of her, licking away the juices that came out.

"Angel-face?" There was a pause. "Rayne?" Varric asked hesitantly.

Rayne groaned in frustration at Cullen's administrations and Varric's interruptions. "I'm a l-little busy."

"But the Inquisitor—"

"I will be down in a few min—"

Cullen released his mouth from her lips and bit the inside of her thigh at her last word.

Unable to catch herself in midsentence, Rayne cried out in equal amounts of pleasure and pain.

"Rayne?" Varric now had a frantic tone to his voice.

"I'm fine. Stubbed my toe!" She managed to turn her gaze down to him before he continued. "I hate you, so much right now." She hissed low.

He grinned and thrust his fingers hard again causing her to groan, he felt the walls inside constrict. "That so?" He said in a low voice.

Rayne arched her back as he pushed deeper, taking his thumb and applying pressure to her clitoris and rolled it slowly and then picking up speed. Her nails dug into the wood that would leave permanent indentations.

"Alright." Varric said hesitantly. "You haven't seen Curly around have you? He wasn't in his quarters."

Cullen sighed. Varric was starting to annoy him.

"I-I'm sure he's a-around. I'll be down soon." Her voice pitched slightly with the last word. She managed to catch herself as her legs began to shake.

Cullen dug his face inside of her again and felt her walls constrict one last time before her juices began to freely flow. He drank all he could.

When finally it was spent he stood from the floor and leaned down to her stomach kissing it repeatedly as she tried to regain her breath. He looked up at her face. Her eyes were shut and her breasts rose and fell with each deep breath she took.

"That…" she said. "Was unfair."

He grinned. "Still hate me?"

Her eyes ticked to him and he could have sworn he saw a light green tinge to her blue eyes. With a smile, she slowly sat up with shaking arms.

Cullen helped raise her.

She tilted her head and brought her hand up to his face. With her thumb she wiped her juices from the corner of his lips and licked it away. "Maybe." Her fingers walked down his chest. "It just means I get to punish you for it."

He gave her a lopsided smile as he watched her fingers. "Oh?"

"Mmm." Was the only response she gave before she tugged at his belt.

His sword belt clattered to the floor as she easily began untying his breeches.

"Rayne…" He said watching. "The Inquisitor—"

"Will wait." She said and kissed the base of his throat and slipped her hand inside his loose breeches. "This won't."

She gently took his hard shaft in her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Cullen groaned as her hand stroked him slowly. Pre-cum acting as a lubricant for her.

"Do you still want to go see the Inquisitor?" She breathed into his neck.

She applied a little more pressure as she reached the head of his cock, rolling the head in her hand. Eliciting a groan as a response.

She sucked on his color bone. "Do you want me to stop?"

The Commander side of his brain said that she should stop. His duties to the Inquisition took precedent. But the other part of his brain, the one that wanted Rayne in every way he could, won out.

"No." He growled and pulled her hand out of his breeches.

Rayne looked at him with surprise.

Cullen slid her back on the table, her surprise at his actions catching her off guard. He quickly tugged off his shirt, lowered his breeches and stepped out of them and climbed on top of the table, crawling over Rayne's body.

Her surprise was quickly replaced with desire as she moved further back, allowing him room to find purchase as he positioned himself in-between her legs.

He raised her legs to bring her slit closer to his cock and teasingly brushed it against her lips.

Rayne bucked her hips trying to get him to enter her.

"You want this?" He said in a deep husky voice. It was taking all his control to tease her.

She bit her lower lip and nodded.

"Tell me…" He stroked his shaft allowing pre-cum to cover it.

"Fuck me, Cullen." She whimpered.

Grinning, he guided his shaft to her entrance and was about to enter her…

Pounding on the door made them both jump.

"For fucks sake!" Rayne yelled in frustration. "Really, Varric?"

But it wasn't Varric's voice that answered. "We are not here to bend to your whims, mage!" Cassandra's voice yelled back. "You are required in the War Room… now! And if you don't exit this room in five minutes I'm breaking down this door!"

Rayne rubbed her face in frustration.

With a defeated sigh, Cullen backed away from her.

"No, don't." She pleaded in a low voice.

Cullen looked at her. Her eyes pleaded for him to come back. He nearly did. He wanted her. He  _needed_  her.

He shook his head and began pulling on his breeches, wincing as he tucked back in his cock that was practically throbbing with being denied.

Rayne growled deep in her throat. It sounded more primal than it should. "Fine!" She barked back. Her anger and frustration coming out. "Five minutes!"

Cullen listened to the sounds of receding footsteps and sighed. "No doubt she is going to try and hunt me down."

Rayne didn't answer right away. Finally she sighed and slid off the table and grabbed her breeches.

He watched her as he grabbed his shirt. "Rayne?" He asked hesitantly.

She had just slipped on her breast band and sighed. She turned to him and gave him a lopsided smile seeing the uneasiness in his eyes. "I'm not angry at you, Cullen. I'm frustrated with the situation and the interruptions."

She continued to dress quickly. He simply stood there holding his shirt as he watched her.

She went over to her desk and tugged on her boots. She finally looked up at him and smirked. "You better get dressed. You're needed for this apparently life or death meeting. You know, unless you w _ant_  to go bare chested. I wouldn't complain."

He shrugged but began pulling on his shirt. "I figured you should go first and I'll come ten minutes later."

"Afraid someone will see us together?" She teased.

He looked at her and gave a lopsided smile as he grabbed his boots and tugged them on. "I would like to keep my… our private affairs, private."

She shrugged. "As you wish." She rose from her chair and went to a basin and washed her hands. "You may want to do the same. You got a bit messier than I did." She said playfully.

He smiled and came up behind her. He wrapped his hands around her waist and kissed the back of her neck. "And enjoyed every moment of it."

She chuckled as she dried her hands and turned in his embrace. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Well, this interruption just means we get to continue this at a later time."

He was expecting to finally get a kiss, but when he leaned closer for one she slipped out of his embrace and headed to the door. He watched her go in bewilderment.

"I'll see you soon, Commander."

* * *

* * *

 

She entered the War Room glaring daggers at Cassandra.

Alec was speaking with Leliana and Josephine. When he heard her enter, he looked up and smiled apologetically. "I had told Cassandra this could wait a short time for you to finish whatever you were doing."

Cassandra made her trademark disgusted noise. "We are not here to revolve around her schedule, Inquisitor."

Before Rayne could say anything Alec frowned and a hard glint came to his eyes.

"Stop making it sound like this happens all the time, Cassandra." He snapped. Which caused Cassandra's eyes to widen in surprise. "I would have been perfectly content with resting a bit before reporting. It had been a long journey from the Emerald Graves, and I am not in the mood for your fucking antics."

Rayne raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. It showed how tired and stressed Alec was that he would snap like that at someone.

Cassandra clenched her jaw and gave a nod. "By your leave, Inquisitor." She said tensely.

Not waiting for anyone's permission she spun about at made for the exit, nearly running into Cullen in the process.

He stood near the door and watched her leave. He turned back to the others questions in his eyes. "What did I miss?"

Alec rubbed the back of his neck. "Nothing. A disagreement." He did a double take on the Commander and smirked in amusement. "Well, this is a first."

Rayne leaned against one of the far walls, watching the exchange.

Cullen frowned in confusion. "What?"

Leliana giggled. "Your hair is rather… unruly, Commander."

He blinked a few times and brought his hands to his hair.

Rayne contained the urge to laugh, but couldn't help the smile as she noticed him try to find a story.

"I… I had fallen asleep in the garden."

Josephine frowned and tilted her head. "Fell asleep? In the middle of the day?"

Yes, it was something that sounded very out of character for Cullen.

Rayne noticed Alec's lip twitch as he hid a smile as his eyes ticked back and forth between her and Cullen. "Our Commander doesn't get a lot of sleep." He offered. "It is only natural that his body can only take so much fatigue before even he succumbs."

Cullen nodded. "It won't happen again, Inquisitor." He came to his respective spot at the War Table.

"Oh, don't stop on my account, Commander." Alec said pleasantly.

Cullen just gave him a baffled look before the meeting began.

Alec shot Rayne a small smirk with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

 **So much for wanting to keep this private.**  She thought in amusement.

* * *

Rayne stretched as she exited the room. She had stayed behind to talk with Alec about the Wardens. Everyone else had long since gone.

She waved to Josephine as she passed the Ambassador at her desk.

Instead of going through the main hall of the keep and have to deal with all the pomp of the nobles milling about, she chose instead to go down the stairs into the cellars.

Her footfalls echoed as she made it to the main chamber that had yet to be filled with anything. Which was fine for Rayne. It was a quiet place, one of the few in Skyhold.

She sighed and began making her way to the other end where the kitchens were.

Half way through the room and hand grabbed her and pulled her back.

Rayne caught herself from screaming in surprise. She balled a fist and swung around.

Cullen stood behind her with an amused smile on his face as his eyes ticked down to her hand.

She released the pent up breath and glared. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

He tilted his head. "I didn't think you were going to try and punch me." He said in amusement.

She shook her head. "You should." She said softly.

His amused smile fell from his face. "I-I'm sorry. You're right, I should…" He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "So much for me pleasantly surprising you." He grumbled.

She gave him a lopsided smile. "Don't worry about it. Just… be careful next time."

He tried to smile and then took a deep breath. "I still should have known better."

She gave him her best smoldering smile. "You may have to make it up to me then."

He searched her eyes just briefly, trying to see if she had truly forgiven his blunder. A slow smile came to his face and he came closer. "Well, that was my intent to begin with." He paused and shook his head. "Well, a make up for something else."

She just watched him tilting her head. "Oh?"

He pushed her gently back until her back hit the wall. He leaned in close.

She felt the familiar pit in her stomach at him bringing his face so close to hers.  **Why does he keep trying?**  She thought in dismay.

But he didn't try kissing her again. Instead he leaned his body close to hers. "As I recall, you said something about continuing where we left off."


	37. Amell

Rayne watched as Alec and Dorian cast their joined spell in the library. She smiled as she saw their eyes lock. She could practically cut the sexual tension with a knife.

**Good to know Bull and I aren't the only ones.**  She thought in amusement thinking of Cullen. Ever since they had started sleeping together a week prior he had been insatiable. Which was perfectly fine with her. It had been far too long since she had been with anyone, and she had definitely missed it. The fact that Cullen was a new treat to her was a bonus. The things he did to her… were mind blowing to say the least. Things she never would have expected from militant Cullen.

After a few heart beats, Alec and Dorian released their spell in a cascade of colors.

Dorian took a step closer to Alec. "Well done, _Amatus_." He said softly.

Amatus was a Tevene term of endearment.

Alec took Dorian's hips in his hand and brought his face to the Tevinter's. "I had a good teacher." He breathed as he kissed the other man.

Rayne politely diverted her gaze as Dorian began to wrap his arms around Alec.

After about a minute they finally release one another.

Dorian blushed remembering she was there. "That… must have been awkward for you."

She shrugged. "Not in the least." She smiled warmly. "You're forgetting I'm Ferelden. We don't condemn love here. No matter its form."

Alec smiled and gave Dorian a sidelong look.

"It's adorable." She teased.

Dorian gave a dramatic sigh. "I know I am."

Rayne shook her head. Over the last couple months at Skyhold Dorian had grown on her, which shocked and amazed her. She was becoming friends with a Tevinter mage.  **Ah, if only more magisters were like him.**  She mused. Alas it was much like how there weren't many blood mages like her.

Dorian studied her. "Oh, yes. The whole purpose you are here watching our love-fest?"

"Other than watching the sweetness that is enough to make my teeth rot?" She teased. "I was wondering if you could help me with information concerning a magister."

He raised an eyebrow. "Next target on your kill list?"

She chuckled. "Oh no, that list is practically done. I had a busy four years dead. This magister is an alchemist." She gave Dorian all the information on the man.

Dorian rubbed his chin in thought. "Yes, I know the man. Brilliant and oft times insane. But brilliant more often than naught."

"So, he's reliable?" She asked.

He nodded. "If you like I can send anything you may need to him. He's always looking to find new things to get his hands on."

Rayne tapped her thigh and nibbled on her lower lip. "Hmm. I was actually thinking of paying him a personal visit."

Both Alec and Dorian started.

"You do realize he's in Tevinter, yes?" Dorian said.

"Yes. I'm well aware of that fact."

Alec scowled. "Absolutely not."

She raised an eyebrow. "Come again? Last I checked I volunteered to be here. I do have things I'm working on outside of the Inquisition. If you're going to try and keep me from that…"

Alec flushed. "I didn't mean for that to come out like it did." He held out his hands. "Rayne, we're not on the best of terms with Tevinter right now. Going actually into Venatori territory? Enemies could be hiding anywhere."

"My Dear, Inquisitor. It's Tevinter. Everyone is an enemy there. Long before Corypheus showed up."

Dorian chuckled. "She has a point, Amatus."

Alec shot him a glare. "You're not helping." He turned back to Rayne. "Why not talk to the Arcanist that arrived today?"

She tilted her head. "An arcanist is here?"

He nodded. "Arrived this morning. Been setting up in the Undercroft I'm told."

"You haven't met him then?"

"Her." Dorian interjected and smirked. "And from what I hear is an interesting character."

"That could be good or bad."

He smiled. "Too true. I mean, look at me?"

Rayne gave him a lopsided smile.

He gave her an incredulous look. "Thanks." He said sarcastically.

Alec shook his head with an amused look on his face. "I'll go with you." He turned to Dorian. "I'll see you later?"

Dorian's eyes softened. "But of course."

Alec motioned for Rayne to lead the way.

She finally spoke as the descended the stairs. "I'm happy for you, Alec."

He chuckled. "Even if he is a Tevinter?"

Rayne shrugged. "If more Vints were like him I wouldn't hate them so much."

He smiled.

They stopped once they reached the rotunda and watched Solas on a scaffold.

The elf stood as far back as he could to look over his latest fresco. "What do you think?" He called to them.

Rayne and Aiden exchanged glances and approached.

Rayne studied it.

In the center was a tall shadowy figure with something like looked like an orb in the center of its body surrounded by green and two hands. At the bottom was something that looked like a temple in flames. The starts of mountains were in the background.

"The attack at Haven?" Rayne asked.

Solas turned and looked down at her and smiled. "Indeed." He motioned to the others. "Have you figured out the others yet?"

One was in colors of oranges and browns. A small mountain at the bottom with a beam of light shooting into the sky meeting a black dome with was looked like a small city in the center; around it where at least two dozen eyes.

"Sealing of the Breach." She pointed to the small city. "The Black City in the Fade?"

Solas nodded.

She turned to the next. This one had a tall sword of silver with the eye of the Inquisition at the top and two howling wolfs on either side.

"Forming of the Inquisition?" Alec offered.

"Very good Inquisitor." Solas said and began climbing down.

"And recruiting the mages." Rayne said nodding at the last. She frowned. "I see wolves are a common theme."

The elf tilted his head. "I thought having a wolf companion you would have an appreciation for wolves."

"I do. I just don't understand why they are in these paintings."

Solas shrugged. "Perhaps I view the Inquisitor and us of the inner circle as a pack of wolves."

She thought a moment. "Hmm, I guess I can see that."

He turned to Alec. "Where are you two off to?"

"To see Arcanist Dagna."

Rayne frowned. "Dagna?

Alec nodded. "That's her name."

She shook her head and spun around heading for the Undercroft. "It can't be…" she murmured.

"Rayne?" Alec called and rushed after her.

Rayne wove her way through the dignitaries that always crowded the main hall. She caught Alec and Solas out of the corner of her eye following.

The Undercroft was a massive underground cavern with a stunning view out a massive opening at the far end behind a waterfall. If it wasn't for the fact that it wasn't so blighted cold during the winter, Rayne would have loved it. Harritt had been quick about setting up the smithy there, everything he had and then some from Haven was spaced throughout the cavern with fire pits near the entrance.

Harritt turned to the trio when they entered. He raised an eyebrow and brought his eyes to Alec. "Inquisitor?"

Alec nodded in greeting. "The Arcanist has arrived?"

Harritt's lip twitch in a smirk and motioned behind him. "You should see for yourself."

Raising an eyebrow Alec ventured further in.

Rayne and Solas exchanged glances and waited.

"Hello there!" A rather chipper voice said from below.

Rayne went to the top of the steps and looked down.

Alec tilted his head to their newest addition. "You're the magical advisor?" He asked in surprise.

Rayne didn't blame him. The Arcanist… their magical advisor… was a dwarven woman. She had her dark red hair in a top bun. She came up to Alec's chest, causing her to have to step back and look up. Her dark green eyes widened at him.

It was no doubt odd to Alec that a dwarf was their magical advisor. No doubt he was thinking they would be a mage. As a general rule, dwarves couldn't be mages because they have no natural connection to the Fade, because they could not dream.

Rayne studied the dwarf closely but stayed where she was.

"Ooh, you're him." Dagna said in wonder. "The Inquisitor. I'm Dagna.  _Arcanist_ Dagna. It's an honor, Your Worship." Her eyes went down to Alec hand, and if Rayne thought her eyes couldn't get any bigger, she was proven wrong. "Is that it? The hand-anchor-mark? It's pretty."

Alec raised an eyebrow with a look of uneasiness on his face.

Dagna smiled. "The Breach was pretty, too. In a… 'destroy everything' sort of way." She laughed.

"You're… not quite what I was expecting. You're a dwarven 'arcanist'?" Alec asked in doubt.

Dagna smiled. "The only one!" She said rather proudly. "When you learn things everyone says you can't, you get to be first!" She chuckled. "I don't need to tell  _you._  I've looked at Harritt's devices. The precision is fantastic, but typical. Mundane. Old thinking!"

Harritt bristled. "It's what now?"

Dagna looked to him sheepishly. "No disrespect meant to the classical trades!" She said quickly and turned back to Alec. "But  _you_  need a new perspective. I've made adjustments. As long as I  _keep_  making them, you can craft just about anything. Almost safely!"

**Almost?**  Rayne thought in amusement as she quietly and slowly walked down the staircase. Judging by Alec's face he was thinking the same thing.

"Where does a dwarf go to study magical theory?" Alec asked.

Dagna snorted. "Get out! I asked myself that question for years. Turns out,  _not_ in Orzammar. I had to start at a Circle."

Rayne stood behind Dagna and crossed her arms.

Alec's eyes ticked up to her briefly before turning back to the dwarf.

"I had help, though." Dagna continued. "A Grey Warden," She smiled wistfully. "And I am forever grateful. With sanction, I visited a half-dozen Circles."

Alec's eyes twinkled in amusement.

"The wonders I have seen!" Dagna exclaimed. "And with an objective eye, I can spot where they overlap. That's a surprise for every teacher! It's a grand tradition, and it works so well with new thinking!"

Alec smiled. "You mentioned a Grey Warden who helped you start your studies?"

Dagna nodded. "Not any Grey Warden,  _The_  Grey Warden. The Hero of Ferelden is a hero in Orzammar, too! It's incredible that someone like the Hero of Ferelden would stop to help the little people. Literally." She giggled.

Rayne finally smiled. Now she remembered. It was a chaotic time in Orzammar when she visited, but she recalled the bubbly dwarven girl that had drawn her attention. She remembered how Dagna wanted nothing more than to go to the Circle Tower to study magical theory; she was willing to give up her family and caste for it. Dagna was hoping, at the time, that Rayne could maybe deliver her request to the First Enchanter. Rayne had convinced Irving of the valuable knowledge Dagna could bring to the Circle and she believed Dagna could learn a great deal.

Alec was trying to hide his amusement. "The Warden affected you in a special way."

"Talk to anyone, they'll say the same." A little bit of her mirth left. "It was a dark time. There was one light. She saved us. She saved me."

Rayne tilted her head. "I don't know about that. Not many people were happy with me putting Bhelen on the throne."

Dagna jumped and spun around. Her eyes widened. "Its… it's you!"

Rayne smiled. "It's good to see you again, Dagna. I'm glad you were able to fulfill your dreams. At least I got one thing right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tevene Translations:
> 
> _Amatus_ : Love


	38. Cullen

He grunted as he blocked another swing against his wooden practice shield and pushed against the wooden broad sword that had hit it.

Bull grunted and stepped back. "All right. This isn't going anywhere." He said in good humor.

Cullen lowered his shield and caught his breath before smiling. "I think Rayne was right, we're too evenly matched."

Bull chuckled and swung his practice sword over one of his broad shoulders. "Still makes for a great work out though. Nothing like a good fight to get the blood pumping for the ladies in bed."

Cullen shook his head and removed his shield.

The quartermaster rushed to grab up their wooden weapons. Ser Morris shook his head. "I think you two need to go back to weaponless combat, at this rate we won't have anything for the recruits to practice with."

Cullen chuckled. "Noted." He grabbed his water skin and watched Morris go back to his office.

Bull came to his side and grabbed his own skin and pulled the cork out with his teeth. "You seem in a good mood here lately."

Cullen raised an eyebrow. "I'm not usually?" He took a drink.

The Qunari shrugged. "There's a good mood and then there is a  _good mood._ " He grinned. "Something tells me you've found a lady… or man. Don't rightly know what you're into."

"Women." He leaned against the fence post. "And maybe I have." He went to take another drink but Bull's hand smacking his back nearly made him topple over.

"Good on you! I was beginning to think I was going to have to pay one of the girls to sneak into your bed one of these nights."

Cullen turned to him. "You wouldn't have."

Bull smirk. "Maybe."

Cullen sighed.

"But see, no need. I knew all it would take to loosen you up as a good roll around the sack."

Cullen chuckled. He wasn't going to dispute it. He actually agreed. He hadn't felt this good in a long time, it didn't matter that he still had a hard time staying asleep because of the nightmares. But he fell asleep easier.

Every night for the last week Rayne had come to him in his study. She always was managing to find an excuse to come see him. After the first time he took her on his desk he had made a point of not having it as cluttered to avoid major clean up afterwards of papers. And some days she came during the day when she could catch him in a lull between the runners and soldiers that seemed to constantly be coming through his office.

He suppressed the smile that threatened to come to his face as he thought back to a couple days prior when she had come during the day right after a messenger had delivered a correspondence he had been waiting for. He had initially tried to work, but when she stripped in front of his desk and straddled him in his chair he completely forgot about the work he had.

She had barely unlaced him and began stroking his hard shaft when sharp knocking interrupted them. Rayne rushed to pick up her clothing and hid under his desk knowing she didn't have enough time to climb the ladder to his bedroom. Cullen had barely enough time to push himself into the desk to cover his cock before another messenger came in with a report from Rylen.

Rayne hadn't been merciful. He had barely suppressed a moan as he felt her mouth slip over the head of his cock. He was practically biting his fist as her tongue licked along the underside of his shaft making it impossible to concentrate on the report being read to him. It took all of his self-control to not just order the messenger to leave when she began bobbing her head up and down his cock.

Pay back was a bitch, he had thought later. But by the Maker, it was fantastic.

His happiness faltered. Even though she came to him every night, she never stayed. Something he found baffling. And then he added in the fact that she avoided kissing him.

Their first time together he had just written it off that she was teasing him. But the more they were together and his attempts being evaded, he realized she was intentionally avoiding his kiss.

He gave Bull a sidelong look wondering if he should broach this. If anyone at Skyhold could point Cullen in the right direction with what he was doing wrong, no doubt the Qunari would know.

"Can I ask you something, Bull?" He finally asked as he grabbed two towels and handed one to Bull.

He shrugged. "Sure." He draped the towel around his neck.

Cullen ran the towel through his hair as he gathered his thoughts. "Is it… a bad thing when a woman… avoids kissing you?"

Bull raised an eyebrow. "Bad? I guess it all depends on the woman or situation." He studied Cullen a moment. "Have you ever been with a prostitute?"

Cullen felt the heat come to his face. "I… I, uh."

Bull chuckled. "That gives me my answer. When you were with that woman, did she ever kiss you?"

Cullen frowned in thought remembering back to Kirkwall. "Not that… I recall. But it has been a few years."

Bull wiped the towel on the back of his neck. "Most prostitutes avoid kissing. Do you know why?"

Cullen shrugged.

"So they don't get attached."

He frowned. "What do you mean?" Cullen felt slightly like a fool that this wasn't something he didn't already know.

Bull pursed his lips in thought. "Kissing is a too personal of thing. It can lead to a real relationship. Whereas sex can just be sex." He grinned. "That's what I do. Pop my cork whenever I need it."

Cullen diverted his gaze as a pain swelled in his chest. Was that all this was to Rayne?

An old memory came to him. He was still a loyal Templar Knight-Captain at his usual post in the Gallows. It was a common thing to see The Champion come to the Gallows for one reason or another, especially after he had defeated the Arishok and had gained the title of 'Champion'.

And more often than not, Rayne accompanied him. Even though she hated it there. But of all Hawke's mage companions, she was in the least danger of being taken by Meredith.

Hawke was in a heated discussion with a vendor, so Rayne and Fenris stood a short distance away from him to let him do whatever he needed.

Cullen had been close enough to over hear a portion of their conversation as they waited. But it was one bit that he remembered now:

 **_"_ ** **_You knew what this was when we started, Fenris." Rayne said in hushed whispers. She turned her blue eyes on the elf. "I told you that I couldn't love you. That hasn't changed." She looked away and in a quieter voice said, "I doubt I could love anyone again."_ **

Is that still how she felt? Was Bull right and all this was, was just sex?

And if it was, could Cullen live with just that? There were no doubts, Cullen cared deeply for Rayne. He had since the days of him a simple Knight and her an apprentice in the Circle. He had even said the three most powerful words he knew to her once; the same day she was taken from the Tower to join the Wardens.

He had loved her. He still did.

Could he have nothing but a sexual relationship with the woman he loved? He knew that if he couldn't he would lose her. He knew she cared for him, but was it as deep as what he felt? Could he get her to relent to those feelings?

He didn't want to be like Alistair and push her to the point where it pushed her away. Cullen still didn't know what transpired when Alistair had visited. But he knew enough of Alistair and Rayne's history to know that the king hadn't let go. The question was: had Rayne? Had she been finally able to let go of her love for Alistair? Cullen knew that was what kept her from allowing her to love Fenris in Kirkwall.

Cullen knew that even if Rayne did still love Alistair, she would never be with him again. Not so long as he was king.

Was that why she was keeping what Cullen and she had as nothing but sex?

Doubt and misery began to seep into his mind and heart as all this ran through his head in just a few seconds.

Bull felt his shift in mood and smacked him on the shoulder. "Hey! Don't worry about it. It's not such a bad thing. Continue what you got until you find the girl that will have little Cullens with you." He teased.

 **That's the thing.**  He thought miserably.  **I don't want another woman.**  He was shaken from his dark thoughts as the pounding of running feet approached from behind.

Both he and Bull turned to see Alec racing down the stairs from the main hall.

"Hey Boss! Want to have a go?"

Alec shook his head and looked to Cullen. "You have to talk some sense into her!"

Cullen frowned. "Who? What are you talking about?"

"Rayne. She's planning on leaving for Tevinter."

* * *

He took the stairs two at a time as he rushed to her chambers.  **What is she thinking?**  He thought hotly. He hadn't even cleaned up or changed into clean clothes. When Alec had told him of Rayne's daft plan he had thrown on his shirt and boots and rushed to her quarters ignoring the giggling of the noble ladies as he passed. He could only imagine what he looked like.

When he reached the top Cullen found the door closed. He pounded on the heavy door wincing slightly as he realized how hard he hit it.

"Try  _not_  breaking down my door, Commander." Rayne's voice called from within. "And you can come in as long as you're not troubled about the possibility of being caught in an explosion."

Cullen hesitated a moment and then pushed inside.

The table that usually had all her maps and documents were cleared away. In their place were small vials either empty or filled with components, tools of varying sorts, a wooden bowl and a grinder and an alcohol burner.

"Shut the door please." Rayne said not looking at him as she measured red liquid out of a vial.

He frowned and shut the door and locked it.

"Excessive don't you think?" She asked lightly as she deposited the red liquid into a flask that had a small amount lyrium powder at the base.

"What is this I hear that you want to go to Tevinter?" He skipped any pleasantries.

"I see Alec went to you." She said dryly. She mixed the lyrium in the flask, the mineral drank in the red liquid turning it a vibrant purple.

"So it's true then? Why didn't you come to me?"

She sighed and set down her concoction and finally looked at him. "I didn't think I had to run everything I did with you." She smirked in amusement. "I love this disheveled look. Very sexy."

He gritted his teeth. "Don't try to distract me, Rayne, from the fact that you're planning a suicide mission."

She rolled her eyes and put a cork in the vial she had just filled and placed it gently in a leather pouch. "That's a little extreme, don't you think?" She picked up an empty vial and began pouring in lyrium powder.

Cullen had a hard time dragging his eyes away from the powder back to her face. "No, it's not."

"It's not the first time I've been to Tevinter." She said dryly as she measured out an electric blue liquid.

"That was before we had Venatori to worry about."

She sighed in annoyance. "You and Alec, I swear. Tevinter was hardly safe  _before_ , nothing has changed."

"Except now they could capture you and try to leverage you to the Inquisition." He growled.

She poured the liquid into the lyrium vial and looked to him. "So, don't let them." She said deadpan and turned to stir her concoction.

Cullen just stared at her. "You… can't be serious? Just allow you to remain in Tevinter hands? You're too important!"

Rayne put a cork in the vial and put it in with the other one. She braced her hands against the table and looked at him. "Important to the Inquisition or you?"

"Both."

She shook her head and tied off her pouch. She turned away from him and went to her bookshelf. "I shouldn't be. On either count." She said with her back turned to him as she placed the pouch on the shelf.

Cullen's heart fell. He quickly covered up his pain as she turned back around to him. "I can't care for a friend?" He forced out, proud that he was able to keep his voice steady as if nothing were wrong.

Rayne studied him and shook her head. Finally she gave him a smile. "Of course. I just…"

He waited.

"It doesn't matter." She approached him. "I've already discussed this with Leliana, she's not anymore happy about it than you are. But she won't stop me. Will you?"

Cullen studied her. He sighed in defeat. "No." he said softly. He stood straighter. "But I will be joining you."

Rayne blinked at him. "You'll be doing what now?"

"You heard me. I can't in good conscience let you go into enemy territory alone."

She shook her head. "Uh, I may not be important to the Inquisition, but you  _definitely_  are. Your place is here."

He shrugged. "Doing what? Right now there is nothing for us to do except play the waiting game for Hawke and Stroud." He tilted his head. "Why are you even going anyway?"

"To find an alchemist for a Grey Warden matter."

Cullen smiled. "See? I should go then."

Rayne rolled her eyes. "A Warden matter that doesn't concern the Inquisition." She paused. "Well… maybe."

He gave her a lopsided smile. He placed a gentle hand on her arm. "Please, Rayne. For my sanity? Let me come with you. I may not take lyrium anymore, but I still can use Templar abilities. If I can help get you safely in and out of Tevinter, let me. Besides, I'm sure Aiden would never forgive me if he found out I let you go alone."

Rayne groaned. "No fair using the puppy dog eyes." She wiped her hands down her face in frustration. "Fine."

His smile widened.

" _But_ , only if Alec lets you go."


	39. Amell

She groaned as she arrived at the stables with a pack thrown over her shoulder. "No. Absolutely not."

Cullen stood beside his horse in his full armor as he finished securing his pack. "Don't look at me." He said over his shoulder to her. "It wasn't my idea."

Alec was leaning against the stable with his horse ready and in his traveling gear. "Hey, I can go where I please. I figure there is no place safer than at the sides of the Inquisition's greatest General and the Warden Commander."

"In the middle of Tevinter." She said dryly as she went to the pin that housed Elgar and Ghost when they were in Skyhold.

"If you can do it, why not me?" Alec quipped.

Rayne sighed as she knelt and rubbed her hand through Ghost's fur. "Hey Old Man." She said softly.

Ghost looked up at her with bleary, slightly milky eyes.

"I'd like it noted," Cullen said coming in behind her with humor in his voice. "That you started this."

"Noted." She said softly, continuing to pet her wolf.

Cullen came beside her and knelt. He stretched his gloved hand to Ghost who gave it a lick in welcome. "He's not looking so good today." He said softly.

"No, he's not."

"What are you going to do?"

Rayne didn't answer right away. "I wish I knew." Her voice cracked with emotion. Ghost was more than just some pet or companion. He was family. He had been there at her side through the toughest parts of her life, his loyalty and love never faltered. "I need to come to a decision while we're gone."

Cullen placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and squeezed it in comfort. "If you need anything… anything at all."

She nodded and took a deep breath and rose. She turned and called, "Blackwall?"

There was a clatter and some cursing as response.

Rayne winced but waited.

After a few moments the elder Warden stepped out of the stables. "Yes?"

"Is there any chance I can convince you to bring Ghost meat while we're gone?" She looked down again at the wolf. "I fear he won't be able to go hunting on his own."

Blackwall came to the stall where Ghost lay and looked down, his face sad. "Aye, I can do that, m'lady."

Rayne smiled at him. "Thank you. And please stop calling me that, will you?" She motioned to Elgar.

The saber stretched his long body and sauntered out the gate.

Blackwall chuckled. "Old habits."

"You know what they say about old dogs." Cullen put in lightly as he rose from the ground, giving Ghost one final pat on the head. "I'm still trying to learn new tricks."

She gave him a smoldering smile.  **You don't have to learn that many new tricks.**  She thought.

Cullen tilted his head at her in confusion. And then his cheeks began to turn red as if reading her thoughts. "I… uh, will be waiting with the horses."

Rayne chuckled as he went back out.

Blackwall smiled in amusement and shook his head. He turned his attention back to her. "You have nothing to worry about, m'lady. I'll make sure Ghost is well taken care of in your absence." He frowned and crossed his arms. "Can't say I'm pleased with you going though."

She looked back out to Cullen and Alec as they spoke. "I won't be alone."

* * *

Thanks to connections through Leliana they were able to find secret passage across the Waking Sea from Jader to Cumberland. They had wanted to avoid the road through Val Royeaux, too many people knew Alec's face now.

Along the way they were still able to be of benefit to the Inquisition by sealing rifts and killing demons. But once they got to higher populated areas in Nevarra they held off from drawing too much attention to themselves. Luckily not many knew what the Inquisitor or the Hero of Ferelden looked like. But they took precautions to hide their affiliation to the Inquisition, such as dressing as simple commoners. Something that Rayne knew made Cullen twitch, he felt vulnerable without his armor, and only put a little at ease that he could still carry is sword without drawing attention to himself.

Rayne and Alec did all they could to hide the fact that they were mages. Rayne went as far as to cast a glamour on her face to hide the lyrium brands. It was easier to simply change its color to black to hide the fact they were lyrium instead of just ink. So long as she didn't tap into the magic in them, no one would be the wiser.

They had a more difficult time sending messages back to Skyhold. Leliana had made sure they understood to send word at least once a week to let her know they were alive and safe using a code system she invented. If they didn't she would have no qualms sending people into Tevinter to get them.

Four weeks after they had left Skyhold they now sat in cave near its mouth outside the border into Tevinter on the northern side of the Silent Plains, from there it was another week at the most to Minrathous on the Imperial Highway, the Tevinter capital that sat at the edge of the Nocen Sea.

Rayne lounged against Elgar who slept behind her. She felt the rhythm of his heartbeat at her back. She listened to the soft scrape of stone against metal as Alec sharpened the small dagger he had managed to win from the one of the crew members on the ship they had been carried to Nevarra on.

"I'm just saying you seemed to fit in quite well with them." Alec said continuing their conversation. He grinned at her. "Have a bit of pirate in you?"

She laughed. "I did at one point."

Alec's eyes widened.

"You asked." She said in delight at his reaction.

His grin widened. "Oh  _this_  I have to hear."

A groan came from the side. "Please don't."

Rayne turned and looked to Cullen with concern.

For the last few days he had seemed in pain. But he always shrugged it off. Tonight he sat on a rock hanging his head while massaging his temples with a grimace on his face. His face had more stubble on it than usual and the circles under his eyes seemed darker.

Alec looked to her with worry in his eyes. He had seen the same things.

"Cullen…" Rayne said softly. "Can I do anything to help?"

He took a deep breath and looked up at her giving her a strained smile. "It's all right." He stood from his spot. "I'm going to take a walk, maybe it will help."

Rayne hesitated and then nodded.

Cullen took a burning piece of wood from their fire and went deeper into the cavern.

"The withdrawal is getting worse it seems." Alec said softly once Cullen's form vanished in the darkness.

Rayne turned to him. "I can only imagine being on the road has hindered his sleep more than usual." She shook her head. "I shouldn't have let him come."

Alec gave her a soft smile. "Rayne, I doubt you could have kept him from coming."

"I could have had you order him to stay at Skyhold." She grumbled.

He chuckled. "And then I probably would have lost my General. I have no doubts he would have left no matter what I ordered." He tilted his head. "You seem to think his military obligation to me and the Inquisition is more important than his protectiveness of you. When in truth: you will always come first."

Rayne frowned and turned her head back to the shadows of the cavern.


	40. Cullen

He groaned as he relaxed his body into the steaming waters going deep enough into the pools where he could sit and the water could lap at the back of his head. Cullen hoped that the heat would help the headache.

His eye lids drooped feeling heavy from the headache and lack of sleep. The cavern had no light other than the soft blue-green glow that came from the deep mushrooms scattered around the edges of the chamber. The lack of light was already helping his strained eyes.

Cullen blinked to keep his eyes open, he didn't want to fall asleep, but the lull of the water and the heat that relieved the tension in his muscles made it difficult.

Finally he gave up the struggle and closed his eyes and fell into a meditative state.

He wasn't sure how long he was in that state when the skitter of a stone across the cavern floor jolted him. His eyes burst open and he spun around to grab his sword. His hand was about on his sword that lay on the ground near him when his came eye to eye with familiar boots.

Cullen's eyes drifted up long legs until he found Rayne's blue eyes filled with amusement.

"Did you honestly think any hostile would be able to get in here without going through Alec and me? More importantly, get back here without you hearing anything?" Rayne asked.

Cullen released his pent up breath. "You never know."

Her smile fell. "How are you feeling?"

He clenched his jaw and turned back around. "Every day you've been asking me that. And every day I tell you the same thing."

"And every day you've been lying to me." She waited for him to say something. When he didn't she continued. "Cullen…"

"Don't." He growled. "It's just a headache." He laid back into the water and tried to relax again.

"You're angry with me." Rayne said softly.

"I'm just tired of being coddled." He said. Which was partially true.

He heard Rayne move behind him, he wasn't sure what she was doing. "I'm not trying to coddle you, Cullen. I'm worried about a friend who is in pain." Her voice was closer which told him she was now sitting on the ground behind him.

 **Friend.**  He thought bitterly.

"I told you I was here if you needed."

Cullen sighed. "I know." He said softly. "Honestly, I don't know what you could do other be moral support."

"Well, I could do this." She said.

"Do what…"

Rayne's fingers were on both his temples and began slowly massaging them in small circles. Her fingers were slightly callused from her wielding weapons, nothing like his own.

Cullen let out a small moan of pleasure at the feeling and closed his eyes. The longer she continued his body relaxed more causing him to drift off. He wasn't even aware she had stopped until he felt her straddling his waist.

He slowly opened his eyes and found himself lost in her clear blue ones. The glow from the deep mushrooms gave her an ethereal appearance. Most of her naked body was hidden underneath the black pool, her breasts just barely visible. She slowly wove her fingers through his hair that was no doubt curly from the humidity in the cavern. She leaned forward causing her breasts to brush his chest as she tilted his head up and laid a gentle kiss on his forehead, so soft that it felt like a feather.

Cullen wrapped his arms around her small waist and they traveled up her back as she pulled back and he rested his forehead on her collar bone. He closed his eyes as she continued to massage his head, listening to the sound of her heartbeat.

 **Maker's Breath.**  He thought to himself.  **I shouldn't be letting her do this.**  Cullen had been purposely trying to keep his distance from her since they began their journey, trying to think about the current state of… whatever it was between them.  **But, Maker, she is hard to resist. She always has been…**

He remembered the similar dilemma he faced when they were at the Circle. He remembered how hard he tried to keep away from her at first. He also remembered how badly he had finally failed at it.

The steam from the pools seemed to make the scent of spice on her skin from her soap even stronger with the subtle hints of berry. It was intoxicating and enveloped him. Between the massage and the scent, he felt his headache lessen. It wasn't completely gone, but it wasn't as pounding as it once was. Perhaps her mere presence played a factor as well.

Before he could control his actions, he found himself kissing her collar bone gently, grazing his teeth against her soft wet skin. He felt her heartbeat quicken under his hands. He pressed his forehead against her again and groaned at himself as his cock became hard.  **I shouldn't be doing this.**  He thought again.

Rayne buried her face in his hair and kissed it. "Cullen." She breathed.

How was it that something as simple as her saying his name could make him weak?

No doubt feeling his eagerness with his hard cock against her, Rayne just barely brushed against him making the head of his cock briefly tease at her lips.

A growl escaped him that was deep in his throat, sounding more primal than it should have. His hands gripped harder on her back.

Rayne began to slowly grind against him. So tantalizingly slow. His cock hardening every time her lower lips teased it. He heard her breathing becoming quicker.

The last of his resolve gave away as he shifted, causing her to slide more over his cock. The head entered her folds, lying against her clitoris.

Rayne took a quick intake of breath and increased her grinding, moaning softly as each movement played with her clit.

Cullen held her chest close to him. He buried his face in her breasts, grazing his teeth against her tender flesh. He finally pulled away enough to take one of her perfectly fitting breasts in his hand and brought it up out of the water. He wrapped his mouth around the nipple and sucked gently at first until he elicited a moan from her. Her moan caused him to bite sharply and pull on the nipple now causing her to cry out in a mix on pain and pleasure.

He slid his hands down to her ass and lifted her. He managed to move his legs underneath him all the while keeping Rayne in his lap. Being on his knees with her in his lap caused their faces to be closer together, their eyes stayed lock on each other, their shallow breaths mingled for a heartbeat before Cullen rose from the hot water and sat her on the edge of the pool.

Rayne crawled backwards never taking her eyes away from his. Her wet body glistened with a blue-green glow.

Cullen lifted himself out of the pool and followed her. When she stopped crawling, he continued to crawl over her until she was completely under him. Rayne's hands traveled up from his hips to the small of his back. He brought his mouth down to her neck, kissing and biting down to her shoulder.

 **I may not be able to have your mouth.** He thought to himself.  **But mine can claim the rest of you.**

Rayne groaned into his ear. The sound made his cock throb.

Cullen kissed back up her neck to her ear. "Do you want it?" He said in a husky voice and bit her earlobe.

Rayne whimpered. "Yes." She said weakly.

"Tell me." He kissed under her ear causing her body to tremble under him.

"Maker preserve me." She breathed.

Cullen smiled to himself. She may not be the religious sort, but she had no qualms in invoking the Maker when she was angry or frustrated. "Tell me."

"Fuck me already."

Cullen pulled himself up toward her head so that his pelvis was slightly higher on her body than was usual, sliding slowly inside her relishing the feel of the walls inside of her constrict around his cock. Instead of thrusting in and out, he focused on grinding, allowing him to rub against her clit.

Rayne moaned in pleasure and her nails dug into his back as he went faster feeling her walls tighten around him.

Cullen bit her breast making her cry out and dig her nails deeper into his back. He moaned deep in his throat and licked the area he had just bitten.

"Cullen…" She whimpered. "Fuck me. Fuck me hard. I want you to come with me."

He rose to his knees and slid her body up his thighs and thrust hard into her. Rayne threw her head back and cried out his name. He pounded into her hard and fast moaning her name under his breath as he felt her walls constrict again. Cullen slid a finger to her clit, moving it in sync with his thrusts.

He cried out one last time and fell forward as he thrust as deeply as he could inside of her as he felt and heard her reach her peak. Cullen continued to grind against her as he felt his cock throb inside of her releasing himself, breathing hard and moaning into the nook of her neck.

Cullen felt Rayne's heartbeat that matched his own, their labored breath the only sounds around them. He laid his forehead against her collar bone as he regained his breath and allowed his heart to slow.

Finally he could focus again and his breathing became regular. Cullen slowly slipped out of her and eased off to lie on his back beside her. He winced slightly at the pain in his lower back where her nails had dug. But it was a good pain. He closed his eyes and basked in the afterglow.

Rayne chuckled softly. "There it is."

Cullen opened his eyes and turned his head to her. "There what is?"

She lay on her side using her hand to prop up her head. She leaned forward and traced a finger on his lips. "A smile. I haven't seen a genuine one for weeks."

Cullen grabbed her wrist as she began to pull away and brought her fingers back to his lips. He kissed the tips of each one.

Rayne smiled and moved closer, pressing her body against his.

He watched her as she laid her head on his chest and began tracing a finger through the little hair he had there. "What are you doing?"

"Laying here." She said in amusement. "Listening to your heart. Don't like that?"

"I'm not saying I don't." He said hesitantly. "It's just… about this time is when you're getting dressed and leaving."

Rayne chuckled. "That's when I have my own room I can retreat to. Here it's either here or out at the fire with Alec. But, if you would prefer I will go."

"No." He said quickly. "You don't have to." He laid a hand on her bare shoulder and rubbed his thumb against it. "It was just… different, is all."

Rayne began to hum quietly as she nuzzled closer to him, making herself more comfortable.

Cullen's lips went into a soft smile as he listened. Between the soak he had, the massage, sex and now listening to Rayne, his eyes began to droop from fatigue. It was a good feeling.

He continued to listen to Rayne's song and found himself lulled into sleep.

* * *

Cullen awoke hours later with his heart pounding in his chest. He was in a panic, not remembering where he was.

As the seconds ticked by, his surroundings finally came into focus. Memories from the night came flowing back to him; they slowed down his rapid heartbeat.

Cullen turned his head expecting to find Rayne finally gone. Instead she was rolled on her stomach, using her arms as a pillow. He watched the steady rise and fall of her back that said she was in a deep sleep. Cullen rolled over and gently traced the jagged scars on her back.

Watching her sleep so peacefully brought a smile to his face. Yes, he definitely enjoyed this.

The moment he thought that, Cullen's smile faltered and his fingers stopped on her back. He realized this would be something that would never happen again once they got back to Skyhold. What they had was merely a pleasant distraction from the world, nothing more.

The truth of that finally sunk in, and he tasted bile in the back of his throat. Cullen sat up and looked across the cavern lost deep in thought. Finally he looked back down at the sleeping woman beside him as she murmured in her sleep something unintelligible.

Cullen swallowed past the lump in his throat and shook his head.

As quietly as he could, he rose and went to his pile of clothing and quickly dressed. After getting fully dressed, he ran his fingers through his hair as best as he could to make himself presentable in case the Inquisitor was awake.

Cullen grabbed his sword and made for the passage back out of the cavern to where they made camp. He paused as he passed Rayne and looked down at her one last time, drinking her in as much as he could.

With a final heavy sigh, Cullen exited the cavern, leaving Rayne behind.


	41. Amell/Cullen

Rayne was glad that the next day Cullen had seemed better. He didn't seem in as much pain, he shaved and looked like he got at least some kind of sleep. But he seemed distant, at least when it came to her. He avoided being alone with her for more than a few heartbeats and seemed to have a difficult time looking at her in the eye.

She had been mildly surprised to find Cullen gone the morning after their encounter in the cavern. So, she had thought maybe his uneasiness around her came from encountering Alec afterwards, thinking that perhaps the Inquisitor had maybe said something to Cullen about their absence. But no. Alec wasn't the type; he didn't even bring it up to Rayne when she finally emerged from the cavern.

As much as Rayne wanted to press the issue with Cullen, she never got a chance. Either he avoided speaking to her all together or they were never alone to do it since they were now reaching the more heavily populated areas of Tevinter.

The closer they got to Minrathous the less she thought about it and the quieter they all became.

The day they finally arrived at the city the academic in Rayne came forward thinking back to her studies at the Circle.

Minrathous was the capital of the Tevinter Imperium and the largest city in Thedas. It was built on a rocky island not far from the shore, accessible only by a single bridge that could be destroyed if needed. The island featured ports and shipyards and a vast series of underground catacombs capable of holding food enough to feed the city for a year.

It was one of the oldest human settlements in Thedas and during the golden age of the Imperium, it was the capital of the whole known world. Ruled by the powerful Imperial Senate and dynasties of mighty Archons, the city was, for nearly a thousand years, the greatest and wealthiest city in the world. Guarded by high walls and powerful golems, called Juggernauts, as well as powerful blood mages, the city was a lasting symbol of Tevinter glory.

"You know," Alec said taking everything in. "From the way Dorian talked, I expected Minrathous to be some glittering jewel."

"Disappointed Inquis… Alec?" Cullen quickly caught himself.

"Was just expecting…"

"More?" Rayne offered. She quickly dodged around a hunched over man who was barreling his way out of the city. They had left their mounts outside the city in a secluded grassy area with Elgar as the horses' protector, so they made their way into the city on foot so as not to draw attention.

"Indeed." Alec mumbled.

Rayne smirked. "By the beginning of our age, the city was full of fleeing refugees from the never-ending war against the Qunari." She explained. "Centuries of decadence have left the once great city fall more and more into decay with each passing year." She pointed in to the distance where a grand tower stood higher than all the rest. "The remnants of its former glory can still be seen, but are buried under filth of ages of decay. The high towers of the Circle of Magi rise above, clearly demonstrating who is in charge."

Cullen snorted. "Lovely. Let's pray they don't make me as a  _real_ Templar, as compared to these… imposters."

"Just keep your head down and don't do anything to draw attention and we'll be out of here by nightfall." Rayne whispered. "And stay together."

Cullen nodded. His eyes scanned around him in constant vigilance, his body coiled to attack if need be.

They all walked under an elegant archway that led into the heart of the city where merchants and refugees clogged the way.

Alec nodded to the west to a tall spire. "What's that?"

"Argent Spire."

"What's there?" Cullen asked.

"That… is where the Black Divine resides."

Cullen's face screwed into a look of disgust. He looked to her. "I hope you know where to find this magister?"

Rayne nodded. "Dorian gave me the location of his shop." She flipped up the hood to her cloak which was definitely starting to smell from the travel.

Following her lead, they wound their way through the market.

* * *

 

* * *

Cullen watched from the corner, never taking his eyes off of Rayne as she haggled with the magister that they had come to speak with. Requiring privacy for what she was doing, Rayne had asked him and Alec to move to the corner out of earshot. He hadn't been pleased, but he relented so long as he could still have her in his line of sight.

"So, any ideas what she's doing?" Alec asked as he leaned against a building.

Cullen shook his head. "Other than it has something to do with the Wardens, you're guess is as good as mine."

Alec tilted his head. "Any ideas what exactly she is working on? I mean, she hasn't had any real dealings with the Wardens since the Blight. So, whatever she is working on is of a personal nature and not some order from… uh, do the Wardens even have a higher authority?"

"The First Warden." Cullen said. "From what I understand though, he is largely a figure head. Relying on the Warden-Commanders, such as Rayne after the Blight, to make the major decisions within their assigned territories. But The First Warden can issue commands that must be followed." He frowned thinking of Alec words.

He was right. Whatever Rayne was working on for the Wardens  _had_  to be a personal mission. He thought back to the secret missives she received that not even Leliana could get her hands on and the map she was constantly marking. What  _was_  she working on?

Cullen watched as Rayne reached into a pouch at her hip and pulled out the two vials that she had concocted back at Skyhold. She handed the vials to the magister who took them with wide eyes. They exchanged a few more words before the magister finally nodded and turned into his shop, closing it off indicating he was no longer accepting customers.

Rayne quickly made her way to where they waited for her.

"Are we done here?" Cullen asked feeling twitchy.

"We come back in about three hours, and hopefully he'll have what I need."

Alec frowned. "What do you mean 'hopefully'?"

Rayne sighed. "There is no guarantee that he can accomplish what I need."

Cullen's eyebrows rose. "Wait, so you're telling me that we made this entire trek on a  _possibility_  that you can get whatever you need?"

"Pretty much."

Alec rubbed his head. "You can't be serious." He mumbled.

"Hey, no one asked you two to come." She snapped. "I was more than willing to come on my own."

"Yeah, because  _that's_ …" Alec grunted as a small form ran into his side.

The hooded figure, which was probably a child if Cullen had to guess, bobbed their head. "Sorry, Ser. My apologies, Ser. Didn't see you, Ser."

Alec rubbed his side. "It's alright."

The child bobbed their head again and was about to continue on their way when Rayne lashed out and grabbed them by the shoulder, her hood flew back in the process uncovering her face.

"Hey! Let go!" The child yelled.

Rayne spun the child around and flipped off their hood revealing the face of a dirty faced little girl. At least, Cullen thought it was a girl. She had chopped short ragged brown hair that hung in front of brown eyes. Her face was screwed in a look of anger, but he saw the hint of fear in her eyes coming face-to-face with Rayne. Which Cullen didn't blame her, Rayne's face was cold and emotionless which was always more frightening than a storm of emotions.

Rayne knelt to be eye level with the girl and held up her hand.

The girl winced.

"I think you have something that belongs to my friend here." Rayne said calmly.

The girl gave Rayne a defiant look. "Dun know what you're talkin' about."

Rayne just continued to stare at the girl, not breaking eye contact.

The girl began to twitch under that intense gaze. Finally she sighed and reached inside her cloak and dropped a pouch in Rayne's hand.

"Hey!" Alec exclaimed. "How in the…" He turned to inspect his belt and found his coin purse gone.

Rayne stood and looked down at the girl as she handed Alec his purse. "First rule of a pick pocket: don't lolly-gag with apologies when you hit your mark. Get what you need and go. Don't linger."

Cullen raised an eyebrow. "You're seriously giving her  _tips_  on how to be a better pick pocket?"

The girl crossed her arms and glared. "I know what I'm doin'."

Rayne raised an eyebrow. "If that was the case, you wouldn't have been caught. Next time, you may not come across a forgiving mark." She reached into her coin purse and pulled out a coin and tossed it to the girl.

The girl's eyes widened at she caught the glittering Gold Dragon and looked up at Rayne in disbelief.

"Go on. Take the lesson, and the coin. Learn."

The girl nodded eagerly, spun around and bolted. "Thanks Lady!" She called over her shoulder.

Rayne smirked and shook her head.

Cullen shook his head. "Really?"

Rayne turned to him and shrugged. "What?"

"When did you become an expert on pick pocketing?"

She chuckled. "Leliana and Zevran were good teachers in more than just the bedroom."

Cullen felt the heat come to his face and he turned his gaze away.

Alec shook his head with an amused smile. "So, what do we do now while we wait?"

"Don't suppose you two want to see more of the city?" Rayne said in amusement.

"No." Cullen and Alec said in unison.

Rayne laughed. "Didn't think so." She looked around and nodded to a nearby alley. "Seems as good a place as any to wait. Get a nap or something." She began heading that direction.

"I won't be sleeping in this place." Cullen grumbled.

Once in the narrow confines of the alleyway Alec sat on the ground, propping himself against the wall of a building. "You said you've been here before?" Directing his question to Rayne as he got comfortable for the long wait.

Cullen stood at the entrance of the alleyway keeping guard, positioning his body to be able to see out into the street but also able to keep an eye on the two mages behind him.

Rayne leaned against a wall and kicked out her legs in front of her, crossing them at the ankles, showing off her long legs. "The last time I was here… was shortly before I made Kirkwall my home."

Cullen looked to her. "Why did you even come here?"

She shrugged. "I was learning. Irving always said knowledge was power."

Cullen shook his head. "Something tells me that it was more than just wanting to progress your knowledge. You wouldn't have come here otherwise."

Rayne smiled. "You know me so well."

Cullen flushed and dragged his eyes back to the market. "Are we at least going to ever find out what this mission is about?"

"Sure."

He turned back to her with a raised eyebrow.

She smiled pleasantly. "The moment you undergo the Joining."

Cullen rolled his eyes. "You mean the moment I survive it."

"Survive it?" Alec asked with a frown.

Rayne shot Cullen a sharp look.

He blanched. "I… uh, meant…"

Rayne sighed. "Oh forget it." She turned her eyes to Alec. "Not everyone survives the Joining. You remember when I said it was unpleasant?"

Alec nodded.

"It's part of the unpleasantness. Some don't have the will to overcome what the Joining entails and dies. It's another reason there are so few Wardens."

"What about your Joining?" Alec tilted his head. "You obviously survived, were you the only recruit at the time? Or was that when King Alistair joined?"

Rayne's eyes darkened and she looked down the opposite end of the alleyway. "King Alistair had been a Warden for six-months when I was recruited. But no, I wasn't the only Warden recruit…"

Cullen and Alec exchanged glances.

Rayne's Joining was one of the few things Cullen didn't know about. Whether due to Grey Warden secrets or she just didn't like talking about it. But when she revealed to him once that the Joining could be lethal, he figured it was due to whatever traumatic events that transpired during her Joining.

"One was a knight from Highever." She said sadly. "Jory. He had a wife and a baby on the way. But he had been offered the chance to join the Wardens. A great honor. I doubt he would have gone if he fully understood what was being asked of us, not only with the Joining, but… everything else." Cullen saw a ghost of a smile on her face. "The other, Daveth. He was thief from Denerim. He had the misfortune of pick pocketing Duncan. City Watch caught him, and instead of him facing the noose, Duncan conscripted him. He was a charmer, our Daveth."

"What happened to them?" Alec asked softly. "Did they die at Ostagar?"

"Yes. But not in the way you're thinking." She shook her head. "It doesn't matter anymore."

"But it does." Cullen said. "It matters to you. You still carry them with you."

"Maybe I do." Rayne said softly. The sadness vanished from her features and she frowned as she looked down the alley.

"What is it?" Cullen asked.

She pushed off from the wall. "I don't know. I thought…" She slowly walked down the alley.

"Rayne." Cullen hissed.

"I got her." Alec said rising and following after Rayne.

Cullen frowned as they went around a corner. A knot formed in his stomach. A minute passed and they didn't return. He slowly headed where they went, drawing the sword at his side. "Rayne… Alec?" He called.

Cullen barely rounded the corner when an explosion of pain erupted in the back of his head from being hit. He yelled and crashed to the ground, his sword slid across the ground. His vision began to go dark, but not before his eyes fell on the two still forms of Rayne and Alec who were being bound by a group of hooded figures.


	42. Amell

Rayne groaned as the pressure in her head began to subside. "What happen?" She said weakly. Her voice sounding hollow in her ears.

"You've been brought home." An unfamiliar voice answered back in amusement.

"Home?" Rayne lifted her hand to her face to massage the headache there.

Or at least she tried to.

Her eyes flew open and looked down at her body. Leather bindings held down her legs and arms, a man in a mask worked tightening another around her abdomen. Rayne's heartrate increased, but she willed her mind to stay focused.  **It will do you no good panicking.**  She berated herself.

Rayne slowly took in her surroundings.

She was in a stone chamber being held down on a stone table.  **No, not table**. She thought.  **Altar.**  She noticed the slight stains of blood on the stone, grooves were carved into it that would direct blood into bowls. Rayne's throat went dry as she realized she was in a ritual chamber for a Tevinter Blood Mage.

The walls were dark, most of the light was concentrated on where she lay, so the practitioner would have ample light to work. There were at least four men in the room. One securing her restraints, another had his back turned to her wearing a black cloak with the hood thrown over his head, and two guards were at the only exit wearing similar masks to the one that was attending her.

Rayne's eyes went hard and her body rigid as she finally looked to the floor and found Cullen and Alec.

Alec was lying on his side still seemingly unconscious with his hands bound behind him with strange metal restraints that covered his hands entirely with strange runes carved into them. Cullen, on the other hand, was wide awake on his knees watching her with the fire of anger burning in his eyes. His hands were bound behind his back, a gag in his mouth and his sword nowhere in sight.

Rage filled Rayne. She began to cast a spell.  **They will rue the day…**  She cried out in pain as electricity coursed through her body. Her body convulsed, it felt like her blood was on fire.

When the electrical attack finally subsided, which seemed like an eternity, her body slumped back on the altar. Her eyes fell back on Cullen. He tried rising to his feet, only to be rewards with a sharp hit in the head from one of the guards at the door.

"Now, now." The unfamiliar voice said again. "No need for such things."

Rayne realized the voice was coming from the man who still stood with his back to her.

"No need to cause undo damage." He said in delight. "But I'm glad you are as feisty as ever."

Rayne's eyes narrowed. "Who are you?"

"Don't worry. All will be revealed in due time." She heard the sound of glass rattling together. "Just awaiting our other mage friend to awaken." He turned slightly to look at the guards at the door. "How about you help him?"

One of the guards grunted, and the one that had hit Cullen went up the stairs.

Rayne grunted as the man that was still fastening her restraints finally tightened them to a point where she could barely breathe.

"It is done, Master." He said.

"Good." Said the hooded mage. "Leave."

The slave bowed and rushed to the exit, nearly running into the guard that now had a pitcher in his hand. The slave vanished out the exit and the guard went to Alec and dumped the contents of the pitcher on the top of Alec's head.

Alec jerked and sputtered. "Wha-?"

Before he could say or do anything else, the guard put a gag in Alec's mouth and tied a scarf around his head to secure it. To his credit, Alec tried fighting as best as he could in his current situation. The guard finally left him and returned to his post.

Alec was on his side and looked around frantically until his eyes set on Cullen beside him. His eyes looked to the Templar in confusion and turned as best as he could until his eyes locked with Rayne's. His widened as he realized what she was on. The fury in Alec's eyes replaced the panic.

Rayne felt the familiar conjuring of magic. "Alec, no!" She yelled.

But it was too late. Just like with her, electricity erupted in Alec's body. His body convulsed with pain and his screams were muffled by the gag in his mouth.

"Stop it!" Rayne yelled at the hooded man. "He's going to choke to death!"

The hooded man sighed. "And we can't have that." His voice was laced with annoyance. He nodded to the guard again.

Once Alec's convulsions stopped, the guard quickly removed the gag. Alec rolled over from his back and began coughing up bile. His eyes were bloodshot.

"Yes, can't have the Inquisition's Herald dying now can we?" The hooded figure said.

Cullen's eyes narrowed.

The mage chuckled. "What? You think I didn't know? His mark gives him away." He paused and finally turned. His face was still hidden in the shadows of his hood. "Just like your feeble attempts at hiding your mark, my dear, gave you away."

Rayne narrowed her eyes. "What mark?"

He came closer and tapped her marked cheek. "The lyrium revealed itself once you were unconscious. Clever of you actually. You've managed to learn how to conceal the lyrium's essence all together. Unfortunately for you I recognized the design."

"Let them go." Alec gasped and rose unsteadily to his knees. "You have me, just let them go."

The mage laughed. "My dear boy, you think I wanted  _you?_  No, what I wanted, was the girl." He eased the hood of his cloak off his head finally and looked down at Rayne.

He was maybe as old as Rayne, but no older than Cullen, with long black hair that hung down to his waist in a widows-peak. Blue dye colored a thick section of hair that went down the side of his head. His eyes were an icy blue that were filled with pleasure about inflicting pain. He gave her a razor sharp smile. His features were hard and chiseled. He kept himself well groomed, not a hair out of place and the only hair on his face was a soul patch under his lips.

Rayne scowled at him and put up a good front that he didn't affect her. But inside, she felt a part of her wither up under that cold glare.

He tilted his head and his eyes traveled down her body. "Even in these rags, I can tell you have grown up into a fine young woman. It's such a shame that we weren't able to keep you. I could have reaped the benefits of our union long before now."

The look of defiance fell away from Rayne face as cold fear wrapped around her heart, the feeling tightened and she all of the sudden found it hard to breath. "The apprentice." She said in a small voice.

The mage brought his eyes back to hers and he gave her a predatory grin that a lion would give its prey. "So, you do remember me. I'm surprised and… delighted. But we didn't have a proper introduction the last time we met." He threw out his arms and bowed in a flourish. "Alerio of House Cato."

Rayne wanted nothing more than to shrink away from him.

Alerio stood straighter. "I don't think I ever got your name."

She refused to answer. In truth she doubted she could.

Alerio smirked and shrugged. "Makes no matter. I will either get it after, or just give you a new one. All depends on how much I like yours, I suppose. One of the perks of being property." He laughed.

That sparked anger in her. "I am  _no_  one's property." She hissed.

Alerio knelt until they were eye level. "But you are, my dear. You are marked by my master and you were promised to me." He scowled. "If it weren't for those troublesome Templars…" He growled. His anger dissipated and his attempt at charm returned and he turned around to face Alec and Cullen. "But, I don't really blame your fellow brothers."

Cullen narrowed his eyes.

"Yes." Alerio said with laughter in his voice. "I was able to pick up on you being a Templar once we knocked you out." He sighed dramatically. "No, I blame my overeager Master."

"And why is that?" Rayne asked. The more Alerio spoke, the angrier she got.

He turned slightly to her. "I told him we should get you back to Tevinter before starting the ritual. But no, he didn't want to wait. He was impatient." He tilted his head in thought. "Truthfully I think he was just eager for the screams."

Rayne's throat went dry. "Screams?"

Alerio's eye gleamed. "Why do you think he kept you conscious? Made sure you were awake through all of it? Able to feel every cut, every drip of hot lyrium into your flesh. He savored screams." He smiled. "But, don't worry. I'm not like my master. I don't relish in that nonsense. I prefer just getting to the end result."

"What are you talking about?" Alec asked.

"I'm going to finish my master's work, of course."

Alec's eyes widened. "Finish?"

Rayne barely heard what was being said now. Her heartbeat thundered in her ears.

"You don't honestly think that little brand on her face was supposed to be all of it, do you?" Alerio turned back to Rayne and smiled. "No, they were meant to cover her entire body." He eyed her closely. "Being as developed as you are, it will make some of the areas trickier. But I do so like a challenge."

Rayne closed her eyes trying to calm her heartbeat to try and think of a way out.

"I wonder." Alerio said. "Will you being a blood mage play a factor?"

Rayne's eyes flew open and she looked to him in shock.

Alerio's smile widened. "Yes. I felt it." He turned his attention to Cullen and Alec.

Rayne's eyes followed his down to Cullen.

Cullen's eyes were wide and filled with confusion.

Alerio chuckled. "I see your Templar didn't know. But, ah," His voice was practically dripping with the enjoyment he was gaining from their discomfort and shock. "It seems your Inquisitor  _did."_

Cullen blinked rapidly, his head whipped around to Alec who had his eyes diverted.

"Cullen." Rayne said softly.

Cullen slowly brought his eyes to her. She could practically see pieces falling into place in his head. The realization that what Alerio was saying was true. A look came to his eyes that she hadn't seen since finding him prisoner in the Tower flashed briefly in his eyes: revulsion.

In that one moment, seeing that look, Rayne's heart cracked and she turned her eyes to the ceiling as she pressed back tears.

Alerio  _tsk_ ed. "And judging by his reaction, I'm guessing he was a very naughty Templar with a now known blood mage." He sighed. "Well, I have some errands to get to. Gather some supplies for tonight. But in the meantime, I'll just remove this."

Rayne turned to Alerio as he removed Cullen's gag.

Alerio looked up at her. He was getting far too much pleasure from this new revelation. "I'm sure you two have a  _lot_  to talk about." He nodded to his guards.

The guards saluted and went up the stairs.

"I'll be back soon." Alerio said heading to the door.

"No." Rayne said with a hard edge to her voice.

Alerio stopped and turned to her. A frowned etched into his face. "No?"

"You will not take any more from me." Rayne hissed. Tears pressed into her eyes as she realized there was only one way out. "You magister leeches have taken enough from me. You won't take any more."

Alerio smirked. "Oh? And how exactly are you going to stop me? You're not exactly in a position…"

Rayne built up the energy inside of her; she felt the familiar connection to the Fade and the demons clamoring for attention. "By taking away what you want." She said through clenched teeth.

**I'm sorry, Aiden.** She thought one last time and then released the magic.

Agonizing pain coursed through her body. Whatever Alerio was using on her to keep her from using magic would work in her favor.  **I will die first.**  Screams that she couldn't hear but felt ripped from her lungs.

She wasn't sure how long the pain went.

And then darkness claimed her


	43. Trevelyan

"Rayne!" Alec yelled as great arcs of electricity and energy coursed over and into her body. The lyrium in her skin shined brighter than he had ever seen before.

Ear shattering screams filled the small chamber, causing Alerio to cover his ears and Alec and Cullen to cringe away.

The magister gritted his teeth. Finally having enough he grabbed a dagger from his belt and cut open his hand.

Alec felt the surge of power, but was unsure of what he was doing. Whatever it was, only took a few seconds to work. Rayne's screams abruptly stopped filling the room back with an unnatural quiet.

Alerio growled. "You're not getting off that easy, bitch."

Alec turned his head back to the altar. Rayne lay still on top, but he saw the rise and fall of her chest that said she was alive at least.

He looked to Alerio. "What did you  _do?"_

Alerio looked down at him and sneered. "Sent her to a place where she won't be a problem."

"You sent her to the Fade." Cullen breathed.

Alerio straightened himself and clutched his bleeding hand. "Very perceptive, Templar. Now then, I have some business to conclude."

With that the magister left them.

Alec looked back to Rayne, the smell of singed flesh and hair lingered in the room and it took all of Alec's self-control not to gag.

It was so quiet for so long that when Cullen finally spoke it caused Alec to jump. "Who long?"

Alec turned to his Commander. "How long what?"

Cullen hung his head in a look of defeat. "How long have you known that she was…" His voice cracked. "A maleficar."

Alec diverted his eyes and sighed. "From the beginning." He said softly. "She told me when I returned from my first visit to the Hinterlands."

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Cullen shake his head. "She had barely met you and she tells you her deepest secret. But I find out this way."

"Can you really blame her, Cullen?"

Cullen didn't answer. "Do you know how long?"

Alec knew what he was asking. He shrugged. "I only know she had been practicing for three years before she became a Warden."

Cullen let out a bark of laughter filled with bitterness. "Of course." He said harshly. "Since she saved Gregoir."

Alec nodded not knowing if Cullen actually saw the gesture.

"I should have known." His voice was a gruff whisper. "No mage could turn away from blood magic after having a taste."

Anger flared in Alec. "She didn't do it intentionally." He snapped.

"Perhaps not. But that didn't stop her from continuing, did it?"

"You don't even know everything." Alec hissed.

"I know all I need to." Cullen kicked the floor as best he could in his current position. "I'm such a fool. I've been… bedding down with a maleficar. I've been in…" He clamped his mouth shut.

Alec glared at Cullen. "Say it." He hissed.

Cullen's body went rigid.

"Say it!" Alec yelled.

"I've been in love with a maleficar!" Cullen yelled back.

"No, you haven't."

Cullen finally turned his eyes to Alec with a frown on his face.

Alec nodded to the altar. "Look at her."

Cullen's frown deepened and he looked away.

"Look at her, Commander!"

With a heavy breathe he slowly raised his head until he was looking at Rayne. His jaw clenched.

Alec slid closer to Cullen. "You're not in love with a maleficar." He said. "You're in love with Rayne."

"And what's the difference?" Cullen asked, his voice slightly shaking in contained emotion.

"Tell me, Cullen: if you hadn't been told she practiced blood magic, and you saw her there now, would you even in your wildest dreams even  _think_  she was a blood mage?" Alec searched Cullen's face. "Tell me true. Would you?"

Cullen didn't answer for a long time, simply staring at Rayne's still form. But Alec could see the pain etched in his features; he could only imagine the internal struggle the ex-Templar was having. If someone like Rayne could be a blood mage, what did that mean?

Finally, Cullen closed his eyes and sighed. He looked back to Alec, the pain was still there but so was determination. "So, what do we do now?"

"We can't just stay here and let Alerio carve Rayne up."

Cullen raised his shoulders. "We can't necessarily go anywhere with us bound and her in the Fade. It's a bad idea to move her in that state."

Alec nodded in agreement. "That's why we need to get her out."

Cullen raised an eyebrow. "And do you have any idea how?"

"It means one of us is going into the Fade after her."


	44. Cullen

"I still don't see how this will work." Cullen growled as he managed to bend his body enough to where he could slip his hand from behind him to the front. He winced at the pain at his wrists from the pulling and chaffing of the rope.

"You will have to." Alec said again. "I can't cast magic with the damned cuffs. So, you will have to go in."

"Only mages are aware in the Fade." Cullen argued again.

"When they're sleeping, yes." Alec said leaning again the wall as best he could. "But with enough magic, anyone can enter the Fade and be aware. With the lyrium still in your blood, you will have an advantage. You will be able to have some control in the Fade, like a mage."

Cullen's lip curled at the thought. He picked up the vial of lyrium they managed to get from knocking over the table that had been beside the altar. Along with it were cutting and measuring tools. Cullen's throat had gone dry when he saw the knives of varying sizes as thoughts of those slicing open Rayne's flesh entered his mind before he could stop them.

Cullen stared at the vial in his hand. The blue glowing liquid within seemed to call to him.

"You're not going to be drinking it, Cullen." Alec said above the siren's call of the lyrium.

"I know." Cullen shook his head. "I've seen my fair share of Harrowings, Rayne's included. We used similar methods of getting them into the Fade." His eyes went to Alec. "But it only works for mages."

Alec shook his head. "It works for anyone that has magic in them."

Cullen frowned. "Yes, and I don't…"

"But you  _do._ " Alec said. "The lyrium that is still in your blood. Lyrium is just a physical form of magic. And  _that_  will act as the link to get you into the Fade." He paused. "You also have a deep connection to Rayne that will help guide you to her."

Cullen sneered.

Alec scowled. "As much as you feel…"

"Betrayed?" Cullen offered.

Alec's frowned deepened. "No matter how you're feeling, you  _do_  have a connection to Rayne. Accept that."

Cullen sighed.

"Are you ready?" Alec asked.

"As I'll ever be." He mumbled. "How do I do this?"

"Lay back." Alec ordered.

Cullen got as comfortable as he could against the wall.

"Pour the lyrium into your hands."

Cullen did as he was instructed. The glimmering mineral coated one of his hands. He studied how his hand began to glow, the lyrium waiting patiently for a purpose.

"Now, close your eyes."

Cullen took one last look at Rayne on the altar. Her face was screwed in a look of severe pain. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"Relax." Alec said in a calming voice. "Use her as a focus, so you remember. Let her be your physical anchor to the real world."

Cullen steadied his breathing slowly relaxing his body. The lyrium on his hand began to feel warmer.

"Picture Rayne." Alec said. His voice sounded faraway now. "Envision what makes her who she is. The feel of her skin, the smell of her hair. The way she lights up when she smiles, how dangerous she appears when angry. Her spirit… everything about her." His voice faded.

**Rayne…**  Cullen thought. The thought of her sent mixed feelings of love and betrayal. Hunger and pain. A need and ache.

* * *

Cullen burst awake, his eyes unfocused as he looked around the room.

"Cullen." A soft voice filled with concern said. A cool hand touched his cheek.

He flinched and grabbed a wrist before whipping his head around to look into familiar blue eyes.

"R-Rayne?" Cullen said in disbelief.

Her eyes were filled with worry. "You were having another nightmare."

He looked around and found himself in his room, the glow from the moonlight pouring in through the hole in the roof acting as the only source of light.

Cullen released Rayne's wrist and buried his face in his hands. "Nightmare? No, that's not right. I was…" His mind drew a blank. Wasn't he supposed to be doing something?

Rayne gently touched his shoulder. "You were shaking and murmuring in your sleep. I've been trying for the last five minutes to wake you."

Cullen raised his face from his hands and looked at her.

She sat beside him with the fur blankets bunched around her waist revealing her bare chest in the moonlight.

"What are you… doing here?" He finally asked.

Rayne gave him a confused look. "Here?"

He waved a hand. "My room."

"Cullen, don't you remember?"

Cullen shook his head weakly.

Sadness filled Rayne's face. "Ah, _vhenan._ "

Cullen's lips parted as she used the term of endearment.

She gently cupped his face with one hand and brushed her thumb against his cheek. "Solas and Dorian said this would eventually happen."

"Wha—"

"As the lyrium works more out of your system you would start to have memory gaps until it was gone." She explained.

Cullen shook his head. "No. I mean, yes that can happen but I…" He thought hard. "We were captured… you're a blood mage… you…"

Rayne smiled sadly. "Me? A blood mage?" She said with a voice laced lightly with amusement.

Cullen studied her. Indeed, looking at her now. How could he ever think she was a maleficar? There was practically a glow to her.

His shoulders sagged. "It seemed so real." He whispered.

Rayne lowered his face down to hers and kissed his lips gently. Cullen's breath caught.

She pulled away and looked at him with concern. "Are you alright?"

"You… you kissed me?"

"Of course? Why wouldn't I?"

There was a reason… wasn't there? Cullen shook his head. "I… don't know."

"Oh, Cullen." Rayne said softly and drew him to her.

His laid his head against her chest and wrapped his arms around her. "What's wrong with me? Why can't I remember anything?"

Rayne gently stroked his hair. "Hush now." She said calmly. "It's okay. It will come back to you, it always does. I'm here."

Cullen tightened his grip around her and buried his face in her cleavage.

"Everything will be alright." She cooed.

Cullen listened to the beat of her heart and breathed in her scent.

The more he did though, the more he began to feel like something wasn't right.

**Her smell.**  Cullen thought.  **It's all wrong.**  She didn't smell like her typical spice and berry. Indeed, she didn't smell like anything at all. And that wasn't all. Whenever he held her there was always a feeling of… wholeness in him.

**_Use her as an anchor to the real world._**  Alec voice filled his head.

**This isn't real.**

"Cullen?" Rayne said uncertainly as if sensing his shift.

The Fade was using his desire for Rayne and a true relationship and love with her. Just like the demons tried to during the Blight.

**_You will have control._ **

"My love?" Rayne asked. "Are you alright?" She began to pull away.

Cullen squeezed his eyes shut and pulled her tighter. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

"Sorry? For what?"

Cullen felt cold metal in the palm of his hand as he envisioned a dagger. "Everything."

"Cul—" Rayne's voice caught as her body went rigid in his grasp.

Cullen finally pulled away to look into her face.

Her eyes were wide with shock. A small trickle of blood began to pour out of her mouth.

Even though Cullen knew this wasn't real, the pain in his chest was trying to tell him otherwise.

"Cullen…" Rayne gasped and tried to raise a shaking hand to his face.

Cullen clenched his jaw and twisted the blade in her side. "No."

Rayne's eyes turned red and her mouth opened wider than what should have been possible. An ear shattering shriek erupted from her mouth.

Cullen cried out and covered his ears and pressed his eyes closed.

When the wail finally stopped he slowly opened his eyes and blinked. He was no longer in his bed or even in his bedroom. He stared down at green-black rocky terrain and he was now wearing his typical armor, the lion's mane around his neck tickled his cheek.

Cullen slowly moved his eyes across the ground until they stopped on a pair of silver plated boots.

Swallowing past the lump in his throat his eyes followed up the legs going over shining silver armor with the crest of the Templars – a flaming sword – a cloth sash around the man's waist in colors of blue, gold and red.

Cullen's breath caught as his eyes finally fell on an old face. "Gregoir?" He whispered.

The elder Templar had once been Knight-Commander at the Circle Tower in Ferelden. He had been Cullen's mentor after he had taken his vows to join the Order. He looked the same as he did the last time Cullen had seen him.

Even as a man of his years, Gregoir didn't have many wrinkles on his face. His dark gray hair was pulled back in a tight braid; a finely trimmed goatee covered his chin. His grey-blue eyes ever piercing looking down at Cullen as he held himself as any proud soldier and warrior would.

Cullen shook his head and frowned. "No, this is another trick. I've beat your game once already, demon, I won't be tricked again." He rose and stood eye to eye with the impersonating Gregoir.

Gregoir narrowed his eyes. "I am  _no_  demon." He snapped.

"You're definitely not Gregoir." Cullen growled. "He died at the Conclave." His throat constricted at the memory.

Gregoir had arrived beside Irving to attend the Conclave. Unlike almost every other mage and Templar there, these two stood as a unified front. They had been comrades and even friends for most of their lives, and they were working for a peace between the two factions. When all other Circles fell into chaos, Gregoir and Irving had held strong at the Tower in Ferelden, keeping the peace within the walls. Mages and Templars who did not wish to stay there were free to go, but they would have no bloodshed within their halls. And for the most part it had worked. Some mages that had even left had went back when they realized what it was like for mages out the world currently.

Cullen had been surprised to see them when they arrived at the Conclave and had wanted desperately to speak with the Knight-Commander at the very least. He wanted to apologize for how he was when he left Ferelden a decade prior. Wanting to apologize for his anger and hate at the Knight-Commander for allowing the mages to live after what happen with Uldred. But he never got the chance. And now Gregoir and Irving were dead, like so many others.

Gregoir clasped his hands behind his back. "No, I'm not Gregoir either. I took on his form because it was one that was important to you, one that represented my virtue."

Cullen frowned. "Your virtue?"

"I am Valor, a warrior spirit."

Cullen knew there were spirits that represented righteous virtues, much like how demons represented the evil ones. Cole was believed to be one such spirit, a spirit of Compassion which was why he was able to read minds, he was sensing other people's pain. Cullen was still uncertain of such creatures.

Rayne had told him once that the line between a spirit and demon was a thin one. The perfect example was Anders. He had a befriended a spirit of Justice. In order to help his friend he allowed Justice to reside inside of him. But due to Anders' anger and hatred of Templars, Justice was twisted into Vengeance.

"Alright." Cullen said hesitantly. "What do you want?"

"You are here in search of the mageling."

Cullen's eyebrows rose. "Rayne? How do you know her?"  **Blood mage.**  He thought instantly. But no, that wasn't right. Blood mages dealt with demons, not virtuous spirits.

Valor's eye brow rose. "Is that her name?" He shrugged. "I know little of her. I met her a long time ago."

Cullen's eyes narrowed. "How?"

"During her test. I was there."

"Her… test?" Cullen said in confusion. "You mean her Harrowing."

Valor nodded. "Ah, yes. That's what she had called it then." He studied Cullen closely. "But you, you are no mage."

"No, I'm not."

"Just as I did with her, I sense a kindred spirit in you. But doubt and pain clouds it."

Cullen's jaw clenched. "Perhaps. But I have no time to think on that now." He didn't know how much time had already passed in the waking world. "I need to find Rayne. Do you know where she is?"

"No." Valor said bluntly.

Cullen's heart fell.

"But you do."

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

Valor pointed at his chest. "A tether. A link. A connection. That will lead you to the one you seek, if you let it."

"And how exactly do I 'let it'?" Cullen asked in annoyance.

"By not doubting."

Cullen growled. "That doesn't help."

Valor simply stared at Cullen.

Cullen growled again in frustration and spun around. He looked around finally taking in his surroundings. He was in a twisted landscape dotted with disconnected walls and doors, as if someone had spread out the pieces of a building without any knowledge of their relation to one another. More incredible by far was the sky, a vast sea of blackness with swirling ribbons of white crossing it. Islands floated above him, some large and seemingly an arm's length away, and others distant.

Everything had a strangely unnatural sheen, the corner of his vision fuzzing as if none of this were distinct enough to be real. He watched as the patchwork walls slowly moved, forming different configurations in front of him and then slowly reassembling themselves. One wall quietly disintegrated into the ground, disappearing entirely. Small floating light caught his attention, bright wisps speeding across the landscape not far from where he stood.

Cullen's eye went back skyward and gasped. He hadn't paid much attention to the islands above him, but one stood bigger than the rest and he distinctly made out something like looked like towers.

"The Black City." He said in awe.  **Maker… I'm really in the Fade.**

Rayne had always said she would never be able to describe the Fade properly to him. Seeing it now, he now understood.

Fear gripped his chest.

"Focus!" Valor barked.

Cullen jumped and returned his gaze to Valor. The command and the scowl on the spirits face were perfect to Gregoir, Cullen was half tempted to stand at attention feeling like a young Knight again.

Cullen took a deep breath. "I need to find Rayne and get out of here."

Valor nodded. "And I will help you. But it is you that must lead the way. You have the tether."

"The tether." Cullen said dumbly.

"And just like any tether, you pull on it." Valor said in annoyance.

"Right." Cullen said weakly. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

**Envision her, what makes her who she is. The way her eyes light up when something peaks her interest. The coy smiles that were just for me. The unquestionable loyalty when someone finally earned it. Her protectiveness of those she cared for. Her love… Rayne.**

Cullen's chest constricted again at those thoughts. How could someone like that… someone like Rayne be a blood mage? How had she gone so long under his very nose?

He heard Valor sigh. "Just because she is a blood mage doesn't mean she deals with demons. I wouldn't have helped her otherwise."

Cullen opened his eyes and turned to Valor. "What?"

Valor looked at him with annoyance. "You're in the realm of dreams, boy, your thoughts are not completely hidden here. Especially for one untrained in such things."

Cullen shook his head. "Fine. But what did you mean about her being a blood mage and demons."

"Why don't you ask her when you find her?" He snapped. "And get to it. She doesn't have much time."

"What do you mean?"

"The demon that has her… She doesn't have much time."

"Then help me!" Cullen yelled.

Valor sighed. Finally he strode forward and went to the nearest door. "Let me make this simple," He twisted the door's handle and opened it. There was nothing. It was an empty doorway, and Valor even stuck his hand though it to emphasize that fact. "This doesn't lead anywhere. Unless you want it to." He closed the door again and then opened it… and this time Cullen staggered backwards as the doorway led to a green plain. He could see blue sky, sunshine, even hear the birds. It was a portal carved into the air.

Valor closed the door again. "It's not a door," he stated. "It's a transition, a symbol. It could be a transition to the real world, where you would suddenly wake up and start to forget all about this, but you can't go there. Not while the demon holds the mage."

"Why are you telling me this?" Cullen asked.

Valor frowned and ignored his question. "You need to confront the demon. This is its realm. It has power, enough to kill you." He nodded to the door. "You can find the mage the same way. She is trapped in a dream, as you were."

Cullen frowned. "Won't she break out of it?" Despite what he currently thought of Rayne, she was one of the most powerful mages he had ever met. She saw easily through deceptions.

Valor's face remained passive. "Not everyone is as willing to deny themselves what they want as you are, boy. And some dreams are like dark hooks, latching onto the deepest pain."

"Nightmares." Cullen said.

Valor nodded.

Rayne had a lot of darkness in her past. The question wasn't so much how it would latch onto her. The question was: which one  _would_  it latch onto?

"I'll try," he muttered.

It might have been a foolish thing to do. If Valor was deceiving him, if he was really some spirit trying to send him back into the demon's clutches or even to his death, then so be it. He wasn't leaving without Rayne. One way or another they were leaving together, or they were staying together.

Cullen took a deep breath and went to the door where Valor stood. He focused on Rayne and everything about her that he knew and loved. Memories of her laughter filled him with warmth.

He turned the handle.


	45. Cullen/Trevelyan

The street was much like any busy street in the poorer quarters of Kirkwall, Cullen thought, though he was certain this wasn't the City of Chains. But the architecture was definitely similar. So somewhere else in the Free Marches? The rain came down from the grey skies overhead, soaking his coat adding more weight to his armor.

Was he still in the Fade? It seemed that he was, even though the change had been abrupt. This was a place just like his quarters at Skyhold had been a figment or even a dream.

Cullen looked around. The streets were completely empty. Tents were set up in the center of the square as a market, the tops drooping in as they collected more rain.

"Now what?" He mumbled.

Finally growing tired of being pelted with rain he went to the nearest tent that didn't look like it was about to collapse with the weight of rain and stood underneath. Cullen placed his hands on his hips and looked around. There was nothing telling where he needed to go. He didn't even know if he was in the right place.

His frustration was growing. How much time had now passed in the waking world? More importantly, how much time did he have before Alerio returned? Or had the magister already returned?

Fear began to creep inside Cullen. Had Alerio already returned and already started carving into Rayne? What about the Inquisitor? What had become of him?

Cullen shook his head. It would do no good to give into fear and despair now. He needed to focus. He looked around again. Cullen frowned as a tickle of memory came to him, but it was like quicksilver slipping through his fingers the more he tried to focus on it.

"It started to rain," He mumbled trying to remember. "She was forced to seek cover or risk falling sick. He came from the shadows…"

Quiet whimpers came to his ears.

Cullen blinked and looked around. There still wasn't anyone.

**I'm going mad.**  He thought to himself.

The quiet cries echoed around him. He could almost envision the small child that was crying.

"He came from the shadows," Cullen said again. "Rayne." Following his instincts he went back into the rain and began to walk the street. Perhaps it was the tether that Valor had said was within him, but the more he walked on, the stronger the feeling that he was on the right path came.

"I understand that in your world, mages are the only ones who can will things into being." A voice said.

Cullen abruptly stopped and looked around. "Valor?" He whispered.

"Those mortals who cannot must lead such hollow, empty lives." The spirit said.

Cullen frowned. "I don't know about that. There are other things that can fill us non-gifted."

"In this realm, everything that exists is the expression of a thought. Do you think these blades be steel? The staves wood? Do you believe they draw blood? A weapon is a single need for battle, and my will makes that need reality." It seemed as if Valor wasn't truly talking to him.

He sighed in annoyance. "Great, I'm starting to talk to myself." He grumbled and continued walking. But he replayed Valor's words, and thought back to Alec and Rayne.

**_In the Fade, you will have some control. Like a mage_**. Alec had said.

**_There you are only limited by your will and your imagination._**  Rayne had said

Cullen stopped walking again and thought back to the dream he had been trapped in. He had unintentionally conjured the dagger that he had used on the fake Rayne. He looked down to his hand. Cullen envisioned the sword he always had. Remembering the weight of it in his hand, the feeling of the polished metal grip, the guard resting easily against his hand.

Cullen's lips parted in surprise as his sword materialized in his hand. He was so shocked that it had actually worked that he nearly dropped the blade.

He tightened his grip on the hilt. "Right." Determination strengthened him and he continued down to wet dark streets.

* * *

 

* * *

 

"Oh come on!" Alec growled. "These blighted things should not be this difficult to get out of."

"They are of my own personal design."

Alec's eyes widened and he turned to the entrance of the chamber.

Alerio looked down at him with amusement. "But please, continue."

Alec sneered and sat up.

Alerio looked around the room. "Made an awful mess of things,  _tsk._ " He went to the overturned table and picked up a small knife. "And what were you hoping to accomplish?" His eyes went to Cullen and he frowned.

Alec panicked. "I just felt like being an adolescent child and made a mess."

Alerio wasn't listening to him though. The magister went over to Cullen's sleeping form and studied him. He chuckled and picked up the empty vial of lyrium. "Clever you. You sent him into the Fade for her." He turned back to Alec. "It won't do him any good. Even if he manages to find her, kill the demon that has her stowed away for me and manages to leave the Fade, you all will still be trapped here. But valiant effort."

Alec was really starting to detest this mages smirk. "We just missed her honey voice."

Alerio returned to him and knelt. "So, I know the Templar had her." He nodded. "What about you?"

Alec sighed. "Why does everyone always assume that I would want to?"

Alerio raised an eyebrow.

"Uh… I mean. Yeah, sure."

Alerio chuckled. "You're a terrible liar, Herald." He rose.

"Yeah, I've been told that a time or two." He mumbled and then looked up at the magister. "What's your plan exactly?"

"You know my plan."

Alec nodded to Rayne. "For her, yes. Make her into some lyrium infused super mage… or whatever. But what about me and my Templar friend?"

Alerio looked to Cullen and shrugged. "The Templar? Have yet to decide." He turned back to Alec and gave him an icy smile. "You, on the other hand, I will sell to either the Inquisition or Corypheus. I hear that he wants you badly."

"You do realize that the moment Corypheus knows you have me he will more than likely kill you instead of bartering. You're an inconvenience, and he eliminates them."

Alerio rubbed his chin in thought. "Perhaps you're right. Then I shall sell you to the Inquisition. If they don't meet my demands, I kill you for a blood ritual." He grinned. "Do you feel better knowing now?"

Alec glared at him.

"But first, I will make sure you and your Templar watch as I cut away at your friend. Not just her body, but her mind." Alerio laughed.

A shiver went down Alec spine and his eyes went to Rayne trying to think of an escape plan.


	46. Cullen

Cullen eased open the door to the mansion slowly. The home seemed somehow more  _present_  than the others. It's plaster less faded, and there was color there whereas every other part of the street seemed muddy and grey. He had followed his instincts and the whimpers that got increasingly louder as he went.

Inside was as empty as the rest of the dream. No furniture or people. Cullen began to understand why as he went. Rayne didn't have a clear memory of being brought here, or leaving it, so she didn't have a clear memory of those small details. The only thing standing out was a dark brown oak door with strange symbols carved into it.

Cullen slowly went to it. No doubt this door would lead down to a ritual chamber, much like the one where Alerio currently held them. He took the knob in his hand and took a steadying breath. Cullen didn't know what to expect down in the bowels of the mansion.

Soft crying came through the door. "Please…" A small child's voice cried.

Cullen's heart clenched at the sound. He turned the knob and pushed open the door and found a narrow flight of stairs leading downward into darkness.

The cries were coming from below.

Taking one last breath, he descended. The stairs creaked ominously beneath his weight, and the air turned chill the farther down he got. His heart began to beat rapidly. The stones around him changed, becoming natural rock. When he finally reached the bottom he entered a dark chamber with torches that cast a blood red glow on an altar at the other end of the room. Candles lit all around it, flickering and sending shadows jumping about the stone floor. And on that altar was the form of a small child, her black hair matted and mushroomed around her head, wearing nothing but a shift curled up so he couldn't see her face. But Cullen had no doubt as to whom it was.

A shadow detached itself from the darkness and moved to the altar. A haunting blue glow came from the vial in his hand revealing the contents to be lyrium. The magister had his hood thrown over his head to hide his face. He set the vial on the altar and grabbed the child, forcing them onto their back. The child screamed in pain as the magister cast a spell, judging by how still the child became it was some sort of paralyzing spell.

The magister picked up a small blade from the altar, twisting it in the fire light until it glinted with evil purpose. "Now, my dear, shall we continue?"

The child whimpered. "Please…" Her voice shook and cracked.

"And don't forget to scream…"

Cullen gritted his teeth. "Stop!" he ordered the magister. He moved into the small chamber, his sword raised cautiously before him. He kept his distance from the magister, there was no way of knowing what to expect from him.

The magister paused and turned to look at him. The glow from the candles and torches just barely penetrated the shadows of his hood revealing glowing red eyes and a sharp beak nose. "Ah! And here he is at last." Cullen could hear the smile on his face. "Found your way out of your dream, did you? Well, throw away a gift if you will; I won't give you another."

"I do not need your gift," Cullen said, his tone deadly. He lowered his sword to him. "You will release Rayne, and you will release us."

The magister chuckled. "Release my precious girl? I don't think so! I have already spent a considerable amount of time carving the brand into her skin. I'm not about to waste all of that!"

"I know what you are, demon. There is no need to pretend."

He clucked his tongue reproachfully. "Do you think you are actually here? Do you think that is an actual weapon that you have pointed at me? Who do you think is this master of this realm, and who is the dreamer?" With a wave of his hand, Cullen was slammed hard into the stone wall of the cavern.

He was vaguely aware of his sword clattering to the ground as stars filled his vision. And then he felt a pressure around his neck. Cullen choked and raised his hands to his throat trying to remove whatever was there. But found nothing. He rose from the ground, being picked up by his neck. He looked down at the magister.

"Rayne…" Cullen was barely able to choke out.

She raised her head slowly, with the magisters focus on Cullen she was back to her curled position. His eyes widened as the light finally showed the extent of the damage already done to her. Her face on the right side had its usual markings and down her neck. But now they continued down her arms and hands. The pattern went to her chest, but how much was actually done was hidden from view; her skin was red and smeared with blood. As she looked up at him with questioning, reddened eyes and a face stained with tears, he gathered she had no idea who he was and barely even registered that he was there.

Seeing her like this, it crushed Cullen's heart. Until this moment he never truly comprehended what Rayne went through at the hands of Galerius.  **Blood mage or not,**  he thought to himself,  **no one deserves this. Especially not an innocent child.**  "Rayne." He gasped again; shadows already threatened the edges of his vision.

The magister growled and threw his arm. Cullen cried out as his head bashed hard on a stone outcropping on the wall, agony burned through him. But the pressure on his throat was gone. He groggily tried to sit up. His eyes fell on his sword. Anger fueled him

Cullen managed to get to his feet and dashed for his sword. In a single motion he grabbed the hilt and spun around and charged the demon. He released a war cry as he thrust his sword completely through the magister's midsection. It passed through cleanly, spilling no blood as it came out on the other side.

The magister looked at him almost in disappointment. "Truly, is that the best you can do? Are such futile efforts supposed to impress me?" He reached out with a hand, his speed lightning quick and too fast for Cullen to avoid, grabbing him around his throat and lifting him off the ground. He casually removed the sword from his middle with his free hand.

Cullen gasped and batted ineffectually at the demon's hand. "See? I can do this the old-fashioned way just as easily," he chuckled. "As soon as you dispense with this useless struggle, you can perish quietly." Cullen felt his windpipe being crushed, his head began to swim as his let out a guttural cry of anguish.

And just as he felt like his life was about to end, he fell in heap on to the floor, coughing and tasting blood in the back of his throat. Cullen raised his eyes to the magister. He was turned away from Cullen and smoke rose from his shoulders from a scorched area in his robes. Cullen looked at it in confusion until he followed the demon's gaze.

It was Rayne. She rose from the altar, shaking from the effort she stood allowing herself to tower over the demon, her eyes wild, bright magical power coalescing around her fists, the lyrium across her body burned bright. Her eyes went hard and her hands clapped together unleashing an enormous bolt of lightning at the demon.

The flash blinded Cullen, and the thunder that followed almost threw him back. When he opened his eyes he saw Rayne had dropped to her knees, her effort spent. The demon was on the ground, his robes were completely burned away, leaving his bare chest smoking from the strike. He seemed dazed.

Cullen took his chance. He picked up his sword and rose to his feet.  **Let's see if this does something now!**  He plunged his sword into the demon's head, it slid bloodlessly through the back of his head until it emerged through the front between his eyes.

The demon roared in pain, flailing his arms about. Cullen yanked the sword from his head and roared a battle cry as he swung his sword and beheaded the demon in one stroke.

As the demon's head bounced on the ground the body disintegrated, the head followed soon after.

Cullen breathed hard and he dropped his blade. He leaned again the wall trying to catch his breath. His head pounded.

After a short time he finally opened his eyes and looked to the altar. He jumped from the wall when he found Rayne missing. He looked around in panic but didn't see anything. But then he heard the quiet crying.

Cullen slowly followed the sound. He took a torch and went into the shadows. The light pushed away the darkness and finally revealed Rayne's small form huddled in the corner, pushing herself as close to the wall as feasibly possible, Cullen was certain if she could fade into the wall she would.

He knelt and put the torch on the ground beside him. "Rayne." His throat was still raw from being strangled. He frowned at the thought. He pictured his throat healing, remembering the feeling of when mages healed his wounds. Instantly the familiar itch of healing magic assailed his throat, it took all his self-control not to want to claw at his own throat.

Rayne flinched from him and tried to move away, keeping her face turned away from him. "No." She whimpered.

His heart fell. "Rayne, I'm not here to hurt you." He said softly and moved forward on his hands and knees.

Her body curled up more. "You hate me." She cried.

Cullen looked at her in confusion but continued to slowly move closer. "What do you mean?"

Rayne shook her head. "You know." Her voice cracked. "You know. You know."

He looked briefly away. "I do." He turned back and went to her side.

"You hate me." She whispered.

"Oh, Rayne." He said softly and placed a hand on her shoulder.

She cringed but didn't move away.

Cullen gently pulled her around and pulled her to him. He picked her off the ground and cradled her in his arms letting her bury her face into his coat. He ran fingers through her long tangled hair. "I don't hate you." He said tenderly. "Maker knows I wish I could, but I could never hate you."

Rayne shook in his embrace. "Lies."

"No, Rayne, it's not. And that is my burden to bear." He closed his eyes and nestled his face into her hair. "I could never hate you." He repeated.

"All I do is cause pain."

Cullen opened his eyes at the difference in voice. He looked down and found a fully grown Rayne in his arms, looking like her normal self. "That's not true."

Rayne barely raised her head, still unable to look at him. "But it is." She said softly. "That is my lot."

Cullen placed a hand gently under her face and tilted it up. Her face was still stained with tears. "No, it's not."

She shook her head. "Look what I have wrought. So many people…" She looked at him. "To you, you may not hate me; but you are hurting."

Cullen looked away.

Rayne brought a hand to his cheek.

He brought his eyes back.

New tears traveled down her cheeks. "I'm sorry." She brought her face close to his. Their lips never met, but their breath mingled for a few heartbeats. "I'm sorry for everything." She breathed. "Especially this."

Cullen frowned. "For what?"

Rayne's eyes flashed blinding him.

* * *

 

Cullen's eyes burst open and he gasped for breath.

"Cullen!"

His eyes focused on his surroundings and found himself back in Alerio's chamber with Alec looking at him in worry.

Alec exhaled. "Thank the Maker. I was sure I had lost you both, or that you wouldn't return in time."

Cullen blinked rapidly trying to collect his thoughts. "In time?"

Alec nodded. "Alerio returned. He's upstair—"

Alec and Cullen recoiled as ear shattering screams filled the room. Cullen's eyes went to the altar to see Rayne screaming in pain.

 ** _I'm sorry for everything. Especially this._**  Her voice filled his head. His eyes widened as he realized what she was trying to do. "Rayne! Stop!" He yelled.

But she didn't. She continued to release as much magic into hers binds as possible. The smell of burning flesh soon filled the cavern where the binds at her wrists and ankles seared away skin.

By the time Alerio made it down to the chamber, Rayne laid still, only small wisps of smoke rose from her. Cullen had a hard time breathing as he could do nothing but stare at Rayne's face that was turned towards them. Her eyes open staring into nothingness, a single tear ran down her lifeless cheek. His chest constricted, his heart felt like it had burst in his chest, that's how much pain he was in.

Alerio roared in rage and spun around on Cullen and Alec, but Cullen didn't notice him. All his attention was on Rayne. Until the magister grabbed Cullen by the hair and yanked up his head.

Cullen choked down the cry of surprise and pain and glared at Alerio.

"You did this." Alerio snarled. "A waste!"

He pulled out a dagger and held it to Cullen's throat. Cullen flinched as he felt the cold metal prick his skin and the familiar feeling of warm blood drip down his neck.

A dark glare came to Alerio's eyes. "I should kill you now." He growled. "But I want you to bear witness."

Cullen narrowed his eyes. "To what?"

"She may not be of any use to me. But her skin is. I will flay the skin from her corpse!"

Cullen's eyes widened.

A crashing sound above them caused Alerio to frown and look up to the ceiling. A few moments later, another crash. Alerio's frown deepened, he stood and went to the door. "What is going on?" He called.

Alec took a sharp intake of breath.

Cullen turned to him and raised an eyebrow.

Alec nodded behind him.

He looked at the mage in confusion but turned his head. His eyes widened and he had to stifle the surprised gasp and calm the sudden rapid beating of his heart. His eyes locked onto familiar pale blue eyes.

Cole knelt beside him with his head tilted.

Cullen racked his brain wondering why he hadn't seen the boy until this point, and more importantly why Alerio hadn't and was still oblivious to him. And then Cullen remembered Cole's ability to make others forget him. Cole was tapping into his abilities as a spirit to conceal himself from Alerio.  **It's easy to make people forget you when they don't expect you to be there.**

Cole took Cullen's bound hands and drew a dagger and easily cut away the rope. Cullen winced as proper blood flow went into his hands. Cullen extended a hand to Cole.

Cole nodded and drew his second blade and placed it in Cullen's hand. Cullen couldn't stop the smile that came to his face feeling the familiar feel of steel in his hand.

Cole's head shot up and he lunged at Cullen.

Cullen grunted as he fell to the floor in time to see a fireball fly over where he had once been. "Get the Inquisitor!" He rolled as he felt another spell coming his way.

Alerio's eyes burned brightly as he held another fireball in his hand. "Leaving so soon, Templar?" He growled and hurled the ball.

Cullen was forced to roll again and went into a crouching position. Without a shield to help turn away spells, he had to change his fighting technique.

Alerio's eyes widened and he jumped into the stairwell as a bolt of lightning came at him.

Cullen turned to see Alec rubbing his wrists with Cole by his side. "Get Rayne!" He ordered. "Help her!"

Alec looked at him in bewilderment. "But, Cullen…"

"Just do  _something._ " He bound to his feet and rushed to the stairwell in time to see Alerio's retreating figure.

"No you don't." He growled and rushed after. "This ends now." He lunged forward on the stairs and caught Alerio's foot. It wasn't much, but it was enough to cause the magister to fall forward and crash at the final steps.

Alerio scrambled up the last few steps. Cullen hot on his heels. Putting as much speed into his step, Cullen barreled into Alerio, sending him crashing into the wall. The magister spun around, Cullen could feel the spell being conjured.

But Alerio never got his chance. Cullen dug his blade deep into Alerio's chest, pushing his body against his to force the blade in as much as he could, bringing himself nose-to-nose with the magister. Alerio's eyes were wide with shock.

"For Rayne." Cullen whispered as blood bubbled out of Alerio's lips.

He pulled the blade out and stood back to let the magister's lifeless body fall to the floor. Cullen breathed heavily as he stood there for a few moments longer.

"Cullen!" Alec's voice called from below.

He spun around immediately and rushed down the stone stairs, afraid of what he would find.

He skidded to a halt as he found Alec and Cole kneeling over Rayne on the floor.

Tears pressed into Cullen's eyes as he saw the rise and fall of her chest.


	47. Trevelyan

Getting out of Minrathous had been considerably more difficult than it was getting in. Especially since they were now trying to conceal the unconscious form of Rayne. But with the help of Cole's special abilities, they managed to sneak out of the city. Alec had worried about Cole, trying to shroud not only himself but three other people was taking its toll on the boy. But Cole was resilient and he managed to pull it off, getting them back to their mounts that were luckily still where they had left them.

Alec watched with worry as Cullen had cradled Rayne against his chest as they ran the streets of Minrathous. He didn't know the extent of any damage that may have been done to her. Not only on her body – he was able to see horrible burns on her wrists and ankles – but not only her mind. She had been dead for a considerable amount of time, how much damage was done with so long without oxygen? Add in to whatever psychological torture she endured in the Fade. He had wanted to ask Cullen what happened, but Alec knew this wasn't the time. They needed to get to safety.

So, with Alec on his horse, Cullen riding on his with Rayne securely in front of him and Cole riding Elgar they rode out into the night. Due to fatigue on his and Cullen's part and Cole not fairing too well riding Elgar with the way the saber's body moved when running, they were forced to only riding a few hours. But by the time they finally found a clear place in a wooden region, Minrathous was nothing by a small glow in the distance.

"How did you even find us?" Cullen asked as he dropped a pile of wood next to the fire, directing his question at Cole.

Alec had offered to be the one to go gathering wood and food. But Cullen had been against it, stating he still had enough energy to be of some use. Alec had the suspicion the ex-Templar just wanted to avoid Rayne, a fact that angered Alec. But that was an issue for another time; their main objective was to get to safety.

"I was following you." Cole stated as he crouched on the large boulder that was acting as a barrier to keep the wind off Rayne's still form below him. Cole had taken it upon himself to watch over her, constantly studying her.

Cullen frowned. "For how long?"

"Since Skyhold."

Alec's eyebrows rose. "Wait, you mean you were following us? All the way from Skyhold?"

"Yes?" Cole tilted his head.

"Why?" Cullen snapped as he sat down as far away from Rayne as he could get while still being near the fire.

"Leliana asked me to."

Alec sighed. "Of course she did." He shook his head and smiled at Cole. "Well, I guess I will have to thank her. And you Cole."

Cole brought up his gaze from Rayne, his face mostly covered in shadow from his large hat. "He was hurting you. Hurting all of you." He looked to Cullen. "He's still hurting you."

Cullen frowned and looked away in annoyance.

"Just like the mages at the tower. Power hungry. Dark and dangerous." Cole said softly. "The demon there had known. The demon with her face."

"Stop!" Cullen yelled. His voice echoes around them. "Enough, Cole." He said in a quieter voice.

Alec frowned. "That's how you really feel about her now?"

Cullen wouldn't meet his gaze, staring off into the dark woods around them.

Alec shook his head in disgust. Finally he sighed. "We need to get word to Skyhold." He turned to Rayne. "We cannot travel with her like this. Not only does it slow us down, but is dangerous for her. Perhaps we can get word to Solas to… I don't know do something."

Cullen brought his gaze finally to Alec. "What can he do all the way in Skyhold? What would he need to do?"

Alec nodded to Rayne. "She hasn't woken. She hasn't even moved since we brought her back."

"Her mind is blank." Cole said gravely. "Nothing. No emotion."

Cullen looked back and forth between Alec and Cole. "What does that mean exactly?"

Alec shrugged. "We don't know. Solas might be able to know more of what is wrong with her. Also… I don't know what kind of damage was done to her mind being dead for as long as she was."

Cullen frowned. "How  _did_  you bring her back?"

"Electricity. I sent jolts into her chest to restart her heart." He nodded to Cole. "And Cole… he…" He frowned. "I'm not entirely sure what you did Cole."

"I found her." Cole said, not looking up. "Drifting. Crying. Wishing. I led her back to be safe."

Cullen frowned and then sighed. "It doesn't matter in the end I guess." He looked back to Alec. "I still don't see how Solas would be of any help, especially in Skyhold."

"He travels the Fade. Rayne is still technically sleeping. Perhaps he can find her there and find out what is wrong."

Cullen rose from the ground with a wince and went to his horse. Searching through one of his saddle bags, he finally pulled out a rolled up map and brought it back to the fire. He laid out the worn parchment and studied it. "If I had to hazard a guess from our flight, I would say we're not far from Asariel. Looks like a small village on the coast. From what I remember, Leliana has people in Marnus Pell that could get a message to Skyhold." He looked up. "But we cannot stay anywhere in Tevinter, we have to at least make it into Nevarra."

Alec tapped his leg and moved closer to the map to look it over. "What about Hunter Fell?" He asked tapping the map. "It's off a ways from the Imperial Highway, secluded."

Cullen frowned and studied it. Finally he shook his head. "I would feel better putting the Minanter River behind us, and Hunter Fell is on the wrong side of the river. No easy escape if needed."

"But the only place between the Minanter and the Waking Sea is Cumberland." Alec pointed out. "Can we make it there in our current state? We definitely couldn't go across the sea."

Cullen was silent, no doubt going over their options. "If I knew how we would be received, I would suggest going to Weisshaupt." He looked over to Rayne. "But with the current situation with the Wardens hazy and not knowing how they would take to Rayne's presence…" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"We're going to have to go to Cumberland. It's our only option." He looked back to Alec. "It will be slow going. We have to avoid the Highway. We will stop in Marnus Pell and send word to Leliana and Solas telling them our destination and our current state and an estimate of our arrival."

* * *

The next day at dawn they began their trek to Marnus Pell. This time, Cullen had insisted he take Elgar with Rayne. He was accustomed to the saber's movement, unlike Cole, so would have a better time riding him. Cullen's stead wasn't pleased with having Cole atop him, but he was obedient. The entire time Cullen held Rayne he was rigid and tried to keep from touching her too much.

When Alec offered to be the one to take Rayne, Cullen had shaken his head, stating Alec and Cole were their only line of defense with him weaponless. "Your magic will be far more beneficial than me with a simple dagger." Alec had finally agreed.

Luckily Marnus Pell wasn't far from where they made camp the night before. Keeping to the woods was hazardous for the horses, not being able make out any dangers on the uneven ground that could potentially hobble them. Elgar on the other hand was completely at ease and was able to traverse through, climbing easily over boulders and knocked over trees with ease, unlike the horses that had to find ways around. Alec was beginning to think he should ask Rayne where he could acquire a saber for himself. The giant cat was quiet, faster and more agile than any horse he had ever seen. Even wearing light armor in strategic places and on his head, Elgar was never hindered. He made the perfect battle mount.

Alec had stayed with Cole, Rayne and the mounts while Cullen snuck into Marnus Pell. It was hours before he returned. But he had come back with supplies and a sword at his hip. The message he had sent told Leliana what had transpired in Minrathous – excluding the revelation that Rayne was a blood mage – and where they currently were, what Rayne's current state was and where they were heading. He also let her know that getting any more messages out before they reached Cumberland may prove trouble, so told her not to expect another until then. With their current travel, Cullen guessed they wouldn't make it to Cumberland for at least another month if they were lucky. Alec realized then that they had already been gone over a month. If all went smoothly, he will have been away from the Inquisition for nearly three months.

He groaned at that realization. What had transpired since he left? Were the others able to handle any pressing issues? Had they heard anything back from Stroud and Hawke? Alec knew that the masquerade that they were supposed to attend wasn't for another two months, so he was safe on that front at least. Alec also had the impression if something arose that the others couldn't handle Leliana would have found a way of dragging him back to Skyhold kicking and screaming if she had to.

Alec had no more time to think on it. After all the supplies were secured they began their slow journey to Cumberland. His thoughts now centered on their survival.


	48. Cullen

Cullen rolled his shoulders as he tried to work out the fatigue in his body as they walked their way to the "Dragon's Den". He was just glad that they had finally made it to Cumberland. The roads were paved with cobblestone, the streets lined with three-story buildings. Cullen knew in the older portions of the city the streets were narrow, but most were spacious to accommodate carts and traders. Nevarran veneration of the dead was seen in the city by the skillfully crafted statues of heroes past that filled the city's many courtyards.

Cumberland was an influential port, seated alongside the Waking Sea and straddling the River Cumber. Its location gave it access to trade with the Free Marches and beyond. Over the last century, Cumberland had taken advantage of this to expand into one of the largest cities in Thedas. It was also where the College of Magi had once routinely convened and was once the seat of the Grand Enchanter. But after the war began, there was no longer a College and in truth the title that Fiona held was an empty one.

Armed guards stood watch outside the wealthy districts of the city and inhabitants and visitors were therefore not allowed to walk about armed. Those who appeared uncouth or of low standing were looked upon with disdain. Which was why their small group gained glares from the guards they passed, in their travel stained and worn clothes, they looked like vagrants.

Cullen, Alec and Cole all took to walking instead of riding into the city. Elgar was let loose into the plains to hunt and to be kept out of sight. Rayne was the only one to still be riding a horse. Cullen's worry and fear knotted heavily in his stomach. They had actually arrived Cumberland a week sooner than he thought they would, but that was still two weeks of no food for Rayne. How she was surviving was a miracle onto itself.

Every night they would try to get her to drink at least some broth, but it wasn't enough. Her cheeks had sunken in and dark circles covered her eyes. But she had still yet to move on her own, nor say a word. She continued on in her peaceful sleep. And for that, Cullen was at least grateful. It seemed as if she wasn't having any nightmares.

Cullen's eyes went to his companions. Both looked tired and worn out, the last two weeks had seemed long. Made all the worse sleeping in uncomfortable terrain and evading Tevinter mages that were roaming the country side.

At least tonight we call all sleep in real beds. He thought to himself. He still didn't know what they were going to do. Not having any communication from Leliana after he sent their message in Marnus Pell left them in the dark. Alec had been right. They couldn't go across the sea with Rayne in her current state.

"Where are we going?" Alec asked.

Cullen nodded ahead. "The Dragon's Den. It's a walled-off area. A dwarven trade enclave."

"And hopefully to The Diamond Lass." A new voice cut in.

Cullen's hand instinctively went to the sword that he usually kept at his hip but remembered it was gone.

Alec gasped. "Dorian!"

The Tevinter mage stepped out of an alley and smiled at them. His smile slowly fell as he took them all in. "Yes, I would say the Diamond Lass is a must. You all look like you're about to kill over."

Alec's smile widened and Cullen could tell he wanted nothing more than to run to his lover. But had enough sense to wait to keep such displays off the street.

Dorian motioned for them all to follow. "Come. We have suites at the inn standing at the ready. Solas and I have been searching the city for days hoping to find you."

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, Dorian," Alec said keeping in step with the other mage. "But I can understand why Solas is here, why are you?"

Dorian gave Alec a charming smile. "Other than to see you, Amatus? We weren't sure how far into Nevarra or even Tevinter Solas would have to go to find you all. So we thought it safest for an elf to be traveling with a Tevinter mage."

Cullen nodded. "Good thinking. I'm glad Leliana got my message."

Dorian chuckled. "It took all of Josephine's diplomatic skills to keep our Spymaster from sending a squadron of soldiers to hunt you all down." His eyes went to Rayne on the horse and his smile fell. "Especially knowing Rayne's predicament."

"Do you know if Solas knows what's wrong?" Cullen asked hopefully.

Dorian shook his head. "No. He said he wouldn't be able to know for sure until he saw her for himself. But he did try visiting her in the Fade."

 **Try being the prominent word.** Cullen thought. "I take it there was no luck?"

Dorian's silence was answer enough.

A short time later they were taking their horses to the stables. Cullen eased Rayne off the horse with the help from Cole, the boy had become very protective over her on their journey, and Cullen knew that Cole felt terrible that he couldn't help her. Dorian paid the stable master a considerable amount to tend fully to the horses. Once that was done they entered the Diamond Lass.

The Diamond Lass was a lavish inn in the Dragon's Den, many dignitaries and higher officials chose to go there instead of other inns in the city, so it was no surprise to see the dining hall packed with finely dressed people drinking from crystal goblets worked with runes to keep the beverages cold. When they entered a few closest to them turned to see who entered and scrunched their noses.

Dorian walked through, never hesitating, only pausing briefly to exchange pleasantries with the inn's patron before going up a flight of stairs. Cullen restrained the exhausted sigh he felt and followed after with Rayne cradled in his arms.

By the time he reached the floor where their rooms were he only saw Cole standing in the hall outside an open door. When Cullen entered, he saw why. Dorian and Alec were in an intimate embrace, kissing. Cullen quickly diverted his gaze, but he felt the heat come to his cheeks nonetheless. Cullen wasn't against such a pairing, he had known many male Templars in his time that enjoyed the company of men, he just felt this was an intimate moment he shouldn't be seeing no matter who was involved.

When they finally pulled away from one another they were both flushed. Dorian turned to Cullen. "You can put her in there." He nodded to a closed door. "There is a bed already made, big enough for two." The last with a grin.

Cullen frowned. "That won't be necessary."

"Well, obviously not now. But when she awakens…"

"It still won't be necessary." He snapped. He turned away from Dorian's confused look and headed to the door.

Cole was quick to rush in front of him and open the door. Cullen grunted his thanks. The room was dark, so Cole went to open the curtains to allow light. Cullen's eyes took a moment to adjust to the brightness as he took in the room. The room was warm and inviting in colors of warm browns and yellows. The bed, as Dorian pointed out, was indeed big enough for two to sleep very comfortably. A porcelain tub was at the far corner next to a changing wall. Near the door was a hearth that looked like it didn't see much use. Especially this time of year.

Cole went to the bed and drew down the furs and blankets, removing some, he knew Rayne wouldn't need all of it. Cullen gently laid her on the bed; her head nestled into the pillow. He stared at her a few moments before deciding to remove her traveling cloak and boots.

"I hope Solas will be here soon." Cole said softly.

Cullen looked at him. "Me too." He placed a hand on Cole's shoulder. "Come."

When he exited the bedroom with Cole in tow he found Alec and Dorian in a heated discussion, which immediately stopped when he came in. Dorian looked at him and frowned but otherwise didn't say anything. Cullen wondered what Alec had told him.

"Any idea when Solas is going to return?" He asked and went to the couch and dropping heavily into in. He groaned as his muscles immediately began to relax in the plush couch.

Dorian shrugged. "We were supposed to stay out until sunset looking. So I figure around then." He looked to Alec and back to Cullen. "You two should get a bath; you look and smell like you could use it."

"Thanks." Alec said dryly.

Dorian smiled. "Not that I don't love the smell on you, Amatus."

Alec shook his head in amusement. "I hope this isn't the only room."

"No, we have two more." Dorian's eyes ticked over to Cullen. "We assumed that our Commander wouldn't have a problem sleeping in the same bed and room as Rayne, and you and I could share one. Solas and Cole could share the third."

"I don't need a bed." Cullen said. "I could easily sleep here if need be." He sat up. "But a bath does sound nice."

"Well, since Rayne is resting, I doubt Solas will object to you using the tub in his room." Dorian turned to Alec. "I will take you to our room. Cole, I assume you can watch over Rayne by yourself."

"Yes." Cole nodded and sat on the floor outside the closed bedroom door.

An hour later Cullen was walking down the hall back to the room that Rayne was in. He hadn't intended to be gone so long, but he had unintentionally fallen asleep in the hot water, it was only after his head had nearly submerged under the water that he realized it. He rubbed a hand over his clean shaven cheek feeling better. He hadn't realized the beard he was starting, which explained the constant itching over the last two weeks. Having nothing else to wear, he had slipped back into his travel stained clothes.

He entered the room and frowned. Cole wasn't where they had left him and the door to the bedroom was closed. Cullen rushed to the door and nearly threw it open.

Solas was standing over Rayne's still form with his hands on either side of her head. His face screwed into a scowl of concentration. Cole sat cross legged at the bottom of the bed watching, Cullen noted that the boy was now clean as well. He turned when he heard Cullen.

"The Inquisitor and Dorian went to find you all clean clothes." He explained.

Cullen nodded and came further into the room. He watched Solas and Rayne, but saw no difference in her.

Solas released the magic he had been wielding and exhaled in frustration before opening his eyes. "Still nothing. I had thought perhaps being near her would help…" He grumbled.

"What does that mean?" Cullen asked.

Solas' eyes darted up as if surprised to find Cullen there.

"Does she have her mind?" Cullen asked.

"She does." Solas said looking back down. "That much I know for certain. But it's… like her dreams are being blocked."

"Alright. And what does that mean for her?"

"It means, Commander that I am going to have to travel into the Fade and find her the hard way." He looked back up. "But being close to her will help. We will wait for the others to return and eat. This may be a long night."


	49. Solas

“So, we’re just supposed to sit here and do nothing?” Cullen grumbled.

Solas looked to the Commander and frowned. “Yes. If anything goes wrong, you will know. If this doesn’t work… I’m unsure what we will do.”

Cullen’s frown deepened. Solas wondered what upset the Commander more: sitting idly by and doing nothing or the fact that it was Solas that was going on the hunt. He had felt the shift in Cullen concerning Rayne. There was anger and hurt in him, he tried to hide it, but Solas saw it in the way his eyes darkened and his body went rigid when he was forced to be near Rayne. Solas was unsure what had transpired between Cullen and Rayne since they left Skyhold, but it was obvious something had, and he hadn’t had the opportunity to ask the Inquisitor or even Cole.

Solas went to the bed and sat on the edge looking over Rayne as she lay unmoving, they had moved her to one side of the bed allowing him room on the other side. Concern filled him as he took in her features. She couldn’t last much longer in her current state. Whatever is was that had sustained her thus far was dwindling.

“Plan on staring at her all night?” Cullen said with an edge to his voice. Apparently even with his currently feelings for Rayne, he still felt jealous.

Solas sighed in annoyance, but didn’t say anything. He lay back on the soft pillows, arranging himself so he was comfortable.

“Should we try and wake you?” Alec asked. “If you’re gone for too long, that is?”

Solas shook his head. “No. I am in no danger. Either I will return with Rayne, or not. But it may take time. Just watch over our bodies and make sure nothing interferes.”

Alec nodded in understanding.

He took a deep calming breath and closed his eyes. He listened to the sound of his own breathing, lulling himself into a meditative state as he opened his mind to the Fade. It only took a few seconds for him to have his link. This was old hat for him; he could enter the Fade as easily as breathing now. The real challenge will be in trying to find Rayne.

Solas opened his eyes again and now found himself in the Fade. He looked around in front of him and then turned. He nearly jumped when he found a human elder in Templar armor standing behind him.

The man’s eyes narrowed as he studied Solas.

The elf stood straight. “Spirit, why are you here?” He frowned. “Wait, I recognize you… or more accurately, I recognize the face you have taken. From Rayne’s sketchbook.”

“I am Valor.” The spirit said. “And I am here to help. Just like I helped the last one.”

Solas’ frown deepened. “Other one?”

“The Commander.”

“Ah, of course.” Solas nodded in understanding. “Commander Cullen did mention something about a spirit aiding him. So, you know where Rayne is?”

Valor nodded. “I do. But… it is unusual. And I don’t think you will be welcome.”

Solas raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

Valor shrugged. “She is being protected.”

“Protected? By what?”

“Something old.” Was all Valor said and went down the path expecting Solas to follow.

Uncertainty clawed at him. But as he remembered Rayne’s state in the real world he pushed on after Valor. After a time Valor stopped in front of a door that stood out from the rest. Solas studied it closely. The fact that the door seemed _real_ and didn’t move like the rest was intriguing, glowing runes were carved into the frame. The color of the door was a warm gold and the closer Solas inspected it, he saw a distinct pattern. He focused on the pattern and realized it looked like scales.

He studied the runes next. The fact that they were nothing he had ever seen before was disconcerting. “Do you know what these mean?”

“No.” Valor said. “I only know they are old.”

That seemed to be Valor’s answer for everything circling around the enigma that had Rayne hidden. But the spirit wasn’t wrong in that regard.

With nothing else to do, Solas turned the knob and gently pushed it open. He frowned when all he found was a black void. He turned to Valor. “What is this?”

“That is where the mage is.”

His frown deepened. “There’s nothing there.”

Valor tilted his head. “You know the Fade, if there truly wasn’t anything there would it look like that?”

Solas turned back to the door. Valor was right. If the door didn’t truly lead anywhere it would have just opened up to reveal the surrounding area. “Her mind is blank.” Solas mumbled. “That was what Cole had said.”

Valor nodded. “She is being protected.”

“From what?”

“Pain.”

Solas glared into the darkness before him, hoping to penetrate the black and see what lay in wait. But there was nothing. No light, no movement. Taking a deep breath he walked through the threshold. The moment he entered he immediately felt the hostility. Valor was right, whatever was here ‘protecting’ Rayne, did not care for his presence. The fact nothing came out and attacked him he took as a good sign. But there was nothing in front of him but inky darkness, he summoned an orb of gentle light, but even that didn’t penetrate the darkness except for two feet around him.

He turned around to the door and was surprised to find it gone. But then he noticed a glow in the distance. Not having anywhere else to go, he slowly made his way to it. The closer he approached the greater the feeling of hostility grew, to a point where Solas nearly ran in the other direction, but he would not be deterred because with the feeling of resentment came another recognizable feeling.

Solas was unsure how long he walked. In the Fade, time was relative, but he finally made his destination and looked up gaping.

Floating above him was a golden glowing orb, and in its center was the form of a naked woman. “Rayne.” Solas breathed. She was in the fetal position, eyes closed tight. He studied the orb she was in. It was like nothing he had seen in the Fade or out. It was a ball of pure energy and it felt… alive. Indeed the anger he had been sensing came _from_ the orb. This explained why when he or Cole tried to touch her mind they felt nothing, the orb was containing all her thoughts, feelings… _everything_ , everything that made her who she was inside, kept away from anyone or anything.

Solas raised a hand slowly to the orb, hoping that contact with it would reveal how to release Rayne from her prison. **No, not prison.** Solas amended, remembering Valor’s words. **Protection.**

Before he even touched the orb he felt warmth, like what radiated from a body. In fact, he would have sworn that he felt a heartbeat. Could it have been coming from Rayne? Solas brought his hand closer…

Light flared from the orb the moment his hand brushed it. Solas yelled out in surprise as he was blinded and thrown back and landed on his back. It wasn’t far, but it was enough to daze him.

“Get. Out.” A low deep voice reverberated around him.

Gritting his teeth, Solas sat up and his jaw dropped as he saw a long serpentine form slide across the orb. The best way Solas could describe it, was it looked like how a snake looked swimming just below the surface of water. But this creature, whatever it was, was long enough to where its body coiled around the orb at least five times, perhaps more and its body was thicker around than he was. Its body wrapped around the orb in an almost possessive manner.

Solas slowly stood never taking his eyes off the orb.

The orb flared again, but not nearly as bright. The body moved around the orb until something that looked like a reptilian head was now facing Solas. It slowly opened its eyes, deep warm golden orbs of pure light… that looked at Solas with hate. “Get. Out.” The voice said again.

Solas realized it was the serpent that was speaking. “Spirit… I mean you, and Rayne… no harm.”

“Your very presence does harm.” The serpent’s voice rumbled around him. “Do not think I don’t know what you are, Old One.”

Solas’ blood went cold. But he kept his face calm. “I don’t know…”

“LIAR!” The spirit roared, causing Solas to flinch from the volume. “Do not lie to me.”

Solas swallowed past the lump in his throat, but held his ground. “Very well. Then know that I speak the truth in that I want to help.”

The serpent’s eyes narrowed. “You cannot. Leave deceiver.”

“I cannot…”

“LEAVE!” The serpent roared and lunged at Solas.

* * *

 

Solas yelled and bolted up. His breathing was ragged and everything was unfocused, sweat dripped from him.

“Solas!” A voice called that seemed far away. “Solas!”

He blinked and collected his thoughts. Agonizingly slowly, everything came into focus and Alec’s face filled his vision.

Alec’s eyes were wide with shock and worry. “Are you alright?”

Solas looked around. Dorian and Cole stood at the side of the bed were Rayne still lay unconscious and Cullen stood at the end of the bed with his hands gripping the frame.

He rubbed his head from the pressure he felt there. It had been a very long time since he had been forcibly removed from the Fade by another creature. “I am… well.” He finally said. He looked back to Alec. “Rayne, was there any change? Anything?”

Alec shook his head. “Nothing. Same as before.”

“Did you find her?” Cullen asked.

Solas moved himself to the edge of the bed. “Yes.”

Alec brightened. “That’s good!”

Solas remained quiet.

“Isn’t it?”

He closed his eyes thinking of the encounter. Whatever that being was, it somehow knew what Solas was. Deceiver is what the serpent had called him. But he knew it had nothing to do with anything past. It was due to his lies now. And that made Solas a threat. And he wondered: if this creature knew what he was, did Rayne? And if she did, why hasn’t she said anything?

“Solas?” Cullen asked.

He took a deep breath and turned to the Commander. “It is good, we just have… a complication. One you are going to have to remedy, Commander.”

Cullen looked at him in confusion.


	50. Cullen

“Walk me through again why _I’m_ the one that has to go?” Cullen grumbled as he sat on the edge of the bed.

Solas sighed in exasperation. “Because the serpent does not trust me.”

“I’m still not understanding why _I_ am being sent back into the Fade.” He nodded. “We do have two other mages here.”

“We don’t know what kind of effect the Anchor will have on doing this.” Alec said waving his hand.

“And I’m Tevinter.” Dorian said.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Cullen asked with a frown.

“After what she just went through, do you think this creature will let me anywhere near her?” He smirked. “Would you if you weren’t taken in by my charms?”

Alec rolled his eyes.

Solas shook his head. “And of all those here, you have the strongest connection to her.”

Cullen was getting really tired of hearing that. “I just don’t relish in being trapped in another dream that I will have to escape again.” **Especially if it’s anything like the last one.** He thought. Cullen didn’t know if he would have the strength to leave that again.

“You won’t have to.” Solas reassured. “My spell will take you in the Fade, instead of having lyrium send you there.”

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at Rayne. He had once told himself he would do anything for her, and he had meant it. He still did. He finally sighed in resignation and lay down. “Let’s get this over with.”

Solas nodded and came to his side. “Remember,” He said placing his hands around Cullen’s head. “You need to convince this serpent that you are no threat.”

“Because a Templar is never a threat to a mage.” He said with dry sarcasm.

“I’m sure you’ll think of something. Close your eyes.”

Cullen did as he was instructed.

He felt a warmth seep into him, it felt sliding into a warm bath.

* * *

 

“I was starting to wonder if they were ever going to send you.”

Cullen blinked and suppressed a groan as he found Valor waiting for him. “You knew I was coming?”

“Did I know? No. I didn’t know if you all would be smart enough to.”

“If you knew that I was the one required here, why didn’t you tell that to Solas instead of allowing him to go?” Cullen snapped.

“I tried to tell him. I told him that he wouldn’t be welcome.”

Cullen shook his head and turned and found the door that Solas had described. “This is the door then?”

“Yes.”

“Will I be welcome?”

Valor hesitated. “It is… unclear.”

“Wonderful.” He mumbled. Not knowing what to expect he eased the door open. It was just as Solas told him it would be, the only difference was he didn’t feel the hostility that the elf had. In fact, he felt uncertainty, hesitancy. He looked back to Valor.

The spirit simply watched him, offering no words of wisdom.

“All on me then?” Cullen asked.

“As it always is.” Valor said gravely. “Go. Be victorious.”

Cullen was about to turn and then stopped. “Did you know Gregoir? The man whose face you wear?”

“A warrior worthy of respect. As you are. He was proud of the man you became.”

Cullen’s throat constricted in emotion, he nodded and turned back to the doorway and stepped through. He immediately turned back and watched as the door disappeared and saw a glow in the distance. Not wasting any time he went to it. It didn’t take long to reach the orb.

Cullen studied it, looking for the spirit, but saw nothing. “Great.” He mumbled. “Now what?” He frowned and waited, watching Rayne within. She looked peaceful, serene.

“Hello?” He called. His voice echoed around him. “That’s not unnerving in the least.” He said sarcastically. There was still nothing. “How do I get you out of there, Rayne?” He asked softly.

“Perhaps,” A deep voice said. “She does not wish to leave.”

Cullen tried to keep his face still as he saw the form of the serpent emerge from the orb and look down at him with eyes that seemed to penetrate the soul. “And why would she want to stay here?”

“No pain.”

**_All I do is cause pain._** Cullen remembered her saying. “Her pain? Or the pain of others?”

“Yes.”

“That’s helpful.” Cullen mumbled. “What do I call you?”

The spirit did not answer.

“You are a spirit, are you not?”

“I am.” It rumbled.

“So you must have a virtue you embody. Like Valor.”

“No.”

Cullen groaned, he was getting an increasing headache. Could you even get headaches in dreams? Was this even a dream? It didn’t feel like the rest of the Fade. He pushed the thoughts to the side, he was getting side tracked.

“I am much older.” The spirit said. “A name lost. A self found through the soul of Purpose.”

**He’s as cryptic as Cole.** Cullen thought to himself. “Alright. I will call you Serpent.”

“Dragon.”

“Come again?”

“I am no serpent.” It hissed. “I am a dragon.”

“Very well… Dragon.” He looked to Rayne. “Are you her protector, or her jailor?”

The dragon’s eyes flared in anger and he lunged at Cullen.

He fell backwards, landing heavily on the ground. The dragon glowered above him and growled deep in its throat. “I am not a jailor of mages! Unlike you, _Templar.”_

Cullen swallowed down the lump in his throat. “I’m no Templar.”

The dragon narrowed his eyes. “Do _not_ lie to me.” It hissed. “I sense it in your blood.”

“I’m not lying. I left the Templar Order.”

The dragon studied him closely. “Truth.” He pulled back to the orb.

“And how do you know I’m telling you the truth?” Cullen asked hesitantly.

The dragon made a deep rumbling sound within its chest, which Cullen realized was laughter. “Her memories. Your spirit.”

Cullen didn’t know how he felt about something entering Rayne’s memories, especially with the ones with him in them. He rose back to his feet. “She is needed in the real world. She cannot last much longer in her current state.”

The dragon seemed to debate his words. “And I ask again: why should she return?”

“How about for her son?” He snapped.

The dragon tilted its head. “He is better with his father. Safer. Happier.”

“He’s _happier_ with his mother. And he sure as Hell won’t be happy if she dies!”

“He will learn to be. He is young.”

Cullen shook his head and growled.

The dragon waited patiently. For what exactly, Cullen didn’t know.

“She is needed in the Inquisition.” Cullen finally offered.

“The Inquisition did fine enough without her before,” It rumbled. “It will do so again after she is gone.”

“And what about her friends?!” He finally yelled. “Those that care for her! _They need her!”_ He paused catching his breath, his anger and frustration getting the better of him.

The dragon studied him again and then slowly lowered its head down to Cullen. “And what of you?”

Cullen scowled. “What about me?”

“You claim her friends will need her. But what of you?”  The dragon moved, slowly circling Cullen, coiling around him. “You know her truth, she is what you despise, and she saw it in your eyes.”

Cullen tried to keep from cringing as the dragon continued to twist around him; he had seen snakes do similar things when killing their prey, to crush the life out of them before eating them. He had to replay the dragon’s words in his head because he had been distracted. “I do know.”

The dragon stopped moving and brought his face so close to Cullen’s that he would have been able to kiss it if he chose. “So what of you, Cullen Rutherford? Why would she want to return to a world where you hate her?”

Cullen dropped his gaze from the dragon’s piercing golden orbs. “I don’t hate her.” He said softly. “As much as… I’m…”

“Hurt.” The dragon snapped.

Cullen closed his eyes and nodded. “Hurt. No matter the pain over learning the truth, I could never hate her. It’s not in me to hate Rayne.”

There was a long pause before the dragon spoke. “Truth.” It rumbled. “Tell me this: your Chantry… your _Maker_ , says those like her are to be put to the sword, will it be your sword that falls on her?”

Cullen’s head bolted up in surprise. “No!”

“You would defy your Maker?” It asked.

Cullen’s jaw clenched and he lowered his gaze again.

The dragon waited patiently, it had all the time in the world to wait for an honest answer.

Cullen’s emotions churned within him. This was the same question he had asked himself a decade ago at the Tower when their young budding love was starting. As a Templar he was to keep himself aloof from the mages, in case one turned corrupt and had to be slain. It was forbidden for anyone of the Chantry –  sister, Templar, Revered Mother… anyone to be romantically involved with a mage since they were deemed cursed souls. A necessary evil in their world.

Knowing all this didn’t stop him from gaining Rayne’s friendship, her adolescent love and then a decade later her passion. He had gone against everything he had been taught all his life, which was driven more into him when he joined the Templars when he was thirteen. Rayne had taught him that not all mages were evil; they could be beautiful and caring and filled with more light than any Templar or member of the Chantry. Surely… _surely_ the Maker had never met a mage like Rayne or else he would not have made caring for them a sin.

**The Maker knows my sin…** Cullen thought, bile rising in his throat that he had to swallow down. Those were the words he had said to her when she rescued him from the tower. Those words sickened him now.

**_You would defy your Maker?_** The dragon had asked.

“I would.” Cullen finally said in a voice barely above a whisper.

The dragon began to glow brighter and then burst into small orbs of glittering light. Cullen watched in wonder as the orbs went to the one that still housed Rayne within and entered going to her. The orbs penetrated her body. Once every last one of them entered her the area lit up with a brilliant flash.

Cullen was forced to shut his eyes and turn away or risk being blinded. When the light finally vanished, he blinked and opened his eyes and turned back. He gasped.

Rayne stood before him, but she looked like how the dragon had: nothing but pure golden energy. She walked to him until she was forced to tilt her head to keep eye contact. “Tell me.” She said in a voice that was a mix of hers and the dragons.

Cullen studied her a few moments. “If loving you is a sin, Rayne, I will continue to do so. Not loving you… that would be a greater sin. Even if the Maker himself came to me and told me that I could never be with you again, and I had to cut you down… I would deny him.” He brought a hand to her branded cheek – brands, that at the moment he couldn’t see but knew were there. “I love you, and that is a burden I will gladly carry ‘til the day I die.”

Rayne lowered her gaze. “Cullen…” She said softly. Her face came back to his.

Cullen’s eyes widened as she began brighten.


	51. Trevelyan

Alec sat on the floor with Dorian’s head resting in his lap, worry knotting in his stomach.

“You’re going to give yourself wrinkles if you continue to worry so much _, Amatus_.” Dorian teased.

Alec looked down to his lover. “And we can’t have that, can we?”

Dorian smiled wickedly. “I don’t know. I have a thing for older men.”

Alec shook his head and returned his gaze to the forms lying on the bed.

Cole sat with his legs crossed at the bottom of the bed looking over Rayne and Cullen’s still forms. The fact that Cullen wasn’t immediately sent back like Solas had been they had taken as a good sign. But they were now going on an hour, and neither the Commander nor Rayne had come back to them.

Solas paced near the door with a frown on his face. The elf had said it may take time to convince the spirit to release Rayne, but Alec could tell that even he was starting to grow worried. Had he sent Cullen into the Fade to end up like Rayne? Had the spirit done something else entirely to him?

Cole assured them that Cullen wasn’t taken like Rayne; he could still sense the Commander’s thoughts and emotions. So, that was a good thing at least.

Alec rubbed his eye as he stifled a yawn. He had still yet to sleep and the bed that he and Dorian were going to be sharing was calling his name. Unfortunately, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t keep his eyes from drooping.

He must have fallen briefly asleep. Because the next thing he knew he was being startled awake by the sounds of a whimper and Cole gasping.

“She’s coming back.” Cole said softly.

Dorian easily rose to his feet in one movement and helped Alec off the floor, his body in full rebellion. Solas rushed to the bed and stood at the end.

Alec went over to Rayne’s side while Dorian went over to Cullen’s. He gasped as he watched Rayne’s body go rigid and a pained look came to her as her lyrium brands began to glow.

Alec turned to Solas. “What’s happening?” He demanded.

Solas shrugged. “I know not.”

“No more marks.” Cole said hauntingly, Alec recognized it as him reading someone else’s mind. “They will no longer have claim over purpose.”

“Purpose?” Solas asked.

No one had an answer

Alec’s eyes widened as the lyrium in her cheek continued to not only brighten, but looked like they were… melting. “Sweet blood of Andraste…”

“Someone please tell me I’m not the only one seeing this.” Dorian said in shock.

“You’re not the only one.” Alec said lightly.

He watched as the lyrium slid out of red wounds on her face and slowly ran down her cheek like glowing blue tears until it was dripping onto the pillow. Soon all the lyrium was removed from her face, leaving nothing but red angry lines where they had once been. Alec choked down bile as he finally saw just how much damage Galerius had done to her all those years ago. Layers of flesh completely removed, leaving only a thin layer to keep from just having a hole into her mouth in some areas.

“Maker…” Dorian breathed. “I had no idea…”

Alec jumped as Cullen groaned and lifted his heavy eye lids. “Rayne…” He said hoarsely.

“She’s waking up.” Alec said. “But, Cullen, something is happening.”

Cullen blinked rapidly and shot into a sitting position. He looked over Rayne and gasped, he turned to Alec. “What happened?” His voice was frantic.

Alec shrugged helplessly. “It just _happened._ We…”

“Look.” Cole said. He seemed completely un-phased by what was happening.

Alec looked back down and his jaw nearly dropped as he saw flesh growing to fill in her wounds. Within moments the only thing marking what had once been there was new pink skin in the same pattern as her brand. But Alec knew that the pink would eventually go away too, thus leaving no trace of what had marked her.

They all exchanged glances.

Solas gently moved Alec out of the way and brought his hands to Rayne’s head. His hands began to glow. After a few moments of silence, he released the magic and opened his eyes. “She… is whole again.” His eyes went to Cole. “Repeat what you just told us.”

“No more marks. They will no longer have claim over purpose.”

Cullen frowned. “The spirit… dragon. Whatever it was. He had said something…” He frowned in thought. “’ I am much older. A name lost. A self found through the soul of Purpose.’”

Alec looked down to Rayne. “I’m guessing… she is Purpose.” His eyes went to Cole. “Similar to how you call Cassandra ‘Faith’?”

Cole nodded.

Solas rubbed his chin in thought. “There have been many revelations today.” He looked to the rest of the group. “And we are all tired.”

“What about Rayne?” Cullen asked.

“She will wake when she is ready.”


	52. Amell

**That is a burden I will gladly carry ‘til the day I die.**

Those words echoed in her head and seemed to bring her peace and lifted her from shadows that cradled her close like a lover. She did not wish to leave it, but feelings of safety and warm care urged her on. From the shadows she fell into blissful sleep of dreams of golden light.

“Rayne?” A new voice called. This one seemed closer, but muffled. “Warden, you must waken.”

She groaned as she was slowly pulled from her sleep, the weight of her own body came to her, after the feeling of nothingness she found her own body weight constricting. Each breath felt painful as if she hadn’t had to use her lungs in a long time.

Rayne tried to open her heavy eyelids. She managed to just a crack, before turning her head away and groaning.

“The light.” Another new voice said. “It hurts.”

She recognized that voice. It was the one that took her by the hand and led her to the shadows when she felt lost and alone.

A gentle hand touched her upper arm.

With what little strength she could muster, Rayne opened her eyes and stared into pale blue ones. She knows this person, doesn’t she?

The boy continued to study her with concern in his eyes.

“Cole.” Rayne breathed. Yes, that was his name. A spirit.

Rayne frowned as a memory tickled at her mind, but the more she tried to grasp onto it the more it slipped away like quicksilver through her fingers.

A sigh of relief came from behind her. “What a relief.”

She turned and narrowed her eyes. “Solas?”

The elf smiled warmly. He grabbed a chair and brought it closer to the bed. “I’m sorry, but we needed to get you awake. You have been without nourishment for some time.” He turned to Cole. “Can you go to the kitchens and get something, Cole? Some light fare?”

Cole nodded and hopped off the bed, moving through the now dark room only a small candle acted as any sort of illumination.

Once he was gone Solas turned back to her and worry etched his features. “How are you feeling, _da’len?”_

Rayne groaned and tried sitting up, her body felt stiff. “I feel more like a _hahren.”_

Solas gave her an amused smile and helped sit her up, gently lifting her and then taking pillows and placing them behind her and then placing a gentle hand on her shoulder after he was finished. “Glad to see your knowledge of the elven language was not lost.”

She looked at him in confusion. “Why would it?”

He studied her a few moments. “What is the last thing you remember?”

Rayne frowned. “I…” She was cut off as the door to her room was opened.

Solas frowned and turned to their intruders.

Alec and Dorian rushed in.

“Rayne.” Alec said, relief heavy in his voice and eyes. “Thank the Maker.”

“I’m pretty sure the Maker had nothing to do with it.” Rayne replied with a smirk.

Dorian shook his head. “Glad to see you’re still you.”

“Something I was in the middle of investigating.” Solas said in obvious annoyance. “She shouldn’t be bombarded with visitors.”

Rayne gently patted Solas on his hand. “I’m fine.”

“Besides, it’s only the two of us.” Alec said.

“Three.” A new voice said.

Rayne dragged her eyes to the door and found Cullen standing in the doorway, his face impassive.

“Where are we?” She finally asked.

“Cumberland.” Solas said.

She frowned and rubbed her face trying to work out the fatigue in her head. Her eyes widened as she felt both her cheeks. They both were… smooth. Her heartbeat quickened in anxiety. She gently traced her cheek where her brands _should_ have been. “Wha—“

Alec took her free hand. “Rayne, some things happened since Minrathous. What is the last thing you remember?”

Rayne barely heard him. “A mirror.”

Alec tilted his head in confusion.

“Please, get me a mirror.”

Alec exchanged glances with Dorian. Finally he nodded.

The Tevinter went to a dresser and picked up a small ornate mirror and brought it back to her. “Just try to stay calm.” He said before handing it to her.

Rayne took the mirror faced down, her hands slightly shaking. She took a deep steadying breath before slowly flipping it over and raising it to look at her reflection. She gasped as she took in her sunken in cheeks and black eyes, but it was the missing lyrium that had once been carved into her flesh that unsettled her the most. There wasn’t a single mark that they had even been there.

She raised her eyes and looked to all the faces around her. “How…”

Alec shrugged. “We don’t know. It just… happened after you were brought back.”

She frowned. “Back?”

Before anyone could answer Cole came up behind Cullen with a tray in his hands. His face was screwed in a look of complete concentration as he made sure not to drop anything that was on it.

Dorian rushed to the boy. “Here.” He offered and took the tray before taking it to the night stand next to her.

Rayne studied its contents. A small bowl of steaming soup that smelled of beef, but from what it looked like didn’t actually have any meat in it, mostly broth and a few well-cooked chopped vegetables. Fresh squeezed orange juice and lightly buttered toast.

Solas inspected the food and nodded. “Very good, Cole.” He turned his gray-blue eyes back to Rayne. “Now then, the question you haven’t answered yet: what do you remember?”

She frowned and rubbed her head. “I… remember…” She closed her eyes. “A nightmare. Trapped in the Fade with Galerius… Alerio, he sent me there. He…” Her eyes snapped open and she looked to Cullen as memories of Alerio came back to her. “Cullen…” She said softly.

His attempt at passiveness fell away as he diverted his eyes and turned. “I’m glad you are awake,” He said over his shoulder. “And able to remember some things.” He grabbed the door and shut it softly behind him.

Rayne’s throat constricted and she looked down at her hands.

“What has gotten into him?” Dorian huffed.

“Dorian…” Alec said softly.

“No, ever since you all arrived here, he has been acting broody. And while that can be a complete turn on in other situations, this is directed at Rayne.”

“He knows.” Rayne choked out.

“Knows?” Solas asked. “Knows what?”

Rayne opened and closed her hands in her lap like she was trying desperately to control her emotions. “He knows I’m a blood mage.” She said hoarsely.

Dorian let out a bark of laughter. “Of course you are, my dear. And I’m the Empress of Orlais.”

The room filled with uncomfortable silence.

“You’re… serious.” Dorian said with uncertainty.

She felt Solas sit next to her. “All this time you’ve kept it secret, why?”

Rayne looked at him out of the corner of her eye. “Do you really have to ask?” Her eyes went to Dorian who had a dumbstruck look on his face. “It’s not exactly a magical practice that is looked fondly upon.”

“But… to keep it from us?” Solas asked. He almost sounded hurt. “Some of us are not against the use of blood magic.”

She took a deep breath and lifted her head. “There is an old saying: three can keep a secret, as long as two are dead. The less people that knew about it the better. If it was something I wasn’t going to share with Cullen, what makes you think I would share it with anyone else?” She asked honestly.

Solas slightly flinched. A response that confused Rayne. She hadn’t meant the question to sound malicious.

She felt a presence come close behind her. She turned and frowned as Dorian leaned in close with his eyes narrowed. “Can I help you?” She asked in annoyance.

“Are you sure you’re a blood mage?”

“Fairly certain.” She said dryly.

Dorian continued to study her with doubt in his eyes. “You have no scars marking you as a blood mage. I’ve never seen you summon demons or spirits.”

Rayne rubbed her head. “You don’t have to summon demons to be a blood mage, being from Tevinter, you would think you would know that.”

“Dorian, give her the juice.” Solas ordered. “She needs some sugar in her system.”

Dorian quickly handed her the glass that was slightly cold to the touch. She studied the rune engraved in the crystal. Rayne hesitated drinking it, feeling ill.

“Please, Rayne.” Solas softly encouraged her. “I know your stomach will protest, but you need something in it.”

With a heavy sigh she pushed down the nausea and slowly drank. Unfortunately it didn’t take long before she had to stop, bile rose to her throat and she had to force herself not to be sick. She closed her eyes trying to ease the sickness away.

 A warm touch that began to radiate inside of her helped.

She took a shaky breath and opened her eyes. She gave Solas a genuine smile. “Thank you.”

He smiled and nodded. “I will help however I can.”

Alec cleared his throat. “Not to interrupt or anything…” Annoyance lacing his words. “But you don’t remember anything else?”

“Pain.” Rayne said. “I remember a lot of pain.”

Alec scowled. “You _killed_ yourself, Rayne!” He snapped.

“Obviously not enough.”

“Only because Cole and I brought you back.” He growled. “What were you thinking?”

Her eyes went to the shuttered window. “That I wouldn’t let him take anymore of me.” She said softly.

 

 

She wasn’t really sleeping. More of a meditative trance, tapping into magic and trying to heal her body faster, it was risky in her current state but she couldn’t stand being in closed quarters with Cullen and the hurt in his eyes. The others had long since left, Dorian and Alec went back to bed since Alec was still trying to catch up on any sleep he had missed since their flee from Minrathous. Solas and Cole left, albeit reluctantly on the elf’s part. It took coaxing from Cole to get him to leave. Rayne believed Cole felt how uneasy Solas was making her with his protectiveness.

Cullen on the other hand…

She had not seen him since she first woke up. He avoided coming near her door like it was the plague. But she knew he slept on the couch in the living area, and if should she needed anything he would come – no doubt reluctantly. Rayne knew it had to be her imagination, but she swore she could feel his glare through the wall and door.

She frowned at that thought. She was definitely feeling like she was being watched, and she doubted it was from Cullen who was no doubt asleep. Rayne opened her eyes and caught a shadow out of the corner of her eye.

She smiled. “How long have you been there?”

Cole leaned forward on the chair he had been perched on. “A while.”

Rayne turned fully to him. “Didn’t we talk about your lurking?”

He shrugged. “I didn’t want to bother you.”

She leaned back against her pillow. “Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?”

“I don’t need as much sleep as the others.”

“Fair enough.” She studied him. “I’m surprised you’re in here with me. Alone.”

Cole tilted his head. “Why?”

“Me being a blood mage doesn’t bother you?”

“I have always known.” He said, as if it should have been obvious. Which, in truth, it should have been.

Rayne chuckled and rubbed her neck. “Of course. How foolish of me. But you never told the others?”

“You didn’t want them to know.”

“No.” She said softly. “I didn’t.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a while before Cole spoke again. “You didn’t eat.”

Rayne’s eyes went to her untouched tray. “My stomach fought me.” Her eyes went back to him and she saw the worry. “Don’t fret so much, I’ll be fine. With the healing I was doing I’ll no doubt be able to eat tomorrow. Have my normal healthy Warden appetite back.”

Cole’s eyes went to the closed door. “He’s upset. Hurting.”

“He is.” Rayne didn’t have to even guess who he was walking about.

He looked to her. “Why? I don’t understand.”

She sighed and patted her bed. “May as well make yourself comfortable.”

Cole seemed to contemplate this offer before slowly lowering his legs to the floor and taking off his hat. He placed it on the chair and then climbed into the bed since there was plenty of room.

Rayne took a few moments to consider her answer to him. “I… think more than anything, I have disappointed him. Learning that I’m someone like Uldred, it’s difficult.” She didn’t need to elaborate on who Uldred was. Beside herself and Leliana – since she was there – Cole was one of the only ones in the Inquisition to know what happened during the Blight.

Cole frowned. “But… you’re not like him.”

“I like to think I’m not.”

“You’re not.” Cole said more forcefully. “He hurt people. Killed people. People important to you and Cullen. You. You are you. You help, heal, protect.”

“Sometimes when you want to help, you end up hurting people.”

“They deserved it though.”

Rayne chuckled. “Maybe.”

“Everyone else was shocked when they learned. Not hurt. Why does he hurt?”

“Because he cared.” She said softly.

Cole laid his head on her shoulder. “I don’t understand.”

“Sometimes… those that you love and care for the most are the ones that hurt you the most. Not always intentionally. Because you care for them. So, when they don’t live up to your…” She paused, thinking of the proper word. “Expectations, you disappoint them and you become someone new in their eyes.”

“But you’re not.” He said softly.

Rayne sighed. “No, I’m not. But I am to him. I’m no longer the innocent mage girl he knew. I’m now something like the creature that hurt him.”

Cole was silent as he took all that in. “Caring is confusing.”

She laughed. “I won’t argue with you there.”


	53. Cullen/Amell

He stared up at the stone ceiling unable to sleep. Which shouldn’t be anything really new. But it wasn’t due to lyrium withdrawal that he had trouble sleeping since their run from Minrathous. No, his mind was too much in turmoil. Unbidden memories swam in his head.

Memories of him and Rayne, times that he should have seen what she truly was. But he had chosen to ignore it. Cullen didn’t want to see it; he didn’t want to believe it. He thought back to the training session with Lobek and wondered if the stunt she had pulled with him truly hadn’t been blood magic. She had claimed that it was elemental magic. But he had never seen an elementalist do such a thing, and now he wasn’t so sure.

Cullen sighed heavily. Perhaps what really had his mind whirling was the fact that with this new knowledge he didn’t know what that meant for them. He had meant what he said to the spirit, no matter what Rayne was he would always love her, and that was his burden to bear. But did that love mean he could over look everything? Could he even have the friendship they once had? Could he have her in his life now?

He shook his head and sat up swinging his legs off the couch he was using as a bed. He rested his elbows on his legs and dropped his head into his hands. “What a mess.” He mumbled to himself. He finally raised his head and looked to the closed door that led to the bedroom.

Cullen sat there and debated with himself. He should check on her to make sure everything is alright. He knew if Rayne needed anything or if something was wrong she wouldn’t make it known, not while he was in his current mood and just because of her stubbornness.

He finally rose and silently went to the door and pressed his ear to it. He heard nothing within, which wasn’t a big surprise. As gently and as quietly as he could, he opened the door and pushed it open. The door opened on well-oiled hinges. The only light in the room was a small candle on the nightstand next to the bed that cast dancing shadows on two figures in the bed.

Cullen couldn’t help the soft smile that came to his face. Rayne lay on her back fast asleep, he noted that her face didn’t seem as sunken in and her eyes weren’t as black. But it would still take time for her to be back to normal. Cole laid curled up next to her, his head on her abdomen like a pillow; his head gently rising and falling as her stomach rose and fell from breathing.

He quietly entered and went to the bed. He simply watched the two of them peacefully sleep for a time just lost in thought. Finally he looked around the room until he found a light blanket and then he gently laid it over Rayne and Cole as best as possible in their current positions. After he went and grabbed the food tray that still had all the food on it and blew out the candle, using only the light pouring in through the open door to guide himself to it.

Cullen turned and looked over them one last time before grabbing the door and quietly closing it behind him.

* * *

* * *

 

“How in Andraste’s name were you ever able to leave Tevinter with your stomach?” She asked in amusement as she stood beside Dorian as he leaned over the side of the ship, making sure she was upwind.

They had been at sea for about three days after spending five in Cumberland to not only let Rayne fully recoup but to wait for their ship to arrive. Dorian had requested they just take the long route, but they were pressed for time. Alec had been away from the Inquisition too long and people back home were starting to take notice.

Dorian groaned. “I hate the sea.” Another sickening retch reached her ears.

Rayne shook her head. “My offer still stands. I can always put you in a deep sleep until we reach Jader.”

The Tevinter raised himself up and draped over the railing. She had never seen him so pale; he looked whiter than she was. “And have you take advantage of my comatose body?”

“Well, you are hard to resist. That deathly pale skin and vomit at the side of your lip.”

Another swell rocked the ship.

Dorian turned green and he leaned back over the rail, heaving into the sea.

“How is he today?” Called Alec as he came from below deck.

“Stubborn. As always.”

Dorian groaned. “Maker, kill me now.”

“Dorian, love,” Alec said coming closer. “Let Rayne help. At this rate you’re going to be dead before we reach Jader. I promise I won’t do _too_ many unsavory things to you.”

Dorian slowly turned and collapsed onto the deck. “Oh, let the maleficar conserve her strength.”

Rayne rolled her eyes. “Say it a little louder, I don’t think the fish heard you.”

Dorian brought his hand to his mouth trying to hold down whatever was left in his stomach. “Oh please, do you honestly think anyone would believe it if I told them you were a blood mage. Varric’s nickname for you is very apt.”

“There is more than one type of angel.” She quipped.

Dorian began to turn green again.

Alec looked at her and nodded. He knelt to be eye level with Dorian. “Dorian, love.”

The Tevinter tried focusing on Alec. “What is it, _Amatus_?”

“Know that I do this because I care.”

Dorian frowned. “Do wha…”

Rayne grasped his shoulder and plunged into his mind. It was quick, other than the feeling of his nausea swimming over her. She went to the back of his mind and pulled sleep to the front. She pulled out and looked down at a passed out Dorian.

Alec sighed and stood. “Thank you. He will be angry later but… uh, Rayne are you alright?”

Rayne closed her eyes and held up a finger. “Just… uh…” Nausea rolled over her. “Side effect of going into a sickened…”  She spun over the railing and retched into the sea what had once been her breakfast.

“Oh, Maker! Rayne I’m sorry. Had I known…”

She waved him away. “It won’t last long.” She groaned and pressed her head against the railing. “Cole!” She called

Within moments he was scaling down the mast where he liked to go sit in the crow’s nest. Rayne was actually very surprised that Cole wasn’t feeling any effects of being at sea when they set out, granted she didn’t know if he being a spirit played a factor. Cole had told her that being on a ship had actually felt like being in the Fade and he found it pleasant. She made a mental note to take the boy sailing in the future.

“Cole, will you help Alec get Dorian below deck to his hammock? I’ll be down shortly to oversee him.”

Cole nodded and went to Dorian’s feet as Alec grabbed him under the arms. Together they lifted him and carried him to the doorway leading below deck, nearly running into Solas in the process.

Solas watched them and shook his head. He saw her and came to her side. “Don’t tell me you’re now seasick.”

Rayne took deep breaths through her nose and out through her mouth to settle her roiling stomach. “Feeling side effects from being in Dorian’s seasick head.”

“Ah. That explains him being carried away. Finally relent did he?”

“Uh… sortof.”

Solas chuckled. “I’ll just not ask. How long will this last?”

“Maker, I hope not long. I just got my strength back, I don’t need this.”

“Here.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. “This should help take off the edge at least.”

A cooling sensation spread throughout her body, her raging stomach began to slowly calm. She still felt sick, but she no longer felt the urge retch. She raised her head and took a deep breath of the salt air and then looked to Solas. “Thank you. That feels so much better.”

He smiled and nodded, keeping his hand on her shoulder to continue administering his spell.

Rayne turned to lean against the railing, causing Solas’ hand to have to change shoulders. Her eyes went to the bow of the ship.

Cullen stood with his back turned to her, his hand clasped easily behind his back. The wind and sea spray made it impossible for him to keep his usual soft waves in his hair, he had given up on trying on their first voyage and just had to grit his teeth as his natural curls ran rampart. So, on this trip he didn’t even try. It was so strange seeing him with the curls that she remembered from their youth.

“Still not speaking?” Solas asked softly.

“No.” She said sadly. “I’m beginning to wonder if he ever will.”

“Give him time, Rayne.” He said assuredly. “It’s a lot for him to take in.”

“I know. But I also know that nothing will be the same between us now.” She felt her heart crack at the thought.

Cullen had always been a part of her life. She realized this months ago after the encounter with Lobek. One way or another Cullen had been there and she didn’t realize until then that he had been a rock for her, even after the events during the Blight. He was always the constant in her life. And now she possibly lost him in all senses of the word.

Solas gently rubbed the pad of his thumb on her bare shoulder sensing her melancholy. “Give it time.” He said softly.

Rayne stared down at the deck below her. So lost in thought that she wasn’t aware that Solas’ hand had move from her shoulder to the small of her back until she felt his fingers dance across the bare skin there.

Her head shot up and glared at him. “What are you doing?”

He tilted his head. “Nothing.” He said in confusion. “Simply helping with your stomach, remember?”

Rayne frowned.

Solas continued to stare at her in what looked like genuine confusion.

Finally she shook her head. “I… need to go below and check on Dorian. Set him up for the last day of our journey… hopefully.”

He nodded and removed his hand from her back. The cooling sensation left her. “You are well?”

She waited a few moments but the feeling of intense nausea didn’t come back. She smiled and nodded. “Looks like. Thank you again.”

Solas bow his head. “My pleasure.”

Rayne turned from him, her eyes fell back on Cullen and her smile vanished.

He was turned towards her now, his eyes briefly flicked back and forth between her and Solas before turning back around.

* * *

 

“Are you sure you don’t want us to wait for you?” Alec asked.

Rayne gently smacked Elgar’s backside.

The saber bolted from her and ran to hunt.

“She’ll be fine.” Cullen started curtly.

Rayne turned back to Alec who was frowning at his commander. “Don’t worry, Alec.” She said assuredly. “Besides, I think you have to be our apology voice to Dorian.”

Dorian scoffed and started riding ahead.

Alec sighed and gave Rayne a lopsided smile. “Thanks.”

She turned to Cole who stood beside her. “You sure you don’t want to go with them?”

He shook his head. “I want to stay.”

“I would be happy to stay as well.” Solas offered. “Or we can ride two to a saddle until Elgar returns.

Rayne tried to keep her face pleasant. “Go. You lot are needed at Skyhold far more than I am. Besides, I have to go through evasive maneuvers.”

“Evasive maneuvers?” Alec asked.

“For Leliana.”

He chuckled. “Alright.”

“If we’re ready?” Cullen asked as he fidgeted with his gloves, now wearing his full armor.

Alec sighed heavily and gave Rayne a smile. “See you soon.”

“Oh, one other thing.” She looked at Cullen. “Can you… look in on Ghost for me? Since you’ll be arriving at Skyhold before I do.”

Cullen’s neutral façade finally crumbled turning sad. He finally looked at her. “Of course.” He said softly.

“Thank you.”

He nodded and then gently touched the horses’ side sending it into a trot.

“Safe travels.” Rayne said to the rest of them.

She and Cole just stood there for a short time watching them as their figures dwindled in the distance.

“You know,” Rayne finally said. “You didn’t have to stay.”

“I wanted to.” Cole said.

She smirked and gave his a sidelong glance. “Making sure I don’t run.”

Cole turned to her and just stared.

She placed a hand on his shoulder and started walking. “Don’t worry, Cole. I wouldn’t have run like that.”

“But you’re thinking about it. Once we get to Skyhold.”

She sighed. “What have I told you about going into my head?”

“I can’t help it. You’re hurting.”

Rayne just remained quiet.

“I miss Aiden.” Cole said softly.

She smiled. “I know. How ‘bout this? If I should ever make a trip to Denerim, would you like to come with me?”

Cole gave her a ghost of a smile. “Yes.”


	54. Amell/Cullen

As soon as they walked through the front gates of Skyhold Cole went directly for the tavern where his usual haunt was and Rayne headed to the stables to look in on Ghost and secure Elgar.

She was intercepted before she even got past the stairs leading up to the upper courtyard by one of Leliana’s people. “Sister Nightingale wants to see you immediately.”

“I kindof figured she would.” Rayne said dryly. “I’ll just take Elgar to the stables and look in on Ghost.”

He shook his head. “She said immediately, that she had your direwolf moved until you did.”

Rayne’s eyes widened in anger. “What?!” She yelled.

The spy flinched. “You came in a day after the Inquisitor and his party arrived. She had Ghost moved to a new location until you saw her.” He looked to Elgar. “I would be happy to take your mount to the stables…”

Elgar growled low in his throat and bared his teeth.

The spy had enough sense to back away.

“She took Ghost hostage…” Rayne growled. “That… that… bitch!” She glared daggers at the spy who paled. “Fine. Elgar, go.”

The saber growled one last time at the spy and headed in the direction of the stables.

Anger fueling her steps she rushed up the stairs.

“She’s in the War Room.” The spy called after her.

**How fitting, considering it’s about to become a war zone.**

She stormed into the main hall and made a beeline for the War Room.

“Rayne!” Varric called behind her. But she didn’t stop her war path.

As per usual, the door was closed. Adding a bit of magic into her thrust, she threw open the door. It hit the wall hard causing Josephine to jump and look at her wide eyed.

“How dare you!” Rayne yelled at Leliana not caring that she was in the middle of a debriefing with Cullen and Josephine. “Ghost is ill and you take him hostage? What the fuck is wrong with you!”

“He was fine when I saw him, Rayne.” Cullen said softly, trying to diffuse her temper. “Do you honestly think I would have let Leliana take him if he wasn’t?”

She glared at him, not that he would have seen it since he refused to raise his eyes from the map on the War Table. “With the way things have been recently? Who knows.”

He finally raised his eyes. “No matter our… personal affairs at present, I wouldn’t let anyone get hurt because of it. Even if it was just an animal.”

“He’s more than just an animal.” Rayne growled.

Cullen at least at the decency to look abashed. “You’re right. Poor choice of words. But you know what I mean.” He lowered his gaze.

“It was the only way to guarantee you came directly to me.” Leliana said calmly as she pulled up her gloves. “Alec was right, you do look different without your brands.”

“I would have come to you eventually.”

“But not as soon as I wanted.”

Rayne threw up her arms. “Fine! I’m here. Can I help you, _mother?”_

Leliana glared and turned to Josephine. “Josie, don’t you have some missives from Val Royeaux you need to go over?”

Josephine frowned and looked like she was about to argue. But another look from Leliana stopped her. She sighed. “Yes, I suppose I do.” She headed to the door in a huff.

“I’ll return to my…” Cullen started.

“No, I want you here, Commander.”

Cullen clenched his jaw but remained where he was.

It wasn’t until Josephine had fully shut the door behind her that Leliana spoke again. “We need to go over what happened in Tevinter.”

Cullen raised an eyebrow. “I already went over it with you.”

“You gave me the basics.” Leliana looked at Rayne. “Something more obviously happened.” She crossed her arms. “You seem hell bent on killing yourself. Congratulations on getting further in this attempt.”

“It’s not like I went to Tevinter for that purpose.” Rayne growled and came to the War Table and stood across from the other two.

“No. Instead you went there on a secret mission – one we still don’t know anything about, other than its Grey Warden business – putting the Inquisitor’s life in danger…”

“Hey,” Rayne snapped. “I didn’t ask anyone to come with me.” Her eyes went to Cullen. “And I’m pretty sure at least one person wishes he hadn’t now.”

“And for what?” Leliana continued as if she wasn’t interrupted. “Did you get what you went for?”

Rayne flushed. “Uh… not exactly.”

Leliana frowned.

“What? I was a little unconscious at the time.”

“And I felt it was too important to get them out of Minrathous to worry about going back for… whatever she went for.” Cullen said. “Not like I would have known what I was looking for.” He grumbled the last words.

Leliana rubbed her head. “So… you went on a needless expedition into Tevinter, gone for three months, nearly got yourself killed… no wait. You _did_ get yourself killed!”

“Is that what all this is about?” Rayne said placing her hands on her hips. “I’m here aren’t I?”

“All for nothing, Rayne.” Leliana snapped.

Rayne thought a moment. “Well, not all for nothing… we have one less Tevinter magister to worry about.”

Cullen shook his head.

Leliana scowled and then took a deep breath. “But we’ll ignore all that… for now.”

“This was ignoring it?” Rayne asked sarcastically.

“What happened between the two of you?” Leliana asked ignoring Rayne’s sarcasm.

Cullen raised an eyebrow.

Rayne didn’t answer.

Leliana sighed in annoyance. “I’m the Spymaster for a reason. You don’t think I haven’t noticed the fact that you,” She pointed at Cullen. “Can barely look at her.”

Rayne diverted her eyes.

The silence dragged on.

Finally Rayne sighed heavily. “He knows.”

“Knows what?” Leliana asked.

“That we’ve had a maleficar as an advisor to the Inquisitor.” Cullen said sharply.

Rayne winced but didn’t say anything.

“And it seems I was the last one to know.” He finished.

“Oh…” Leliana said with uncertainty. “Well, to be fair, only Varric, Alec and I knew.”

“Not anymore.” Rayne mumbled.

“What do you mean ‘not anymore’?”

She looked up. “I mean, Solas and Dorian know and Cole has always known because well, he can see into my head.”

Leliana rubbed her head. “What happened to us keeping it secret?”

Cullen’s eyes flared. “I should have been told from the beginning.” He snapped.

Leliana turned to him and glared. “Do you have any idea what would happen if people found out that Rayne was a blood mage? That the _Hero of Ferelden_ is a blood mage? Not just to her or the Inquisition, but to Aiden and King Alistair? If the people of Ferelden knew a blood mage placed him on the throne, do you honestly think that would go over well? And Aiden? He doesn’t have the same protection she has being a Grey Warden, and that is tenuous.”

Cullen frowned as if he hadn’t considered it before. And then he shook his head. “Like I would have told anyone?”

“Three can keep a secret, as long as two are dead.” Rayne mumbled.

Leliana nodded. “Just so.”

Cullen shook his head and sighed in defeat. “It makes no matter anymore.”

“It does.” Leliana snapped. “I need to know this isn’t going to damage the infrastructure of the Inquisition. That you will still be able to work together.” Her eyes went to Rayne.

“Have no fear.” Cullen said as he headed to the door. “My priority is the Inquisition. You have nothing to worry about.” He opened the door and left.

Rayne turned and leaned against the War Table all of the sudden feeling very drained.

Leliana came to her side and mimicked her position. “Well, you always were one for drama.”

Rayne shook her head. “I should have known I wouldn’t be able to keep it from him forever. I just… I just thought that I would have had a better way for him to find out when the time came.”

“Was there ever going to be a good way for him to find out?” Leliana asked honestly.

She was quiet a moment. “Probably not.” She said softly.

Rayne and Leliana just stood in comfortable silence for a time.

“Rayne…” Leliana finally said softly. “Is this going to be a problem?”

Rayne didn’t answer right away. She stood looking at the floor as her heart sank. “No.” She said. “It won’t. Because I’m leaving the Inquisition.”

* * *

 

* * *

 

Cullen grumbled as he sorted the mountain of papers on his desk that had accumulated there in his three month absence. Luckily he knew none of it was of too much importance, Leliana had told him anything of note she handled. That just meant that all that was left was the tedious papers. He briefly entertained the idea of using the papers as kindling.

As much as the trip to Tevinter had been a disaster, he actually enjoyed being out in the field again. Rayne was right on that count: he was a man of action.

A soft knock on his door brought him out of his thoughts.

“Come in.” He called as he continued his task.

The door opened and Leliana sauntered into his office. She smirked, “Well, at least you won’t be bored for a while.”

He scoffed. “You make it sound like paperwork is entertaining.”

She shrugged. “Mine usually are.”

“Because yours are usually filled with juicy secrets.” He quipped. He looked up at her. “Was there something you needed, Leliana?”

“There is.” She shut the door and came closer to his desk. “We need to discuss this business of Rayne.”

Cullen frowned. “I thought we already went over this… twice now.” He really didn’t feel like discussing the mage.

Leliana braced herself against his desk. “Look, I know you have a bad history with blood mages.” She said softly in case anyone was near to over hear.

“That’s putting it lightly.” He said bitterly as he continued to separate missives.

“Does Rayne seem anything like that?”

Cullen didn’t answer.

“That’s it, isn’t it? That’s the problem.”

He looked up at her and quirked an eyebrow.

“It bothers you because a blood mage managed to slip under your radar.” Leliana nodded.

Cullen sighed. “No, that’s _not_ what bothers me.”

“Then what is it?”

“I can’t just be bothered by the fact that I’ve been working with a blood mage for the last half year?” He grumbled.

“If that was the true reason, then of course. But it’s not.”

Cullen looked at her and glared. “Why does it matter? I told you this wouldn’t be a problem…”

“You’re right.” Leliana cut him off.

He frowned in confusion.

“Because Rayne has decided to leave the Inquisition.”

“She what?”

“You heard me.” Leliana crossed her arms. “She doesn’t want to cause conflict within the Inquisition. Or be a possible liability should word get out that she’s a blood mage.”

Cullen gritted his teeth. “I would never…”

“You’re right, you wouldn’t.” Cullen was getting annoyed that she kept interrupting him. “But you’re not the only person that knows anymore. Before only Varric, Alec and I knew. Now, we have four more people, counting yourself. The more people that know, the higher the chance it slips.”

“Technically there are a lot of other people that know. They just aren’t part of the Inquisition.”

“Yes.” Leliana conceded. “People that have fought beside her. Bled beside her. Love her on multiple levels. That would sooner die than reveal something like that.” She paused and studied him. “I know you two have become… very close. It wasn’t difficult for me to figure out what you two were doing when she increased how frequently she came here and the times of night on some of those occasions.”

Cullen felt the heat come to his cheeks but he didn’t dispute it.

“I also know you would sooner die than have any harm come to Aiden. Having his mother’s magical practices come to light _would_ harm him.”

“I know it would.” He said softly.

“So, I have no fear of you accidently letting that information slip. But the others?” Leliana shrugged. “They care for Rayne in their own way. And they would never intentionally let it slip, but nothing is certain.”

Cullen shook his head. “So you think it’s wise for her to leave too?”

“No. I think she is needed here. Here is where she can be of benefit… and well, I just enjoy having my friend here again.” She said softly.

“Have you tried telling her that?”

“I have. But she doesn’t listen.” Leliana gave him a hard look. “The only way she will stay is if she knows that things between the two of you are fixed. That she hasn’t lost her friend.”

 **Friend…** He thought bitterly. Cullen rubbed the back of his neck. “She told you that?”

“No. I just know Rayne.” Her face softened. “Losing someone as close as you were… are, is difficult. You know how hard it is for her to let people in.”

Yes, he knew all too well. And yet…

When Leliana realized that he wasn’t going to say anything more she sighed. “Just… consider what I’ve said.”

“I will.” He said honestly.

She nodded and left the room.

Cullen sat heavily in his chair. He needed to finally come to a decision.


	55. Amell

She had barely thrown herself on her bed and buried her face into her pillow when someone began pounding on her door.

Rayne groaned in annoyance. “Go away!” She yelled through the pillow, not entirely certain that the person on the other side of her door could hear her.

“Not on your life, Angel-face!” Varric called back.

She groaned. “Not _now.”_

“Too bad, I’m coming in. So I hope you’re decent.”

“If I said I wasn’t, would that stop you?”

She heard the door open. “Nope.”

“And if I had been completely naked lying on this bed, I can only imagine your surprise.”

“Eh, you wouldn’t be the first woman I caught naked in a bed.”

Rayne finally brought her face out of her pillow. “What is it with you men and thinking it’s okay to see a woman you’re not involved with naked?”

Varric hopped on the edge of her bed. “We’re men. We’ll find any excuse to see a beautiful naked woman.”

She buried her face back in the pillow. “What do you want Varric? It’s been a long night.”

“I just wanted to do some catching up. Haven’t seen you in a while.”

Rayne sighed.

“Like you’ll never guess what color our Iron Lady painted Alec’s room,” He said, using his nickname for Vivienne. “We had to sneak in there in the middle of the night to fix it.”

“Fascinating.”

“So, what about you? Anything new?”

Rayne remained quiet.

“I mean, it’s not like you had something life changing as _dying_ happen.” He said dryly.

“Really? You had to go through that whole thing to get to that?”

“I’m an entertainer, Angel-face. It’s what I do.”

Rayne turned her head to him. “Why is it you have a nickname for everyone except Alec?”

“That’s not true. I don’t have one for Nightingale, everyone calls her that. They just put ‘Sister’ in front.”

“Hmm. Fair enough.”

“Besides, I just haven’t come up with a good one yet.” Varric grinned. “How about Glow-worm?”

Rayne couldn’t help it, she laughed. “I’m not sure he would appreciate that. I’d keep working on it.”

Varric’s smile faltered. “We were worried about you, y’know? It was foolish enough to begin with to want to go to Tevinter.”

She buried her face again. “If this is a lecture, can we do this tomorrow? I had my fill from Leliana.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, I imagine you did. But no, it can’t wait until tomorrow.”

She sighed. “Alright. Get it over with.”

“Okay. You’re constantly putting yourself in harm’s way, with little regard.”

“You’d be surprised.” She mumbled.

“Do you not have any concern what your death would do to the rest of us?” Varric asked.

Rayne turned her head just enough to look at him out of the corner of her eye. “I’m well aware. And yes, I do think about it. Everyone dies, Varric. And I’m dying faster than most.”

He snorted. “I could care less about that.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“I mean, really, do you have any idea what Hawke would do to me if you didn’t return from Tevinter? Somehow I would get the blame for it. I may be a dwarf, but I still have a healthy fear of mages.” He threw up his arms. “He would no doubt barbeque me!”

Rayne burst out laughing, burying her face as she did so.

“So, next time you go off on some half-cocked expedition, just remember this poor dwarf, will ya?”

Her body still shook from the suppressed laughter. Finally she took a deep breath and rolled over onto her side to be fully facing him, propping her head on her hand. “Thanks Varric.”

He smiled. “No problem.”

* * *

 

She sat in the corner with her legs propped up on the table with a sad smile on her face as she watched everyone.

Alec laughed at something Varric said with his arm gently around Dorian next to him; Josephine sat on the other side giggling. The tavern was one of the few places they were could be completely open with their budding relationship without having to worry about others, especially in their present company. Bull sat beside Sera poking her arm teasing her about her eyes lingering on one of the new tavern girls. Blackwall was with Cassandra laughing at their recent venture back out to Crestwood while Alec was gone. And as always, Cole lurked in the corner watching the proceedings silently, every once in a while he would tilt his head back and forth when something caught his interest.

Rayne just watched them all, marveling at how they had become a small family. And even though Solas and Vivienne hadn’t joined them, they were just as much a part of it. She was going to miss them…

“How ‘bout it, Angel-face?” Varric called to her, bringing her out of her melancholy.

She turned. “Hmm?”

He gave her a lopsided smile. “A story. You must have some doozies.”

“You’re the storyteller here.” She said in amusement.

“Yeah, but you’ve probably got some that I’ve never heard before.”

Rayne raised an eyebrow. “You sure? You tell my story as often as you do Hawkes, you get everything worth noting.”

“Ah, come on, Rayne.” Alec chimed in. “There has to be some things that Varric doesn’t know.”

She shook her head. “Sorry boys. I don’t have cheery stories.” That didn’t mean she didn’t have stories, but she didn’t want to ruin the good atmosphere.

Varric gave her a knowing smile before shrugging. “Alright!” He boomed. “How about I tell you about the time we caught our dear Rayne in a very compromising situation with Hawke?”

Rayne rolled her eyes and threw her legs off the table. “You’ll have to tell that one without me. I’m going for a walk.”

Alec’s smile faltered. “Want company?”

She waved him off. “No, stay and enjoy. It will be on the battlements so I won’t run into any problems.”

Dorian frowned. “Why would you run into problems elsewhere?”

Alec turned to him. “Never mind, Dorian.” He gave his lover a teasing brush of his hand on Dorian’s thigh to distract him.

Rayne gave Alec a grateful smile before heading to the stairs that led up, she passed through the rundown room that Bull claimed to sleep and entertain in. She stood there a moment before deciding to go to the left door that would lead to the battlements closest to the bridge.

She passed a sentry who nodded to her in greeting but never moved from his position. She continued on until she was alone overlooking the valley. Even though summer had fully come to the mountains, the valley was still snow and ice, there was a reason they were called the Frostbacks. No matter the season, snow was still there. But during the days the ice and snow glistened with melting tears, it made the world around them look like it was crying. It was warm enough where she could get away with not worrying about the cold and she could leave her coat.

She leaned against the wall just staring at the glittering snow around her as the moon cast its gentle silver glow down on it. Marveling at the beauty and quiet. A beautiful lonely thing…

A tear came unbidden to her eye and escaped before she could stop it from traveling down her cheek. She roughly wiped it away and sighed heavily.

“Nice night.” A voice said behind her.

Rayne jumped and turned.

Cullen stood behind her with his hand stuffed into his pockets.

It had been five days since they returned to Skyhold and this was the first time she had seen him since. According to Leliana he had locked himself in his office trying to get through all the missives he had, only seeing runners who delivered more.

Looking at him now, he didn’t look like he had slept much those last five days. Dark circles were under his eyes and he just looked worn. She wondered if he was eating. But she didn’t voice her concerns, she didn’t think he would appreciate it anymore. But the fact that he was actually looking _at_ her spoke volumes.

“It is.” She finally said softly. She searched her mind trying to find a safe topic. “I take you got through all the missives I made you miss?”

Cullen gave her a small smirk at her attempt. “Almost caught up to the more recent correspondences.”

She nodded. She never thought she would ever be this nervous around Cullen of all people. If there was one person she always felt completely comfortable with and was able to be herself no matter what, she would have said it was Cullen.

Cullen licked his upper lip, going over his scar. A habit he had gained when he got nervous she figured out. “Leliana tells me you plan on leaving?”

Rayne groaned in her head with annoyance. Yes, _of course_ Leliana would go to him. “I am. I… thought it would be better for everyone.”

He tilted his head. “Because of me.” It wasn’t a question.

“No…” She hesitated. “Not… really.” She sighed. “More that I don’t want there to be problems because of… what I am.” She didn’t want to say the words, not when a sentry could walk by at any moment.

Cullen drew a hand out of his pocket and rubbed the back of his neck. “Rayne… we need to talk about all that.”

She gave him a wary look.

“I know I haven’t wanted to. But, it was a lot to take in.” He rubbed a hand through his hair messing up his styled curled. “And with everything else… The point is, we need to and I’m ready… for it for the most part.”

Rayne leaned against the wall behind her. “Okay…” She said cautiously. “Where should we start?”

Cullen hesitated a moment. “It started after the blood mage at the tower, didn’t it?”

“Yes.” She rubbed the side of her mouth with the pad of her thumb as she thought. “I never intended for it to happen. But after I accidently tapped into the magic to save Gregoir and I,” She shrugged. “I don’t know. I knew that I needed to learn all I could to protect not only myself, but also the people I cared for. Power belongs to those who can wield it. I could, so I learned.”

Cullen frowned. “But to turn to… that? The world isn’t so terrible that you had to.”

Rayne looked straight into his amber eyes. “The world is very different for those who cannot see beyond what is placed before their very eyes. You’ve seen what I’ve been through, Cullen. But have you _truly_ seen it? I didn’t want to go through that again, or have someone I care about be subjected to it.”

He lowered his eyes. “It always starts with good intentions, Rayne.” He said softly.

“I’ve practiced for nearly fourteen years, Cullen.” She pointed out. “Have I ever given you cause to think I even was one?”

He raised his eyes and a scowl was on his face. “That doesn’t make it better.”

“No.” Rayne said softly. “It probably doesn’t. If it’s any consolation, I’ve never dealt with demons. That’s one line I’ve never crossed.”

Cullen sighed. “Well, I guess that’s something.” He shook his head and then his face became hard. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

She looked away from him. “I… I didn’t know how to. I know how you feel about mages. Especially after Uldred.”

“We’re not talking about mages, Rayne. We’re talking about _you.”_ He snapped. “If there was anyone I trusted most, it was you.”

She turned on him. “And when would have it been a good time to tell you?” She snapped back. “At the Tower when you were still the devout Templar Knight that would still cut down a mage during their Harrowing if they failed?”

He flinched.

“Or how about after the Blight? Did you know that your hate and anger towards mages bred a rumor that you went insane and began cutting down mages for no reason? That they finally managed to stop you, but you escaped and went on hiding and killing mages over the years?”

Cullen frowned. “Yeah, I heard about that.” He grumbled.

“Maybe I should have told you in Kirkwall as you were serving under a madwoman that would not have hesitated to take the brand to me. You were still very loyal to Meredith, would you have kept from her what I was if I had told you?”

“Yes!” He yelled.

Rayne faltered. She could count on one hand how often he had actually yelled at her the entire time they’ve known each other.

Cullen growled as he roughly ran his hand through his hair. “Yes, Rayne. I would have! Don’t you get it?” His shoulders sagged. “ _I don’t care what you are_. You are more important to me than any of that. And that’s the problem, you didn’t trust me.”

She couldn’t find any words.

“And you still don’t.” He continued. His voice sad. “That’s why you don’t kiss me.” He said roughly. “Because that is intimate. Sex can just be sex. But a kiss? It’s too personal. It requires trust. You don’t trust anyone… you don’t trust _me,_ Rayne.”

Rayne hung her head and wrapped her arms around herself trying to contain tears that pushed behind her eyes. It would be pointless to try and deny it. Because in truth, he was partially right. It wasn’t the fact of the times she had been hurt… _she_ had hurt too many people. She didn’t want to do that to Cullen. Not again. And so she kept everyone at a distance.

Cullen sighed when she remained silent. She heard his footsteps as he moved to the side of the battlements across from her. She was unsure of what he was doing, she couldn’t bear to see him angry or upset with her. She remembered that look all too well.

“I can’t keep doing this, Rayne.” He said softly. “I don’t think you should leave. And I won’t have a problem with your magical practices. But… I can’t go back to the way things were before.”

They were quiet for a few heartbeats. When she didn’t say anything, Cullen sighed in defeat and began walking away.

“Do you know what love is?” She finally called out.

His footsteps stopped. “What?

“Do you know what love is?” Her voice shook with emotion.

He didn’t answer right away. When he finally did his voice was soft and it cracked slightly. “I still remember what you said once: love is wanting someone’s happiness long before your own. Even if you’re not part of it.”

Rayne swallowed and finally looked up at him.

Cullen’s lips parted in surprise by the trails of tears of her cheeks.

“It is.” She said hoarsely. “Love it also trust. You can’t love someone if you don’t trust them. Love is giving someone the ability to break your heart, but trusting them enough not to.”

Pain etched Cullen’s handsome features, no doubt replaying the words he had just spoken about her not trusting him.

But that was just it…

Rayne rushed at him, throwing her arms around his neck and pulled his face down to hers and kissed him.

Electricity coursed through her as their lips met, memories of their time at the Circle together washed over her.

She cared about Alistair, she would never deny it. And he would always have a special place in her heart. But she no longer loved him.

It was always Cullen, she realized as the surprise finally began to leave him as the kiss continued. He had been her first love. It may have been an adolescent love, but it was love all the same. He had been there for her and Aiden. He was her rock. And over time, even though she tried to deny it, that adolescent love grew.

Rayne finally pulled away enough to break their kiss. But she remained close enough to look into his eyes and feel his warm breath on her cheek. “I do trust you, Cullen. I didn’t tell you… because I didn’t want to hurt you.” She searched his eyes, those wonderful warm amber eyes. “I love you.” She whispered.

Cullen searched her eyes. Doubt laced his features.

His silence lasted so long that she began to fear that she had ruined any chance.

But finally he tilted his head slightly and a small warm smile came to his face. He brought a hand to her cheek and ran the pad of his thumb over the dried tears. “Say it again.”

Rayne smiled. “I love you, Cullen.”

He slid his hand down her face to her neck, slipping it to the back and wove his fingers through her hair. “I love you, Rayne. I always have.” He tilted her head, leaned in and kissed her.


	56. Cullen

It was the first time that they shared a bed without having sex.

After their shared kisses on the battlements, Cullen had scooped Rayne in his arms and carried her back to his quarters. They spent the rest of the night simply enjoying holding one another, sharing kisses and talking.

He didn’t do a lot of sleeping. He simply enjoyed running his fingers over Rayne’s body that was pressed close to his, lying in the nook of his, following the curve of his body perfectly like hers was created specifically to fit his.

A smile always came to his face every time she nuzzled her nose closer to his bare chest and feeling her naked body brush his ever so gently.

He spent the time she slept thinking; going over their conversation. He now truly understood why she never told him. If their roles had been reverse, would he have been eager to tell her his darkest secret? Probably not. Especially when she had more than just herself to think about.

As dawn approached he had tried everything to keep her face shielded from the coming sun. He made a mental note to actually get his roof fixed. Luckily she slept peacefully and never woke even as the sun moved farther into the sky brightening his room.

Two hours after sunrise a knock on his door below pulled him out of the bliss he was in.

Cursing softly, he eased himself out of Rayne’s embrace, taking care as not to wake her. She mumbled softly and buried her face into his pillow, but otherwise didn’t seem disturbed.

There was another knock below. “Commander?” Leliana’s muffled voice called.

Not bothering with a shirt he slid down the ladder in only his sleeping pants. He rushed to the door and opened it just as Leliana’s hand was hanging in the air to knock again.

She gave him a quizzical look. “Since when do you lock your door?”

“Since I wanted to actually get sleep.” He said trying to keep his voice low but not seem like he was whispering and stood back.

Leliana eyed him from head to toe. “You’re still in bed?” She came in. “Usually you are up before now. And why are you whispering?” So much for that…

“I didn’t sleep a lot last night.” **Truth.** “And I’m whispering because I have a headache.”

She studied him for a moment and then nodded. “Sorry.” She said softly. She handed him a pad that she had in her hand. “News from Val Royeaux.”

Cullen took it and began looking it over. Half way through, he frowned as he felt the familiar itch of being watched. He looked up and found Leliana with her eyes half lidded and seemed to be staring at his chest. “Is there a problem, Leliana?”

Leliana raised her eyes and smiled. “No. Not at all, Commander.”

Cullen looked at her in confusion before returning to the message. “So it’s happening next month?” He asked looking back up.

She nodded. “I thought the council should talk about preparations.”

He sighed. “That is yours and our Ambassador’s area of expertise.”

“But you will also be there and we need to come up with a sort of plan of what we’re going to do.”

He nodded. “Very well.”

Leliana frowned. “You haven’t seen Rayne, have you? My people say she hasn’t been to her room all night. And the others say she left the tavern last night for a walk, but no one has seen her since.”

Cullen kept his face passive. “I’m sure she’s around somewhere.” **Truth.**

“You don’t…” Leliana faltered. “You don’t think she left, do you? Without saying anything?”

He shook his head. “No. Don’t worry, Leliana, she isn’t going anywhere.”

“How do you know that?”

He looked down. “You told me I should talk to her… I did.”

Leliana brightened. “You convinced her to stay?”

“More or less.”

She let out a sigh of relief. “Good.”

Cullen cleared his throat. “I’ll meet you all in the War Room soon.”

Leliana nodded and then gave him a devilish smile. “Or if you want to just follow me there now?”

He tilted his head. “I’m not even dressed or cleaned.”

She shrugged and went to the door. “Doesn’t bother me. And I’m sure Josie wouldn’t mind.” She called over her shoulder as she left to return to the main hall.

Cullen simply stared after her in confusion. He finally shook his head and closed the door, locking it again before climbing the ladder back to his bed. He stopped as his head reached the top to take in the sight before him.

Rayne lay on her stomach at the end of the bed still only wearing her bottom small clothes, using her hand to prop up her head with an amused smile on her face. The sun shined through the hole in the roof, dust particles danced in the light looking like glitter as it shone on her making her back glow with a golden light.

He swallowed down the lump in his throat and he continued climbing. “I was hoping I wouldn’t wake you.”

Rayne continued to look at him in amusement as he came closer to the bed. “I’ve been up for a while.”

Cullen sat on the edge of the bed looking down at her as she rolled onto her side to keep her eyes on him. “You were fast asleep when I left.”

“Mmm. No I wasn’t. I’ve been up since dawn. I’ll blame your skylight.”

He raised an eyebrow.

She smirked. “What can I say? I’m _really_ good at faking it.”

Cullen chuckled. “Maker, I hope not. You know how to make a man all of the sudden feel self-conscious.”

“Don’t worry, I haven’t with you… well except for the sleeping bit. Was hoping eventually you would fall asleep if I didn’t wake up. Have you slept at all?”

He shrugged. “Dozed on and off.” He smiled. “I had a beautiful woman distracting me.”

“Well, I guess that just means we can’t sleep together anymore. Guess I need to get out of this bed and…” She began to roll off the other side of the bed.

Cullen grinned and grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back. “Don’t you dare.” He lowered himself back to the back and pulled her into his embrace and kissed the top of her head.

Rayne giggled as her warm body pressed against his. She lifted her head to look at him. “But your meeting…”

He pressed her closer and lowered his lips down to hers, but didn’t make contact. “They’re not going anywhere.” He said softly and he kissed her.

He could feel the smile on her lips as they kissed and her body relaxed into his.

“I think I’m a bad influence on you.” She breathed when he finally pulled away.

He rubbed her back. “But in all the best ways.” He said with a chuckle. “So, before the sunrise, did you sleep well?”

Rayne laid her head on his chest. “Very much so. It’s been a long time since I’ve slept that sound.”

“Good.” He nuzzled his face into her hair as he moved the arm under her to support her head and ran his fingers through her hair, gently letting it fall as he picked it up to shine in the light.

“Yeah, I know, I need to get it cut.”

“Hmm.” He studied her hair. “I don’t know. I rather like it.”

“Really?” She asked and tilted her head slightly to look at his face.

He nodded. “I’ve always liked your hair long.”

Rayne scoffed. “ _Now_ you tell me.”

Cullen laughed. “Well, before this moment it seemed a bit irrelevant.”

“You couldn’t give me friendly advice?” She teased. “By the way, I like your cover up in keeping me hidden away up here.”

He looked down at her. She had a hand on his chest as she had her head lying against him, a gentle smile on her face looking completely content. “That doesn’t bother you, does it?”

She opened her eyes. “Why should it? You had said before you wanted to keep our private affairs private.”

“Yes… but that was before…”

She laughed quietly. “Nothing has changed. Other than we have now gone to the next level. It’s still a private affair.”

He smiled.

“Just expect more encounters like you got from Leliana.”

His smile fell and he looked down at her in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Rayne laughed. “Cullen, she was flirting with you.”

He blinked a few times. “No… she…”

“Was flirting with you.” She said with great amusement, laughter lacing her words.

Cullen replayed their encounter and the way she was looking at his bare chest. He felt heat come to his cheeks. “But… she’s never, uh, I mean…”

Rayne outright laughed finally. “Because how often has she seen you barely clothed?” She leaned back away from him slightly. “No armor, no shirt,” She brought her fingers to the waistline of his pants and gently pulled them. “No small clothes, only your sleeping pants. And you can’t imagine _why_ she would be flirting with you?” She laid her head back down. “My love, you’re an extremely handsome man in clothes. Out of them: you’re practically a sex god.”

 Cullen couldn’t help the smile that came to his face when she said ‘my love’, even if he was embarrassed now by both his encounter with Leliana and Rayne’s description of him. “Which is why she was trying to get me to the War Room like I was.” He realized.

“So Josephine could drool over you too, yes.”

He sighed and shook his head. “Women.”

Rayne playfully pushed him. “Hey, woman, right here.”

He tightened his hold on her and threw his leg over hers drawing her even closer as he buried his face in her hair. “And you’re the worse of the lot.” He said good-naturedly.

She hummed against him. “Probably. But all in the best ways?”

He chuckled. “Very much so.”

“So, you’ll have Leliana to beat off with a stick. Whereas I will have Bull… and apparently Solas.”

Cullen went rigid. He didn’t have a problem with Bull, because he was just a playful flirt. Just like Rayne was. But Solas was another matter.

“Yes, I saw the…” Cullen tried to search for the right word.

“Possessiveness?” Rayne offered.

“More or less. I thought you weren’t his type? No pointed ears.”

She shrugged. “That’s what he told me. But something apparently changed.” She leaned her head back. “You’re not worried, are you?”

He smiled and shook his head. “No. I have nothing to worry about, least of all Solas.” His kissed her nose.

She smiled. “Good.” Her smile faltered. “Does… it bother you that I’m a flirt?”

“No. It was more baffling than anything else when we were at the Circle, but I soon learned that was just how you were.” Cullen had gotten used to her playfulness and it no longer bothered him, he knew that now that she was his, she would never cross past playful flirtiness with anyone other than him. “I don’t want you to change in anyway. And your flirty nature is part of who you are, and one of many reasons I love you.”

Rayne smiled warmly and kissed him as she wrapped her arms around him as best she could. Her tongue slipped over his causing him to moan softly into her mouth.

She pulled back with a sigh. “I got lucky with you, I think.”

“Not as lucky as I am.”

She laughed. “Oh? We’re going to be one of _those_ couples are we?”

Cullen smirked in confusion.

She rubbed her forehead against his chin. “I love you more, sweetheart.”

He laughed. “Maker… As much as I love the sound of that, let’s try to skip over the sappy, sugary bit shall we?”

“Oh, thank Andraste.” She sighed and rested her head on his collarbone. She began humming a tune.

Cullen smiled and shook his head. “Rayne?”

“Hmm?”

“How do you say ‘I love you’ in elven?”

_“Ma’arlath.”_ She said easily.

“Ma... erlath.” Cullen said trying to wrap his tongue around it.

Rayne chuckled at his attempt. _“Ma’arlath._ ‘Ar’ like the pirate sound and then lath.”

He shook his head.

She sat up to where she was looking down at him. “ _Ma’arlath.”_ She said slowly.

Cullen couldn’t contain the smile that had been threatening to come to his face any longer.

Rayne glared at him and punched him softly. “You jerk, you were just wanting me to say it!”

“Is that such a bad thing?” He said playfully. “I remember you telling me that one at Haven.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Okay,” He sat up, bringing his face closer to hers. “What about ‘my love’?”

Rayne continued to glare at him.

“I swear,” He said with laughter in his voice. “That’s one I _don’t_ know.”

She studied him before tilting her head. _“Emma lath._ But I always liked _vhenan_ or _vhenan’ara.”_

“Which is?”

“ _Vhenan_ is ‘my heart’.”

Cullen smiled. Yes he definitely liked how that sounded.

_“Vhenan’ara_ … ‘my heart’s desire’.”

He felt his heart swell when she said that one; he could feel the love in her voice. “So, if you were to say ‘I love you, my heart’?”

Rayne bent down to him and let their breath mingle together. _“Ar’lath ma, vhenan.”_ She whispered and kissed him.

Yes… he definitely liked the sound of that…


	57. Amell

“I thought he said he talked to you.” Leliana huffed.

Rayne looked at her out of the corner of her eye. “He did. We’re fine.”

“Then why am I still seeing tension?”

 **It’s a different kind of tension now.** Rayne thought in amusement. She shrugged. “Does it matter?” Her eyes went to Cullen as he went through training exercises with some new recruits, he shook his head in annoyance. “He’s… still getting used to it all. Don’t worry, Leliana. I swear to whatever god you want me to that everything is fine.”

“I don’t think that is how swearing to something works.” Leliana said dryly.

“Probably not.” She said in amusement as she turned back to the task at hand. “Are we ready?” She called.

A dwarf, whose name escaped her at the moment, looked over the tower he stood next to with a critical eye. Finally he nodded. “All set.” He called back from the battlements. “Areas where you should apply your magic should be easy for you to find.”

“I would stand back then.” She turned to the mage apprentice next to her.

A young elven woman named Crysta, who was barely twenty by the way she looked. She was one of the apprentices that had been with Fiona in Redcliffe and was eager to prove herself as a competent mage. She had mousy brown hair that hung to the middle of her back in soft waves and dull brown doe eyes.

The task that Rayne was about to perform, she initially wanted Dorian’s aid. A mage she could trust. But he was still sore with her intrusion into his head. Solas would have been the next best, but Rayne was currently trying to avoid him. And Vivienne… well, they just avoided one another. So that left Rayne going to Fiona who volunteered Crysta.

“Are you ready?” Rayne asked the girl.

Crysta nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, _messere.”_ The fact that she used that term of respect told Rayne she originated from the Free Marches.

Rayne nodded to the tower. “Then prepare.”

Crysta frowned in determination and turned to the tower. She closed her eyes and reached her free hand towards the tower while the other held onto her staff that thrummed to life.

“Concentrate.” Rayne instructed. “Make sure you have a good handle on every stone that has been marked.”

After a few moments of silence Crysta grunted.  “Ready.”

“You sure?” Rayne asked.

“Yes.” The girl hissed.

Rayne raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything about her tone. She turned to the tower and closed her eyes, mimicking Crysta in reaching for the tower, but unlike the young girl she didn’t need a staff. She opened herself up the Fade and her magic. She felt the familiar pang of loss of not feeling the brands she once had heat up her face. It was something she was trying to get used to.

Through her mind she searched out the stones that the dwarf had marked. “I’ll take it slow.” She said softly. Targeting one stone, she began clenching her hand into a fist. As she did the stone began to crumble, applying heat helped speed up the process. Within moments she heard the crumbling of rock above her where the tower was and it slightly shifted.

Crysta softly grunt beside her trying to control the tower and keep it from toppling.

Rayne waited a few moments making sure the girl had control before going to the next stone and repeat the process. As she continued on she felt Crysta struggle.

“Do you have it?” Rayne asked, not breaking her own concentration.

“Yes.” She strained.

“One left… You need to make sure…”

“I have it!” Crysta snapped.

Sighing in her head, Rayne went to the last stone and began the process of crumbling it.

Half way through she heard Crysta gasp beside her.

“Rayne!” Leliana yelled.

Rayne’s eyes snapped open as Crysta lurched forward with her hair sticking to her sweaty forehead. She turned to the tower that began to sway. And then began to fall…

“Everyone move!” Rayne yelled.

Those closest yelled in fright and the rushed away.

With no time to think, Rayne reached out with her mind as quickly as she could and thrust both arms towards the toppling tower just as it toppled over the side of the battlements. Rayne grunted as she caught it half way in its decent, right above two soldiers who had been trying to get a civilian moved.

Rayne gritted her teeth as small rocks fell from the suspended tower. “Move!” She growled through clenched teeth at the soldiers that were looking in awe at the display above them. She felt the perspiration on her forehead.

Scrambling as quickly as they could, they ran away.

As slowly as she could, Rayne lowered the tower, trying to keep it as much intact as possible for salvage. Once the tower made an audible low crushing sound onto the dirt, she released her magic and fell backwards, landing hard on the group.

She closed her eyes trying to get rid of the dizziness from casting such a spell as quickly as she did.

“Lady Rayne!” Crysta shrieked. “I’m so, so sorry! I thought… I did… I …”

“Shut. Up.” Rayne snapped. She finally opened her eyes and looked at the girl. “I asked you if you had it.”

Crysta blanched. “I…”

“Go. I have no more use for incompetence today.”

Looking like she was about to cry, she spun around and rushed up the stairs leading to the upper courtyard.

Leliana knelt beside her. “Rayne, are you alright?”

Rayne sighed. “I’m fine.” She looked up when she heard approaching footsteps.

Cullen looked down at her in worry.

“I’m fine.” She said in exasperation. “I just used more energy than I should have.”

Cullen tilted his head. “Do you think the lack of lyrium weakened your spell?”

“No.” She grunted as she tried standing.

Cullen offered her a hand which she gratefully took.

“I just had to act fast, so I expended more magic.”

“Thank the Maker that you acted as quickly as you did.” Leliana said. “Do you need anything?”

“For you both to stop acting like mother hens that would be a great start.”

Cullen smirked. “Yeah, you’re fine.”

Leliana shook her head and turned to Cullen. She eyed him up and down. “Not training alongside your men today, Commander?”

“Not today. Recruits are too green for that. Perhaps tomorrow when I go over the more seasoned men.”

Leliana gave Cullen her sweetest smile. “Pity. Just means I will have to come by again tomorrow then.”

Rayne rolled her eyes.

Cullen cleared his throat and diverted his eyes. Rayne thought she caught his lips twitch into a smirk like he saw something. He turned back to them. “I should get back to them.” His eyes fell on Rayne. “But first…”

He reached forward and grabbed her hand.

Rayne squeaked in surprise as he pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her. Before she could even process that, his lips devoured hers.

Her surprise melted away as she wrapped her arms around him and her body relaxed in his embrace, savoring how good he felt.

After a few moments longer of sweet bliss, Cullen finally pulled away with his eyes only half open. He gave her his easy smile that made her weak in the knees and then pressed his forehead against hers. “ _Ar’lath ma, vhenan.”_ He said softly.

Something about the way it sounded when he spoke elvish sent shivers down her spine.

He finally stepped away giving her one last impish smirk before turning back around and heading to his training. “What are you lot looking at?” He barked at the recruits who had all stopped and were smiling at their Commander. “Get back to work!”

Rayne just stood there in bewilderment and probably a goofy smile on her face.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by the sounds of giggling.

“Well,” Leliana said with amusement. “I now know how he convinced you to stay. And so did everyone else.”

Rayne blinked and looked around. A few soldiers stood off to the side with grins on their faces. And then her eyes went to the stairs and saw two figures looking down from the top most stairs.

Alec stood there with his arms crossed over his chest with a huge grin on his face. And at his side was Solas with an expression that Rayne couldn’t read.

She turned back to Cullen who stood side face to her, a smirk and a glint in his eye.

Realization came to her. What better way to declare that they were now a couple? Especially to the other interested parties they spoke about this morning. The only one missing was Bull.

Rayne shook her head and chuckled. “Sneaky devil.” She said softly.

* * *

 

Later that evening she sat on the battlements, her legs hanging off the side looking into the valley, with Ghost by her side, gently running her fingers through his light grey fur as he slept.

Rayne smiled sadly as she remembered the first time she had ever seen the direwolf. Barely a year old with pure snow white fur except for the few spots of fur that were matted with blood from a fight with some of the tainted creatures in the swamps, and blazing red eyes. He had a fire and spirit in him that called to her.

“What do you think, Old Man?” She said softly.

She received a snore in response.

“Yeah, I agree. I just don’t think Leliana will be happy about it.”

“Leliana won’t be happy about what?”

Rayne turned and smiled at Cullen approaching. “I thought you would still be in your office.”

“I would be.” He said as he sat on the other side of Ghost. “If I wasn’t missing a beautiful woman by my side.”

She shook her head. “If I was there you wouldn’t be getting any work done.”

“I’m not getting any work done now.” He said in amusement. He looked down at Ghost and ruffled the fur on his head. “So, what won’t Leliana like?”

“Me taking a trip to the Emerald Graves.”

Cullen frowned. “Emerald Graves? What in Andraste’s name for?”

The amused smile on Rayne’s face fell away as she continued to pet Ghost. “To… take Ghost.” She said softly.

Cullen was quiet a few moments. “He’s not getting any better.” It wasn’t a question

“No.” She sighed heavily. “He’s getting to a point where he can barely walk. I always told myself when his time came I would take him to the woods. He loves it among the trees. The Emerald Graves are the closest.”

“Well, you’re right. Leliana wouldn’t like it.” Cullen looked up at her and smiled. “That won’t stop you, of course.”

“You know me so well.” She teased.

“I’d like to think so.”

Rayne’s heart lurched. No matter how close she and Cullen may get, there would always be things about her he could never know. Her life as a Warden saw to that.

“Luckily, you won’t have to sneak out.” He continued. “Just so happens, the Inquisitor is going back.”

“Why?”

“Seems that while we were gone on vacation, Fairbanks has gathered more information on the Red Templars there, and he will only speak with the Inquisitor about it.” He paused.

“What is it?”

“I… also got more information on Samson. Some smugglers of the lyrium are said to be there. The Inquisitor is going to look into it.”

Rayne studied him. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine.”

“I mean with Samson.” She tilted her head. “I know seeing him with Corypheus, seeing what he has become… it wasn’t easy.”

Cullen looked away, staring out into the valley. “I can’t help but think… I could have ended up like that. If it wasn’t for Cassandra’s offer to join the Inquisition…”

“You’re stronger than you think, Cullen.” Rayne said as she brought her hand to his, she gently glided her fingers over his.

He looked down and shook his head. “I don’t feel like it.” He said softly.

“You are though. Just look at what you’re doing now.”

“What am I doing now?”

“Breaking your lyrium leash. You need to be a strong person to be able to go through that.” She entwined her fingers with his.

He didn’t answer for a short time. “It’s difficult.”

“I know. Just like with the rest of life, no one ever said it would be easy, they only said it would be worth it.”

A smile came back to his face and he turned to her. “True. I mean, look at you.”

Rayne gave him her best incredulous look and tried pulling her hand away. But Cullen’s fingers tightened around hers and he brought her hand up to his lips and kissed the tips of her fingers gently.

“And I wouldn’t have it any other way.” His breath tickling her hand.

“You say that now.” She chuckled. “Give it a month.”

“I don’t know, I think we got over the biggest hurdles already.”

“You just jinxed us, you know that, yes?”

Cullen laughed. “Probably. But a few bumps along the way will make things at least interesting. So long as they don’t break us.”

Rayne raised an eyebrow. “Bumps along the way to what exactly?”

He simply gave her a smile and turned his attention back to the valley.

She felt the heat come to her cheeks thinking about all the different scenarios with him. Most of which she knew would only be wishful thinking. Granted what they had now she had always thought was going to be nothing but a dream. She felt the familiar pain at knowing that they couldn’t have any real future.

 **What am I doing?** She thought in dismay. **I shouldn’t have let this happen. I should have just left. Isn’t that what I’m going to do in the end? Leaving before would have been easier.**

She felt Cullen gently squeeze her hand. “Rayne?” His voice laced with worry as he sensed her shift in mood.

She looked up into his warm amber eyes and gave his a small smile. “I’m fine. Just… thinking of the future.”

Cullen looked down at Ghost, she was grateful that he thought she was speaking of the direwolf. “I know it won’t be easy.”

“Letting someone you love go never is.” She said softly. She sighed and gently pulled her hand form Cullen’s and stood. “Ghost.”

The wolf raised his head slowly and looked up at her in reply.

“You should go back to the stables. Master Dennet will be waiting for you.”

Ghost slowly rose and rubbed his head on her chest.

Rayne rubbed her forehead against his. “If getting to my room didn’t involve climbing so many stairs, I would let you stay there.” She said softly.

“He can stay in my office, Rayne.” Cullen offered.

She looked down at him as he rose. “I don’t want him to be an inconvenience.”

Ghost nudged her in annoyance.

She laughed. “Not that you would be one… intentionally.”

Cullen smiled. “He wouldn’t be. I suspect he would be doing a lot of sleeping anyway. Besides,” He ruffled his hand through Ghost’s mange. “Gives me some time with him before you leave.”

Rayne smiled. “Thank you, Cullen.”

“Purely selfish.” He said in amusement.

She turned to Ghost. “Well, go on, Old Man. You heard him.”

Ghost gave Cullen a lick on the face before making his walk to Cullen’s office.

Cullen wiped away the spittle before turning back to her and pulling her into his embrace. “And what about you?” His warm breath tickled her cheek and the smell of mint met her nose.

“What about me?” She asked as she wrapped her arms around his middle to his back.

“Are you going to be joining us?”

“Mmm.” She tilted her head. “Not tonight.”

Cullen’s smile fell.

Rayne laughed. “Don’t look like such a wounded puppy, Commander. We both need a full night’s sleep.”

“Don’t see why you sleeping with me…”

“I can’t sleep with the sun shining in my eyes.”

Cullen grumbled something about the roof.

“And you,” She kissed his chin. “Apparently can’t sleep with me in your bed. And call it a wild hunch, I think it has more to do with just my beauty.”

“Good excuse as any.”

She smirked.

He sighed. “I… don’t want you to have to see me with my nightmares.” He said softly.

“Oh Cullen.” She said and leaned into him, laying her head on his chest. “Just like you have had to share my pain, let me share yours.” She said softly. “I want to be there for you.”

He tightened his hold on her. “I’ll try.” He rubbed her back and then glided one hand up to the back of her neck, entangling his fingers in her hair. While the other went to the small of her back.

Rayne tilted her head up to his. “By the way, I loved your not so subtle kiss today.” She teased.

Cullen chuckled. “I thought you might appreciate that.” He leaned in and kissed her gently.

She felt heat blossom in her lips and stomach as their lips touched. She didn’t think she would ever get enough of his kisses.

It had started off gentle and sweet. But the longer it lasted it became hungry and demanding. His hands began to travel all over her body. First going down her back to squeeze her cheeks before gliding over her hips and back up to find her breasts.

Rayne took in a sharp intake of breath as he gently kneaded them and flicked his thumbs over hardening nipples.

She pulled away. “A kiss is one thing, Commander.” She said breathlessly. “But let us try to keep our clothes on outside of the bedroom, shall we?”

Cullen gave her a devilish grin before pulling her back to him, his hands on her backside and pressed her as close as possible to him to feel his arousal. “I’m surprised you would have a problem with something like that.”

Rayne gave him a smoldering smile. “Who is to say it’s something I haven’t already done?”

He pressed his foreheads against hers and chuckled. “Teasing little minx.” He sighed and finally pulled away. “Guess I will have to hurry up on patching up my roof so I can get you back into my bed to make love to you again. Something we haven’t done in a while.”

She shook her head. “My sweet, we’ve never made love.”

Cullen raised an eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure that was you all those times.”

“Yes.” She said in amusement. “But that wasn’t making love. That was simply fucking.”

“There’s a difference?”

Rayne smiled and kissed his cheek. “The day we make love… you will know the difference.”


	58. Amell

The next week Rayne found herself in the beautiful melancholy Emerald Graves.

It was said that each tree found in the Graves was a reminder of a life lost during the Exalted March against the Dales. The woods teemed with wildlife and vast foliage, home to many common beasts and some unique. The southern half of the region was relatively civilized, marked with road signs and Orlesian estates, though they had fallen into disrepair during the Orlesian Civil War. The forest was now home to a group of Orelsian refugees, led by a man called Fairbanks, and the Freemen of the Dales, deserters of Empress Celene and Grand Duke Gaspard’s armies who had taken to harassing the refugees.

Rayne took a deep breath, smelling the healthy earth and trees around her. She had spent all her youth inside the confining walls of a stone tower; the only vegetation was the small potted plants that they used to grow reagents for spells or healing remedies. When she had first visited the Brecilian Forest during the Blight she had immediately fell in love with it. It was vast, wild, beautiful and peaceful; aside from the werewolves and darkspawn that is. She could understand why the Dalish preferred the forests.

A wet tongue licking her hand brought her out of her thoughts. She looked over at Ghost and smiled. He had perked up as they drew closer to the Graves, even though he knew what it meant that they were going there. Perhaps that was part of the reason he gained more energy. He knew that soon he would not be any more pain. At least, that is what she hoped.

“So, what now?” Alec said behind her coming to her side while the rest of their group unloaded a wagon of supplies.

“Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, since you’re on official Inquisition business.” She said lightly. “But, Ghost and I will be resting tonight and then tomorrow… we’ll go on one last hunt together.”

Ghost whined and nudged her hand.

Rayne knelt, causing her to be at chest level with the wolf. She wrapped her arms around his thick neck. “I know boy.” She said softly into his fur. Her heart clenched in her chest.

* * *

 

She used Elgar to prop herself up sitting next to the fire in the middle of the Inquisition camp with Ghost’s head in her lap as he slept soundly. Alec and Dorian sat on one side of her finishing their dinner of venison with greens. On the other side were Bull and Varric playing a game of Diamond Back. Solas sat across the fire from her working on carving a piece of wood into an indistinct shape at present, Cassandra sat not too far away from him reading a novel.

Vivienne had long since retired to her tent, as had Sera. Neither woman cared for the woods. And Blackwall had fallen asleep leaning against a close tree. His snores mixed with the crackling fire and knife scraping against the wood Solas was working on relaxed her. It all had a very familiar feel to it.

**_“You’re not quite as callow as I thought.” Sten’s voice broke through her thoughts. “That is… unexpected.”_ **

**_Rayne gave him an incredulous look. “Callow? You thought I was callow?”_ **

**_He had his sword in his lap sharpening it. He looked up at her. “You sound surprised. You must of heard this before.” He shrugged. “You’ll get over it. Eventually.”_ **

**_“Why did I let you out of that cage again?” She asked dryly._ **

**_As always he took everything she said seriously. He tilted his head in thought. “I have… wondered that, myself. It is one of the many things I find puzzling about your behavior.”_ **

**_“Well, I find plenty of things puzzling about you, too.”_ **

**_“What is there to be puzzled about?” Almost looking like he took offense. “I’m a simple creature. I like swords. I follow orders. There’s nothing else to know about me.”_ **

**_Rayne smiled and shook her head. “I don’t think you’re that simple.”_ **

**_The corner of Sten’s lip twitched, she briefly thought he would actually smile. “As I said, you’re not as callow as I thought.”_ **

A chuckle brought her back to the present. She turned to see Varric and Bull watching her. “What?”

“Someone is lost in memory. Anything good?” Varric asked.

“Guess it depends on your definition of good. It was good to me.”

“Well, out with it! I need a good story. This forest is too gloomy.”

“Thinking of Sten and one of the many… interesting conversations we had.”

Bull chuckled. “Somehow I can’t see our Arishok being much of a conversationalist.”

Rayne laughed. “He had his moments. We were both curious about the others culture. Both were equally confusing to the other.” She shook her head and smiled. “Oft times it was like talking to a water wheel.”

Varric laughed. “Yeah, I remember the previous Arishok.” He shifted his sitting position on the log he and Bull sat on. “You needed a decoder for some of the stuff he said.” He smiled at Bull. “Luckily, this time around we have one we can understand.”

“I don’t know.” Rayne said in amusement. “I sometimes miss trying to decipher the Qunari mind.”

“Well, if you miss it that much,” Bull teased. “I could always start talking about the Qun and why most of you make no sense.”

“No.” Rayne and Varric said in unison.

Bull laughed. “Didn’t think so.” He gave Rayne a long look. “But I have to know… what was your most entertaining conversation with him?”

She smirked. “Why so interested?”

“Hey, having these little insights into the Arishok when he was still Sten is great!”

She shook her head and thought a moment. Her smile widened. “Probably the one where he couldn’t quite grasp the fact that I was a woman Warden.” She thought. “Well, maybe entertaining isn’t the right word for the conversation. But that one sticks out the most prominently. That and the first time we arrived at Haven.”

“What did he think of it?” Solas asked, he had stopped carving and listened intently.

“He didn’t have a real opinion on the area. It was more of the fact that I heading so far north, which was away from our enemy. I think that was one of the few times I got a smile out of him… or at least a smirk.” She laughed. “I remember when we finally found the Urn and his reaction.”

Solas gave her a lopsided smile. “Something tells me he wasn’t overly impressed.”

“Not really.” She said with laughter lacing her words.

 ** _“Congratulations. You’ve found your pot of holy dirt.”_** His voice rang through her head in his typical monotone voice.

“I’ve heard you talk a lot about Sten.” Alec said setting aside his plate that was practically licked clean. “But what about the others in your party?”

“Well… let’s see. There was a Circle mage. Elderly woman, her name was Wynne.”

“I remember her.” A voice behind her said softly causing her to jump and turn.

Rayne sighed. “Cole, how many times do I have to say not to sneak up on me like that?”

“Sorry.” He said and came around and sat beside her.

She gently patted his leg. “Yes, you knew her son… Rhys, yes?” She asked getting back on track.

Cole nodded. “Yes. He was my friend. My only friend…”

Rayne knew Cole was at White Spire when the rebellion finally came to a head. She remembered someone mentioning that he had played a part in it. She wondered if he saw Wynne die. But she never was brave enough to ask. She didn’t know if she wanted to know how the elder woman died.

“And then there was Zevran.” She said with a smile.

“You called me that when you first woke at Skyhold.” Solas recalled.

She nodded. “He was an elf and an Antivan Crow.”

“You traveled with a Crow?” Dorian asked. “Hope that you kept him chained up.”

Rayne laughed. “No, much to his disappointment I’m sure. He was a heavy flirt and tried on more than one occasion to get me into bed.” She shook her head. “But, Maker, he could make me laugh. He had an… energy. Having him and Oghren together made travel interesting to say the least.”

“Oghren?” Varric asked. “Sounds like a dwarf.”

“He was. A helpless drunken berserker.”

“Sounds like my kind of dwarf.” Bull laughed.

“And despite being drunk more often than not and the… smell,” She said wrinkling her nose at the memory. “He was a good friend. And… he was with me the longest. After the Blight, he came to Amaranthine and he joined me, joined the Wardens. Don’t think I’ll ever meet his like again.” She said softly. She shook her head coming back to the present. “And the rest you know.”

“What was Nightingale like?” Varric asked. “Was the like she is now?”

“She was… softer. I first met her in Lothering. She was in the inn when we were confronted by Loghain’s soldiers who were looking for any surviving Grey Wardens. She tried to diffuse the situation, convince the soldiers to leave. At the time she was still a cloister sister at the Chantry there.” She smirked. “And I’m pretty sure you all know my feelings on the Chantry by now.”

“Nah.” Bull teased.

“When I first met her, I thought her naïve and… slightly crazy. Talking about visions that the Maker sent her, telling her to aid me against the Blight. But even with our differences, I was glad to have her around.” She looked at Alec. “I’m partially to blame for how she is now. I’ll leave it at that.”

Alec raised an eyebrow in curiosity but didn’t question.

“What about King Alistair?” Solas asked.

Alec shot the elf a sharp look. He may not have known what exactly transpired during Alistair’s visit to Skyhold, but he knew it wasn’t good.

Rayne didn’t answer right away. She was lost in all the memories. “He was charming, despite his childlike ways. Or perhaps it was because of that that he was charming. He was sweet, compassionate and wanted nothing more than to please those around him. And unlike Leliana, he definitely was naïve in a lot of ways.” She swallowed past a lump in her throat. “He had a strength in him, one he tried to hide… And the way he could make me smile,”

 She pressed her lips together trying to contain the tears that pressed into her eyes. She looked to Alec. “Dagna had called me a shining light of hope during the Blight. That’s what Alistair was to me. He had… has a big loving heart. We faced darkness and death nearly every single day, and yet he could still put a smile on my face. If it wasn’t for him… I don’t know how I would have survived that year like I did. He gave me hope and kept me from completely hardening myself against the world. If it wasn’t for him, I don’t know what kind of person I would have become.

“Even after everything he had been through… has been through, he still manages to care and love and still has strength.” Her eyes went to Solas. “That’s why I put him on the throne. Ferelden needed someone to help heal it, not just fix it. He could do that. He still can.”

The elf held her gaze. “You loved him a great deal.” He said softly.

Rayne chewed on her lower lip. “I did. He changed me just as much as I changed him.”

“Why not stay with him then?” Dorian asked.

“Because he was going to be king.”

Dorian raised an eyebrow. “It’s not uncommon for kings and queens to take on lovers. From what I understand King Cailan…”

“Alistair is not like Cailan.” She bit off. She took a deep breath composing herself. “Also, I’m greedy. I didn’t like the fact of him marrying another woman who would be the one to give him heirs. That it would be her bed that he went to every night after he was spent with me.” Rayne winced slightly at her own words. It was the first time she had actually spoken those words out loud.

Varric gave her a sad look. “I doubt he would have been that way, Angel-face.”

She nodded. “You’re right. He wouldn’t have been. He also knew how I felt about the matter of being some backroom mistress. Which is why during the Landmeet after he was declared to take the throne, he announced to every single noble there that he was going to marry me… without consulting me on it.”

“Would that have been so terrible?” Dorian asked.

Rayne snorted. “A mage queen. Because that would have gone over well in the long run.” She said sarcastically. “Once the glamour of me being the Hero of Ferelden wore off the Chantry would remember what I was. Ferelden would be no better than Tevinter.” She smirked at Dorian. “And despite you being charming, Dorian, Fereldans are not very keen on Tevinter.”

He chuckled. “Fair enough.”

“So you left.” Solas said

She nodded sadly. “So I left.” She took a deep shaky breath and turned to Varric and gave him a lopsided smile. “See? Told ya, I don’t have very many happy stories.”

Varric smiled softly. “I don’t know. Sounds like a good love story.”

She gave a bark of laughter. “How is it a good love story?”

He tilted his head. “You’ve managed to start a new one with Curly. The good love stories aren’t just the ones that end with the lovers going off into the sunset to live happily ever after. They are the ones that also end in heartache but the lovers involved can still go on and find love again.”

Rayne smiled and shook her head.

A long dreamy sigh broke the silence around them.

They all turned to find Cassandra had laid her novel in her lap and had propped her head in her hand. She had a dreamy expression on her face, at least until she realized everyone was now staring at her.

She jerked up and Rayne could see pink spots on her cheeks before the Seeker went to her feet. “Sleep is calling my name. Good night.” She spun about without another word and went to her tent.

Rayne watched her go in amusement. Cassandra had to pass right by Varric and when she did Rayne and his eyes locked, he was just as amused as she was.

Once the Seeker was gone, Varric chuckled softly and grinned. “Seems our Seeker is a hopeless romantic at heart.”


	59. Trevelyan/Amell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> art by [agregor](https://agregor.deviantart.com/)

Alec stood with Rayne at the edge of camp as he waited for Solas, Bull and Cole to finish preparing for their journey through the woods. The world around them still glistened with morning dew as they watched Ghost explore the area around them.

“You sure you don’t want someone to go with you two for hunting?” Alec asked again. “I’m sure Varric or even Blackwall would be happy to go with you.”

Rayne chuckled. “No. But thank you. This is something he and I must do alone. Besides I doubt they would be able to keep up.” She began unlacing her thigh high boots and sat on a nearby trunk to slip them off her feet.

“Uh…” He watched her as she began unlacing her bodice. “Do you usually go hunting naked?”

She smirked at him. “Only with Ghost.” She said in amusement as she moved to a wagon that was piled high with supplies for the Inquisition troops at the camp.

Alec stared after her. “That… is disturbing mental image you conjured for me right there.”

Bull came to his side and was watching Rayne. “Oh good. I came just in time for the good part.”

Rayne smirked and slid behind the wagon out of view.

“Ah! Come on!” Bull called. “That’s just being a tease!”

Alec heard something fall to the ground and then silence. “Rayne?” He called.

Seconds later a large black wolf emerged from the other side of wagon. It shook its body.

“Uh, where’d he come from?’ Bull asked.

“She.” Solas approached.

The wolf, which was only a fraction smaller than Ghost, approached.

Alec took an involuntary step back. “Rayne…” He called again, thinking maybe the wolf was somehow hers.

The wolf barked and almost sounded… annoyed.

Solas chuckled. “No need to shout, Inquisitor. She’s right here.”

Alec raised an eyebrow at him.

Solas smirked and nodded to the wolf. “Look at the eyes.”

He turned back to the wolf as she sat and stared at him… with clear blue eyes. “Andraste’s tits.” He breathed. “Rayne?”

She blew out her nose, in clear annoyance that time.

“We saw her turn into a dragon, Inquisitor and a half breed of one. Is it so surprising to think she could turn into a wolf?” Solas asked in amusement.

“Just a little.” Alec mumbled.

Rayne’s eyes turned from them to Cole who had finally joined them and shook her head.

Cole went to her and slipped off a necklace she had around her neck. A simple red crystal held in a dragon’s talon hanging from a leather thong. “Take this,” Cole said. “If you should need to find me, use it. It will guide you to me.” He went to Alec and handed him the necklace.

Alec took it and studied it. He was beginning to see a common theme with Rayne concerning dragons. He wondered if the spirit dragon held any connection.

Rayne barked once before turning away and going to join Ghost who stood patiently waiting. Ghost playfully pulled her ear and then ran into the trees. Rayne followed close behind like a shadow.

Alec shook his head in amazement. “Things are never boring with her around.” He said in amusement as he pocketed the necklace and went to gather her clothing.

“No.” Solas murmured softly. “They definitely aren’t.”

* * *

 

It had been a long day dealing with Freemen of the Dales and lyrium smugglers. But he had gained the information that Cullen needed to use against Samson.

Alec rubbed his eyes. He felt sore all over and wanted nothing more than to go back to camp and curl up in his tent and sleep, but when his group had returned to camp they found out Rayne hadn’t returned. With night falling he felt he needed to try and find her. The forest was dangerous enough during the day, who knew what came out at night to play.

He held the necklace Rayne had left behind in the palm of his hand. It glowed warmly in his hand and acted as a sort of dog on a leash, tugging him in the direction that Rayne was. He had wanted to move quickly, so he had only brought Solas with him. He felt better having another mage at his side and one that knew the area decent enough, but if truth be told he had wanted any other mage in his group _except_ Solas to begin with.

Alec didn’t like having Solas around Rayne at present. During their time in Cumberland he noticed the attention the elf had constantly given the mage Warden, border lining on possessive. And apparently Alec wasn’t the only one to notice Solas’ attention. When Cullen had made public his and Rayne’s relationship Alec had the distinct impression that the display was for Solas’ benefit.

“How far did you go, Rayne?” He mumbled.

“I wouldn’t think she would go far.” Solas said as he stopped and looked around. “Or did she plan on staying out all night?”

Alec shrugged. “She didn’t say. I just assumed… She wouldn’t be crazy enough to…”

Solas turned and smirked.

He sighed. “Of course she would.”

Solas frowned and he went to a nearby bush and knelt.

“What is it?”

When the elf rose back to his feet he held something shining in his hand. “A damaged arrowhead.” He observed.

“Something from one of the Freemen? Or perhaps the refugees?”

Solas frowned and looked around. “This area doesn’t seem to get too much traffic. Something tells me this is from a hunter. And judging by the tracks… it hasn’t been here long.”

**A hunter…** Alec thought. A shiver went through him.

“Inquisitor?” Solas asked in concern.

Before he could reply a deep mournful howl filled the area around him. It was filled with a long pain and edged with rage. Dread made his stomach drop.

“You don’t think…” Solas started to say in a hushed tone, disquieted by the howl.

Alec didn’t let him finished he darted into the trees allowing the necklace to lead him. He was running as fast as he could all the while avoiding branches and roots that could trip him.

The sounds of screams of fear and pain followed by snarls and growls lent his legs speed. He was so caught up in trying to get to his destination that he did end up tripping. But not over any vegetation. Alec landed hard on the ground crying out in pain as his knee made contact with the earth.

A gasp behind him made him turn and his jaw nearly hit the ground.

Solas slowly lowered himself to the ground next to a massive grey-white furred body. “No.” he whispered as he glided his hands over the still form.

“Ghost.” Alec choked. The great direwolf’s eyes were wide open and glossed over. Three arrows piercing his hide. One at the front leg, one at his side and one lodged in his throat that was no doubt the kill shot. Fresh blood was still pooling around his body turning his fur red.

Solas looked up, he shook his head.

Alec swallowed past the lump in his throat. That meant the keening howl… “Rayne.” He rose as quickly as he injured knee would let him.

Solas came to his side and tried to get Alec to lean on him.

“No.” Alec growled and shoved the necklace into Solas’ hand. “Find her.”

Indecision flashed in Solas’ eyes. Finally he nodded and raced through the trees ahead.

Alec followed as best he could. Luckily he didn’t have to go much further.

“Rayne, stop!” He heard Solas yell ahead.

A scream of abject terror filled the grove.

Alec grunted as he pushed passed branches that clung to him. He nearly fell over and into Solas who stood with his hand out imploringly.

He finally took in the scene.

One man lay toppled over a boulder, a nasty gash on his forehead that was bleeding down his face. But he was alive, just unconscious. Then there was the second man, who was pinned beneath a very naked Rayne. The man – a hunter judging by the way he dressed – was as pale as milk as he stared into the deadly face of the mage above him. Rayne’s eyes glowed crimson red, a snarl on her face that spoke of the death she had planned for the hunter.

Alec stumbled, luckily Solas was able to catch him before he fell. “Rayne…” He said softly.

The only answer he received was a snarl. Red energy gathered around the hand that didn’t have the hunter pinned down, forming into a deadly point around her hand.

Alec panicked. “Rayne, he’s not worth it.

Her eyes flared.

“But he is.” Solas said in a calm tone. “He deserves to die for what they did.”

Alec turned to him. “You’re not helping!” he hissed.

The elf looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “I am.” He turned his gaze back to Rayne. “I’m helping her with her revenge.” He gently extracted himself from Alec’s arm and took a step towards her. “It’s only fair. Only just.”

**What are you doing, Solas?!** Alec yelled in his head

Rayne’s jaw clenched and her arm holding down her soon-to-be victim shook.

“They took Ghost’s life. It’s only right that theirs should be snuffed out. That is _justice_. Isn’t it?” Solas continued.

Rayne lowered her head and Alec saw small tears fall to the hunter below her. The energy blade around her hand flickered.

Alec and Solas stood and watched her in silence. There was nothing more they could do – not that Solas was really helping… or… perhaps he was? Rayne had yet to kill the hunter. Indeed, it seemed that now she was hesitant.

A deep throaty growl came from Rayne that didn’t sound the least bit human. And then, with a strength that Alec didn’t know she was capable of – no doubt being enhanced by her magic, she lifted the hunter off the ground and threw him over to where his companion was just beginning to rise from the boulder.

“Leave.” She hissed. The first word she had spoken since they found her. Her voice was dark and menacing and had a low timber.

Solas went rigid but otherwise didn’t say anything or move.

The pale hunter scrambled to his friend and they ran deeper into the forest.

They all waited until the sounds of pounding feet could no longer be heard.

Rayne moved slowly towards and around them, heading back the way they had come.

Alec traded glances with Solas who came to his side and let Alec lean on him. They followed a short distance away from the Warden, watching as the red cackling energy slowly receded back into her body. By the time they got back to Ghost she was back to normal.

Rayne collapsed to her knees once she reached her companion, not caring about the blood she knelt in. Her head hung low brushing his fur and her whole body began to shake from silent tears of loss. When that wasn’t enough, she had raised her head and yelled in rage into the growing night. The sound echoed around them causing the birds that had been nesting in a nearby tree to fly in fright.

Alec didn’t know what else to do, so he kept his distance. As did Solas. But he felt the familiar feel of healing magic on his injured knee. Once the spell was finished he pulled away from the elf and gave him a silent nod of thanks.

Solas turned his attention back to Rayne. He frowned and began removing his outer coat.

“What are you doing?” Alec said in hushed tones.

Solas didn’t answer. Instead he shrugged out of his coat and walked to Rayne.

Alec didn’t think that was the wisest of options since she was just as likely to lash out at the elf.

Solas only hesitated briefly before gently laying his coat across her shoulders. With his smaller frame it would barely reach around to her front, but at least now she wasn’t completely exposed to the elements.

Rayne didn’t even acknowledge the act. Alec briefly wondered if she was even aware of them as she lay over Ghost’s body and cried.

Solas quickly retreated back to Alec and then sat on the forest floor with his staff lying across his lap. Apparently the elf was ready to wait as long as she needed.

Alec mimicked him and waited.

 

As night slowly crept into the glade and fatigue was starting to return to Alec, he heard a low melancholy song drift to his ears.

His eyes went to Rayne. She was still draped over Ghost’s body, but her body no longer was racking in grief. And he realized that the song was coming from her. Her voice was soft and gentle and still filled with pain. But despite that, her voice was beautiful and haunting. He didn’t understand the words, but he felt the longing in them and it brought tears to his eyes.

 

_Hahren na melana sahlin_

_Emma ir abelas_

_Souver’inan isala hamin_

_Vhenan him dor’felas_

_In uthenera na revas_

By his side Solas began to hum the song along with her.

 

_Vir sulahn’nehn_

_Vir dirthera_

_Vir samahl la numin_

_Vir ‘lath sa’vunin’_

_Vir sulahn’nehn_

_Vir dirthera_

_Vir samahl la numin_

_Vir ‘lath sa’vunin’_

 

The glade returned to quiet.

After a few moments, Solas leaned over to Alec. “Inquisitor, we cannot linger much longer. Dangers are beginning to stir for the night to come.”

Alec swallowed and nodded. He rose and slowly walked to Rayne and knelt beside her. “Rayne.” He said gently.

Her eyes were closed tight as if she was trying to block out the world and pretend what was happening truly wasn’t.

He brought a hand to her shoulder and she flinched under his touch.

Rayne slowly opened her eyes which were red with grief.

“We cannot stay here.” Alec said softly. He hated having to take her from Ghost, but it was time.

She buried her face into the wolf’s fur. “I can’t…” She croaked. “I can’t leave him like this. Those poachers… they’ll come back… they’ll… I can’t leave him like this.” Her voice cracking.

Solas knelt on the other side of her and placed a hand on her other shoulder. “I will make sure they don’t.” He said softly. “I will tend to him.”

Rayne turned her head to the elf, Alec was unable to see her face.

Solas’ eyes were filled with compassion and understanding. “Please, _da’len._ Go back to camp with the Inquisitor, and I will ensure Ghost’s protection.”

She hesitated a few heartbeats before slowly pulling herself off of Ghost’s body and sighed so heavily that Alec was sure he heard her heart crack.

Solas nodded to Alec.

Alec gently grabbed both her shoulders, trying to keep Solas’ coat on her and helped raise her to her feet. He worried briefly as her legs wobbled. But after a few moments she steadied herself and closed the coat around her as best as possible.

Solas continued to kneel on the ground. “Go _emma’asha._ ”

Alec frowned. He had never heard that phrase before and made a note to ask Rayne about it at a later time. He gently led Rayne in the direction of camp, not sure if she truly saw the world around her.

* * *

* * *

 

 

She only vaguely remembered being led back to the Inquisition camp. She remembered the clamor of voices when they entered, but didn’t remember actually seeing anyone. And then she fell into a dark coma.

Rayne woke near dawn. She lay in her tent briefly entertaining the idea that yesterday was nothing but a bad dream. But no, she knew better. And so, with everyone else asleep except the sentry on guard, she crept out of camp and back into the forest.

As she drew closer to the grove she felt like she swallowed a stone and it just sat stubbornly in her stomach. But her eyes remained dry. She apparently had emptied her well of tears the previous night.

Grunting up ahead caused her to go rigid. Did the poachers return? She vaguely remembered Solas offering to see to Ghost. How exactly, she didn’t know. And she didn’t know if he was able to. Gritting her teeth, she stalked forward ready to eliminate whoever was there.

But as she pushed through the trees she found Solas knelt on the ground pounding a stone into the dirt.

“Solas?” She asked in bewilderment.

The elf turned. He had semi-dark circles under his eyes that said he hadn’t been to sleep yet. “Rayne? What are you… You should be resting.”

“I’ve rested enough.” She came closer and inspected the area around him more closely. The ground he knelt on near a willow was moist, freshly disturbed. The stone acted as a sort of marker. She looked back at Solas. “You… buried him?”

He looked away, almost like a child who may have made a mistake might. “I spent a better part of the night thinking of the best way to honor him. Being from Ferelden, I thought burning. But then… I thought of the elven tradition. We bury our dead and…”

“Plant a tree over their remains.” She said softly.

He nodded.

Rayne wrapped her arms around herself. She nodded. “A beginning of a new life. It was… is a beautiful way to honor the dead.”

Solas looked back at her and nodded again. “I thought so. Alas, I had no new tree to plant over him. So I thought to bury him near one instead and mark his grave.”

Rayne chewed on her lower lip as she stared at the disturbed ground. “ _Ma serannas_ , Solas.” She said hoarsely. “You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to. _Ir abelas,”_ He paused. _“Da’len.”_

Rayne licked her lips and finally went to the grave and knelt beside Solas.

They were silent a long time. By the time Rayne finally spoke again the glade had brightened, but even with the sun higher in the sky it was still shadowed and cool because of all the trees.

“I knew that he would die here,” She said softly, her voice cracking slightly. “I just didn’t… the way he died.” She choked on the last word.

“He died the way he lived, Rayne. And it no doubt was the way he wanted.”

She gave a harsh humorless laugh. “And how is that?”

Solas turned to look at her. “Fighting for you.”

Rayne turned to him. “How did you…”

He smiled. “I dreamt here.”

She sighed. “Of course you did.”

“Ghost, he jumped in the way of the first arrow. It was meant for you. He died fighting for you.” He looked back to the stone marker. “He had a warriors spirit. His death was _halam’shivanas._ ”

Rayne knew he was right. But it didn’t take the sting out of it. Ghost had died for her. In time she would come to realize and accept that his death was the way he wanted to go. Not growing older, being in pain until he died.

“Solas… do you know much about the elven Gods? I know you don’t believe in them…”

“I don’t believe they are gods, no. But I believe they existed. Spirits or maybe powerful mages, perhaps? I know a good deal; at least I’d like to think so.”

“The Dread Wolf… Fen’Harel. Do you think… do you think he watches over his brethren?”

Solas didn’t answer.

Rayne smiled bitterly. “It’s a foolish notion.” She said softly. “But I always envisioned Fen’Harel with a pack of spirit wolves. Those he deemed worthy to remain as spirits by his side.”

“Why do you think that?”

“No matter Fen’Harel’s… tale, he is a wolf, yes? Wolves, they are pack animals by nature. So I just thought…” She shook her head. “Like I said. It was a foolish thought.”

Solas seemed to contemplate her words. “He may very well do that. If so,” He turned to the stone marker and leaned to it, stretching out his hand until it touched. He murmured under his breath.

Rayne watched at the top of the stone began to mold into a new shape. By the time it was finished, two wolves sat on the top. One lay across looking at them, the other sat on its haunches and looked to the heavens.

Solas went back to his position next to her. “Fen’Harel would no doubt find Ghost worthy.” He finished. “ _Ma’las Fen’Harel enansal,_ Ghost.”

Solas reached into one of his pockets and pulled out something that was hanging from a thick leather thong cord, similar to the one around his neck that had the wolf jaw attached. “I… did take this.” He said and then quickly added. “For you. I thought… you may want something.”

She turned to him in confusion.

He took her hand and put the necklace in her hand.

Rayne opened her fist and choked down the sob that threatened to come out. It was a large canine tooth hanging at the end. She brought it to her chest and bowed her head as she felt the first tear run down her cheek. “Solas… I…”

“I know.” He said softly. _“Mala suledin nadas, ma vhenan’ara.”_

“As I always must.” She said softly. “Solas, you can’t call me that again.”

He was silent a few heartbeats. “Of course, Warden.” He said softly.

* * *

 

“Are you sure it’s safe for you to travel to Skyhold alone?” Alec asked again.

Rayne mounted Elgar and tried to smile at him. But it was a smile that she knew didn’t reach her eyes. “I need time alone. Ghost… he wasn’t a pet. He was a companion. He was family. The journey back to Skyhold will do me some good.”

Alec studied her a few moments before nodding. “Very well. Just… make sure someone sends me word down here when you get there?” He shrugged sheepishly. “Just so I know you made it back safely.”

She nodded. “I’ll see you soon.” She turned Elgar away to the path that acted as a road that led back north to the Frostbacks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elvish Translations:  
> emma’asha: My girl  
> Ma serannas: Thank you  
> Ir abelas: I’m sorry  
> halam’shivanas: Sweet sacrifice of duty  
> Ma’las Fen’Harel enansal: May you be granted the Dread Wolf’s blessing  
> Mala suledin nadas, ma vhenan’ara: Now you must endure, my heart’s desire


	60. Amell/Cullen

The ride from the Graves had definitely been needed. She was able to get lost in memories over the last ten years and those memories helped her realize how right Solas was about Ghost’s death.

Thinking about the elf caused her stomach to clench. She had figured out how he felt about her, but their time at the grave was the first time Solas had ever given voice to his feelings for Rayne. It was… unsettling. She definitely didn’t feel the same way towards him. She had a respect for him and his knowledge. And after what he did for Ghost, she felt closer to him as a friend, but nothing more.

Rayne rubbed the back of neck trying to think how she was going to deal with that problem. She prayed that she wouldn’t have to broach it again with him. Hopefully he got the message clear.

“Welcome back, Captain Rayne.”

She was pulled from her thoughts as one of the sentries at the gate greeted her.

Rayne gave him a slight smile. “I presume Sister Nightingale knows I’m here.”

He chuckled. “Of course. And no doubt Commander Cullen has been informed as well.”

Her smile faltered and she nodded. “Try not to work too hard gentlemen.” She called over her shoulder as she rode Elgar through the gate into Skyhold.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Captain!”

By the time Cullen came to her at the stables she was already removing Elgar’s last armor piece. “Rayne.” His voice was soft as if unsure of what to say or do.

She didn’t say anything. She unfastened the last strap on the armor piece and with a soft grunt lifted it off of Elgar’s shoulder, carrying it inside the barn where Blackwall had told her she could store Elgar’s armor pieces instead of having to heft them to and from her room. She heard the door to Elgar’s pin close and latch and then heard Cullen follow after her.

“I take it you received Alec’s missive.” Rayne asked as she set the armor piece with the others and grabbed the cloth tarp nearby to lay it over them.

“Yesterday. Rayne,” She felt a hand on her shoulder. “I… I’m sorry.”

She gently pulled away from him and walked out of the barn.

“Rayne.” He called. He grabbed her hand, halting her. “Look at me.”

“Cullen…” She said softly.

“Look at _me.”_ He said more forcefully.

With a sigh of fatigue and annoyance she turned to him.

Cullen’s eyes were filled with sympathy.

“Please don’t.” She said. “I’ve had my fill of sympathy and pity. Some of it self-inflicted.”

Hurt flashed on his face and eyes as he released her hand. “Is that how it’s going to be?” He said in a harsh wounded tone.

“No… I…” She took a deep breathed and gently rubbed her eyes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped.” She looked back at him. “Please, Cullen… I’m just really tired. I just want to tell Leliana to send word to Alec that I arrived safely and then go to my bed.”

His face softened into understanding and he nodded. He closed the gap between them and took both her hands in his. “I’ll tell Leliana, you go rest. But Rayne… I just want you to know, I’m here if you need anything. Anything at all.”

Rayne gave him a weak smile and squeezed his hands. “I know.”

He released her hands and brought them to her face, cupping it gently to look into her eyes. He held her gaze for a few moments before kissing her forehead. “I love you.” He breathed into her hair.

“And I you.” She said before turning away to go fall into a bed that was calling her name.

* * *

* * *

 

“You’re not worried?” Cullen asked as he paced near Leliana’s desk.

She looked up at him and frowned. “Why would I be?”

“Why would… are you serious?” He said in shock. “She hasn’t come out of her room since she returned from the Graves.”

“Can you blame her?”

“No.” He said softly. “But the fact that she sees no one… that doesn’t bother you?”

“That’s not true. She allows runners into her room to deliver messages.” Leliana looked back down at a necklace on her desk. “And I have seen her.”

He frowned. “What?”

“You didn’t know?” She looked back up. “I would have figured she may have told you…”

“No.” He snapped. “When I had said she sees no one that included _me._ And I just assumed that meant you too.”

“Oh.” Was all she said before turning back to the necklace and lifting it up to get a closer look. “Have you actually tried to see her?”

Cullen had to keep his lip from curling. “Yes. But that damnable assistant she now has running her office won’t allow me entrance. And that’s another thing, since when does Rayne use an assistant?”

“She usually doesn’t.” Leliana amended. “Have you tried just walking _past_ the assistant into her room?”

“Yes.” He growled. “Rayne has cast some kind of spell on the door to keep intruders out.”

“Oh… well, I guess you will have to wait until she is ready to see people.”

“See people or see _me?_ ” He snapped. “Because as you just admitted, she sees you.”

Leliana sighed in irritation and put down the necklace. “Honestly, Commander, what do you expect me to say?”

“Why is she avoiding me?” He finally asked.

She shrugged. “I didn’t even know she wasn’t seeing you until now, how should I know?”

“I thought… maybe she may have said if something was bothering her.”

“Of course something’s bothering her.” She said in annoyance. “She just lost Ghost, for Maker’s sake!”

“Something more than that. I… just don’t understand why…” He didn’t finish. Everything was going so well before she left. He realized that Ghost’s death hit her hard; he knew it would even before she left. And he realized the way the direwolf died was terrible. She was grieving; he understood that and was willing to give her space. But now it was going on nearly two weeks since her return and the last time she saw him. And now he learned that she obviously was avoiding him. Why?

Leliana’s face softened. “Commander, if I could give you answers I would.”

Cullen came to a decision. “Leliana, talk to her for me. Find out why she won’t see me.”

“Commander…”

He held out his hands imploringly. “Please, Leliana.” He pleaded. “Something’s happening.”

She searched his face before closing her eyes and sighing heavily. “Very well, I will sneak into her room tonight and see what is going on.”

Cullen felt the pressure on his chest lessen. “Thank you.”

She looked back at him. “I can’t guarantee I’ll find anything, Cullen.”

“The fact that you will try… it means a lot.”

* * *

* * *

 

She growled in frustration crushing the letter in her hand. She spun around and flung it into the burning hearth.

Rayne slammed her hands onto the table. “There has to be _something._ ” She growled as she studied the map. But all she saw were dead ends.

She squeezed her eyes shut, as if blocking out the evidence in front of her would somehow make it not true. She breathed through her nose trying to rein back emotions, which seemed to be harder as of late.

By the time she finally relaxed her body it went rigid again as the sounds of creaking reached her ears coming from her bed chamber behind her. She slowly opened her eyes and slightly turned her head to the closed door that led into her bed chamber.

Rayne grabbed the letter opener by her hand and slowly made her way to the door. She placed a hand on the knob and listened. It took a few moments, but she finally heard what sounded like the glass doors that led to her balcony close. She listened closely as she heard padded footsteps walk across the stone floor, muffled at least once as whoever it was walked over the carpet she had at the end of the bed.

With a steadying breath, she threw open the door and was about to attack her intruder until the sight of familiar red hair stopped her. “Leliana?” She asked in equal amounts of bewilderment and anger.

The Spymaster stood looking over the far left wall with her head tilted. “This is quite beautiful, if a bit melancholy.”

Rayne gritted her teeth. “Get. Out.”

Leliana finally turned to her.

“No one is allowed in my room other than me until it’s finished.”

Leliana looked around. “Looks finished to me, and then some.”

Rayne continued to glare.

Finally Leliana followed her out of the bed chamber and into her office. Rayne slammed the door behind her. “Is there a reason you’re sneaking into my room in the middle of the night?” She snapped.

Leliana went over to her table to overlook what she was working on. “You bottom door was magically sealed.”

Rayne frowned and went to the table stabbing down the letter opener. “Yes, that usually implies that I want to be left alone. Go figure.”

Leliana looked at her unphased. “We need to talk.”

“Is this a life or death situation?”

“No.”

“Then this can wait until morning. Leave.”

Leliana crossed her arms. “No, this can’t wait until tomorrow.” She narrowed her eyes. “Why are you avoiding Cullen?”

**That’s what this was about…** Rayne sighed and rubbed her eyes. “Who says I am?”

“You do, with the fact that you will see everyone else _except_ him.”

“A fact that I’m currently rethinking.” She grumbled

Leliana hesitated. “Did something happen between the two of you?”

“No.”

Again, hesitancy, this one longer. “Did something happen between you and So—“

“No!” She snapped. “Why would you even think that?”

“Solas hasn’t exactly let his feeling for you remain secret.”

“Perhaps, but the answer still stands: no.” She shoved Leliana away from her table and looked it over.

“Then why?”

“It’s none of your concern, Leliana.”

“It is my concern when the Commander comes to me asking for help.”

Rayne groaned. Of course he did. She shook her head. She tapped her fingers on the edge of the map. “Leliana… if you know me so well, then you know why I have been.” She said softly.

There was a long drawn out pause, Leliana no doubt thinking. But Rayne didn’t raise her eyes.

The Spymaster took in a sharp in-take of breath. “ _That_ is what this is all about?” She snapped as the realization came to her.

Rayne finally brought her gaze to Leliana. Her face hard.

Leliana’s eyes were flaming. “You’re doing it again?”


	61. Cullen

Cullen paced back and forth. It had been hours since he spoke with Leliana and he was starting to worry. Whether about Rayne or Leliana, he wasn’t entirely sure.

The sound of someone coming up the stairs halted him and he turned.

Leliana climbed the stairs slowly rubbing her neck.

“Is everything all right?”

She jumped in surprise. It spoke volumes that Leliana was caught off guard like that. “Commander, what are you still doing up?” There was a tremor in her voice, slight and easy to miss.

Cullen frowned. “I was waiting to see what you learned from Rayne, of course.”

She shook her head and went to a chair and fell into it. “I could have been gone all night.”

“I was willing to wait as long as needed.” He waited. But when she continued to remain silent he spoke again. “Well, why won’t she see me?”

Leliana leaned foward and rubbed her temples as if trying to rid herself of a headache. “Commander… I’m going to stay out of this.”

“What?” He took two steps towards her feeling the urge to shake her, but suppressed that desire. “You’re telling me that you were able to get in to secretly see her for me and _now_ you’re going to stay out of it?”

She looked up at him. “I am.”

“Why?” He said through gritted teeth.

“Because I shouldn’t have involved myself to begin with.” She said slowly. She rose and went to him. “Commander… Cullen, I know why she has been avoiding you. But other than that, I won’t say anymore.” She searched his eyes, making him wonder what she saw. “How much do you know about the Blight? Concerning her specifically.”

He frowned. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Everything. So, how much do you know?”

Cullen shrugged. “A great deal. She told me a lot of what she went through, things she had to do.”

“What about situations with those in our group?”

“She… told me stories.” He said slowly, trying to figure out where this was going.

“Well, if she told you the important ones… especially those concerning Alistair and her, you will be able to figure out what she is doing.”

Cullen looked at her in confusion.

“But, I’m going to bed.” She turned to go to her room for the night.

“Leliana…” He called.

She shook her head. “I’m sorry, Commander. I’m staying out of it. This is for you and Rayne to work out.” She stopped. “Oh dear, I seemed to have forgotten my climbing equipment outside her balcony.” She turned her head enough to look at him out of the corner of her eye. “Will you see to it, Commander? So as no one climbs up there after her."

 **Clever.** “Of course.”

She nodded. “But be sure only to go _after_ you’ve puzzled out my riddle.” She turned and left.

Cullen sat in the chair Leliana had been occupying to puzzle it all out.

Nearly two hours later he finally went through all the stories she told him of her and Alistair. The realization of what happened then was happening now but to him made him angry. He jumped to his feet to go confront the issue.

* * *

 

Stealth was definitely not his area of expertise; he was surprised no one came rushing to find out what all the noise was outside of Rayne’s balcony. But the Maker must have been smiling on him, because no one came, better yet, Rayne never came to check.

With a grunt he pulled himself over the railing of her balcony and landed as softly as he could. After he got his bearings he pulled up the rope that Leliana had left behind to make sure no one got any ideas. Granted, only those who had a death wish would be so foolish as to climb into her room. What did that say about him, he wondered?

He stayed out on the balcony for a short time to think about what he was going to say or do. The exertion from the climb had managed to work out the heat of his anger, in its place was hurt. Finally he gently opened her balcony door and silently pushed aside the heavy dark curtains that were used to block out the sun.

The glow from the moon behind him cast a silver light into the room. Inside was nothing but darkness and shadow. From what he could see, the bed looked undisturbed which told him Rayne had never gone to bed after her meeting with Leliana.

He went into the room and shut the door behind him. Without the moonlight, the room was plunged into darkness, one that his eyes couldn’t penetrate. He slowly went through the room towards where he knew the door was. Along the way his leg had hit something that felt like a trunk. He cursed silently and waited for Rayne to burst through the door.

Cullen frowned when that didn’t happen. He could understand her not hearing him climbing up the balcony, but to not hear his clumsy blundering was another matter. He finally made it to the door and opened it.

Rayne was sitting on the edge of her desk, picking at her fingernails with a letter opener. “You make an awful lot of noise, you know that?” She asked not looking up.

He grimaced. “I was beginning to worry that you didn’t come and investigate. That something had happened to you…”

She finally looked up at him. Her blue eyes were slightly rimmed in red. Either from fatigue or tears, he didn’t know. “An intruder as clumsy and loud as you were definitely wasn’t an assassin or one of Leliana’s people or Leliana herself. An intruder as loud as you were was someone I didn’t really have to fear.”

“Good to know I shouldn’t seek out the profession of a spy, assassin or bard should my position as Commander ever go away.” He said dryly.

Rayne put her letter opener down with a soft click before taking a deep breath. “I’m starting to think I need to bar my balcony doors considering its now the central hub of traffic as of late.”

“I wouldn’t have to use it if you hadn’t been avoiding me.” He snapped.

She braced her arms against the desk never flinching or showing any emotion, and that alone made him angry. “I’ve been busy lately.”

He took a step towards her. “But not too busy to see Leliana or message runners?”

“Leliana broke into my room tonight. Much like yourself. Should I have thrown her back over the balcony? As for the runners… the world doesn’t stop spinning because I’m involved with another project or grieving.”

“And before that? I know you’ve seen her.”

Rayne remained silent.

“And you thought I wouldn’t figure out what you were trying to do.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I had some hidden agenda?”

Cullen took another step towards her. “Yes. It was the same thing you pulled on Alistair during the Blight.”

She didn’t say anything, but he saw her jaw clench.

“You didn’t think I would remember you telling me this story?”

He remembered back to one of the few times he found her at The Hanged Man, a decrepit tavern in Lowtown of Kirkwall. But it was the usual haunt of Hawke’s and all his associates, Varric had lived there and Isabela was there more often than not. Rayne found herself there often especially as Aiden grew older and wanted to spend more time with Varric.

Usually she never did more than sit around and chat, but the day he came there she was drunk. Isabela had been the one to send him a messenger. It had taken some coercing to sneak out of the Gallows, but he managed to get there to find her hidden away in a dark corner trying to drink herself into oblivion.

Cullen had somehow found a way of getting her out of the Hanged Man and practically carrying her back to her home in Hightown, luckily Aiden was staying at the Hawke estate that night.

“Why are you doing this?” Cullen had asked as he held her up going up the stairs to her room.

“To forget.” She said hollowly.

“Forget?”

“The Blight. And everything I did.”

He hadn’t pushed. It was war. It was horrible, he knew that.

But she continued. “And not just… my decisions concerning the darkspawn and civil war.” She said softly. “The things I did to him…”

His curiosity had gotten the better of him. “Him?”

“Alistair.”

Cullen pushed down his jealousy as he opened her bedroom door and led her inside.

“The things I did to him…” She repeated. “To try and turn him away. He was going to be king. I was no good for him, I knew if I didn’t… it would get worse. But I knew if I just ended it…” She grunted as she fell heavily onto the bed.

Cullen moved her covers down and then knelt to one knee to start unlacing her boots to remove them.

“If I just ended it, he would never accept it.”

“He doesn’t seem to accept it now.” He mumbled as he pulled off the first boot and began working on the other. Not sure if she heard him.

“I had to make him hate me.” She choked. “I had to do the most terrible thing I could do to him. To make him hate him, so he would end it. To push him away without him knowing I was the one actually doing the pushing…”

Cullen’s fingers faltered on her laces and he looked up at her. Her drunken eyes unfocused and looking into the distance. “What did you do, Rayne?”

She was silent for a moment. “He found me in bed with Zevran.” She looked back at him. “The ultimate betrayal to him. If only that swamp witch had remained quiet…”

 

“And that’s what you’re trying to do with me now.” Cullen said to her. His anger coming forward again. “You lock yourself away, seeing everyone except me because you know that if it goes on long enough I will get angry enough to start doubting us and want to end it. How far off am I?”

Rayne didn’t answer, she simply diverted her eyes which was confession enough.

“Why Rayne? Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to get me to end this? Did I do something?”

Still no response.

He growled and spun around rubbing the back of his neck. “No… it’s not that I did something. Because in the end it’s not about something happening to you. It’s what you feel you’re doing to someone else.”

She still refused to answer.

Cullen gritted his teeth. “Say something damnit.” He growled.

“What do you want me to say?” She asked softly.

He turned back to her. “Explain.”

She shrugged. “Anything I say won’t matter in the end.”

“Humor me.”


	62. Cullen

She stared at him for a long time with hollow eyes. “I’m a Grey Warden.”

Cullen waited, but she said nothing else. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Everything.” She whispered

He growled in frustration. “Stop being evasive and give me something, Rayne.”

“I’m dying, Cullen.” She finally snapped, showing the first sign of emotion since he came here.

“What are you talking about?”

Rayne ran her fingers through her hair trying to compose her thoughts. “Have you ever heard of a Warden dying of old age? My life is going to be short. You now know about The Calling. Every Warden goes through it, I am no exception. In fact, I have every possibility of going through it sooner than most Wardens because I was recruited during a Blight.”

“Why?”

“I can’t tell you.”

He snorted. “Of course, Warden secrecy.”

“And that right there.” She snapped.

He frowned. “What?”

“Secrets.”

He just looked at her in confusion and shrugged.

“Cullen… I can never be fully honest with you. I will die young, for all I know my Calling could come tomorrow. Granted I won’t know it’s the real thing until we defeat Corypheus, but still. How can you stand to want to be with someone like that? I know how much you value trust and honesty. I won’t ever be able to give you a family, I won’t be able to grow old with you...”

“That’s what this is all about?” He cut in. “Rayne, it’s not a big secret that you are a Warden. I knew that Wardens lived short lives, everyone knows this, we just never knew why… we still don’t really. I knew that Wardens have secrets, so I knew that was going to be a part of your life I can’t be a part of. I accepted that. It’s no different than when I was with the Templars.

“And as far as family goes,” he said a bit more slowly. “I would be lying if the thought of a child didn’t pass my mind. But I knew that you being a Warden would make that more difficult. But it sure as hell didn’t mean we weren’t going to have fun trying.”

Rayne snorted.

He continued, “Would I like a child with you? Of course. But in the end I am happy enough with you and Aiden.” He took the final step to her, fully closing the gap between them causing her to have to tilt her head up to keep eye contact. “It’s not like I went into this blind, Rayne. Do I like the fact that you will have secrets from me? No. But I understand it. And as long as there are no secrets beyond the Warden business, I’ll be fine. Do I like the fact that you… you will have to go to your Calling? Maker… no. But there’s nothing we can do about it.”

Rayne’s eyes glazed over with tears and she bent her head down. “Cullen… I can’t… I don’t want you to have to go through what I will. I don’t want you to… see what I will eventually become.” She choked out the last word.

“Become?”

She shook her head. “I can’t…” She sobbed.

Cullen tried to take her hand. “I understand. It’s alright…”

“It’s not alright!” She jerked her hand away and snapped. But he knew that anger was not directed at him. “The voices will become louder until I can no longer bear it. And then I will go to the Deep Roads to die… alone. And that’s if I’m lucky.” She said softly.

He frowned and the phrasing. “Louder?”

Rayne took a shaky breath. “I’ve been hearing the whispers since the Blight.”

“Don’t all Wardens?”

“Only when we’re near darkspawn. It’s how we know they're near. But when we’re not… we shouldn’t hear the voice… the song. As the years go on, the song becomes increasingly louder. It varies from Warden to Warden.”

“And you’ve been hearing it since the Blight.” He said softly. “That’s what you meant by the possibility of your Calling happening sooner because of the Blight.”

She nodded.

Cullen’s gut clenched at the thought. “And what did you mean by being lucky to die in the Deep Roads?”

Rayne finally raised her head and wiped away her tears. “The darkspawn… they waste nothing.” She looked at him. “Have you ever heard of a Broodmother?”

“I’ve heard stories. Didn’t you kill one in Amaranthine after the archdemon?” Stories of the Hero of Ferelden spread like wild fire in Kirkwall due to all the Ferelden refugees there.

She smirked. “I’ve actually killed a few. But yes, that one was more memorable than the others. She was simply called The Mother, one of the talking darkspawn.” Her smile fell. “Do you know what a Broodmother is?”

He shrugged.

“They are the ones that spawn more darkspawn, the hurlocks, genlocks, ogres and all the rest. All depending on what they were previously depends on the type of darkspawn they spawn.”

A chill went down Cullen’s spine. “What they…” he cleared his throat. “What they were before?”

A bitter smile came to Rayne’s face. “Broodmothers are females that were taken by the darkspawn and tainted. They take any race. Like I said… the darkspawn waste nothing. Death is not the only fate that could await me when my Calling comes.”

Cullen’s throat went dry visualizing Rayne as some gruesome darkspawn. He shook his head trying to rid himself of the visual of her beautiful healthy peach skin turning into corrupted grey fish belly scales and her blue eyes turning black. He may have never seen a Broodmother, but he had seen plenty of the other darkspawn corpses after the Blight was ended.

“If I’m lucky, death will be my fate.” She looked away again. “In death, sacrifice.” She mumbled.

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck unsure of what to say to that. Finally he shook his head, “When we get to that point we’ll deal with it.”

Rayne sighed. “Cullen…”

“No, Rayne.” He said with his voice hard. Her took her face in his hands and made her look at him. “I’m not going to let you push me away. Especially not because of the Grey Wardens.”

Her body silently shook trying to contain tears.

He pressed his forehead to hers and said softly, “your Calling may very well come tomorrow. Or even next week. Or a month. Or a year. Or years from now, and so we will cherish every moment we have together until then. We will cherish each other and what we have together. Don’t push me away, Rayne. Please.”

She sobbed. “I’m sorry, Cullen.”

“I know.” His voice was heavy with emotion.

She clasped his hands that still held her face. “I love you.”

“I love you.” His lips devoured hers.

It was a kiss that was full of all the emotions they were both feeling: love, anger, pain, fear, longing. The amount of emotion coursing between them made his breath catch, he felt hers do the same. Rayne’s hands released his that were still at her face and moved to his chest and down his stomach, traveling down to the edge of his shirt until they could slip underneath. Her fingers were gentle as they trailed upon his skin, wherever she touched left a trail of fire in its wake.

Cullen finally released her face and pulled his shirt over his head leaving his chest bare. He did not go back into her embrace, instead he stood there staring down into her eyes that shined like sapphires.

Rayne lowered her eyes from his and brought them to his chest. Her hands went to him and gently traced the muscles on his arms, following every curve and ridge. Her fingers felt like feathers as they outlined the small scars she came across. Her trail took her hands over his shoulders, following his collar bone and down his chest. Every time her fingers found another scar his heart would stutter.

Rayne must have felt it. “You hate them.” She said softly.

He watched as her fingers hovered over a scar that was under his left nipple. “They are testament to what I did.” He said in equally hushed tones. “The people I killed in Kirkwall, the… Templars I watched die in Ferelden.”

She shook her head and looked up at him with eyes full of understanding and compassion. “They tell a story yes, but not the one you think.” She gently trailed her index finger over the scar. “They tell of your bravery, the will to protect the innocent in Kirkwall.” Her finger went to another. “They tell of your strength to withstand horrors and temptations. They are a story, Cullen. You get to choose how they define you.”

She leaned forward and kissed the scar under his nipple and then went to the next. She continued to kiss every scar she found on his chest until there were none left, and then she took his arm and kissed down his forearm to the inside of his wrist.

Cullen’s fingers curled to brush her cheek as she kissed his wrist.

She kissed the palm of his hand as she slid from the desk, pressing their bodies together. “Come with me.” She held his hand and led him through her bedroom door.

The only light inside was the narrow stream coming through the open door. But Cullen didn’t see anything except Rayne as she led him to her bed. Once she reached the end of the bed she turned back to him and placed her hand on his cheek. “Wait here.” Her hand slipped from his and she went back to the office.

Cullen unclasped his belt removing his sword and propping it against the end on the bed as he watched the office begin to darken as Rayne blew out the candles and smothered the torches. By the time the office was nearly as dark as the bed chamber and Rayne’s shadow moved towards the door, he was sitting on the bed removing his last boot.

Rayne came through the door holding a small candle in her hands, the small orange flame made the shadows jump on her face. She went to the small table that held a pitcher and bowl and placed the candle there, allowing just enough light to see one another.

Cullen watched as she slowly unlaced her blouse and pulled it over her head, leaving only her breast band covering her chest. He reached a hand out to her and found his hand shaking.

She took his hand, lacing her fingers through his and allowed him to bring her to the bed and sit beside him. Her free hand brushed his cheek.

His hand went up to hers and gently pressed it against his cheek and gave a weak chuckle. “I’m shaking like a blushing virgin.”

Rayne smiled at him, the lines around her eyes crinkling. “I told you: the day we made love, you would know the difference.”

She was right. This was different already. This was the first time they took their time, simply exploring one another, being intimate instead of just ripping off clothes and doing the deed. Emotion was being put into it.

Cullen released her hand on his face and brought it to her neck. Barely touching her skin, he trailed down following the curve of her collarbone into her shoulder and down her arm. As he went he felt her skin pebble beneath his touch. He stopped midway down her upper arm, to the point where her breast band started.

Never breaking eye contact with him, Rayne lifted her arms. He slipped his hands under the band and gradually lifted it over her head. Once it was off he tossed it aside to land in the shadows. His hands slid down her arms to her chest, outlining the curve of her breasts and savoring how soft and smooth she was.

His eyes went back to her face and he kissed her. His arms enveloped her and went down to her backside. Without any hesitation he lifted her and brought her to his lap so she was straddling him, ignoring the protests from his hardened groin at being so near what it desired. Finally he stood never once breaking their kiss, she wrapped her legs around his midsection as he turned so her back was now to the bed. He climbed onto the bed keeping one hand on her back as he crawled on his knees until they were at the head of the bed and slowly laid her head down on the pillow. When she was fully laid down and his body was pressed against hers he couldn’t resist the urge to slowly grind against her, causing her breath to hitch in her throat and her hold on him to tighten.

Finally he broke their kiss and trailed more down her neck and to the collarbone. When she realized he was doing down her body her legs released him but her fingers wove through his hair. When he got to her pants he continued to trail kisses along her hip as his fingers quickly unlaced them. Not wanting to waste any more time, he roughly pulled them down her legs and tossed them in the general direction he had the band.

Cullen smirked as he looked back up her body and shook his head. He crawled up her legs until he came to her mound. “The one time you decide to wear smallclothes.” He said lightly.

“I do tend to do that every once in a while.” She said with humor in her voice.

He rubbed the tip of his nose of her smallclothes feeling how wet she already was, the sensation made his groin throb like a desperate plea. He brought two fingers to her and applied pressure over her smallclothes to tease her.

Rayne squirmed under him and mewled.

Cullen brought his face back to her and took a deep breath to take in her scent and then grazed his teeth against the cloth and then bit down. Using his teeth he slid her smallclothes down her legs. When they were gone he went back and licked her lower lips. He listened to her sigh as his tongue moved up from her lips to her stomach and in the valley between her breasts. As he continued his trail he worked on unlacing his pants, as he worked up the bed between her legs his pants slid down over his hips releasing his hard shaft. By the time his face was back to hers they were down to his knees and he was able to remove them somewhat easily, with a little aid from Rayne’s legs.

He couldn’t help it, he pressed his face into the nook of her neck and began to laugh as they worked together to get his pants off. Rayne laughed with him weaving her fingers through his hair.

“The seduction has just been ruined… by my pants.” He laughed. “Way to go, Commander. Foiled by breeches.”

Rayne’s body shook beneath him laughing. “Oh, I don’t know, I find this completely sexy.”

He brought his head up to look down at her. Her arms slid down from his head to his arms. He took his thumb and rubbed gently around her eye admiring how her eyes sparkled with mixes of joy, lust and love, already a light green ring was forming around her pupil.

“Did you know your eyes change color when you are aroused?” He said softly tracing her cheek where her brands use to be. He had seen those markings half his life, he knew their pattern as well as he knew the back of his hand.

She tilted her head. “Do I?”

He nodded. “They turn green.” He thought a moment. “Mmm, well, a… turquoise? Perhaps? A beautiful blend of green and blue.”

“I never knew that.”

“No one ever told you that?”

She shook her head. “Something tells me they were interested in other things beside my eyes.”

He was about to speak but thought better of it. He didn’t want to ruin this moment. And yet here he was talking about her eyes, even if they were beautiful.

Rayne smiled. “Even Alistair didn’t.”

He blinked. “How did…”

“Did you know you don’t hide what’s on your mind very well when your aroused?” She said with humor in her voice.

Cullen chuckled and lowered his face down to hers. “Probably because usually the only thing on my mind when I’m aroused is you and all the ways I could please you.” He kissed her.

“Maybe we should get back to that.” She said as best as she could with their lips pressed together.

“We should.” He slid his body up hers. He continued kissing her as his hand went down between their bodies and spread her lips as his shaft slipped into her opening. He went slow and easy into her wet warm core causing her to moan into his mouth. He went as slow as he could until his shaft was completely enveloped down to the hilt. He felt Rayne’s fingers clench into his back.

Once he was fully inside her he began to grind against her again allowing him to apply pressure to her clit. Her legs wrapped around him pushing him in as deeply as he could. He went slowly at first, but gradually picking up speed when Rayne urged him on. Her breathing became quicker with small moans of pleasure. He continued until he felt her body shiver under his and the walls inside began to squeeze tighter around him.

Cullen adjusted his position, causing Rayne to mewl in protest. He lifted his upper body off of her so he could look into her eyes, but he found hers closed. “Rayne, look at me.” He said as he slid out of her.

She slowly opened her eyes, they were now completely green.

“Don’t look away.” He breathed as he slid back into her.

When he was sure she wasn’t going to close her eyes or look away he began pumping steadily in and out of her, watching her eyes spark with each thrust. He went harder and faster at her urging, listening to her moans and sobs of pleasure. The only word out of her mouth was his name that was like a sweet song to his ears.

Cullen lifted one of her legs, holding it near her chest with his arm to allow him better access to go deeper. Rayne cried out and her nails dug into his arms leaving bright red trails going down them spotted with blood. Her head went back as he picked up momentum as he was reaching his climax.

When she screamed in pleasure and her body shook beneath him, he fell apart and thrust one last time. His body shuddering as he found his release moaning her name into the nook of her neck. When his body felt completely spent he fell down on her, breathing heavily trying to regain his thoughts and stop the hammering of his heart that he could feel matched Rayne’s.

He felt her arms encircle him as she fought to control her stampeding heart, her arms and hands slid across his sweaty back.

Lying there with her, as his mind came down from the euphoria, he smiled at the feeling of completion in that moment. He felt like he had just found the last piece of his soul that was broken all those years ago.

“Maker’s breath…” He breathed finally able to form words.

“Agreed.” Rayne breathed into his ear as she traced shapes along his back.

“I should probably get off of you.” He said already preparing his body to move, even if it was protesting at the thought.

“Please don’t.” She nuzzled her face into his sweat soaked hair. “I love the feeling of your weight on me.”

Another smile came to his face as he lay back down, sliding his arms under her body.

They lay like that for a long time, not saying a word, simply enjoying holding one another. But he finally sighed and pushed himself up and slid out of her with a soft suck and rolled over to be next to her.

Rayne hummed in pleasure and she rolled over and laid her head on his chest. “Pity, I was enjoying you being there.”

Cullen chuckled and ran his fingers over her shoulder. “Just means we get to do this more often then. If that’s alright with you, that is.”

“More than alright.” She kissed his chest. “So? How was your first time?”

He smiled and looked down at her. “Absolute perfection.”

She looked up at him. “Good.”

He kissed the top of her head. “Get some sleep love.”

Rayne smiled softly and nuzzled into him. Before long her breathing became slow and regular and Cullen felt himself right behind her.

As his eyelids began to droop he continued to stare down at the woman in his arms, marveling that he had ever found such a person. And he vowed that he would do everything in his power to never lose her. He wanted her in his life until the end of his days, he wanted to go to bed every night like this and wake up in the morning to see her face.

Making that vow, plans began to form in his sleep hazy mind as he drifted into nightmare free dreams.


	63. Amell

She slept soundly for a few hours before she found herself wanting more of him. Rayne should have let him sleep, since he was actually sleeping so peacefully, but her body wanted him. And she had him at least two more times and in different ways. As Cullen had described it, it was absolute perfection. She had never felt so… whole. Not even with Alistair who had technically been her first.

A few hours before sunrise, if the candle was any indicator, they both fell into a deep sleep and didn’t awaken until knocking on her bedroom door roused her.

Cullen grumbled under his breath and tightening his hold around her waist which pulled her closers to his chest, nuzzling his face into her hair.

Rayne chuckled.

Another knock. “Mistress Rayne?” Crysta’s muffled voice called through the closed door. “Are you awake, m’lady.”

“Go away.” Cullen growled. Rayne doubted that Crysta heard.

“I’m waking up,” Rayne called.

“M-my’lady, there is a… shirt lying on the floor of your office.” She hesitated. “A, uh, man’s shirt from the way it looks.”

Cullen sighed in annoyance, blowing warm air onto the back of her neck. “Is she always this annoying when you first wake up?”

“Most the time.” Rayne said with humor.

Before she could stop Crysta, the door to her room opened. “Mistress…” She gasped.

Rayne sighed in annoyance and didn’t even try to cover her and Cullen up; there was no point now. “I said I was waking up.” Clear annoyance and disapproval in her voice. Her eyes went to Crysta who was scarlet red and holding Cullen’s shirt in her hands.

“I… I… didn’t hear. I… C-commander C-c-cullen…”

He growled low and lifted his head from her hair. “Get. Out.” He barked.

Crysta jumped and spun around.

“Leave the shirt.” Rayne called before she left.

The elf dropped it on the floor and bolted from the room, slamming the door behind her, plunging the room back into dark shadows.

Cullen sighed and lowered his head back down. “Finally… wait, what time is it?”

Rayne chuckled and rolled over in his arms until she was facing him and hummed in thought. “I’ve had to hazard a guess? Mid-morning. But definitely not near afternoon, Crysta has a set time that she arrives at the office.”

He opened one of his eyes to look at her. “How do you not sleep all through the day without the sun to wake you?”

“I have an internal clock I guess.” She laughed. “Also, there comes a certain point in the day where people require my attention and don’t leave me alone.”

“Hmm. Makes sense.”

She kissed his nose. “How did you sleep?”

“Very well. Except for the woman in this bed who kept waking me.” He said lightly with a smirk.

She smiled. “Complaining? Should I have let you just sleep?”

“Absolutely not.” He tightened his hold on her and rolled onto his back bringing her with him to have her lying on top of him. “You need to do that as often as you can. I’d rather be awakened by a beautiful woman wanting me than by nightmares.”

“Glad to know I’m more desirable than nightmares.” She teased.

“No, that’s not what…” He groaned. “I didn’t mean it like that. Maker’s breath. I just meant…”

“I know what you meant, Cullen.” She laughed and kissed him. She felt a smile come to his face. Finally she pulled away and looked at him piecing out her thoughts.

Cullen tilted his head. “What’s wrong?”

She shook her head. “Nothing. I was just thinking…” She bit her lower lip.

He rubbed her back assuredly. “What is it?”

She continued to nibble on her lower lip and began tracing her index fingers in shapes along his chest. “I was just thinking that… if we were going to do this more often, that, uh, it would be easier if you moved in here.” She looked back up at his face.

A slow smile came to his face. “You’re asking me to move in here with you?”

“If you want.”

He studied her. “Do _you_ want me to?”

“I would. But I don’t know how you would feel about it. You keep your office and room at the tower of course, but… I would like you here… with me.”

Cullen’s smile widened. “I would like that.” He kissed her and then rolled again pinning her underneath his body.


	64. Amell

She rubbed a soapy rag up and down her arms and shoulders. Rayne leaned forward trying to scrub her back.

Cullen chuckled behind her. “Here, let me help.”

“You don’t have to.”

“No. But I want to.” The water splashed around her as he leaned forward and took the rag from her hands.

Cullen dipped the rag in the hot water and began gently scrubbing her back. Rayne drew her legs up to her chest and leaned over them to stretch her back. She closed her eyes and hummed in pleasure.

“Rayne, may I ask you something?”

“You need to ask permission?”

“I suppose not.” He hesitated a moment. “Why didn’t you heal these?” The rag ran over one of the scars on her back.

She opened her eyes. “I did.” She said softly.

“I’m not talking about the wounds. I mean the scars. I know if you truly wanted to, you could have healed these scars to where there was nothing to show. But yet, you didn’t. Why?”

Rayne propped her chin on her knees. “They were reminders.”

“Reminders?” His voice was laced in confusion. “Why would you want to remember something like that?”

“It’s not a reminder of what happened,” she explained. “But a reminder of what I learned about myself after.”

Cullen stopped moving the rag along her back. “And what is that?”

“That I’m broken.”

He didn’t say anything right away. “I don’t understand.”

Rayne hugged her legs closer. “After Zevran rescued me, I had a lot of time to think. Not only about what I just went through, but everything over the last decade. How I had been losing small pieces of myself and I’ve been desperately trying to put pieces back. But no matter what, the little cracks would always be there.” She licked her lips as she compiled her thoughts. “I pity the young mage apprentice I once was in the tower, for how naïve she was. But sometimes, I miss her too. The scars are reminders of how damaged and broken I’ve become, how could I be close to anyone with all my jagged edges?”

“Oh, Rayne…” Cullen said softly and dropped the rag into water.

She felt his hand gently grasp her shoulder; she slid across the bottom of the tub as he pulled her back to him. She didn’t fight it; she fell back into his embrace to lean against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her, pressing her tightly against his wet body.

“You’re not broken.” He whispered into her ear. “You’ve simply grown and there is nothing wrong with that. They taught you lessons, but they haven’t kept you from loving and smiling. You’re not as sharp as you think.” He rubbed his face along her neck and kissed it. “If you were we wouldn’t be here now. You told me my scars don’t define me, neither do yours. Even the scars on the inside.”

Rayne raised her head and kissed him.

Cullen slid a hand down her body until it was submerged and went between her legs. She sighed as he spread her thighs and a finger teased at her opening. Her tongue darted into his mouth as their kiss became more hungry…

A sharp knock on the door made them both jump.

Cullen sighed. “Never fails, does it?” He mumbled.

Rayne chuckled.

“Are you two planning on staying in there all day?” Leliana’s voice called.

He brought his hand out of the water and draped his arms over the tubs edges. “We might.” He called back.

Rayne laughed. “I doubt it. You would go insane if we spent all day in my room. Not doing any kind of work.”

Cullen grinned at her. “Oh, I don’t know, I get a good work out with you in bed.”

She shook her head as the door to her room opened.

Leliana sauntered in unperturbed by the fact they were bathing and went and sat on the edge Rayne’s current wreck of a bed. “Glad to see you two had a fruitful night.”

Rayne sighed, turning to let her back to rest against Cullen’s chest. “We are a little busy, Leliana.”

Leliana waved her hand dismissively. “Nothing I haven’t seen before and you are thoroughly covering the Commander.” She looked at Cullen. “You do know about us, yes?”

“Unfortunately.” He said dryly.

“I swear… just because it’s something you’ve seen before – ten years ago, mind you – doesn’t mean it’s okay, Leliana.” Rayne said in annoyance. What was it with all her previous lovers?

Leliana shrugged and crossed her legs. “We need to discuss the masquerade. It’s in little over a week.”

“This couldn’t have waited until I was back in my office?” Cullen said in annoyance.

“Perhaps. But this allows me to speak to both of you at once.”

“What does this have to do with me?” Rayne asked.

“Well, you _are_ going to be there too.”

“Like hell I am.”

Leliana sighed. “Rayne, we need everyone there. We don’t know what we’ll be going up against. We just know Corypheus is sending agents to kill Celene. We will need all eyes and ears there. Besides, Celene will expect the Hero of the Fifth Blight there.”

“As I recall, you’re a Hero of the Blight too.” Rayne said dryly. “When are you lot going to realize I’m not meant for diplomatic situations? Throwing me into a palace full Orlesians is like throwing a bull into a china shop. I’ll just make a mess of it.”

Leliana frowned. “Celene expects _you_ to be there. She will take it as a slight if you don’t.”

“Almost everyone outside of Ferelden doesn’t even believe that it was even a Blight. Why would they care?”

“Celene knew better. You know that through the correspondence between her and Cailan.”

Rayne sighed. “Ah yes, the letters of peace and potential marriage.”

“What’s this now?” Cullen said finally.

“King Cailan and Celene had been sending letters to one another even before the Blight started. Cailan was contemplating putting aside Anora – who had yet to give him heirs – and marry Celene. Not only for the chance at heirs but a peace between Orlais and Ferelden.”

“Huh… who knew…” Cullen said in mild surprise.

“We did. We found the letters at Ostagar with King Maric’s legendary sword.”

“Has… King Alistair ever, uh, thought of trying that? Marrying Celene for peace?”

“Good luck with that.” Rayne mumbled.

They were all silent a few heartbeats before Leliana cleared her throat. “In any case, we need you there. And I’m not the only one that wants you there. So does the Inquisitor.”

“Is he back?” Rayne asked.

“Not yet. My scouts say he is nearly here though. But this was discussed before you all left for the Graves.” Leliana smirked. “If it makes you feel any better, Josephine thinks it would be wise for you to stay behind.”

“See, you should listen to your diplomat.”

“Please, Rayne.” Cullen said behind her. “Don’t leave me alone with those people.”

She sighed in annoyance and rubbed her head. She stopped and a slow smile came to her face as an idea came to her. “Yes, that could work…” She mumbled.

“What?” Cullen asked.

“You’re mostly concerned with having me there for eyes and ears, yes?” Rayne asked Leliana.

“Yes.”

“Not the fact that Celene wants the Hero of Ferelden?”

“Yes?” Leliana said in confusion.

 **Yes, that could work.** Rayne thought to herself. She pulled herself up to stand, water sloshed around her and dripped down off her body. “Crysta! Bring me my map will you?” She called as she stepped out of the tub.

Cullen raised an eyebrow at her. “What are you doing?”

Rayne grabbed a towel and patted off the most of the water before grabbing her robe and tying it around her as the door to her room opened. Crysta entered with her eyes cast down and rushed over to Rayne and handed her the folded up map.

“Thank you.” Rayne said and dismissed her again. She went over to her bed and spread the map on top.

She heard splashing water as Cullen moved in the tub. “What’s going on, Rayne?”

“Good question.” Leliana said coming to Rayne’s side.

Rayne nibbled on her lower lip in thought. “You said the ball was a little over a week away?”

“Yes. Would you like to share with the class what is on your mind?” Leliana asked in annoyance.

Finally, Rayne nodded and looked up at Leliana. “I need to make a trip. If all goes according to plan, I should be able to meet you all at the Winter Palace.”

“A trip?” Cullen said. “Where?”

Rayne turned towards him, he was leaning forward in the tub and looked like he wanted to get out but with Leliana in the room he was forced to stay. “To Serault.”

“Serault?” Leliana said in surprise. “What in Maker’s name for?”

“An old friend there that may be able to help me.”

“Help you with what, Rayne?” Cullen asked in annoyance. “You’re not telling us anything.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to reveal anything now, not knowing if she will even agree to it.” She looked back at Leliana. “In either case, I will meet you at the Winter Palace. That just means I need to leave today if I want to make it in time.”

Leliana studied her and then finally sighed. “Very well. Do you need anything from my end?”

“I will write my friend a missive and I need one of your birds to fly it to Serault.”

She nodded. “Very well. I will go make the preparations.” Her eyes went to Cullen. “Since it looks like you and our Commander need to talk.”

Rayne folded up her map and handed it to Leliana. “Can you give this to Crysta on your way out?”

Once Leliana was gone and the door was shut Cullen finally spoke again. “Mind telling me what you’re planning?” He asked as he rose from the tub and stepped out of it as he grabbed a towel.

“Not yet. Like I said, I want to make sure I can do it.”

He wrapped the towel around his hips. “But you _will_ be at the Winter Palace?”

Rayne gave him a lopsided smile and went to her dresser and began pulling out her clothes for the day, looking for her riding leathers. “Don’t trust me?” She teased.

Cullen chuckled. “I just know how you avoid politics like the plague.”

She pulled out everything she needed and set them on top of the dresser before she started for her armoire to brush out her hair and apply oils.

Cullen caught her first and pinned her against the wall. “In such a rush.” He teased as he lowered his face to the base of her throat and kissed it.

Rayne chuckled and tried to gently push at his shoulders. “I told you, I need to leave today if I want to do what I need.”

He moved his shoulders causing her hands to slide off his still wet skin. His hand went to the sash that held her robe closed. “No time for anything else?” His breath tickled her as he pulled on the sash and began removing the robe from her. As he bared one breast he sucked on the nipple as his hands continue to pull her robe off until it fell to the floor.

She moaned as she ran her fingers through his wet hair. “Cullen…” She said in weak protest.

He continued his trails of kisses and licks down her body, stopping briefly at her hips. “I can always stop if it’s really that important.” He said as he grazed his teeth against her still tender flesh from the bath.

“Maker no,” She sighed as he continued down, kneeling between her legs. “I am a bad influence on you.”

Cullen’s response was to lick a trail from her thigh to her heat. She bucked as his tongue attacked her clit. He lifted her right leg and threw it over his shoulder to give him better access. Rayne arched her back as her arms searched for something to find grab onto, one of her hands found the edge of the dresser. Her nails bit into the wood as she had to keep from pulling too roughly on Cullen’s hair as he worked on bringing her close to her climax, and then she finally let go and cried out as her orgasm claimed her body. It was only through Cullen holding onto her that she managed to stay standing as her muscles shook.

He lowered her leg back to the ground once she was stable and  kissed back up her body, rubbing his body against hers allowing her to feel his erection between her legs. He claimed her lips as she moaned her body craving for more. Her hands went to his towel that had somehow managed to stay on his hips.

Cullen gently grabbed her hands and hummed into her mouth. “I thought you had places you needed to be.” He teased.

“Please, Cullen.” She begged between kisses.

She felt him smile against her lips. His hand went to the towel and deftly tugged it from his hips and threw it away. Cullen kissed her lips one last time before moving to her neck and sucking. Before Rayne could say anything, he lifted her against the wall, her legs hooked over his arms.

Cullen moved his body until he was deep inside of her. Rayne cried out as he pressed against her, weaving her finger through his hair while the other hand pressed into his back. He held her there for a heartbeat before sliding his body against her. His breath hot on her skin and teeth grazing over her as he pounded into her, making her ass smack against the wall with each thrust.

Rayne dug her nails into his back as they both climaxed together. Cullen’s lips claimed hers moaning into each other’s mouths. She felt his body shudder against her and then still and relax. He kissed her lightly as he gently lowered her wobbly legs back to the floor one at a time.

“That was…” She breathed. “New.” Unable to come up with any other word that would do it justice.

Cullen chuckled and scooped her up and brought her to the couch over by the door. He sat down with her in his arms. “I didn’t hurt you did I?” He asked as he sat back against the armrest and stretched out his body along the length of the sofa.

Rayne stretched out her body on top of his, nestling herself into the nook of his body and laid her head in the curve of his neck as he brushed fingers over her shoulder. “Not at all.”

“Good.” She heard the relief in his voice. “Would it be something you would be interested in doing again?”

“Maker, yes.”

His body shook lightly with a laugh. “Good.”

Rayne brought her face up to his and gently traced his lips with her index finger. “We’re going to need another bath after that.”

Cullen hummed. “I don’t know. I rather like the idea of spending the rest of my day with you on my face and body.”

She couldn’t help the blush that came to her face, causing her to bury it back in his neck.

He laughed. “Everything we’ve done and what you’ve said to me, but it’s me saying _that_ that causes you to blush?”

She punched him playfully. “Shut up.” She groaned. “Oh Maker…”

“What now?” He said with humor in his voice.

“That wall… it’s the one that’s joined to the office, isn’t it?”

“Yes?”

“Oh dear Maker,” feeling the heat come back to her face. “Crysta…”

Cullen laughed. “Well, she can barely look at you now; I can only imagine how she will act after this.”

Rayne’s only response was groaning.

He kissed the top of her head. “You traveled with Alistair during the Blight, presumably making love during that time, with a sizable group and yet you’re embarrassed by someone hearing us? I’m not quite sure how I should take that.” He teased.

“We usually left camp.” Her words muffled against him.

“Not that far I would think.”

“No, but…”

“Rayne, they probably still heard the two of you.” He laughed. “Or at least you, you are rather loud… well, unless Alistair didn’t…”

“I’m not having that conversation with you.” She felt completely mortified that it was even brought up. “I have no doubts they heard. But that… ugh. It was just different than Crysta, the doe-eyed mageling, hearing!”

Cullen tightened his hold on her and kissed the top of her head. “Ah, _vhenan._ ” He said with a voice heavy with love and humor.

“I hate you.” She mumbled.

“I love you, too.”


	65. Cullen

Despite his teasing of Rayne growing embarrassed by Crysta no doubt hearing them, when he finally emerged from the bed chamber and into the office he couldn’t contain the blush that came to his cheeks when the elf’s eyes darted up briefly to lock on to his, causing her own cheeks to turn scarlet. He attempted a greeting as he hurried out the door and down to the main hall to his own office.

Cullen sighed at the stack of papers that had already accumulated there since the previous night. “It never ends.” He mumbled. He thought briefly on getting a sort of assistant like Rayne for days like this where he had been away most of it. He quickly discarded the idea. He didn’t like the idea of someone else in here messing with his system.

Ignoring the papers he climbed up the ladder and changed into some clean clothes, throwing the dirty into a cloth wash bag that had all the rest. And then set to the task of tossing his personal effects into the trunk with his clean clothes.

He reached under his bed until his hand brushed against a small wooden box. Feeling the lump in his throat at the contact, he slowly brought it out and then sat on the bed. He didn’t need to look inside to know what it contained. Inside was a vial of lyrium and a spoon to measure out doses. On the outside was a wood burning of Andraste and the Chantry’s blazing sun. He had this box since his time at the Tower in Ferelden.

Cullen simply stared down at it trying to decide if he should take this as well. He no longer used it. Perhaps leaving it here while he now lived in Rayne’s room… _their_ room now, would lessen the urge to take it. But leaving it here, in a room where he could spend a better part of his day alone, calling to him wasn’t an appealing thought. At least with Rayne with him she could help him fight the urge.

He heard the door below him open. “Commander?” A familiar male voice called.

“I’m up here, Inquisitor. I’ll be down in a moment.” He finally threw the box into the trunk and slammed the lid shut and latched it. With a grunt he slid it across the floor to the edge of the floor where the ladder was and looked down.

Alec stood below looking over a book case.

“You may want to move back, I’ll be dropping a few things. One of which is rather heavy.”

Alec nodded and went to the furthest door.

Cullen pushed the trunk over the ledge with his foot. He winced slightly as the heavy trunk landed on the stone floor below and was glad both the floor and the trunk were sturdy.

“Maker’s breath, Cullen, what are you doing?” Alec asked as Cullen threw down his dirty laundry bag.

Cullen slid down the ladder and turned to Alec. “I’m moving. Or more appropriate, I’m changing sleeping locations. My office will still be here.”

The Inquisitor tilted his head. And then the realization made his eyes brighten. “You’re moving in with Rayne!”

He rubbed the back of his neck as he felt the heat come to his cheeks. “I am.”

Alec sighed. “That’s a relief.” He mumbled.

Cullen frowned in confusion. “What?”

“Uh, nothing. Doesn’t matter.” He cleared his throat. “Speaking of Rayne, how is she?”

“Better now.” Cullen said leaning against his desk and crossing his arms. “Truthfully last night was the first I had seen her since she first returned to Skyhold.”

Alec frowned. “What? Why?”

“Complicated and a long story.” He said with a sigh. “We worked through it last night though.”

Alec smirked and his eyes ticked down. “Yes, I can see how you two… worked through it.”

Cullen frowned and followed his gaze. They fell on his arms, the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows revealing the claw marks from the previous night. He blushed; he had forgotten that Rayne didn’t heal him up. He could only imagine what his back looked like. “Ah… yes, well, uh…”

Alec laughed. “Here.” He grabbed one of Cullen’s arms before he could protest and began healing his arm. “Can’t have our Commander going around looking like he was at the losing end of a fight.” He joked.

“Hey, they’re not _that_ bad.”

The Inquisitor looked up from his work and smirked. “They’re bloody.”

“Well, in my defense, I’ve had worse.”

“From Rayne or fights?”

Cullen chuckled. “Both.”

Alec shook his head in amusement.

“My apologies, Inquisitor, you came here for a reason and here I am gossiping like an old woman in weaving circle. Was there something you needed?”

Alec released his arm and grabbed the other, he paused and blinked. “Oh, right. You received the information on the lyrium smugglers I sent?” He continued healing Cullen’s arm.

“I did. I have people looking into it. There have been reports about their main supply line being in Emprise Du Lion. But nothing confirmed yet. Waiting on more information.”

Alec nodded. “Good. One step closer, right?”

Cullen nodded. “I only hope we’ll be able to find Samson or some kind of weakness before we confront him again.”

“You worry too much, Commander.” He released Cullen’s arm and looked up. “Anywhere else?”

“Anywhere else, what?”

“Claw marks. Or… any other type of injuries.” Alec’s cheeks flushed. “I mean… unless they’re, uh, below the waist. Then I wouldn’t, uh…”

Cullen diverted his eyes and cleared his throat. “No, none there. Just my back, but that’s nothing.”

“Come on, I might as well finish. Remove your shirt.”

“Inquisitor…”

“That’s an order, Commander.”

Cullen grumbled but began removing his shirt. If there was one person he didn’t want to have command him to remove his clothes, the Inquisitor would have been at the top of that list. He dropped his shirt on his desk and turned so his back was to Alec.

Alec whistled. “Wow, she, uh, sure does a number doesn’t she?”

Cullen felt heat come to his face and his neck.

Alec chuckled. “Calm down, Commander. Your secret… or her secret is safe with me.” He placed his hands on Cullen’s back.

He sighed. “Trust me, her… enthusiasm is not a big secret.”

He felt Alec’s hands falter for a moment and then went back to work.

Cullen gritted his teeth as his back began to itch to the point where he wanted to crawl out of his own skin. His back must have been worse than he originally thought.

“How can you stand all that pain?” Alec finally asked.

“She usually heals me up afterwards. And, uh, well… during the act it’s quite… pleasurable, to say the least.”

“Really?”

Cullen tried controlling his blush. This shouldn’t be such a sensitive topic for him to talk about. “You’ve never tried?”

“Can’t say I’ve ever had a partner that was into that kind of thing… that I know of at least.”

“Well… maybe bring it up to Dorian? As I said, during the act, it’s pleasurable and brings a bigger, uh…” He could no longer control his blush.

“Climax?” Alec said with humor in his voice.

“Yes.” He said hesitantly.

Alec laughed. “It’s alright, Commander.” He removed his hands. “There, done.”

Cullen nodded and grabbed his shirt, slipping it back over his head as he turned back around. “My thanks, Inquisitor.”

Alec nodded and grinned. “Look at us. Undressing each other and bonding over how to get the best sexual experience.”

“Maker’s breath.” Cullen mumbled and rubbed the back of his neck and he felt yet another blush.

“I’m sorry.” Alec said not sounding the least bit apologetic. “I’ll stop now.”

Cullen sighed. “Thank you.”

“You may want to work on that though. Be more open about that kind of thing, especially being in a relationship with someone like Rayne.”

Cullen thought back to the wall encounter and thought that perhaps the Inquisitor was right. He cleared his throat. “Was there anything else, Inquisitor?”

Alec shook his head. He pointed at the trunk. “Need some help with that? Looks a little heavy to carry by yourself.”

“I would appreciate it.” He bent down to lift one side of the trunk.

Alec snapped his fingers and the trunk lifted off the ground.

Cullen shook his head. “Of course.” He smiled and went over to his coat rack and lifted his coat off and threw it over his shoulder. He grabbed his wash bag and threw it over the same shoulder covering his coat. He motioned to Alec. “After you.”

With Alec leading the way they managed to wind through the maze of dignitaries in the main hall, some even trying to stop Alec to speak with him. Alec kept on a pleasant smile and promised them he would see each of them after he was finished with his current task. Cullen saw the Inquisitor roll his eyes at least once which caused him to chuckle and shake his head, glad that he wasn’t required to deal with them all.

By the time they made it up the stairs to his new room, Rayne was at her desk writing with Cole standing next to her looking over her shoulder.

She looked up and smiled. “Well, that went rather fast. Welcome back, Alec.”

Alec nodded. “Glad to be back. How are things here?”

She gave him a lopsided smile. “Well enough. And just like I got done telling Cole, I’m fine.”

“I didn’t…”

“No. But that’s what your question was implying, was it not?”

Alec sighed. “Maybe.”

Rayne turned her eyes to Cullen and pointed at the trunk. “That’s all you have?”

He shrugged. “You have to remember, I led a Templars life before joining the Inquisition. We weren’t meant to keep personal effects. But I’ve acquired a few small things over time.”

She smiled and then went rummaging through her desk drawer until she pulled out a wax seal ring. She took the black candle she had been burning and slowly dribbled wax onto her folded letter and pressed the ring into it.

“When will you be leaving?” Cullen asked.

“I’ll take this to Leliana and will leave in a few hours.” She finally removed the ring and tossed it back into the drawer. She smiled at him and nodded towards the bedroom. “Go ahead and make yourself comfortable. I emptied some of the dresser drawers for you to use.”

“You didn’t have to do that, I could have kept my clothes in the trunk.”

Rayne raised an eyebrow. “No, I want you to feel at home and comfortable. Living out of a trunk isn’t that.” She picked up her letter and went to him. She kissed his cheek. “I won’t be long.”

Cullen watched her go with Cole in tow, a smile on his face.

“You two are adorable.” Alec said in a very pleased voice.

Cullen shook his head and headed to the bedroom. “You said that before.”

“Well, you are.” Alec laughed.

Cullen dropped his bag on the floor near at the end of the bed and draped his coat over the bed itself. He heard Alec drop the trunk near the dresser. With that, he set into the task of placing his clothes in it, placing his personal effects on top until he found a place for them.

“Wow. That is amazing.” Alec said with awe.

“What’s that?” Cullen asked not looking up from his task.

“This painting. It’s sad, but the artistry is amazing. Didn’t know Rayne was such an artist.”

Frowning in confusion, he finally looked up and saw what Alec was admiring. His jaw nearly hit the floor. He had been so distracted throughout the day and then last night it was too dark to see the painting on the far wall next to the hearth.

On one side of the painting was a golden field with a few trees dotting the area with leaves of gold, orange and red. Blue hazy mountains were in the background against a blue sky. It looked like a field during autumn. On the other side was the complete opposite, it was dark forest cast in shadows of black and shades of purple. The weeping willows were black shadows with only the soft pale glow of the moon peeking through the canopies and small dots of glowing silver at the forest floor that were perhaps flowers. It was a haunting beauty.

And then standing at the forefront on either side was an elf. On the side of light was a male elf with honey colored skin and bare chested and green pants covering his legs. He had short spiked golden hair and long tapered ears. His head was tilted down and amber eyes half-lidded as he stared longingly down at the figure opposite him. On the side of darkness was a female elf with black skin with silver swirling tattoos covering her body that was barely covered by revealing armor. Her hair was stark white and fell softly down to her thighs, her ears poking through. And just like with the male, her blue eyes were cast down, as if unable to meet his gaze. But in them was a look of pain and longing.

And where the two worlds came to meet both elves had a hand pressed to the middle, as if an invisible barrier were between them keeping them apart. Just as Alec described, it was beautiful, if a bit sad. Two lovers so close to one another yet they could never be together, separated by their two vastly different worlds.

“She did an excellent job of capturing both of you.” Alec’s voice broke into his thoughts.

Cullen blinked. “What are you talking about?”

Alec finally turned to him. “You don’t see it? It’s you and Rayne.”

Frowning he studied the elves more closely. Alec was right. They were prefect paintings of him and Rayne if they were elves.

“Crysta, you have everything you need to handle this place while I’m gone?” Rayne’s voice carried in from the office.

“Well, uh…” Alec said hesitantly. “I guess I will see you later, Commander?”

Cullen nodded to him. “Of course. Thank you, again, Inquisitor.”

Alec smiled and went out the door. “Good luck on your trip to… wait, where are you going?”

Cullen sat on the bed waiting.

Rayne laughed. “Serault. And I’ll meet the rest of you at the Winter Palace in a week.”

Alec groaned. “I forgot all about that. Would it be considered rude if the Inquisitor called in sick?”

“If I have to go to this thing, so do you.” Rayne said with a laugh.

“Well, good luck.” Alec said, sounding fainter.

Rayne entered the room and she smiled at him. “Making yourself at home?”

“I was.” He nodded to the painted wall. “Is that how you see us?”

She tilted her head in confusion and turned. She winced. “Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.”

She turned back to him. “Well, in my defense, I started painting that before we became an item.”

“Fair enough.” He conceded that point. “Question now is: do you still feel that way?”

Rayne nibbled on her lower lip and then sighed. She came over and sat next to him. “Honestly? Some times.” She studied him a moment and then smirked. “Can you blame me? You and I… we’ve been part of two completely different worlds for most of our lives. If it wasn’t for one small change, we would still be there.”

Cullen looked back to the painting. “Okay, fair point.” He tapped his leg and turned back to her. “Do you ever think about if you weren’t recruited into the Wardens?”

She snorted. “I would have been made Tranquil.”

He rolled his eyes. “Rephrase: Do you ever think about what if you didn’t help Jowan?”

She looked to the painting. “I use to think about it all the time during the Blight. How I got roped into trying to save a nation, and felt like I was failing.” She sighed. “I was meant to become Irving’s apprentice. Who knows? Maybe I would have eventually become First Enchanter, like he wanted me to. Even if I hated the idea.”

Cullen picked at his nails as she spoke.

“But, that was Irving, always wanting me to be something more than I wanted.” She said with a voice filled with love for her old mentor. “Always seeing something more in me. Of course, that wouldn’t mean much when the war started.”

He smiled and looked up at her. “I don’t know, maybe you could have stopped Fiona from acting rash.” He raised an eyebrow. “Unless you agree with what she did?”

Rayne thought a few moments before shrugging. “Not every Circle was like Ferelden’s. Look at Kirkwall. I can understand why Fiona wanted to declare mage independence. Just like I can understand why Anders did what he did. Do I agree with their methods? No. And Fiona didn’t fully think her plan through. I mean really, how did she expect all these mages that have known nothing but the Circle to get on in the outside world? Most of them had nowhere to go!”

Cullen couldn’t help himself, he laughed. “See? At the very least you should have been a First Enchanter to maybe talk some sense into her that her plan was flawed.”

She smiled. “Ah, you’re assuming she would have listened. In all the times we have spoken, even before the war began, she never held my opinion very high. Like most that believe so strongly in their beliefs, if I didn’t agree one-hundred percent on what she wanted my opinion was invalid.”

“You’re probably right.” He said with humor lacing his words.

Rayne leaned back against the bed, using her arms to prop herself up. “What about you? Do you ever think about it? About what would have happened between us had I stayed at the Circle?”

Cullen’s smile melted away and he looked away from her. “With everything that happened? I don’t like to think about that ‘what if’.” He said softly. “If you had remained at the Tower you would have been there when Uldred attacked, which means you would have either been killed or tortured until you agreed to become an abomination. And I,” His voice caught. “Whoever came to our rescue in your place, I would have pleaded for them to kill every mage, and that would have included you.”

He turned to her. “Just like I had try to do with you. The very thought that I… that I would want you dead for something Uldred did… it sickens me. Just like my anger afterwards and my hate and… the things I said to you.”

Rayne’s face softened into a look of compassion. She pushed herself off the bed and leaned against him, laying her head on his shoulder. “You still haven’t forgiven yourself for that. Even if I have.”

He kissed the top of her head. “Just like you haven’t forgiven yourself for the things that happened during the Blight… like Amaranthine.”

“That is different.” She mumbled.

He looked down at her, but was unable to see her face. “Is it? I told you before Rayne: the dead don’t hold grudges. The people understand what you did. You made a choice.”

She sighed. “Can we talk about something else?”

He rolled his eyes but he nodded. “Alright.”

She was quiet a few moments, “did you ever use to think about what kind of future we would have had if I remained at the Tower? And the Blight and Uldred never happened.”

Cullen smiled. “I always use to fantasize about the day that you were allowed to leave the Tower. I always thought about me leaving the Order then and we finding a small cottage somewhere near a lake, since you loved the sounds of water so much.”

“You remember that?” Rayne said in surprise.

“Of course. Just like I remember your love of the moon and what it represented. I know your favorite flower was a calla lily, favorite color was purple and your favorite season was autumn because you loved the colors the leaves on the trees changed into.”

She shook her head. “I can’t believe you remember all that.” She said in amusement.

“What can I say?” His voice light. “I was in love. Still am.”

“Cullen,” Rayne voice was somber. “If you knew then what you know now about the Templar Order and what would be required of you and what you would go through… would you still have chosen that path?”

Cullen wrapped an arm around her and rubbed her shoulder with the pad of his thumb. “I would. Because it led me to meeting you.”

She lifted her head and looked at him.

He smiled. “I would go through it all again if it meant I would be here with you right now.”

She smiled and shook her head. “You fool.” But her voice was full of love.

He leaned in. “Perhaps. But I’m your fool.”

Their lips met and he held her tight.


	66. Trevelyan

He sighed as he scanned the crowds of people around him. A sea of masks in puffed up colorful suits and dresses. Alec had to keep his face pleasant. He couldn’t help but think that he was lucky in the fact that he had been a mage. He managed to avoid all this frivolity growing up, instead of being obligated by his family to attend every soiree in the Free Marches.

He unconsciously tugged at the collar of his dress uniform, feeling as if he stuck out like a sore thumb amongst all the flair around him. His suit was very militant, clean straight lines that accented his form showing off his broad chest in colors of dark green and a gold sash that went around his waist and over his shoulder representing the Inquisition. Everyone who was here as part of the Inquisitor’s entourage wore something similar; the men in identical suits and the women in Orlesian style gowns, well except for Cassandra and Sera, they refused to be caught in the dresses so opted for the suits. Alec still marveled that they managed to get a suit to fit Iron Bull as well as it did, and Cole was constantly fidgeting in his new garments

“You shouldn’t look so nervous,” a thick Orlesian accent, that was low and sultry, said behind him. “It is a sign of weakness here in the viper pit.”

Alec turned and even he had a hard time swallowing as he took in the woman behind him. Even if she was Orlesian, she didn’t wear the typical garb that bounced around them. The top of her dress was an off the shoulder cobalt blue casual bell sleeved cotton blouse with an underbust black corset, showing off the smattering of freckles across her cleavage and shoulders on tanned skin. Her full length skirt matched the blouse, falling just above her ankles and featured several slits to allow for a wider range of movement causing her legs to poke through when she walked. It was very much a dress of function, looking as if she could immediately jump on a horse and ride off at a moment’s notice, but was still a thing of style and beauty.

Her flame red hair was done up in dozens of small braids that ran along her scalp and down to her shoulders, each braid ending in a small glass bead. The top of her face was covered by an exquisite mask that looked like the face of a stag including short antlers, crafted from painted glass. The only features of her face that he could make out were her supple mouth that was quirked in a smirk, freckles just under her mask and deep blue eyes.

Alec finally found his voice. “I have to admit, it’s my first time venturing in these waters.” He smiled charmingly. “Any advice… my lady?”

The woman chuckled and came closer allowing him to smell pine and smoke. “If you had been anyone else, Inquisitor Trevelyan, I would say to be like a shark and just stay below the water. But, you already have drawn the attention of everyone here.”

He looked around at all the faces that were turned their way. “It seems to me that you have garnered just as much attention as I have.”

Her eyes scanned the crowd. “Not surprising. I haven’t been to an event this spectacular… well, ever. No one wanted to deal with the descendant of _Shame_.”

Alec frowned in confusion. “I’m sorry?”

She smiled. “It matters not.” She gave a small curtsy. “It was a pleasure, Inquisitor Trevelyan. I will no doubt see you again before the night is done.” She turned and headed to the entrance of the palace.

“I don’t believe I caught your name.” He called.

“That is because I didn’t throw it.” She said lightly never breaking her stride and vanished into the crowd.

Alec continued to stare her direction in confusion.

“What did Marquis Miranda say?” Another new Orlesian voice said, but this one he recognized.

He turned to Leliana. Like the rest of the Inquisition present, she opted to not don a mask. “Who?”

She nodded in the direction of the palace. “Marquis Miranda de Serault. That’s who you were speaking with, no?”

He shrugged. “She never gave a name.”

Leliana chuckled. “Yes, that does sound like the Marquis. At least from everything I have heard about her. She definitely lives up to her reputation if her garb was any indication.”

“You’ve never met her? How did you know it was her?”

She nodded for them to start walking. “Her mask. You noticed how it was made of painted glass? Very unique and a symbol of Serault and the de Serault family, nicknamed the House of Glass. The motto of Serault is ‘Payment in Glass’. It is there that the most prestigious Glassworks are, and all around Thedas people clamor to get some sort of glassware, primarily the mirrors.

“Marquis Miranda was raised to rule. Trained in bow, sword and steed; valiant, charismatic and skilled in the hunt. She cares little for books or schemes. And as the descendant of _Shame_ , probably has as many tongues wagging as you, Inquisitor.”

Alec looked at her. “I don’t understand that. Descendant of _Shame_? What does that mean?”

Leliana raised her eyebrows. “You never heard of the _Shame of Serault_?”

Alec shook his head.

“He was Miranda’s great grandfather, the former Marquis of Serault, and an apostate mage, who later became an abomination. He was described as brilliant, murderous, generous, romantic and ruthless, but eventually he brought shame to the marquisate. His name is now forgotten; he is known only as the _Shame of Serault._ The family was even stripped of their ancestral mask, the symbol of nobility in Orlais by Divine Beatrix III and held in trust by the Chantry and the Chantry chapel closed.

“It wasn’t until just before the Conclave that Divine Justinia had traveled to Serault to assess whether or not Serault had recovered from the humiliation the _Shame_ wrought. Miranda had impressed Justinia. And so her family’s ancestral mask was returned and the Chantry reopened.” Leliana smiled. “And it seems Celene decided to finally invite her to a major event.”

“Quite the family history.” Alec said in amazement. “Speaking of Serault… have you seen Rayne?”

She shook her head. “Not yet. But perhaps she is already inside. Most of us have already gone inside. I pulled a few back to be announced with you.”

“Who?”

“Blackwall, I thought having such a prestigious Warden backing you would be beneficial. Cassandra, being one of the Pentaghasts. And Dorian.” She turned and smiled. “I thought you would like him at your side.”

Alec smiled gratefully. “Thank you. But I am surprised you didn’t choose Vivienne, seeing as she was Court Enchanter.”

Leliana scoffed. “’Was’ being the most notable word. As much as Vivienne likes to deny it, she did not take it lightly when Celene brought in her new advisor.” She stopped walking and turned to him. “Which is what I want to discuss with you beforehand.”

Alec turned to her and placed his hands behind his back waiting.

“Empress Celene is fascinated by mysticism – foreseeing the future, speaking with the dead, that sort of rubbish. She has an ‘occult advisor.’ An apostate who charmed the Empress and key members of the court as if by magic.”

He frowned.

“I’ve had dealings with her in the past. She is ruthless and capable of anything.” She pursed her lips together as if she wanted to say something more but thought against it.

“How can Celene openly keep an apostate in the Imperial Court?” He asked.

“The Imperial Court has always had an official position for a mage. Before now, it was little more than court jester. Vivienne was the first to turn that appointment into a source of real political power. When the Circles rebelled, technically every mage became an apostate. The word lost much of its strength.”

“That sounds exactly like the person we’re looking for.”

Leliana nodded in agreement. “She’s worth investigating. Can’t be sure of anything here. Both leads point toward the Guest Wing. It’s a promising start.” She began moving to the door again. “I’ll coordinate with our spies to see if I can find anything better.”

Alec watched her go before taking a deep breath and following. He found Blackwall, Dorian, Cassandra, Cullen, Josephine and Leliana all waiting for him. He noted how Cullen’s eyes continued to scan the crowds, no doubt looking for threats, but also no doubt looking for signs of Rayne.

Upon seeing him, a scribe rushed forward and bowed. “You are to be announced next, Lord Trevelyan. Followed by Marquis Miranda de Serault.”

“The Marquis arrived before I did, shouldn’t she be announced next?”

“Oh, please, Inquisitor,” Miranda said from a short distance away hearing him. “I do not mind you going first. Besides, it is in order of prestige here, not order of arrival.”

Alec gave her a lopsided smile and nodded. He turned to the others, “ready?”

Cassandra sighed. “No. But let’s get this over with.”

“Now presenting!” A voice boomed ahead of them. “Grand Duke Gaspard de Chalons. And accompanying him…”

Josephine pushed him through the doors and the rest followed behind.

“Lord Inquisitor Trevelyan, of the Ostwick Circle of Magi!”

Alec walked down the short flight of stairs following Gaspard trying to ignore the dozens of eyes that swiveled his direction. Down the ballroom, up on a balcony looking down was Empress Celene in a blue, black and silver off the shoulder gown and a silver mask covering the top of her face, and her pale blonde hair pulled back. He bowed to her and she returned with a half bow of respect.

“Vanquisher of the rebel mages of Ferelden,” the scribe continued. “Crusher of the vile apostates of the mage underground!”

“He is so full of it!” He heard Sera’s voice in a very bad whisper somewhere in the crowd. He fought to control the smile that wanted to come to his face from her outburst. “That’s not how it went.”

“Champion of the Blessed Andraste herself!” The scribe continued unperturbed.

“Did you see their faces?” Gaspard whispered and chuckled. “Priceless.” He slowly made his way down the ballroom, approaching Celene.

“Accompanying the Inquisitor: Warden Blackwall of Val Chevin, Constable of the Grey. Bearer of the Silverite Wings of Valor.”

**Silverite Wings of Valor?** Alec thought to himself. Blackwall never mentioned that before.

“Seeker Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filmena—“

“Get on with it!” Cassandra snapped in annoyance.

“…Pentaghast. Fourteenth cousin to the King of Nevarra, nine times removed. Hero of Orlais, Right Hand of the Divine. Lord Dorian Pavus, member of the Circle of Vyrantium, son of Lord Magister Halward Pavus of Asariel.” The scribe took a deep breath. “Ser Cullen Stanton Rutherford of Honnleath. Commander of the Forces of the Inquisition. Former Knight-Commander of Kirkwall.”

Alec raised an eyebrow at Cullen who was rolling his eyes. **Cullen Stanton Rutherford?** He couldn’t help but think in delight.

“Lady Leliana, Nightingale of the Imperial Court. Veteran of the Fifth Blight. Seneschal of the Inquisition and Left Hand of the Divine.” **Final stretch.** Alec thought in amusement as the scribe was finishing. “And Lady Josephine Cherette Montilyet of Antiva City. Ambassador of the Inquisition.”

With that, Alec, Cullen, Leliana and Josephine walked down the ballroom to greet Empress Celene. The others stayed back waiting.

Alec joined Gaspard closest to the balcony.

Gaspard nodded to Celene as a new figured joined her. “Cousin. My dear sister.” He said as greeting.

**Sister?**

Celene smiled pleasantly, but Alec had no doubt it was forced. “Grand Duke. We are always honored when your presence graces our court.” She greeted him with the royal ‘we’ and ‘our’.

Gaspard waved a hand dismissively. “Don’t waste my time with pleasantries, Celene. We have business to conclude.”

Alec saw the barest hint of Celene’s smile twitch, but her tone remained diplomatic. “We will meet for the negotiations after we have seen to our other guests.”

The Grand Duke nodded and bowed low in a flourish, so much so it neared mockery. He turned his head to Alec and nodded. “Inquisitor.” He said softly and turned to leave Alec alone.

Celene’s blue eyes fell on him. “Lord Inquisitor, we welcome you to the Winter Palace.” She turned to the woman at her side. “Allow us to present our cousin, The Grand Duchess of Lydes, without whom this gathering would never have been possible.”

The Grand Duchess stepped forward and bowed to him. She wore a cream and black colored gown with a plunging neckline and a similar silver mask to Gaspard, no doubt representations of their house. Her pale blonde hair that matched Celene’s was cut shot and shaved on the sides.

“What an unexpected pleasure.” Florianne said pleasantly enough. “I was not aware the Inquisition would be part of our festivities.” She turned away from him. “We will certainly speak later, Inquisitor.”

Alec smiled and nodded, feeling like his skin was crawling for some reason. But he managed to keep his composure as he turned his attention back to Celene.

“Your arrival at court is like a cool wind on a summer’s day.” She said.

Alec bowed his head. “I am delighted to be here, Your Majesty.”

Celene’s eyes sparkled in delight. “We have heard much of your exploits, Inquisitor. They have made grand tales for long evenings. How do you find Halamshiral?”

“I have no words to suffice. Halamshiral has many beauties, and I couldn’t do them justice.”

“Your modesty does you credit, and speaks well for the Inquisition. Feel free to enjoy the pleasures of the ballroom, Inquisitor.”

Alec released his pent of breath and smiled.

“We look forward to watching you dance.”

He contained a groan. He prayed that he wouldn’t have to go through that nightmare. That no one would want to dance with him. But when his eyes looked around he saw far too many interested female faces. He tried to smile at Celene and bowed low. He followed the way Gaspard had gone as the scribe began announcing Miranda, but he didn’t hear anything he said since Leliana intercepted him.

“I still have not seen Rayne.” She whispered. “And no one has been announced as the Hero of Ferelden.”

“Could she have snuck in?”

Leliana shook her head. “Too much security, even for her.”

Alec chewed on the inside of his cheek. “Would she have them announce her as the Hero of Ferelden? We all know she hates that title.”

“Perhaps. But Celene is meticulous. She would have made note of Rayne and made sure she was announced appropriately. But no one has been seen with Rayne’s description.”

“Perhaps she is just late?” He offered. But even he knew that was unlikely. Even with the distance to Serault and back to Halamshiral, she would have beaten them here if anything else. “Something happened to her.” He said softly.

“We don’t know that for sure.” Leliana said, tried to reassure him. But he could hear the doubt lacing her words. She looked around. “Try to keep the doubt away from Cullen. Last thing I want is for him to grow worried.”

Alec followed her gaze and found Cullen already being swarmed by a crowd of not only young women, but men as well. “Well, hopefully Rayne shows up soon to save him.” He tried to sound optimistic.

Leliana smiled and looked around. “Ah, the start of my evening.” She nodded to Alec. “Be careful, Inquisitor.”

“And you.”

She chuckled and went off to speak with a man who greeted her with a grin on his face.

“She’s more in her element here than she is anywhere else.”

Alec jumped and turned to find Miranda. “Do you do that often?”

She tilted her head. “Do what?”

“Sneak up on people.”

“My apologies, Inquisitor.” She said lightly. “I’ve grown up to stalk prey, and here is no different. Just a different variety of pretty birds.”

Alec laughed. “Probably.” He nodded in Leliana’s direction. “You know much of Sister Leliana?”

Miranda’s smile was playful and seemed to hold great secrets. “She has quite the reputation.”

“That she does.” He turned his gaze away from her and looked around.

“Do I bore you, Inquisitor?” She asked, not sounding offended, only amused.

Alec flushed as he looked back at her. “No! I mean, of course not, I’m just…” He took a deep breath. “Forgive me. I am very much out of my element here and I’m looking for a friend.”

“A friend or a _friend?”_ She teased lightly.

He relaxed. “Just a friend.” He paused a moment. “In fact, she traveled to Serault recently.”

Miranda’s eyes brightened in amusement as if there was a joke that only she was privy to. “Oh? For any particular reason?”

“Knowing Rayne, no doubt.” He sighed. “She just didn’t deign to share it with the rest of us.”

She chuckled. “Something she is no doubt notorious for.” She swooped around him until she was right in front of him and looking deeply into his eyes. “Perhaps what you are looking for is right under your nose.”

Alec frowned. “What do you…” He sucked in his breath as he watched her eyes change from deep blue and brighten into familiar bright ones. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped.

She placed a finger to her lips as her eyes changed back. “Will you join me on the balcony, Inquisitor? It is such a lovely evening.”

He finally found his voice after clearing his throat. “I would be delighted to, Marquis.” He offered his arm and she delicately wrapped her hand around his bicep as he led her out to an empty balcony.

She went to the railing and leaned against it, looking at him almost seductively, a mischievous smile on her face.

“Rayne?” He asked hesitantly.

“You know, it’s still amusing that you can still be surprised by the things I can turn into.” Her voice changing as she spoke back to the voice he knew.

“Dragons and wolves are one thing,” he said softly. “But people? I didn’t know mages could do that.”

“Most don’t see the point in it. In truth, most of this is a cosmetic glamour. One of the perks of being able to use a mask, it helps hide certain facial features to avoid having to move bone.” She chuckled. “The hair was the most taxing, I actually had to magically grow the hair, but the color is a glamour.”

Alec shook his head. “You’re not worried that the real Marquis will show up?”

Rayne smirked. “Really? You haven’t figured out _why_ I went to Serault yet?”

He thought a few moments and then rolled his eyes. “You went seeking her permission.”

“Ah, see. Got that brain in there working now.” She teased.

“Funny.” He said dryly. “So, stupid question: why?”

“What better way to be one of the eyes and ears for the Inquisition than by looking like someone who is not actually part of the Inquisition? And plus, this allows me to avoid the headache of coming here as the Hero of Ferelden.” She said wryly.

Alec chuckled and looked back into the ballroom. “Well, unfortunately you have now gained the attention by coming here as the descendant of _Shame._ ”

“And no doubt coming out here alone with the Inquisitor.”

He turned back to her and smirked.

“Oh, come now, you haven’t noticed how closely they’re watching? Especially the group of young maidens right there.” Rayne took a small step towards him and leaned close. “And now…” She gave a mock gasp. “Just look how quickly they start clucking, now doubt thinking the Herald of Andraste and the Descendant of Shame are flirting. Perhaps even planning a later tryst?”

He leaned in closer. “But what if they know that I prefer the company of men? What would they be talking about then?”

Rayne chuckled lightly and tossed her head in a flirtatious manner. “My dear Inquisitor, your escapades at Skyhold are merely rumor at best. But us, here, now, is something they are seeing with their own eyes. Which would you be more likely to believe and talk about?”

He hummed in thought. “Well, I should probably back away or lest we make Dorian jealous.”

She leaned in closer, their faces so close together he could feel the warmth of her breath and smell the mint. “Oh, but this is so much fun.”

Alec chuckled. “It is. You’re not worried of smearing the Marquis’ good name?”

She snorted. “Please, Miranda will be ecstatic. The terms for allowing me to wear her face were that I be as scandalous as possible. She does so like her scandals. It’s one of her few forms of entertainment. You should hear about her and the bard that she keeps at court for her… amusement.”

“Now that sounds interesting.”

“Inquisitor.” A voice cut in.

Alec looked up with a smile on his face and then he went ramrod straight and taking a step back from Rayne. “Commander.”

Cullen looked back and forth between him and Rayne in confusion. He bowed his head to Rayne. “Marquis de Serault, a pleasure to meet you.”

“Trust me, Commander,” her voice now back to her Orlesian accent. “The pleasure is all mine.” Her eyes went back and forth between Cullen and Alec. “My, my. How does anyone get anything done for the Inquisition when handsome men like yourselves no doubt distract them from their duties?”

Cullen chuckled. “Because their fear of my ire overpowers their desire to stare.”

Rayne laughed. “I don’t doubt it.” She took a step towards Cullen and tilted her head. “Are you married, Commander?”

Alec watched in amusement as Cullen fidgeted under her gaze.

Cullen cleared his throat. “Not yet.” He said pleasantly. “But I am… already taken.”

Rayne placed a hand on his arm. “So, still single, then?”

Alec had to contain his laughter as Cullen took a deep breath before placing a hand on top of Rayne’s and gently removing it trying to remain pleasant. But Alec could tell that his Commander was already growing weary of advancements and the night had barely begun.

“As I said, Marquis, I belong to another.”

Rayne moved even closer to Cullen, shamelessly pressing her body against his. “Well, I do so hope she knows of that tender spot at the base of your throat, just below your Adams apple that when it’s licked…”

Cullen’s cheeks flamed and he grabbed her wrist. “How do you…” He growled and then blinked a few times and he groaned. “Of course. I should have known you wouldn’t come here as yourself.”

She smiled. “Very good, _vhenan._ ”

He rolled his eyes and released her. “It wasn’t hard to figure out. Only one person knows about…” He paused and looked over at Alec. “That.”

Alec chuckled. “Well, now that I’m no longer worrying about that something may have happened to you. I have a guest wing to try and break into.” He took Rayne’s hand and kissed the top. “Marquis.”


	67. Amell

Rayne smirked and waited until Alec left them to find entrance into the guest wing. She turned back to Cullen who was watching her closely. “So, do I need to go over why I’m here like this?” She said softly in her normal voice.

He raised an eyebrow. “Other than wanting to avoid undue attention as the Savior of Ferelden?” He asked sarcastically. “Easier to blend in and gather information.”

She smiled. “Very good.”

He tilted his head. “Unfortunately I have no excuse to steal away with the Marquis.”

She stepped closer and placed the palm of her hand on his chest and tilted her head ever so slightly to look at him adoringly, causing Cullen to give her his teasing smirk that she loved so much. “Just imagine the scandal of the Commander of the Inquisition and the Marquis de Serault slipping away together. Spending most the night together.”

He shook his head in amusement and placed a hand over hers. “As much as that is tempting, there is only one woman I want to be associated with that way.” He brought a hand to her hair and lifted a few of the braids. “I never would have pictured you with red hair or,” his eyes went down to her cleavage. “Freckled.”

Rayne chuckled softly. “You know, if you want to avoid people thinking you’re interested in me, you should probably stop holding onto me like you are and bring your eyes back to mine.”

Cullen brought his eyes back to hers and smiled. He backed away still holding her hand. “I should go back to my post. Leliana is no doubt wondering what happened to me. I assume she knows?”

She shook her head. “Not yet. Will you inform her for me?”

He nodded. “Of course.” He brought her hand up to his lips allowing his breath to caress her skin causing a shiver to go up her spine. A seductive smirk came to his face before he flipped over her hand and kissed the palm. “Be careful,” he whispered. “Even in that guise your eyes are turning slightly green.”

“If you weren't so damned irresistible…” She breathed.

He chuckled and stood straight. “A pleasure, Marquis.” With one final smile he turned and left.

Rayne let out a sigh of exasperation trying to release the tension in her belly. It was going to be a long night.

Straightening herself out, she went back into the ballroom. She felt the stare of quite a few eyes on her, but ignored them. She could only imagine what those who had seen her with Cullen and Alec were spreading already. Miranda will be pleased. She moved gracefully through the crowds of people, an elven servant offered her a glass of spirits, which she gratefully accepted.

Rayne stood near the doorway leading to the Hall of Heroes, filled with statues and plaques of varying emperors and other figures of import from Orlesian history.

She sipped her wine as she listened closely to gossip around her. From what she could gather no one knew of anything truly important, but gathered tidbits of rumors and scandals that no doubt Leliana could put to use.

“Marquis Miranda.” A voice interrupted her spying.

She turned to find Grand Duke Gaspard behind her. Gaspard de Chalons was an elderly man, close to seventy summers old, but one would never have thought so with the way he carried himself. He still had the bearing of a young man and was very much a military man. Stubble covered his head and cheeks that said he wasn’t naturally bald, but instead shaved away his hair and for the event he didn’t wear his signature _chevalier_ helm that Rayne had heard he wore nearly constantly when among the public. No doubt as a way to come off as less hostile during the peace talks.

“Grand Duke.” She curtsied. “A pleasure to finally meet you.”

He nodded as he placed his hands behind his back. “And you as well, Marquis. I have heard much about you.”

She chuckled. “I’m sure you have heard more about my family’s history than about me.”

A small smirk tugged at Gaspard’s lips. “What are we if not our family’s history?”

“Very true.” She said lightly as she took another sip of her wine, watching as Gaspard came closer.

“But I have indeed heard much about you, for instance your love of the hunt.”

“Indeed.” She nodded to the people around them. “This… frivolity is not something I enjoy.” She smiled coyly at him. “But I would be a fool to miss an opportunity to meet so many… interesting people.”

He chuckled. “I consider myself lucky that you decided to come then. I have been eager to meet you for quite some time. But with the current situation it was made more difficult.”

“The current situation? Oh, you mean the war you began with our Empress?” She said innocently as she took another sip.

Gaspard laughed outright.

Rayne knew how to play Gaspard. He was a man that appreciated candor and detested The Game that surrounded Orlesian politics but realized it was part of their society so had learned how to play it and play it well. She also knew, from her visit to Serault, that Gaspard had a keen interest in Miranda since his wife had died and Celene denied his marriage proposal to end the war.

“You do not fail to disappoint, my lady.” He said with mirth in his voice.

“Gaspard…”

They turned to their new guest.

Celene approached and smiled pleasantly at Rayne. “Marquis, I am so glad you were able to make the trip to Halamshiral. I was worried you would not be able to with the roads as hazardous as they are.”

Rayne smiled and bowed. “Your Majesty, I would not have missed this, even if I had to dispose of every vagabond on the road to reach the Winter Palace.”

“Knowing your reputation, you no doubt would have been any equal for the bandits.” Celene said lightly. She turned to her cousin. “Briala has arrived. We should begin.”

Gaspard nodded and bowed to Rayne. “Perhaps we can speak again, Marquis, at a later time.”

“I look forward to it, Grand Duke.” She bowed again to Celene. “I pray that you all will come to a peaceful solution.”

They nodded and returned to the room where they were holding their peace talks. The smile that had threatened to crack Rayne’s face fell as soon as they entered the room. She spun into the Hall of Heroes finding no other reason to remain in the ballroom.

As she passed through she saw Blackwall below looking very uncomfortable as an Orlesian noble, who looked very drunk, spoke with him. But the Warden was ever vigilant and caught sight of her as she passed. She nodded to him and smiled in encouragement.

She entered the next corridor that was filled with more nobles. But she caught sight of Solas standing by himself, simply watching everyone one around him with an almost predatory glint in his eye, like a wolf on the hunt. His eyes fell on her and he tilted his head and frowned in a look of confusion.

Her eyes continued to look around until she saw Bull who seemed to be eating something with a smile of delight on his face. Rayne shook her head in amusement seeing him in a tailored suit, she never thought she would see the day that she would see any Qunari in something that like.

Finding nothing of interest, she continued to the Guest Gardens. If it wasn’t for the small groups of nobles Rayne would have like being there. It wasn’t a huge garden by any means, small enough to host a get together of friends. Luscious green grass with spots of colorful flowers covered the ground, a path of white stones led to a fountain at the far end of the garden where she could hear gurgling water. White lattice on the stone wall on both sides.

Standing beside the fountain was Dorian and Alec. The Tevinter mage seemed to have already knocked back a few glasses of wine.

Seeing Rayne, Alec motioned for her to join them.

Dorian eyed her up and down as he finished off his current glass of wine. “You should think about becoming a redhead permanently. Matches your fiery personality.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I’ll pass.”

He shrugged and turned to Alec. “I’m sure our dear Inquisitor thinks you should keep the look. At least according to the whispers I have been hearing.”

Alec rolled his eyes. “Yes, it took her changing her hair color—“

“And gaining freckles.” Dorian added cheerily.

“And freckles, for me to want to bed her. Because she wasn’t a beauty before.” Alec finished dryly.

“Freckles are very cute, _Amatus.”_

Rayne shook her head and turned to Alec. “Any luck getting into the guest quarters?”

He frowned. “Only one way short of breaking down doors.”

“And that is?”

He nodded towards the fountain. “Scaling a wall. And as you can see, the area isn’t exactly empty.”

Rayne tilted her head in thought. “Think you can scale it quickly?”

“Sure. But I will still be noticed.”

She grinned. “Not if you have a very convenient distraction.”

He raised an eyebrow.

She smiled at Dorian. “How about it, _Lord_ Pavus? Care to help?”

A glint of excitement came to his eyes as he placed his empty glass on a passing tray and picked up another. “Be still my heart. Any ideas?”

“I seem to be making my way through the men of the Inquisition, you’ll be my next victim.”

Dorian placed a hand over his heart. “My dear, you know exactly the right things to say.”

She turned to Alec. “We’ll give you a distraction. Climb the wall, and try not to be gone long. The longer you’re gone the more likely your absence will be noted.”

He nodded. “What’s the signal?”

She smirked and pulled on Dorian’s sash leading him back into the corridor. “Don’t worry. You’ll know it when you see it.” Once they were away from Alec she spoke again in a hushed whisper. “How many of those have you had?”

Dorian chuckled. “Worried about me? That’s sweet.”

“More like I’m worried you won’t be of any use to us when the time comes because you’re drunk.” She paused briefly in the corridor until she found what she was looking for. She led him through the throngs of people, skirting around a baffled Bull.

“Oh, don’t worry, it will take a lot more than this to get me truly drunk. Where are we going?”

“Some place where we can have some privacy, only to be ‘accidently’ caught.”

“Going to finally take advantage of me?” He teased. “Steal my virtue?”

She snorted. “What virtue?”

“You wound me.” He said loud enough to catch the attention of a group of nobles nearby.

She came to a door and tested the knob, she smiled as it easily turned and opened the door leading into a darkened room. Rayne turned back to Dorian and grabbed his shirt to pull him closer to her face, his breath sweet from the wine. “No, but I’m about to.” She teased.

She quickly brought her lips to his; she took pleasure in catching him completely by surprise before pulling him back into the dark room.


	68. Trevelyan

Alec moved slowly to the wall gauging how quickly he could climb it. Having nothing else to do, he waited for Rayne’s signal.

Minutes passed before he started noticing how people were starting to whisper more, casting brief glances at him and then back out into the corridor. Alec cast a brief thought to poor Dorian that got roped into her scheme.

He began to worry after fifteen minutes had passed and nothing had happened. He worried that their plan had failed. That was until a shriek of surprise and embarrassment came through from the corridor and Dorian’s distinct Tevinter accented voice after.

The crowds of people and the lone bard all rushed to the corridor, no doubt in the hopes of witnessing some scandal. Alec’s curiosity almost got the best of him, he made a mental note to question the pair later as to what they did… or no doubt he would hear it on the lips of the nobles later.

Not waiting another moment, he grabbed the trellis and climbed as quickly as he could. Near the top he heard the wood under his hands groan in protest and felt a subtle shift. Luckily it held as he pulled himself over the top of the wall and landed softly. He crouched and waited for any sign that he had been seen.

When he didn’t hear anything he remained low and went to the door he knew led to the guest quarters and hopefully into Celene’s advisor’s room. He opened the door only enough to slip through and then quietly shut it behind him.

He found himself in a small library. The walls were covered in books of varying subjects. Another door was to the right of where he was. Six busts of past Orlesian Emperors went up and down the middle of the room.

Alec went to the side door and frowned. He expected to find the room he had been looking for. Instead it led into a much bigger library. Having nowhere else to go he slowly made his way through the larger library. He came across a few more doors, but they were only storage rooms. In some alcoves between book cases were long tables for people to sit and read and work. And then at the end of the room standing on the balcony looking over the people below in the foyer was Cole.

“Cole?” He asked in confusion as he approached him from behind.

Cole didn’t turn around but spoke. “The faces talk even when they aren’t moving.” He said in wonder. “Silk on satin on skin, always wanting, chaste but chased. Too many.”

Alec went to his side and looked down at the people. He looked at Cole out of the corner of his eye. “Are you all right, Cole? You seem… distracted. More than usual.”

“They have faces inside their faces, lying with a layer that tells the truth. I don’t know how to help them.” His voice dropped at the end.

Alec frowned. “What are you doing, Cole?”

“A fallen fan can cut like a kiss. Hot breath from the wrong boy on the naked nape of the neck.”

He raised an eyebrow, praying that it wouldn’t get any more intimate than that.

Cole finally turned to him. “I helped until they made me stop. Now they’ve forgotten.”

Alec gave him a smile and patted him on the shoulder. “I don’t think these people want to be helped, Cole.” He chuckled. “Plus, I don’t even know where you would start with their baggage. Have you observed anything happening yet?”

Cole looked back out to the foyer. “Cullen is afraid.” He said softly.

Alec frowned in confusion.

“They’re hunting him, following fear.” Cole looked at him. “He _shouldn’t_ be here.”

“Its okay, Cole.” Alec said assuredly. “We’ll keep Cullen safe, I promise. Rayne and I both.”

“Rayne…” His voice went into his usual monotone indicating he was reading someone’s thoughts. “Beautiful as always, fiery as her spirit.”

Alec smiled. “Yes, that does sound like Cullen.” He said in amusement.

Cole shook his head. “No. Not Cullen.”

A frown came to Alec’s face. If it wasn’t Cullen, that left only one other person. He sighed and moved away from that topic. “Try to stay out of trouble, Cole.”

Cole tilted his head. “The advisor’s room. You passed it.”

“Where is it?”

Cole pointed to the small library. “Hidden. Kept safe from eyes.”

Alec grinned and hit Cole’s shoulder happily. “Thanks, Cole.”

He rushed back to the library and started searching the book cases. He knew he had to be pushing his limit on how long he had been gone. He needed to hurry. But finally, he found his prize. One of the books was actually a lever; when he pulled it the far wall slid back revealing a hidden room.

He grinned as the door stopped and went inside. The room was small, but big enough for a desk, a few book cases and a veil fire torch. He immediately went to the desk and began rifling through the papers strewn across. Most of it was magical research that he didn’t understand, but one bloodied piece caught his attention.

It was nothing he could make out, but recognized the Tevene symbols thanks to his studying with Dorian. Could this be his link that he was looking for? And why was it covered in blood?

He jumped as he heard a bell toll indicating that all guests should go to the ballroom.

Unable to find anything he could actually understand or use, with a sigh of defeat he left the room. Instead of heading to the garden to climb down the lattice he went through the library that led to the foyer.

He found Rayne standing at the bottom of the stairs, she tried to come off as easy but Alec saw the way her fingers tapped at her thigh with anxiety. “Marquis?”

She turned to him and a look of relief came to her face. “Inquisitor, you were becoming missed.”

“Forgive me, Marquis. I was just looking at all the fabulous books that they have here in the library.”

She nodded as he offered his arm to her. “Find anything interesting?”

They walked slowly to ballroom door as others filed to it. “A note in Tevene.” He whispered. “Blood stains.”

“Hmm.” She thought in contemplation. “Not a lot to go on.”

They were about to walk through the door into the ballroom when a voice came from behind them.

“Well, well, what have we here?”

Rayne went rigid beside him and he heard her breath catch.

Trying to keep composed, Alec turned back to the stair behind them

A woman came down the stairs with a sharp knowing smile on her face. Her accent was definitely Ferelden, which on its own would have been strange in this place. She had pitch black hair up in a messy bun, her bangs falling in front of her bright amber eyes that almost looked yellow. A small mole was on her left cheek above her thick lips that were painted burgundy to match her gown that was embellished with silver to match her necklace that acted as a thick choker.

Alec watched her closely as she looked at him like a predator would its prey and was keenly aware that Rayne was having a hard time trying to come off that she wasn’t affected by this woman’s presence.

“The leader of the new Inquisition, fabled Herald of the faith.” The woman continued. “Delivered from the grasp of the Fade by the hand of the Blessed Andraste herself.” She said almost snidely as she reached the floor to be eye level with him.

Alec gave her a lopsided smile and tilted his head.

“What could bring such an exalted creature here to the Imperial Court, I wonder? Do even you know?”

“We may never know.” Alec said. “Courtly intrigue and all that.”

The mage, whom he was able to discern was a mage, smiled knowingly. “Such intrigue obscure much, but not all.” She nodded to him. “I am Morrigan. Some call me advisor to Empress Celene on matters of the arcane.”

 **Advisor?** Alec thought to himself. Was that way Rayne was acting strangely, because she thought perhaps this woman was in on the assassination attempt like Leliana did? His eyes ticked over to Rayne. No, something else was wrong.

As if reading his thoughts, Rayne turned to him and bowed. “It seems another desires your attention, Inquisitor. I will see you in the ballroom later.”

Alec studied her, keeping his face calm as he took in her storming eyes. He finally nodded. “Of course. Until later, Marquis.”

She smiled at Morrigan and then went into the ballroom.


	69. Amell

She had to keep from running through the ballroom. Her fists were clenched trying to contain anger. Anger at seeing Morrigan again and anger at the person who kept it from her.

Rayne put on a pleasant smile as she came to Leliana. “Sister Nightingale?”

Leliana had been in the middle of a conversation with a noble, a smile and laugh on her lips at whatever he had said. “Marquis de Serault. I had been looking forward to meeting you all night.”

“As have I. I was actually hoping to speak with you. I have heard you’ve actually wanted to speak with me about Divine Justinia’s visit to Serault. Perhaps we could…”

Leliana looked at her curiously. Finally she nodded and said a few words to the noble before she followed Rayne.

They passed by Cullen whose gaze followed them in puzzlement. She led the bard out onto a secluded outside balcony and mumbled a few words of power under her breath before closing the balcony doors.

Leliana turned to her. “Rayne, what is goin—“

She whirled on Leliana pressed her against the wall, her arm pressed against her throat. “You knew.” She hissed.

“Wha…” Leliana choked out.

“You knew _she_ was here.” She tried to keep her tone down; she didn’t want to risk her spell breaking in her current emotional state.

The realization of what Rayne was talking about came to Leliana’s eyes.

“What in Andraste’s name are you doing?”

Rayne turned her head to Cullen as he slipped onto the balcony.

She turned her attention back to Leliana. “Asking our Spymaster why she didn’t inform me who Celene’s arcane advisor was.”

“You have to beat it out of her?” Cullen hissed.

“It’s making me feel better.”

“Why does it matter _who_ her advisor is?”

“I didn’t think it was important.” Leliana finally said.

“You… didn’t think it was important that I know that Celene’s advisor was Morrigan? After _everything_ that happened?”

“Morrigan?” Cullen asked in confusion. “Why does that name sound familiar?”

“Rayne…” Leliana gasped. “Let… me… go.”

She curled her lip but then finally released her hold. “Stop lying Leliana.” She growled. “If you truly didn’t think it would matter whether Morrigan was here or not you would have told me. Instead you purposely kept it from me.”

Leliana rubbed her throat.

“Wait…” Cullen said scrunching his face in thought. “Morrigan was the swamp witch that traveled with you during the Blight, yes?”

Rayne began pacing in front of them, seeing Morrigan again was far too similar to how she had first met the witch. Right down to the first words she had spoken, to the way she descended from high, to the arrogant smile of satisfaction.

“I didn’t realize you would take it this badly.” Leliana finally said.

Rayne swung around on her, causing Leliana to flinch. “How did you _think_ I was going to take it? Especially after what happened.” She said through clenched teeth.

“All any of us knew was that Morrigan left, you never told us why.” Leliana snapped.

Rayne diverted her gaze. “I denied her something she wanted. She grew angry, attacked me and I nearly killed her.” She brought her eyes back to the rogue. “And I promised her if I ever saw her again, I would finish the job.” She looked at Cullen. “And I did see her again, before I went to Kirkwall permanently. And I thought I _had_ killed her. Apparently she has her mother’s penchant for avoiding death.”

Leliana looked at her with shock.

Rayne clenched and unclenched her jaw. “I’m leaving. I’ll be back at Skyhold.”

“Rayne—“ Leliana started.

“No.” She snapped. “As much as Miranda wants a good scandal, something tells me she doesn’t want to be pinned as an apostate and murderer. And if I stay here, that’s what will happen.”

Rayne went for the door and Cullen reached out to stop her. “Rayne, wait…”

With a flick of her wrist she pushed him back against the railing of the balcony and slipped out the door.


	70. Cullen

He grunted as he was pressed against the railing. Not enough to hurt him, but enough to keep him back as she made her escape back into the ballroom and heading to the exit of the Winter Palace.

“Cullen, stop her.” Leliana hissed.

“What can I do?” He asked in annoyance. “She’s made up her mind.”

She pressed her nose practically to his, even with their height difference. “She is needed here. You can convince her if anyone can.”

Cullen groaned and followed after Rayne.

It didn’t take him long to pick out her flame red hair in the crowd. And he was lucky enough that she hadn’t gotten far due to the crowds gathering around to watch people dance.

“Marquis Miranda.” He said and gently grabbed her arm.

He heard her sigh in annoyance and she turned. “Commander Cullen.”

Cullen gave her one of his most charming smiles. “I was hoping you would honor me with a dance.” He offered her his hand.

Rayne raised an eyebrow. She knew that he had been turning down every offer he received that night, and he had received _a lot_. As well as one very bold touch to his bottom… but a man no less.

He heard the whispering around them from those that had been vying for his attention. It was a low thing to do to Rayne, he was pulling the same stunt that Alistair had at the Landsmeet. Put her in a position where she couldn’t say no lest she damage his and potentially the Inquisition’s reputation. What would that say when Commander of the Inquisition, who had been the main attraction for many of the nobles at the ball, who turned down every other noble’s offer, but when he personally asked the Marquis de Serault she refused him?

And the way her eyes glinted in suppressed annoyance and anger, and the way her eyes traveled to the crowds of people around them, she knew that too. She finally smiled and took his hand. “Of course. How could I possibly refuse?”

Cullen led her to the nearest set of stairs leading to dance floor, all the while contemplating how he was going to be punished for this later. As much as he was nervous about that, another part of him was aroused at the prospect.

They came to the dance floor just as one song ended and the orchestra was preparing for the next.

Cullen twirled her around until she was facing him. Keeping a respectful distance from her – no matter how his body protested at that – he placed a hand on her hip as she laid her hand on his shoulder. He was acutely aware of all the eyes staring down at them. He tried pushing out all other thoughts and focused on Rayne, and how – he thought with amusement – this was their first dance ever.

The band began their song and he began to lead her in the dance.

“You know, I’m going to kill you later for this.” Rayne said softly. Loud enough for only him to hear, but with the music no one else could.

“I kind of figured as much. You can’t leave, Rayne.”

She frowned. “Can’t I? Watch me.” She hissed.

He took a deep breath. “Poor choice of words. You’re needed here. The Inquisitor needs you here.”

Cullen spun her until her back was to him and he placed his hand back on her hip.

“He will be fine with the rest of you.” She said over her shoulder.

He frowned and spun her again to his side and pulled her body to his causing her breath to catch. His hand that had hers was now wrapped around her body as it molded to his and her hand wrapped up his chest and around his neck to nestle her hand behind his head. The intimate embrace made it so they had to stare deeply into one another’s eyes.

“And what about me?” He said softly as they slowly spun around each other. “You would leave me alone?” He gave her a playful smirk in order to take the edge off his words. “You would leave me alone with these people?”

Rayne sighed; her warm mint breath that was tinged with the smell of wine caressed his nose and lips. He had to resist the urge to kiss her. “Cullen, if I stay here… here with Morrigan, I may very well try to kill her again.”

“Why did you try to kill her in the first place?”

“I told you, I denied her something she desperately wanted.”

“That was the first time,” he kept his voice calm, but he was growing annoyed that she was obviously keeping something from him. “But the next time, when you thought you _had_ actually killed her.”

Rayne’s jaw clenched before she answered. “She was coming after something precious to me.” She whispered.

Cullen curled his lip as he spun her around of their embrace and pulled her back. He was supposed to go back into their first position, but he pulled her to his body and leaned his face close to hers. Highly inappropriate and that situation was punctuated by the gasps of shock above them at his boldness.

“Stop lying to me, Rayne” He said through clenched teeth.

She frowned. “I’m not.”

He brought his face even closer, almost as if he was going to kiss her. “Telling me half-truths is the same as lying.” He growled.

“Cullen…” Her voice was low and her eyes glittered in… anticipation?

**She’s getting aroused by this.** He thought. He tucked away that information for a later time. “You promised me no more lies.”

“Unless it was Warden business.” She said backing away and setting them up to continue their dance.

“You’re telling me that this thing with Morrigan is Warden business?” He asked disbelieving.

“In a way…” She mumbled.

He sighed and moved through the dance again.

Rayne was quiet. “Cullen, I’ll tell you about it. But here is not the place.”

He thought on that and then finally nodded. “All right.” He paused. “Rayne, I’m asking you. Please stay.”

She sighed heavily and tilted her head. “I thought you didn’t know how to dance?”

He blushed. “I, uh, well… I didn’t.”

She eyed him up and down. “Really? Well, you do a bang up job for someone who doesn’t know how to dance. So much so that you’re making all the other noblewoman green with envy that I’m the one dancing with you.”

“I didn’t know how to dance until a few weeks ago.” He explained. “When… we became an item I asked Josephine to teach me how to dance for this event. She was more than thrilled, and Leliana helped.”

A slow smile crept onto Rayne’s face. “You learned how to dance… so you could dance with me… here?”

He diverted his gaze and cleared his throat.

She chuckled lightly. “Well, I’m glad you did. Perhaps we can do it again when I have my own face. And we can be a bit more… friendly.”

He smiled. “I would like that.” His eyes drifted down to her dress and freckled cleavage. “As long as I get you in a dress again.”

The song was winding down

She smiled. “We’ll see.”

They coasted to a stop and stared at one another a few moments before he bowed his head and led her off the dance floor.

“Just avoid Celene and you’ll avoid Morrigan.” He said softly as they went up the stairs. He held her hand to his bicep. “Should be easy enough for you.”

“I guess we’ll see.” She said lightly and went in front of him. She brought her face to his and lightly brushed her lips to his cheek. “Thank you, Commander.” Her voice back to the Orlesian accent.

“The pleasure was all mine, Marquis.”

She gave him a wicked smile and turned away. Her hand teasingly brushed near his groin.

Cullen suppressed the groan that wanted to escape his throat. He licked the scar at his lip as he watched her walk away. His hand clenched and un-clenched as he tried to rein back his desires. He watched her hips sway, practically begging him to take her.

He growled low in his throat, garnering the looks from at least one man nearby that looked at him curiously. Not able to contain himself, he rushed after her.

She managed to get to the Hall of Heroes before he caught her.

Rayne turned and looked at him in confusion. “Commander?”

Cullen went to the door on the left of the room, Alec had gotten Sera to pick the lock and it led into the trophy room that no one was allowed in. He went inside and pulled Rayne in with him, closing the door quietly behind them.

“Cullen, what is…”

 His lips crushed hers in a bruising kiss. He pushed her back against the wall, sliding his hands to her hips.

Rayne moaned into his mouth as she snaked a hand around him and into his hair, he felt her fingers lace through his hair and gently tug it. The feeling caused a low moan to escape him. He couldn’t contain himself anymore. His hands went to her skirt and began pulling the fabric up. He finally released her lips and trailed kisses down her neck to her exposed cleavage.

“Cullen,” she breathed. He could feel her heartbeat quicken under his mouth. “Aren’t we supposed to be keeping watch for assassins?” She said lightly as one of his hands snaked up her now exposed thigh.

“There are plenty of eyes out there for a short time.” He murmured against her skin, brushing his teeth against flesh.

“Someone is going to hear us.”

A grin came to his face as his hand finally found her smallclothes, his fingers slipped underneath. “Guess you’ll just have to be really quiet.”

Rayne arched her back to press closer to him. “When have you ever known me to be quiet?”

He chuckled and felt her skin pebble under his breath. “Well, you said the Marquis wanted a scandal. What better scandal than being caught having sex with the Commander of the Inquisition’s military forces?” His fingers gripped her smalls.

He felt her breathing quicken. “Thought you didn’t want people associating you with the Marquis?”

Cullen brought his face back up to hers. “To the Void with them. Stop talking.” He growled and smothered her mouth before she could utter another syllable. His grip tightened on her smalls and he ripped them effortlessly away, the ruined cloth falling to the floor.

Rayne’s hands went to his belt and started tugging it off. Without the belt his cloth pants easily fell to his knees.

He growled in frustration as he was still confined by his own smalls. He pulled away far enough to pull them down and immediately going back to her, his shaft pressed to her thigh. Cullen lifted her and pinned her against the wall hooking her legs over his arms.

“I’ve been waiting a week to do this again.” His face went to her cleavage and he buried his nose into the valley between her breasts. He nuzzled her hot flesh until more eased its way out of her bodice, he began to suck on the tender flesh under her breast causing her to moan.

He continued as she rubbed against him as best as she could in her position. Cullen bit down on the spot he had been sucking. She let out a small whine trying to contain a cry. Oh, but how he wanted to make her scream and moan so all of the Winter Palace could hear. He smiled as he licked the bright red mark he created thinking about all those prissy nobles hearing Rayne scream his name.

Cullen raised his head and teased her lips with his tongue. He nudged her nose with his, “I want to see your eyes.” He whispered and traced their lips together.

Rayne snaked out her tongue trying to taste him. “Cullen…” she pleaded.

“Your eyes. Let me see you and then you can kiss me.”

She whined and bit her lower lip. “If someone should walk in—“

“Please, Rayne.” He murmured and nuzzled his face into her neck. “I want to make love to you, not Miranda.”

She licked her swollen lips making them glisten and he wanted nothing more than to kiss her again. Instead he started grinding against her. She moaned at the applied pressure. The tip of his cock slipped between her wet lower lips.

Rayne mewled and finally he felt the magic skitter across her skin. He watched as the freckles slowly vanished and her skin turned into a light peach from the darker tan. Cullen brought his hand to her glass mask and gently lifted it off her face as the freckles there vanished and her eyes turned bright turquoise and her flame hair became black.

Cullen smiled as he set the mask on a nearby table. “ _Vhenan._ ” He whispered.

_“Vhenan’ara.”_ She breathed.

He pressed his lips to her and snaked his tongue into her mouth, their tongues masterfully dueled. Finally he slipped his shaft inside her hot core, moaning at the pleasure of feeling the wet warm walls surround him as he plunged deeper. He felt her fingers try in vain to claw his back, but his clothing was in the way.

Cullen slowly pumped in and out of her. Her moans filling his mouth the faster he went. Unable to use her nails on him, Rayne did the next best thing. She grabbed his lower lip in her teeth and sucked on it at first. But the harder and faster he went that sucking became biting, to the point where he tasted blood. The metallic taste sent him pounding hard into her until she released his lip and threw her head back and cried out.

He felt the pressure build up in his stomach and moaned her name over and over like a prayer. Rayne buried her face into his shoulder as her walls began to constrict around him. He bit hard into her neck and that sent her over the edge. Her cries of pleasure and pain were muffled in the cloth of his jacket and her body shook. Cullen thrust hard and deep into her three more times before he felt the sweet release deep inside her core. He barely caught his cry of ecstasy before burying his face into her neck to muffle himself. His knees shook as he continued to release himself, until finally he was done.

Their breath was ragged as they held tightly onto one another and slowly came down from their high.

After a few minutes Rayne chuckled. “So much for keeping quiet.”

He smiled and lifted his head and kissed her. “I’m definitely not complaining.” He slipped out of her with a soft suck and slowly lowered her legs to the ground. “Are you able to stand?”

She nodded. She brought a hand to his lips. “I’m sorry, your lip…”

Cullen licked the inside and winced at the pain and teeth indents. “Can you help me with that?”

She smiled and brought her lips to his and kissed him so gently it felt like a feather. He felt the magic come off her lips onto his. It was a strange feeling to be healed that way, and the magic almost seemed to have a taste. It was familiar.

When the healing was done Rayne leaned back and smiled. “Better?”

He licked his lips to feel for pain, but also to savor the taste. “Yes.” His tongue snaked over his gums and then abruptly stopped as he realized what the taste was like. **Lyrium.** He thought to himself.

Rayne tilted her head. “Cullen? Are you all right?”

He cleared his throat and gave her a tight smile. “Yes, I’m fine. We should, uh, probably clean up and get back to the ball.”

She studied him and then nodded. She bent over and picked up her destroyed smallclothes. She held them up with one finger and smirked at him.

He smiled sheepishly.

She chuckled. “Here, you can use them to clean up below.”

He shook his head in amusement but did what she said. Once he was done cleaning away the fluids around his groin she took the messed cloth and in a flash of flame destroyed them. “Easy clean up.” He chuckled as he pulled up his smalls and pants and adjusted his belt.

“One perk about being a mage.” She said lightly as she straightened out her dress.

Cullen ran his fingers through his hair trying to make himself look presentable. “How does it look?”

Rayne smirked. “Well, better. It no longer looks like you just had sex in the trophy room.”

“I’ll take it.” He laughed.

She motioned to the door. “Go check to make sure everything is okay while I put my make-up back on.”

“All right.” He leaned into her and kissed her one last time. “Don’t forget the mask.”

Cullen opened the door and peered out to make sure no one was standing outside the door to pounce on them. Finding it all clear he slipped out and turned to gently close the door. He turned and jumped in surprise.

Standing behind him was Blackwall with his arms crossed over his chest and a look of… disappointment? Something that baffled Cullen. “Ser Cullen.” He said in his usual gruff voice.

Cullen smiled. “Ser Blackwall. I thought you were with the Inquisitor in the servants quarters?”

“Got back not too long ago.” His eyes darkened. “Heard a bit of commotion in the room.”

Cullen cleared his throat. “Uh, yes, well…”

Blackwall surged forward and knocked him to the wall. Cullen grunted as he was thrown against the wall as the Warden pressed his thick arm across his chest pinning him. “What’s the matter with you?” The old vet growled.

“What are you talking about?”

“You have a beautiful, smart and loyal woman. A hero and warrior.” He kept his voice low. “And here I find you sneaking around with some Orlesian noblewoman?” He sniffed. “I can smell it on you.”

Cullen was too stunned to say anything. He now understood the disappointment that he had seen in the other man’s eyes. Blackwall thought he was seeing another woman, cheating on Rayne – a woman that Blackwall respected and admired on multiple levels. Which he couldn’t blame him, especially if someone saw Cullen sneak away with someone that was supposed to look like Marquis Miranda de Serault.

“What’s going on here?”

They both turned as Rayne – now back into her Miranda guise – exited the trophy room with a frown of confusion on her face.

Blackwall cast a dark look at Cullen before releasing him and turned to Rayne. “Forgive me, Marquis, I was having a private chat with my Commander.”

Rayne raised an eyebrow and came closer. “Really? Because it looked like you were about to rip his head off.”

Blackwall cleared his throat.

She smirked and crossed her arms. “But, it’s nice to know you that you’ll defend my honor and keep Cullen in line when I’m not around.” She said in amusement, her voice back to normal.

Blackwall’s eyebrows rose in slight surprise.

Cullen straightened out his ruffled coat from where he was grabbed.

“Now, then, if you gentlemen will excuse me. I need to get to the ballroom.” Her eyes went to Cullen. “Don’t take too long, no doubt you’re being missed.”

He nodded.

The two men watched her go. When they saw her vanish through the door to the ballroom Blackwall awkwardly cleared his throat.

Cullen looked at him out of the corner of his eye.

“My apologies, Ser Cullen. I… should have known better than to assume you would have betrayed Lady Rayne that way.”

Cullen smiled. “Its fine, Warden Blackwall. I understand. The… situation didn’t look great.”

He sighed in relief. And then shook his head with a chuckle. “Our Lady Rayne is an interesting woman with a lot of surprises.”

Cullen smacked his shoulder and squeezed. “You have no idea.” He said with humor.


	71. Amell

She stood looking over the dance floor as she watched Alec with Florianne as he led her off the dance floor, she saw them talking but could not hear what was being said. After Alec separated from the Duchess, Josephine was quick to intercept him and start leading him her way.

Leliana and Cullen converged on the pair, standing behind Rayne so she could over hear but not seem like she was actually part of group.

“Were you _dancing_ with Duchess Florianne?” Leliana asked in surprise.

“More importantly, what happened in the servants’ quarters?” Cullen asked all business. “I heard there was fighting.”

Rayne took a sip of the wine she held and leaned on the closest pillar.

“I hope you have good news.” Josephine cut in. “It appears the peace talks are crumbling.”

Rayne scoffed. “You were expecting otherwise?” She said low, barely moving her lips. “I could have told you there was only going to be two outcomes of these ‘peace talks’. I’m not even a diplomat and I know that much.”

“I’m beginning to agree with, Rayne.” Alec said. “The Grand Duchess tried to convince me Gaspard is the traitor, but I’m not sure I buy it.”

“Florianne and her brother are thick as thieves,” Leliana said. “But she would give him up in an instant to save herself.”

“Then… the attack on the Empress _will_ happen tonight.” Cullen sighed.

“Warning Celene is pointless.” Josephine said. “She needs these talks to succeed, and to flee would admit defeat.”

Rayne rolled her eyes.

“Then perhaps we should let her die.” Leliana said harshly.

Rayne tilted her head thinking about that prospect.

“I won’t stand by and _let_ her die!” Alec hissed.

“Listen to me carefully, Inquisitor.” Leliana said slowly as if trying to explain something to a child. “What Corypheus wants is chaos. Even with Celene alive, that could still happen. To foil his plan, the Empire must remain strong. This evening, _someone_ must emerge victorious.”

“And it doesn’t need to be Celene.” Cullen said slowly, thinking over this seemingly new revelation. “She’s right.”

“Do you realize what you’re suggesting, Leliana?” Josephine said in shock.

“Sometimes the best path is not the easiest one.” Leliana said unphased.

“You’re asking me to decide what’s best for Orlais.” Alec growled.

He didn’t want to be put in that position. To make that decision. Rayne understood that. She did the same for Orzammar and Ferelden, neither had she wanted to choose. But fate and circumstance had placed her there, just like it was now doing to Alec.

“More than that.” Cullen said. “Whoever controls the Imperial throne will affect all of Thedas.”

“You cannot stop Corypheus without a decision.” Leliana said bluntly. “You must support someone, or all is lost.”

“Then we should support Celene.” Josephine said. “She _is_ the rightful ruler. Why would we say otherwise?”

Rayne snorted. **Rightful ruler. We won’t take into account that she snaked the throne out from Gaspard.** She thought in amusement. She could feel Josephine’s glare on the back of her neck.

“Because she led Orlais to this point.” Cullen said. “I say Gaspard, provided his sister is wrong about him.”

“I would suggest Briala.” Leliana put in. “She could bring true peace, not only to the Empire but also to its elves.”

“This is, however, your decision, Inquisitor.” Josephine conceded. “Not ours.”

“I can’t decide this.” Alec said with uncertainty. “Not yet.”

“You must.” Leliana snapped. “Even inaction is a decision, Inquisitor.”

“You could speak to Celene in the ballroom, but she won’t act.” She offered. “Not without proof.”

“If Gaspard is guilty, he’ll admit nothing.” Cullen said. “If he’s innocent, he knows nothing. We need the truth.”

“What did Duchess Florianne tell you?” Leliana asked.

“She said Gaspard’s mercenary captain is in the royal wing.” Alec said. “That he knows about the assassination.”

“Which could be a trap.” Cullen stated

“Or a lead.” Josephine offered. “Either way, you should search the private quarters in that wing for clues.”

“Care to add anything to this discussion, Rayne?” Leliana asked laced with annoyance.

“You want my opinion in politics?”

“Every opinion is welcome.” Alec said.

Rayne swirled around her drink as she thought and took a drink before answering. “I wouldn’t suggest Briala.”

“Why?” Leliana said with an edge to her voice as if it was a personal slight that Rayne didn’t choose her choice of candidate.

Rayne rolled her eyes. “Because Briala can’t have the throne on her own.” She said slowly. “Which means you would have to still have Celene or Gaspard on the throne as a puppet for her to use. Do you think either one of them would be appreciative of that? You would have a war again sooner or later. We’re supposed to be ending a war not helping set up another one.”

“So, that leaves Celene or Gaspard.” Alec said thoughtfully. “Any opinion on them?”

“Celene is definitely the diplomat. She is the pinnacle of everything that is wrong with Orlesian society and The Great Game. People’s lives shouldn’t be left to a game played by children in puffed up suits and dresses.”

“Orlais has been this way for decades.” Josephine said in her typical annoyed voice when speaking to Rayne about the intricacies of diplomacy that she ignored.

“Yes, and look at where it is now. It’s in superb condition, wouldn’t you say?” She said sarcastically. “The scars of war give the land character.”

“So, your choice would be Gaspard?” Alec asked.

She took a slow drink, her eyes fell on the room that the peace talks were being held. “Gaspard is a military mind. An analyst. He doesn’t believe in games, but strategy. He truly loves Orlais and would do anything to keep it protected from _any_ threat, inside or out. With the war to come you will need someone that will be quick to act.” She paused. “The only setback… would be what that would mean for Ferelden. The Orlesian military has wanted to invade Ferelden since it was lost by Drakon to Maric forty years ago.

“In the end, Alec, the choice is yours. But you need to be well informed of all your prospects and what their potential rule means. Not only for Orlais, but for the rest of Thedas.”


	72. Trevelyan/Amell

He watched as the young elven woman headed to the ballroom to find Cullen. Blackwall and Dorian searched the rest of the room for potential clues, Cole stood at his side waiting. Alec nibbled on his lower lip in thought as he kept thinking about the choice he was going to have to make, and he hated that he was the one that had to be the one to choose.

He agreed with Rayne about Briala. So that at least removed one candidate for the running. He even thought about maybe getting Celene and Gaspard to work together. But didn’t that raise the same issue as Briala ruling with someone as a puppet? He thought again: but it wouldn’t be a puppet and a puppeteer. It would be a mutual rule… wouldn’t it?

He rubbed his head as it began to hurt. “I hate politics.” He grumbled.

“Found another statue.” Dorian said approaching.

Alec took the small silver statue of a majestic halla. He had originally found it odd that the Winter Palace would have elven artifacts that acted as magical keys to some doors. That was until the elf they had just rescued confirmed that Briala and Celene were indeed lovers once. Due to scandal, Celene had been forced arrest Briala when the elf had been part of an attack on another Orlesian nobleman. Briala had managed to escape and after set herself to build an elven army against the Empress. Briala now looked like nothing more than a spurned lover.

Between that new information and the elven locket he had found in Celene’s personal vault, that was obviously a locket from a lover, he had blackmail material on the Empress and Briala should he need it. The question was: how would he use it? Would he use it to make potential parties work together? Or to cast them out of the Game for good?

_“Amatus?”_ Dorian asked.

Alec looked up from the statue, dropping it into the pouch along with the others he had collected. “Just holding the fate of one nation in my hands… no big deal, right?” He gave his lover a lopsided smile.

Dorian chuckled and smiled, the corners of his eyes wrinkling. One of the things Alec loved was when he would get a genuine smile out of Dorian because it reached his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to kiss his lover.

“We should move on.” Blackwall said making for the door.

Alec sighed and followed the warrior as he left the room and went to the next door. Blackwall pressed his head to the door and listened.

“I hear… grunting?”

“Like a struggle?” Alec asked coming up behind him.

He shrugged. “That would be my guess.” He tried the handle but it was locked. He huffed. “No keyhole.”

“Guess it’s a good thing we got these statues then.” Alec inspected the compartments surrounding the door and pulled out five halla statues.

They placed the statues in the compartments and watched as the magical lock was clicked and the door opened. Their small group silently slipped into the room.

Alec’s eyes scanned the room but saw no sign of anyone. He went over to the table and riffled through papers. “Uh… I think we’re in the Empresses personal quarters.” He said softly.

Doran came up beside him. “What makes you say that?”

He held up a few papers that had Celene’s personal seal and the seal ring next to it. “Call it a hunch.”

“Uh, Inquisitor, you may want to see this.” Blackwall called softly to him from another part of the room.

Alec went to join the warrior at the top of the steps that led further into the bedroom where a big bed sat in the middle of the room. And there on top was a man tied to the posts… fully naked except for the plate helm that covered his head marking him as a guard, struggling against the ropes that held him. That explained the grunting they had heard.

Alec and Blackwall exchanged glances and then went to the bed.

Alec stood at the side a few moments before the guard noticed him. The man stopped struggling and then slowly turned his head to Alec in horror at being caught in his situation. “This isn’t what it looks like.” He said in his thick Orlesian accent.

Alec raised an eyebrow and let his eyes slide up and down the guard’s exposed body saying he didn’t quite believe him.

“Honestly, I would have preferred if it _were_ what it looks like. The Empress led me to believe I would be… rewarded for betraying the Grand Duke. This… was not what I hoped for.”

Alec cleared his throat. “Yes, I can image what you thought your reward would be.”

“Please, I beg you, don’t tell Gaspard!” The guard begged in a whiny voice. “The Empress beguiled me! Into giving her information about… plans for troop movements in the palace tonight. She knows everything! Everything! The Duke’s surprise attack has been countered before it ever began.”

Alec scratched the back of his head as he thought. **So, Gaspard was planning an attack. He had no plans to go fully through with the peace talks. Or perhaps it was because he knew they would be pointless like Rayne did, and like she so pointed out, he was a strategist and acted accordingly.** How would this factor into his choice?

“She’s turned it into a trap.” The guard continued. “The moment he strikes, she’ll have him arrested for treason.”

Alec paced away thinking. He could use this as leverage against Celene or even Gaspard. The question was: Should he? Finally he sighed and went back to the bed and began untying the guard. “Don’t breathe a word about this.”

“I can promise that. I have no intention of dying, Inquisitor. If Gaspard didn’t kill me for this, Celene would…”

* * *

 

“Something’s not right.” Blackwall rumbled under his breath as they went down the hall.

As if on cue, Alec hissed as the mark of his hand flared to life indicating a rift was nearby. He looked down the hall and readied his staff. “Stay on your guard.”

A man yelling caught their attention. They ran as quickly as they could down the darkened corridor and burst through the double doors that led back outside. They skidded to a halt as they came face-to-face with eight archers pointing arrows at them and an open rift between them.

Alec swallowed briefly wondering why they hadn’t become a pincushion by now.

“Inquisitor!” A voice from above drew his eyes up to a balcony where Florianne walked into view. “What a pleasure! I wasn’t certain you’d attend.”

He groaned at being led into this trap. He really should have seen this.

“You’re such a challenge to read. I had no idea if you’d taken my bait.”

Alec hid his glowing hand behind his back, he found the bright green glow distracting. “I fear I’m a bit busy at the moment, if you were looking for a dance partner.”

Florianne gave him a sharp smirk. “Yes, I see that. Such a pity you did not save one final dance for me. It was kind of you to walk into my trap so willingly. I was tired of your meddling.”

He tilted his head and shrugged to himself. At least he accomplished something tonight.

“Corypheus insisted that the Empress die tonight, and I would hate to disappoint him.” Florianne continued.

“Why kill the Empress? What does Corypheus want to achieve?”

“Celene’s death is a stepping stone on the path to a better world. Corypheus will enter the Black City and claim the godhood waiting for him. We will cast down your useless Maker and usher in a united world, guided by the hand of an attentive god.”

He frowned. “What exactly is in this for you?”

She laughed. “The world, of course!”

**Well, at least you don’t aim small.** He thought sarcastically.

“I’ll deliver the entire South of Thedas, and Corypheus will save me. When he has ascended to godhood, I will rule all Thedas in his name. I admit, I will relish the look on Gaspard’s face when he realizes I’ve outplayed him. He always was a sore loser.”

**So, Gaspard doesn’t know about this. That’s… comforting, I suppose. Means he isn’t as crazy as his sister.** “You’re not being kind, Florianne. Corypheus needs to get use to disappointment.”

Florianne narrowed her eyes. “But not today. In their darkest dreams, no one imagines I would assassinate Celene myself. All I need is to keep you out of the ballroom long enough to strike.”

Leliana’s words came back to him: **_The best place to strike at Celene is from her side_**. She was right, but had been thinking of the wrong woman. His eyes went to the archers in front of him and watched as one began to twitch. Alec licked his lips playing out the situation.

“A pity you’ll miss the rest of the ball, Inquisitor.” Florianne went on. She apparently liked to hear herself talk. “They’ll be talking of it for years. Kill him and bring me his marked hand.” She walked off, no doubt heading back to the ballroom.

Alec rolled as soon as he heard the first arrow loose.

* * *

Dorian was already at the man that had been tied up the entire time who didn’t look like any guard or soldier. In simple cloth and leather attire but had weapons strapped to his hips.

“Andraste’s tits!” The man grumbled as he rubbed his wrists where they were bound. Alec was surprised to hear a Fereldan accent. “What was all that?” He rose from the ground. “Were those demons? There aren’t any more blasted demons coming, right?”

“Good eye! Those were definitely demons.” Alec said with a smirk.

“Maker bless me!” The other man exclaimed. “How could there be demons in the fucking Winter Palace?”

Alec couldn’t help but smile. He definitely enjoyed being around Fereldans a great deal more than Orlesians. Their rustic nature and burly personalities were far more pleasurable to him than the frivolity and snake-like qualities of Orlais.

The man grumbled. “I knew Gaspard was a bastard, but I didn’t think he’d feed me to fucking horrors over a damned bill.”

Alec raised an eyebrow. “Duke Gaspard lured you out here?”

“Well, his sister,” He amended. “But it had to come from him, didn’t it?”

**Not necessarily.** Alec thought

“All that garbage she was spewing doesn’t mean anything. Gaspard had to be the mastermind.”

“Your accent sounds Ferelden. I thought you were one of Gaspard’s mercenaries.”

“Born and raised in Denerim. Seems like I should have stayed there.” He mumbled. “The Duke wanted to move on the Palace tonight. But he didn’t have enough fancy chevaliers. So he hired me and my men. He had to offer us triple our usual pay to come to Orlais. Stinking poncy cheesemongers.”

Alec chuckled at that. “Want a new job? One that pays better? The Inquisition can always use a good mercenary company.” They had The Bull’s Chargers, but Bull’s men couldn’t be everywhere.

“You hiring? I’m game. Anything’s better than this bullshit. You want me to talk to the Empress, or the court, or sing a blasted song in the Chantry, I’ll do it.”

“Meet me in the ballroom, find Commander Cullen.”

* * *

* * *

 

She narrowed her eyes watching Florianne as she approached her brother as she came through one of the side doors. Rayne tapped her fingers against the banister in anxiety waiting for Alec. She was beginning to get worried that he been gone for so long.

“Anything?”

Rayne turned her head slightly to see Cullen from the corner of her eye. He had managed to shake his fan club and now was leaning against the banister watching Celene speaking with a group of women that wore matching masks to hers.

“I haven’t heard anything about Alec.” She said softly. “I’m getting nervous, Cullen.”

He clenched his jaw and fist, he hated not being able to do anything. He had finished setting up the men who were now in position awaiting the signal from their Commander. But without word from Alec, not even Cullen knew what to do. They had not discussed a contingency plan should something prevent their Inquisitor from making a choice on the future of Orlais. Rayne doubted they would have been able to, since the Inquisitor’s advisers seemed to never agree on anything.

“What are we going to do?” He finally said.

Rayne didn’t think that he really wanted an answer, but she gave him one. “I don’t know.”

“You Commander Cullen?” A voice she didn’t know asked, she was surprised by the Fereldan accent.

Cullen turned to a man in simple cloth and leathers. “I am.”

“Your Inquisitor sent me to find you. Seems you lot need a good merc company.”

Cullen frowned. “Wait, you’re the mercenary captain that was supposedly working for the Grand Duke?”

The man nodded. “I was. Now I’m working for you. Your Inquisitor sent me.”

“Where is he?” Cullen demanded.

“He’ll no doubt be out any minute.”

**He best hurry.** Rayne thought to herself as she watched Florianne and Gaspard slowly make their way across the hall to rejoin Celene, stopping periodically to speak with nobles who wanted their attention.

By the time Alec finally made it back to the hall Cullen looked as if he was about to jump out of his own skin trying to remain calm. The moment he saw the Inquisitor he rushed to him.

“Thank the Maker you’re back! The Empress will begin her speech soon. What should we do?”

Alec didn’t answer right away, looking panicked. Finally he took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. “The Duchess will assassinate Celene personally. Wait for her to strike, then grab her.”

Cullen nodded. “As you command.” Ever efficient, he hurried to his waiting men to wait for the right moment.

Alec exchanged glances with Rayne. She gave him a reassuring nod and watched as he went to hide in the crowd closer to Celene and the others. Rayne scanned the area but saw no sign of Morrigan, which she took as a good sign. Meant the witch wouldn’t be around to save Celene at the last moment, and Morrigan was never very adept at healing so she wouldn’t be able to save the Empress from a fatal wound.

Rayne wove her way through the throngs of people as they gathered to listen to Celene, watching carefully for any other signs of duplicity on Florianne’s part.

“Let all gathered attend!” A voice reverberated through the hall. “Her Imperial Majesty will now address the court!”

Celene gracefully went to the end of the balcony to overlook all those attended. Briala and Gaspard stood below overlooking the crowd, and Florianne stood a short distance away from the Empress with a satisfied look on her face.

“My friends,” Celene started. “We have lost much. We have each seen a child, a lover, a friend consigned to the flames. The darkness has closed in around us, but even now there is light! We must be that light! We must lead our people safely through these troubled times. We must be their guiding star.”

Rayne would give her this much: Celene knew how to work a room. All eyes were riveted on their Empress.

“Tonight, the war dividing us must end.” She motioned to Florianne who made her way to the Empress’ side.

Briala and Gaspard finally turned to look to the Duchess.

“My friends, we are here to witness an historic moment. A great change is coming for all of us.” Florianne smiled and began moving slowly behind Celene. “Isn’t that right, Gaspard?”

Rayne caught movement in the crowd as Alec attempted to push through people who were now blocking him from being near his target.

A gasp, a cry of pain from Celene and the collective gasps and cries of surprise, fright from the crowd brought Rayne’s attention back to the balcony as Celene lurched forward trying to grasp onto the banister of the balcony as a dark stain grew over the middle of her blue dress where a blade pushed through her. Celene collapsed to the floor and did not rise.

“Florianne!” Gaspard yelled in equal amounts of anger and surprise. “What have you done?”

The Duchess laughed. “Don’t be coy! It went just as we planned! I did this for you, brother!”

“Me? Have you gone mad?”

Rayne frowned. Gaspard may be a decent player of The Game, but his surprise seemed far too genuine. No, he had no idea that his sister was plotting to assassinate Celene.

“No.” Alec said, his voice carrying across the room. “Not Gaspard. You did this for Corypheus.”

Inquisition soldiers, along with Alec, quickly converged on Florianne. But the Duchess would not go down quietly.

“What a terrible guest you are.” Florianne said in a condescending tone. “Interrupting your host.”

Screams of fright and pain came from the crowds. Assassins, known as Harlequins, went into action at a silent command from Florianne and began slaughtering nobles. Rayne grabbed one nearby by the arm, catching the assassin by surprise. With a grunt Rayne twisted the assassin’s arm until she heard a pop, causing them to drop the blade in their hand. Using the barest hint of magic she threw the killer to the wall and quickly picked up the blade left behind.

“For Corypheus, kill them!” Florianne yelled.

Nobles were now panicking trying to find a way to escape the killers around them. Inquisition soldiers were quick to act trying to defend the crowds of people. And Rayne rushed to join them slashing at the Harlequins that were foolish enough to attempt to attack her or made the mistake of disregarding her. With all the commotion around her, she lost track of what happened with Alec and Florianne. Her world was narrowed down to the enemies around her and trying to keep as many of the nobles alive.

 

She walked through the throngs of people, some on the floor holding onto injured limps, some in chairs unable to stand any longer, and others were huddled in groups already twittering away like the mockingbirds they were awaiting for the outcome of the night. Celene and Florianne were now dead, what did that mean for Orlais? Who would now ascend to the throne? All knew that the Inquisition now held the fate of their nation in his hands. What would he choose?

Rayne had managed to lose her mask in the fight, but after things had calmed down she had quickly changed her face that had once been hidden. Her face still tingled from shifting her cheek bones to look like Miranda. Blood splatter stained her dress, something she was slightly disappointed in. She had actually liked it.

Her eyes went to the outside balcony where Alec stood between Gaspard and Briala. Inquisition soldiers lined the hall or were aiding the injured as best as they could. Josephine had originally been a state of shock from Celene’s demise, but she had been quick to regain composure. There was nothing she could do now other than support whatever decision Alec made.

And judging by the look of agitation on Briala’s face and two guards apprehending her, Rayne could guess Alec’s decision. Together Alec and Gaspard came back to the hall and stood where once Celene had been, her body long since removed.

Rayne couldn’t help but smile at Alec as he held his head high, not allowing his doubt to show. But she couldn’t already see the traces in his eyes, already wondering if he had made the right decision. It was a look and feeling she knew all too well. She had felt the same when she had put Bhelen on the throne in Orzammar.

“And so the crown falls to me.” Gaspard began, all eyes turning to him for guidance. “This is not the victory I hoped for. I wanted this moment filled with song, not with sorrow. But I have always been a soldier. As every soldier knows, the difference between defeat and victory is how it is named. An enemy has struck the Empire in its very heart. As your Emperor, I promise justice. Orlais will not allow such atrocities – corruption, deceit, murder, to go unchallenged.

“We will face Corypheus. He will know the wrath of the lion. We will fight shoulder-to-shoulder with the Inquisition. Together, we will send our enemy to the Maker’s judgment.” Gaspard looked to Alec.

He stepped forward. “We will teach Corypheus and his allies the meaning of fear. Their victims will be avenged.”

Gaspard nodded. “We have much work ahead. But that is for another day. Tonight, be at ease. Rest and prepare yourselves for the battle ahead.”

Rayne sighed in relief and looked around until she found who she was looking for.

Cullen stood off to the side watching Gaspard and Alec as they went aside and traded a few quiet words before Alec went back out onto the balcony alone.

Rayne gently touched his arm and leaned in close. “I’ll meet you all back at Skyhold.”

“You’re going alone?”

“Better that Miranda not be seen leaving with the Inquisition.” She smiled and lightly kissed his cheek before turning away.


	73. Cullen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art by [Agregor](http://agregor.deviantart.com/)

It was another week before they finally made it back to Skyhold. It was the middle of the night, the courtyard would have been quiet if it wasn’t for all those returning from Halamshiral with the Inquisitor. But Alec had sent ahead a message stating not to send the whole place in a panic for them. They only needed a few hands to help with mounts. By the time they arrived everyone was even too tired to eat, instead they went to their respective rooms to pass out.

Cullen was still trying to mull over how he was going to explain to Rayne about the newest addition to the Inquisition, per the request of Gaspard. And not thinking, or talking it over with his advisers, Alec had immediately agreed to allow her to come to Skyhold.

He continued to brush his horse as he tried to think of the right tactic to approach Rayne about Morrigan. Luckily the Witch had not beaten them to Skyhold. Plotting the conversation out was like trying to work out a battle plan on the War Table. But he knew he had to tell her about Morrigan tonight, or else she would hear it from someone else in the morning, which would be worse than hearing it from him directly.

“Commander.”

Cullen blinked rapidly being pulled out of his thoughts and realizing he had stopped brushing his horse and was just standing there. He turned to the Horse-master, “Yes. Sorry, Dennett. Was there something you needed?”

Dennett smiled and offered his hand to take the brush in Cullen’s hand. “I think you’re done for the night. You and the horse could use some sleep.”

Cullen smiled sheepishly and handed him the brush. “You’re right. But my night isn’t done yet.”

Dennett chuckled. “Is it ever for you, Ser?”

He gave the Horse-master a lopsided smile before turning and heading to the Keep. Everyone else had long since retired, so he enjoyed the quiet and dark walk through the courtyard. He had missed the quiet ever since leaving Skyhold for Halamshiral. He had been in the middle of a rambunctious company of soldiers and the Inquisitor’s inner circle – including a boisterous Iron Bull and prank-loving Sera – for the last two weeks and then the debacle of the Winter Palace. He idly rubbed his bottom where it was still tender from all the unwanted attention it got.

The hall was deserted except for two servants finishing up preparing the tables for breakfast in the morning. The hearth was cold and all the torches were doused, leaving only the six stone statues that were constantly lit to cast a gentle orange light through the hall.

Cullen stopped outside the door leading to his and Rayne’s room, tonight would be the first time they actually shared their joint room. But not quite yet.

With a sigh he turned away and went to the door across the hall that led to Josephine’s office and to the War Room. To his surprise Josephine was still awake and straightening a few papers in her hands.

“I figured you would be asleep already.” He said.

Josephine rubbed her face and smiled. “I was about to when I remembered the papers I wanted to give you.” She gave him an amusement smirk. “I knew you would want to visit the War Room before retiring yourself.” She handed him a few sheets of paper that had information scribbled on it.

He gave it a glance and nodded. “Thank you.” He smiled. “Sleep well, Ambassador.” He continued to the War Room.

“Try to get some sleep yourself, Commander. I’m sure Rayne is waiting eagerly.” Josephine called playfully behind him before he heard a door open and shut.

He shook his head and began reading the papers. They were reports from the Western Approach. Rylen had found a potential hold the Inquisition could claim as their base of operations, an old Warden outpost. The only problem was the Venatori currently occupying it and he didn’t have the current numbers to take the hold on their own.

He pushed open the door to the War Room. Stroud was getting closer to his lead on the magical advisor that was working with the Wardens, but he believed—

Cullen finally looked up and his mind went completely blank with what he was just doing.

Rayne was there waiting, leaning against the War Table wearing nothing more than _his_ lion furred coat. She practically swam in the coat, the large furred shoulders threatening to fall off her to expose her body; the front was gaped open barely hiding her breasts but closed off at the bottom to hide her womanhood with the coat tucked between her thighs to keep it in place.

The only light came from the pale moon glow through the window behind her causing her skin to glitter. He was mildly surprised that she hadn’t cut her hair since leaving the Winter Palace. Her black hair was out of the braids so fell to her waist in soft waves. He hadn’t seen her hair that long since his early days at the Tower.

She continued to just stand there and watch him, a soft smile on her face and lust in her eyes.

Cullen’s brain finally began to function as he remembered just exactly where they were. His grip tightened on the papers in his hands that he had nearly lost through his fingers. “What are you doing?” He said in a quiet tone so as not to bring anyone to them. He turned and silently shut the heavy wood door behind him, took the leather loop and slipped it over one of the stone latches.

Rayne raised an eyebrow when he turned back to her. “I thought it was obvious.” She said playfully. She shifted slightly causing the right furred shoulder of the coat to fall exposing her small shoulder underneath and more of her breast.

He swallowed, trying to remember to think. “Anyone could have come in here and found you.” He went to the table and placed the papers on it.

She watched him closely and shrugged, making the coat descend more. It seemed to have a mind of its own, to only move marginally to tease him with her perfect breasts beneath. “I wasn’t worried. When we received word when you all would arrive I knew only you would be foolish enough to come here instead of going to bed.”

Cullen smirked and moved in front of her, having her tilt her head up to him to keep eye contact. “And what if I decided to go to bed instead?”

“I know you too well, my love.” She smiled devilishly. “Even if you knew I was waiting naked and wanting in bed you would have still come here first.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that.” He eyed her up and down. “That’s my coat by the way.”

“Is it?” She asked lightly. “I suppose you’ll want it back then?” With a small shrug the coat fell easily off her small frame and spilled onto the floor pooling around her feet.

Cullen’s eyes slowly traveled up her legs and he licked his lips as he was met with a surprise. Her mound perfectly hairless and smooth, giving him an inviting view of her folds. His gaze continued to climb up her beautiful body to her face where her cheeks were a light pink from her being under his strong gaze.

“Maker’s breath.” He breathed out, unable to come up with anything better.

Rayne smiled coyly and reached a hand forward and grabbed his belt – still wearing the dark green formal attire that he wore at the Winter Palace having left his armor here when they left, but he had kept it clean during their travel back – and gently tugged him to her. He didn’t resist. Her delicate fingers traveled up his coat and began to unbutton the coat.

“I do have to say, Commander,” She said, never breaking her task. “You do look dashing in this.”

“Dashing wouldn’t be the word I would have used.”

She released the last button and pulled the coat down his arms letting it fall to the floor as she began tugging at his light white shirt that he had worn underneath that was tucked into his pants. “I would.”

Cullen stared at his coat on the floor, reminding him of the masquerade and reminding him of the news he had to tell her. “Rayne… I need to tell you something.” He tried to steady his voice and tried in vain to distract his mind from her hands slipping under his shirt to press against his skin.

“Go on.” She continued to push his shirt up until he was forced to raise his arms to let her pull the shirt over his head to finally expose his chest to the cool air. Having nothing to hinder her, she lightly brushed her nails across his flesh.

Cullen shivered and grabbed her hands. “Rayne… please.” He practically pleaded. “This is important.”

She mewled softly and leaned forward. “More important than this?” She asked softly. Her warm breath causing his skin to pebble before she kissed his chest and continued her trail of hot kisses up.

He groaned trying to focus but found it was a losing battle. His groin had long since hardened and was now pulsing under constricting cloth. Rayne’s lips went up to the base of his throat, right under his Adams apple and grazed her teeth against the tender spot there that caused his breathing to hitch.

She hummed in satisfaction. “I could always stop, if it is _that_ important.” She pulled slightly away.

Cullen growled low in his throat. He both hated and loved what she could do to him. She could make the most primal part of him surge forth with just a few well-placed touches.

He released her hands and quickly grabbed her ass drawing her naked body to his. She gasped as he pressed her tightly to him. “To the Void with you, little demon.” He growled and lifted her on top of the War Table.

He held her on the edge of the table, tilting her back slightly as he moved between her legs. His fingers dug into the back of her thighs trying to remain in control. Rayne wrapped one arm around his neck, her fingers weaving into his hair as he moved his face closer to hers. Their foreheads were nearly touching, but he simply stared longingly into her eyes that were filled with lust and love for him. Maker, how could one woman have such a hold over him?

Rayne gave him a feral grin and then began crawling backwards across the table knocking over the small wooden markers of ravens, flags, standing fists of power and others across the table, some falling to the floor and skittering softly across the stone floor. Once she could easily lie back on the table she waited.

Cullen bit his lower lip as he unlaced his breeches and drinking her in. She was leaned back, bracing her arms against the table to be sitting up and watching him, her legs spread open giving him the enticing view of her glistening folds.

He hooked his thumbs under his breeches and smalls and pulled them down around his ankles. He growled in frustration as he met with resistance from the boots he forgot to remove.

Rayne giggled. “Forget something?” She teased.

His lip curled in a feral snarl that held promises of what he was going to do with her, which rewarded him with her best ‘just try it’ smile.

Not wasting another moment he kicked out of his boots and pants, leaving him completely naked in the moonlight that lit the room. His hard shaft pressing to his stomach and twitching in anticipation when he looked back up and found Rayne with fingers in her folds, two holding them open and allowing him to see perfectly clear what she was doing with the third. Her middle finger swirled slowly around her clit eliciting a soft moan from her lips.

“What are you doing?” His voice was husky, his eyes riveted on the display in front of him.

Her head was tilted back. “I grew tired of waiting for you.” Her breathing came more quickly as her finger flicked and pressed down on her sensitive nub.

Cullen growled and climbed onto the table and grabbed her ankle and pulled. She gasped and was forced to stop her administrations. She gave him a playful smirk and she spun around onto her hands and knees to try and crawl away from him. But he wouldn’t have it.

Making sure he had enough purchase on the table, he grabbed both her calves and pulled her to him in a rough tug causing her to give a squeal of surprise at his roughness. He pulled her so hard that she was thrust against him, her rear smacking against him, and the head of his shaft almost accidently slipping into the forbidden tight hole. She gasped at the contact and the way he teased at it, but she did not move away. Instead she spread her legs slightly allowing him better access to what he wished and arched her back as she grinded against him.

He traced a hand down her spine, feeling the rough edges under his fingers moving her long hair over her shoulders to hang over her breasts. He leaned forward, his body pressing against her and his hard cock slipping into her wet folds but not entering her. He kissed the back of her neck and bit her shoulder which rewarded him with her hissing in pleasure. His teeth grazed her skin before he straightened up grabbing his cock and teasing her entrance as he slowly stroked his shaft, slipping the head in and out. Rayne mewled in want and pushed back against him, desperately seeking him, silently begging him to enter her.

“Cullen…” She whined, nails digging into the leather map beneath them.

He gripped her hips and finally pushed into her in a single swift, sweet stroke. He groaned as he slipped deeper into her wet, hot, tight core until he was buried to the hilt and held her still. Rayne moaned, he felt her under his grip trying to set a pace for them.

“Oh-no.” He said softly as he leaned down and kissed her back, the action causing him to push deeper which rewarded him with a whimper from her. “You are mine, little demon.” He straightened and withdrew painstakingly slow from her and then quickly thrust back into her harder this time.

Cullen continued the pace, knowing how she liked it harder. She pushed back against him to meet his strokes. Her sobs and whimpers of pleasure and the slap of their flesh meeting with each thrust were like music to him. It wasn’t long before he was panting and whispering her name, and that whisper turning into moaning.

He felt pressure build up in the pit of his stomach. With a groan, he forced himself to slow and stop causing Rayne to sob in protest. “Don’t worry, love, I’m not done with you. Come up to me.”

With shaking arms, Rayne sat up with his help, his strength allowing him to stay inside of her as she now sat in his lap turned away from him. He pressed her tightly against him, her sweat glistened back and his damp chest pressed together. His arms encircled her, one hand going to a breast that was hidden under hair and cupping it. The other went to her heat, fingers slip between moist folds until he found her clit and applied pressure.

Rayne leaned her head against his shoulder and reached an arm behind him and grasping his hair that was wet and curled. He kissed her neck and sucked at the tender flesh. Holding onto her and applying a bit more pressure to her clit, he moved his body back then pushed up. Her body moved perfectly with his.

His mind briefly thought of how sore his knees would be tomorrow, making love to her on the hard wooden table. But it would be a sweet reminder of their most precious moments that they shared.

Those thoughts quickly left him as each intense movement sent him higher. Time was irrelevant, there were no cares of the outside world. All that mattered was the woman in his arms whose body shook each time their bodies joined. Their breathing ragged, yet sweet. His warm breath caressed her skin, invoking her name like a prayer to the Maker himself. Her nails dug into the back of his neck.

She clenched tighter and tighter around him as he brought her closer.

“I love you,” he bit her shoulder, movements became harder. A flick of his finger at her already tender, engorged nub caused her to hiss, her insides tightening even more. He began drawing little crescent moon shapes over the top.

Her body shook against him, he had her…

He started pounding into her, hitting the sweet delicate spot with every thrust. Each one met with wanton moans and sobs. Until finally her climax hit with a cry of his name. He held onto her tightly to keep her upright as her body shook as he continued to pound into her to ride it out with her until his own came in a strangled moan into her neck, feeling his shaft pulse inside of her as he released himself.

His grip on her loosened as their bodies cooled down, her body barely able to hold itself. He gradually lifted her from his lap, moving her to cradle her in his arms, her head lying on his shoulder as they lay down on the table, holding each other close.

Cullen’s mind finally was grounded and he chuckled as he ran his fingers through her long wet hair. “How am I ever going to be able to concentrate on meetings anymore?” He said lightly.

Rayne’s light laugh caressed the nook of his neck. Her body shifted and she lifted a flag marker for him to see that had apparently been under her. “I think you should be more concerned with the army we just decimated.”

He smiled and nuzzled his face into her hair.

“I can only imagine what other kind of damage we’ve done to the map.” She said lightly tossing the marker.

“I’ll blame it on a stray bird that managed to get in through the holes in the roof.” He said groggily, his body now remembering that he hadn’t slept in almost two days.

Rayne hummed pleasantly. “Doesn’t Josephine know you came in here?”

“Can I come up with a story when I’m more awake?”

She chuckled. With a sigh she moved away from him.

He moaned in protest and tried to grab her to bring her back to him, opening one eye to look up at her disheveled appearance.

She looked down at him and smiled. “But we should go to our room, or else we _will_ be caught in here. I doubt that leather loop will hold out Josephine and Leliana when they want to get in here.” She slid off the table and stretched.

Cullen smiled at the red marks on her backside where his fingers had dug into her and the sight of sweat and his seed on the inside of her thigh.

Rayne bent to pick up his green coat and inspected it. With a nod she slipped it on and buttoned only the few bottom buttons. The coat was long on her, so sat mid-thigh covering herself efficiently.

“What? Don’t want to wear the coat you adopted while I was gone?” He said lightly.

She smiled. “This has a better chance of staying on me on the trip across the hall and up the stairs.” She bent and pick up his pants and shirt and tossed them to him.

He caught them and finally sat up, his body protesting at the action. He just wanted to continue laying there and sleep, even though he knew doing so would leave his body screaming when he woke. “And who says I want anything on you?”

“I may be adventurous, but I prefer not showing off to all the servants.”

He snorted as he finally stood off the table and began tugging on his pants. “Everyone is asleep.”

“We’re not.”

“Everyone sane, then.”

Cullen finished by picking up his furred coat and draped it along with his shirt over one arm. He smiled at her and offered his free hand. Rayne smiled at him and laced her fingers through his.

* * *

 

 

  
[ ](http://imgur.com/WNm45bo)


	74. Cullen

“Still don’t understand why you didn’t try cleaning all this up.” Leliana said picking up more pieces off the floor.

Cullen sighed. “It was dark last night. I could barely see. I figured I would just come in the morning.”

Josephine picked up another marker and raised an eyebrow as the raven on top was missing a wing that had broken off.

He cleared his throat and picked up the final pieces and dropped them on the table and rearranged the papers. His eyes fell on the map and noted dark spots that hadn’t been there before. He had to control his face from betraying just exactly where the stains had come from.

Leliana shook her head while looking at the roof. “We should probably commission the roof here to be mended next so this doesn’t happen again.” She looked at Cullen. “I assume you have all the reports that are needed to fix this mess?”

“Of course.” He held up the reports that Josephine gave him last night. “But we should probably discuss these reports from Stroud and Rylen.”

“What about Stroud and Rylen?” Alec entered the room with a yawn and stopped as he looked around. “What happened here?”

“Bird.” Leliana answered and took the papers from Cullen.

Alec simply raised an eyebrow and then shrugged coming closer.

Cullen mentally sighed in relief. “Stroud is getting closer to the magical advisor,” he began. “He requests that you join him and Hawke in the Western Approach as soon as possible.”

Alec sighed. “Can I have at least a few days? I did just get back last night.”

“Take a few days to recover.” Leliana said as she placed a few of her markers on the map trying to remember where they went. “But then you should go to the Approach.”

“And what about Rylen?” Alec asked.

“The company managed to find an old Warden outpost that he suggests can be used for a base of operations.” Cullen said reading over the report again. “It’s currently being occupied by Venatori.”

“Guess we’ll just have to politely ask them to leave.” Alec said lightly. “So, what’s the issue?”

Cullen tapped his fingers against the table trying to find a solution. “We won’t have the man power to hold the base.” He looked up. “We need merchants, soldiers…”

“What about people from Gaspard?” Alec offered.

Josephine shook her head. “The Emperor can’t offer us people for a time. He has to stop the fighting in the Dales.” She paused. “Something he hopes to have help from you with, especially in the Exalted Plains.”

Alec rubbed his head. “Of course.”

Cullen felt bad for the Inquisitor, he never seemed to be able to relax.

“Well, we need people,” Alec continued. “Any suggestions?”

“What about King Alistair?” Leliana offered. “He said if we needed anything to contact him.”

“Then we should send word to him.” Josephine said.

Leliana crossed her arms and frowned in thought.

“What is it?” Cullen asked finally.

“I’m thinking we should send someone there instead.”

He frowned. “Why?”

“Once Alistair gives us the men we need, they will need to be immediately sent out. Rylen and the Inquisitor can’t sit around waiting for messages to be sent back and forth, then the people sent here just to be sent back out to the Approach.”

Cullen couldn’t fault that logic. But there was one thing he didn’t like. “And who exactly would you send to Denerim?”

Leliana sighed at the edge to his voice. “Someone that has a decent understanding of military movements and would know where to send the people.”

His frown deepened. “Like say a Captain… and considering Rylen is out in the field…”

“Yes, Commander, we would need to send Rayne.” To her credit, Leliana didn’t sound all that thrilled with the idea either.

“That should be a good thing…” Alec said hesitantly. “Shouldn’t it?”

Neither Cullen nor Leliana replied to that. Beside Alistair and Rayne herself, they were the only two that knew what transpired on the King’s visit, and Cullen had only recently been informed. And Rayne wanted it kept that way. She didn’t want people to think ill of their King.

Leliana finally cleared her throat. “It may not be as good of a thing. Things have always been… shaky between Rayne and King Alistair since the Blight for various reasons. And that tenuous relationship has become even more strained.”

“Then send me.” Cullen said before he even realized he said it.

“You?” Josephine said in surprise.

“I am the Commander of the Inquisition army. Sending me would be better than sending someone else, including Rayne. I know exactly where to send troops.”

Leliana studied him and turned to Josephine. “Will you fill the Inquisitor on updates in the Fallow Mire and The Lion?”

Josephine frowned but nodded.

“Wait, what are you—“ Alec started.

“Commander, will you follow me?” Leliana headed for the door.

Cullen raised an eyebrow but followed her out and down the stone steps that led down below the keep. Once they were alone she turned to him and crossed her arms.

“Do you really think it wise for _you_ to go to Denerim? To work with Alistair?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“For various reasons. Most notably your relationship with her. A relationship, I might add, that Alistair has no knowledge of.”

“No knowledge of?” Cullen asked surprised. “I figured word of it reached him the moment it started.”

“I have gone through great pains to make sure that it never reached him.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s best for everyone in the long run. The longer he doesn’t know about it, the less problems we have. And I’m all for less problems right now.”

He sighed. “Fine. So, that should make it easier. Shouldn’t it?”

Leliana didn’t say anything, just continued to stare at him.

He rubbed his head. “Leliana, I know this is important. We need the people. Rayne can’t go. But I can.”

She finally relaxed with a deep breath. “Alright. Just remember: Alistair knows you have history with Rayne. It’s something he’s never liked. Especially when you keep popping up wherever she is.” The last she said with a playful smirk.

He looked at her quizzically, until he finally realized what she was hinting at. He felt warmth in his cheeks and he cleared his throat. “Yes, I know he doesn’t like me. I promise to keep my male ego under control.”

“Good.” She paused. “How did she take the news about Morrigan?”

Cullen groaned.

“You didn’t tell her?”

“It was… a distracting night.”

Leliana raised an eyebrow, but didn’t push. “You need to tell her. Morrigan is supposed to be here by tomorrow, the next day at the latest.”

He leaned against the stone wall. “I want to be here for that. I want to make sure she will be okay with Morrigan being here.”

“You have until the Inquisitor leaves for the Approach. If Morrigan isn’t here by then, you will have to leave anyway. We cannot wait.”

* * *

 

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck as he climbed the stairs.

“He can go pop a duck for all I care.” Rayne voice rang down the stairs, anger edged in her tone. “Emperor he may be, but I don’t bow to him.”

“But… Warden-Commander…” A male voice stammered.

“Out!” She yelled.

A young lad stumbled down the stairs barely catching himself from falling as he ran away from Rayne’s wrath.

Cullen shook his head and finished his climb, finding Rayne at her desk, her legs kicked up top reading over a letter with a scowl on her face.

“You sound like you’ve had a fun morning.” He said lightly as he closed the door behind him. “What was that all about?”

“A preposterous request from our new Emperor of Orlais, and I’ll leave it at that.” She looked up from her letter and nodded to the door. “I’m on call right now if you were hoping for some private time.”

“They’ll have to wait. I need private time, just not the kind you’re hoping for.” He picked up a crumbled letter and tossed it into the hearth that was nothing more than burning embers, enough to burn papers as she went.

“Oh, only I was hoping for?” She said playfully and looked back down at the letter in her hands.

“There was something I needed to tell you last night, that someone distracted me from.”

“I didn’t hear you complaining.” She crumpled the letter and tossed it into the hearth.

He went around the desk and leaned against it facing her. “Rayne.”

“I’m still trying to play catch up on documents from when we left for Tevinter. It’s maddening.”

“Well, this is important. It’s about some events that transpired after you left the Winter Palace.”

“I would ask if someone assassinated Gaspard, but I already know the answer to that.” She said dryly.

“Rayne.” He finally snapped.

She raised her eyes in surprise.

“I know you’re taking this seriously. For the sake of my sanity, please act like it too.”

She set the papers down giving him her full attention. “Alright. But I would like it noted that now you’re starting to worry me. Who died?”

“We gained a new… ally while in Halamshiral.” He started hesitantly.

Rayne raised an eyebrow. “That’s a good thing usually.”

Cullen braced himself. “It’s Morrigan.”

She didn’t say anything. She continued to sit and stare at him.

“Did you hear me?” He finally asked when the silence stretched out too long.

“I was waiting for the next part of the joke.” She said dryly before lifting her legs off the desk and going to the bedroom.

“Rayne.” He groaned following after her.

She was lying down on the floor by the bed, half her body hidden underneath.

“What are you doing?”

“Finding a travel bag. I’m leaving.”

“What?” He was quick to go to her and grab her around the waist and pulled her out from under the bed.

“Cullen,” she growled. “Let. Me. Go.” She squirmed in his hands as he lifted her off the floor and tossed her on the bed.

“You’re being dramatic.” He snapped looking down at her.

Rayne scowled at him. “Dramatic. What part of the incident at Halamshiral did you _not_ understand? I cannot be in the same vicinity as that witch. Not after everything.”

“So, that’s it then?” He forced himself to keep the volume of his voice down. But inside he was angry and hurt.

She crossed her arms and looked away. “I cannot stay here.” Was all she said.

Cullen shook his head and paced away, rubbing the back of his neck in frustration. His eyes fell on the painted wall of the two of them, his heart clenching in his chest. If she left… Maker only knew when he would see her again. If he ever did.

“You said one of the reasons there is bad blood between the two of you is because she tried to take something from you.” He said, still facing away from her.

“I did.” She said softly.

Finally he turned side-faced to her. “You didn’t let her then. But you will let her now?”

Rayne turned her gaze to him with a frown on her face. “What are you talking about?”

“You want to leave the Inquisition… that means leaving _me,_ Rayne.”

She blinked in surprise. She obviously hadn’t been thinking of that.

Cullen went to her and knelt on the floor in front of where she was sitting. “Are you really going to let her separate us?” He asked softly.

“Cullen… you don’t understand.”

“You’re right. I don’t.” He cut in. “But I know there must be something big for you to be so willing to toss what we have aside.”

“I’m not _willing_ to do anything.” She snapped lightly.

“I’m not asking you to be her best friend, Rayne. But I’m begging you: don’t go. I’ll be here. Leliana will be here. Skyhold is a big place, she can be easily avoided unless necessary.”

She sighed and looked away, worrying at her lower lip. “Alright. No promises that I may not kill her though.” She took a deep breath. “Guess I should just be glad that Aiden is in Denerim.” She said softly.

Cullen cleared his throat. “Speaking of Denerim…”

Rayne looked back him and gave him a rueful smile. “More wonderful news it sounds like.”

“I’m going to be going there. I will be leaving when Alec leaves for the Approach, Stroud has some leads that we need to look into.”

“And why are you going to Denerim exactly?”

He filled her in on the meeting this morning and the plan to send him as envoy.

“Oh joy.” She said dryly. She stood and ran her fingers through her hair, her frowning deepening and looking at her long locks in disgust. “Why did I ever have long hair?”

Cullen chuckled and stood. He wove his fingers through strands of her hair, feeling the soft locks. “You do look nice with it.”

“Try wearing it.”

“Fair enough.” He said with humor.

“Just promise me one thing, Cullen.”

“What’s that?”

“Try not to let your jealous streak come out.”


	75. Cullen

Two days later they were still waiting for Morrigan to arrive at Skyhold, and Cullen was getting pensive that he wouldn’t be here when she arrived.

His eyes went to Rayne and Alec talking on the other side of the War Table from him, Leliana and Josephine. She had finally cut her hair, leaving the length to fall to her shoulder blades, but she took to wearing it up in a ponytail. A small smile came to his lips as the front strands of her hair would not stay tied back and she would continuously tuck the stray strands behind her ears.

Any conversation the group had been having came to a screeching halt. He first noticed Rayne go rigid the moment a new voice interrupted her going over what little knowledge she had of the Western Approach and the Warden outposts there.

“Well, isn’t this a surprise.” Morrigan purred as she walked into the room, her eyes riveted on Rayne. “I had no idea that the Warden-Commander was with the Inquisition. You _are_ still Commander of the Grey, are you not? Or did they finally strip you of your title when you abandoned your post?”

Cullen held his breath as he watched Rayne clench her jaw and her eyes spark in anger, but she seemed to refuse to speak. Alec watched her warily and everyone seemed to be on edge waiting to see what she would do.

Morrigan, either completely oblivious to the tension now in the room or she didn’t care – Cullen figured the latter – came to Rayne’s side and looked her over with a smug smile on her face. Cullen was beginning to see why Rayne wanted nothing more than to strangle the other mage; she had barely been there a minute and he was already tired of her.

“Well?” Morrigan asked, never taking her eyes off Rayne. “Did you lose your ability to speak?”

Rayne’s eyes ticked over to the witch, she didn’t even try to hide her distain. “I guess being raised in a swamp hindered your manners. We were in the middle of a conversation.”

“Nothing of importance. Besides, we’re old friends. I would think you would love to see me again.”

Rayne didn’t say anything to that, instead she turned her attention back to the table and pointed at a location in the Approach. “Adamant is probably one of the oldest Warden outposts. Once it was a crowning glory of The Order, and housed a thousand men and griffons. Now, it has long been abandoned.”

Alec was quick to pick up on her desire to avoid Morrigan. “Do you think the Wardens could be there?”

Rayne shrugged. “Could be. Not many like to venture there with the Veil so thin. The last time anyone was there was shortly before the Mage Rebellion began.” She looked up at Cullen. “Cole was actually there. He had followed Wynne and Rhys there.”

“Ah, Wynne.” Morrigan cooed. “How is the old woman?”

Rayne closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Leliana was the one to answer. “She died during the rebellion.” She said curtly.

“No doubt defending her precious cage.” Morrigan said rolling her eyes.

“She died for her son.” Rayne snapped. “Mind your tongue. She was still our friend.”

Morrigan smiled triumphantly. “Ah, I was wondering if I was going to be able to get some kind of emotion out of you.”

“Morrigan…” Cullen warned.

But she paid him no mind. “After you tried killing me the last time we met, I was sure I would never see you again.”

“Yes,” Rayne said not looking at Morrigan. “It seems even Death doesn’t want you or your mother. One of many traits you share with her.”

Morrigan’s eyes briefly sparked in annoyance. But it quickly vanished and she smiled. “While we’re on the subject of Wardens, you talk of the architecture and ancient history. Why not inform the Inquisitor of the reason why it will have to be a Warden that kills this supposed archdemon?”

“Morrigan…” Leliana was the one to warn her this time.

“Unless we go through another ritual.” Morrigan continued. “Speaking of which… how _is_ your son? It was a boy, after all, wasn’t it? At least that is the rumor I heard.”

Cullen watched as Rayne’s hand on the tabled slowly curled into a fist. Morrigan was intentionally baiting her. As much as his own irritation at Morrigan was growing, his curiosity was growing even more. What was this about a ritual? And what did this have to do with Aiden?

Rayne’s eyes ticked over to the Witch. “I would choose my next words very carefully if I were you.” Her voice was low and calm. It was far more frightening than if she had been growling or yelling. It was a tone that held the promise of dispensing unimaginable pain or death to whoever she was speaking to.

But Morrigan wouldn’t be put off from what she saw as a victory by getting under Rayne’s skin. “I heard about the boy. Alistair had claimed him a few years back, but I have heard nothing about him since. I’m assuming he’s still with his father then?”

Cullen felt a familiar pressure in the room. The feeling of a spell about to be cast. “Rayne.” He said hesitantly.

Morrigan smiled sharply. “I have always wanted to travel to Denerim to visit dear old Alistair. See how much he’s made a mess of things there as king. Perhaps I can finally meet your son then?”

“That’s enough, Morrigan!” Alec snapped.

But it was too late.

Rayne’s eyes flaring blood red was the only warning they had before Morrigan started choking.

“Rayne, stop!” Cullen yelled and rushed around to the other side of the table.

Josephine gasped and stepped back, seeing Rayne for what she was for the first time. Leliana was just as quick to act as Cullen, rushing to Morrigan’s side as the witch fell to her knees trying to breath.

Rayne turned and finally looked down at the witch. Pure loathing and distaste layered her features, as if she was looking at one of the most vile creatures to slither across the world. Morrigan’s face was beginning to turn purple from lack of oxygen.

With no other options, Cullen grabbed Rayne, pinning her arms to her sides. She hissed in frustration and he felt power build up inside of her. With a deep breath he whispered, “I’m sorry,” into her ear before he tapped into himself until he felt the familiar rush of his own kind of magic of a Templar surge through his body and forced it out to envelope Rayne and instantly subduing any magic she had been wielding.

Rayne went rigid in his arms. “Did you… did you just _Silence_ me?” She asked in astonishment and anger.

“You were out of control.” He growled.

“How dare you! I was in perfect control!” She tried twisting and turning in his arms. “Let me go!”

Cullen gritted his teeth and tightened his grip. “You were killing her. Calm down!”

_“Fenedhis!”_ She hissed. “It’s no less than the bitch deserves.”

“Rayne…” Alec went around them to be able to look at her. “Please, calm down.” He kept his tone composed.

She stopped wriggling in Cullen’s arms but her body was still coiled like a snake ready to strike.

Alec took a step closer. “She isn’t worth it.” He turned to briefly look at Morrigan who was still on the floor, being held there by Leliana. “And as long as you are here, Morrigan, you will be respectful. Or Maker help me, I will lock you away under Templar guard. I won’t stand for you trying to pick a fight.”

Morrigan glared at them all and then finally nodded.

He turned back to Rayne. “Please Rayne. Don’t make me have to do that to you.” He said softly.

Cullen felt Rayne sag in his arms and sigh. He finally released her.

She pushed his arms away and looked down at Morrigan. “This is your only warning: you ever… _ever_ speak of my son again and no one will be able to save you.”

Cullen wasn’t sure of the look on Rayne’s face, but judging by Morrigan’s paling slightly, it wasn’t anything good.

Morrigan and Leliana slowly rose, with Leliana putting the witch at the furthest point of the table away from Rayne as possible. Not that distance would save her if Rayne decided to try again. But for the moment, Rayne was disabled of magic casting. A point she made by trying to cast a healing spell on her hand that was bleeding from where her nails had dug in.

She turned and glared up at Cullen with almost a look of betrayal in her eyes. He understood why, because he felt dirty himself. It was the first time he had ever used his Templar abilities on her, and it was not a feeling he liked.

“Why am _I_ the only one that seems to be surprised that Rayne is a blood mage?” Josephine finally spoke.

Rayne winced at the accusing tone in their ambassador’s voice and held her bleeding hand gingerly.

Leliana sighed.

“I’m more interested in this ritual.” Alec said and crossed his arms. “And what it has to do with Aiden.”

“Aiden, is it?” Morrigan said, trying to sound pleasant.

Rayne shot daggers at the witch. Cullen could tell she was beginning to regret staying.

“I’m just as curious as our Inquisitor.” Cullen said ignoring the fact that Rayne was becoming increasingly uncomfortable under all the gazes. He unrolled one of his sleeves and ripped off a piece. Gently taking Rayne’s hand he bound her wound.

“Rayne.” Leliana said softly.

“Come now, Warden-Commander.” Morrigan cooed. “Do tell them.”

“Shut up, Morrigan.” Cullen finally snapped at her. “So help me, if you say one more word, it won’t be Rayne you have to worry about.”

Rayne’s eyes darted around to everyone in the room, looking like a trapped mouse. Finally she slumped in defeat. “This is supposed to be a Warden secret.” She mumbled.

“What does Aiden have to do with the Wardens?” Cullen finally demanded.

With a sigh of fatigue Rayne went to the wall and slid down to the floor. She looked drained. She looked up at Alec, “I once told you that Wardens are connected to the darkspawn. Do you remember that?”

Alec frowned in thought. “Yes, you said it allowed the Wardens to sense and hear them.”

She nodded. “I also told you that The Joining could be lethal… Everyone assumes that Grey Wardens are immune to the taint that darkspawn carry. In truth: we’re not immune, we’re already tainted through the Joining. The Joining consists of us drinking a mixture of darkspawn and archdemon blood, as well as some other modifications that I won’t be sharing. There are some secrets I will take to my grave.”

Alec looked like he was going to be sick just thinking of that. Truthfully, Cullen felt the same. Drink darkspawn blood? Who would be mad enough to do such a thing willingly? And then the realization came to him: No one would. That was why The Joining was secret. If people knew that the Joining had the possibility to kill recruits no one would willing join the Order.

“But wait,” Alec said. “If you’re already tainted…”

Rayne looked at him with hollow eyes. “What happens to creatures that do not die from the taint?”

“They become ghouls.” Cullen whispered.

She nodded. “Wardens are condemned to the same fate. The corruption in us is simply slowed down.”

Her words from when she finally saw him after the Emerald Graves came back to him. **_I don’t want you to… see what I will eventually become._** She was slowly becoming a darkspawn. And every time she was around darkspawn increased the speed it was happening.

The realization of what Rayne was saying shined on almost everyone’s face. All except Morrigan and Leliana. Since they fought alongside Rayne during the Blight of course they already knew all this.

“Why would Wardens do that? Condemn themselves… to die.” Alec asked.

“Because during the First Blight they realized why archdemons were practically immortal. When an archdemon dies their essence jumps to the nearest tainted creature to be reborn.”  Rayne leaned her head against the wall not looking at anyone, seemingly getting lost in her own thoughts. “That’s why it has to be a Warden that kills the archdemon. A darkspawn is an empty soulless vessel… a Grey Warden is not. The essence of the archdemon travels instead to the Warden and is destroyed… and so is the Grey Warden.”

_In death, sacrifice._

“You’ll note that any Hero of a Blight has never survived the encounter. That’s why.”

“Except for you.” Cullen said softly.

“Except for me.” She sighed and then looked at Morrigan. “During the Blight I came across a spell. One from Morrigan’s mind that I had taken without her knowing. I had not known what it was at first. It wasn’t until the final battle against the archdemon and Riordan finally revealing to Alistair and I what sacrifice one of us would have to make did I realize what the ritual was for. It is old magic. A Grey Warden would conceive a child that would bear the taint, and when the archdemon was slain, its essence would seek the child.”

“Killing the child instead?” Josephine asked in shock.

Instead of Rayne answering, Morrigan did. “No. The child would absorb the essence and not perish. The archdemon is still destroyed, with no Warden dying in the process. The child would become something different: a child born with the soul of the Old God.”

Cullen’s lips parted as he now understood. Rayne had said that it was difficult for a Warden to have a child, nearly impossible. Yet she managed to get pregnant at the end of the Blight, with yet another Warden. “Aiden.” He finally said. “Aiden is that child.”

She looked up at him and finally rose. “He was.”

“And… that was why Morrigan had left.” Leliana said in awe, looking back and forth between Rayne and Morrigan. “You had taken from her something she wanted indeed. She wanted the Old God soul.”

“I had been training for years.” Morrigan hissed. “It was mine by right.”

“Get over it.” Rayne said dryly.

“Wait,” Alec said. “That means… Aiden is an Old God or has the spirit of one?”

Cullen looked at Rayne with shock.

But she didn’t respond the way he expected she would. Rayne turned to Morrigan and smiled. “No. He doesn’t. Not anymore.”

Morrigan simply blinked at her as if having a difficult time processing her words. “What do you mean: not anymore?” She snapped.

“I’ve learned a lot in the last ten years, Morrigan. Including how to remove the Old God soul from my son.” Rayne looked at Cullen. “That was what I was doing in Tevinter before I went to Kirkwall. I was looking for some way to remove the soul safely. When I found out Flemeth was tracking him after I thought I had dealt with Morrigan, that’s all I could think to do. As long as he had that spirit he was in danger.”

“And you found a way in Tevinter?’ He asked.

She shook her head. “No. After I left Tevinter I had practically given up. Nowhere I looked gave me the answers I needed. I was traveling through the Anderfels when the answers did finally come to me. By way of an ancient artifact that darkspawn were being drawn to. It was… some kind of vessel for memories of an ancient being. To this day, I still don’t know what it was exactly. But it taught me a lot.”

“How… how could you destroy that soul?!” Morrigan practically screeched.

Rayne turned to her. “Quite easily, actually.” She said dryly.

Morrigan’s face was turning red in anger. “You were so selfish that you even did the ritual and then you go and…”

“Selfish?” Rayne said harshly. “My motives had _nothing_ to do with me, witch. Unlike yourself.”

“Then why did you do it?” Cullen asked.

Rayne looked at him and then looked down. “For Alistair.” She said softly.

He looked at her in confusion.

“In the heat of battle there are no guarantees. I told myself that I would be the one to cast the final blow, to make the sacrifice. But I knew there was a strong possibility that Alistair may end up being the one through chance and circumstance. And I couldn’t have him die. I just put him on the blighted throne, Ferelden needed him.

“So, as an insurance policy, I underwent the ritual with him.” She closed her eyes. “I initially intended to… kill the child. It was what a Grey Warden would have done. _Should_ have done. But I couldn’t. He was my son.”

They were all silent, each one drinking in everything she had just revealed. It was a lot to take in.

Rayne finally looked up. “So, there you have it. A secret no one other than myself, Morrigan and Aiden knew until now. No other Grey Warden, not even Alistair knew what Aiden once was. He had assumed the child that we conceived for the ritual had died, in truth, so did I at first until Aiden started showing signs as he grew older.”

And that explained why Anders had once thought that Aiden was his from their brief romance during their time in Amaranthine and had been devastated when Rayne revealed he wasn’t.

Rayne sighed. “Well, I’m done sharing for the day.” She looked at Leliana. “I’ll leave explaining me being a blood mage to Josephine up to you.”

And without another word Rayne left.


	76. Amell

She sat at the edge of the roof of the tower, her legs drawn up to her chest with her arms encircling them to rest her chin on her knees. She overlooked the valley below, the weather was warm enough that the snow and ice below glistened, making the world look like it was crying. The wind blew the stubborn strands of hair that refused to remain tied back with the rest of her hair. The strands dancing around her head in a macabre dance.

“Are you ever planning on coming down?”

Rayne turned her head to see Cullen pulling himself through the entrance and close the door behind him before coming over to join her by her side. “I figure this is the safest place for me.” She turned back to the valley.

“Safest place?”

“No Morrigan for me to potentially kill. No judgment from Josephine for being a blood mage. No looks of shock and disgust from the rest of you. So yes. Safest place.”

“Shock I could see. But disgust?”

Her eyes briefly ticked over to him. “You didn’t see the look on your face when you found out about Aiden’s conception and what was once in him.” She looked away again.

Cullen sighed. “Disbelief would be more accurate. To even think something like you were describing could be possible… It is a lot to take in.”

Rayne remained silent. Her eyes briefly went to a white bird that flitted around the towers, occasionally diving below her sight, only to reemerge seconds later with his prize.

“If you saw any disgust in my eyes,” Cullen said softly when she refused to speak. “It was at myself.”

“You?”

“I didn’t like having to… restrain you like I did.”

Rayne sighed and finally raised her head and looked and him. “It was the right thing to do.” She admitted. “I let my anger get the best of me.”

He fidgeted. “Can’t blame you. She was intentionally baiting you into doing something. I just don’t think she was expecting you to outright attack her in front of everyone. And just because it was right for me do to so, doesn’t mean I like it.” He held her gaze. “I’ve never done that to you before.”

“I know. Hopefully it will be the last time.” She said with a half-smile in an attempt to make him feel better.

He attempted a smile but it was one that didn’t reach his eyes.

She mentally sighed and realized she wouldn’t be able to help him with that. So, instead she moved away from that conversation. “How did Josephine take the news of my magical practices?”

A look of gratitude passed over his eyes. “Better than expected, truthfully. Just don’t expect her to be a hundred percent comfortable with being alone with you.”

“Well, she wasn’t comfortable around me to begin with.” She said lightly and then hummed in thought. “Okay, maybe uncomfortable isn’t the right word. She just thought I was a lost cause and we butt heads too often on politics.”

“On politics? You?” Cullen said with a laugh.

“Yes, and my ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude towards it.” She leaned back using her hands and arms to brace herself from falling backwards. “Democracy is not my specialty.”

“I never would have guessed.” He said sarcastically.

“When do you leave for Denerim?”

“Tomorrow.” Cullen said looking out into the valley. “I wanted to wait until the Inquisitor left for the Approach, but he won’t be making a direct route. He will be stopping in the Dales to help with some clean up there for Gaspard and something having to do with Solas. That gives me time to get to Denerim, make the arrangements for the people King Alistair will hopefully give us and send them out. It should allow them to arrive to help the Inquisitor. I’m starting to question whether I should go though.”

Rayne frowned. “Why?”

He looked at her. “And leave you alone with Morrigan?”

“As you so dubiously pointed out: Skyhold is a big place and I won’t be alone.”

He sighed. “I just didn’t fully comprehend how much… distain was between the two of you.”

“That’s one way of putting it.” She said dryly. She tilted her head and finally scooted over to be right next to him, their hips pressing together and lay her head on his arm. He responded by laying his head on top of hers. “I’ll be fine. Morrigan… will be alive when you return.”

Cullen’s body shook slightly as he chuckled. “And hopefully whole?”

Rayne smiled. “No promises.” She said lightly.

She felt him shake his head and she could practically see the smile of amusement and love on his face for the head strong woman in his life. He took a deep breath, “Rayne, why didn’t you ever tell me about Aiden?”

“Because it involved a Grey Warden secret. I told you…”

He sighed and lifted his head from hers. “Right.” His voice had a hard tone.

She sighed in defeat and raised herself from him. “Cullen, you said you understood.” She said softly.

“I did… do. It’s just…” He paused and his jaw clenched and unclenched. “It’s Aiden.” He turned and looked at her.

“Does… This change how you feel about him?” She asked in surprise.

“What?” His eyes widened. “No. Never.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he reopened them. “It’s just…” He sighed.

“You worry what having that Old God soul in him may have done.” She finished.

He nodded.

“It was removed cleanly.” Rayne assured him. “I promise.”

“Does he know?”

She nodded. “Of course. He remembers a time when he had once been able to cast magic, and then all of the sudden that ability was gone. I told him why.”

Cullen nodded and then shifted uncomfortably.

Rayne rolled her eyes. “What else?”

Cullen studied her long and hard before speaking. “The ability you gained to remove the soul.”

“What about it?”

“You said it was memories. But you don’t know who or what from.”

“Because I don’t.” She said hesitantly.

“Were they just memories?”

“As opposed to…?”

“A spirit.”

“You think I was possessed by a spirit?”

He shrugged. “Would that be so hard to believe?”

“Uh… yes. A spirit cannot possess the unwilling. And I never gave anything my consent.”

“No?” Cullen tilted his head. “Couldn’t your desire to cure Aiden been a consent? Something tells me you would have been willing to do anything to remove that Old God soul.”

Rayne blinked a few times in thought. And then hummed. “Still doubt it. But, you make a fair point.” She frowned. “Why would you think that anyway?”

“The spirit that Solas and I encountered in the Fade, the one that protected you. We still don’t know why it had such an interest in you.”

“And you think that spirit has something to do with the memories I received.” She finished.

Cullen nodded.

“Like I said: I never knew what or who the memories had once belonged to. They may very well be connected to this spirit. I don’t know. Unlike you, I haven’t met this spirit, so I haven’t exactly been able to have a conversation with it.”

He gave her a lopsided smile. “Fair enough.” His smile fell. “I just don’t like the thought that you may be possessed.”

Rayne snorted. “If I am, the spirit is doing a shitty job of keeping me alive.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Cullen said with a laugh.

* * *

 

She watched in the courtyard as Cullen made his way back to his tower where no doubt messengers were waiting to assault him with reports. She knew she should probably go back to her own office, Andraste only knew what or who was waiting for her there.

Rayne sighed at the thought at being confined in that room. For all her griping during the Blight and everything that happened afterwards, she missed traveling. Finally leaving the Circle all those years ago had made her see what the Tower was: a gilded cage. Pretty, but a cage none-the-less.

It was in moments like these that she had to thank Duncan for everything he gave her. If it wasn’t for him she never would have traveled the world, met Alistair who gave her the greatest gift of her life, she wouldn’t have finally been reunited with any of her family and she wouldn’t be here with the man she loved.

She was pulled out of her thoughts at the sound of Cole’s panicked voice as he and Alec came out of the tavern. Cole looked like he was fleeing and Alec giving chase.

“… You think you can hide from me forever?” Cole moaned holding his head.

Rayne frowned and ran to them.

Hearing her coming, Alec looked up and relief shined in his eyes.

“What’s going on?” Rayne asked, her eyes darting back and forth between the two.

Alec opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted by Cole. “Come out and die like a man!”

“Cole?” Rayne asked cautiously.

Alec shook his head. “When I mentioned we would be leaving for the Exalted Plains in a few days he was fine, but when I mentioned the Approach…”

“We have to hide.” Cole whispered, his eyes clamped shut as if he could force whatever was wrong with him away.

Rayne worried about what may be wrong with him. And then it came to her. She looked at Alec. “Adamant.” She said softly.

The same realization that came to her now shined in Alec’s eyes and he looked at Cole with understanding. Like Rayne, Cole had told Alec what had transpired at Adamant when he went with Rhys and Wynne. Of the nightmares that had snared his friends, and of the nightmare that captured him. The memory of the real Cole’s childhood when his father had killed his mother and had been hunting the small boy to kill him too for being a mage.

Rayne hesitantly placed a gentle hand on Cole’s shoulder. His body flinched under her touch, but he did not pull away. “Cole…” She said soothingly.

He looked up at her looking far younger than he should. His pale blue eyes looked hallow.

An idea came to Rayne’s mind and she looked at Alec with a smile. “Actually, Inquisitor, I was hoping to talk to you about him.”

Alec looked at her in confusion.

“Seeing as Cullen will be leaving tomorrow, I was hoping that maybe Cole could stay behind with me.” She turned to Cole and smiled. “To keep me company while I’m all alone here. That is… if Cole would like to?”

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Alec’s eyes glean in amusement. “It would be fine with me. We’ll have plenty of people in the Approach. How about it Cole? Would you like to stay here with Rayne?”

Cole lowered his hands from his head and nodded it enthusiastically. “Yes. I would like that very much.”

Alec visibly showed his relief and gratitude with Rayne’s quick thinking. He had no desire to cause Cole undue pain by taking him so close to Adamant. “Very well. I’ll be sure to let Leliana know.” He nodded his thanks to Rayne and left the two alone.

Rayne looked at Cole who was watching Alec leave. “Are you alright?” She finally asked.

Cole looked at her, his face and eyes back to normal as if nothing happened. “Yes.”

She smiled. “Good.” She tilted her head. “You know, you can just tell the Inquisitor or me when something is wrong or bothering you. Like going to the Approach.”

He looked at her as if that was a foreign concept. “But… I’m supposed to be helping. Helping the hurt. Helping kill people that need to die.”

“Yes, but what about when you’re hurting?”

He simply stared at her in confusion.

Rayne shook her head and motioned to him, “walk with me.” She began her walk back to the main hall and to her office, Cole following behind like the shadow he was. “You’re right. You came here to help. But who helps you when you’re hurting?”

“No one.” Cole said. “How could they help? They can’t feel the pain like I can.”

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, slowing down her pace for him to be beside her. “Perhaps not. But people have been helping others without being able to feel the hurt and pain for… ever. They talk to one another. It’s what friends do.”

Cole looked up at her, his eyes bright at the idea.

She smiled warmly and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, dropping her head below his hat as they continued to walk. “And that is what Alec is to you. And I am, too. And I hope that you feel the same about us.”

He gave her a small smile, but his eyes shined. “Friends.”

Rayne nudged his head with hers. “Friends.”


	77. Cullen

His eyes were still closed as he slowly pulled himself out of his slumber. He took a deep breath allowing the aroma of bacon to drift into his nose. Cullen felt the warmth of the sun on his face mingled with a gentle warm breeze caressing him like a lover cross his cheek trying to help him awaken.

Finally he slowly opened his eyes; they fell on the log wall across from him with a window opened and the curtains fluttering gently. A smile came to his face as the soft sounds of a child’s laughter drifted in with the wind.

With a low moan of protest of leaving his cozy bed, he finally rose and sat on the edge of the bed, his toes sunk into the furred rug on his side of the bed so he wasn’t met with the shock of cold stone floor. Cullen looked around the simple room. His bed was a giant king size bed that easily allowed two people to sleep comfortably. A dark oak table was at the other end with a wash basin and clean towels sitting next to it, and above was a polished mirror.

Stretching out his sore muscles, he got to his feet and went to the basin. He splashed cold water onto his face, his skin pebbled as he shivered from the contact. He watched in the mirror as water trailed down his face that was dark with stubble. He rubbed a hand through his unruly curls and over the gruff on his cheek. He contemplated shaving and styling back his hair, but decided against it, he had the urge to simply go outside to take in the sunny morning.

Cullen grabbed his simple cloth shirt that was hanging over the back of a chair and exited the room.

He pulled the shirt over his head, allowing his feet to carry him through the house on their own. They knew their way through. The smell of bacon was stronger.

“Cullen, are you awake?” A female voice called from deeper in the house, presumably the kitchen.

He grumbled to himself as his shirt was being stubborn, not wanting to be pulled over his head properly. “I am.” He called back.

“Breakfast is nearly finished.”

With a grunt he finally pulled his shirt on and found himself at the front door. “I’ll be outside. Clear away the rest of these cobwebs in my head.”

He heard her sweet laughter. “Go on, then.”

Cullen pulled open the door, blinking rapidly as he was blinded by the sun as his bare feet walked over the wooden porch. He went to the edge and leaned again one of the columns and smiled as he looked over the sparkling lake where a small boy played.

“Here.” A voice said at his arm. “I thought you would like something to help you wake up.”

Cullen turned and beamed a smile at the woman beside him.

Rayne looked up at him, her blue eyes shined as brightly as the lake water. Her black hair was pulled up in a messy bun.

He gently took the cup of hot tea from her hands. “Thank you, love.”

She smiled at him and turned her attention to the lake as Aiden’s laughter drifted to him. She shook her head. “I always tell him not to go out there before he eats.”

He chuckled and wrapped an arm around her waist. “He’s too rebellious. Just like his mother.” His eyes dropped down. “Let’s hope this one takes after me.”

Rayne giggled as he played fingers over her swollen belly. “And you’re not rebellious?”

He looked up at her and gave her an impish smile. “Compared to you I’m practically a Saint.”

She shook her head in amusement and slowly pulled away from him to go down the steps and down to the lake.

Cullen watched her go as he set his steaming cup on the railing. He marveled at the life they had built together. Away from the Inquisition, politics, Circles… all of it. Just him, Rayne, Aiden and the soon to be child whom Rayne insisted was going to be a boy. They were still debating over names.

As Rayne reached the shore and called out to Aiden a shadow passed over them.

Cullen frowned and looked skyward. The sun was starting to be blotted out by dark angry clouds. _A storm? Coming on this quickly?_ He thought to himself. “Rayne…” He called.

But she didn’t seem to hear him. She waited below with her hands on her hips as Aiden slowly swam to shore. Both seemed unaware of the shift in weather.

He more felt than heard the slow rumble as the darkness spreading picked up speed. Off in the distance he saw a brilliant flash of white lightening course through the dark sky. Panic seized him as Aiden still hadn’t made it to shore, the boy was taking his time not wanting to leave the water.

 _What is wrong with him?_ Cullen growled to himself as he went down the stairs and raced to the shore.

By the time he made it, Aiden finally was out of the water standing in front of his mother. “But it’s such a nice day.” He said, his face was hidden to Cullen but he could picture the pout.

“It was.” Cullen said, still approaching. His eyes went back to the bruising sky.

“It still is.” Rayne said.

Cullen halted at the sound of her voice. It was cold, calculating. His eyes went back to her; she was still turned away from him and looking off into the distance as lightening lit up the sky, this time it was closer. He took note of the hand she had on Aiden’s shoulder, it looked almost possessive as opposed to warm and caring.

“Rayne…” He said hesitantly.

She slowly turned to him.

Cullen gasped and took an involuntary step back. Her eyes were bright gold with a blood red ring around the outside.

A sharp malicious smirk cut into her now sharp features. “What’s wrong, my love?”

“No.” His eyes went to Aiden behind her. “Aiden, come to me. Now.” He barked.

The boy slowly moved around Rayne to her side. Cullen’s stomach dropped and he felt like he was going to be sick. Aiden’s once blue eyes were now pale as milk to match his now grey skin that reminded him horribly of darkspawn flesh and the smile on his face was identical to his mother’s.

“Nonono!” Cullen said in disbelief still backing away. “No! You removed that soul!”

Rayne tilted her head. “Did you seriously think I would be foolish enough to destroy such an asset?” She reached a hand out to Cullen, thunder rolled over them all. “Come, my love. You and I have always been stronger together. Join us.”

“Yes, Cullen.” Aiden said turned and laid a possessive hand on his mother’s belly. “My brother wants you to come, too.”

Cullen shook his head. He spun around and ran back up the hill to their home that looked darker than it had before. It looked sinister and treacherous. But he knew his weapon was inside.

“Cullen…” Rayne called, attempting to sound soothing and inviting. Instead it sounded hollow and painful to his ears.

He lost his footing and stumbled. But he was quick to regain himself and run. He heard the sound of pounding feet behind him. They were giving chase, all the while calling to him that they could be together, nothing would ever tear them apart.

When he reached the steps on the porch he grabbed the railing, causing him to hit the cup that Rayne had given him. He shrank back from the flying glass as the cup broke, revealing not tea inside but blood.

A hand grabbed his ankle.

Cullen looked down at Aiden. “Please, _Bae._ ” He pleaded, his hand like a vice around Cullen’s ankle.

Swallowing down the bile in his throat and with pain in his heart, he kick out, hitting Aiden in the shoulder and sending his small body flying backwards. Cullen didn’t wait, he rushed through the opened door and raced through the house.

 _“Vhenan.”_ Rayne called still giving chase. This time her voice sounded as it once had. Soft and gentle. But he knew it was naught but a ruse. “Come, love.”

He slid into the bedroom and slammed the door shut behind him.

Rayne ran into the door, causing it to jump and she began pounding on the heavy oak door screaming at him to let her in.

Cullen leaned against the door to keep her out. He closed his eyes as he felt every hit on the door. _This can’t be happening!_ He screamed inside his head.

He didn’t know how long he stood like that. But abruptly the pounding stopped. Cullen didn’t move except for slowly opening his eyes. He listened but heard nothing except for the rain that he hadn’t heard start outside.

His eyes fell on his sword that was leaning against a far desk. The short distance seemed like miles in that moment. Steeling himself and calming his racing heart, he pushed off the door.

The moment he left it the door flew open.

Cullen felt a spell hit him between his shoulder blades. He cried out as a sharp pain erupted in his back that caused him to lurch forward and fall to the floor. He didn’t even have time to register his impact onto the stone when a weight crushed him from behind.

A cold hand snaked around his throat and pulled his head off the floor. “Don’t you love me anymore, _Vhenan?”_ Rayne hissed into his ear, her voice feeling like knives.

He shut his eyes tight trying to will this all away.

Her hand slid from his neck and up to his cheek. Oddly, her hand felt soft and warm, tender and loving. “Cullen,” She said softly, her voice calm yet laced with worry. “Come to me, _Vhenan.”_

He grit his teeth. “Stop it!” He yelled and rolled, apparently taking her off guard.

He opened his eyes and found his hands at her throat choking the life from her.

Rayne’s eyes were now as big as plates in fear. And they were… blue? No, this was some kind of trick. Her fingers, warm and soft, were trying to pry his hands off her throat.

“You will not have me, demon!” He yelled, his voice cracked in emotion. He had to keep telling himself that this really wasn’t Rayne, that this was simply something copying her face to haunt his dreams.

“Cul—Cullen.” She gasped out. “Pl…”

His grip tightened. He felt her trachea being crushed in his vice, her face turning red and blue.

“Cul… len.” She managed one last time.

His eyes fell on hers and he was startled by her eyes shining brilliantly. But not with power that she could easily use to get him off of her, but with tears that were escaping her eyes and trailing down her cheeks into her messy hair from sleep.

Cullen blinked in confusion as his surroundings came to him. How did they end up on a bed? The walls… when did they change to stone? He was bare chested, wearing nothing more than his sleeping pants. He straddled Rayne wearing her long willowy sleeping shirt.

 _I’m not at the cottage,_ He thought to himself. _I’m back at Skyhold. And this is…_

His hand flew from Rayne’s neck and he fell backwards as if he had been burned. “Maker forgive me.” He said hoarsely as full comprehension of what he was doing… what he had nearly done…

Rayne sat up and bent over the side of the bed holding her throat and coughing violently.

Cullen began to shake. He wanted nothing more than to go to her to make sure she was alright. But his body wouldn’t move. Because he knew… she wasn’t alright. She was just being strangled by the man who claimed to love her because of one of his lyrium withdrawn nightmares.

He couldn’t stand it any longer. He couldn’t stand to see what he had done to her, he could see the red imprint of where his hands had dug into her flesh. He jumped out of the bed as if it was about to catch fire and went for the door.

“Cullen.” Rayne rasped out, her injured throat not allowing anything more.

He shook his head violently, he couldn’t turn back to her. “Forgive me.” He croaked. He quickly grabbed his boots and bolted from the bedroom and down the stairs. He struggled to keep from toppling down them as he fought to control his breathing and his cracking heart.

 _Maker, what have I done?_ He thought in dismay. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs only long enough to tug on his boots before running out into the empty hall and out into the courtyard.

He was breathing heavily from his flooding emotions. His eyes scanned all around him and he found it too confining. He had to get out!

Without thinking he raced for the gate. Two guards were posted there, and had he been in his right mind, Cullen would have noted that they looked about to fall asleep and may have scolded them for being so lax. Instead he raced by without a word.

“Commander?” He heard one call in bewilderment.

But he didn’t stop. He had to get away. He briefly entertained the thought of jumping from the bridge. It was no less than what he deserved for what he had just done. He shook such thoughts from his mind and just ran, letting his feet lead the way since his mind was too muddled to be of any use.

It had been so long since he had one of his bad nightmares that he had thought he was finally overcoming the withdrawal. He would still get his headaches, that was true, but no nightmares since…

 _Since Rayne and I started our relationship._ Cullen thought. He had once entertained the idea that perhaps it was her presence at night that allowed him to sleep. But no. He now realized that it was because usually he went to bed utterly exhausted after their time together that it put him in a dreamless sleep. This night they had simply gone to sleep since Cullen needed to be well rested for the start of his journey in the morning.

At some point he stumbled over rock and nearly fell, barely catching himself on a stone outcropping. Cullen simply stood there breathing heavily from his run; he felt the sweat on his bare chest and back, the cool night air causing him to shiver. He wasn’t sure how long he had been running until he looked up and found himself at the entrance of a familiar cave.

Taking one last deep breath in an attempt to calm his racing heart, he entered the dark cave. It was full of ghost mushroom, casting the dark tunnel with an eerie blue-green glow to guide his way. But he had been here enough that he no longer needed their aid. Not even Rayne knew about this place. He came here all the time when they didn’t spend their nights together and before they began their relationship. Nights when his headaches were unbearable and his nightmares would not cease.

At the end of the tunnel it opened up into a cavern that was a crossroads. Three tunnels at the other end. The one on the left he knew led to a dead end. The middle led up to the top of the mountain. And the right led deeper into the bowels of the mountain. He chose the right.

Cullen didn’t have long to go to hear the familiar crashing of water.

When he entered the huge cavern it took his eyes a few moments to adjust to the light due to the abundance of ghost mushroom illuminating the area. His eyes fell on the end of the cavern to the waterfall that cascaded down the side into a giant pool of water which led into a stream that led out into the mountains. He went to the water’s edge that turned from stone to moss and grass, sprinkled with mushrooms and sat heavily on the cavern floor.

Cullen drew his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his knees and laid his forehead on them, closing his eyes to the visual of his hands around Rayne’s neck and her face turning blue as he strangled the life from her.

Time slipped by, the pounding of his racing heart subsided to be replaced by heartache and pain. His mind was gloom and darkness, instead of racing and chaotic. And as his mind slipped deeper into despair with it came the start of a headache.

It started off in the back of his skull and slowly crawled its way up and forward until it reached behind his eyes. The pain intensified, clawing at the back of his eyes making them feel like they were about to burst and making him feel sick to his stomach.

Cullen groaned as the pain persisted and grew. He lifted his head and squinted at the waterfall whose usual crash of water was soothing. But tonight just added to his pain. As his eyes went to the falls and urge overtook him.

With a grunt, he kicked off his boots and stood to slip out of his sleeping pants. When he was naked in the blue-green light he went to the water and stared down into the inky black depths. To him it was like looking into his own soul of pain.

The shock of cool water as he slipped one foot in went up his body. Bracing himself, he took the next step. By the time he was waist deep the cold no longer bothered him and he waded out to the waterfall. He studied the crashing waves and froths a heartbeat before he plunged his head and body underneath the torrent of water and continued moving until he was met with the rock wall behind the falls.

Cullen braced his hands against the stone that was smooth from all the years of constant polishing of the water crashing on it. He closed his eyes allowing the cold to enter his body and more importantly his head. The longer he was submerged the more his headache subsided. He breathed a sigh of relief as it receded to a dull ache.

His mind went back to the nightmare and his actions. It had been a long time since a nightmare gripped him so vividly that he acted out. He guessed with that long absence of nightmares in general it must have made them want to come back with a vengeance. It was the first time Rayne had been witness to one of his nightmares. It was one of the reasons why he never fought harder for them to spend nights sleeping together when their relationship was merely about sex. He didn’t want her to ever see that part of him. It was only due to their absence that he was eager to move into her room permanently.

He leaned his forehead against the polished rock. What was he going to do? The pain in his head was nothing compared to the pain in his chest at the thought of what he no doubt lost tonight.

A small sigh escaped him as he felt soft hands glide over his back from his shoulders going down. “Rayne.” His voice pained. What was she doing here? She should want nothing to do with him after what he had done.

But her hands were loving in their caress as they slid over his wet skin. He felt her body press against his and her head lay between his shoulder blades and gave him a ghost of kiss. _“Vhenan.”_ She said softly as she glided her hands around his middle and his chest to hold onto him.

His voice caught in his throat and he felt the tears press behind his closed eyes. He brought one of his hands to hers to hold, trying to control his from shaking. They stood there for a long time, Rayne simply holding onto him. That one simple gesture spoke legions to him.

“I’m sorry.” He finally said in a cracked whisper. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” She whispered back and tightened her hold on him.

He shook his head. “I nearly… I almost…” His throat tightened, he couldn’t even bring himself to say it.

“Ah, _Vhenan.”_ He felt her pull away from him, but she kept one hand on him as she moved around. He felt the top of her wet hair as she ducked under his arm that was still braced against the stone. There wasn’t much space between him and the wall, causing her to press tightly against him. He felt her hands cup his face. “Cullen.”

He simply shook his head unable to look at her.

“Cullen,” she said more forcefully but not unkind. “Look at me.”

With a sigh of defeat he slowly opened his eyes. Rayne’s hair was plastered to her head and rivulets of water streamed down her face like tears, which seemed appropriate for the look of pain in her eyes. But it wasn’t pain for herself, it was for him and the pain he was putting himself in and what the withdrawal did to him. And with the pain was such a deep compassion and understanding that it made his chest clench. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve _her._

His knees gave out under him and he crumbled, putting the water around his neck as he bowed his head.

Rayne’s hands ran through his hair. “You are not to blame.” She said softly. “Do you understand me?”

Cullen’s body began to shake from trying to hold back tears that he didn’t want to come as her hands wrapped around the back of his head. But he couldn’t stop it any longer. He reached out and grabbed Rayne around her waist and pulled her to him and buried his face into her abdomen and finally let the tears come.

Not often did he cry. It seemed like a weakness to him. And he had enough of that. And now, here he was, weeping while being held tightly by the woman he loved more than anyone else in this world. The release of remorse, pain, and relief just poured out of him. All the while Rayne said soothing words to him and ran her hand over his head.

 _Thank the Maker for her._ Cullen thought to himself as his well of tears dried. _I don’t deserve her. But I will love her until my dying breath._

“Come on.” Rayne said when she felt he was calmed down.

He tilted his head to look at her.

She gave him a warm, loving smile and took his hand encouraging him to stand.

Cullen did as she bid, wincing from kneeling for so long. He looked down at her and drank in her blue eyes that looked darker in this lighting. He brought his free hand to her face and cupped it, rubbing the pad of his thumb on her cheek.

“I’m sorry.”

She shook her head and leaned her face into his hand. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m just sorry you felt you had to run.”

He looked away. “What I did…”

“Don’t.” She cut in.

He looked back at her and the determined look on her face.

“You need to stop punishing yourself, Cullen. This was not your fault.” She paused and tilted her head. “And that isn’t the only thing you need to stop punishing yourself for.”

He knew what she meant. His guilt over the Tower and what he said and tried to make her do. Ten years and he still hadn’t let go. But she was right, he needed to. So long as he held onto that guilt he would always be anchored in the past.

The touch of her fingers on his cheek brought him out of his thoughts. “I love you, Cullen. I want to be there for you.” She searched his eyes. “Let me be there for you. You don’t have to do this alone.”

“You can’t help with the nightmares, Rayne.” He said weakly.

She smiled and led him out of the falls and back out to the shore. She took him to the patch of grass that their clothing was piled and sat down. He sat beside her and she ran her fingers through his hair pushing it back away from his face. “You’d be surprised how much I can help.”

She held her hand at the side of his head and he saw a warm silver glow. Cullen closed his eyes as he felt the cool, soothing sensation from her spell flow through his skull, eliminating the last vestiges of his headache. “I now know the signs of your nightmares.” She said softly as she continued her work. “And I can help. I promise, Cullen, if you’ll let me, I’ll be there.”

Cullen’s head sagged as the last of the pain left him and fatigue replaced it. He hadn’t realized it until his head gently landed on what felt like her shoulder. Rayne wrapped her arm around him as best as she could, given their size difference, and gently led his body with hers to lay down. When they were both sprawled out on the grass he nuzzled as close as he could to her body to allow their body heat to warm them and nestle his face into the soft flesh above her breast and one arm to wrap around her middle.

“We shouldn’t stay here.” He said in mild protest, even as he felt the tugs of the Fade trying to pull him into sleep.

Rayne gently hushed him and stroked his head gently. “Don’t worry. I’ll be here.”

Cullen’s body relaxed into hers and a sigh of contentment escaped him as he heard her begin to hum a familiar song before falling asleep.

* * *

 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with?” She asked again for the dozenth time.

Cullen finished tying his vambraces and looked at Rayne and smiled. “As much as it pains me to leave you, I think it wisest for you to stay.”

Her eyebrows screwed together displaying her displeasure.

He shook his head and wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. “I’ll be fine.” He said as he pressed his forehead against hers.

She snorted. “Who says I’m worried about you? I’m worried about staying here alone with Morrigan.”

He chuckled and was grateful for her attempt to not look like she wanted to watch over him. “I’m sure you’ll be fine. You’ll have Cole to keep you busy I’m sure.” He removed his head from hers and cupped her face. “I love you.”

She smiled and leaned into one of his hands. “And I love you.”

They pulled apart as Dennett brought over his saddled horse. “Here he is. Ready and eager to get going.”

Cullen took the reins from the Horse-master. “Thank you.” He turned back to Rayne. “I should get going. I’m losing daylight, and I want to be down the mountain before nightfall.”

She smiled. “I might be able to help with that.”

He tilted his head as she went over to his horse and began stroking his snout and whispering soothing words in elven to him. “Take my shoulder.” She said to Cullen.

Perplexed, he complied. The moment his hand was on her shoulder he felt magic surge through him from her and the world around him constricted… and then popped like a bubble.

Cullen gasped and staggered backwards as the magic left him. He jerked around looking at his surroundings. They were no longer in Skyhold’s courtyard. In fact, they weren’t even in the Frostbacks any longer, they were miles behind them. If he had to hazard a guess, he would guess they were between Redcliffe and Lothering.

“How…” He stammered and looked at her as she continued to talk to the horse. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

Rayne finally turned and smiled. “A simple teleportation. As long as I know the area I want to go, I can cast that spell and be there within moments.”

He tilted his head in thought. “Does that mean you could have just taken us directly to Denerim?”

She shook her head. “No. It’s been far too long since I’ve been to the capital, and it’s no doubt changed since my last visit because of the archdemon attack. I have to know the area well to travel there safely.” She smirked. “Last thing I want to do is end up inside a wall or mountain.”

The thought of that sent a shiver through him and he looked around. “Well, this will make my trip shorter.” He turned back to her. “Thank you.”

“Completely selfish,” she said lightly. “The quicker you get to Denerim the quicker you can come back to me.”

“Then I should go.” He reached into his pocket. “But, before I do.” Cullen took her hand and pressed an object into it.

Rayne frowned in confusion and opened her hand when he released it. In the palm of her hand was a silver coin slightly worn from years in his pocket. She looked up at him, “what is this?”

“My brother gave me that the day I left for Templar training.” He chuckled. “It just happened to be in his pocket, but he said it was for luck.” He studied the coin and the carved face of the woman. “Templars are not supposed to carry such things. Our _faith_ should see us through.”

Rayne studied the coin and rubbed her thumb over it. A small smile came to her face before she looked back at him. “A little luck doesn’t hurt, every now and then.”

He returned her smile. “I suppose not.” He said softly before his smile faltered. “I should have died during the Blight. Or at Kirkwall, or Haven. Take your pick.” He took her hand. “And yet I made it here.”

Rayne’s face softened.

“Humor me.” He said as he closed her hand around the coin.

“I’ll keep it safe.” She said softly.

He had nothing more to say, so he simply drew her into his embrace and kissed her. It was long and warm, he never wanted to leave it. But he reminded himself that he was simply going to Denerim, he wouldn’t be away from her long.

Finally with a sigh, he released her and went to his horse before his resolve faltered and asked her to come.

Rayne looked up at him as he mounted the horse. “Be safe.”

“The roads are not as bad as they once were.” He said lightly.

She smirked. “I wasn’t talking about the roads.”

He smiled sheepishly. “Don’t worry, I promise to be on my best behavior with the King.” With that he gently kicked the sides of the horse and wheeled it around.

He only went a short distance before he stopped and turned in the saddle.

Cullen couldn’t make out the look on Rayne’s face, but he could feel the smile as she raised a hand in farewell. And then she faded away, no doubt traveling back to Skyhold.


	78. Amell

She stretched as she walked through the main hall. It had been three days since Cullen’s departure and Alec had left this morning for the Exalted Plains. But even with him gone, along with the rest of his companions, the hall was bustling with activity as more people arrived by the day to meet the famed Inquisitor who put Gaspard on the throne.

And Rayne had no doubt that some of them may have even been assassins. So far there were no attacks, but she knew that wouldn’t last forever. Whether it be someone from Corypheus, Samson or another enemy made through whatever allegiances Alec made, someone would eventually come for him in the heart of the Inquisition.

Thinking about assassins, Rayne thought about Zevran whom she hadn’t seen in years but was constantly writing her. Perhaps she could ask him to keep an ear to the ground for her?

It was late in the afternoon and she needed a break from the seemingly constant stream of messengers coming to and from her office, so she headed to the garden with sketchbook in hand. She had taken it upon herself to also see to some of Cullen’s tasks while he was gone. There was some that she would leave for him, since he had a better understanding of the troop movements than she did, but she could handle smaller matters.

She blinked rapidly allowing her eyes to adjust to the blinding sun as she pushed open the door leading to the gardens. Around the area gardeners and carpenters worked diligently to expand on the herb garden that Alec insisted be made bigger. The Inquisition was growing and they needed more herbs for the sick and injured. Even though his reasoning was sound, Mother Giselle was disappointed that her petition to turn the garden into a bigger Chantry area for the faithful was denied for the herb garden. But he did agree to work on the current smaller Chantry, but had made sure the Mother understood that priorities on the essentials were first.

Seeing all the workers, Rayne decided instead of drawing she would help. She placed her book on a stone bench nearby, rolled up her sleeves and then went to join a few workers that were on their knees planting some herbs in prepared soil.

Rayne worked silently with a smile on her face as she listened to gossip and stories being told around her. She took a keen interest in listening to the elderly women not far from where she was working in their friendly bickering over random subjects.

Here working with everyone else, she wasn’t a Captain in the Inquisition, the Hero of Ferelden or even a Grey Warden or mage. Here, she was just another helping hand. For hours she stayed knelt in the dirt working with her hands, until a shadow came and blocked the dwindling sun.

She frowned and looked up at a surprising person.

It was a small boy, about the same age as Aiden was if she had to guess. He was lanky with tanned skin. His hair was pitch black and eyes a warm amber. And he was most definitely a mage. Rayne studied him closely, just as he studied her. There was something about him that was very familiar.

Finally she smiled and sat up straighter as she wiped the sweat from her forehead. “Well, you’re a surprise. Not many children here at Skyhold.”

He tilted his head. “I’m the only one.”

“At present. But you haven’t been the only one.” She stood and brushed off her pants.

“Mother never said the Warden Commander was a mage.”

Rayne stopped what she was doing and looked at him. “Oh? And how did you know I am the Warden Commander? You’re far too young to have been around for all that.”

“Mother told me about you.”

“And who might your mother be?”

Before he could answer, another figure came up behind him.

“Bothering the Commander, Keiran?” Morrigan asked looking down at the boy.

Keiran looked up at her. “Of course not. You never told me she was a mage, Mother.”

The annoyance Rayne had was replaced quickly with surprise. “Mother?” She said shocked before she could stop herself.

Morrigan’s eyes ticked briefly to her and then back to her son. “It was unimportant. And it’s time for your studies, young man.”

Keiran sighed heavily.

Moriggan gave him a nudge.

He cast one final look at Rayne before going off to wherever he needed.

Rayne and Morrigan watched him go. The more Rayne studied him the more she saw his mother’s features. But she saw more of whomever his father was… features she recognized… including the warm amber eyes.

Her eyes grew as she now saw it. And her mind was thrown back to when she ran into Alistair again in Kirkwall after nearly seven years.

**_“When you first left I thought ‘she is simply off on Warden business in Amaranthine. I’ll hear from her soon.’ But then time went by and you never did. And then you came back to Denerim… and only for that one night…”_ **

**_“What are you talking about? I haven’t been back to Denerim since I left for Amaranthine.”_ **

**_Alistair frowned at her. “No, you came back a couple months after you left. It was only for the one night. Perhaps you don’t remember?”_ **

Rayne had simply written it off that it was his wishful thinking getting times mixed up and had not looked into it. Now, she realized she should have looked into it.

“It was you.” She said in a shocked and angry whisper.

Morrigan looked at her out of the corner of her eye.

Rayne shook her head in disgust. “Are you so vindictive… so malicious that you would stoop so low as to impersonate me?”

Morrigan tried to keep her face passive. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Rayne growled and closed the gap between them to shove her face into the witch’s. “You don’t think I don’t _see_ it?” She hissed. “He looks like his father. I would know. Remember, I bedded him for almost a year.”

She didn’t add in that the reason Keiran looked so familiar was because he looked close to a dark copy of Aiden. Keiran was dark haired, Aiden gold. Keiran had gold eyes, Aiden blue. But their features were so close there was no denying they shared a father, since both boys took after him.

Morrigan winced and looked around. She motioned with her head to an empty room that hadn’t been repaired yet. Once they were inside, Morrigan shut the door behind them.

“So tell me,” Rayne said crossing her arms. “Did you do this to have a way of getting the Ferelden throne?”

“Of course not!” Morrigan snapped and turned to her. Seeing Rayne’s glare made her sigh. “You were right to begin with. Initially I had gone to Alistair as you out of spite. You had taken something from me, so I went after the one thing that I knew meant a great deal to you. I intended to later reveal to both of you what had happened, but you never returned. And then there was Keiran…”

Rayne narrowed her eyes. “You weren’t expecting to end up pregnant with his child, that wasn’t part of your plan.”

“No.” Morrigan frowned. “Seems our Warden King is more fertile than I gave him credit for. And then after having Keiran… we just went on our way. No one knows who is father is. Not even Keiran.”

Rayne raised an eyebrow. “And what have you told him about his father?”

Morrigan hesitated and shifted her feet before answering. “That he was a hero, a fine warrior.”

“How very… kind of you.” Rayne didn’t miss the irony that was what she had told Aiden before he met Alistair.

Morrigan shrugged and looked away.

“And apparently you told him about me… in great detail. Considering he was able to pick me out easily enough.”

“I told him of our time during the Blight. Being the leader of our small group, you came up often.”

Rayne rolled her eyes and stepped around Morrigan. “Well, I guess that’s it then.” She reached for the handle of the door.

“For what it’s worth, Rayne. I am sorry.”

She turned back to the witch in mild surprise. “Uh… well, thank you for that. I guess. But it’s nothing you need to concern yourself with, especially now.”

Morrigan finally turned to her and smirked. “Yes, you have moved on from our dear Warden King. You do seem to have a thing for Templars.”

Rayne frowned.

Morrigan waved her hand. “I meant no offense.” She studied Rayne closely. “In truth, I am… happy for you.”

Of all the things that have happened in her life, Morrigan apologizing and then telling Rayne she was happy for her would have been top of the unbelievable list.

And because of that, she couldn’t control her next words. “Seriously?”

Morrigan shrugged. “I cannot be happy that you have apparently found happiness?”

“Uh… yes?” Rayne said in confusion. “We didn’t exactly part on good terms… either time.”

Morrigan smiled. “Well, that was a decade past. I’d like to think we have both grown past the pettiness.”

Rayne crossed her arms. “Considering your prodding when you first arrived.”

“Only because I wanted an emotional reaction from you. I just wasn’t expecting the reaction I got.”

“What did you expect to happen when you start using my son?” Rayne snapped. “How would you of reacted if I egged you on using Keiran?”

Morrigan winced. “A fair point.”

Rayne sighed and rubbed her head. “Look. For the time being we are of common purpose. We should at least be civil.”

Morrigan chuckled. “Much like our time during the Blight?”

She smirked. “We won’t take into account that I didn’t trust you as far as I could throw you?”

“I would have been disappointed if you _did_ trust me.”


	79. Cullen/Alistair

After securing his horse in a stable outside the city he passed through the massive gates leading in with a pack slung over his shoulder. He took a deep breath through his nose to just take in the smell. Those outside of Ferelden would never fully appreciate the scent of the capital. All that they smelled was garbage and wet dogs. But those were the smells of home to Cullen.

All around him people bustled about either peddling their wares, buying said wares or working on construction. Even after ten years the city was still healing and repairing from all the damage that the archdemon and its massive darkspawn army had done. He remembered the last time he was here for King Alistair’s coronation. The sky was still gray and the air smelled of the smoke from the burning buildings, luckily they weren’t subjected to the burning pyres outside of the city of darkspawn corpses.

He remembered the talk of the nobles and the common folk around him as they spoke about how they felt the King should have mounted the archdemon’s head somewhere for all to see, to all bear witness to the victory that was won. But Alistair refused to have such a vile thing stay within his city. So after he and Rayne collected what they needed – that Cullen now knew was the archdemon’s blood – he made sure to have the creature destroyed with the help of mage magic which Rayne was more than happy to help with alongside her fellows. She wanted it gone just as badly as Alistair did.

Cullen skirted around a group of small children as they ran past him. He smiled as the squeals of laughter faded.

“Commander Cullen?”

He turned to see Teagan with a smile on his face and a look of confusion.

“Arl Teagan.” Cullen said and took the man’s offered arm in greeting. “Well met.”

“And you, Commander. We had seen the Inquisition banner, so I came to greet you. Truth be told, we had thought you someone else.”

Cullen chuckled. “So, you must have received Sister Leliana’s letter?”

Teagan nodded. “She informed us that a representative of the Inquisition would be arriving. She just didn’t specify who. Our designated scout will be surprised.” He said with a chuckle.

“Designated scout?” Cullen asked in confusion.

“Commander?” A tenor voice called out.

He turned to the running form of Aiden and smiled. He barely caught himself as the boy ran into him and wrapped his arms around Cullen’s wider frame.

“Maker’s breath!” Cullen laughed and knelt. “I do believe you’ve gotten taller in the last few months.”

Aiden grinned. “I’d like to think so.”

Cullen tilted his head and brought his pack to his side and began opening it. “But then, you have had a birthday since the last we saw one another.” He reached into his pack and took out a satchel. “From your mother, Varric and I.”

Aiden’s eyes brightened and then looked around. “Isn’t my mother with you?” He asked as he took the gift.

He shook his head. “She had to stay behind at Skyhold.”

“That is regrettable to hear.” Said a new voice.

Cullen raised his eyes and forced his face not to give away his feelings about seeing Alistair. “Your Majesty.” He bowed his head.

“Commander.” Alistair said approaching his son and placing a hand on his shoulder. “Welcome back to Denerim.”

Cullen rose to be eye level with him.

Alistair looked down at Aiden. “What’s this then?” He asked of the satchel the boy had.

“Belated birthday gift.” Cullen explained. “From his mother and Varric.” He decided it wasn’t best to mention the other gift inside that was from him.

Teagan raised an eyebrow but held his tongue.

“Go on then.” Alistair encouraged the boy.

Aiden unlaced the satchel and reached inside pulling out first a new deck of Wicked Grace cards. His smile widened.

“Varric says he fully expects you to be a master of the game the next time he sees you.” Cullen said lightly.

Aiden snorted as he placed the cards back inside. “I already am. He just doesn’t like to admit it.” He pulled out the next gift. A silver pin of a lion’s head with two small ruby chips as eyes.

“From Val Royeaux.” Cullen explained.

Aiden studied the lion and ran a finger over the face. “It’s beautiful.”

“A lion?” Alistair asked.

“They are majestic beasts, Your Majesty.”

Alistair’s eyes went to the fur of his coat. “It’s also a symbol of Orlais.”

Cullen clenched his jaw and gave him his best smile. “Also a symbol of strength, courage, and leadership.” He looked down at Aiden. “Qualities any young prince should stride for.”

Aiden smiled and replaced the pin inside the satchel and pulled out the last gift.

Cullen’s heart felt heavy as the boy held up a large wolf tooth on a leather cord.

Aiden studied the tooth in confusion, until the realization of what it truly was came to him.

“A wolf’s tooth?” Alistair asked.

Aiden fingered the tooth sadly. “Ghost’s tooth.” He said softly. He looked up at Cullen. “He’s dead then?”

Cullen nodded. He didn’t think he should go into detail of the noble beast’s death. “He is now buried in the Emerald Graves.”

Aiden closed his eyes and nodded. He then pulled the necklace over his head, the tooth falling low on his chest.

Alistair shook his head and looked to Cullen. “How is Rayne taking the loss?”

“As well as can be expected. But she is better than she initially was.”

Alistair nodded. “Good.” He looked down to Aiden. “Aren’t you supposed to be in your studies?”

“I wanted to greet whoever was coming from the Inquisition.” Aiden explained.

Cullen saw Alistair look at him out of the corner of his eye. “Well, now you have. You have studies. Your mother would skin me alive if she thought I was depriving you.”

“But…” Aiden started.

“Go on, Aiden.” Cullen said. “I will be here from some time, no doubt we will see each other and be able to catch up.” He half directed that as a question to Alistair.

“Of course.” Alistair said, albeit grudgingly.

Aiden sighed and gave Cullen one last smile before turning and heading to wherever he was needed.

Alistair waited until his son was out of ear shot before turning to Cullen. “I gather you are tired from your trip from Skyhold. No doubt you wish to clean yourself up and rest.”

“A place to clean the dust off would be appreciated, Your Majesty. But I would like to discuss business first before resting.”

Alistair studied him then nodded. He turned to Teagan, “could you escort the Commander to the guest quarters while I see to some other business?”

* * *

 

Cullen finished rolling up his sleeves as he walked down the polished hall to Alistair’s personal study and office. He had changed from his armor into his with linen shirt and leather breeches with black boots. He felt it was wiser to make this as casual as possible instead of looking like he was about to go to battle with the King.

He looked up as he reached the end of the hall and the door leading to the office that a young page had instructed how to get to. On either side of the dark mahogany double doors that had wood burnings of the fighting mabari of Ferelden and the royal family were two guards.

“Commander Cullen to see King Alistair.” He said.

One guard went to the door and knocked.

“Yes?” Alistair’s muffled voice called.

The guard cracked open the door, “Commander Cullen of the Inquisition to see you, Your Majesty.”

“Send him in.”

The guard pushed open the doors and stood off to the side to allow Cullen entrance.

Cullen nodded to the guards before entering.

“Commander Cullen, it has been some time.”

Cullen kept the surprise out of his face as the doors were closed behind him as he took in the other guest with Alistair. “Arl Eamon. Indeed it has been some time, my lord.”

Arl Eamon, elder brother to Teagan and once Arl to Redcliffe before giving over power to his brother after the Blight when he moved to Denerim to aid Alistair – or as Rayne always suspected, try to use Alistair as a puppet. If there was one good thing about Alistair that Cullen would give him, it would be his rod of steel spine at being used for another’s goals.

Eamon was a weathered man, his wide shoulders that he still held straight spoke that he had once been able to fight, at least to some degree. His shoulder length grew hair tied back away from his face the held a long goatee, clean cheeks and blue eyes that matched his brother’s. Wrinkles around his eyes spoke mostly of age and fatigue, and Cullen couldn’t blame him from everything that had happened since the beginning of the Blight.

Eamon smiled warmly. “What has it been? Ten years since you were last at the capital? With… oh… who was it? Oh! Knight-Commander Gregoir.”

Cullen gave a strained smile. “Indeed, my lord.”

“Good man, Commander Gregoir.” Eamon continued unaware of how speaking about Cullen’s former Commander was affecting him. “I had dealings with him on occasion since the Tower was only a day’s journey from Redcliffe.” He tilted his head. “And now you are Commander of the Inquisition’s army? Quite the promotion.”

“It was a long road to get here, my lord.”

Eamon sighed. “Yes. That horrible business in Kirkwall.” He said it as if speaking about some small skirmish instead of the massacre it was. “Glad to see you’ve prospered from all that.”

Cullen just smiled unable to come up with anything to say. _Maker, where was Josephine when you needed her?_

Alistair sighed heavily in annoyance that was directed at Eamon. Like Cullen, Alistair was not much a diplomat and didn’t care for pomp and ceremony. He was a straight to business type of man. “Please, have a seat Commander.” He motioned to a chair that was placed in front of a large oak desk.

Cullen went to the chair and sat and waited as Alistair took his seat at the desk while Eamon remained standing at Alistair’s side. A glare in Eamon’s direction from the King said he didn’t like him looming over him.

Finally ignoring the Arl, Alistair turned his attention to Cullen and folded his hands on the desk. “Leliana sent me word that you – or someone from the Inquisition – would be coming, but she didn’t specify for what purpose. Truthfully, I’m surprised you would go through the journey here since you could have easily sent a bird.”

“It may have been simpler, Your Majesty, but we were pressed for time.”

Alistair raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t the journey from Skyhold longer than a bird carrier?”

“It is. But with our request –“

“Which is?” Alistair asked.

Cullen took a deep breath before continuing. “Inquisitor Trevelyan is on his way to the Western Approach, I assume that Sister Leliana has been keeping you apprised of the Warden situation?”

Alistair closed his eyes and sat back. “She has. So far it is a lot more questions than answers, and you all hope that the Approach will finally yield some.” He opened his eyes. “What does this have to do with anything?”

Cullen quickly explained.

“That shouldn’t be difficult. I promised the Inquisition my support. But I’m still not seeing why this warranted a personal visit from the Inquisition’s Commander.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I just explained, Your Majesty. To save time.”

Alistair propped his arm on the arm rest of his chair and laid his head on his fist. “Surely you have someone, a Captain perhaps? That could have done this for you?”

Cullen smirked. “Someone like Captain Rayne?”

At mention of the mage Eamon rolled his eyes and went to a nearby table that had various drinks and cups ready to be used. “Really, Alistair?” He asked as he removed the stopper from a crystal bottle of brandy, he turned to Cullen and raised the bottle. “Commander?”

“No, thank you, my lord.”

Eamon turned back and poured himself a glass. “It has been ten years, my boy. Let it go already.” He finished saying to Alistair.

Anger sparked in Alistair’s eyes. “Like I should let go of the fact that you helped send her away?” He growled.

From his angle Alistair couldn’t see Eamon’s face, but Cullen could. The Arl’s eyes went to the ceiling as if saying a silent prayer.

Cullen cleared his throat. “With all due respect, Your Majesty, no one forces Rayne to do anything she doesn’t want to.” _Don’t I know it._

Alistair glared daggers at him, and Cullen realized too late that he just fired the first shot. The King then relaxed and smiled pleasantly. “Yes, I suppose you’re right. But sometimes people’s actions and words can have an effect on her. I mean, you should have seen her after we liberated the Tower from Uldred.” He shook his head.

Cullen’s jaw clenched and he attempted to swallow down his tongue before he made things worse. But he couldn’t. “Or your recent visit to Skyhold.” He said in a rather sweet voice.

Alistair’s eye twitched ever so slightly. He didn’t realize that Rayne had told Cullen about that.

And Cullen couldn’t stop himself. He gave a charming smile, “she was a wreck… for a time. But then we got very… very close.”

Alistair’s face darkened and his eyes turned into molten pools of gold. He pushed back out of his chair and stood. Cullen cursed himself. Leliana had been trying to keep that under wraps from the King, and now, here he was, rubbing it in his face.

The former Warden went to the table Eamon was, the Arl moving quickly out of Alistair’s way. He poured himself a cup of what looked like ale and then went to the hearth where a small fire was burning and took a drink. “Of course I will send people to the Inquisitor in the Approach.” He said not turning back to Cullen. “But it will no doubt take some time to gather the forces and people you require.”

“Of course, Your Majesty.” Cullen said hesitantly. “That is understand…”

“A few weeks, probably.” Alistair finished and took another drink.

“A few weeks?” Cullen said in shock. “Sire, we cannot…”

Alistair turned back to him. “These things cannot be rushed, Commander. You of all people should know that.”

_Yes, but not weeks for what little we need from you._ Cullen growled inside his head.

“And besides, you said the Inquisitor wasn’t heading directly to the Approach. And even then it will take him time to secure the area enough for troop movement, no?” Alistair gave him a lopsided smile. “Unless you _want_ to return to Skyhold empty handed? I can’t imagine that going well.”

Cullen was practically grinding his teeth. But he had no one to blame but himself. “Of course not, Your Majesty.”

Alistair nodded and turned back to the flames. “Anything else, Commander?”

Cullen rose and gave a half bow. “No. Thank you, Your Majesty.”

The King didn’t say anything, it was a clear dismissal.

He practically was biting his tongue as he whipped around and went for the door.

* * *

* * *

 

He was silently drinking his dwarven ale as Cullen practically stormed out of the office, he covered his triumphant smile behind his cup. _Can’t get close from this distance, can you Commander?_

Once the doors were firmly closed again Eamon sighed. “Was that absolutely necessary?”

“What?” Alistair said not facing his sort-of uncle.

“You and I both know that it won’t take _weeks_ to get what the Inquisitor needs. And the Commander is no fool, he knows this as well.”

He didn’t reply, he simply swirled around the last of his ale.

“This is about that damnable mage isn’t it?” Eamon snapped.

Alistair’s eyes ticked over to the Arl. “I would mind your tongue, Arl Eamon. That ‘damnable mage’ is still a hero around here and a close friend.”

Eamon crossed his arms. “Not from what I understand after whatever happened at Skyhold.”

His eyes went back to the fire and he tossed back the last of his drink. “A minor setback.”

He heard Eamon’s footsteps head to the door. “Keep telling yourself that, Your Majesty.”


	80. Cullen

He was cursing under his breath the entire time as he stormed out of the Keep garnering looks from people who happened to be in his path. He didn’t stop until he was outside and heading in the direction of the market.

In the end Cullen had no one to blame except himself for what just happened. He had let Alistair get under his skin, so he retaliated in kind with the one thing he shouldn’t have. Rayne’s affection wasn’t some weapon to be used against someone. And then of course he went and broke the one promise he gave her: he let his jealousy get the best of him.

And now the Inquisition was paying for his inability to control himself around the King. He was already dreading the letter he would be sending back to Skyhold to Leliana and Rayne would also find out. “One blighted day. You couldn’t even control yourself for one blighted day.” He grumbled.

“Sounds like it went well.”

Cullen halted his march and looked around, but there was no one around that was addressing him. “Brilliant. Now I’m starting to hear voices.” He rubbed a hand down his face in exasperation.

“Up here, Commander.” The voice laughed.

Cullen turned his eyes skyward.

Aiden sat on the edge of the roof of the building closest to him with a grin on his face.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in some kind of lesson?”

The boy shrugged and jumped down, grabbing a pole on his decent and then releasing it to land safely on the ground. “I would be. If my instructor hadn’t fallen asleep.”

Cullen raised an eyebrow. “Does he do that often?” He asked dryly.

Aiden’s cheek turned a slight shade of pink and his eyes diverted away. “Uh… not too often.”

Cullen crossed his arms. “You dose your instructor with something when you don’t feel like sitting around, don’t you?”

Aiden ducked under the accusation and grinned sheepishly. When he realized that Cullen wasn’t buying into it he sighed. “I can’t help it! Everything he is currently teaching me _mamae_ already taught me. So I get bored.”

“Have you tried telling him you already know?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes. But he thinks that my education must be lacking because I was taught while traveling by an apostate.” He grumbled.

Cullen shook his head. “You never know, you might actually learn something new. If you stop dosing him you can get through those lessons more quickly.”

Aiden screwed his face in annoyance that Cullen’s reasoning was sound.

Finally Cullen chuckled and placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “But I would be lying if I said that at the moment I didn’t want you here.”

Aiden smiled. “I have missed you too, Commander.”

“Come. Walk with me. Tell me, how are you enjoying the capital?”

Aiden fell in step behind him as they walked. “It’s alright.” He said grudgingly. “I miss everyone.”

Cullen gave him a lopsided smile. “And we miss you. But you can’t tell me you haven’t enjoyed your time here, can you? Do you see much of your father?”

The boy nodded. “Every night. He makes sure no matter what he’s doing that he drops it and has dinner with me. And at least three times a week he comes out and trains with me himself.”

He felt the familiar pain of jealousy, but he smothered it. He reminded himself that Aiden was not his son, and that it was good that Alistair spent so much time with him. One of the biggest concerns Rayne had was that Aiden would get to the capital only to be shoved to the side for politics. She will be happy to hear this.

“So you’re keeping up with your training as well then?” Cullen asked.

Aiden grinned. “Father made sure to get one of the best dualists and archers he could find.” He held his head higher. “He said that I’m surprisingly talented given how I was trained.”

**More like who trained you.** Cullen thought in amusement. No one would ever think a mage of all people would be a proficient rogue trainer. But Rayne was unique. She was determined not to use magic as a crutch. But Aiden also had Varric, Sebastian and even Zevran for a short time. “Are you making any friends?”

Aiden fidgeted.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

He sighed and nodded to a small garden, the entrance was a tall marble archway. “I have nothing in common with any of them. Their so…”

“Young?” Cullen offered.

Aiden nodded.

“Ever think that you just grew up too fast?”

He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. Means the same thing.” He stopped in middle of the garden and looked around. “What do you think?”

Cullen finally took in the area. It was a place that was well taken care of with lush green grass with pink roses and purple and orange calla lilies. Cobblestone acted as a narrow path that circled around the center piece of the garden. It was fountain with a woman in a flowing dress knelt in the middle with her hand dipped into the water. He studied the face of the woman and gaped. It was a young Rayne. Her hair hung down her back, her serene face was fuller with a gentle smile and her figure not as curved.

Aiden went to the edge of the fountain and sat on the rim. “I come here when I miss her. She looks so young and… peaceful.”

“That she does.” Cullen agreed.

“Father had this garden built shortly after she left for Amaranthine.” Aiden looked at him. “From the way Arl Eamon tells it, my father had built it as a gift to her. But I think it was because he missed her and hoped would help. And then after Kirkwall… there used to be a plaque. But when she came out of hiding he had it removed.”

Cullen remained silent just staring at the exquisite detail of the statue. Alistair must have gone through great expense to get someone who could capture her so perfectly. The King had purposely chosen to have her look like she had before the events of the Blight changed her, not just in her appearance but in personality. It was how Alistair would always view her. As an innocent, soft and gentle mageling. And that was what divided them.

He finally pulled his thoughts back to Aiden who sat staring up at him. Cullen smiled, “I guess this is as good a place as any to talk to you.”

Aiden tilted his head. “Talk to me about what?” His eyes widened and panic filled them. “Is something wrong back at Skyhold? With Mother?”

“No, no.” He reassured and sat down beside the boy. “Well, other than having to keep from committing murder, that is.” He said with a chuckled.

“Murder? Of who?” Aiden asked perplexed. He groaned. “Did Vivienne finally push the wrong buttons?”

Cullen couldn’t help it, he laughed. “No. Luckily.” He shook his head in amusement. “We recently acquired a new… adviser, of sorts. Her name is Morrigan.”

Aiden blinked a few times at him. “Wait… not _the_ Morrigan.”

“I see you’ve heard about her.” He leaned forward and braced his arms on his thighs.

Aiden rolled his eyes. “Yeah, Mother has told me stories. I’m surprised one of them didn’t end up dead on the first day.”

Cullen smirked. “Not for lack of trying by your mother.” He studied the boy. “We were also told about your… special circumstances.”

Aiden looked at him in confusion.

Cullen cleared his throat and looked around to make sure no one was nearby. “The Old God soul.”

Aiden blanched and looked away. “She told you about that.”

“She did, albeit reluctantly.”

Aiden sighed and looked back. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I don’t have it anymore.”

“It does. Who knows what having that inside you could have done.”

The boy frowned. “Nothing. It wasn’t some dark and tainted… thing inside me.” He looked down and picked at the stone. “I understand why she did what she did. To protect me against Flemeth. But… I sometimes miss it.”

“You miss it?” Cullen asked in surprise.

He continued to pick at the stone. “In truth it had been my one true friend. It understood me on a level no one else ever will.” He paused. “Well, except for maybe Cole. Maybe that’s why we get along so well? And… I miss being a mage. I feel… like me _not_ being one… that I’ve disappointed my mother.”

Cullen’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “That’s not even close to being true.”

Aiden remained silent.

He placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “I think she was honestly relieved.”

Aiden looked up at him in surprise. “Relieved?”

He nodded. “Especially then. You being a mage… would mean either you would be sent to a Circle or be on the run from Templars. Her standing as a Warden and Hero of Ferelden wouldn’t have kept you from that. And I know neither of those options were what she wanted for you. She lived in a Circle most of her life, and even though Ferelden’s Circle was better than most, she realized it was a gilded cage.”

Aiden’s face screwed in thought and he looked away briefly. “Would… you have been one of them?”

Cullen frowned in confusion. “One of whom?”

Aiden looked back at him. “One of the Templars to come for me… if I had kept my magic.”

He was struck dumb with the question. It was something he never contemplated before. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever fathom Aiden becoming a mage, even later in his years. Now, it wasn’t really a worry. Aiden was old enough that his chances were nil on becoming a mage. But when he first met him? Cullen _should_ have contemplated the possibility back then since his mother was a mage and magic runs through the Amell line. But he never did.

The more he thought about it perhaps he never _wanted_ to think of that possibility. Perhaps he knew he wouldn’t be able to make that call back then. But the moment he thought that he remembered his frame of mind back then, stationed under Meredith that fed his hate of mages.

Cullen thought about lying, but discarded that. “I… probably would have.” He said softly.

Aiden’s face fell.

Cullen sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I wouldn’t have been happy about it. But… you have to understand, back then I was… not in a good place concerning mages.”

“And now?” Aiden asked.

“I…” he cleared his throat. He knew what Aiden wanted to hear, but… “I would still.”

“But… how can you?” Aiden asked, his voice slightly cracking. “Unlike my father I know about you and mother, she told me in her personal letters. But you… You would put her back into a Circle?”

“What? No… I … that’s not what I…” He groaned. “Your mother has proven that she is a very capable mage, even more so with her… magical practices and not succumbing to temptation. But I believe that is in part to her time at the Circle.”

Aiden frowned.

“I know that Circles are not perfect. But… I believe they are beneficial. It is a safe place for mages to learn to control their magic properly. Circles, the Templar Order… there needs to be change, I know that. I pray for a better future for Circles and mages. Magic is dangerous. You have seen this.”

Aiden looked away, “yeah, because a religious zealot with a sword and the Maker on their side wouldn’t hurt anybody.” He mumbled sarcastically.

Cullen sighed and then chuckled. “You are your mother’s son.” He said in amusement. “You’re right. Templars are not perfect. Like I said: both sides need change.”

The boy was quiet then finally sighed and turned back to him and gave him a lopsided smile. “I’m sorry.”

Cullen tilted his head. “I hope you don’t think less of me?”

Aiden gave him a full smile at that. “Never.”

“Good… that will make my next question to you easier.”

“What is it?”

Cullen licked his lip scar. “I… was hoping for your blessing.”


	81. Amell

It had been nearly a month and a half since Cullen and Alec left Skyhold.

Rayne could understand Alec’s long absence. He sent word as often as he could, but they all understood that it would be difficult with where he currently was and where he was going. His last report was about helping Solas with his spirit friend and what had transpired. They learned mages had summoned a spirit of Wisdom, bound it and commanded it to fight for them against bandits. Giving it that command had twisted the spirit into a demon of Pride.

They were able to destroy the binding, and the spirit was reverted back to its original self but the damage had already been done. Solas was forced to kill the spirit out of mercy. Out of anger, Solas had killed the other mages responsible. After, he left Alec needing time alone. Alec still had no idea where Solas was or where he could have gotten to or if he even planned on returning.

After, Alec began the daunting task of cleaning up The Plains as best as he could. But he did admit that it wasn’t going to be a task that couldn’t completed right now. Bridges needed to be built, tunnels cleared. He would have more to report when he returned to Skyhold before he began his journey to the Approach.

As for Cullen he sent Leliana weekly progress reports. Rayne had been relieved and confused with his first report. He had gained Alistair’s aid, but it would take time to gather what they needed. Which was understandable. What was confusing was the time Alistair said would be required, and Cullen did not offer any explanation.

Along with the weekly progress report came personal letters to Rayne that she responded to. She couldn’t help but chuckle at his attempts to write letters. It obviously wasn’t something he was accustomed to doing. Something he admitted to a while back concerning letters from his sister Mia, a fact that she liked to hound him about. But he tried. He wrote about how much he missed her, and despite all the constant badgering, he missed Skyhold. He wrote about Aiden and how good it was to see him again, even though her son was mildly disappointed that it hadn’t been her to come to Denerim, but he understood the reasoning behind it.

And, surprisingly, Cullen wrote about his family. He lamented about how close to South Reach he was but was unable to see his family. People he hadn’t seen in ten years. Rayne told him that he passed right by it on his return journey to Skyhold and was encouraging him to stop and see them, even if that meant his prolonged return to her. He said he would consider it.

But as two months drew closer Rayne finally knew something was wrong. She would have started looking into it, if it wasn’t for the fact that she was now apparently getting sick.

Rayne sat on the floor of her powder room with a bucket and her head pressed to the cold stone wall and groaned as her stomach finally emptied out everything it wanted to.

“Are you sure you shouldn’t see a mage healer?” Leliana asked concerned, standing at the doorway looking down at her. “This has been going on for almost two weeks.”

“Just so they can tell me that I’m getting a stomach bug?” She finally stood on shaky legs. “No thanks.”

Leliana frowned and motioned to a servant girl to come retrieve the bucket. “In all the time I’ve known you, I have _never_ seen you get sick. Thought it had something to do with being a Grey Warden.”

Rayne smiled in thanks to the servant as she took the bucket to dispose of its contents. She exited the powder room and went for the jug of water and went out to the balcony. She swished the water around her mouth to get rid of the taste of bile and she thought to Leliana’s words. She was right, Rayne had never been sick… at least that she could remember.

“Could it be something else?” Leliana asked.

Rayne spit out the water over the balcony railing. “Such as?” She took a deep pull of water.

She saw Leliana shrug out of the corner of her eye. “That’s why I would like a healer to look at you.”

She went back inside. “How about this: when Solas returns I’ll have him look me over. Cole said that he was close.”

Leliana frowned. “Why Solas?”

“Because he happens to be the best healer we have. And I’d rather have the best instead of second rate. If there _is_ something wrong with me, Solas will be able to find it.”

Leliana sighed. “Very well.”

Rayne went to her dresser and pulled out a black peasant blouse that buttoned up the front and the long sleeves attached with drawstrings if she wished to remove them. She draped it on top of the dresser as she pulled her sleeping shirt over her head and tossed it over to the linen bag in the corner with more of her dirty laundry that she had yet to clean.

“You know, you can have people clean all that for you.” Leliana said behind her as she adjusted her breast band.

“I’m not a child, Leliana.” She threw her blouse around her and tugged it over her arms. “I’m fully capable of taking care of my own laundry. You know how I’ve always hated people waiting on me.”

Leliana snorted. “You’ve never let anyone wait on you, how do you know you hate it?”

Rayne began buttoning up her blouse. Before she could say anything another voice cut in.

“They had tried. She didn’t like it.”

She jumped and turned to her bed. Cole sat cross legged with his face hidden under his floppy hat picking at loose strands on his leather pants. Leliana had not fared better than her, the Spymaster had drew a hidden dagger and only marginally relaxed when she saw their intruder.

Rayne released her breath. “How long have you been there?”

Cole looked up, only barely revealing the bottom of his face. “Not long. He’s almost here. Almost to the front gate.”

“How did you even get in here?” Leliana asked tucking away her knife.

“I walked.” He said matter-of-factly.

Rayne pursed her lips to contain the smile and chuckled. She turned back to her task of buttoning up her blouse. “Thank you, Cole.” Unable to hide all of her amusement. But her smile fell when she came to the last few buttons near her abdomen, silently noting that it was tighter than usual.

“What’s wrong?” Leliana asked catching her expression.

She hummed in thought. “Nothing.”

She saw Cole tilt his head but he kept his thoughts – or more than likely her thoughts – to himself. And for that she was grateful.

“You should probably steer clear of him when he first gets here.” She said, directly her words at Cole.

“But… he’s hurting.” He said confused.

She looked up. “He is. But perhaps digging into those fresh wounds wouldn’t be wisest. I know that was something I was avoiding when I lost Ghost.”

Cole sat silently contemplating her words. “But I can help soon?”

Rayne smile. “Soon.”

“And what about you?” Leliana asked.

“Me?” She went over to her bed, grabbing her boots along the way and sat heavily on the bed making Cole slightly bounce. “I’m going to distract him.” She felt the pressure of Leliana’s gaze as she pulled on her boot and began lacing. “Don’t worry Leliana. I promise to keep my clothes on.” She said with an edge to her voice.

“I didn’t…” Leliana started.

“You thought it.” Cole said.

Rayne looked up at him and smiled before tugging on her other boot.

“Annoyed. Presumptuous. Do they have such a low opinion of me?” Cole’s voice soft and hollow.

“That’s enough, Cole.” She said lightly. “I think you’ve made my point.”

“Sorry.”

She patted him on his closest knee and stood. “You don’t need to apologize.” She turned to Leliana. “You on the other hand…”

Leliana crossed her arms and glared. “Can you blame me? He isn’t exactly subtle.”

“Oh, trust me. I know.” She said in slight annoyance and went back to her dresser and grabbed leather cord. “Doesn’t mean I’m going to act on  _his_ feelings.” She pulled the long leather cord loop over her head and dropped the pendant on the end on her chest.

She smiled down at the silver coin as it rested low on her chest , nestled right above her heart, the long leather cord a trail in the valley between her breasts. She had spent days trying to find the perfect metal to use to make a setting for the coin Cullen had given her. She wanted something to keep it nice and secure, no chances of it slipping out and becoming lost, but she didn’t want to take away from the simplicity of it. The end result was perfect with some help from Dagna and even Harritt who helped pick the right metal for sturdiness to stand against all her rigorous activities.

She turned back to the duo behind her. “I’m more than happy with what I have.”

A ghost of a smile came to Cole’s face, whereas Leliana rolled her eyes.

“Yes, it’s almost nauseating watching the two of you.”

Rayne smirked. “I know you’re happy for me.” She headed for the door. She heard Leliana fall in step behind her.

“Perhaps.” The Spymaster mumbled.

“You are.” She said firmly as they exited into the main hall. “You just don’t like to admit it because you always thought that my love story would end up differently.”

Rayne was met with silence until Cole spoke. “Happy, yet sad. He was her first, and her his. Bonded in blood and love. Time changed you. Changed you both. Yet somethings remain.”

“Cole.” Leliana growled.

Rayne blinked when the sun hit her eyes as they exited into the courtyard. Once they were adjusted she looked to the portcullis, narrowing her eyes to see a distant lone figure approaching on the bridge. “Is that him?”

“Yes.” Cole answered. “I will go.”

“As will I.” Leliana said. “Let me know if he finds anything wrong.”

“Of course.” Rayne said and descended the stairs.

She waited at the gate watching Solas slowly approach. She noted how he seemed to lean more heavily on his staff, using it more like a walking stick than the magical instrument it was. He had no pack, presumably left in The Plains with Alec and the others.

“Solas.” She called out once he was close enough.

He raised his head to her. Dark circles were under his eyes that were filled with pain. “Warden.”

She clasped her hands behind her back as he got closer; closing the gap between them until he was only an arm’s reach away. “Welcome back to Skyhold.”

Solas just stared at her. When she didn’t say anything he raised an eyebrow, “And?”

“And what?”

“That’s all you have to say?”

She shrugged. “Should I say, ‘I’m sorry’? Would that make you feel better?”

He looked away. “No.”

“I’m just glad you’ve returned and are in one piece.”

A bitter smile tugged at his lips and he turned back to her. “Are you?”

“Of course. Despite everything else, you’re my friend Solas.”

His smile wilted and in its place was surprise.

Rayne chuckled. “Is that so hard to believe?”

“I… suppose not.”

They stood in silence for a short time. Then Solas took a deep breath and stood straighter. “Thank you.”


	82. Amell

She walked beside him up the stairs to the upper courtyard. Anyone who had witnessed their exchange would have thought her cold or cruel with how she handled his return and him losing his friend. But Solas was too much like her in this regard. When dealing with loss they needed to mourn alone, they didn’t like people hovering over them, but knowing someone was there helped.

“What else is it?” Solas asked.

“Hmm?” She said giving him a side glance.

“There is something more.”

“It can wait. You should clean yourself up and rest.”

He chuckled. “Clean myself up, yes. But I don’t need rest. I’m fine. I slept a great deal while I was gone.”

“You mean you were traveling the Fade a great deal.” Rayne looked at him and stopped at the entrance of the main hall. “But, fair enough.”

“So, what is the problem?”

She rubbed the back of her neck. “It’s nothing serious. I’ve just been sick for the last two weeks.”

His eyebrows rose. “And that’s not serious?” He looked inside of the hall and all the people. “Give me an hour, and meet me in the rotunda.”

“Thank you, Solas.” She smiled.

He nodded and headed inside.

* * *

 

“Have you been feverish?” Solas asked as he motioned for her to sit on the couch.

“No.” She sat and looked up at him, taking in his appearance.

He had changed into his casual black cloth attire. Dirt was no longer coating his skin in a thin film and the dark circles under his eyes weren’t as prominent. Seems like a bath and a fresh change of clothes could do wonders.

Solas cupped her face in his hands allowing her to feel slight calluses on his hands from wielding weapons, no doubt his staff. He tilted her head, “Any other symptoms besides the stomach?”

“No.” Rayne said allowing him to check her eyes, nose and mouth.

“And this has been happening for two weeks?”

“There about.”

He quirked an eyebrow as he released her face. “And you haven’t seen a healer before now, because…?”

“Because I wanted a competent healer.”

Amusement glinted in his eyes. “I’m not the only competent healer.” He motioned for her to lay back and he went to get a chair. “In all my studying of Wardens, your lot don’t seem to get sick.”

Rayne laid flat on her back and propped her head on the pillow he had. “Not typically. We’re kinda known for our stamina.”

Solas smirked down at her.

She felt heat come to her cheeks and she diverted her eyes. Rayne had never been shy about that topic. But with Solas it was just awkward.

Once she heard him sit she turned back to him. His eyes traveled up and down her body with a clinical look. He brought his eyes to hers. “May I?” He said pointing at her blouse.

She nodded and tried not to squirm as he deftly began unbuttoning her blouse. He only undid enough to reveal her abdomen, keeping the rest of her covered. Rayne began to question her decision to have him look her over as his fingers worked the lacing of her pants and rolled down the top until it sat low of her hips.

“You’ve gained weight.” He said matter-of-factly.

“I was kinda hoping my clothes had just managed to shrink.” She mumbled. “This is what happens when I don’t get proper exercise.” She smiled. “Not something I had to worry about before now.”

Solas chuckled. “I would assume so. For the past decade you’ve done nothing but either travel on foot or fight.” He brought his hands to her abdomen and applied a bit of pressure. “But it’s nothing life altering, barely noticeable and something tells me you can easily lose it. I would like it noted though a little extra weight doesn’t hurt.”

“Tell that to my fighting style.”

He simply shook his head and he felt around her stomach. “Anything uncomfortable?”

“Other than the pressure itself? No.”

He hummed in thought. After a few moments of silence he removed his hands. “I don’t feel anything wrong.” His hands began to glow blue. “Let’s take an inside look, shall we?”

Rayne took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

She felt Solas’ hands back on her and the probing magic against her skin. With a few mumbled words from him, the magic began sending small jolts into her abdomen looking for anything. The spell basically allowed Solas to see everything inside of her, muscle, organs, bone, everything. It was a strange feeling once the magic was fully inside her and it felt like fingers crawling through her.

They were both silent a while until there was a sharp intake of breath from the elf.

“What is it?” Rayne asked opening her eyes.

He didn’t answer right away. He slowly pulled his spell out of her. Once it was done he slumped in fatigue.

“Solas?” She asked worrying not only for what he found but for him.

He slowly opened his eyes and gave her a shaky smile. He rose from his chair and went to the table that held a small plate of fruits and juice to replenish his blood sugar.

Rayne relaced her pants and sat up, buttoning up her blouse in the process. “Are you alright?” She asked.

Solas gave her a nod as he drank a full cup of orange juice. He gently put the cup on the table and picked a grape from the plate before answering. “Tell me: when was the last time you bled?”

Rayne just blinked at him in confusion for a moment until she fully understood what he was asking. “What does that have to do with anything?”

He gave her a pointed look as he popped the grape in his mouth.

She racked her brain trying to think, because surely…

Rayne’s mouth dropped open and closed again a few times, no doubt making her look like a gasping fish. Finally she shook her head hard. “No, that can’t be possible.”

Solas raised an eyebrow. “No? You are still a fertile young woman, and Commander Cullen no doubt a fertile man.”

“I’m a Grey Warden!” She nearly yelled. She took a deep breath to calm herself.

“You had Aiden.” He pointed out as he picked another grape.

“Aiden was…” She paused. “A… unique circumstance.”

Solas looked at her curiously but did not push what she meant. “From what I understand, nowhere does it say a Warden cann _ot_ have children indefinitely. Only that it is more difficult. And it seems you have ranked in the number that can.” He finished eating his grape before continuing. “By at least two months, if I had to guess.”

Rayne fell back against the couch completely at a loss. Yes, she and Cullen had discussed children. But it was more the fact that she couldn’t have any. What would he say or think about this? He said he would like children, but did that mean it was something he wanted _now_?

Panic started to grow in her stomach. What if the child was a mage? The fact that Aiden _wasn’t_ had been a surprise for her given her family’s history. She felt her heartbeat pound in her ears.

“Rayne…”

She jumped as she felt Solas’ hand gently touch her arm. She hadn’t even been aware that he had sat down next to her. Who knew how many times he had actually tried to get her attention.

“Yes…” She said hoarsely. She cleared her throat. “Sorry.” She stood and rubbed her head. “Thank you, Solas. It… wasn’t what I was expecting. But…” She could barely keep her trail of thought.

Solas looked at her with concern. “Are you going to be alright?”

“I don’t know.” She said honestly in a soft voice.

He stood next to her and placed a warm hand on her shoulder. “If there is anything you need, medically or otherwise, you can come to me.”

Rayne gave him a shaky smile, her head too much in turmoil for much else. “I need to go. Please, keep this to yourself for now.”

Solas studied her and nodded. “Of course.”

* * *

 

She sat on the edge of the battlements with her legs dangling over the edge, she had been there since her revelation from Solas, just allowing her thoughts to wander and calm. A few scouts came looking for her, Leliana wanted her to join her in the rookery. Rayne had sent them back asking them all the leave her be for the time being.

The sun was setting, the sky changing into colors of pinks, blues and purples.

“No artist could ever hope to capture such beauty.” She murmured to herself.

“You could try.”

Rayne managed to control the scream she felt in her throat and caught herself from toppling over the edge. She spun around to find Cole beside her, kicking his legs against the stone wall, staring ahead. “Cole! Are you trying to kill me?” She snapped.

He looked at her. “No?”

She rubbed her head. “You knew, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“And you decided not to tell me?”

Cole tilted his head. “You never asked.”

Rayne pinched the bridge of her nose against the headache that was forming behind her eyes. “I’m not sure if I should be glad or not that the one time you decide to keep those things to yourself it’s the one time you _shouldn’t_ have.” She mumbled. Finally she sighed. “Makes no matter now.”

Cole continued to just study her. “Do you want to know how Cullen will feel?”

“No. But thank you for asking.”

They both sat in comfortable silence for a while.

“What now?” Cole asked as the last rays of sun disappeared over the mountain peaks.

Rayne looked at him out of the corner of her eye. “How do you feel about a trip?”

A ghost of a smile came to his face.

* * *

 

Rayne was a bit stunned when Leliana practically squealed in delight, reminding Rayne of the cloister sister she had met a decade ago. It was both nice and a little awkward to see their feared Spymaster like that. And Rayne was glad that she had the forethought to ask Leliana to privacy.

Leliana clasped her hands, a smile beaming on her face. “Rayne that is fantastic news!”

“Yeah…” She said warily and pulled her hands from Leliana’s. “Bring a child into a war-torn world, as we’re facing an ancient Magister that is also a darkspawn, Red Templars, and crazy mages. Yeah, fantastic.”

Leliana shook her head. “You had Aiden during the Blight as I recall.”

“I had conceived Aiden towards the end of the Blight. Mere days. I didn’t think I was going to have to go fight in Amaranthine, and I certainly didn’t think the world was going to fall apart years later.”

“The world will never be perfect, Rayne. Should that stop you from living a life and having a family?

“To wait for it to be perfect? No. But a little more stable and not a chaotic mess would be nice.”

Leliana just smiled.

“Okay, stop looking at me like that.” She said and went over to a chair by Leliana’s table and sat. “You’re making me feel uneasy.”

Leliana joined her. “So, what are you going to do?”

“Go to Denerim.”

Leliana raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“First: to find out what is going on with the troops. You and I both know that it shouldn’t have taken this long.” Rayne crossed her legs.

“No. But it’s not as if Alec has made it to the Approach.” Leliana pointed out.

“Doesn’t matter. Alistair is purposely prolonging this.” She frowned. “And I plan on putting a stop to it. Second: I need to discuss… this with Cullen. I’m not going to wait for him to return, because at the rate it is going I’m going to be showing before he ever does. And I want him to hear it from me and not a rumor through the grape vine.”

Leliana studied her and nodded. “Fair enough. I will prepare a small escort…”

“You will do no such thing.” Rayne interrupted.

Their Spymaster frowned in displeasure. “You should have one…”

“No, I shouldn’t.” She sighed. “I fought pregnant, I think I can handle this. Besides I won’t be going alone.”


	83. Amell/Solas

Her room was pitch black, not even her eyes could penetrate the darkness. But she felt the subtle shift in the air around her. Years of being vigilant in the night, awaiting possible attacks, made her constantly on guard, even while sleeping.

Whoever it was, was silent, there was no sounds of feet on the floor, no breathing. She only felt them moving. Circling her bed like crows over carrion.

Rayne began slowly conjuring a spell in her hand, trying not to give anything away. She didn’t think they realized they had woken her yet. She would leave nothing but a scorch mark.

“Please don’t.” Cole’s voice said at the end of her bed. “I want to keep helping people.”

She released her pent up breath and sat up and conjured a fire ball in her hand to light up the room. The boy stood at the bottom of her bed, shifting from foot to foot looking anxious and unsure. He picked at his fingers in distress.

“Cole?” She said in a worried voice and threw off her blanket, spinning around her body to stand. She threw her fireball into the hearth, immediately the wood inside burst to life with fire. “What’s wrong?”

He continued to pick at his fingers and shook his head. “I shouldn’t be here.”

Rayne frowned and stood. “Probably not. But you’re here, and something is obviously bothering you.” When he didn’t say anything she approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder which caused him to jump. “Cole, what’s wrong?”

He finally looked up, his clear, ice blue eyes slightly fogged over indicating he wasn’t completely in his own head. “Loneliness. Pain. They are locked away. My mistake. But to lose this? No, not fair.”

“Cole.” She snapped grabbing both his shoulders to ground him. “What’s going on?”

He blinked rapidly, his eyes focusing on her. “He hurts. And I can’t help him. He won’t let me.”

Rayne frowned. “Who?”

Cole hesitated before answering. “Solas.”

She argued with herself only briefly. “Where is he?”

“Rotunda.”

Rayne quickly grabbed her robe and tied it on. “Go back to the Tavern, Cole.” She didn’t wait for his response before dashing out of her rooms and down the stairs, conjuring a small ball of pale blue energy to act as her light.

The hall was quiet. It was late enough that all the servants had long since gone to bed, but not early enough to begin preparations for morning. The usually lit small braziers were cold, filled with fresh wood for the next day to be used.

She expected the rotunda to be lit up, but not even the veil torch that Solas usually had lit was going. “Solas?” She called softly. The library above them was eerily quiet and nothing answered her back.

She moved slowly into the heart of the rotunda mindful of her steps. He wasn’t at his table where a shard gently pulsed or on the couch where he would usually walked through the Fade instead of going to his small room to sleep.

The sound of rustling fabric came from a dark corner. “Solas?” She brightened the orb hovering near her head and cast it closer to the corner.

He sat on the floor, tucked away in the darkness. His face hidden in shadows. He sighed “You shouldn’t be here.”

Rayne noted the slight slur to his voice. “Cole said something similar when he came and got me.” She moved closer.

Solas made a sound of annoyance. “Of course he would go to you.”

She knelt in front of him. “He’s worried about you. And frankly so am I…” She finally breathed through her nose. It wrinkled from the heavy smell of sweet cloying wine. “Are you… drunk?”

He finally looked up allowing her to see his bloodshot eyes. He lifted a bottle that she hadn’t seen before. He analyzed it and then shrugged before taking another drink. “Quite possibly.”

Rayne didn’t know what to say to that. She had never seen him drink alcohol, let alone get drunk.

Solas frowned at her. “Am I not allowed to partake like the rest of you?” He said in annoyance.

“I never said that.” She stood and went to him to kneel next to him and grabbed his free arm to throw over her. “It’s just out of the norm for you… very out of the norm.”

“What are you doing?”

“Getting you off this cold floor.”

He tried pulling away. “You shouldn’t in your condition.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” She growled. “Then I guess you will just have to help get your drunk ass up. Either way, you’re getting up.”

Solas _humphed_ and helped as best he could to get him standing, dropping his bottle in the process. The feeling of cold wine touched her toes as she led him to the couch. Luckily he wasn’t all that heavy.

“Why are you even drinking to begin with?” Rayne asked finally.

“It doesn’t matter.” He said softly.

She shook her head. “Fine.” She grunted as she lowered him as gently as she could on the couch.

He still sat heavily and grabbed his head.

“You’ll just have to sleep here tonight. I’m not risking trying to half carry you to your room.”

Solas didn’t say anything.

She sighed and turned to go grab the bottle of wine still on the floor.

He grabbed her wrist. “Why?”

Rayne turned to him and raised an eyebrow. “Why what?”

He looked up. “What do you see in him?” His voice was pained.

She felt her throat constrict and she tried pulling away. “Get some sleep, Solas. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

He tightened his grip on her.

“Solas,” She snapped. “Let go.”

Instead he frowned and pulled with strength she didn’t know he had. He caught her around the waist before she collided with him and brought her to his lap, wrapping his arm around her while still holding onto her wrist.

Solas nuzzled his face in her neck. “Why? Why do I feel this… link to you? You’re not elven. There shouldn’t be… but there is.”

Rayne had to keep from gagging from the stench of too sweet wine on his breath as she tried to push him away without hurting him. “Solas. Stop. Let go.”

But he wouldn’t listen. He rolled them from their sitting position to lie on the couch with him over her, pinning her with his face hovering close to hers. “I know you feel it too.” He whispered. His now freed hand moving away strands of her hair from her face.

“Solas.” She growled in warning. “I don’t want to hurt you, but Andraste help me, I will if you don’t…”

His lips smothered hers cutting off any other words.

Rayne pushed against his chest as his hand traveled to her hip.

Rage flared in her. She pressed a hand to his chest, an act that he initially took as her consent judging by the way he move his body over hers. And then her hand flared white.

Solas cried out in surprise as he was flung back, barely catching himself from toppling over the couch.

Rayne immediately jumped to her feet and looked down at him in disgust. “Stay the hell away from me.”

She spun around and headed out of the room. Unaware of the pain and the look of regret on Solas’ face.

* * *

* * *

 

His head was still pounding, but he was determined to pull him out of his sleep and go to the courtyard where he heard soldiers already training. The sun made him hiss as he descended down to the lower courtyard where he knew she would be.

Solas looked around the fighting figures until he saw Rayne in her traveling leathers with Cole beside her as she spoke to a trainer. He slowly approached.

He waited a short distance away as she spoke; going over training exercises for the new recruits that Gaspard had sent their way. Cole turned once to him and then turned back to Rayne. Creators only knew what the boy was feeling from both himself and Rayne.

When the trainer had gone to do her bidding, Rayne crossed her arms over her chest. “I thought I told you to stay away from me.”

Solas hung his head. “Warden… please. I just wanted…”

“I don’t care.” She spat.

He knew he should probably leave her alone. Give her more time. But he knew she was leaving today and he didn’t want this to fester longer than necessary. “I want to apologize for my behavior last night.”

Rayne remained silent and wouldn’t turn to look at him.

Solas sighed. “What I did… was atrocious.”

“That’s one word for it.” She mumbled.

“My behavior… it’s one of the reasons I don’t drink. I tend to revert to my younger self. Cocky and demanding. Taking what I wanted.” He continued. “It’s no excuse. But I am sorry.”

There was no answer. And in truth, he wasn’t expecting one.

“I know you may not want it now, but if you still wish, I will still be here to help during your…” he looked around knowing she didn’t want others to know yet. “Current situation.”

Rayne didn’t speak again until she saw Dennett bringing Elgar to her ready for travel. “I guess we’ll have to see what the future holds, won’t we?”

* * *

* * *

 

It was raining buckets as they rode Elgar through the front gates. The sky was dark, angry gray and the earth a dark muddy brown as it sucked greedily on the saber’s paws to keep him in place.

Cole rode behind her, his arms wrapped securely around her. In order to arrive more quickly at Denerim Rayne had them ride together as opposed to him riding his own horse. It had taken him little time to get used to the way Elgar moved beneath him, but he soon had it and was quickly enjoying himself.

Now, they were both drenched to the core. Not even her cloak or his large hat could keep the torrent from pummeling them. The guards at the gate paid them little mind, too miserable themselves to care.

Rayne had her hood pulled over her head, trying to vain to keep the rain off her face. But her eyes moved all around her as she took in the city. The market was empty since no sane person would be out in this onslaught. Buildings that hadn’t been there the last time she was at the capital surrounded the area. Others were still under construction. The Chantry was slightly bigger than it originally was and the gate where the Alienage had once been was gone.

She felt her throat constrict as her mind flashed memories of fire. It was as if she could still smell the smoke and metallic of blood coating the streets. Ash that had been as heavy as the rain now on them. Hear the screams of fear and death. The roars of ogres and the shrieks.

Cole’s embrace tightened around her pulling her back to the present. “You’re not there. You’re here. Safe. No one is dying here.”

Rayne took a shaky breath and patted his hand. “Thank you.”

“Lady Rayne?” A voice called.

A man stood under the wooden roof of the stables she was heading to. He moved the hood of his own cloak slightly back.

“Arl Teagan.” She said and stopped Elgar. Cole quickly jumped down, clumps of mud flying on his breeches in the act. Rayne followed and led Elgar to the stables. “You’re not in Redcliffe?”

Teagan smiled warmly and motioned for the stable-master. “I’ll be leaving in about a week. It’s been a long road for commissions to repair the damage to the town.”

“I can imagine.” The stable-master grabbed Elgar’s reins; the saber did not fight it. He was exhausted from his trek in the rain. “I can remove his equipment…”

The stable-master – an elder man with a clean shaven face and slightly balding head of gray hair – waved her off. “I will handle him, m’lady. You get out of the rain.” He smiled. “And welcome back to the capital.”

Rayne smiled in thanks. Teagan led her and Cole through the stables into a tunnel leading to the main keep. She threw back her hood, “I take it the King knows I’m here then?”

He shook his head. “No. I came when a sentry came reporting a new comer on a strange mount.” He turned his head slightly and smiled. “Alistair was tied up in a meeting. As far as I know, he hasn’t been informed that it is you that has arrived.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “And Aiden?”

“In his studies.” He chuckled. “He was hoping for an off day. Today was supposed to be fighting practice. But with the weather…”

“And Commander Cullen?”

“In his room.” A glint of amusement came to his eyes. “I take it you would like to go there first?”

“Unless you have a room ready for me and my companion for us to dry off.”

He stopped and turned. “Companion?”

Rayne turned to Cole that was a short distance behind her. “Cole? Want to let yourself known here?”

Cole hesitated and then came forward.

Teagan frowned in confusion. “Don’t remember seeing him with you.”

“He has that effect on people.”

He shook his head and turned to continue their walk. “For yourself and your companion?”

“Yes?”

Teagan hummed.

Rayne tilted her head and looked at him in confusion.


	84. Cullen

He rested his head in his hand while the other hand held a quill and the heel rubbing his forehead. He closed his eyes with fatigue and a slight headache. Cullen had no one to blame but himself. He had gone out to the training yard and beat himself breathless against a training dummy since no sane man would be out in the storm willingly, least of all to spar. But he had wanted to wear himself out to be able to sleep that night.

He cracked open his eyes, they fell on his drenched shirt that was draped over a chair near the hearth that was alive with flame. A sodden towel next to it on the floor. He closed his eyes again and dropped the quill on the desk to pull the light blanket over bare his shoulders a little tighter.

The headache grew, pressure was building behind his eyes.

And then it just stopped.

Cullen let out a sigh as the headache slowly receded. And then he felt a hand on the side of his head.

His eyes burst open and his hand flew to the one on his face and grabbed it at the wrist and pulled.

“Is that how you always treat a helping hand?” She said in amusement.

Cullen twisted around in his chair, the blanket falling from him. “Rayne?”

She smiled down at him.

He knew he missed her, but until that moment he didn’t realize how much. “Rayne.” He said again more softly.

“ _Vhenan.”_ She brushed the fingers of her free hand over his cheek.

He rubbed the pad of his thumb over her wrist that he still held. On impulse he pulled her to him turning her in the process so she fell into his lap.

Rayne laughed. “Cullen, I’m soaking wet.”

He grinned and wove his fingers through her wet hair that was dripping onto the floor and now onto his bare skin. “Good to know.”

She punched him lightly. “Not what I meant.”

“We’ll have to fix that.” He kissed her hard, his tongue gliding over hers while he breathed in her scent. Her normal scents gone, replaced by the clean smell of rain with slight undertones of earth from the mud on her clothes. His fingers began working at the ties of her cloak.

“Not here two minutes and you’re already undressing me, Commander?” She said between breathes.

“We need to get you out of these wet clothes before you catch cold.” His lips trailed down her chin to her neck.

“Cullen…”

He pulled the tie, her sodden cloak fell heavily over him.

“Cullen.” She said more forcefully.

He hummed as his fingers when to the laces on her jerkin.

Rayne gently pushed him back. “Cullen.”

He finally looked up at her in confusion to see her serious face. “What is it?” Worry starting to bubble in him.

She took a deep breath through her nose. “Look, let me… get changed out of these wet clothes… and then we need to talk.”

“Rayne, what’s wrong?”

She gave him a small smile and brushed her hand over his cheek. “We’ll talk.”

* * *

 

They sat on the fur blanket from the bed on the floor beside the hearth to allow the heat to warm Rayne. Her clothes now hanging by his, leaving small puddles on the stone floor. Rayne pulled a blanket tight around her naked body as she sat opposite of him allowing this news to sink in.

“But… I thought…” He said slowly.

“Yeah, so did I.”

He blinked a few times before raising his eyes up to her where she watched him closely. “And… you’re sure?”

Rayne gave him a lopsided smile. “Despite everything else, I trust Solas not to make up this kind of story.”

Cullen turned his head to the fire and just stared at the way it danced before him.

“I know we talk about this… sort of.” He heard her say. “But… If this isn’t something you want…”

That jolted him. “What?” He turned back to her.

Rayne picked at her fingernails not meeting his gaze.

“Rayne,” He grabbed her hand. “That’s not it. I just…” he sighed, trying to compose his thoughts how best to put it. “I meant what I said before. I want a family with you. I had just resigned myself to it never happening.”

She still wouldn’t lift her gaze.

Finally he smiled softly and reached forward with his free hand, moved her blanket and laid it on her stomach, feeling the slight swell already there. He rubbed his thumb across her soft skin.

Rayne’s hand went over his. “So… you’re alright?”

Cullen looked up at her. “Alright?” His smile widened and he slid closer to her, his hand never leaving her abdomen. He leaned his head to press his to hers. “I’m…” He chuckled. “There are no words how I’m feeling. Happy doesn’t even come close.”

He felt the tension leave her body. He hadn’t realized how nervous she was.

He nuzzled his face against her, encouraging her to tilt her head up to his. Rayne raised her head and kissed him. It was tentative, as if she was still unsure. Cullen brought his hands to her face and cupped it, pressing his lips harder to hers, slipping his tongue over hers. Encouraged by his advancements she leaned into him, pressing her body to his.

He moved his hands down from her face to her shoulders, sliding the blanket off to pool around her. They continued to move, sliding over her breasts causing gooseflesh to rise under his touch until his hands reached her hips and gently laying her back until she was beneath him. His kisses trailed from her lips to her chin and neck.

Cullen felt her run her fingers into his hair and twirled around a lock. “I sometimes miss these curls.”

He rubbed the tip of is nose against her breasts. “I’m glad _you_ do. I can’t stand them.” He grazed his teeth against her. His eyes fell on her belly and he couldn’t help the smile that came to him. He moved down to her abdomen and kissed gently. “What do we call you?” He whispered.

Rayne hummed running her fingers through his hair. _“Ara vherain?”_

He tilted his head up and raised an eyebrow at her.

“Or simply _vherain_ for simplicity.”

“And this means?”

She smiled. “My lion cub.” She paused and chuckled. “At least until we know what it is and come up with a proper name.”

Cullen couldn’t stop the grin that filled his face and looked back down to her stomach. “ _Vherain.”_ He whispered.

Sharp knocks on the door made them both jump. “Commander Cullen?” A voice called from the other side.

He sighed. “What is it?”

“Is Warden-Commander Rayne still with you? King Alistair requires her attention.”

Rayne sighed and nodded to him.

Cullen grit his teeth. “She is just finishing dressing. She knows where to find him.”

“Thank you, Sir. I will inform his Majesty.”

They listened to his receding footsteps and Rayne gently tapped his arm.

With a grumble of annoyance, Cullen rose from her and helped her sit up. She sighed and stood up, going for her bag by the door and shifting through for dry clothes.

Cullen looked to the door, “Rayne, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“Can it wait?” She asked as she pulled out a black top and undergarments. “Alistair is no doubt already biting at the bit.”

He licked his lip scar. “Yeah, probably more so now.”

She tied off her bag and went to her leggings still drying by the fire and picked them up. “What do you mean?” She hung her leggings and passed her hand over them. Steam coming off as she dried them.

“He knows about us.”

That halted what she was doing and her spell faltered. “I’m sorry?” She turned to him.

Cullen slightly fidgeted under her gaze.

Rayne groaned and went back to her task. “You let your jealousy get the best of you, didn’t you?” When he didn’t answer, she continued. “After promising me that you weren’t going to.”

“It was unintentional.” He started, following her movements as she walked around getting dressed. “He provoked me.”

She turned and gave him a look. “Seriously?”

He looked away.

“And _that_ is why he hasn’t sent the people we requested.” She said and scoffed. “I told you—“

“I know.” He said and looked back up, a bit more harshly than he was intending. “I know.” He said more softly.

Rayne simply shook her head and sighed as she laced up her boots. “Well, at least I know what I’m going into now.” She stood and looked down at him. “We’ll talk about this later.”

Cullen just nodded and watched her leave. Once the door was closed his eyes went to a box on the nearby table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elven Translations:
> 
> Ara vherain: My lion cub  
> Vherain: Lion cub


	85. Amell

She took a deep breath outside the unguarded door, mentally telling herself that no matter what she wasn’t to lose her head. But she was unsure how she was going to be able to handle being in the same room with him. She had not spoken to him since their encounter at Skyhold.

Rayne knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

The room was nice and warm from the hearth blazing behind the desk where Alistair sat hunched over his desk writing. He wore a loose fitting white tunic opened in the front, the lacing undone low on his chest revealing golden chest hair. His formal attire was hung on a nearby stand, it was slightly damp which told her he must have changed out of them specifically for her visit.

She stood near the door and half bowed. “Your Majesty.”

Alistair halted his writing and sighed. “Is that how it’s going to be?”

“You are a king, are you not?”

He looked up and set down his quill. “I thought we were also friends. We were once something more.”

Rayne didn’t say anything, only continuing to stare at him, keeping her face passive.

He shook his head and motioned to the chair in front of his desk. “Please. Sit. You have had a long and wet journey and no doubt you’re tired.”

“If you were concerned with my well-being, you would have waited until tomorrow to speak with me.” She said matter-of-factly.

Alistair frowned. “You mean allow you a night alone with Commander Cullen.” It wasn’t a question.

“Where I sleep is none of your concern, king or not.”

“Rayne, will you please sit?” She could tell he wanted to get away from the current conversation topic.

Finally she rolled her eyes, shut the door and went to the chair, sat and crossed her legs. “I came here to talk about the people you promised to send us.”

Alistair diverted his eyes acting as if something in the room caught his attention. “I am. It takes time…”

“And that’s bullshit!” She finally snapped.

He clenched his jaw.

Her lip attempted to curl, but she forced it to remain still. “You forget, I led an army. So has Commander Cullen. We’re not idiots. It does _not_ take two months to gather what people we’ve asked for. Don’t insult my intelligence.”

Alistair didn’t give any response.

“All this is, is your childish plot to keep Cullen here.”

“Childish…” He started.

“Yes, childish.” She cut in. “That’s the problem with you, _Your Majesty_ , you resort to these antics when something doesn’t go your way. That’s how it’s always been when it came to anything concerning me. Does the Inquisition… all of Thedas need to pay for your inability to act? All because I’m sharing another mans bed!”

She was unable to contain the volume of her voice at the end, causing Alistair to flinch. Or perhaps her words cut closer than he was anticipating.

“I put you on that throne, start acting like a blighted king.”

“I never wanted the throne. And I have done the best I can.”

“Until it hits too close to home for you.” She said more calmly. “Then you revert back to the boy I met at the beginning of the Blight.”

He looked down, his jaw clenching and unclenching. “What do you want from me, Rayne?” He asked softly.

She raised an eyebrow. “What do I want? You _know_ what I want.”

Alistair looked back up, his eyes pained. “You want something from me that I can’t give.”

“Can’t? Or won’t?”

“A little of both.”

“Well, you need to. Unless you want to burn the bridge of friendship too.” She let her words just hang in the air.

They were both silent for a short time, her allowing him to think about the consequences of his actions. Both for Thedas and for them.

Finally he sighed and stood. “You’re right. I was acting like a child and the Inquisition is the one that has paid the price of that.” He came around to the other side of the desk to stand in front of her and lean against the desk. “I’m sorry. I’ll make sure the people the Inquisitor needs are sent out.”

“They need to be sent to Skyhold instead of the Approach. The Inquisitor hasn’t made it to there yet.” She stood and smoothed out her shirt. “I thank you, Your Majesty, for your time. If all goes according to plan, Commander Cullen and I will be leaving in a few days.” She bowed and pivoted around.

She managed to make it to the door before Alistair came up behind her and blocked her exit with his hand resting on the closed doors. “Wait, we’re not done.”

“Yes, we are.” She said without turning around and grabbed the door handle.

Alistair grabbed her wrist. “Rayne.” His breath caressing the side of her neck, telling her he was far too close for her liking.

“Your Majesty.” She said as warning.

“Not once this entire time have you actually said my name.” He said softly. She could now feel his lips move against her skin as he spoke.

Wanting to keep from hurting him – at least physically – she went with the only thing she knew would stop him from going any further. “I’m pregnant.”

That stopped him short, his body went rigid and the grip on her wrist tightened.

“Let go.” She hissed. “You’re starting to hurt me.”

He immediately released his hold and stepped back. “You’re… you’re what?”

Rayne closed her eyes briefly and took steadying breath before reopening them and turning to Alistair whose face was filled with shock, disbelief and betrayal.

“I’m pregnant.”

His disbelief crumpled under her gaze, seeing in her face the truth of it. “How…” He licked his lips. “How…”

“If I have to explain to you _how_ a woman ends up pregnant…”

“That’s not what I meant!” He snapped, the anger and betrayal coming forward.

The latter emotion made her shake her head. “Don’t act like this is some betrayal for you. It has been a decade. I’m tired of being nice and understanding. And trying to be gentle. Get over it!”

His frown deepened. “It was that easy for you, was it? Just ‘getting over it’?”

“Easy? No. Especially at the beginning. It was hard leaving like I did. But it needed to be done. You sure as hell weren’t going to do what was necessary. No, you were trying to make it worse! So, just like during the Blight, I had to be the one to made the hard choice and follow through.” She closed the gap between them and shoved her face as close as possible to his. “So don’t act like I betrayed you. I moved on in my life. And it _wasn’t_ easy. But I did it. And I don’t regret it.

“I love him, Alistair, and he loves me. He is a good man, he helped raise your son into the young man he is now. And we’re starting a family together. If you truly ever loved me you would be happy for me instead of trying to make me miserable.” She hadn’t been aware that tears had even formed in her eyes until one escaped and trailed down her cheek, dipping into the edge of her lips.

Alistair’s anger crumpled at the sight of the tear. Pain was still there, but now so was remorse. He diverted his eyes staring intently into the shadowed corner.

Rayne took a step back, allowing him breathing room.

He finally closed his eyes and sighed. “I am glad you’re happy, Rayne.” He said softly. “I want you to be. I just… thought… always hoped you could be happy with me.”

“I was. And still am when we’re not fighting. It’s just…” She rubbed her forehead. “It’s not the happiness you are hoping for.” She watched him as he refused to look back at her. Finally she just sighed and turned back to the door, this time he didn’t stop her. “For what it’s worth, Alistair. I am sorry for how I left. But I would be lying if I said I was sorry for how life is now. It’s time for you to let go and find someone worthy of the love you have to give.

“And they will be lucky to have it… and you.” She opened the door and left.

* * *

 

She thought about going back to Cullen’s room, but decided instead to go walking through the keep since it was still raining buckets outside. Finally she ended up in the kitchens and went to the backdoor. She propped open the door and just watched and listened to the rain, taking in the smell of wet dog.

Rayne smiled. “Ah, Ferelden. How I’ve missed you.”

_“Mamae!”_

She turned and her smile grew as Aiden rushed her. She easily picked him up and hugged him tightly. _“Da’mi.”_ After getting her fill of his hug she gently set him down. “Sweet Andraste, you’ve grown.”

Aiden smiled. “Cullen said the same. Why didn’t you have someone tell me you were here?”

She gave him a pointed look. “I don’t know? Your education seems important.”

He simply rolled his eyes and went to a tray that had freshly made hot pastries.

“Don’t even think about it, young man. The cooks work hard, don’t be a thief. I taught you better than that.”

He retracted his hand and looked at her sheepishly. “Sorry.”

“It’s not me that you should apologize to.” She nodded to the tray. “And just how often do you do that? And knock out your tutor?”

Aiden’s shoulders slumped. “He told you that?”

Rayne crossed her arms. “What is the one thing I always taught you? The one thing I learned as an apprentice, the only thing I still take with me?”

“Knowledge is power.” He said dismally.

She nodded. “Never know. He may know something I don’t.”

Aiden sighed. “I know. Cullen said the same.”

She smirked. “All right then. Lesson of the day over.” She placed a hand on his shoulder. “So tell me: how has your stay been?”

* * *

 

They stood on the balcony looking down into the training yard, watching Aiden and Cole dual. It was interesting to watch Cole trying to learn the new fighting techniques. Everything he knew about fighting, he just naturally had known. Not even he knew how he knew. Perhaps glimpses of memories while in the Fade? Whatever the case, he knew how to wield a blade with the best of them. But even he could learn a few things.

Cullen wrapped his arm around her waist as they watched. “He took the news well then?”

Rayne nodded. “He was actually very excited at the thought of a younger brother or sister.” She smiled as Aiden took Cole’s hand moving it through a motion, showing him how to do it right. “I think he’ll make a good big brother.”

Cullen chuckled. “I agree.”

“Do you think you that wise?” A voice said behind them.

Rayne contained a sighed and she felt Cullen’s hand tighten on her. “What’s that, Your Majesty?” She asked.

“Aiden with…” Alistair came to the other side of her. “The spirit?”

“Cole.” Her eyes ticked over to him. “His _name_ is Cole.” Her eyes went back down.

“No matter what he calls himself, he’s a spirit.”

Finally she turned her head to him. “Given our history during the Blight, I would think you wouldn’t be so prejudiced about spirits.”

Alistair’s eyes darkened with sadness. “Wynne.”

“Exactly. Don’t be so close minded.” She felt Cullen’s body vibrate against hers in a silent chuckle. She gently nudged him with her elbow. “Was there something you needed, Your Majesty?”

He cleared his throat. “The people you requested are on their way to Skyhold, per your request.”

“Skyhold?” Cullen asked.

Rayne turned to him. “Alec hasn’t made it to the Approach. He may already be back at Skyhold with information on the Plains. So can’t send the people there.”

“Ah. Wait, why hasn’t he made it to the Approach?”

“Can we discuss that later?” She turned back to Alistair. “Thank you, Your Majesty.”

He nodded. “So, do you expect to stay much longer?”

“That ready to be rid of us?” She smirked.

Alistair’s eyes briefly ticked to Cullen, so quickly that Rayne questioned if she had actually seen it. He put on a charming smile, “Of course not. I know Aiden would like to see more of you. And perhaps the two of you could stay for the ball.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Ball?”

He sighed and rolled his eyes. “Eamon has been planning this ball, inviting a few nobles from Orlais to help mend bridges between us.”

“Oh, that will be a sight.” Cullen said lightly.

“From what I understand Eamon and the new Emperor specifically chose people that don’t… detest Ferelden as much as others.”

Rayne chuckled. “Bet that was easy.” She said sarcastically. She looked down at Aiden as he picked up a bow and was showing Cole. “When is this ball?”

“Two days.” Alistair said.

She thought a few moments and then turned to Cullen. “What do you think? You’ve been here longer.”

He thought and then smiled. “I think I like the idea of being able to dance with you again.”

“We’ve danced? As I recall, you only _danced_ with Marquis du Serault.”

His grin widened.


	86. Cullen

“I just don’t understand why he insists on announcing me.” Rayne’s voice carried to him from the powder room where she was finishing dressing and putting herself together. “He knows how I hate that.”

Cullen couldn’t help but smirk as he finished tying the deep green satin sash around his waist that had the emblem of the Inquisition at the end, embroidered in gold thread. “Probably as payback for putting him on the throne.” He called back in amusement.

He heard her groan as he made sure his sash was tight enough and then turned it around his waist to have the tail hang off to the side, allowing the Inquisition emblem to rest on his thigh. Once he was happy with the placement he looked at himself in the mirror and was actually happy with what he saw.

Like the rest of Ferelden fashion, he had attire that was functional and practical but still appealing to his appearance. His shirt was a black cloth tunic that was loosely tied in front, hanging down to his thighs and tied with the green sash to show his physique over black cloth lace up pants. Pull on black leather boots that went up to his knees with a folded over cuff.

He was adjusting the cuff of his sleeve making sure it was tight enough to stay in place when he heard the door to the powder room open.

“And I would like to know who he had to whip into a frenzy to get these sized perfectly in two days.” Rayne said coming up behind him.

Cullen turned to her and his mouth gaped open.

She wore a black mini dress with a low cut neckline, traveling nearly down to her middle, showing off her ample bosom. Two slits went to her hips, revealing her long legs beneath. A silver sash was tied around her waist, similar to how his was. But instead of the sword and eye of the Inquisition, hers had the twin griffons in dark blue thread. Her hair was pulled back in a simple tight ponytail.

Rayne fussed at the sash with a frown on her face of annoyance.

“You look… stunning.” He finally said.

“Would be better without this damnable sash.” She grumbled.

He gave her a lopsided smile and reached forward and grabbed her hands to stop her. “You’re beautiful.”

Rayne finally looked up and smiled. “I also think you’re biased.” She said lightly. She went to couch and sat to put on her dark tanned sandals that laced to the knee with a small heel. The humidity from the rains had made everything hot and sticky. Alistair had made sure to make their attire as comfortable and light as possible.

Cullen continued to watch her with an amused smile on his face, his heart full of love for this woman and their child she was carrying.

She halted as she finished securing her straps on the second sandal and looked up at him and gave him a half smile. “What?” She said in amusement.

“I have something for you.” He turned away from her and went to the box on the table that had been sitting there for a week. He knew all the contents inside, but there was only one piece he was currently looking for. When he found what he was looking for he went back to her.

Rayne looked at him quizzically. “What is that?”

A small smile came to his face as he took her arm and began sliding an armlet until it rest snugly on her upper arm. “A piece of something you may remember.”

Once he was finished securing it, he turned her to the full length mirror to get a better look. It was made of rose gold and spiral around her arm, three flowers formed from the band and nestled inside each one was a purple amethyst.

Rayne studied it. “Cullen…” she breathed out. “It’s stunning.” Her eyes narrowed. “Wait… the amethyst. Is that…” She looked up at him in surprise. “The necklace?”

He smiled sadly and ran his thumb over her wrist remembering the piece in question. It was only a few weeks before her Harrowing. He had been on the shore of Lake Calenhad at the only inn within miles of the Tower. Greagoir had sent him there to pick up supplies. A jeweler had been traveling from Orzammar back to Denerim, he had been polishing a necklace with a large dark purple amethyst. When Cullen had seen it he had immediately thought of Rayne.

He was young at the time, and didn’t have a lot of money to spend frivolously. But he had been saving for a specific sword he had been eyeing for years. So, instead of getting his weapon, he had got the necklace for Rayne. The first gift he had ever given her. He gave it to her the day after her Harrowing as congratulation. When she had been taken from the Tower he had regretted not giving into his desires then. At least until Uldred’s attack.

After Rayne and her group had rescued them all she had confronted him. In his anger he turned her away, wanting nothing to do with her. And so she left him, leaving him with the necklace that had acquired a crack through it from all her traveling and fighting, it was almost as if that gem was symbolizing their love. For months before he was sent to Kirkwall he had thought about selling the necklace, or throwing it into the lake. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it; some piece of him wouldn’t let him completely throw what they had away. So he had kept it all these years.

“You kept it.” Rayne said softly drawing him away from his thoughts.

Cullen looked back at her as she stared down at the armlet, her eyes shining with unshed tears, no doubt her own mind drifting to past memories as well. “I did.” His voice cracked slightly. “The crack had grown over the years, so I just…”

She looked up at him and smiled. “I would have thought… after everything…”

He cupped her face in his hand and was about to kiss her when she pulled gently away and went to her bag. She pulled out a small satchel and dug through its contents. She pulled out a long leather cord with a small medallion on the end and slid it over her head before turning back to him.

Cullen’s smile widened as she came back to him as he noticed the coin he had given her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and gently pulled her to him. “Clever.”

Rayne smiled and tilted her head as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “One of my few good traits.”

He lowered his face to hers, allowing their breath to mingle. “One of many.” He said softly before kissing her.


	87. Amell

“Cullen Stanton Rutherford, Commander of the Inquisition Armed Forces.”

His hand reluctantly pulled out of hers as he walked out into the ballroom to stand at the top of the stairs leading down to wait for her introduction.

“Lady Rayne Sydney Amell,” She groaned, silently cursing Alistair for using her full name. Not many knew it, now every noble in Ferelden and a few Orlesians did. “Captain to the Inquisition. Warden-Commander and Arlessa of Amaranthine. Hero of Ferelden and Vanquisher of the Fifth Blight.”

Rayne heard the collective gasps of those below as she stepped forward taking Cullen’s offered arm. Apparently Alistair hadn’t told anyone that she was attending or that she was even in the capital. She had mixed feelings about that, since she didn’t know how she was going to be received. She didn’t leave on the best circumstances.

Dozens of faces stared up at her in what looked like shock.

Cullen leaned close to her ear. “Calm down.” He whispered softly. “I’m with you.”

Rayne hadn’t been aware that her body had gone rigid with panic. She took a deep breath, willing her body to relax and gave Cullen a grateful smile. He smiled back and they descended down the stairs, all the while the eyes of every noble was glued to her. This was precisely what she wanted to avoid at the Winter Palace.

Her eyes scanned the crowd, not only looking for familiar faces but to note the differences she already saw between the Winter Palace and here. Since most were from Ferelden or even the Free Marches, the attire was warm and earthy colors of dark reds, browns, dark greens and the like. Not like the over bearing bright colors of pastels and patterns that offended the senses. Instead of the cream puff dresses and flouncy frilly tunics, they were appropriate to the weather; light and airy due to summer humidity, but Rayne knew they all had coats waiting should the weather turn foul. Ferelden weather was described as a “temperamental mistress. Emotions always changing.” A true born Fereldan came prepared for such changes.

Nearing the bottom of the stairs, a voice rang out. “Ferelden welcomes her hero home!”

Her eyes went to the other side of the room, and a smile came to her face seeing Fergus Cousland, Teyrn of Highever. Highever shared borders with Amaranthine, so Rayne had dealt quite a bit with Fergus during her time there. He was a handsome man with dark chestnut brown hair that was a trademark color of the Couslands with pale green eyes. He had grown out a medium length goatee that was split with a smile.

His family had been victim to the treacherous Rendon Howe, the previous Arl of Amaranthine. Howe had used the Blight in his favor to try and grab power from the Couslands by attacking Highever when all their forces had gone south to Ostagar to fight the darkspawn, with Fergus leading them. Leaving only a few of the household guard with Bryce Cousland, his wife Eleanor, their youngest son Hector, and Fergus’ wife and child.

All who had been in Highever were slaughtered on the spot, or taken and tortured before being killed. Fergus was all that was left of the Cousland line and had been thought dead after the massacre at Ostagar. It wasn’t until after the archdemon was killed that he had been found escaping the Kocari Wilds after being held captive by the Chasind for that entire year, still oblivious that his home was in ruins and his family gone.

Despite everything that had happened he managed to keep his good nature and rebuilt his home and remarried a few years later with a new son. But in their visits together, Rayne had seen the sadness on the edges of his eyes. A pain that he would never let go of, no matter what kind of show he put on.

With Fergus’ proclamation it seemed to ease the rest of the nobles. Small smiles came to faces and as she and Cullen touched down on the floor, those nearest bowed their heads respectfully and split to allow them to pass through the crowd to get closer to the tiered dais where Alistair would enter.

Cullen leaned in close again. “See? You didn’t get mauled or burst into flame.” He said in amusement.

“The night is still young.” She said back.

As they moved through the crowd she saw familiar faces, but many were unknown to her. Which wasn’t surprising, since she didn’t take the time to get to know the nobles during her time in Denerim. She felt she didn’t have to. She was a mere mage, what did they want with her? But even though she didn’t know them, they knew her. Or at least her title.

“Teyrn Cousland.” Rayne said as she and Cullen reached him. “It’s good to see you again.”

Fergus bowed his head. “And you, Rayne.” He smirked. “Or is it _Lady_ Rayne now? Or _Arlessa_ Rayne?”

She rolled her eyes. “Sweet Andraste… no please.” She turned to Cullen. “Allow me to introduce Commander Cullen. Commander this is Fergus Cousland, Teyrn of Highever.”

Cullen offered his hand to Fergus. “Well met, Teyrn Cousland.”

Fergus tilted his head as he took Cullen’s hand. “Ah yes, you sent Inquisition soldiers to Highever for the memorial for the Divine.”

Cullen nodded. “The Inquisitor and myself thank you for your contribution to our forces.”

“Anything to aid in bringing that monster to justice.” Fergus’ eyes ticked to Rayne. “Preferably death.”

She pursed her lips to suppress the smile. Before they could continue the scribe appeared at the door behind the dais.

“All hail! His Royal Majesty! King Alistair Theirin! And his Royal Highness! Prince Aiden Theirin!”

“Doesn’t he share yours and Alistair’s surname?” Cullen whispered.

She sighed. “He does.”

“No doubt Eamon’s doing.” Fergus said over hearing. “Our King’s advisor doesn’t like us nobles to be reminded that the future king is child to a mage.” He smiled at her. “No matter her notoriety.”

Rayne thought a moment. “Fergus… how _did_ Eamon take it when King Alistair claimed Aiden as his own?”

He didn’t answer right away. When he finally did he was choosing his words with care. “He… was pleased that King Alistair now had an heir after so many years. Especially after Cailan was unable to reproduce.”

“But?”

He sighed. “He wasn’t as enthusiastic as the king.”

“Meaning he will try to replace Aiden as heir to the throne should King Alistair remarry and produce another son.” Cullen said in distaste.

Rayne’s jaw clenched in annoyance and anger. She didn’t care if Aiden was heir or not. Her main problem was the fact that Eamon would try to push him out of his father’s life given the chance. Rayne doubted he would succeed. Alistair loved Aiden more than anything. But the fact that Eamon would try rankled her.

As the door opened everyone in the room knelt and bowed their heads. Rayne tilted her head up as Alistair and Aiden entered, and she couldn’t help the small smile that came to her face seeing them. Alistair wore a white tunic with a wide vibrant red sash over his shoulders, tan bracers at his wrists with the two fighting mabari crest of the Theirin line etched into them and dark brown leather breeches with tan boots over them that stopped at the knee. A gold band circlet went around his head. His head was held high and a playful smile on his lips. Rayne remembered when he had first put on the crown and how heavily his head fell from the weight of responsibility on him. But now, he wore it all like one rightfully born to it. And seeing him reminded her of why she had first begun falling for him years ago.

Aiden wore similar matching attire. The only difference was his circlet was a thinner band and no bracers. And glittering on his tunic was the lion pin that Cullen had gifted him. No doubt Alistair hadn’t been pleased by that addition.

Alistair raised his arms. “Rise.” His eyes scanned over the people as they all rose, falling on her. “Today is a glorious day. Not only are we celebrating Emperor Gaspard’s rise to the Orlesian throne with our allies, but we are celebrating the return of Ferelden’s hero.” He stretched out his hand to her. “My Lady?”

Rayne gritted her teeth. Cullen gave her a reassuring squeeze of her arm before she pulled away from him and went to her awaiting king.

Alistair took one step down to her and took her hand to lead her up with him to stand at his side with Aiden on the other. “For far too long Warden-Commander Amell has been gone. I, for one, feel safer already with her back home and fighting with the Inquisition.”

She tried not to fidget under so many eyes watching her. She made a mental note to beat Alistair at a later time. Rayne also couldn’t help but be amused by the fact that she had faced down a horde of darkspawn, an archdemon, a talking brood-mother, dragons and other monstrosities, but it was a crowd of people that was her undoing.

Alistair continued, “The Inquisition stands as a shining light during this dark time. Our Divine murdered by a monster that we cannot even begin to understand. Inquisitor Trevelyan not only stands as Herald of Andraste herself, by as a herald of a new day. A day with Corypheus dead for his crimes, a day that will begin a new age of change. For our world will never be the same.

“We must now all stand together to be able to hold against this new enemy and the fanatics he has called to his side.” He motioned to Cullen to join them. “Commander Cullen leads our military might against this foe.” He paused as Cullen stood beside Aiden, and he smiled. “And I would not trust this feat to any other man.”

A roaring applause washed over them all.

Alistair allowed the praise to continue a few moments longer before raising his hands in silence. He grinned. “Now that the ceremony bit is done.” He said lightly, garnering smiles and soft chuckles. “Drink. Dance. And enjoy the evening.” He turned to her and stretched out his arm to indicate they should descend.

Rayne shook her head and went back to the dance floor with Alistair behind her and Cullen and Aiden in tow.

A serving girl quickly arrived to offer them all drinks, which they gratefully took.

Rayne waited until the girl was gone before turning to Alistair. “Was that really necessary?”

Alistair took a drink of his wine. “I thought you would appreciate the gesture to the Inquisition.” He said innocently. A noble nearby caught his attention, turning him away.

She rolled her eyes and turned to Aiden and smiled. “You look fit to the role of prince.”

Her son’s cheeks turned pink. “I don’t know about that.”

“She is quite right, Your Highness.” A new voice cut in.

Rayne and Cullen turned to this new intruder to find a woman with long golden blonde hair and green eyes. She wore a dark red off the shoulder dress. She had a pretty full face with her lips painted in light pink. Lips that were in a small smile that most would take as pleasant, but Rayne felt it was malicious.

The woman looked down to Aiden who fidgeted under her gaze. “You are part of a great line, and you definitely look as if you belong.” Her eyes ticked over to Rayne. “Despite your… lineage.”

Rayne’s eyes narrowed. “And who are you?”

The woman giggled and bowed. “Please, forgive my rudeness. I should start with an introduction. I forget, you fled some time ago.”

Rayne had to bite her tongue.

“I am cousin to Bann Kail, Lady Christine.”

“A cousin to a Bann?” Cullen said with a raise of his eyebrow. “Then I doubt the Hero of Ferelden would have known you anyway.” He gave a charming smile. “Even being gone.”

Annoyance sparked in Christine’s eyes, but she didn’t drop her smile. “Indeed.” She said tartly. “But, please, forgive me. I need to speak with our king.” She moved around Rayne in a flourish. “We have become quite close, our king and I.”

Rayne rolled her eyes as Christine danced around her to find Alistair.

Aiden’s face screwed in disgust. “I dislike her.”

She chuckled. “What? Not a good potential step-mother?”

“Blech!”

Both she and Cullen laughed.

* * *

 

The night played out much the same after that. Rayne spoke with many nobles who knew her during her time as Arlessa, surprised that quite a few saw her still as Arlessa of Amaranthine, including Fergus. She made note to talk to Alistair about appointing someone else. She received great amusement watching the swarms of women flocking not only to Cullen this time around, but also Alistair. But she couldn’t help but wonder how many of the women vying for Alistair’s attention were trying to win his heart, or his crown. And it saddened her that the latter was more likely.

Aiden stayed by her side a good portion of the night as fidgety as she was. He was definitely uncomfortable in this setting.

“You know,” she finally said. “I bet your father wouldn’t mind if you left for the night. It’s getting late and you look tired.”

He tried to stifle a yawn. “I’m fine.”

She raised an eyebrow.

He sighed. “I just… want to spend as much time with you as possible before you leave.”

She smiled. Ignoring her dress and the looks she was getting, she crouched. “I’m going to miss you too.” She said softly and brought a hand to his cheek and gently rubbed it. “I’ll spend all day with you tomorrow, and we’ll be leaving the next day. So you should get some sleep before then.”

Aiden gave her a small smile before nodding and going to his father having to swim through the dresses of women.

“Finally sending him to bed?”

Rayne turned to Cullen. “Yeah. Finally escape your fans?”

He sighed. “I don’t understand women.”

“Woman. Right here.”

He gave her a coy smirk. “I stand by my statement.”

Rayne gave him a playful smack on the arm and turned back to Alistair and Aiden as their son moved back through the throng of women, throwing her a nod before heading to the door leading to the royal quarters.

Cullen’s hand slid into hers. “Come with me.” He gently tugged her through the people.

“Cullen,” she said in amusement. “Where are we going?”

“Don’t worry.”

She simply shook her head and followed after. He led her to dual glass doors. He looked around before throwing the doors open and led her through out to a balcony.

Her breath caught as she took in everything as Cullen went back to close the doors. The moon was orange, hanging low in the sky, nearly full and casting down a warm glow on the balcony illuminating the stone railing with vines twining over it.

She turned back to Cullen as he left the doors open enough to allow music to reach them. “And how did you know about this particular balcony?”

He smiled coyly. “One of the… ladies mentioned bringing me out here.”

She chuckled. “How kind of her.”

“I’ll be sure to thank her later.” He half bowed and offered his hand. “May I have this dance, my lady?”

She smiled and shook her head. She couldn’t help but study him under the moonlight and how he looked very regal. Like a noble out in the ballroom, or a prince. She gave him her hand and he gently pulled her to him, bringing her into an intimate embrace.

“So, I was thinking.” He said as they began moving to the music. She was acutely aware of the feel of his thighs rubbing against hers. “I think we should stop in South Reach on our way back to Skyhold.”

“I’m surprised you want to visit there now that I’m here.”

Cullen smiled. “Truthfully, I want to go now more that you’re here.”

Rayne tilted her head. “Why?”

He spun her around. “I want you to meet my family. More importantly… I want them to meet _you._ ”

“Why?” She said in amusement. “Want them to meet the Hero of Ferelden?”

He shook his head. “I want them to meet Rayne Amell.” He grinned. “Sorry. I mean Rayne _Sydney_ Amell.”

She groaned.

 He smiled softly. “I want them to meet the most important person in my life. The woman I love, who I’m starting a family with.”

She studied him and saw his earnestness. “It’s really important to you, isn’t it?”

He lowered his head to hers and pressed their foreheads together. “More than you realize.”

Rayne closed her eyes just allowing herself to be lost in the feeling of being enveloped by him. One arm tightly around her waist made her feel safe and secure. Their hands holding onto the others as he led her slowly around the balcony. Their faces so close she could smell the sweet wine on his breath.

“Alright.” She finally said, opening her eyes to look into his golden ones.

His smile widened and then abruptly spun her out away from him and pulled her back. Laughter erupted from her as she nearly fell forward onto him with the momentum that she wasn’t prepared for. But Cullen was ready and braced himself to catch her, one of her legs in the process nearly wrapping around his.

He held her there for a time, simply staring into her eyes with a smile of pure love on his face that was glowing in the moonlight.


	88. Amell

“You alright Cole?” She asked.

They were only about an hour outside of the village in South Reach that Cullen’s family had been living. They had left early that morning to reach it before nightfall. Rayne had been loath to leave Denerim. Leaving Aiden had been hard, not just for her but for Cole too; she hadn’t realized the depth of their friendship. They were more like brothers it seemed. And ever since leaving, Cole had been quiet. Well, more quiet than usual. He was usually asking questions, and it worried her that he was silent.

She felt Cole nod behind her. “I miss Aiden.”

Rayne looked at him over her shoulder. “I’m sorry, Cole.” She smiled. “I’m sure the Inquisitor misses you and your help.”

He tilted his head causing the shadows from his hat blocking out the sun to shift but said nothing else.

She mentally sighed in defeat and turned her attention back to the road ahead. Cullen road beside her, she noted how stiff he was and knew he was nervous about his upcoming reunion. It had after all been over a decade since he saw his family, and since then he had barely wrote to them.

Despite the current mood of the group, the day was bright. The storms they had been having were now moving west across the plains, which allowed them to make good time on their journey. So it wasn’t long before they arrived at their destination.

The village sat at the base of the Southron Hills, from where it was the lush green trees of the Brecilian Forest could be seen. Rayne wondered if any Dalish still traversed there after the Blight. She knew Merrill’s clan had moved on north to the Free Marches after the Blight, but did not know what happened to them after Keeper Marethari’s death.

The village was surrounded by a massive wooden wall, the tops carved into jagged points and one watchman near the only gate. But as soon as they were seen more joined the lone guard and the gate slowly opened and two men wielding weapons walked out to meet them.

Cullen frowned and reined in his horse. “You may want to dismount.” He said softly. “I’m not liking the hostility I see.”

Rayne stopped Elgar allowing Cole to dismount and she followed suit. “Who knows what they’ve been through since this all began.”

“Mages. Templars. All animals.” Cole whispered. “They’re afraid.”

She looked over at Cullen. “I thought you said they hadn’t had any trouble this far south?”

“That’s what Mia said.” He dismounted and slowly led his horse forward with Rayne and Cole in tow.

“Small groups away from the village.” Cole whispered. “No attacks here.”

Cullen waved them to stay where they were and he went to meet the men. “Well met!”

Rayne stood beside Elgar watching the exchange, now unable to hear anything. She fidgeted with her necklace, rubbing the silver coin as the guards studied Cullen and talked a short time. Finally one broke out in a smile and he clasped Cullen on the shoulder. She saw the tension in his shoulders slacken, but only marginally.

“Any hint as to what is being said, Cole?” She whispered.

“The man with the mace is an old family friend.” He said. “He knew Cullen.” He paused. “Cullen is trying to convince them to let us in.”

“Why wouldn’t they?”

“Because he is a Templar. And you are a mage. The villagers will be afraid.”

“But we’re part of the Inquisition.” She mumbled.

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck, she could see him struggling to make a good argument.

“Perhaps I should…” Rayne took a step forward.

Cole grabbed her arm.

She turned to him. “What?”

He shook his head. “No, you shouldn’t. Cullen wants us to stay here.”

Her eyes went back to Cullen and she sighed in defeat and crossed her arms contenting herself to wait. Finally Cullen shook hands with the man with the mace and came back to her and Cole.

“They’re a little…” Cullen started.

“Paranoid?” Rayne offered.

He gave her a pointed look. “Can you blame them? The whole world is going mad.”

She shrugged. “Fair enough. So, are we being let in?”

He nodded and his eyes went to Elgar. “So long as you let Elgar run free until we leave.”

She sighed. “Fine.” They spent the next half hour removing Elgar’s armor before setting him off. “He needs to hunt anyway. It’s been a few days.”

The trio went to the gate where the man with the mace – which he now had sheathed – waited. “Welcome. Names William.” He nodded to Cullen. “Him, I know. You, on the other hand, are a stranger here. And mage.”

“William…” Cullen said in a slightly warning tone.

Rayne put a hand on his arm. “It’s fine. You have nothing to worry about with me, Ser. You have my word that while within your walls I won’t cast any magic.”

William narrowed his eyes and studied her. “Have you been here before?”

“No, Ser. Last time I was around this part of Ferelden…” She paused and smiled. “It’s been many years.”

He hummed in thought and finally nodded. “Very well.” He turned to Cullen. “Your family has set up a stead on the far end of the valley. I’m sure you’ll find Mia and Rosalie there.”

“And Branson?’ Cullen asked.

“Workin’ the fields.” William gave him a smile. “You sure grew up from the scrawny bundle of curls.”

Cullen’s cheeks turned pink and he chuckled nervously.

Rayne chuckled and took his hand. “Come on. Before you lose your resolve.” She teased. “You knew Cullen when he was a boy?” She asked William.

William nodded and looked over his shoulder at them. “Aye. Nothing more than a bean pole and a mound of yellow curls that were usually dark with mud.” He smiled. “You shoulda seen ‘im then. Runnin’ wild through the village chasin’ after mabari pups.”

Rayne laughed and looped her arm through Cullen’s to lean her head against him. “I can just picture a baby Cullen squealing in delight chasing pups.”

Cullen groaned in mock dismay. “I’m already regretting this.”

She grinned. “I get to learn all about your past. This should be fun.”


	89. Cullen

As they got closer to the farmstead that William directed them to – leaving them to return to his post at the gate – the more Cullen got nervous. He didn’t know what made him more nervous: Rayne meeting his family for the first time, seeing them again after so long, or Cole’s desire to run off to help as many people as he could. Rayne finally had to latch onto Cole to keep him put.

Finally a house came into view. It was a rather large spread of land at the base of the surrounding hills with a fence circling it all to keep some of the roaming animals he saw inside. Despite South Reach being hit hard during the Blight, the land was healing better than it was further south towards the Kocari Wilds. Two houses and a stable sat in the center, one house bigger than the other but both in good shape. From his letters from Mia the biggest house was where she and Rosalie lived with her husband who was currently off serving in the King’s army. Whereas Branson lived in the smaller house.

They stopped at the gate, Cullen just stood there taking in the scene. The last time he had seen them all they had still been near Honnleath, he wondered how much they all had changed. Had they changed at all? Or would it be just him that changed? Battle hardened and scarred in more ways than one.

“Cullen?”

Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked over at Rayne as she took his hand.

He gave her a smile. “I guess I’m more nervous than I thought I was going to be.”

She gave him a reassuring smile. “Don’t be. They’re your family, and they’ve missed you.” Her eyes went back to the house and her smile grew. “Is that Mia?”

Cullen followed her gaze.

Outside the house was a line of clothing dancing in the breeze. And there slowly taking them down was a face he hadn’t seen in over a decade. Mia was a few years older than he was, the eldest out of the four Rutherford children, with blonde hair that matched his own done up in a long braid that laid over her shoulder. He couldn’t see them from his distance, but he knew that she had amber eyes. All of the Rutherford children shared those two characteristics except for Rosalie who had their mother’s blue eyes.

Cullen’s eyes grew as he took in her full appearance and his sister’s pregnant belly.

He took a deep breath and opened the latch of the gate and went in with Rayne and Cole following. He stopped a short distance away from Mia so as to not scare her. “Mia?” He said cautiously.

Mia caught a stay lock of her golden hair and tugged it behind her ear before turning to him. “Yes? Can I help you?”

He cleared his throat, acutely aware of eyes on him. He went closer to her.

She narrowed her eyes. “What can I…” Her eyes widened and she dropped the shirt she had been holding. “Cullen?” She gasped out.

Cullen gave her a lopsided childish smile. “Hello Mia.”

She cried out in joy and ran to him as quickly as her body would let her. “Dear Maker!” She threw her arms around his neck, having to stand on the tips of her toes to do so. “Cullen!”

He laughed and wrapped his arms around her, forcing himself not to squeeze too tightly. Her hair blew into his face, tickling his nose as he breathed in earthy scents of dirt and pine.

They held onto each other for a long time before Mia finally pulled away from him and took his face in her hands. “Maker’s breath… let me look at you.”

Cullen simply smiled and allowed her to look him over.

She ran her fingers through some of his hair. “What did you do to your curls?” She said in dismay.

He chuckled and took her hands in his. “I was never fond of them like you were.”

She shook her head and pulled her hands from his, taking a step back to look him up and down. “Look at you.” She said. “You definitely filled out over the years.” She smacked him on the arm that wasn’t protected by armor. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“It was a bit of a spur of the moment decision.”

Mia raised an eyebrow. “Spur of the moment? All the way from the Frostbacks?”

“We were in Denerim.” He explained.

“We?” Her eyes finally went behind him and they widened. “Oh!”

Cullen turned. Rayne stood back with her hands clasped behind her back waiting patiently with a small smile on her face. Cole continued to shift his weight from one foot to the other to keep himself from running off.

Cullen extended a hand to Rayne. “Mia, there is someone I would like you to meet.”

Rayne came forward and took his offered hand.

“Mia!” Another voice cut in.

They all turned to an approaching young girl in her mid-twenties with blonde hair and blue eyes wearing a yellow summer dress with a young child holding her hand by her side. The child was a boy maybe five years old with light brown hair and amber eyes.

“Rosie!” Mia called back, waving her over.

“Rosie?” Cullen said in surprise. Rosalie was the youngest of the group. He remembered the young girl with pigtails and in a flowery dress. The last time he had seen her she had barely been twelve.

Mia smiled at him. “Yeah, she’s grown up since the last time you saw her.”

“So I see.” He mumbled. “The boy… is he…”

Mia’s eyebrows shot up. “Rosie’s? Maker no!” She laughed. “But he is your nephew. Bran’s son.”

Cullen’s jaw nearly dropped. Bran… his little brother was a father? “In all the letters you’ve sent me you never mentioned that Bran had a son.” His eyes went down to her belly. “Or that you were pregnant.”

Mia laughed. “I was more interested in pulling information out of you.” Her eyes went to Rayne. “Is he as stoic with you as he is with me?”

Rayne chuckled. “Oh, most definitely.”

Cullen rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Rosalie, whose dark blue eyes were as big as plates and her hand over her mouth. “Cullen? Is that you?”

Cullen smiled. “You’ve grown up Rosie.”

She squealed in delight and rushed him. Rayne had the forethought to quickly pull away as he caught his baby sister, but he was unable to stop the momentum and they both fell to the ground with an _oof._

He winced as he hit the ground. “It’s nice to see you to, Rosie.” He said in a strained voice

Rosalie lifted herself to look at him with worry. “Oh! Are you alright? I didn’t hurt you did I?”

He gave her a lopsided smile. “I’ve been through worse.”

She shook her head and hugged his neck. “It’s good to see you, big brother.”

Cullen gently patted her back and his eyes went to his nephew as Rosalie rose from him. He sat up, “And what’s your name?”

He tilted her head. “Tobbie.”

“Short for Tobias.” Mia said.

He offered his hand to the boy. “Nice to finally meet you Tobbie.”

He took his hand cautiously. “You’re my Uncle Cullen?”

“I… uh… guess I am.”

“Daddy talks about you. It is true you’re a Templar?”

“I was.” He said and stood. “Now I’m just a soldier.”

Mia snorted. “Just a soldier? You’re a _Commander._ ” Her eyes went to Rayne and she smiled. “In the company of a well-known hero.”

Rayne smirked. “And here I was starting to hope you didn’t know who I was.”

“The black-haired beauty that my dear brother writes about? I figured there are only so many of those in my brother’s company, and only one he would want to bring to meet his siblings.”

Rayne looked at him. “Black-haired beauty?” She asked in amusement.

He felt the heat come to his cheeks. “I never… that is… that doesn’t mean that you’re not… uh…”

Both Mia and Rayne laughed and his sister grabbed his arm. “It’s nice to see that no matter how much you’ve changed on the outside that you’re still the same awkward Cullen.”

He sighed in exasperation.

“Excuse me,” Rosalie said. “Who is she?” She asked indicating Rayne.

Mia blanched. “Oh, well…” She cleared her throat.

“So it’s something that runs in the family, is it?” Rayne teased and then focused on Rosalie. “My name is Rayne. Rayne Amell.”

Mia winced, a reaction that baffled Cullen until he was Rosalie’s eyes widen and she took steps away from Rayne.

“Amell?” She continued backing away. “The Hero of Ferelden?”

Cullen frowned at the tone of fear and revulsion in her voice.

“Rosie…” Mia started.

Rosalie glared at Rayne. “A vile mage!”

* * *

 

He rubbed the back of his neck as he entered the guest room that Mia had said they could use, with Cole in an adjoining room beside them. He had just finished helping calm Rosalie down after she found out Rayne was a mage, and talking to Mia about the cause.

Cole sat on the bed facing the window where Rayne sat on the windowsill with one leg hanging out.

“I bet that wasn’t the reunion you were anticipating.” She said not looking his direction.

He sighed and looked to Cole. “Cole, can you leave us for a bit?”

The boy nodded and jumped from the bed. “I’ll be outside.”

“Try to stay out of trouble.” He called behind him before shutting the door. “I need to explain.”

“No need.” She finally turned her head to look at him. “Cole told me.”

“Of course he did.” Cullen mumbled.

“Don’t be angry at him.” Rayne chastised. “He can’t help what he is, and Rosalie was practically screaming at him with the amount of fear coming off her.” She shrugged and turned back away. “A friend of hers had been attacked by mages?”

“That’s not the entire story.” He grabbed a chair and pulled it to the window to be close to her. “That’s just how she sees it. A few months back a group of mages were traveling through. A small hunting group from the village ran into them and they decided to set up camp together. Strength in numbers and all that.

“During the night rogue Templars attacked the camp killing all the mages except one that managed to get away. As for the hunting party… the Templars took it upon themselves to punish them accordingly for harboring mages. For the most part it was a series of lashes and beatings… except for the girl in the party.” He stopped and looked away. “You can imagine what they did with her.”

Rayne was quiet and then sighed. “Yeah, I can.”

Cullen licked his lip scar. “Rosie… she blames the mages for it happening. No matter what anyone else tells her.”

Rayne turned to him and shrugged. “I’m used to the feeling.”

He frowned. “You shouldn’t.”

She gave him a lopsided smile. “That is the world we live in, _vhenan._ ” She took a deep breath and threw both her legs back into the room and hopped from the window. “Perhaps I should leave.”

“No.” He took her hand and gently pulled her to him, sitting her on his lap. “I brought you here to meet my family… so they could meet you. The mother of my child. I want them to meet the most important person in my life.”

Rayne’s face softened and she kissed his forehead. “Alright.”

He smiled. “It just means we get to try and convince Rosie that you’re a wonderful and gentle person.”

She gave him a mischievous smile.

“What?”

She rose from his lap and then sat back down, this time straddling him. “Gentle?” She kissed him deeply, her tongue sliding into his mouth.

He felt her grind against him, the action and kiss causing him to moan into her mouth. Her hands moved over the plate on his chest going to the straps at his shoulders that held it in place. She finally pulled their lips apart and started unbuckling his armor.

“Of course, they don’t know you like I do.” His voice husky. His eyes went to the door of the room. “I’m not so sure this is the best place for this.”

With one final tug the plate on his chest came loose. Rayne leaned forward bringing her lips to his ear. “No?” She asked low and nibbled on his earlobe.

He shook with the contact as she pulled back away and grabbed his chest plate and tossed it to the floor with a clatter. “We’re not alone in this house.” He said, trying to control his body.

Her hands went to the armor at his arms and made quick work of removing them. “Don’t want people to hear?”

“Preferably not.” He watched as her hands went to his coat and slid it down his arms.

She hummed in thought. “Don’t suppose you think we can keep quiet?”

He smirked at her. “You’re not really known for your ability to be quiet.”

She started on his belt. “And here I thought you liked me loud.”

He chuckled. “I do. Just not where my family can hear.”

“Oh, alright.” She said, but continued on his belt. “But I doubt you want to stay in your armor.” She tugged on the belt loosening it.

“Why do I get the feeling this is more for your benefit than for mine?” He said lightly as he leaned back allowing her access to his under coat.

Rayne put on her best pouting mixed with hurt face, her hands easily unbinding his coat and then traveled down his abdomen to his groin, adding only a small amount of pressure feeling his growing arousal. “I would never.”

Cullen’s head went back and he hissed as she continued to rub him through his breeches. “Rayne…” he said through gritted teeth willing his body to stay put and not encourage her.

She chuckled and grinded against him one last time before standing. “Alright. I’ll stop torturing you now.”

He gave a sigh of relief and looked up at her. “You’re an evil woman.” His voice caught as he watched her unlace her bodice.

Her eyes smoldered as she tugged the bodice over her head freeing her breasts. “I think that’s one of the reasons you love me.” She tossed her top over to a corner, and then exited to the powder room.

Cullen groaned low. It was going to be a long night.


	90. Amell

She stood in the living room looking into the kitchen with a smile on her face as she watched Cullen and Mia cooking. According to Mia, Cullen had loved being in the kitchen with her and their mother when he was a boy. He watched everything they did, constantly asking questions and then finally wanting to try himself. Cullen admitted to Rayne that it was something he kept on after he left to join the Templars. Or at least tried to. It was difficult to work on culinary skills between weapons training and studies.

Cullen laughed at something Mia said and gave her a playful nudge. It was such an anomaly to Rayne that she almost burst out laughing. But she managed to hold her tongue. He looked up from the dough he was kneading and smiled at her as if he knew what she was thinking. She smiled back and nodded before turning away and going into the living room where Tobbie was sitting on the floor playing with a wooden craving of a bear and deer.

Rayne crouched near him, balancing on the balls of her feet. “Do they have names?”

Tobbie looked up at her. “The deer is Sarah, the bear is Orion.”

She smiled. “Pretty names. I actually know a Sera, hope yours has better manners.”

He giggled. “Auntie Mia made sure she does.” She tilted her head. “Do you have dolls?”

“Can’t say that I do. Never had any growing up.” She smiled. “And my son was never much into them.”

“You have a son?”

Rayne looked up to find Mia at the doorway. “I do. He’s a few years older than Tobbie though.”

Mia wiped her hands on a towel and smirked. “Given his age I guess I don’t have to ask if he’s Cullen’s. You left him back at Skyhold I take it?”

She shook her head. “No. He’s in Denerim with his father.” She gave Mia a one-sided smile. “Are you telling me that you really don’t know who my son is?”

“Why would I? Cullen hasn’t told me.”

Rayne mentally sighed and stood. “Seems Eamon’s wish to keep his parentage a secret seems to be succeeding.”

Mia looked at her in confusion. “Eamon? As in the Arl of Redcliffe?”

“Past Arl. But yes. My son’s name is Aiden. His father’s is Alistair.”

Mia’s mouth gaped open.

Rayne smirked. “Yes, _that_ Alistair and Aiden.”

“And how much blood magic did you have to perform to get him on the throne?”

She frowned and turned to the front door where Rosalie stood with her arms crossed over her chest, glaring daggers at her.

“Rosie!” Mia snapped.

Rayne raised her hand to indicate everything was fine. She put on a sweet smile that nearly made her teeth rot. “None. It helped that I was the commanding Grey Warden in the fight against the archdemon though.”

Rosalie sniffed and entered the room, but she made sure to steer clear of getting too close to Rayne. “Bran will be late tonight. But not too much later.”

“Well, that gives us time to finish making dinner.”

Rosalie gave Rayne a sharp smile. “Why doesn’t the mage help? I’m sure she could make quick work on cooking with her magic.”

Rayne took a deep breath and turned away.

“Because Cullen wanted to help me. Now, if I leave will you behave?” Mia asked sarcastically.

“Of course.” Rosalie said.

Rayne’s eyes fell on a dagger that hung above the hearth on a wooden plaque. It was a beautiful piece. A long curved blade that looked to have a razor edge. The hilt was gold encrusted with blood red rubies and runes etched in with silver.

She felt Rosalie come up behind her. “Family heirloom. The last thing we have left from our father.”

Cullen had told her on their trip to the village about his parents and how they had died during the Blight. He didn’t go into great detail, but she felt that he hated the fact that he wasn’t able to see them one last time before they died.

She remembered when she first arrived in Honnleath after acquiring a golem control rod from a traveling salesman that would lead to one of her close friends Shale. She remembered how it was the stench that they first noticed, the smell of burning flesh, smoke and underneath that the smell of decay. Corpses hung from wooden beams by the neck as well as littering the ground. Only a handful managed to survive the attack thanks to a mage that lived in the village. And Rayne couldn’t help but wonder if Cullen’s parents had been in Honnleath before she arrived.

“It’s a very unique blade. Made for _your_ kind.” Rosalie’s voice cut into her melancholy.

“And how’s that?”

“Those runes make it so when used on a mage that it breaks any and all spells that they cast before killing them.”

Rayne looked at her and smirked. “You do realize that killing a mage does that, whether the blade is enchanted or not.” She paused. “Of course, that’s if there is no external power source giving the spell energy. Then not even a magical blade will break that. Kill the source. Kill the spell.”

“What’s this about spells?”

“Papa!” Tobbie squealed and rushed to the front door.

Rayne and Rosalie turned.

A man that Rayne could only assume was Branson entered. From what she understood, Branson – or Bran as he preferred to be called according to Mia – was only a year younger than Cullen and it was hard not to see the similarities. His blonde hair was currently dripping wet and slicked back into a ponytail that hung down to his shoulders, but the tips were already starting to curl. He had muscles born from years working a plow instead of a sword. A short goatee formed around his lips that were split in a grin as he scooped up Tobbbie and spun them both in a circle causing the boy to squeal in delight.

“How is my Pup today?” He asked and rubbed his face into his neck blowing air.

Tobbie giggled and pushed him away. “You’re wet, Papa!”

“You’re Aunt Mia would bury me if I wasn’t.” He said in amusement. His eyes finally went to Rayne. “And who is this lovely lady?”

“She’s Uncle Cullen’s friend.” Tobbie answered promptly.

Bran blinked rapidly and turned his attention back to his son. “Uncle Cullen?”

“Come and meet the apostate that our dear brother brought home, Bran. I’ll go get Cullen.” Rosaline said and went to the kitchen.

Bran’s eyes followed her out with a frown of disapproval on his face. He shook his head and put Tobbie back on the floor. “Excuse my sister. Apparently she was raised by hyenas.” His smile returned and came closer offering his hand. “Proper introductions are in order I believe. I’m Bran.”

Rayne smiled and took his hand in greeting. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Rayne.”

His eyes lit up. “Ah, now that explains it. And here I was just hoping you _were_ just a friend of my brother’s.”

“And why’s that?” She asked in amusement as he finally released her hand.

“Because now it will be even more of a challenge to win your heart.” He grinned.

Rayne laughed.

“You’ll have to go through me first, brother.” Cullen said.

Bran’s smile grew. “I’m sure I can take you on.”

Cullen shook his head with a smile on his face. The two embraced one another in a rough hug. Seeing them now together, Rayne noted how Cullen was taller than Bran, but only barely so.

“Welcome home, brother.” Bran said.


	91. Cullen/Amell

They had all long since finished the dinner that he had helped prepare. Now they were working on dessert – which consisted of his favorite Ferelden treat, apple tarts – while talking. Cullen was constantly switching back and forth between embarrassment and joy at the stories his siblings spun for Rayne of their youth. But her peals of laughter made up for his embarrassment.

The night was going perfectly. Or at least it would have been, if it wasn’t for Rosie sulking in her seat the entire time barely touching her food or talking. His eyes would tick inconspicuously over to her every now and then and noticed the looks of distrust she shot at Rayne when she thought no one was watching. On more than one occasion Bran and Mia suggested she just retire for the night, but she was stubborn and remained.

To her credit, Rayne didn’t let Rosie’s attitude dampen her spirits. It was easy for her to simply ignore the glares and have the venomous words roll off of her. As Rayne had said: she was used to be treated like a pariah or worse. As much as Cullen hated that being the case, he was also slightly glad of it at the moment.

Cullen was amazed by how quickly Mia took to Rayne. They had been passing jokes from the get-go, and finding ways of teasing him endlessly. It was as if they had known each other for years, and Mia was already treating her like family. Every so often Mia would shoot a knowing smile to him before turning her attention back to whatever Bran would be saying.

As for Bran, he was an endless flirt and charmer. Cullen had teased that was why he had none of his own; his brother had inherited it all. It probably helped that Tobbie was enamored with Rayne. She was a natural with children, had been since her time at the Tower. She had usually been the one to help the newest initiate mages when they arrived at the Circle. And having raised Aiden had helped.

Cullen shook his head as he cut into his tart, heat coming to his cheeks at the story Bran was telling.

“He had been so proud of his catch that it didn’t even faze him that he was stark naked holding his prize at the front door.” Bran was grinning ear to ear. “A nice view not for only those of us _in_ the house, but no doubt for every passerby outside.”

Rayne laughed and turned her face to Cullen, a warm smile on her face. Her fingers went to his forehead and moved one of his stray curls back, his time cooking with Mia had had him sweating and curls popping up in the front. “Oh, I think they thought it an adorable sight. I think I would have.” She teased.

Mia laughed. “Oh yes, Honnleath’s mayor wanted to award him the ‘Most Adorable Tush’ award.”

Cullen felt his blush go down to his neck. “Maker’s Breath.” He mumbled as he shoved the piece of tart into his mouth.

“Have you ever been to Honnleath, Rayne?” Rosie abruptly asked gaining the attention of them all.

The edges of Rayne’s lips slightly dipped. “Only once.” She said hesitantly.

Rosie gave a knowing nod as she took a bite of her dessert. “Ah, yes, during the Blight.”

Cullen’s jaw clenched.

“And, on that note,” Bran said standing. He went over to where Tobbie sat barely keeping his eyes open. “I’ll take this one up to bed.”

“No, Papa.” Tobbie half whined as he picked him up and cradled him in his arms.

Bran gave a half smile of amusement. “I’ll be back.” He turned to Mia. “Don’t suppose you’d be willing to break out some wine for the rest of non-pregnant folks?”

Mia rolled her eyes. “Fine. But I want to clean these dishes first.” She rose slowly holding her lower back.

“I’ll help.” Rayne said standing and started collecting plates that were empty.

Mia waved her off. “Non-sense. You’re a guest.”

Rayne snorted. “Please, it’s the least I could do. Go on.”

“Best not to argue with her, Mia.” Cullen said waving his fork at Rayne. “She’s as stubborn as the rest of us.”

Rayne stuck her tongue out at him in a childish way.

Bran laughed. “Good to know.” He spun about. “Come on, Pup.”

Cullen heard Tobbie feebly resist. He went back to finishing his dessert as Rayne and Mia went to the kitchen where a tub full of water was waiting to be used.

“So, what did you think of Honnleath?” Rosie called, seemingly intent on continuing the conversation.

Cullen shot her a glare, but she seemed unperturbed.

The only sound that came from the kitchen was the clatter of dishes. But he saw Mia and Rayne through the window in the wall that separated the rooms. Rayne cracked her neck and licked her lips, displays of her discomfort.

“It was a cozy place.” Rayne said hesitantly. “If it wasn’t for it state at the time.”

Rosie finally looked up from her plate. “Does it bother you that you could have saved the village, even possibly _our_ parents?”

Anger flared in Cullen, he had enough. He slammed down his fork onto the table, the action causing Rosie to jump and look at him wide-eyed. “Enough!” He snapped. “I am tired of the snide comments, glares and prejudices you’ve thrown at her.”

“Cullen…” Rayne said hesitantly.

“No. I’ve had enough of this. I came here wanting to see my family again. But more important to me was that you all meet the woman I love. Who has helped me in ways you wouldn’t even begin to understand.” As if thinking about it triggered it, a headache began to form at the base of his skull. He had noticed it start earlier in the evening, but the anger flaring in him added fuel to the headache and it was moving quickly. “Rayne is part of my life, and will continue to be so. I will not have the mother of my child treated like this.”

Mia’s gasp of surprise and Rosie’s eyes widening even more in surprise.

Before he could replay his words to figure out what had caused the surprise from them the headache hit full on. He groaned and closed his eyes as pressure quickly formed behind his eyes.

“Cullen?” Mia said with concern. Whatever surprise there was before was gone.

“I’m fine.” He said through clenched teeth trying to will his headache away. He pushed out from the table and tried to stand. But dizziness set in and he was forced to sit back down.

“Cullen…” Rayne soft voice was close, causing him to open his eyes but all he saw was a blur. But he knew it was her as soon as one of her hands touched his face and the other nestled at the base of his skull.

“What are you doing?” Rosie nearly shrieked.

“ _Shut up,_ Rosalie.” Bran snapped, he had apparently returned at some point.

“But…”

The hand on the back of his head began to gradually cool until it felt like ice. Cullen gently sighed as the ice on the back and the healing spell Rayne was applying with the other hand slowly worked away the worst of the headache.

“Cullen,” Rayne said softly. “Are you alright?”

He tried opening his eyes again and this time he could make out Rayne in front of him with concern in her eyes. He gave a weak nod. “Better. Thank you.”

She smiled softly and continued her administrations.

His eyes went up. Bran was standing just behind her, Mia at the doorway to the kitchen. Worry etched in their faces. “Really. I’m fine now.”

“What caused that?” Bran asked with a frown on his face.

Cullen’s jaw clenched and his stomach fluttered in nervousness. If there was one thing that he _didn’t_ want to tell them was about his fight with lyrium withdrawal. It was something he hadn’t even told Mia about in their letters.

Luckily Rayne came to his rescue sensing his uneasiness. “Fatigue. It’s been a long few weeks for him in the capital dealing with politics.” She turned her head to Mia and Bran and smirked. “There’s a reason he’s not our diplomat. With the fatigue come headaches.” She turned back to him. “Some sleep should help.”

He gave her a subtle grateful smile.

“Cullen Rutherford.” Mia snapped placing her hands on her hips to glower at him. “Why didn’t you tell us? You should have gone to bed hours ago.”

“I’m fine, Mia. I’ve had to deal with lack of sleep a lot since joining the Inquisition.” Which was partially true.

Mia glared at him. “Go to bed. It’s not like you’ll be leaving tomorrow. We have time to visit.”

“But…” He stammered.

She pointed to the stairs leading up to their room. “Now.”

Cullen all of the sudden felt like a child again under her glare that reminded him of his mothers. He couldn’t help but laugh at that.

Mia raised an eyebrow and looked to Rayne. “The headache scrambled something in there, didn’t it?”

He waved his hand. “No.” He said through chuckles and slowly stood up with Rayne’s help. “It’s just… you reminded me of mother.”

Mia’s face softened. “Well, someone’s got to keep you lot in line.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “But before you go, what’s this about ‘the mother of your child’?”

Cullen smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck.

* * *

 

“Well, that was one way of telling them about me.” Rayne teased as she laid a cold rag over his eyes.

He smirked. “It wasn’t my intent to tell them that way. It just… slipped out.”

She chuckled. “I’ll keep all thoughts to myself with that one.” She shifted slightly, moving his head in her lap to nestle more comfortably.

Cullen sighed in relief as he just allowed the cold to numb the pain. Rayne had offered to heal more of the lingering headache away, but he had wanted to just lie down and wait it out. She had gotten the majority and he didn’t want to have to rely on a healing spell to overcome the pain. But he was grateful for the support she was giving him and helping him however else she could.

“Mia and Bran were pleased.” He said and paused before continuing. “I’m sorry about Rosie.”

“Don’t be.” She said as she sprinkled more ice water across his face, the cold droplets traveled down his face and either down his neck or into his hair. And then he felt her hair spill on either side of his face and the soft weight of her breasts against his head as she bent over his face. “But thank you for defending me.” She kissed the tip of his nose.

* * *

* * *

 The sun was just beginning to rise as she quietly slipped out of the house with Cole right behind her. The world around them was cast in a golden soft glow as the sun worked slowly into the sky to wake the village. Cullen was still fast asleep in bed, she would have been there still if she could have stayed asleep. But last night’s events still rang in her head causing nightmares to surface and making her toss and turn all night. And Cole, since he didn’t sleep much, was waiting for her outside the bedroom door.

They were both silent as they went to the nearest hill and climbed. Rayne just wanted to go somewhere to watch the sunrise. It was something she did while traveling. She did it nearly every day after she left the Tower for the first time. Something that drove Alistair crazy some days. Especially if he had been cuddling with her and was comfortable. But no matter what, she would wake up just before the dawn to watch the sky change colors.

Once they reached the top they both sat in the lush green grass. They simply sat in silence, both staring at the last remnants of the black night sky changed to bruised purple then blue. The rays from the sun shot out from the horizon, golden yellow and nearly blinding, pushing away the blue to change into blood orange and then yellow until it reach the white-yellow of the sun peaking over the hills in the distance.

Rayne pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees and let her mind wander.

The sun was fully over the horizon before Cole finally spoke. “It’s not your fault. It was the darkspawn.”

“Perhaps.” She said softly. She sighed heavily. “If only we hadn’t gotten lost and ended up going north to the Circle instead to Redcliffe… perhaps…”

“And if you had arrived later at the Tower?” Cole interrupted and asked. “What would have happened? To Irving and Gregoir? To Cullen?”

Rayne’s throat constricted at the thought. Cullen was a strong man. Always had been, he had proven that with his resilience to withstand the Desire demon that had tormented him for weeks. But it still had broken him, just in a different way and it had taken years to repair the damage done.

What if she had gone to Redcliffe first? After she would have traveled up to the Frostbacks to Orzammar, and perhaps she could have saved more lives in Honnleath on the way. ‘Could’ being the key word. There was no way of knowing if her arriving there sooner could have saved any more than those that they had. By the time they would have reached the Tower… Would there have been anything left? Everyone there would have either been dead or turned. And Cullen…

“You saved him.” Cole said softly. “You saved them all.”

Rayne took a deep breath and smiled. She leaned her body over and leaned against Cole, allowing him to rest his head on her shoulder. “I was far from alone.”

“You weren’t. But you gave them strength to fight with you.”

“How long have you been away?” A voice came from behind them.

Rayne and Cole separated and turned to see Bran approaching with a small cloth bag thrown over his shoulder and a smirk that was so like Cullen’s it was astonishing.

“Good morning, Bran.” She smiled warmly. “Back to the fields?”

He nodded and stepped beside her. “Got to bring home food and coin. You didn’t answer my question.”

“Dawn.” She turned back to the sun. “We watched the sun rise.”

“Couldn’t sleep, huh?” He dropped down his bag and sat next to her. He leaned forward and looked at Cole. “Who’s this?”

“This is Cole. He’s part of the Inquisition.” Rayne playfully nudged the boy. “And personal friend.”

A ghost of a smile came to Cole’s lips.

Bran didn’t question where he had come from. “I’m glad I was able to catch you. With the way things ended last night…” He smirked. “Other than the news of another niece or nephew, that is.”

She shrugged and played with a blade of grass before breaking it off and then plucking two more blades. “I can’t blame her.” She said as she began looping the blades together. “No more than I blame myself.”

“What do you mean?”

She didn’t answer, instead wanting to focus on her task.

“You blame yourself for what happened to Honnleath?” He asked.

“I… hold a lot of guilt from that time.” She said softly, taking another blade of grass and adding to her chain.

“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.” Bran said slowly as if trying to pick the right words to say. “We’ve all heard the stories of Ostagar. Yes, they vary on the true cause, but the end result is always the same. And what you did… you and King Alistair, is nothing short of a miracle. You were able to save a nation and so many lives. And only with a handful of people. Don’t blame yourself for not being able to be everywhere at once. Not many Fereldans would blame you either. I personally thank you every single night when I put my son to sleep.”

Rayne looked at him out of the corner of her eye as she plucked another blade of grass. He was leaning back, supporting himself on his hands with a sad smile on his face. “Thank me? For what?”

He chuckled. “It was thanks to you and your friends that I have Tobbie.”

She raised an eyebrow.

He faced her, “Cullen never told you?” He shook his head. “No, of course not. Who knows? Maybe Mia never told him… my late wife, Tobbie’s mother, she had been in the heart of Honnleath when the darkspawn attacked. We had barely been married a few months. Mia, Rosie and I were already in South Reach, my wife had gone back to Honnleath to convince her family to join us.” He smiled. “She was one of the survivors in the cellar.”

Rayne didn’t know what to say to that. There weren’t many survivors, and she was now happy that she was at least able to save one member of Cullen’s family… or did she? “What… what happened to her?”

Bran’s eyes darkened in sadness. “She… became infected. Which is why I have the separate house. She hadn’t known she had the blight until she got back to us, and I refused to have her sent away. So, I quarantined us. I took care of her as pregnancy and the blight weakened her. After giving birth to Tobbie she began just... withering away. It was a few years, but at least she got a little time with our son.”

Rayne’s throat tightened and she looked down. “I’m sorry.” She said softly.

She felt his hand on her shoulder. “Don’t be. Because of you I was able to see her again. Because of you… she was able to live long enough to give me the greatest gift anyone could.” Rayne raised her eyes to him. His smile was warm and genuine and tears glossed his eyes. “You and your friends helped my wife, me and my family. And we’re not the only ones.”

Tears pressed into her eyes, but she refused to let them go.

Bran gave her a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder before standing and grabbing his bag. “Don’t discount your acts. You have no idea the good you did, and what that led to for a lot of people. You gave us hope when all around us darkness was closing in.” He looked down at her, blocking out the sun. “Don’t forget that.”

He nodded to Cole in farewell and began his climb down the hill.

Rayne watched him go. Once he was out of eye sight she turned back to the sun and sad smile came to her face. He was right. She had helped in ways that she wasn’t even aware of. How many other stories were like his? Knowing that there were no doubt others like that lifted a weight off her chest. But there was that lingering guilt of the City of Amaranthine.

Everyone always told her that she did what she had to. She made the hard decision. And in the end that saved Vigil’s Keep and everyone there and the arling flourished after because of it. But that didn’t remove the nightmares that haunted her dreams of the screams coming from within the already burning city that was overrun with darkspawn. She heard the dead and the dying in her sleep. And then the hardest decision of her life.

She put the torch to the city knowing that there were those in the city that were still alive. Even though her Captain had told her those that were alive were no doubt corrupted by the blight. And he was probably right. But that didn’t ease the pain of condemning them all to death by her words and her own spells.

 ** _The dead don’t hold grudges._** Cullen told her. He mimicked the same words Nathaniel had spoken to her as she had wallowed in her guilt when she fled Vigil’s Keep with him.

Maybe someday she would truly believe those words and be able to pull the dagger out of her chest.


	92. Cullen

Cullen wasn’t sure how long they were going to remain there. He kept telling himself that they couldn’t much longer. The Inquisitor and the Inquisition needed them back at Skyhold. He had been gone for months already.

But as he sat on the porch watching Rayne, Cole and Tobbie sitting out in the grass playing, he didn’t want to leave anytime soon. He smiled as Tobbie handed Cole a soldier carved from wood, the boy studied it as if he could try and penetrate the cloth and wood to read its thoughts. Rayne sat with her legs tucked underneath her with a smile of amusement on her face.

Tobbie tilted his head and pointed to Cole’s hat. After a few moments of thought, Cole gently put down the doll as if he was afraid to break it and lifted off his hat and just as gently put it on the boy’s head. If the hat was oversized for Cole it was gigantic on Tobbie. It flopped down covering his face down to his lips. He lifted up the front and grinned widely.

Rayne placed a hand Cole’s shoulder before standing and leaving the two of them alone and went to join Cullen on the porch. “Enjoying the afternoon?” She asked as she approached.

“I am, actually.” His eyes followed her and she sat next to him, close enough that their thighs were pressed together.

“You sound surprised by that.”

“I guess I am, at least a bit.” He looked back out to Tobbie and Cole as the boy tried to explain the fine art of doll playing with him. “There used to be a time that I thought I wouldn’t find any other joy than as a Templar and then as a soldier for the Inquisition. To always have to be in the fight somehow.” His eyes went back to her and took her hand in his, interlacing their fingers. “But being with you… and being here, I’ve found true happiness.” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed the back gently and said softly, “I pray it never ends.”

Rayne leaned on him, resting her head on his arm and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “As do I. I hope I can keep you happy once we leave here.”

Cullen kissed the top of her head and laid his on hers. “You always do.”

They sat there for a time, just enjoying each other’s presence while listening to Tobbie giggle.

“I’m actually surprised you’d let Cole play with Tobbie.” Rayne finally said.

“Even though he is an… anomaly and likes to hit wounds close to home, his heart it in the right place. You and Aiden trust him. And I… have come to trust him.” He smirked and chuckled softly. “Whoever thought that I would trust a spirit?”

He could feel Rayne’s smile. “Whoever thought that you would love a mage let alone a… well, you know.”

“True enough.” He said in amusement.

“Where’s a painter when you need one?” Mia said in amusement behind them.

They pulled apart and turned as she sat on the rocking chair.

She smiled at them. “Has anyone ever told you that the two of you are adorable together?”

Cullen diverted his eyes to the ground as a smile and a blush threatened to come to his cheeks.

Rayne gave him a playful nudge. “We’ve been told that a time or two.”

“The two of you together are going to be the death of me.” He mumbled as he turned back around to Tobbie and Cole.

Mia chuckled. “You two haven’t seen Rosie have you?”

Cullen mentally sighed. “She left a while ago.” He didn’t add in her departing words of not wanting to be around a maleficar longer than she had to. Even though it was for the best it still hurt Cullen. She was still his sister after all, and he wanted to spend time with her before he had to leave. Rayne had offered to leave back to Skyhold with Cole if it meant more time with his sibling, but he declined. Rosie needed to come to terms that they were both part of his life.

“Bran should be returning soon, shouldn’t he?” Rayne asked trying to change the subject feeling his mood change.

Cullen smirked. “Charmed you already, has he?” He joked.

She gave him a lopsided smile. “Well, he _is_ rather charming. And that long hair.” She shivered and looked dreamily skyward. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and grinned.

He rolled his eyes.

Mia shook her head. Her smile faltered slightly. “How long do you plan on staying with us?”

“That eager to be rid of me already?”

“The opposite.” She said softly rubbing her swollen abdomen. “I’d like you to stay permanently. But that isn't going to happen.”

He gave her a sad smile. “No. At least not yet. We’re needed back at Skyhold.”

Mia looked at Rayne. “Is it wise to go back there? Given your… condition?”

“I’m pregnant. Not dying.” Rayne laughed. “Skyhold is probably one of the safest places I could be.”

 _So long as Corypheus doesn’t attack us with his archdemon directly._ Cullen thought to himself. A knot formed in the pit of his stomach with the thought. He kept such thoughts to himself. Besides where would she go otherwise? He definitely didn’t want her in Denerim. And with Rosie here… No, the safest place for her was at Skyhold, with him.

“Besides,” Rayne continued. “I’ve been in more intense areas and situations when I was pregnant with Aiden.”

Mia studied her and then nodded. “Fair enough.”

Rayne abruptly stood and stretched. “I’m going to go for a walk. When I get back I’ll help with dinner.”

Cullen’s eyebrows rose. “You cook?”

She looked a little offended by the question. “Of course I do. Had to make meals often after leaving the Tower. And had to feed my son at some point. And before you ask, no magic required.”

“I just… always assumed… uh…” He stopped as she gave him a glare. He was obviously about to dig himself into a hole.

“You just always assumed I had other people doing it for me.” She finished.

He decided not to even answer. He cleared his throat. “Mind if I join you? For the walk, that is.”

Rayne shrugged. “If you wish.” She turned to Cole. “You going to be alright by yourself Cole?”

He looked up at her and held up a doll with a tilt of his head. “I’m not alone.”

* * *

 

Rayne ended up taking him to the hills where she and Cole ventured this morning while he slept. But they chose to go in deeper into the valley where the shadows of nightfall were already forming. They held hands, their fingers intertwined as they walked through the tall grass and sunflowers until they came to a large boulder and sat at its base.

Cullen was lying down with his head resting in her lap, looking skyward as birds flew overhead. Rayne ran her fingers through his hair, gently massaging his head, lulling him almost to sleep as she hummed a tune that sounded vaguely familiar but he couldn’t place it.

“What is that?” He finally asked, bringing his eyes down from the sky to look at her.

“Hmm?” She looked down at him, she had seemingly been lost in her own thoughts.

“That song you’re humming. I feel like I’ve heard it before.”

She smiled. “You have.”

He raised an eyebrow in confusion.

Rayne chuckled and continued to run her fingers through his hair, no doubt messing up the soft waves that he painstakingly worked on this morning. “I used to hum it often at the Tower. Don’t you remember?”

Cullen looked back to the sky thinking back. A memory came to him of a late night. He had been assigned to patrolling the halls of the apprentice quarters, stick his head into the dormitories to make sure all the mages were in their beds. He had inspected the female dorm and found one empty. He had debated about going to another Templar or even Greagoir to inform them of a missing apprentice, but when he realized _whose_ bed was empty he chose instead to find her himself. And he had had a good hunch as to where she was.

He went up one floor where the library and the Harrowed mages stayed. It didn’t take him long to make out the soft orange glow of a candle in the back of the library, hidden behind shelves of tomes and scrolls. He peaked around the corner to find a small figure sitting on the floor with her legs crossed, hunched over a scroll with her face scrunched in concentration. He had thought the little crinkle on her brow between her eyes was the cutest thing he had possibly ever seen.

Cullen cleared his throat, causing her to jump. “What are you doing here?” He whispered.

Rayne looked up at him wide-eyed in surprise. She placed a hand over her heart and took a deep breath. “Ser Cullen.” She finally breathed out. And then her eyes went wider as if finally realizing what he being there meant. Her eyes jumped behind him looking for the Knight-Commander no doubt.

He finally came around the corner. “I’m alone.” He smirked. “Something that is allowed for me, but for an apprentice mage… You can’t be here Apprentice Amell.” Both still formal with one another, a time shortly before their forbidden relationship began.

She sucked in her lower lip and worried it. “I was just…” She looked down and picked up the scroll. “Studying.”

“That’s what study hour is for.”

“I know. But,” She let out a sigh of exasperation. “I couldn’t concentrate today. Matthew wouldn’t stop pestering Jacob. And that got Maggie involved, seeing as she _always_ has to protect Jacob and…”

Cullen smiled at her in amusement.

Rayne flushed. “And I’m rambling.” She paused and looked down. “Please, Ser Cullen. I only wish to read. That’s all.”

He rubbed the back of his neck and looked over his shoulder. Finally with a sigh he came to a decision. “You can’t stay here alone.” Her shoulders slumped. “But… you won’t be alone if I stand watch over you.”

Her head flew up in surprise, her eyes wide. “You… you would do that?”

He was glad for the shadows hiding his face as he felt heat rise to his cheeks at the way she looked at him. “So long as it’s just reading. No spell casting.”

Rayne bobbed her head. “Of course.” She gave him a sweet smile that made him weak in the knees. “Thank you, Ser Cullen.”

Cullen was at a loss for words, so opted to simply nod. He turned and stationed himself at the corner of the shelf to give him a perfect view of the hall in case someone should come and Rayne on the floor. He acted like he didn’t notice, but he felt the pressure of her gaze as she continued to stare at him before finally going back to her scroll.

It wasn’t long before she was nibbling on her lower lip and twirling a strand of her long hair. And soon, she began humming a soft tune.

His mind came back to the present and he looked at her. “You hummed that often late at night during your secret study sessions.”

Rayne smiled. “You remember.”

“You never told me where you learned it though.”

She shrugged. “Don’t remember. It was just something that was stuck in my head.”

“Perhaps something your parents once sang to you before coming to the Tower?” He offered.

She shrugged again and diverted her eyes.

Cullen pushed himself up off her lap. “Have you… ever thought about finding them? Your parents, I mean.”

“To what end?” Rayne looked back at him. “They wanted nothing to do with me after they found out I was a mage. Casting me out into the street to be captured by a magister. Why would I want to find them?”

“They’re your family.”

She sneered. “They may have my blood. But they are _not_ my family. Aiden, Alistair and you. You all are my family. Those who fought by my side; bled with me, cried with me… they are my family. Morrigan is more like part of my family than my birth parents were. Irving was more a father than my birth father ever was. And Wynne… Greagoir.” She shook her head. “No, my birth parents wanted nothing to do with me, or my siblings. I’m not going to try to seek those people out.”

Cullen debated about his next words. “What about your siblings? You said you had a few, didn’t you?”

“I know I at least had one other sibling. I could possibly have more. I never asked Leandra when I had the chance. The only one I do know about was actually through Irving. She had been at the Tower before I arrived. She died during her Harrowing. Would I like to know if I have others?” She shrugged. “I wouldn’t even know where to start looking. Especially now. Before the war, I may have had a chance of finding any siblings since they were all mages, so they had to be part of Circles. But now?”

He tilted his head. “If you ever want to… I could help with that.”

Rayne smiled and brought a hand up to his face and cupped it. “You’re sweet, _vhenan._ But I’m happy with the family I have. I don’t need parents or siblings that I have no memory of.”

Cullen returned her smile. He turned his face in her hand and kissed her palm. His smile widened as he wrapped an arm around her waist and gently pulled her in for a kiss. Her lips were soft and still sweetened with the taste of the raspberries she had shared with Tobbie earlier. He snaked his tongue into her mouth as he intensified the kiss causing her to moan into his.

He wrapped both arms around her and lay her back until she was lying on the ground with him over her, her arms circling his chest, her hands pulling up his shirt. He smiled through their kiss at her attempts and finally broke them apart long enough to pull his tunic over his head and lay back over her. But he didn’t continue their kiss, instead he simply laid over her staring into her clear blue eyes that were rimmed in a light green ring.

He rubbed her cheek with the pad of his thumb as she gently scratched his back with her nails. “What would I do without you?” He asked softly.

Rayne chuckled. “Probably live a less complicated life.”

He shook his head and lowered his face to her jaw and kissed it. “Perhaps.” He breathed into her ear before nipping just below her ear. “But, it’s worth it.”

He felt her shiver beneath him as he continued his trail of kisses and nips down her jawline and her neck, following the line of her blouse until he got to the space between her breasts and then slipped his tongue under the fabric.

His hands went to her hips and pushed her blouse up enough to finally reveal skin beneath. He teasingly kissed just above the waist band. She tried wiggling beneath his kisses, but his hands held her in place as he smiled at her attempts.

Cullen continued his kisses up her abdomen, slowly pushing her shirt up with him, feeling the swell of her belly beneath his lips. _“Vherain.”_ He said softly before continuing his trail until he was stopped at her breast band.

He slipped his fingers underneath and pulled both the band and the shirt up, lifting her slightly off the ground to pull them completely off and tossing them over to his shirt. He brought his attention back to her breasts and nuzzled one with his nose, moving the coin he had given her in the process, perhaps it was his imagination, but he thought they were slightly bigger than usual. His hands roamed up her body drinking in the feel of her smooth warm skin, following every old and new curve and then brought his lips back to hers in a bruising kiss.

Rayne’s hands moved from his back, her nails gently grazing his skin as they moved to his abdomen and down to the hem of his breeches where she played with the laces.

Cullen caught her hands and pulled away from their kiss to press his forehead to hers.

She looked up at him in confusion. “Cullen? What’s wrong?”

He closed his eyes trying to compile his thoughts. “We shouldn’t.” His voice husky in his desire.

Rayne rubbed their hips together, her thigh brushing over his arousal. “I doubt anyone is going to hear us here.”

He reopened his eyes and bit his lower lip.

She tilted her head, now seeing how anxious he was. “It isn’t that. What is it?”

With a sigh he pushed him off of her and moved beside her. He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m afraid.”

Rayne sat up. “Afraid? Afraid of what?”

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. “I…” His gaze traveled to her belly. “I don’t want to hurt you… or the baby. I’ve never…”

Her face softened. She laid her hands on his shoulders and gently pushed him back until he was on his back staring up at her face. He watched as she unlaced her own breeches and slipped off her boots and then her pants and small clothes. His mouth went dry as his eyes traveled up and down her now naked body as she sat on him, positioning herself above his groin straddling him.

“You don’t need to worry about that.” She said softly as she bent over him. Her breasts and the cold from the coin that hung between them rubbed against his chest as her lips left a hot trail near his collar bone. “But to be safe… just means we shouldn’t be as… aggressive.” She whispered, her hot breath causing him to shiver.

He licked his lips. “Are you… are you sure?” It was getting harder to concentrate, especially when one of her hands went to his groin between them, he felt her hand against his hardened member still strained in his own clothing.

Her kisses trailed up his neck to his chin, grazing her teeth against his jawline before going to his lips. She looked up at him with turquoise eyes, a mischievous glint crossed them just before he felt her hand rub against him, positioning it that the back rubbed against him while her fingers were now playing with her own folds.

She licked his bottom lip playfully. “I have a good deal experience in this area.” Her voice was sultry. “But, if you’re truly _that_ worried…”

She let her words trail off as she sat up giving him a perfect view of her hand as she began moving her hips, riding against her hand. His eyes were riveted on her hand between them as she slipped two fingers in her wet folds, a soft mewl escaped her lips as they found her sensitive nub. The motion not only pleasing her, but he felt everything through his pants, rubbing against him, his own pants getting wet from her as she pushed down more on her hand and thus on him, and inside his cock throbbed and he could feel the wet from him.

Cullen groaned low in his throat, his hands gripped her thighs. “Rayne…” He said through clenched teeth.

She tilted back her head and moaned as she picked up speed.

He finally broke. He grabbed her hand. “You win.” He growled. “Maker… just please…”

Rayne looked down at him with a satisfying smile and removed her hand from her and quickly unlaced him and slipped her hand inside his pants until she found her prize.

He moaned as she wrapped her hand around his hard shaft as he awkwardly slipped down his breeches until his cock was released with a hiss. Rayne slowly slid her hand up his erection, squeezing gently as she reached the head and ran her thumb along the slit catching the pearl of cum. She brought her thumb to her mouth and ran it down her tongue, his seed leaving a trail.

She brought her face down to his and gave him an open mouthed kiss, their tongues expertly dueling. The taste of salt and blueberries made for an odd combination of flavors, but he didn’t care. At that moment he wanted more. A moan reverberated through his chest as she continued to stroke him, slow and easy.

Her hand released his cock and he felt her lift her hips from him, a pit formed in him stomach from the loss. He bucked his hips looking for the contact again. A light rumble of laughter filled his mouth from Rayne, and she finally pulled her lips away from his, pulling the bottom of his lip with her before releasing it was a soft suck.

“You have missed this, I think.” She said.

Cullen roughly ran his hands up her thighs. “It has been far too long.” And it was true. The last time they had made love was before he left Skyhold months ago. He had been far too fearful to after she told him she was pregnant.

Rayne rose from him, using her knees to raise her body off of his completely. A whimper he couldn’t control escaped his lips before he could stop it completely as she looked down at him with heavy lids as her hand found his erection again, giving it one final stroke as she positioned it before slowly lowering herself over him until she was fully seated, stretched perfectly over him.

She held her place for a few moments, simply allowing him to savor the feel of her hot, wet core surrounding him in bliss. There was nothing greater to him than the feel of union between them. Slowly she began rolling her hips, gradually picking up speed.

Cullen’s head rolled back and he groaned as pressure already began to coil in his stomach. His grip tightened on her thighs, his fingers would no doubt leave bruises. Sighs, whimpers and increased speed brought his eyes back to her. He watched, enraptured by the sight of her breasts bouncing above him as she rode him. Her back arched and head tilted back.

He bent his knees knowing what she wanted. With a sigh she brought her arms back, arching her back more as she braced herself with her hands against his thighs.

He couldn’t stand it any longer. The mere sight of her now sweat glistening body, breasts bouncing, enticing him , the sound of their slick flesh every time her hips moved pumping his cock inside of her was too much. He had to do something to stay off his completion.

Cullen abruptly sat up, wrapping his arms around her. She gasped and was forced to stop. He tucked her close to him and the flipped them until she was on the ground with her legs wrapping around his waist. Rayne sobbed as he pressed deep inside of her, burying him to the hilt and hitting that sweet spot inside of her.

Somehow he managed to kick out of his boots holding that position, the action causing him to grind against her. She locked her legs behind him and pushed him forward adding more pressure, stimulating her sensitive clit.

With a growl he lifted them off the ground until he was on his knees and she in his lap. Rayne pressed her forehead to his, their breathing coming in gasps. Their eyes stayed locked on the others as they caught their breath, her hands pressed into his back like he was the only thing keeping her from falling into an abyss.

His thrusts were slow, their eyes never leaving each other, their bodies moved fluidly as one pressed firmly together. Cullen pulled her face to his and kissed her swollen, red lips. He hissed as she sucked in his lower lip and bit. The feel of her teeth piercing flesh sent his thrusts into urgency, causing Rayne to instantly release her hold on his lip and throw her head back with a cry of his name.

He impaled her over and over. Her cries and their moans, and wet flesh slapping against each other filling the valley around them. He was close…

Cullen separated them only enough to slip his hand between their joined bodies and sliding between her legs until he found her heat and easily slid two fingers into her juicy folds, his fingers easily finding her engorged clit. They circled around the bundle of nerves, matching the speed of his thrusts.

Rayne practically screamed his name in ecstasy as she clenched around him.

He bit the base of her neck, which rewarded him with the feel of her nails carving lines into his back. “Come for me, love.” He gasped out into her neck. “Come with me.”

He rubbed firm circles around her clit. She whimpered. Her back arched and her body shook. He released her clit, his encircled arms keeping her in place as he pounded into her, riding out her orgasm until he finally buried his face into the valley between her breasts and moaned as his vision went white. His body stiffened as he released all he had into her.

Cullen held onto her for dear life, like a man drowning, waiting for both their breathing and his high to come down. When finally both their heartbeats had slowed and he felt her relax in his arms, he kissed her chest, his lips grazing over the leather cord that held the coin. He lifted his head away from her and looked up to eyes that were slowly changing back to their clear blue.

Rayne kissed his forehead and pushed back his sweaty locks from his forehead. “I love you.” She said into his hair.

He slowly lowered them both back to the ground. Once she was secure her legs released her hold around his waist. Cullen brushed away strands of her mussed hair from out of her face and kissed her tenderly. Loving, tender passion wrapped around them in that kiss.

He kissed the tip of her nose, “I love you.” He whispered. “Did I hurt you?”

She shook her head.

With a soft sigh he finally pulled out of her with a quiet suck and rolled over beside her.

Rayne rolled over with him, laying half on top of him; her head on his chest, one arm tucked between them and the other placed over his heart.

He ran his fingers over her shoulder, a smile of happiness and the warm setting sun on his face. He closed his eyes and just allowed himself to pretend that the war was completely over, that there was no Inquisition waiting for their return. He slipped into comfortable bliss and found himself humming a song he had learned from one of the sermons in the Chantry.

Rayne chuckled softly. “Seems I’m not the only one that likes to hum when their content.”

He kissed the top of her head.

* * *

 

By the time they made it back to house the sky was darkening. Cullen could already hear the lecture from Mia about being late for dinner. But he would take it.

He opened the door and let Rayne enter first, they both stopped dead in the living room finding Mia and Bran sitting on the couch. Mia with an amused smile on her face and Bran wore a smirk. And standing by the hearth was an elderly man with a black bag sitting on the floor by his feet.

“Uh,” Cullen looked at them in confusion. “What’s going on?”

“This is Ser Craver. He’s a physician.” Bran explained.

“From what I understand,” Mia said to Rayne, a spark of amusement in her eyes. “You may need to get examined. Just in case.”

Cullen’s confusion grew until he realized what she was insinuating. He felt the heat instantly rush to his face and he rubbed the back of his neck as he laughed awkwardly. If he had to hazard a guess from the look on Rayne’s face, his face was a shade of red that he didn’t know he was capable of.

Craver cleared his throat and motioned to Rayne to the stairs to a room for privacy. With a sigh, she followed.

When they were left alone Bran smacked Cullen on his shoulder. “Glad to see you have it in you.” He teased.

Cullen groaned and buried his face in his hand.


	93. Amell/Cullen

Tomorrow they were going to leave. She could already see a sadness forming in Cullen’s eyes at having to leave his family behind. Again. But they both agreed it was time. Rayne made it a point to promise they would visit again, even if it wouldn’t be until the end of this war with Corypheus. But it would happen.

She was outside the town sitting in the fields with Elgar who was lying next to her, his tail swishing back and forth in the tall grass. Her eyes fell on a nearby tree whose leaves were already starting to change from vibrant green to golds and reds. Summer may have barely finally hit the Frostbacks, but down here in the Ferelden plains, fall was just beginning to step forward.

Winter always came quickly to Southern Thedas. And since she had spent most that time in the mountains, Rayne wasn’t able to enjoy the spring or summer. She wasn’t looking forward to bundling back up so quickly. Hopefully winter would drag its feet reaching Skyhold.

“What do you think, Elgar?” Rayne asked, scratching the saber behind his ear.

His massive jaw widened in a yawn.

She shook her head. “When did you get so lazy?” She asked in amusement.

His ear perked and he turned to look behind them.

“What is _that?”_ A voice asked in a gasp.

* * *

* * *

 

They sat in the living room Mia insisted that he just relax his last night here. So he and Bran sat drinking the ale that Bran had stashed away and watching Cole and Tobbie. Cullen couldn’t help the smile that came to his face thinking how easy it was for Cole to befriend the children around him.

Did Cole hear the thoughts of children like he did adults? Or were their minds quieter? Purer?

“Looking forward to see something like that on a regular basis?” Bran asked.

Cullen turned to his brother. “Honestly?” He paused. “Yes… but it also terrifies me.”

Bran chuckled. “Aye. I was the same when it finally settled in I was going to be a Papa.”

Cullen didn’t say anything. He brooded a few moments and took a drink from his tankard.

“Bloodied hands. All they’ve ever done is kill.” Cole said in his monotone voice. “Broken, cracked, weak. How can I possibly build something strong?”

“Cole.” Cullen growled.

The boy looked up from under the lip of his hat. “You’re not weak.” Was all he said before turning his attention back to the game he was playing with Tobbie.

“Cullen…” Bran said hesitantly.

He sighed. “Please don’t. It’s bad enough to have one person in my head, I don’t need another.”

“You really feel that way?” His brother asked in shock.

Bran didn’t understand. He never told his family what he had been through during the Blight or in Kirkwall. They had heard stories, but those were just that: stories. Who knew how much truth was actually in them? And no matter how much prying from Mia, or encouragement from Rayne, he would never tell them. He didn’t want to bring that bloody dark mess to them.

When he remained silent Bran sighed in defeat and annoyance. “Well, I may not know everything,” he said. “But I know you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

Was he? What had he done that has shown strength?

 ** _You’re stronger than you think, Cullen._** Rayne’s voice echoed in his head.

An amused smile came to his face. Would that be how they were for the rest of their days? Constantly trying to reassure the other that they were better or stronger than that they believed themselves to be? It seemed he was always replaying those kinds of words in his head. He had to admit, hearing someone else tell him that did seem to help. Even temporarily.

“What is it?” Bran asked with a bemused smirk.

Cullen shook his head. “It’s just something Rayne has said to me before too.”

“See? If you won’t listen to me, listen to her at least.” He chuckled. “Something tells me she is the type to beat it into you if you didn’t.”

Cullen laughed. “Me personally? No. At least not yet. But I probably shouldn’t push my luck.”

Bran gave him a sidelong glance. “She’s a keeper.”

His lips quirked in a smirk. “I know.”

His brother nodded. “Good.” He took a drink from his own ale and looked around. “Speaking of, where is she?”

“She went to make sure Elgar was alright.”

Bran paused and a frown came to his face. “Where’s Rosie?”

Cullen frowned. “Good question.”

Bran hummed in thought and rose from his seat and went to the kitchen.

Cullen watched him a few moments before letting his eyes wander around the room. His frown deepening when his eyes fell on the hearth. Something seemed off. He stood and went closer trying to pinpoint what was different.

Mia and Bran’s voice trailed through from the kitchen in a muffle before he finally figured out what was wrong. Or as it was: what was missing.

Cullen’s chest constricted. **Why would that be missing?** He asked himself. And the only thought that came to his mind wasn’t good. When Bran finally returned he immediately asked: “Where’s Rosie?”

Cole’s eyes came up at his tone of voice, watching him. The boy knew that voice well. It was the one that he always used when giving orders or going into a fight.

“Remarkably, she went to see Rayne.” Bran said obliviously. “Something about clearing the waters? Seems she finally has come to her senses.”

Cullen put down his drink as dread seeped into his head. “No.” He whispered and whirled around.

Bran yelled after him, but he had no time to explain that their father’s dagger was now missing. And who would remove it from its plaque other than Rosie? He ran through the village not even seeing anything else except to get to the exit, but he was vaguely aware of pounding feet behind him that he could only assume was his brother giving pursuit.

When they got to the gate his anxiety shot higher having to wait for it to open.

“Cullen,” Bran said huffing next to him as they waited. “What’s going on?”

“Rosie took the dagger.” He answered, fidgeting back and forth on his feet as the gate creaked open.

Bran frowned. “The dag—“ His eyes widened. “She wouldn’t… would she?”

Cullen didn’t reply. As soon as the gate was open enough he slipped through and scanned the area around him, looking for Rayne or Rosie.

Not too far away Rayne sent Elgar away as she turned to Rosie who stood with her back turned to Cullen and Bran. And he could see something shimmer in the daylight that she held in her hands behind her back.

“Rosie!” He yelled.

What happened next seemed to happen in slow motion.

His call did not garner the attention of his sister. But it did get Rayne’s. Her eyes shifted from Rosie to Cullen. Her face shifted from happiness at seeing him to confusion when she saw the look on his face. Followed by Rosie lunging forward, Rayne attempted to dodge… But she was caught off guard.

“NO!” He ran as he saw the blade in Rosie’s hand plunge into Rayne’s chest.

Rayne stumbled backwards, her face white with shock as her knees began to buckle. He got to her before they gave away underneath her.

“No-no-no!” He caught her in his arms. “Rayne!”

“Rosie! What have you done?” He heard Bran say.

Cullen only briefly raised his eyes and saw Bran with his arms around Rosie, pinning her arms to her sides. Shock and disbelief was on his face, a look of victory on hers. And behind them was Cole, dagger drawn.

“Cole, run for a healer.” Cullen ordered.

The boy didn’t move except for tightening his grip on his weapon.

“Cole!” He snapped. “Go get a healer.”

Finally Cole sheathed his dagger and ran back to the village.

“You’ll see Cullen.” Rosie said. “You’ll thank me once she’s dead. Kill the mage, kill the spell.”

Cullen lowered his eyes to the woman in his arms.

The dagger protruded from her chest, they were lucky that Rosie didn’t pull it out. Maybe… just maybe. But her skin was pale, a trickle of blood traveled from her darkened lips. Her breathing sounded wet.

“Rayne.” He choked out.

Her eyes shined with unshed tears.

“The apostate will soon no longer have a hold on you.” Rosie said.

“Get her out of my sight.” Cullen growled.

“Cullen…” She started.

“Get her away!”

He heard Bran pull her away. He waited until he knew they were gone.

He cupped Rayne’s face. “Rayne.”

“Cul—len.” She gasped and an uncontrolled coughing gripped her. Blood stained her teeth.

He hushed her. “Don’t talk. Cole is getting help. They’ll be here soon.”

Rayne shook her head. “They won’t… they…”

Fear gripped his heart and tears pressed into his eyes. “They will.”

She gasped for air and looked at him with such a deep love that his throat threatened to close with emotion. She raised her hand shakily bringing it to her chest.

Cullen grabbed her hand as he noticed it going for the blade. “Don’t. They will fix you.”

“Cullen…” Her breathing wheezed.

He searched her eyes and then shook his head violently. “No, I’m not going to let you do this.”

“Trust… me.” She gently pulled her hand from his and brought it to the hilt of the blade. “Please.”

What she was asking…

Tears escaped his eyes. He lowered his head to hers and kissed her forehead as he grabbed the hilt. “I love you.” He whispered.

She nodded, unable to say the words herself.

He closed his eyes tightly.

With a sickening suck he pulled the blade from her chest. He heard her gasp and a wet groan of pain as blood began to flood into her lungs to drown her.


	94. Bran

He had asked Mia to take Tobbie to their neighbors, an elderly woman who often watched his son. He didn’t want Tobbie to be here when Cullen got back.

Bran didn’t know what to do. Rosie was his sister after all. So in the end he tied her hands behind her back and sat her in a chair to wait for Cullen.

 **Maker… Cullen…** Bran thought to himself as he rubbed his head. “What were you thinking, Rosie?” He whispered.

“I was thinking of releasing our brother from that mages spell.” Rosie said, holding her head high.

“He’s not under a spell!” Bran snapped.

“He’ll thank me. You’ll see.” She continued. “No mage can be trusted. Not even her.”

He looked at her in shock. When did this happen? He knew that she had gained a distrust of mages. But to kill one? To kill Rayne?

“Mages weren’t the ones that hurt your friend.” Mia’s voice cut in.

Bran turned to her. She was holding her stomach, gently massaging it. This stress wasn’t good for the baby. “Mia, you should have stayed with Tobbie. You shouldn’t…”

“I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit out on this.” She set her attention back on Rosie. “Templars are the ones that raped your friend.”

“They would have never been there if it wasn’t for those apostates.” Rosie snapped.

“So they are to blame for sleeping with the group?” Mia asked. “They were victims, just like your friend.”

Rosie looked away. “She’s enchanted you too. When she’s dead you’ll see clearly too.”

Bran shook his head. His ears perked to the sound of feet on the porch. He and Mia turned to the opened front door as Cullen walked in.

Mia’s hands went to cover her mouth as she gasped at the sight of all the blood on his shirt and pants. One hand rubbed the other where blood stained his skin. Bran could see the dried trails on his face where tears had fallen. But now his eyes were sharp and hard.

“Cullen?” Mia said hesitantly.

He looked down at his hands as his fingers rubbed a particular spot on his left hand.

“You’re free from her spell, Cullen.” Rosie said. “I didn’t trust that mages’ word, and used pa—“

“Shut. Up.” Cullen said harshly and looked up.

Rosie paled.

“I am not, nor have I ever been, under her or any other mages’ spell. I love her.” He grabbed a chair and brought it to sit in front of Rosie. “I’ll tell you something. Once upon a time, I loathed mages. I wanted them all wiped out. I won’t get into why. But I had once tried to convince Rayne to kill the mages at our Circle Tower during the Blight. She had enough sense to deny my request.

“It took me years to let go of that hate and anger. My time under Knight-Commander Meredith didn’t help that.” He paused. His jaw clenched and unclenched. “There was only a few mages that I trusted during my time at Kirkwall. Rayne was one of them. She helped me in more ways than you can believe.

“And then the attack on the Chantry happened. I believed she was inside and was killed. I didn’t know there was such a pain as what I felt then. And the anger… I wanted her killer dead. He was there; I could have easily gone forward and loped off his head.”

Bran saw Rosie visibly swallow.

“But you didn’t.” Bran said.

“Only because I was ordered not to.” Cullen said, not taking his eyes off their sister.

“Cullen, I was only trying to—“ Rosie started.

“I know what you were trying to do.” Cullen snapped. He rose from the chair, his hand clenched and unclenched near his waist. No doubt where his sword usually resided. “Luckily for you… I’m not going to be the one to decide what happens to you. She is far more compassionate than I am.”

Rosie’s face screwed in confusion. “She?”

Cullen looked to the door.

Bran and Mia turned. Bran gaped as Rayne entered with Cole on her heels. The only sign that she had even been stabbed was her blouse soaked through with blood, making it cling to her body, and the hole where the knife had cut through. In her hand she held their father’s dagger, now fully clean; no one would think that it had even been used.

Rayne didn’t even look at Rosie who sat there dumbstruck as she went to the hearth and placed the dagger back on its plaque.

She took a step back and just looked at it. “A beautiful piece. Pretty old. Shouldn’t be used as butcher’s knife.” She finally turned to regard their youngest sister.

“How…” Rosie stuttered.

“Luckily I’m a better mage than you give me credit for.” Rayne said and sat in the chair Cullen was once occupying.

The two of them simply stared at one another.

Bran sat holding his breath awaiting whatever verdict Rayne passed on his baby sister.

“I am sorry about your friend.” Rayne finally said. “I understand better than you might think. And I can understand how easy it is to blame mages for it happening. We are written as villains, even in the Chant of Light. We are branded for crimes mages committed centuries ago. It’s easy to blame us. Even when we’re not to blame.

“But you need to understand, it was not the mages fault with what happened to your friend.” Her eyes went up and looked at Cullen. A ghost of a smile came to her lips. “And all mages shouldn’t be painted with the same brush.”

Cullen diverted his gaze.

She looked back at Rosie. “You need help, Rosalie. I hope you get it.” She rose and went behind Rosie and untied her binds.

She rubbed her wrists and looked at Rayne in bewilderment. “You’re… You’re letting me go?”

“I am.”

“Why?” She asked. Her eyes filled with a mix of confusion, relief and hesitancy.

“Like I said. I understand. And I know that… in the situation your friend was in, that she wasn’t the only victim.” Rayne looked at Cullen. “So were those close to her.”

Rayne and Cullen shared a look of understanding. There was something there that Bran didn’t know. Cullen mentioned that Rayne had helped him in more ways than anyone is aware. It was the same the other way around.

Rayne looked back to Rosie. “But, my compassion only goes so far. Don’t try to tempt it again.”

Bran released his pent up breath.

Mia rushed as quickly as she could and grabbed Rayne and pulled her into a hug. “Maker be praised!”

“The Maker didn’t have much to do with it.” Rayne strained out. “Mia… you’re staining your dress with my blood and you’re choking me.”

* * *

 

It was just before dawn. They all stood outside the gate while Rayne saddled up her saber mount. Well, almost all of them. Rosie and Tobbie remained at the house. Tobbie was still asleep and despite Rayne’s leniency, Rosie was still hesitant about offering any loving feelings towards the mage. But Bran saw that she was mulling over quite a bit. Perhaps there was hope for their baby sister, with some help.

“You’ll be sure to let me know when the baby comes.” Cullen said to Mia as they pulled out of yet another embrace.

“Of course. Just like you better write to tell me about yours.”

Bran pulled Cullen in a rough embrace as Mia hugged Rayne.

“Take good care of my brother.” Mia said with a choked sob.

Rayne chuckled. “I will. Or as much as he’ll let me.”

Bran’s chest rumbled in a chuckle. “Remember,” he whispered. “She’s a keeper.”

Cullen pulled back and gave him a smile before turning to Rayne. “Are you ready?”

She looked over Mia's shoulder – who was still hanging onto her – and smirked. “I seemed to have acquired a growth.” She teased.

Cullen put his hands on their sister’s shoulders with an amused smile. “Mia.”

She sniffed and gave Rayne one final squeeze before releasing her hold and turning to Cullen. “Both of you. Be careful.”

He nodded and took a deep breath. Despite his attempts at stoic, Bran knew Cullen was fighting not staying.

With one final look he finally went to his horse and mounted. Rayne followed suit with Cole – who was missing his hat for some reason – following her to sit behind her.

Bran wrapped his arm around Mia and raised a hand to the couple as they moved forward.

Once they were out of sight the siblings went back to their quiet respective homes. Bran went upstairs to look in on Tobbie, pushing the door open enough to allow a small beam of light to hit his bed where he slept peacefully snuggling the stuffed dog he had as a sleeping companion.

A smile came to his face when he saw Cole’s oversized hat lying at the end of the bed.


	95. Cullen

Despite the fact that he was looking forward to getting back to Skyhold the trip back seemed to take longer than the trip to Denerim. He had missed the routine of the day, training sessions with his troops and even the constant stream of runners with messages. Being in Denerim for as long as he was he felt out of shape. He hoped Bull would be at Skyhold for some emergency matches in the pin.

Rayne had offered to teleport the three of them there. Skyhold was a place she knew well, she could easily do it. But he declined, telling himself it was to preserve her energy after the massive healing spell she cast on herself. She said she was fine, but he didn’t buy it. Perhaps it had more to do with the fact that he was so reluctant to leave his family.

Thinking about Rayne’s miraculous healing had him constantly looking over his shoulder to watch her as she and Cole talked, the boy looking strange without his hat.

His mind flashed back to holding her in his arms as he pulled the blade from her chest. Blood surged forward from the wound and out her mouth. His heart felt like it was fracturing into small shards of glass, becoming hard to breath as she slowly drowned to death and unable to do a thing about it.

Her eyes fluttered close and her breathing had seemed to have stopped. But before his brain could even process this, her eyes flashed open, alight in a brilliant gold. Her body went rigid, her back arching in his hold. Cullen didn’t know what to do, so he simply held on and watched as her wound stopped bleeding and then slowly stitched together. But that wasn’t all. Her body lit up and it took him a moment to realize the path the glow was taking.

It was her veins glowing under her skin, looking like a road map across her body. A low rumbling growl that sounded more animal than human resounded in the back on her throat. To him it had seemed agonizingly slow as the glow began to recede and her body relaxed in his grasp. Once her body was normal again, her golden eyes closed.

Cullen held his breath.

And then Rayne’s eyes reopened, back to their normal bright blue. She smiled at him.

He had initially been relieved. Until he began to think more on what had just happened. And that was the thing: something else other than her healing the grievous stabbing wound had happened. “Rayne… what happened?”

Her face filled with confusion. “What do you mean? I just healed myself.”

“But… the golden eyes? Your veins glowing?”

“What are you talking about?”

She had no memory of any of that. She had basically blacked out when she closed her eyes. She attributed it to trying to conserve strength to cast her spell, since the wound was a bad one. But with what he told her, they both knew it was something else.

And now, having nothing but time to think about it, it scratched at Cullen’s mind. What caused it? The gold of her eyes reminiscent of the spirit dragon in the Fade. Did it take control of her body sensing her near death? Could it do that?

**Why not?** Cullen thought to himself. **It had removed her lyrium brands. It’s not so hard to conceive the dragon healing her when she is fatally wounded.** Should he be relieved or troubled by this? So far the dragon had only helped her. But if it could take control did that mean it could do so at any time? Or only when she was weak?

The second worry was why it had made her veins glow. Why did it do that? To what end? Rayne didn’t show any signs of being different, at least that they’ve been able to tell. Would Cole, a mind reading spirit, be able to tell if something was wrong? Would he make mention of it?

There were far too many questions. But Cullen supposed he shouldn’t be looking a gift horse in the mouth. Rayne was alive and from what she could tell, their baby was fine. But she would have Solas double check to make sure.

He would just have to wait and see if there were any changes. It was all he _could_ do.

* * *

 

They were greeted warmly days later as they entered the front gate of Skyhold and found that the Inquisitor, Stroud and Hawke had all returned. From what Cullen was able to discern before their meeting in the War Room, Alec had gone to the Western Approach a few weeks back to scout out the area and had even cleared out the old Warden Keep for the Inquisition while he was there investigating with Hawke and Stroud on the Warden situation. He left scouts there to await the troops from King Alistair.

Rayne was eager to hear the news and they both decided not to mention her near death experience at the hands of his sister. The matter was resolved as far as they were concerned. No need to worry the Inquisitor or have Leliana feel she needed to send someone out.

But Cullen couldn’t help but wonder about the outcome. So as they were in their room – that Josephine had kept clean – cleaning up and changing out of their riding gear he finally asked her.

“Rayne…”

She hummed in response as she glided a rag across her arms to get rid of the worst of the layer of dirt on her, wearing nothing but her smalls and breast band sitting on the bed.

“Why did you choose to let Rosie go? Not that I think it’s a bad thing, mind you. She is my sister after all, but…”

“But she did try to kill me?” Rayne finished. She paused what she was doing and looked up at him. “Would you believe that I did it for you?”

He smirked. “I would if it was the truth.”

She sucked in her lower lips and nibbled on it as she comprised her thoughts. Finally she took a deep breath as if preparing to be berated. “Because I’ve done enough killing in my time.” She said softly. “And with given the choice to take a life or to give it, I want to give it. I thought about having her brought here and have Alec judge her. Since it is technically in his right since I’m part of the Inquisition. But…” She shrugged.

Cullen picked out a linen shirt from the dresser and looked back at her. “Is that why you told Alec you just wanted your attack to be forgotten?”

“One of the reasons. The other… I just wanted to forget that it happened to me… again.” She continued what she was doing.

He watched her for a time before saying anything. “Pushing everything away won’t help matters.”

“Neither is killing every problem.”

“There are other options.”

Rayne finished and tossed the rag into the empty linen laundry sack. She stood and looked at him. “I have yet to find it.”

She didn’t say anything else. She went to her trunk that she kept armor in until she found the weathered black leather jerkin with the attached hood and matching breeches.

Cullen watched her with a heavy heart. Unable to find the right words he simply went to finish dressing, opting to wear his full armor and fur mantle like she was.

He was cinching his vambraces when he heard her mutter in annoyance. He turned to her with a raised eyebrow. Cullen tried to hide his smirk of amusement when he saw her face screwed in frustration as she attempted to tie her jerkin closed. Because of her growing belly she was having a hard time closing it around her abdomen.

“Wouldn’t it be easier if you chose something… loose fitting?” He finally asked trying to keep the mirth out of his voice.

Rayne’s eyes rose to him and glared.

He cleared his throat. “We should actually look into getting you some bigger…” His voice trailed off when her frown deepened. “I should, uh, probably stop talking… shouldn’t I?”

“That would be wisest.” She blew air through her lips in frustration and began untying the rest of the jerkin leaving her in her breast band and breeches which he now noticed weren’t fully tied. “Barely a handful of months and already can’t fit into anything.” She mumbled.

Cullen stopped what he was doing and went to her. He knelt on the floor in front of her and gently took the jerkin from her hands. “From what I understand, that tends to happen when you’re pregnant.” He said lightly. He tilted his head as she refused to look up at him. “You’ve been through this before.”

Rayne sighed and looked up finally. “Doesn’t mean I like turning into a druffalo.”

This turn of mood was baffling to him. He knew women tended to be more emotional during pregnancy, but for Rayne to be upset over this? She had never come across as vain. She never groomed herself to looking good, she never painted up her face nor did anything fancy with her hair. More often than not he would see her sweaty, covered in dirt, even bloody in tattered armor and a practical hairstyle for fighting.

She was very much a warrior, even if her weapon of choice was magic instead of a blade. Even with all of that, he thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen; in truth she was more striking to him after a fight then powdered and pampered. The fierce glint in her eye, her usual smile in an animalistic snarl a copy of the wolf’s that had once been at her side, her body coiled like a snake ready to strike; it was… alluring to say the least.

Just the thought of her like that was enough to have desire pool in his gut. He remembered the first time he had ever seen her after a _real_ fight. Unfortunately it was marred by the events around them. Her rescue of the Tower and finding him trapped in a magical barrier. The immediate feeling when he saw her come through the door with blood smeared on her cheek, armor torn in various places, hair pulled back in a bandana that was stained with blood had been arousal. He had never seen her look so fierce before.

Cullen pushed the thoughts out of his head. This was not the time to be imagining fantasies or the past. But the more he thought about that moment the more he realized her real dilemma: it wasn’t vanity for her looks that she was upset about, it was the fact that she wouldn’t be able to fight if need be.

He smiled softly at her. His hand went to a strand of hair that had fallen in front of her face and gently tucked it behind her ear. “You’re not turning into a druffalo.”

“I sure feel like it.” She mumbled.

“You’re still the amazing woman I fell in love with. Beautiful in more than just physical appearance. I won’t lie to you and say that you won't be hindered in your fighting,”

“Hey…” She started and he cut her off.

“Rayne, in Amaranthine you had no choice but to continue the fight. But I know at some point, even you had to stop and wait for Aiden to be born.” He took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb over her palm. “Here you don’t have to fight. I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to risk you or our child.” She opened her mouth to counter and he held up his hand. “When you were pregnant with Aiden it was different.”

“How?” She said in mild annoyance.

“Aiden’s conception had the benefit of magic and an Old God soul to keep him safe.” He paused letting his words sink in. “Our child doesn’t have that. It was a miracle in itself that you were able to get pregnant in the first place, I’d rather not risk it.”

Rayne tilted her head as she mulled all that over. Obviously it wasn’t something she had considered before. Finally, with a resigned sigh, she nodded. “Fair enough.” She looked down at the jerkin, her face set in disapproval. As if scolding the piece of clothing. “Guess I should start acting the soon-to-be mother I am.”

Cullen smiled and rose up enough to press his forehead to hers. “Don’t worry, it won’t be forever.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “And you’ll always be my warrior goddess.”

She gave him a lopsided smile filled with love. “Fool.”

“Perhaps.” He said in amusement. “But I’m your fool.”

She simply shook her head and rose, placing his face stomach level. He smiled and couldn’t help himself. He wrapped his arms around her midsection and pressed a kiss to it. Rayne chuckled and ran her fingers through his hair as he continued to nuzzle into her belly.

“Cullen?” She finally said after a short time.

He hummed in response.

“We should probably finish dressing. The Inquisitor and the others are waiting for us, remember?”

“Unfortunately.” He mumbled into her. He pulled away and lifted up her jerkin. “Still going to try?”

“No.” Her voice laced in mirth. “Much as I wanted to appear the Warden mage this meeting.”

Cullen rose from his knees. “I think they’ll understand that you have to accommodate for other things.”

“Leliana and Solas are the only ones in Skyhold that knows.” She took her jerkin and unlaced her pants, slipping out of them to store them away before finding something looser.

He raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t tell anyone?”

“No.” She turned to him and smirked. “I didn’t want news to travel to Denerim before I could tell you myself.”

“Do you… want to tell them?”

“Well, I’m going to have to.” She laughed. “It’s going to become hard not to notice. I figure you and I can discuss when we want to after the meeting.

* * *

 

In the end, Rayne opted for her more billowy attire and breeches that had an adjustable waist line. But due to how long they took, they were rather late for their meeting. Cullen almost thought they would be finished by the time they arrived.

He was surprised to find Leliana, Josephine, Alec, Hawke and Stroud all waiting patiently for them.

“Sorry for being so late.” Rayne said, positioning herself on the right side of the Inquisitor as he went to his usual place on the other side with Leliana and Josephine. “I was having a wardrobe malfunction.” She said lightly.

Leliana gave her a knowing smirk.

“And here I thought the Commander was giving the two of you a personal welcome home party.” Hawke quipped.

Cullen shifted, keeping his eyes diverted. Even if they hadn’t been, doesn’t mean it was something he didn’t think about before coming to the meeting.

Rayne rolled her eyes. “I think you’ve spent too much time around Isabela.”

“Or maybe not enough?” Leliana teased.

Hawke laughed. “That may be it.”

Stroud cleared his throat and came closer to the table. “Shall we start?”

“Maker… please.” Cullen said.

For the next hour Stroud, Hawke and Alec were debriefed on the situation in the Approach and the Wardens. They had managed to track down the mage who had been playing as adviser to Warden-Commander Clarel. To their shock – and to those now being told – the mage was no Warden himself. Indeed he was a Magister from Tevinter.

When the Wardens had begun hearing the false Calling, Clarel had tried everything… even going to Tevinter. There she met an eager _Lord_ Livius Erimond and he had convinced Clarel to use blood magic.

Cullen thought it spoke volumes about how far he’s come that he didn’t immediately become disgusted with the notion. He understood not all blood mages would be like Rayne, but he hoped more would be as opposed to not. Hawke on the other hand… He was very vocal on his opinion of the practice, and it wasn’t a good one.

But when the Inquisitor told them exactly what Erimond was convincing the Warden to do, even Rayne paled. They were sacrificing warrior Wardens and using their blood to summon demons. And when they summoned the demon and bound themselves to it, they bound themselves to Corypheus. Erimond was nothing more than a lackey for the darkspawn magister.

“The Wardens have been known to do some… shady things,” Rayne said. She was standing by one of the windows looking out in the world. “But this?”

“They thought they were going to stop future Blights.” Stroud said with a frown on his face. “Is that not a noble cause?”

She was silent, no one else spoke. Of those present – other than Stroud – she was best suited on this matter. “It is.” She finally said. “But there are something’s you just don’t do,” she turned around to Stroud. “No matter how noble. The Wardens are _not_ so numerous that we should willingly go sacrifice our brothers and sisters.”

“In Death, Sacrifice.” Stroud recited.

Anger flared in Rayne’s eyes. “ _Not to summon demons!”_ She snapped.

Cullen and Alec flinched under the volume of her voice.

She shook her head and made a noise of disgust before turning back around, making it clear she was done talking.

“They are now tools of Corypheus,” Alec finally said. “As much as it pains me… something needs to be done.”

“Erimond is the link to Corypheus.” Cullen said. “Just like Florianne, remove him. However necessary.”

 “Adamant Fortress has stood against the darkspawn since the time of the Second Blight.” Leliana put in, ready to move away from the topic and to move to action.

“Fortunately for us,” Cullen continued. “That means it was built before the age of modern siege equipment. A good trebuchet will do major damage to those ancient walls.”

Josephine stepped forward. “Lady Seryl of Jader was pleased to lend the Inquisition her sappers. They are ready to be delivered.”

Cullen smiled and nodded. Luckily for the Inquisition, Josephine and Leliana hadn’t been idle while he and Rayne were away. And despite this being the ‘official’ meeting, Alec had already informed them of what transpired so they could set steps into motion.

Leliana nodded. “That is the good news.”

Alec frowned. “None of that accounts for the Wardens summoning a demon army.”

“That is the bad news.”

Cullen tapped his fingers on the hilt of his sword. “The Inquisition forces can breach the gate, but if the Wardens already have their demons…”

“I found records of Adamant’s construction.” Leliana confirmed. “There are choke points we can use to limit the field of battle.”

“That’s good. We may not be able to defeat them outright… But if we cut off reinforcements, we can carve you a path to Warden-Commander Clarel.”

Alec raised an eyebrow. “So our plan is to lay siege to a legendary fortress filled with demons?” He asked sarcastically.

Cullen gave a small shrug. “It’ll be hard-fought, no way around it. But we’ll get that gate open.”

Josephine tapped the board in her hand with the quill in her other. “It’s also possible that some of the Wardens may be sympathetic to our cause.” Her voice laced with hope. No one wanted to kill Wardens.

Rayne turned back from the window and came to the table. “The warriors may be willing to listen to reason, though I doubt they will turn again Clarel directly. Nothing can save the mages except for Corypheus’ death. And that isn’t happening anytime soon.” She said bleakly. She sighed and rubbed the back of her neck.

Cullen wanted nothing more than to comfort her. It wasn’t easy to hear that your fellow comrades in arms were summoning demons and killing each other to do so; she had to deal with a similar situation at the Circle during the Blight. And now history was repeating itself it seemed.

“I’ve already sent out orders to start moving forces and workers to Griffon Wing Keep,” he said. “We will use it as a place of operations to move our troops through on their way to Adamant. It will still take some before the siege can commence. Luckily, Inquisitor, you’ve put a dent in Erimond’s plans. We have a bit of reprieve and from what you’ve seen the binding isn’t easy.”

Alec nodded and was about to speak when a knock came from the door.

Cullen, Leliana and Josephine all frowned at the interruption. Everyone in Skyhold knew that when the War Room’s door was closed that they weren’t to be disturbed. Stroud went to the door and pulled in open.

Solas took a step inside and bowed his head. “Forgive me for the interruption, but I believe Rayne wanted me to examine her as soon as I was free?”

She nodded. “Yes, thank you Solas.” She turned to the others. “I’m going to assume you don’t need me for anything else?”

Alec looked at her quizzically but nodded. “Of course, go on ahead.”

“Until later.” She said over her shoulder and followed Solas out.

Alec immediately turned to Cullen once the door was closed. “Examine? Is she alright?” His voice was laced with worry.

He remembered the conversation he and Rayne had before they arrived at the meeting. He nodded, “Of course. It’s nothing to concern yourself with.” His thoughts went back to the stabbing, _hopefully._ He thought.


	96. Amell

She sat up and fixed her blouse as Solas went to the bowl of fruit he had prepared for the examination.

“Everything seems to be fine and in order.” He said and began peeling an orange. “The baby is fine and seems to developing perfectly.” He raised an eyebrow. “Why would you think something may be wrong?”

Rayne didn’t answer as she finished with her buttons.

“Rayne, I cannot fully help you during your pregnancy if you do not tell me everything.”

She sighed and rubbed her head. “Does your agreement to keep quiet still stand?”

“Of course.”

“I… was stabbed... while I was gone.”

Solas’ eyebrows went up. He waited patiently and quietly as she relayed the events at the Rutherford home and what Cullen told her happened after. “And you have no memory of that happening?” He asked after.

Rayne shook her head. “None. After Cullen pulled out the knife everything went black.” She looked down and began picking at her fingernails. “In truth… I thought I was dying.” She chuckled humorlessly. “Again.”

Solas hummed in thought and he sat as he pulled apart the orange he had. The juices from the fruit dripped down his slender fingers leaving a sticky trail.

“Have you heard anything like that?” She asked.

He popped a piece of the orange into his mouth and chewed slowly as he thought. His eyes narrowed on her. Rayne could practically see the wheels in his head turning. “I can’t say I have. Nor have I heard or seen anything like that in the Fade.”

She sighed. “Worth a shot I guess.”

His lips quirked in smirk and he took another bite of the orange. “Have you considered traveling the Fade to seek out the dragon spirit?”

“A mage I might be, Solas, but I’m not as astute at Fade-walking as you are. I don’t know its ins-and-outs like you.”

“Perhaps I can help with that? I was able to share a Fade dream with the Inquisitor, perhaps I can do something similar with you.”

“Wasn’t that because of The Mark?”

“For the dream to be in such clarity. But to simply walk the Fade? Easy enough.”

Rayne sucked in her lower lip and worried it. Playing all possible situations. Finally she nodded. “I need answers. I don’t like knowing what’s happening to my own body. And something definitely happened besides the light show.”

Solas tilted his head. “Something has changed? What?”

She shrugged. “I… don’t know. It’s just a feeling. Something… feels… off. I wish I could pinpoint it.”

He studied her closely for a time. To a point it began to make her feel uncomfortable.

She stood. “Thank you, Solas. I should probably get back to the meeting.”

“Of course. I presume you’re going over the Warden situation.”

“More or less.” She mumbled. She gave him a nod and left back out to the main hall. She figured that the meeting was still going since Cullen didn’t come looking for her, he was just as worried about her and the baby as she had been.

A frown came to her face when she entered the antechamber to the War Room to find three messengers standing outside room, leaning close.

She crossed her arms. “Guarding the door are we?”

The three nearly jumped ten feet in the air.

“Warden-Commander!” One stammered. Jim that was his name. “We were, uh, just, uh…”

Rayne raised an eyebrow. “Just leaving?”

“Yes, ma’am!” They chimed and bolted for the exit.

“Don’t call me ma’am!” She yelled after them shaking her head.

Once she got to the door she finally understood why they were all gathering. Raised voices were coming from within, but with the thick door it was all muffled. She gently pushed the door open and her eyes widened.

Stroud and Cullen were practically nose to nose in an argument. Cullen’s hand straining on the hilt of his sword, probably debating whether or not to draw it on the veteran Warden.

“…Absolutely not!” Cullen snapped. “I’ll be damned if I put her or our child in dangers path.”

“Child?” Alec asked in bewilderment.

“Well, I guess that’s one way of telling the news.” Rayne said shutting the door behind her.

Cullen flinched and turned to her.

“Note to self: anger and jealousy tends to get secrets loose.”

He took a deep steadying breath, his grip on the sword loosened a fraction.

“Someone want to tell me what this fight is about? Considering it sounds like it's partially about me?”

Alec raised a hand. “Are we going to get back to the whole child thing?”

“Maybe.” She focused her attention back on the other two men. “Well?”

Neither one answered right away, both looking like a chastised child.

Finally Stroud started. “We were discussing the attack on Adamant. Your role came up.”

“My role?”

“In the fight.”

Cullen glared at Stroud and his jaw clenched, she could practically hear his teeth grinding. “And my response was over my dead body.”

“And this is your decision, is it?” She asked him.

He spun around to her. “What?” He asked astonished by her response.

“Last time I checked I didn’t need your permission to go.”

He was stunned into silence, but only briefly. “You can’t be serious?”

Rayne crossed her arms, giving him a piercing look.

Awkward silence filled the room until Leliana cleared her throat. “Perhaps we should give the Commander and the Warden-Commander a few moments?” She grabbed Josephine and pulled her around the table, Stroud following suit.

“But…” Alec started.

Leliana grabbed his hand. “Come Inquisitor, we need to talk about your next mission involving the Avvar.”

“Avvar?” Alec asked now interested.

“Yes, something we can discuss up in the rookery.”

Rayne and Cullen waited as the rest left them alone.

She was the first to speak. “Despite the fact that you gave me a rank as ‘captain’, doesn’t mean you can order me about.”

“I wasn’t. I was…” He growled in frustration running his hands through his hair. “Rayne didn’t we _just_ talk to about this? You and fighting?”

“Yes, but that doesn’t give you the right to make that choice for me. And that was before this new information on the Wardens.”

Cullen closed his eyes and tilted his head upward to ceiling. He took a deep breath and then went to one of the stone benches at the border of the room and sat heavily, the metal of his armor smacking against the wall behind him.

“So, what you’re saying: is now you _want_ to go into the battlefield and put you and our child in danger?”

“No.” She went to him and sat next to him, taking his hand into both of hers. “That is something I would never willingly do. But I would like to be consulted instead of the decision made for me.” She paused. “And as I said, that was before this debriefing.”

“And how does this change things?” Cullen asked keeping his eyes on their hands.

“I need to be there, Cullen.” She said softly.

He gently tugged his hand away and leaned back refusing to look at her face. “Why?”

“Because maybe seeing a fellow Warden, a Warden-Commander… Hero of the Fifth Blight among the Inquisition… it might, just might convince some of them that the Inquisition is not the bad guy.” When he didn’t say anything she licked her lips and sighed softly. “For ten years I have been absent from the Wardens, when I should have been among them. I was barely a Warden a few hours when I witnessed a massacre of them.

“Cullen,” she placed a hand on his thigh. “I should be there for them now. I _need_ to.”

She waited as she saw the wheels in his head turning. Finally he raised his hand and hovered it over hers. He shook his head and dropped his hand on hers, gently closing his fingers around it.

“I had to fall in love with the stubborn one.” He chuckled. “Stubborn and loyal.”

“Just like someone else in this relationship.”

He smirked. “Rayne… we don’t even know _when_ the siege will take place.”

“Exactly,” She said cheerily. “I could already have had the baby by then.”

He raised an eyebrow in doubt.

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I highly doubt it too. But I can be there without actually being in the middle of the fight.”

“Alright, I’m listening.”

“I could just stay by your side the entire time. I know you’ll be there, leading from the back.” She smiled. “And what safer place in the battlefield then at the side of the Commander?”

Cullen’s face softened. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed the palm. “I think I’d be okay with that. But,” he held up a finger. “It depends on your condition at the time. Agreed?”

Rayne gave him a lopsided smile. “Alright.”

He pulled her to him, she nestled into the nook of his body and her head lay on his chest. A perfect fit. His arm wrapped around her middle, his other hand holding hers. “Rayne… now that we’re back at Skyhold… there is something I wanted to, uh, talk to you about. To ask you.”

She looked up at him. “What is it?”

Cullen licked his scar in nervousness.

Worry began to worm in her stomach. “Cullen?”

He cleared his throat. “I, uh…”

He was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Commander Cullen?” A voice called.

He growled and they pulled away from each other as the door opened. Jim walked in holding documents.

“Excuse me, Commander. You wanted these reports as soon as possible.”

Cullen rose and glowered at Jim.

Rayne pursed her lips containing a laugh.

“The, uh… reports?” Jim visibly swallowed. When Cullen continued to glare and look like his imposing self, Jim began backing towards the door. “In… your office… right.” He spun around and was gone quick.

Cullen sighed in annoyance and turned back to her.

“Go easy on him.” She said with mirth in her voice.

He rolled his eyes.

“So, there was something you wanted to ask me?”

Cullen chewed on his lower lip. “It’s… something that can wait until later tonight. Seems I am needed back in the office… with Jim.”

Rayne chuckled and rose. She went to him and stood on the tips of her toes and kissed his cheek. “Alright. I’ll hold you to that.”


	97. Amell

Josephine wasn’t at her desk when they finally exited the War Room. Which was strange, she was always there meeting and greeting some dignitary or another.

Rayne and Cullen parted ways just before the door to the main hall. He chose instead to take the side passage down that led to the vault and the kitchens. From there he could take the exit to lower courtyard, allowing him to avoid the pomp nobles in the main hall. She didn’t have that luxury.

As soon as she stepped outside, Varric’s voice immediately sounded. “Angel-face!”

She turned his direction and raised an eyebrow finding him sitting at his table with Dorian. The dwarf sat hunched over the table, and Dorian leaned back in his chair, legs crossed with a smug smile on his face.

“That can’t be good.” She mumbled to herself but headed their direction. “Gentlemen… and I use that term loosely.”

“So, you and Curly finally did it, eh?” Varric grinned.

“And here I thought it was common knowledge that Cullen and I have been doing it for quite some time now.”

“Which I’m still waiting on details about.” Dorian chimed in.

“You’ll be waiting a long time.” She said lightly.

“You know what I mean, Angel-face.” Varric said trying to pull her back into the conversation.

Rayne rubbed her forehead. “For the sake of my sanity, Varric, speak straight, it’s been a long week.”

He chuckled and nodded to her. “Heard we’re gonna have another Squirt around here.”

“Ah, I see Alec couldn’t help himself as he was carted through here.” She said dryly and sat in the chair opposite of the dwarf, kicking her legs up onto the table.

“So, it’s true, then?” Dorian dropped his legs and leaned forward.

“It can happen.” She smirked. “Do I need to go over the birds-and-bees with you, Tevinter?”

“Even though I’ve never practiced with my female counterparts, I know the jist of it.”

The smile on Varric’s face grew wider. “Sweet Andraste! A new Squirt!”

Rayne rolled her eyes. “I hope you come up with different nickname for this one.”

“Of course. There can only be one Squirt.” He gave her a side look. “Truthfully, I always wondered if you could have anymore.”

“Oh?”

“You and Broody?” He shrugged. “Not that I’m complaining. I like it better that you’re having lion cubs.”

“Not that I’m going to disagree,” she said lightly. “But what would have been so bad about having one with Fenris?”

“Can you imagine the broody babies?” Varric said in mock horror. “Thedas can’t handle that.”

Rayne chuckled and looked to the door leading out of the hall. “I miss him. I miss all of them.”

“Yeah…”

She thought to all the people she had met since becoming a Warden and even the one friend she had at the Tower. It saddened her that she only knew of Wynne’s fate and no one else’s.

And what of Nathaniel, Oghren, Velanna and Sigrun? Now knowing what had befallen the Orlesian Wardens she couldn’t help the knot of worry in her belly. Did they fall under Corypheus’ false Calling? Were they going to be at Adamant when the Inquisition arrives there? Or had the warrior dwarf and the two rogues already been sacrificed, perhaps one by Velanna’s own hand?

Rayne’s throat tightened as images of Oghren’s grinning, red bearded face came to mind. Somehow a pint of ale always in his hand, amazing them all that he could even walk let alone fight, seemingly being in a constant drunken haze. Sigrun’s strangely chipper attitude, especially for someone from the Legion of the Dead. Velanna’s nearly constant scowl that only ever seemed to lift when she was writing in the leather bound journal Rayne had gifted her to start her own stories to pass on. And dear Nathaniel’s weathered handsome face and light grey eyes that held a deep pain that over time would fade into determination to restore some semblance of honor that was lost from his father’s treachery.

“You alright there Angel-face?” Varric’s voice broke into her thoughts.

She turned back to them, both wearing a look of worry. She gave them a small smile. “I’m fine. Just remembering old faces.”

Varric gave her a matching smile, lines crinkling around his eyes. “It’s a bitch sometimes, isn’t it?”

“That it is.” She said softly. “That it is.”

* * *

 

She spent a short time with Varric and Dorian before heading back to her office. She had a feeling that word of her pregnancy was going to spread like wild fire and everyone in Skyhold would know about it before the day’s end.

Rayne rubbed the back of her neck to massage out the knots she felt forming from the depressing task of starting letters to send to Weisshaupt about the current situation at Adamant. She figured someone needed to inform them what was transpiring, and seeing as she and Blackwall were the only Wardens on site, it fell to her as the senior Warden to complete the task.

Muffled voices coming from her office drifted down to her, causing a frown to form on her face. She sped up her pace and threw open the door.

Inside she found Vector sitting at her desk, sitting back in her chair with his legs up on the desk and a dagger in his hand picking at his nails with a look of disinterest and boredom on his face. The voices she had been hearing were coming from her bedroom.

“What in Andraste’s name are they doing in there?” She growled, heading to the opened door.

Vector jumped in the chair, nearly falling backwards from her abrupt entrance. He landed all four legs of the chair on the ground with a jolt. “Rayne, calm down.” He frowned. “But for the record, this wasn’t my idea.”

She entered her room and found Josephine, Alec and two dwarf construction workers looking over the wall on the far left of the room where the hearth and her elven painting was.

“… Would be pointless to knock it out now.” One dwarf said. “Better to start construction on the other side first and then knock out the wall.”

“Like hell you will.” Rayne snapped.

Alec flinched and looked like he had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Josephine kept her composure and turned to her. “Ah, there you are.”

“What are you all doing in here?”

“We are discussing the best way to remove this wall.” Josephine said matter-of-factly, as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“What the blighted for?” Rayne asked in bewilderment.

“For the baby.” Alec finally said, garnering her attention. He cleared his throat. “We just thought it would be better for you all if the baby had its own room that would be close to yours. I mean, you’re going to want a separate room as he… or she gets bigger anyway, but want them close by.”

She raised an eyebrow. It was a smart and considerate thought. “And you didn’t think discussing it with me or Cullen first would be a good idea because….?”

He smiled sheepishly. “Right… uh… didn’t really think about that.”

She shook her head and relaxed her shoulders. Her eyes went to the wall. “Well… thank you. It’s a good idea.”

Josephine scratched words onto parchment on her board with her quill. “Master Ulric ensures me that the construction will be completed before the baby’s arrival. With the aid of mages and resources from Orzammar. I want to ensure that the baby is kept warm in this frigid climate.”

That made Rayne’s eyebrows rise in surprise. “Thank you, but… are you certain it will be done by then? Seeing as you’re building a whole new room from scratch, and you at most have maybe six months.”

The dwarf, whom she assumed was Ulric, tilted his head at the wall – still turned away from her – as if thinking and then nodded. “Aye. As I told yer Lady Ambassador, we’ll be needin’ the aid of mages to get completed that quickly. But it’ll be done.” He turned. “But we’ll be needin’ to put in some all nighters.”

Rayne groaned at the thought. “So, Cullen and I will have to sleep in his loft?”

Josephine nodded and she continued to scrawl on her parchment. “Indeed.” She raised her eyes. “Will that be a problem?”

Rayne sighed. “Only until dawn.” She shrugged. “But if it means a nursery quicker… I’ll endure.” **Oh Maker, how am I going to climb that ladder when I blow up like an ogre?** She’d cross that bridge when she came to it.

Alec chuckled. “Oh, you haven’t been to Cullen’s office yet.”

“Oh boy…” she said. “What did you lot do to it?”


	98. Cullen

It was late into the night by the time he finally called it quits.

It had taken nearly all of Cullen’s self-control not to – for lack of a better phrase – throw a fit when he saw his office. At first he had completely been oblivious to the fact that the hole in his roof was completely mended. Which had seemed odd, but he wasn’t going to object. He had been too distracted by the fact that his office was… clean.

Which _would_ have been fine, if it wasn’t for the fact that whoever – he suspected Josephine – cleaned it also ruined his system. Papers he had been working on or reading had been moved, placed into a hard file on a shelf instead of on his desk where he left them. Books that he had placed in strategic places around his office for easy accessibility were now all shelved in alphabetical order mingled with less relevant tomes.

What had seemed like a chaotic mess to most was sane order to him. And Josephine had destroyed that. So, gritting his teeth the entire time, he set about the task of fixing everything which was a task that took all day with being interrupted periodically by messengers and a few of the Inquisitor’s inner circle coming to congratulate him on his and Rayne’s soon-to-be addition to the Rutherford-Amell family.

The Iron Bull, Sera, Dorian and Alec had all wanted him to go out drinking to celebrate. He had graciously declined wanting to finish his task. But promised that at a later time he would take them up on the offer if it still stood. Even Cassandra had come and congratulated him, but hers was far more tame.

“You deserve to be happy, Commander.” She had said with a small hint of a smile on her lips. “Despite my personal feelings about the Warden-Commander, I know she makes you happy and helps you during this trying time. And this child will also add to that.”

Cullen was beginning to realize that Cassandra had a hopeless romantic buried deep under the militant, pious soul. It was always fascinating to him when those moments came forward.

One person he was expecting to come to him about it – or more like the _two_ people – never did. He expected The Champion and Varric to come storming through the door to play the “big brother” about the situation. When they didn’t he didn’t know whether to be relieved or slighted. In the end he figured he would no doubt hear about it when he least expected it.

Given the time he finally finished making his office somewhat to his specifications, by the time he made it to his and Rayne’s room she was fast asleep. His heart dropped, he had been hoping to speak with her before the day was done. As he dressed down for bed he swore he would talk to her before he even left the room in the morning.

But as the night waned on he tossed and turned with thoughts jumping in his head.

After two hours of sleep evading him, he sat up with a sigh of annoyance and rubbed his stubbled face. Cullen looked down at Rayne’s sleeping form, her arms wrapped around one of her pillows, no doubt in place of him. He gently brushed back a stray lock of hair that was in her face, causing her to snuggle into the pillow and murmur softly.

He smiled wistfully. He studied her a few moments longer before gently tossing his blankets off and throwing his legs over the side.

Cullen rose and grabbed the loose tunic that he had worn under his armor that day and tugged it over his head. Forgoing his boots, he headed to the door and, as softly as he could, opened it enough to slip out into the darkened office and to the stairs.

The hall was dark but smelled of burnt wood from the day’s lit braziers. His eyes scanned the main hall, noting the throne area that looked to be under construction. He turned and headed to the door that led to the garden.

He stepped out onto the lush grass and took in a deep breath, breathing in the smell of soil and the flowers nearby. Since he had been gone a small pond on the far side of the garden next to the gazebo had been put in. The area was cast in a gentle blue glow from the moon above shining down on the area, giving everything an ethereal feeling.

Cullen closed his eyes and tilted his head up; enjoying the peace and quiet and the soft sounds of the lapping water from the pond as the wind moved the water. But despite the tranquil surroundings his mind remained in turmoil.

He opened his eyes and began pacing. He didn’t realize how concerned he was. Not with the situation, but with not knowing what Rayne’s reaction would be and more importantly, what her answer would be. He mumbled under his breath and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Cullen?” A voice said softly.

He was so lost in his own thoughts that he jumped when he heard the new intruder. He spun around to the door leading back into the main hall. He immediately relaxed. “Rayne? What are you doing here? Why aren’t you sleeping?”

She gave him a lopsided smiled. “I could ask you the same thing.” She said in amusement. “You obviously were in bed at some point.” She approached him.

Cullen nodded. “I was. I just… couldn’t sleep.”

Rayne studied him and brushed his hair back. “Is everything alright?”

“I… maybe?” He said with uncertainty. “I don’t know.”

She frowned in worry, the familiar creases in-between her eyes when trying to solve a puzzle appeared. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong… per-se.” He cleared his throat and looked around as a bundle of nerves formed in the pit of his stomach.

“Cullen?”

 **No time like the present** _._ He said to himself and took a deep steadying breath to hopefully abate the knot in his stomach. “Rayne… there’s something I want to talk about… to ask you.”

She waited patiently since it was obvious that he was nervous about whatever was about to be thrown her way.

 **One of many attributes I love about her.** He thought. **She never pressures me into voicing my thoughts. Simply waiting for me to come around.** The thought helped ease the knot slightly.

Cullen took her left hand in his and gently rubbed the pad of his thumb over the top. “You and I… we’ve known each other for a long time. Been through a great deal together, and we have seen the best and worst of the other.”

“Who says I have a worst side?” Rayne quipped.

He gave her a lopsided smile and shook his head. She was trying to ease his tension. And damn her if it wasn’t working, but he was trying to be serious.

She smiled sheepishly. “Sorry. Continue.”

He tried to compose his thoughts, **why is this so blighted hard?** He thought. “You have helped me, in so many ways. I can’t even begin to tell you. And every day I hope that I give you even a fraction of what you give me. I think about how I came to loving you, and I think… perhaps love comes from finding someone you feel utterly comfortable with, someone who makes you comfortable with yourself. It’s like…finding yourself, or maybe it’s like finding the other part of yourself.”

He loved her, of course, but better than that, he chose her, day after day. Choice: that was the thing. In all the years he was a Templar, bound and leashed to the Chantry, he never felt like he had a choice in anything in his own life. Rayne was the one thing he did have the power of choice over.

Cullen licked his lips as he slipped a hand into the pocket of his shirt, “We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. We could die in this war, your… Calling could take you. What I do know is that what I have with you I don’t want with anyone else.”

Holding onto her hand and taking the small warm object from his pocket, he knelt. Rayne’s eyes followed him, her eyes widening and he felt her pulse pick up.

He stared intently into her bright blue eyes. Eyes that either haunted him or were his rock to hold onto over the years. “And I know I want you in my life until my final breath, however far away that may be. I know I want to be able to call you ‘wife’ before my time comes. I want to be a family.” He lifted his hand that wasn’t holding onto hers, Rayne gasped in shock when she saw it.

One of the reasons he had been so adamant about traveling to Denerim was for two reasons. One: to get Aiden’s blessing. It was customary to gain the blessing or permission from the patriarch of the family. Thinking on it later, Hawke would have been the next candidate. But Cullen never knew when he would see The Champion again. The second reason: the ring he now held out to Rayne.

The ring held a heart amethyst on a black thorn-shape setting. Thin stems with small thorns branched around making the ring, designed as a symbol of beauty and power. Elegance and pride. The amethyst was from the same gem that had been used to make the armlet he had gifted her in Denerim.

It was a symbol of everything he loved about her. He wanted her soft delicate petals along with her skin-piercing thorns. **She is my rose, thorns and all.**

“Rayne Sydney Amell,” He said softly. “Will you marry me?”

Her eyes were fixated on the ring, and he could see the cascading emotions play on her face and eyes. Surprise, fear, love, doubt and determination.

Cullen always wondered about the reason she never married Alistair, a man whose love still remains. She always said it was because the nation would never agree to a mage queen. Which she was right. But was that the only reason? Did she ever _want_ to get married?

Finally Rayne brought her eyes back to him and all the emotions just melted away into a gentle smile of love. Her hold on his hand tightened and she knelt in front of him. “Yes.”

It was all she said before releasing his hand and she cupped his face in her hands and she kissed him so deeply that he didn’t know who was breathing for whom. He didn’t know how long it lasted, but when she let go of him, he missed it already.

His eyes were still closed and a smile slowly bloomed on his face. He heard her light chuckle before finally opening his eyes and held her face and leaned their heads together. “Maker…” He said softly. “I’m a lucky man.”

“That you are.” She teased.

Cullen grinned and lifted himself and her onto their feet before taking her hand and slipping the ring onto her left ring finger.

A sharp gasp broke the silent spell they were under. Both turned sharply to the door.

“Who’s there?” Rayne barked. “Come out now before I incinerate you for eavesdropping.”

“A little harsh, don’t you think?” He whispered.

“Whatever gets them to come out.”

It worked. It didn’t take long from a lithe shadow to detach itself from the nearby pillar revealing their Spymaster with a grin, looking very much like the cat that ate the canary.

Rayne sighed. “Really? Did you _have_ to go spying?

“To my defense I only came out here when I saw the door opened and two shadowy figures.” Leliana threw her arms around Rayne. “I’m so happy for you both!”

Cullen felt heat at his cheeks; he hadn’t been anticipating someone finding out already.

As quickly as she hugged her, Leliana released her hold and began pacing. “Oh, Josie is going to have a field day with this. And it will prove a good distraction for her.”

“Yes, that was my main objective.” Rayne said dryly.

Leliana spun around. “When should the ceremony be? A few months?”

Cullen raised an eyebrow and looked to Rayne. She watched his reaction. He smiled and laced his fingers through hers. “In two weeks.”

“Two weeks?!” Leliana almost sputtered.

He chuckled. “What? Give her enough time to come to her senses?”

Rayne playfully nudged him. “Besides I would like to fit in my wedding dress.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The inspiration behind Rayne's engagement ring
> 
>   
>  [](http://imgur.com/UcZXmh4)   
>    
> 


	99. Amell

“Two weeks is not enough time to plan a proper wedding!” Josephine huffed.

Rayne stood looking over fabric, holding pieces up to a mannequin that was a perfect mold to her shape, barely listening to Josephine’s ranting for the past hour. She tilted her head as she rubbed the fabric in her fingers. “What do you think Dorian?”

The Tevinter mage had been more than happy about helping her design her dress. Even if some of his hopes were dashed when she told him no over the top colors and that she already had the design she wanted. All she really needed was another eye for fabrics since she couldn’t use Cullen. She wanted him to be just as surprised as everyone else there when the day came.

Dorian came to her side and felt the fabric. “Soft. Airy. Perfect for an outdoor wedding… if the weather stands.”

“And an outdoor wedding.” Josephine said jumping in on that. “Whose idea was it not to have it in a proper cathedral? Cullen is an Andrastian after all.”

“Which makes it better that it was _his_ idea.” Rayne said. “What do you think of the color?” bringing her attention back to Dorian.

He crinkled his nose. “Does it _have_ to be grey?”

“What’s wrong with grey?”

“Everything.” Dorian and Josephine chimed together.

“This coming from the pair that throws colors together that offends the senses.” Rayne said lightly and picked up a different fabric swatch. She hummed in thought. “What about this one?”

Dorian studied it and then nodded. “Better.”

She tossed the swatch over her arm and then dove into the pile again comparing them to the one they already chose. “You did find someone that would have no qualms about marrying a mage and Templar, yes?” She asked Josephine.

“The Inquisitor convinced Mother Giselle to perform the ceremony.” Josephine went to grab her board with papers off the bed where she had laid it.

“What are you looking for?” Dorian asked.

Rayne tossed another swatch away. “A darker shade of this one.”

Dorian hummed and began picking through the fabric with her.

“How do you expect to have the necessary guests at the ceremony?” Josephine continued on her tirade. “Having it in the small garden, you’re limited.”

“Necessary guests?” Rayne asked as she tilted her head back and forth on a piece that Dorian was holding up.

“The nobles! We will have to invite…”

“No.” Rayne said sternly as she shook her head. “Too pink.”

“What do you mean ‘no’?” Josephine exclaimed.

“Uh oh.” Dorian said in amusement. “About to become a warzone.”

“I mean no, Josephine. Cullen and I already decided we’re only having a small affair for family and friends.”

“You cannot be serious!” Josephine stalked over. “An event like this? It is as momentous as the King of Ferelden marrying, or the Inquisitor! The Hero of Ferelden marrying the Commander of the Inquisition.”

“Oh, just you wait Ambassador.” Dorian said lightly and handed Rayne another fabric. “Give me a little time, I might be able to convince Alec to make this a double wedding.”

Rayne nudged him playfully. “Oh, I can only imagine that.” She said with humor lacing her words. “Oh, I rather like this one.”

He nodded. “As do I. Any other colors?”

She shook her head. “No. How long do you think it would take to get these in abundance?”

“Depends. Where would you want them from?”

“Three days from Val Royeaux.” Josephine chimed, she snatched the swatches from Rayne’s hands. “I’ll see to it personally.”

Dorian flopped onto her bed and stretched. “What about our dear Commander? What will he be wearing?”

Josephine snorted. “Please tell me it’s something other than his armor and fur mantle?”

“It is.” Rayne set about the task of gathering all the other fabrics and throwing them into the box they were sent in. “He didn’t tell me what, but Alec was supposed to help him. Since Alec had been to Antiva.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Dorian asked.

“Why not come to me?” Josephine sounded offended.

“He didn’t say why the Antivan knowledge. As to why he didn’t go to you, Josephine, probably because he thought you would be busy enough planning everything else.”

“With you binding my hands, what exactly am I supposed to be planning?”

Rayne turned to her. “A small but romantic wedding in the garden. The Inquisitor and his inner circle are invited, Cullen will be sending out a letter to his family, and I will be sending word to Aiden.”

“And the King.” Dorian drawled. “Don’t forget him.”

She groaned. “Yeah, not looking forward to that.”

“ _I_ will write a formal invitation to the King.” Josephine said with a nod. “Anyone else?”

Rayne tapped her thigh with her fingers. “And Arl Teagan. Vector already said he’d be there.”

“What about other friends? Comrades of yours?”

Rayne picked up the box of fabric and headed to the door. “I don’t even know where to find anyone, let alone send them invites to my wedding and hope for them to get them in two weeks. Coming Dorian? You can help me pick out shoes.”

“Which is precisely why we need more time!” Josephine yelled behind her following behind Dorian. “And where are you doing to look for shoes?”

“There is a merchant that arrived this morning… _eep!”_ She nearly fell backwards when Dorian grabbed her arm to stop her.

“A merchant in Skyhold? You can’t be serious.”

“They’re shoes!” Rayne exclaimed as she pulled her arm away. “No one is going to see them under the dress.”

“You never know, my dear.” Dorian rubbed his chin in thought. “By all technicalities it will be a Fereldan affair, I hear those get rather… _robust_.” He grinned and snatched the swatch fabrics from Josephine. “How do you feel about a personal trip to Val Royeaux?”

“I’d rather have my eyes plucked out with a hot poker.” She continued down the stairs and into the hall, turning right to go to the Undercroft.

“Oh, it’s not _that_ bad. And I’m from Tevinter, so that’s saying something.”

“It means even your high standards have been diluted by going to Orlais too many times. Master Harritt?”

The blacksmith turned to them when they entered. “Ah, all done then?” He chuckled. “Can’t say I’ve ever had to pick out materials for wedding attire. The Inquisitor, Hawke and Commander Cullen were here not too long ago looking themselves.”

Rayne smiled. “Thank you for your assistance, it was greatly appreciated.”

“Taking the trip to Val Royeaux yourself could make the going faster.” Dorian continued, unperturbed by the interruption. “Besides, didn’t you say you needed to look into getting some maternity clothes?”

She sighed in defeat. “Fair point.”

He grinned. “Perfect. I’ll go with you.”

“Shouldn’t you go with an armed escort?” Josephine asked.

Both mages turned to her with a raised eyebrow.

“We’re going to Val Royeaux, not Tevinter, Ambassador.” Rayne said wryly. “I think me and the Tevinter Magister can handle ourselves.”

“I’m not…” Dorian started.

“A magister. Yeah, yeah.” She said waving her hand. She turned to Harrit who wore an amused smirk on his face. “Thank you again.”

He nodded and took the box down to the armor crafting table.

“Alright Dorian,” She turned back to him. “Let’s set up our trip.”

* * *

 

In the end, Varric offered to join them. Claiming that he needed an excuse to get away from all the commotion that the impending wedding was garnering. Rayne did have to admit he didn’t seem nearly as happy about the event as others. When she tried pushing for an explanation he had simply told her maybe someday he would tell her.

By horse Val Royeaux was about a six day ride, if they went easy. But they all wanted the trip to go quick. So it had only taken them three days to get to the Orlesian capital. Their time at a tailors shop had been quick, he assured her that the cloth she needed would be ready before the end of the day.

“We should just stay the night.” Dorian said holding up a pair of white sandals. He crinkled his nose and laid them back down on the stand they were currently looking over.

“I’d prefer not staying here any longer than necessary.” She said eying thigh high leather boots, thinking more about armor attire than wedding.

The Tevinter mage grabbed her arm and pointed her to the feminine, and highly tacky in her opinion, shoes. “You still need to find maternity clothes after this. By the time we’re done – and that’s if we manage to find everything by the days end – it will be nightfall.”

“I’d have to agree with Sparkler.” Varric hollered from where he was laying on a stone bench a short distance away.

“I guess you – oh! I like these.” She held up a pair of grey-blue short heeled ankle boots. “What do you think?”

Dorian studied them and nodded. “Good choice. I think even Josephine would approve. Now, let’s look for something that will be comfortable for you to wear as you…” He paused trying to find a good word without sounded offensive.

“Before I get fat. Just say it.”

“It isn’t fat Angel-face when you’re growing a living _thing_ inside you.” Varric called and sat up, grabbing Bianca that sat leaned against the bench beside him. “This will actually be a treat, I wasn’t around to see you pregnant with Aiden.”

“I’m glad _someone_ is gaining enjoyment of me blowing up and becoming useless.” She mumbled.

Dorian patted her shoulder. “You’re far from useless. You have a mind as well as a glorious body as I recall.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“I can be appreciative of my female counterpart’s beauty, even if I don’t want it for myself.”

She draped an arm around his shoulder and leaned onto him. “Why thank you.” She pointed at the shoes. “I think I’m okay in the shoe department though. I need actual clothes.”

Varric raised his hand and pointed dramatically to shops down the way. “Onward! To engage the nefarious tailors with their wicked sharp pins of despair!”

Rayne and Dorian exchanged smirks of amusement as Varric led the way.

* * *

 

Despite the fact that the venture with the tailor had gone easy, they were there for hours listening to the middle-aged Orlesian woman describe every article of clothing in her store in excruciating detail. Rayne was beginning to think she should have just gone to Redcliffe or Denerim. Fereldans were far more practical. But not knowing how the shops were in Redcliffe after the mage incursion and she wanted to avoid Denerim at present, she was left with the option of here or Orzammar. And she didn’t relish the idea of visiting the dwarven capital anyway.

She also had to deal with the fact that news of the Hero of Ferelden being pregnant was going to wash over Val Royeaux and no doubt Orlais itself. Men and women both were constantly coming in and out of the tailor’s shop. And they seemed far too keen in listening in on their conversation with the tailor than actually buying anything. And no doubt the tailor would be spreading her own stories as soon as their group left, seeing as she tried like a madwoman to pull information out of Rayne the entire time, information that wasn’t pertinent to her job.

But she didn’t get much. Other than Rayne’s possible due date, she didn’t even relinquish who the father was. She could only imagine the stories that would soon be spread over that. Not many outside of Royal Court in Ferelden and maybe Orlais even knew Aiden was her child, thanks to Eamon. She wondered if many even knew she had a child before this one. But almost everyone knew of Alistair’s infatuation with the Hero of Ferelden, and knew they once had a relationship before he became king. She wondered how far the news of his proposal had gotten before she disappeared.

Just as Dorian and Varric predicted, night had fallen by the time they were done. Most shops closed or were in the process of closing. Guards were working on lighting all the torches littered around the city, making it glitter in various colors of light thanks to the painted glass that they were in.

The night was cool and the streets were almost empty. Most of the city’s citizens had gone home, if they needed anything now they would send out servants. Rayne had to admit that at this time of day, with the quiet, weather and ambiance that Val Royeaux was beautiful and she was enjoying herself. Even during the day dealing with pomp Orlesians, she had been having a good time.

She couldn’t remember the last time she felt like a normal person. Out on the city with friends, doing something as mundane and superficial as clothes shopping. She even endured Dorian’s endless gossip about what was happening with one noble or another that he heard from Vivienne and sometimes what was happening in Tevinter from the few contacts he still had there. Varric telling outlandish stories about Orlesian lovers, that Rayne doubted was even remotely true, but she enjoyed the tale all the same.

With everything they had bought that day they were forced to purchase a small cart to haul it all back to Skyhold. Rayne had paid a nice sum to hire people to gather everything she had purchased and stow it in the cart to be ready for travel the next day. Dorian was disappointed in her choices of attire, but she argued she needed something comfortable and functional, not frilly and constricting.

“Have you ever been pregnant to know that you’re uncomfortable as it is without comfortable clothing?” She argued, her hands on her hips. “I have. During my pregnancy with Aiden I was forced into chaffing armor because I still had to fight until a certain point. Against talking darkspawn no less! This time, I’m going to be a lazy paper pusher and I’m going to be comfortable not stylish.”

He finally conceded her point, but wanted at least one fashionable piece. To get him to shut up, she allowed him to pick something. When he practically skipped out of the tailors shop to parts unknown, because she was forced to stay where she was, she began regretting it. When he came back with a bundle wrapped in blue paper and a grin on his face she feared what he had bought, and he refused to let her see it. She would have to wait until she got to Skyhold.

Dorian stretched beside her as they walked down the street to an inn that the tailor directed them to. “A very productive day, if I do say so myself.”

“I hate Orlesian fashion.” She sighed. “But, I got everything I needed without looking like a creampuff in frilly lace.”

“I’m going to start calling you Angel Cake if you keep talking about food.” Varric teased. “We haven’t eaten all day, and you’re supposed to be eating for two.”

Rayne snorted. “I never cared for the nickname ‘Angel-face’ anyway.”

He gave her a sidelong look of surprise. “Really? I thought you loved it?”

“Not really.” She said dryly.

Varric hummed in thought. “Well, had I known that I would have given you the name I really came up with.”

“What?”

“Angel-face was always a joke.” He shrugged. “But I thought you liked it, so it kinda stuck.”

“Now I’m curious, what _was_ the real name you wanted to use?”

“Jewel.”

Rayne blinked, stunned into silence for a few heartbeats. “Jewel?”

Varric nodded.

“Okay, why?”

He looked at her and grinned. “Because of your multi-faceted personality. Like a gemstone. And diamonds can be more lethal than any blade.”

Rayne tilted her head in thought, smirked and then shrugged. “Fair enough. I’ll take it over Angel-face.”

“We’ll see if I can get it to stick.” He chuckled.

The sounds of music and mumbled conversations drifting down the street to them cut off their conversation making them all pick up the pace. They were all eager for sleep and food. And Rayne was eager to wake early to head back to Skyhold to start her dress.


	100. Alistair/Cullen

He went through the stack of missives, shifting through what was important and what wasn’t. Granted, to him, nothing was really all that important.

Alistair sighed and rubbed his eyes in fatigue. He was finding it harder to sleep lately. He blamed it on the false Calling that no doubt penetrated his thoughts more easily when he slept. But he was used to the dreams, he’s had them since he joined the Order. But, Alistair didn’t want to admit the real reason he was having sleepless nights.

**_I’m pregnant._ **

Those words still rang bitterly in his head. It was one thing to know she was sharing another man’s bed. But another entirely knowing she was now starting a family with him.

Alistair always thought there may be a sliver of a chance to getting her back. Over the past year though, that sliver was diminishing with every encounter as his hurt, want and jealousy reared its ugly, ugly head.

He didn’t realize he had that side in him. Sure, during the Blight he was always a bit jealous of Zevran, how the elf constantly was flirting with her, trying to get into her tent. But nothing like he was now. Maybe because he always knew Rayne only loved him.

**But now…** He thought to himself. Alistair rubbed the back of his neck, he needed sleep.

A knock on the door jolted him. “Come in.”

The doors swung open, Teagan and Aiden walked in.

“It wasn’t _that_ terrible.” Teagan said in amusement, obviously continuing a conversation he was having with the boy.

“Learning about the courting rites in Orlais?” Aiden said with a grimace. “How is that _not_ terrible?”

“It may come in handy sooner-or-later.” Teagan laughed.

“I’m with my son.” Alistair said with a smile. “Still here, Teagan?”

Teagan sighed. “I admit, I find it difficult leaving. I’ve enjoyed being around family.”

Alistair gave him a lopsided smile. “If you didn’t have a village to look after I would invite you to stay as long as you like. But I’m sure Redcliffe needs its Arl.”

“You’re right.” Teagan said with a nod.

Aiden plopped down in the chair behind his father. “Anything good today?”

Alistair hummed as he picked through a few more before coming to a scroll with the golden seal of the Inquisition. “Something from the Inquisition.” He held it up.

Aiden perked it up. “Can I read it?”

He tossed it to his son. “Go on, then.”

Aiden grinned as he caught the fine parchment, he looked in over intently first. “Paper feels nicer than anything else they’ve sent our way.”

“Must be something really, _really_ official then.” Alistair laughed.

Aiden snorted in amusement. “Everything from Josephine is really official.” He broke the seal with the dagger at his hip and slowly unrolled it. His eyes ticked back and forth reading over the elegant calligraphy that Alistair could see.

He turned back to the missives and sorted through them some more until Aiden spoke again in a hushed whisper.

“He actually did it.”

“Who did what?” Alistair asked over his shoulder.

When Aiden didn’t answer he finally turned with a raised eyebrow to find his son looking at the floor, nibbling on his lower lip looking apprehensive. In that moment he looked a lot like his mother.

“Aiden?”

Teagan came around the desk and extended a hand to his son. “Let me see.”

Aiden fidgeted and then with a defeated sigh handed the Arl the scroll.

Teagan took it and read over it, his eyes widening.

“What is it, Teagan?” Alistair asked.

Teagan cleared his throat. “Greetings to His Royal Majesty, King Alistair Their—“

“Skip over the pleasantries.” Alistair said. “What does it say?”

Teagan took a deep breath like he was expecting an attack.

“We’re invited to a wedding.” Aiden finally said.

Alistair raised an eyebrow. “Given the fanciness of that invitation, Inquisitor getting married?” He joked. He thought a moment. “Wait, was the Inquisitor… involved with anyone?”

“Not the Inquisitor.” Teagan said. “You’re cordially invited to the wedding of Ser Cullen Stanton Rutherford and Rayne Sydney Amell.”

Alistair gripped his desk as he felt his world go off tilt.

**The marriage of… Rayne and… and…**

_“Bae?”_ At some point Aiden had come to his side and now was laying a hand on his arm.

“You knew about this?” Alistair finally asked.

Aiden winced. “I… Cullen, he asked for my blessing when he was here.”

Alistair swallowed down the lump in his throat. “And you didn’t tell me?”

Aiden looked away. “He asked me not to say anything. He didn’t want people to know… in case she said no… like last time.” The last few words whispered.

Last time…

Alistair ground his knuckles into his desk.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Teagan cleared his throat. “What should our response be?” He placed a hand on Aiden’s shoulder. “I’m sure Aiden would like to see his mother.”

Alistair mentally shook his head, and looked at his son who looked like he was in some kind of trouble. He breathed deeply through his nose, releasing the tension in his body. He gave Aiden a shaky smile. “Of course, we’ll all go.” He looked at Teagan. “No doubt you were invited as well, your invitation sent to Redcliffe. When is the wedding?

Teagan read the scroll. “About a week and a half.”

His eyes widened. “So soon?”

The Arl shrugged.

Alistair sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, I guess we should start making preparations to leave.”

* * *

* * *

 

He was relieved when Rayne arrived back at Skyhold, even if it was with a shocking amount of clothing and fabric, especially for her. Their trip back had taken them longer than going to Val Royeaux with the cart that was attached to Elgar. But he was glad that she now had attire more comfortable for the months to come.

And during that time Cullen had finished his wedding attire, which he was now keeping in a trunk in his office to keep from being ruined in his and Rayne’s room with it currently under construction. While she worked on her dress in the Inquisitors offered room, he had to admit he was definitely curious.

Those two weeks were a flurry of activity at Skyhold. Just as Rayne had warned him when she returned, nobles spread the news of their impending wedding. It was like a tidal wave of missives being delivered to Josephine, most of which wondering about their invitations. The Ambassador was practically blue in the face with trying to convince Cullen and Rayne to a bigger wedding, but they held fast.

And much to people’s surprise, especially Rayne’s, missives weren’t the only thing to arrive at Skyhold over those two weeks.

Unbeknownst to anyone, Leliana and Josephine had sent out messages to old friends. And faces that Rayne hadn’t seen in years arrived. The first had been Isabela with Carver Hawke, Fenris and Merrill in tow.

It was quite a sight to see the reunion of the Amell blood. Carver came in full Grey Warden armor; he had managed to convince Aveline – who had been keeping an eye on him at Vector’s request – to let him come to his cousin’s wedding. But the Guard-Captain herself couldn’t leave her post, so Merrill had come with him. But it wasn’t hard to see that Merrill wanted to come for Carver the way they held each other’s hands.

Carver had definitely grown up since becoming a Warden. He was always a decent fighter. But now, he was a real warrior. Filling out nicely into the armor he was in, handling the two-handed weapon with the ease of a seasoned veteran.

His black hair that was once short and scraggly was now down to his shoulders and tied back in a loose pony-tail. His blue eyes – blue Amell eyes – were darker than he remembered, like a man that had seen too much. Cullen understood that. Rayne’s eyes occasionally were that way when remembering her fighting during the Blight. And they could all see Carver struggling against the false Calling that he didn’t have to deal with in Kirkwall.

**The Maker smiles sadly on his Grey Wardens, so the Chantry says,** Cullen thought to himself. **As no sacrifice is greater than theirs.**

As for Merrill, the Dalish elf hadn’t changed much since the last time he saw her. Still a sunny disposition and a smile that was infectious. Cullen had to admit it was humorous to see Merrill interact with Solas, especially with Solas’ feelings toward the Dalish in general.

And then there was Isabela, the Rivaini Pirate Quenn, sashaying through Skyhold having every green recruit and even a few of the old hands turning their heads. She was still the exotic, lethal beauty from Kirkwall. Her time on a ship that she had somehow acquired – Cullen didn’t ask how – had made her already swarthy skin a shade darker from being out in the sun, but she took care of herself. Even though she had dozens of eyes on her all knew that Vector had claim.

Fenris was his same broody self and seemed fidgety when he met Dorian. Cullen had to make sure someone always had an eye on the elf just in case.

And the new faces didn’t stop there.

In the dead of night one nearly got killed sneaking into the fortress, but Cullen had trained the guard well. They caught him as he was attempting to sneak into the main hall and hauled him to the cells.

An Antivan Crow that was all too familiar.

The smile that had been on Rayne’s face when seeing Zevran was bright enough to light up the entire valley. When Cullen had recognized him and brought him back up to ground level Rayne had rushed the elf, nearly knocking him over in the process.

It was such a strange sight for everyone there to see her laughing like a school girl as Zevran spun her around murmuring Antivan endearments into her ear. Smiles broke out on faces all around them witnessing the exchange. Cullen had to remember that he was one of the ones that fought at her side during the Blight and had rescued her from the brothel. The two of them had a special bond and Cullen just had to roll his eyes and smirk at his flirtations.

And the last, thanks to Carver, was a face that brought her to tears.

Nathaniel Howe had still been in the Free Marshes, working with a Warden ally. An ally neither he, Carver nor Rayne would disclose. All the fear that she had bottled up over the fate of the Warden’s she had recruited came surging forth when she saw him. She had hoped that Nathaniel would have had news on the others, but he was just as in the dark as she was. But at least she knew about him. That was a good start. And just like Carver, he was struggling to block out the song. But Cullen knew they were both strong, and they wouldn’t be there long to have to deal with it.

As for his own family, only Bran was able to make it. Mia was too far along in her pregnancy to make the trip, and Rosalie… well, no one thought that was a good idea.

Then with Alistair arriving with Aiden and Teagan, things were tense with that situation. Rayne and the King avoided each other like the plague.

Needless to say it was an emotional two weeks.

Then the night before the wedding those closest to the Inquisitor and all their new guests – minus Alistair – congregated in the upper courtyard near the tavern. All around a burning fire. Cullen was on the ramparts outside his office looking down at them all, a smile on his face as he watched Rayne laugh as Zevran told a story about one of their ventures. Bull came out of the tavern with his arms full of pints and handed them out to a few people, his and Varric’s laughter rolled over the courtyard.

“Quite the sight,” A voice broke into his thoughts. “You would think everyone down there were old friends.”

Cullen pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against and turned. “In a way, they are. Good evening, Arl Teagan.”

The Arl waved a hand and came to his side. “Please, tonight I we’re all friends celebrating a joyous occasion.”

Cullen leaned back over, “not all of us.” He mumbled.

Teagan sighed knowing whom he was speaking of. “Can you blame him? You know what loving her is like. It’s hard to let something like that go.” He paused. “You weren’t able to.”

He looked down back to the group as Vector disappeared into the tavern with a huge grin on his face. “No… I guess I wasn’t.” He said softly. “But I never treated her the way he does out of jealousy. I stood by as she was with another man in Kirkwall, offering her all the support I could without Meredith finding out. Including helping raise Aiden. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy, whether it was with me, someone else or nobody at all. I just wanted her to be happy… I owed her that much.”

Teagan placed a hand on the stone wall, “It was a dark time for all of us.”

Cullen winced slightly. “You know?”

The Arl chuckled humorlessly. “I don’t know any details of what transpired. But I remember you from the coronation and the looks you gave her.” He paused as Vector came running out of the tavern holding a lute. “One thing we all have in common, she was a shining beacon of hope for us all back then.”

“Yes she was.” He said softly and watched Vector sit next to Rayne and Aiden lay his head down in her lap. “Still is for a few people.”

Vector nudged his cousin playfully and strummed a few cords. He frowned and tried again. After a few more attempts his smile came back and he nodded in approval at his own skills. Now the whole grouped seemed to be trying to pressure Rayne into something. She finally threw up her hands in defeat and shook her head.

“You’re a lucky man, Commander.”

Cullen smiled and stood straight. “I thought we were friends. No titles.”

Teagan smiled back.

Cullen put a hand on his shoulder, “Come let us go see what they’re all up to down there.”

When they made it down to the others Rayne’s voice traveled to them in a beautiful melody with Vector playing the lute. The song was not one Cullen knew, but it was soft and beautiful. She was nearly finished by the time they got there.

_I’ll use you as a makeshift gauge_  
_Of how much to give and how much to take_  
_I’ll use you as a warning sign  
_ _That if you talk enough sense then you’ll lose your mind_

_I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be_  
_Right in front of me  
_ _Talk some sense to me._

_I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be_  
_Right in front of me  
_ _Talk some sense to me._

She raised her eyes at the final words and smiled softly seeing him.

The group applauded.

“Nice to see you still have it in you, Coz.” Vector teased.

Rayne laughed. “I was beginning to think you fell back on taking lessons from Fenris on the lute with how terrible you started out.”

The elf in question glared. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I means, elf, that your playing skills leaves something to be desired.” Varric chimed in.

They all laughed as Fenris huffed in annoyance.

Merrill went up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “But we still love you, Fenris. Even me!”

“That we do, Kitten.” Isabela said blowing him a kiss.

A blush began to spread across Fenris’ cheeks going to the tips of his ears. _“Fenedhis.”_ He groused.

Bull smacked his leg and rose. “Well, it’s getting late and two of you have a big day tomorrow.” He went over to Rayne and picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder. “Your room, Boss?” He asked Alec.

“Bull!” Rayne yelled and smacked his shoulder. “Put me down you oaf!”

“Yes, my room.” Alec said in amusement. “But is that really necessary, Bull?”

“Yup!” He spun around and began walking to the main hall.

“Cullen!” Rayne yelled.

He simply shrugged in defeat. “I love you?”

She glared at him and crossed her arms in a huff as she was carried away, not to see him again until the wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song at the end is "I Found" by Amber Run


	101. Alistair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art by [Agregor](http://agregor.deviantart.com/)

He hung his head and rubbed the bridge of his nose trying to will the headache he had from the night and part of the morning of drinking alone in his room. As the moment of the wedding approached, and he was still in bed trying to sleep it off, it had been Zevran who had come to get him.

“Always the hero, eh?” He had said into his pillow as the elf went to the window and threw open the curtains.

Zevran had chuckled turning back to him. “Someone has to.” He said in amusement, his thick Antivan accent a bit grating for his hurting head. “You Wardens have a penchant for getting into trouble and seem to need a rather dashing assassin to come to your rescue.”

Alistair breathed sharply through his nose and raised his bleary eyes. It was only with Zevran’s help that he was presentable at all, the elf clucking his tongue in disapproval a few times but otherwise held any comment to himself.

His eyes roamed over the gathering. He had to grudgingly admit that the garden had been done up beautifully. The stone gazebo had flowers woven up the grey stone pillars, a various array giving color to the otherwise dark structure, a blend of different colored roses, and breeds of lilies. At the top a single yellow-orange sunrise calla-lily wove with blue rose.

Waiting patiently inside was Mother Giselle, her hands folded over her lap and eyes closed looking serene. Beside her was the groom and standing beside him was a man that Alistair could only assume was his brother, given how closely they looked alike. Cullen was freshly shaved except for a shadow of a goatee. His hair in its normal style of soft waves styled back. His attire was definitely a change from anything Alistair had ever seen him in.

A warm orange shirt that was cut down the front poked out from underneath the warm yellow robe that had golden sunbursts dancing across that he wore over it opened up in the front revealing a slice of his chest. The bottom fell thigh high over dark brown cloth breeches and cinched with a dark brown leather belt to show off his physique and to hold his sword at his right hip instead of his left, showing that the weapon was only there for ceremonial reasons.

Cullen fidgeted on his feet, looking down at them and his lips moving in something that looked like a silent prayer. Alistair wondered if Cullen was nervous for the occasion or if nervous for other reasons.

 **Like the possibility of Rayne not showing up.** Alistair thought bitterly.

He finally took his eyes off the groom to scan the crowd of people. Up front sat Alec with Dorian on one side of him, and shockingly, Fenris on the other. The Tevinter mage and the former Tevinter slave having a quiet debate with Alec in the middle rubbing his forehead and an amused smirk on his face. The fact that Fenris was speaking civilly with Dorian was a miracle. The same kind of miracle that had Rayne becoming close friends with a Tevinter.

Sitting on the other side of the aisle was Josephine, Cassandra and Leliana. The Ambassador’s eyes glistening with unshed tears. Alistair shook his head in amusement that she was already starting to cry and the ceremony hadn’t even begun. He couldn’t see Leliana’s face from his angle, but he was sure her face was lit up in happiness. Despite how hardened she had become over the years Alistair always believed somethings never change.

But that has always been his problem according to Rayne: Never coming to the reality that people change due to time and circumstances.

Behind them sat Isabela with Zevran, Vector was currently with Rayne. Scattered throughout the rest was the Inquisitor’s inner-circle. Cole with Varric, Merrill and Carver. Sera with Blackwall and Nathaniel. The Ironbull sat in the back so as not to block anyone’s view. The only ones not in attendance was Solas and Vivienne. Alistair understood the Knight-Enchanter, but didn’t quite understand the apostate elf.

His eyes went beside him, falling on his son that sat turned around talking with the boy behind them sitting next to the woman who was his mother.

Alistair was shocked when he saw Morrigan had a son, a boy the same age as Aiden whose name was Keiran. A dark-haired boy who looked very familiar to him, and when he stood next to Aiden he saw the similarities, which was baffling to him. He never thought Morrigan and Rayne looked very similar, but what other explanation could it be?

The two boys were quick to befriend one another, and Alistair was glad of that. Aiden hadn’t made very many friends while in Denerim, finding them too childish. Whereas Keiran was like him and was raised differently from the children at the capital.

And then there was Morrigan. Alistair didn’t know what was more surprising: her having a son or her now softer. Sure, she was her usually sarcastic, condescending self. But she was no longer cruel about it. Having a son seemed to have polished the rough sharp edges. She was almost… likable. Almost.

Alistair rubbed his head again.

“Having a hard time, my Warden friend?” Zevran asked. “Between the liquor and this false Calling I’m hearing so much about, I’m surprised you can stand.”

“I’m fine, Zevran. Just…” His eyes went over to Aiden who was looking at him in concern. “Leave it be.”

The elf studied him and then shrugged before turning back around. Isabela was looking over her shoulder at him and gave him a wink before rejoining Zevran.

Alistair looked around again taking in the gazebo and the elven lanterns that looked like small blue trees holding glass balls that would light up with veil fire when night came that were scattered around the area that were gifts from Solas. It was simple, yet beautiful. He couldn’t help but think back to the wedding he had started planning, the one he always envisioned. A big elaborate wedding in the throne room, packed with nobles and those that were friends. Beautiful tapestries of white, gold and red. Red roses all over.

Thinking on it now, Alistair realized, that wasn’t something Rayne would have wanted. **This… this right here… this is very Rayne. He did it right.** He thought to himself sadly.

A few moments later Maryden along with a small group of refugees who knew how to play instruments began playing a slow tune.

Alistair closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he heard the door to the main hall open. When he felt Aiden rise next to him, he rose automatically.

“Oh my…” Isabela breathed out in awe.

He finally opened his eyes and a lump formed in his throat making it hard to breath. Rayne was beautiful, she always was. But underneath the awe of seeing her, was the feeling like he was going to be sick.

Rayne walked in on the arm of Vector looking radiant. Her supple black hair pulled back away from her face, a section was braided on either side and pulled back, the rest fell down to her shoulders in gentle curls. Blue glitter painted her upper eye-lid giving her an ethereal fairytale appearance, no doubt it was something given by Josephine.

Her dress was a light grey-blue, sleeveless gown that clung to her body showing off every curve with a low V-cut showing off cleavage and the silver coin necklace around her neck. Done in a darker shade of her dress were vines with delicate leaves that wrapped around her waist until they met upfront splitting off, some vines going up between her breasts to her shoulders and some going down, making a diamond shape on her abdomen. Woven in the vines on her hips were two small roses the same shade as the vines, but they didn’t stop there. She had a short train of small roses following behind her, gliding softly over the stones that had been put in as a walkway.

 **Roses…** Alistair thought to himself, his chest feeling heavy. **Why did she have to choose roses?** And then he saw the glittering ring on her finger as she passed by and understood why. It seemed he wasn’t the only one that saw her as a beautiful rose.

When she passed he was able she the back of her dress, the roses fell down the back from the vines around her waist where they bordered under the small of her back. From the waist up was cut away leaving only her peach colored skin.

Alistair’s eyes went to gazebo.

Cullen visibly swallowed before finally looking up and standing straighter. His lips parted slightly and his eyes widened at the sight of his bride. And the way he looked at her… like she was the only thing in the world at that moment. The love and adoration that grew when she stepped next to him and their eyes stayed fixed on the others.

Once upon a time, Alistair thought only he could possibly love Rayne the way he did. And now, he was just proven wrong. Despite everything that had happened in the past, Cullen truly and deeply loved her. He would provide for her and keep her safe. And most importantly, he would love her like she deserved.

After that, the ceremony just faded as Mother Giselle began speaking. Alistair didn’t hear her, didn’t hear anything until she brought out a long white ribbon and asked the bride and groom to cross arms and nodded to Cullen in a silent signal to continue.

“I, Cullen Stanton Rutherford, in the name of the spirit of the Maker that  resides within us all, by the life that courses within my blood and the love that resides within my heart, take you Rayne Sydney Amell to my hand, my heart, and my spirit, to be my chosen one. To desire you and be desired by you, to possess you, and be possessed by you, without sin or shame, for naught can exist in the purity of my love for you.

Cullen continued; his voice strong and ringing through the garden. “I promise to love you wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change you in any way. I shall respect you, your beliefs, your people, and your ways as I respect myself.”

Mother Giselle slowly began tying the ribbon around their crossed wrists making a figure eight – the symbol for eternity – three times and nodded to Rayne.

Rayne licked her lips, her eyes shined with unshed tears, but her voice was just as clear as Cullen’s. “I, Rayne Sydney Amell, in the name of the spirit of the Maker that resides within us all, by the life that courses within my blood, and the love that resides within my heart, take you, Cullen Stanton Rutherford to my hand, my heart, and my spirit to be my chosen one. To desire and be desired by you, to possess you, and be possessed by you, without sin or shame, for naught can exist in the purity of my love for you.

“I promise to love you wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change you in any way. I shall respect you, your beliefs, your people, and your ways as I respect myself.” As the last word escaped her lips a tear escaped the edge of her eye falling down her cheek.

Before she could wipe it away, Josephine rushed to her feet and handed Rayne a handkerchief. Rayne laughed softly as she took it, smiles broke out on faces in the crowd as she wiped the tear away before handing the handkerchief back.

Mother Giselle finished the hand-fasting and lifted her hands in benediction, blessing the bride, the groom and their future together as man and wife. “What the Maker has brought together let no man tear asunder.”

Cullen cupped Rayne's face before bringing them together and kissing her softly. Everyone rose to their feet and clapped enthusiastically, then became like thunder as the new man and wife intensified their kiss.

 **It’s done.** Alistair said as he stood finally and watched as Cullen and Rayne parted, her face blossoming just like the roses that she wore.

He got lost in the tidal wave of activity as everyone moved from the garden to the main hall. Food was brought out, people danced. Rayne and Cullen shared dances after he removed the ribbon around their wrists.

Half-way through the festivities Alistair finally gained enough nerve to approach the newlyweds. Cullen was leaning into Rayne’s neck, whispering into her ear. She turned to him and kissed the tip of his nose.

“Lady Rutherford.” He said stopping on the other side of the table where they sat, forcing himself not to choke on the words.

Rayne’s smile slightly faltered.

Cullen’s eyes ticked over to him and then went back to her. “Rayne.” He said softly encouraging her to say something.

Rayne nibbled on her lower lip and then turned to Alistair. “Your Majesty.”

Alistair cleared his throat. “I… wanted to congratulate the both of you. And I hope you have a long and healthy future together.”

She nodded. “Thank you.”

He gave her a smile. “I was also hoping… would you do me the honor of dancing with me?” He stretched out an offered hand.

Rayne visibly swallowed.

Cullen watched her and leaned into her again. “Rayne?”

She quietly sighed and then nodded. “Of course, Your Majesty.” She kissed Cullen once before standing and taking Alistair’s offered hand.

He led her around the table and he was acutely aware of quite a few eyes on them as he led her to the dance floor. Alistair made sure to keep a respective distance and hold on her as he placed a hand on her waist and her hand went to his shoulder.

It was only a few moments before the music began, but it seemed to stretch on an eternity as they awkwardly avoided each other’s gaze. It was a blessing when the music filled the hall and they began moving.

They spun around the room once before Alistair finally chuckled.

“What’s so funny?” Rayne asked with her eyes narrowed.

“Just thinking.”

“Inform the crier,” she said dryly. “It’s a miracle.”

He simply smirked. “Yeah, I deserve that… and a lot more.”

She just stared at him as if waiting for something else. When it didn’t come she sighed. “It was unworthy of me, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I… haven’t used my head a lot when I’m around you. So the jab was well deserved.”

“Perhaps, doesn’t mean I like being cruel.”

“Eh, I’ve heard worse from Morrigan.” He said in amusement.

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t want to aspire to be like Morrigan.”

“You won’t.” He reassured. “Even if the two boys do look a lot alike.”

Rayne cleared her throat and looked away.

Alistair tilted his head but didn’t press it. “I was just thinking: this is the first time we’ve shared a dance since my coronation. Almost feels strange.”

She snorted. “Seems strange to be having a wedding in the middle of a war, yet here we are.”

He gave her a small smile. “Yeah, here we are.”

She bit her lower lip. “Sorry, I—“

“Rayne, stop saying you’re sorry.” He gently chastised. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” He paused and looked down. “If anyone should be apologizing, it’s me.”

“Do you now?” She said lightly.

Alistair looked back into her eyes. “I do.” He said softly. “Rayne… I _am_ sorry for everything. Everything I’ve done, and said… you didn’t deserve it. Here I was claiming to love you, but yet… I was causing you so much pain. And I’m sorry for doing that to you.”

She studied him not saying a word.

He lifted his eyes to the table where Cullen was sitting watching them, ready to leap in should his new wife need him. “I get it now.” He said softly and looked back at her. “I can’t say that I necessarily _like_ it. But I get it. And…” He swallowed hard. “I want to try to… be friends. We were that once, and I would like it again.”

Rayne’s face softened. “You mean that?”

Alistair nodded. “I’m not saying it’s going to be easy for me. But if having you in my life means only having you as a friend, I’m going to take what I can get. Besides,” He said with a smile. “I think Aiden would rather like his parents getting along.”

She tilted her head. “You need to talk to him, by the way.”

“About?”

“He thinks you’re angry with him about keeping Cullen’s secret.”

He groaned in dismay. “Yeah, I can see how I came off that way.” He sighed. “Don’t worry, I’ll talk to him.”

She nodded. “And as to the other… I would like us to be friends… Alistair.”

He smiled. It felt like a good thing that she had actually used his name.

Rayne gave him a warm smile and her body lost its tension. Then she did something unexpected. She tightened her hold on him and closed the gap between them to lay her head on his shoulder, just like the last time they had danced.

Alistair rested his cheek on her head breathing in the scent of berries and spice. “I want you to be happy.” He said softly into her hair. “And if he can do that… then I will be happy for you both.”

“He does.”

“But, just so you know… he ever hurts you in any fashion, I’ll kill him.” He said jokingly. Well, half-jokingly, but she didn’t need to know that.

Rayne chuckled softly. “I think you would have to beat Vector or Varric first.” She said lightly. “But yours in noted.”

Alistair just smiled and held her tightly, envisioning for just a few moments that it was just them and no one else until the song came to an end.

* * *

  
  
[ ](http://imgur.com/DDeP51M)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfits inspired by attire from Game of Thrones.


	102. Amell

After her dance with Alistair she decided to go back out to the garden for some fresh air. Inside was loud and getting hot with all the moving bodies. There may not have been many guests at the wedding itself, but they relented to Josephine and opened up their reception to the nobles and refugees that wanted to join in on the celebration.

Rayne crossed her arms and smiled softly as she looked around. The lanterns were already alight with the gentle blue glow of veil-fire, everything there was basking in that glow making it look like something out of a fairytale. Making her wonder if the day had even truly happened. Maybe she would wake up in her bed from two weeks ago, before Cullen proposed. What did that mean for her if she was dreaming all this?

She breathed deeply through her nose, taking in the scents of flowers both from the gazebo and the garden to be used as herbs.

A hand wrapped around her waist and a body pressed closely to her from behind as the other hand snaked around her collar bone. She placed her left hand over his, weaving her fingers through his, her other arm hugging the one on her chest before she turned her head to the side.

Cullen gently pressed his forehead to her with his eyes closed. “Everything alright?” He asked softly, not wanting to break the peace around them.

Rayne tenderly rubbed her head against his. “Everything is fine.” She rested against him. “Just needed some air.”

He hummed and moved his head to look around but his never left hers.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” She asked.

“Yes… you are.”

She laughed and looked at him out of the corner of her eye, his own molten gold, warm and loving. _“That_ was cheesy.”

Chuckled and kissed her neck. “Maybe.” His breathe tickled her skin. “But you love me for it.”

“Maybe.” She teased.

“Well, you did marry me.”

Rayne kissed his cheek, “Yes, I did.”

“There you two are.” A new voice interrupted.

Cullen released his hold and they both turned to find Alec. “Inquisitor?”

Alec looked around briefly and then looked back to them. “Well, the night is winding down. And I know the two of you… well… y’know.” He cleared his throat.

Rayne gave him a one-sided smile.

“And seeing as I didn’t get you anything for your wedding—“

“Other than a place, convincing Mother Giselle to perform the service… which no doubt had her fidgety.” She said dryly.

“It was simpler than you think.” He said with humor. “I know your room is currently under construction, I would like to offer my room for the night.”

“Inquisitor, we still have my loft…” Cullen started.

“Which isn’t all that romantic, and I can bunk with Dorian. Which I have no qualms with.” Alec interrupted. He grimaced. “And it’s my way of apology as well.”

Rayne looked at him quizzically. “Apology?”

He rubbed his neck. “We just had a small issue arrive that I was hoping Cullen could help with. It has to do with our troops heading to The Approach.”

Cullen immediately nodded, as she knew he would. She understood. The war didn’t stop for anything except one side loosing. “Of course.” He turned to her and took her hand. “Rayne,”

She smiled and squeezed his hand. “Go.” She looked at Alec and smirked. “I’ll be waiting in his quarters.”

* * *

 

It wasn’t long before Cullen returned to her. Just long enough to start a fire and prepare for him. She actually liked having that little bit of time.

Rayne was waiting for him on a fur blanket that she had taken off of Alec’s bed. Despite his offer of the room, she decided she didn’t want to use the bed itself. So she opted to make a bed on the floor. She was watching the flames dance when she heard the door below open and softly close.

“Rayne?” Cullen called.

“I’m here.” She called back and turned in her spot.

His head came over the banister and he looked around, first the bed and then they went to hearth. In the dancing shadows on his face she could barely make out his lips barely parting.

She sat with her knees tucked underneath her, her hands lying in her lap. Shadows and the orange glow danced across her naked body. She had taken down her hair letting it lie gently over her shoulders as she looked up at him.

“That didn’t take long.” She said, jolting him from his spot that he had yet to move from since seeing her.

Cullen licked his lips and finished ascending the stairs. As he came around she saw him working on the belt around his waist, pulling it off and laying it and his sword on a nearby table. “I’ll admit I went faster than usual.” He untied his robes, shrugging them off and tossing them onto the couch before pulling off his shirt leaving him bare-chested and tugging off his boots. “I had the constant reminder that my… wife was waiting for me.”

Rayne smiled and extended a hand to him when he finished pulling off his boots. “Who was already missing her husband.” That word sounded foreign on her tongue, but it also felt good to say. She never thought she would ever utter that word.

He took her hand; the silver band she had given him after their ceremony rippled briefly with orange light. He knelt beside her, pressing their thighs together. He brought up his other hand and pushed her hair away from her face.

“Is everything alright? With the soldiers?” She asked.

“I’d rather not talk about that.” He said. “At least, not tonight.”

She looked down. “I’m sorry.” She chuckled. “I’ve been saying that a lot tonight it seems.”

Cullen lifted her face, “Then we should just stop talking.” He said softly and kissed her.

It started off slow and tender as his hand roamed over her body like he was relearning every curve, every crevice. As if making sure nothing had changed. As the kiss intensified, tongues dueling, Rayne worked at the laces of his pants.

Just as she finished untying them, Cullen wrapped his arms under her and lifted her off the floor bringing her to his lap, her legs wrapping around his waist. Her breathe caught at the sudden movement. He brought a hand to her neck, weaving his fingers into the hair at the base of her head.

He finally released her from their bruising kiss and slowly started a trail of kisses and licks down her neck to her collar bone as he eased his hold around her waist causing her to slowly tilt back to push her chest forward for easier access.

Rayne held onto his shoulders as she tilted her head back and closed her eyes just enjoying the feeling of his lips dancing on her breasts. A gentle moan slipped through her lips as he swirled his tongue around one nipple, teasing the tip with a brush of his teeth before moving over to the next and repeating the process before wrapping his lips around it, sucking and biting gently.

She shuddered and dug her fingers into his shoulders, the warmth she had before he arrived intensified, pooling in the base of her stomach. She involuntarily rolled her hips over his hardened length that was still being denied to her by his pants. Cullen pulled her tightly back to him, his face buried in her breasts, his growl from her rolling against him muffled.

Rayne brought her lips to his ear and nibbled on the top. “Cullen,” she whispered. “Please.”

She felt him shudder beneath her hands. He gradually began lying them back, using one arm to brace them from him crushing her beneath him. Once he was sure she was securely on the blanket, he freed his hold on her and brought his face back to hers and crushed her lips against his before sitting up and slipping finally out of his pants.

Rayne stretched her arms over her head to grip the edge of the blanket as she bit her lower lips watching him.

Cullen lay over her, rubbing his now completely naked body up the length of hers until she felt the head of his cock pressed against her moist lower lips, his eyes never leaving hers. His hand slid up her arm until their palms touched, and he twined his fingers around hers. He pushed deep inside her and she seized at his hand.

There was nothing now but pleasure at the sensation of him, of him filling her, embracing her. She felt warm and loved and he felt so good inside of her. He lowered his mouth to hers, and she reached her arm around him, pulling him closer.

He rocked his hips into her, not enough movement to have him ever leave her, applying pressure in all the right places to make her moan into his mouth. Rayne drew in his lower lip between hers to nibble and suck. When she bit a little too sharply it elicited a primal growl from him.

Cullen raised himself onto his elbows, forcing her to release his lips and mewl in protest when he pulled out of her, leaving only the head inside, taking away the bliss she had just been in by simply enveloping him. He watched her eyes a few moments before thrusting fast inside and slowly slipped out.

Rayne gripped his arms and arched her back as he continued the action. Fast in, slow out. It was agonizing and exquisite all at once. And then on he moved his hand between them as he glided out and slipped a finger into her wet folds, slowly – unbearably slow – searching out her clit. He licked his lips in the way a hungry man did when he eyed a juicy meal when he found his prize.

His finger swirled around her sensitive nub as the head of his cock teased at her entrance. **Maker, how could this man tease her so on their wedding night?**

He watched every reaction, knowing when to speed up or apply more pressure by whatever he saw on her face or in her eyes. Whatever he saw sped his administrations of half-circles. The faster he went the more her hips bucked begging for more, with each thrust of her the head of his shaft slid in and out.

Her fingers went to the blanket beneath her, digging and twisting the fur in her finger as she got closer. Cullen’s fingers worked as quickly as her hips as she whined unintelligible words of want and pleasure until she was pushed over the edge.

Her whines became sobs and sighs, her body went rigid and her toes curled. She may have said something, she wasn’t sure. At that moment she could barely remember her or the man’s name. The only thing she did know then was the bliss and that she loved this man.

Cullen waited for her body to relax before he lowered himself back down, bringing his lips to her ear. “Want more?” His voice husky as he nibbled on her earlobe.

Rayne nodded and wrapped her arms around him.

“Tell me.”

“Please Cullen.” She practically whined. “I want you to make love to me. I _need_ you to.”

He didn’t need any encouragement. He thrust his hips slowly until he was deep enough to be thrush against her. His face nestled into the nook of her neck and kissed her tenderly.

One long stroke out, then back in before he adjusted to slow harder ones that allowed their bodies to be pressed together.

He plowed into her, their breathing becoming rapid. Moans and sobs filled the room. Rayne locked her legs around him getting him deeper.

She couldn’t control the orgasm that rippled through her, her core constricted around his member. Cullen captured her lips to swallow the cry, his own joining hers as he couldn’t hold out any longer. His body went tight against hers as his seed filled her.

He continued to kiss her as their bodies relaxed. Rayne rubbed his sweat slicked back, simply enjoying the feel of muscle beneath her fingers. The way they shifted when he moved, putting to memory every small scar they found.

Her whole body seemed to hum as he shifted to remain over her, but no longer between her thighs. Cullen’s hand went through her wet hair kissing her one last time before sighing and dropping his head to her shoulder and burying his face into her neck.

Rayne ran her fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead, listening to the sounds of his breathing. They lay like that for a good while, allowing their bodies to cool and recover.

It was only once her own heartbeat was now at its regular speed did she speak. “How does it feel to be –as they say – off the market?” She asked softly.

His body shook in a silent chuckle. “It feels… good. Right.”

“Trying to say you should have done it sooner?” She asked lightly.

“Only if it was with you.” Cullen tilted his head enough to look at her. “And you?” A smile spread on his face. “How does it feel to be _Lady_ Rutherford?”

Rayne raised her eyes as if having to think on it and hummed before shrugging. “Eh.”

He raised his head off of her to look down at her. “Eh?”

She looked at him; the edge of her lips twitched trying to contain the smile tugging at them and shrugged.

Cullen’s eyes glinted in amusement. “Eh, is it?” He wrapped his arms around her and rolled holding onto her.

She squealed in surprise as he rolled onto his back bring her on top of him. When they both settled and both were laughing lightly.

Rayne kissed his neck and then his chest. “Other than never liking being _Lady_ anything,” She folded her arms on his chest and rested her chin on top so she didn’t hurt him. “It feels good.” She said softly.

He continued to smile and kissed her forehead. He laid his head down to stare at the ceiling while rubbing her back gently with his fingers.

She studied him and tilted her head. “What are you thinking?”

He looked down, his eyes falling behind her. “How beautiful you are and were. How in Maker’s name did you get your dress finished in less than two weeks? The roses alone…”

She chuckled and looked at the stand where she hung the dress in question. “With a lot of help from extra hands. Especially the roses, which I think I have Cole to thank for.”

Cullen looked at her. “You think?”

She shook her head in amusement. “We would leave the dress alone at night, and the next day a small sack of roses waited next to it.”

“Yes, that does sound like Cole.” His voice laced with laughter.

“I do have to say: I did love your outfit.” She said as she trailed her fingers softly across his chest.

“Did you now?”

Rayne hummed in approval. “Very much so.”

“I admit, I liked it too.” Cullen smirked. “Maybe I’ll talk to Josephine about getting a few sets for every day.”

She slid up his body until they were face-to-face. “I like that idea.” She brought her lips to his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> art by [agregor](https://agregor.deviantart.com/)


	103. In the Weeks After

It was another two days before they even left the room, only interrupted by the occasional kitchen staff that brought them food and drink. A lot of it was raw food, fruits and nuts. The first such platter came with a note in an elegant hand that Cullen recognized as Dorian’s saying they were good for replenishing energy that the newlywed couple was depleting. Along with a rather crude drawing that was no doubt Sera’s handy-work depicting just _how_ they were depleting energy.

Despite how much they were enjoying their honey-moon, they both knew it was time to rejoin the war. They would have a life-time after Corypheus was dead.

Bran was gone by the time they emerged, he had left a note for Cullen congratulating him, welcoming Rayne to the family and thanking them for introducing him to some ‘colorful characters’—as he put it. But he needed to return home. Mia was due any day now and he needed to be there for her, and he missed his own little boy.

Nathaniel left the day they emerged, his mission in the Free Marches too important to put off any longer. Plus, the False Calling was getting to him. He was beginning to understand why the Orlesian Wardens had been seduced or scared by it to act as they were. He journeyed on Isabela’s ship with her, Merrill, Carver and Fenris back to Kirkwall. Nathaniel and Carver left a message for the Inquisitor and Rayne asking them to remember that the Orlesian Wardens did not know what they were doing, and some might not be willing participants.

Isabela was reluctant to leave her lover, but Hawke had told her to go. He needed her to be away from this, he wasn’t finished with his mission. Cullen could see the emptiness in his eyes now that she was gone. But seeing her again had hardened his resolve, reminding him what he was fighting to get back to.

Zevran had stuck around. He was in no rush to leave and he had some possible contracts in Ferelden and Orlais. While he waited on those, he didn’t see any harm in staying and maybe putting his blade to work for the Inquisition.

Alistair, Aiden and Teagan were still at Skyhold, Aiden wanting to see his mother again before leaving back to Denerim. Alistair was actually lively and spending time in the Tavern playing Wicked Grace with Varric, Zevran and The Iron Bull. It was definitely a change from the broody, recluse he had been. Whatever had transpired between him and Rayne had apparently helped him. She didn’t say what had been said between them, and he didn’t ask; he was just happy to see the tension and anger that was once there was now gone.

Things were now moving quickly. The last of the soldiers were arriving at Griffon Wing Keep and siege equipment had already been constructed or moved there to await the siege on Adamant. Everything should be ready within the next two weeks. All was left were those at Skyhold to make the journey.

Since they didn’t have to wait long, Alec chose to stay at Skyhold. The last thing they needed was him to go out to do Maker knows what and end up getting laid up in some other part of Thedas. But the Inquisitor didn’t complain. It was the first time since all this began that he actually had a chance to really breathe and even take a little break. Of course, that didn’t mean there wasn’t plenty to keep him busy there; between judging prisoners that had been waiting in the Sky Cells, going over reconstruction of Skyhold and reports of a wide variety, Alec was never bored.

Within the first week Alistair, Aiden and Teagan finally left – with a lot of coaxing from Rayne. Alistair felt he should go with them; he _was_ a Grey Warden after all, as he was quick to remind them. And Rayne and Josephine were just as quick to remind him that he may be a Grey Warden, but he was _King_ of Ferelden. Gaspard may not be keen on the Ferelden monarch helping lay siege to an Orlesian stronghold, even if it did belong to the Wardens.

He finally relented, albeit with a great deal of grumbling and he left the next day with his son and uncle in tow. Since he couldn’t be involved he didn’t want to remain and just be in the way. It was difficult for Aiden to leave again, but Rayne had promised to send for him when it got closer to the baby’s arrival so he could be there to greet his new brother or sister. That seemed to appease the young prince.

As for Cullen himself, it was a busy two weeks. Working out strategy, sending out orders, preparing those at Skyhold that would be making the trip with the rest of them. It seemed to him that he barely got to see his new bride. At some point during the night she would arrive in his office to head to bed as he was poring over documents of Adamant or something, the first few nights she had tried to get him to join her. He would absently nod and tell her it would be just a few moments.

That ‘few moments’ would end up turning into a few hours. By the time Cullen finally rubbed his bleary eyes and climbed the ladder to their bed it was only a handful of hours until dawn and Rayne would be fast asleep snuggled into the fur blankets trying to keep warm due to the changing temperature in the mountains turning to fall. Winter would soon be upon them.

After those first few nights Rayne had stopped trying, seeing he was a man on a mission. But there were a few nights he would take a break and climb the ladder to simply sit on the barrel he kept as a makeshift table or chair and watch her sleep peacefully. On one night he had been shocked to realize that it had now been two years since the Inquisition was declared. Time had seemed to pass so quickly. How much longer would this continue?

Maker willing, not very much longer. Cullen felt they were getting to the final stretch. Even while they were drawing on a siege to Adamant, Leliana had her people tracking down Corypheus. They all agreed that he wouldn’t be at Adamant; there was no way that Warden-Commander Clarel would willingly serve a darkspawn so they would have to keep Corypheus away from the Wardens— a puppet master in the shadows.

They didn’t have much. Only that Corypheus had been sending people further South. For what was anyone’s guess at this point, they only knew they were investigating elven ruins. Cullen still worked with Alec and Dagna to uncover some way of disabling Samson’s armor.

Through scout reports and what they found in the Emerald Graves, they were pointed to Emprise du Lion – or The Lion, as most called it. Red Templars had something in the works there, what it was, of course, they didn’t know. Josephine already had people setting up a camp there for Alec’s earliest convenience. And with the Inquisitor just as eager to face off against Corypheus’ General on an even playing field, no doubt Alec would be making a side trip to The Lion before returning to Skyhold.

Cullen and Rayne worried about him, he seemed to be stretching himself thin and working far too hard. But they could understand as well, they all wanted this to be over. But Maker only knew just how run down he was. Rayne had attempted to talk to Dorian about Alec, thinking that the Tevinter would know better than most about how the Inquisitor was. But Dorian had said Alec was fine, and there was nothing to worry about.

Rayne didn’t buy it though. But without anything to go, they simply could only watch… and wait.


	104. Cullen

It was the day before their group was to start their trek to The Approach. They hoped to make it there in a week’s time. Weather willing, they would. They no longer had to worry about the civil war unrest throughout Orlais to hinder them. Of course, that didn’t mean there weren’t other dangers to be had on the road. But with the size of the group that would be traveling, with various talents and deadly skills, Cullen had no doubts that they could overcome whatever came their way.

He was walking through the main hall of Skyhold heading to the Undercroft, having finished the last of the reports about Adamant. He had made sure to get everything done at a decent hour; both he and Rayne would need all the sleep they could get.

Cullen’s eyes swept over the hall that was currently empty save for all the construction workers making deafening noises of sawing, hammering and shouting. With the Inquisitor leaving with a majority of the Inquisition’s inner circle, both Alec and Josephine wanted to push forward on trying to finish the main hall so it would look like the place of power that it was, not a decrepit junk heap – even though their Ambassador wasn’t thrilled with Alec’s choice of décor, but he refused to be budged. It was also a good excuse to send the nobles back to wherever they came from while the Inquisitor was gone, leaving only Josephine and Leliana behind to handle things.

He pushed through the door leading to the Undercroft just as Rayne’s spoke.

“Have I ever mentioned how much I despise Warden Armor?” Her voice laced with obvious distaste.

“You are going representing the Wardens aligning with the Inquisition,” Stroud said. “You should look the part.”

Cullen smirked as he stood on the top platform as both Dagna and Harritt worked on her latest fitting.

Stroud had been adamant about Rayne’s attire. She was still a Warden-Commander, she needed to look the part. Unfortunately for her, any armor she had worn during the Blight and anything she had crafted after was now too small due to her rapidly growing belly and chest. With that being the case, that gave Stroud the opportunity to craft something new. Not only something for her station, but allow for ample protection of her and the baby, and allowed for it to be adjusted as need be.

Rayne’s eyes were turned skyward trying to contain her annoyance as Dagna looked over a strap. Trying to make it secure without causing too much pain or restriction.

Cullen walked down taking in her appearance. She wore the typical Warden Mage attire: cloth breeches under form fitting leather boots that went to her knees, with a long-sleeved shirt and a light chainmail tabard covering it all. But instead of the typical colors of blue and silver, hers was all black with the griffons standing out in a sharp silver contrast on her shoulders and tabard.

In truth, it was the only time he had ever seen her covered so much. Usually she had some skin showing, whether it was cleavage or like the armor she wore during the Blight which was designed in the typical Warden Mage fashion but the top portion of the breeches from her hips down to her knees was gone, leaving her peach colored skin underneath bare for maneuverability. Now, the only skin showing came from her hands, and those would be covered by leather gloves when the time came.

“At least you’ll be safe.” Cullen commented. “Which is what matters.” He pointed out.

She brought her eyes to him and frowned. “I’m not even going to be in the fight.”

“A lot can happen in a battle, remember?” He said with a smirk.

Her frown deepened and she turned away making a noise of disgust.

“You could always stay here.” He said, crossing his arms preparing for another argument.

“That’s not going to happen.” She grumbled. But said nothing else, which surprised him.

Dagna finally stepped back and nodded with a wide smile – the dwarf seemed to have a constant amount of positive energy in her. “There. That should do you. And you shouldn’t have to do any adjustments, if you don’t take too long getting to where you’re going.” She gently patted the chainmail, causing it to softly jingle from the contact. “Good leather, metal and a rune for good measure.”

Stroud circled around her, eyeing her up and down. Finally he nodded in approval. “Very good. Excellent work the both of you.”

Dagna beamed at the praise, while Harritt simply nodded and gruffed before turning to a table and rummaging through articles of armor.

Rayne flexed her arms and hands, twisting and turning making sure everything was secure and comfortable. Finally she grudgingly nodded. “It will do. Thank you both.”

Harritt turned back around and handed her elbow length black leather gloves. They looked like they had seen a great deal of use if the scuffing and scratches were any indication. Rayne pulled them on flexing her hand.

Cullen grinned. “You look like a proper Grey Warden now.” He said in amusement.

“Joy.” She said dryly. She never cared for standing out, which was why she chose not to announce her station as a Warden, let along the Warden-Commander. But she had certain settings made to display her affiliation with the organization, just nothing that stood out.

Dagna jumped and scurried to another table, this one full of pieces for weapons. “Oh! Nearly forgot!”

Cullen and Rayne watched her as she pulled out a bundle of red cloth, protecting whatever was inside.

“We had this made for you too.” She gently handed the bundle to Rayne. “There was some extra bone from the last dragon the Inquisitor had slain. Grey Wardens really like dragon bone, right?” She said with a slight laugh.

Rayne’s eyebrows rose and she carefully took apart the cloth, Cullen watched over her shoulder as she unveiled a thin blade that was specifically designed to attach to the end of a staff. The blade was artfully curved and gave off a gentle glow as most weapons made of dragon bone did, if properly crafted that is. Wicked sharp and practically weighed nothing.

As Dagna had said, dragon bone was the prime weapon for Wardens and also dwarves who ventured into the Deep Roads. The blade not only glowed when near darkspawn, but it repelled the taint. If there was one weapon that darkspawn hated and feared the most, it was a weapon made of dragon bone. It was said that King Maric had a legendary sword made of dragon bone that he himself had found during the Rebellion when he was forced to venture into the Deep Roads with Loghain, Rowan and the elf Katriel. Cullen couldn’t help but idly wonder if Alistair had that weapon now.

Rayne carefully lifted the blade and turned it in the light, the sun light streaming through the cave entrance made it glimmer. “It beautiful. And deadly.” She smiled and looked at the two craftsmen. “It’s perfect.”

Even Harritt managed to crack a smirk before turning around and starting his clean up while Dagna was practically glowing.

The door abruptly slammed open, causing them all to jump.

“There you are!” The Iron Bull boomed walking in carrying a medium sized metal box on his shoulder that would have at least needed two men to carry, whereas he easily had it poised on his shoulder as he ducked in the door. “Ah good, Cullen’s with you. Means I don’t have to hunt you both down before giving you this.”

Cullen frowned. “What’s that?”

Bull grinned and dropped the chest on the floor with a _thud_. “A gift!”

Rayne wrapped up the blade, “A gift for what, exactly?”

“A wedding gift. What else?”

“Bull, I appreciate the gesture, but you didn’t have…”

Bull snorted. “It’s not from me. Just glad it arrived before we left.”

Cullen eyed the box suspiciously. “Then _who_ is it from?”

He looked to Rayne and waggled his eyebrows. “The Arishok.” Rayne’s eyes widened in surprise which made Bull laugh. “Yeah, I wrote him before the wedding. Remember I’m supposed to send reports back to my people. And of all the things worth mentioning was the wedding of _Basalit-an_.”

Rayne shook her head. “And he sent… a gift?”

“Wedding gift, as well as a symbol of cooperation between the Qunari and the Inquisition.”

“Ah, yes. That sounds more accurate.” She said dryly and knelt at the chest and lifted the lid on well-oiled hinges. “Uh… it’s… rope?” She said perplexed.

“Typical Qunari gift?” Cullen asked just as baffled. “Give something that could be of use?”

“But rope?”

Bull looked over and laughed. “It’s more than that. Has cloth and leather underneath.”

Rayne looked up at him. “Want to explain? Because I’m just lost.”

The Qunari chuckled as he gently moved her out of the way and handed her a scroll that had been lying on the top and began pulling out some of the contents of the chest.

Rayne shrugged at Cullen and unrolled the parchment in her hand. Her eyes scrolled over the text and her eyes softened and an amused smile came to her face.

“What is it?” Cullen finally asked.

“A letter from Sten… I mean the Arishok.” She smirked at him. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.” Her eyes went back to the letter. “ _Basalit-an_ , I will admit, when _Hissrad_ informed me of your impending marriage I was surprised. Especially when I learned it wasn’t to the oaf Warden.”

“Oaf Warden?” Cullen asked in confusion.

She laughed. “Alistair. During the Blight, Sten didn’t have the best opinion of me or Alistair. Me for being female and Alistair… well, he didn’t think him much a fighter or have much of a spine. From what I understand though, Alistair has since improved in the Arishok’s eyes.”

“But he still calls him an oaf?” He asked in amusement.

“Something’s never change. Much like how I still call him Sten.”

“Something you may wanna work on should you see him again.” Bull interjected as he held up a pair of leather pants and held them up to Rayne’s waist.

She eyed them. “A little big.”

“They’re supposed to be.”

She shook her head and turned her attention back to the letter. “I knew that an explosion could not kill a spirit like yours, not even a magical one. I suspect being a mage possibly helped. A token to you. As always, I pray I never see you on the battlefield _Kadan.”_ She rolled up the scroll finishing.

“An interesting way to finish a letter.” Cullen said watching Bull sort out rope.

“It was something he once said to me. He believes, as do most Qunari, that his people will invade the South. And he hopes to never find me there, because it means he would no doubt have to fight me.”

“Ah. _Kadan?”_

“A term of endearment. Has a few different meanings. But its literal meaning is: where the heart lies. So, someone you care for.”

“Think of it like that _Vhenan_ the two of you use on each other.” Bull said standing. “My heart.”

Cullen raised any eyebrow at Rayne.

“It wasn’t like that.” She said dryly. “Are you ever going to tell me what this is?”

Bull grinned. “Armor of the _Antaam-saar._ And it looks like he sent one for each of you.”

“Stupid question: How is a bunch of rope armor?”

“This is our more relaxed armor.” Bull paused and thought a moment. “The kind we use for raids. Not our war armor.”

“Yes, that explains it all.” She said sarcastically.

Cullen shook his head in amusement just watching.

“You’ll better understand once you get it on. You’ll need someone to teach you of course.” Bull gave her a sly smile.

“And that is what mannequins are for.” Rayne said cheerily, completely deflating Bull’s hopes. “But not today. Perhaps when we return for Adamant.”

“Fine, fine.” Bull huffed and began storing everything again.

“Besides,” Cullen chimed. “All that rope… it doesn’t seem it would be comfortable for a pregnant woman.”

“You’d be surprised.” Bull said hefting the chest back onto his shoulder as easily as a bag of flour. “Where the ropes are placed, may be more comfortable.” He gave Cullen a nudge. “And you can use those ropes for other fun activities.”

Rayne laughed. “We haven’t ventured there, Bull.”

“Good as time as any to start.” He said with a grin and headed for the door.

Cullen rubbed his head trying to keep images of Rayne tied to their bed out of his head, but it was a losing battle.

* * *

 

He tossed and turned in their bed. Cullen was finding it difficult to stay asleep, for no other reason that he was so wound tight that he just couldn’t get comfortable.

Finally he sighed and rolled over to where Rayne was sleeping beside him; hoping maybe holding her would relax him. And he would have tried… if she had been there.

Cullen immediately sat up and looked around the small loft, but saw nothing. “Rayne?” He called out.

But there was no answer.

He frowned and threw off his blankets and quickly threw on a shirt, not bothering to button it. Down in the office there was still no sign of her. **Where is she?** He wondered to himself before opening the door to the battlements.

A guard outside his door immediately snapped to attention. “Commander.”

Cullen frowned looking around, his breath coming up in a white puff displaying how cold it was becoming. “Have you seen my wife?” He asked.

The guard nodded and pointed down the ramparts. “She said she was going for a walk.”

Cullen shook his head and went back inside his office and tugged on his boots and grabbed his fur lined coat. Not even he was dumb enough to go walking across cold stone barefoot. He walked down the battlements, going directly to her usual spot above the bridge.

He found her leaning against the stone wall, overlooking the valley below them that was currently hidden in darkness; the only light coming from the magical orbs by the front gate that was currently closed for the guards to see. Rayne was bundled up in the winter fur coat that was a gift from Nathaniel, he had jokingly said he knew her all too well; she wouldn’t have one for the winter approaching. Puffs of white drifted about her when she breathed. The quarter moon in the sky barely illuminating her but the stars shone brightly.

Cullen came up behind her and slipped his hands around her growing belly, gently rubbing it as he laid his head against hers. She was nearly six months along now and seemed to be growing by the day, which annoyed her to no end. He knew it was becoming a chore to climb the ladder to his loft and prayed their room would be habitable again soon.

“Is everything alright?” He asked softly, not wanting to break the still in the cool air. A gentle breeze ruffled her hair to tickle his nose.

Rayne placed a hand over his and leaned into his embrace. “Everything is fine.”

“Then why are you out here in the middle of the night, in the cold? And not asleep?”

She chuckled. “I could ask you the same. The not asleep part.”

“You could, but I asked you first.” He tightened his hold, careful as not to squeeze too hard.

“I just couldn’t sleep.” She paused and tilted her head. “I was the same way the night before we marched from Redcliffe to Denerim to fight the archdemon.”

Cullen turned his head to see the side of her face. He brought a hand up and moved the hair from her face to see her better. “You’re worried. Just like you were then.”

“I guess I am.” She said softly.

“We’ll be fine, Rayne.”

She shook her head. “This is different. I’m not going up against some monstrous foe this time.” Her face filled with sadness. “I’m going up against my brother and sister Wardens.”

Cullen watched her with a heavy heart as a tear escaped down her cheek that she quickly wiped away. He didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t going to be easy in general to go up against the Wardens, for anyone. Not only because they were heroes, but because they would be great fighters.

Wardens only recruited the best, which made their small numbers formidable. He remembered the story of the Battle of Soldier’s Peak, how only a handful of Warden’s compared to the Royal Army that went to meet them to snuff them out, and King Arland’s forces nearly lost.

“I thought…” Rayne said softly. “I thought that what happened at Ostagar would be the only time I would see so many Wardens get slaughtered. And then Vigil’s Keep happened. And neither of those will compare to what will happen at Adamant.”

“And we may be able to save Warden lives.” He said. “With luck, we can convince them to lay down their arms.”

“Not before we kill a good deal.” She whispered. “First the mages at the tower and now…” She shook her head and took a deep shaky breath trying to control emotions, which was becoming more difficult for her.

Cullen kissed her neck. “We’ll do everything we can, Rayne.” She tightened her grip on his arm. “I swear it.” His eyes went skyward sending a prayer to the Maker for the days to come.

For the safety of his wife.

The safety of his unborn child.

And the strength to not only fight the Wardens, but the strength to show them mercy.


	105. Amell/Trevelyan

She sat atop Elgar as the procession of soldiers and siege equipment filed beside her, all heading to their destination. Adamant glowed in the distance, the Wardens having no doubt seen the army bearing down on them. And Rayne felt torn being against them

She shifted her weight trying to get comfortable, the pain in her lower back from sitting there and her rather large belly was a growing ache. But she kept her discomfort silent. Last thing she needed was Cullen or Alec running to her to dote on her like a mother hen, because not only did she not need that nonsense, but because they had enough to worry about as is.

The entire trip Cullen had made sure that someone was always with her if he wasn’t able to be, despite her growing agitation. He acted like she hadn’t done this before. She knew her body, and what she was and wasn’t capable of.

The more she thought about all this coddling the more irritated she became and her temper tried to flare.

Rayne took a deep steadying breath to calm herself. Her emotions were becoming more erratic lately. She cried over the most mundane things and her anger flared at the smallest things, constantly jumping from one emotion to another. It was exhausting. And then of course Bull made the mistake of saying she was being hormonal, he had seen it with the _Tamassran,_ and of course he said that within earshot. He was gifted with a lightning bolt to the ass.

Of course he was right in the end, but she was annoyed at him voicing it.

At least she wasn’t suffering from morning sickness anymore.

Despite being as annoyed as she was with Cullen’s coddling, she had to remind herself that whereas she was familiar with this pregnancy game, Cullen was a first time father. She remembered Nathanial and how he acted. He attempted to be more subtle about it, but he was just as much a mother hen. Anders, on the other hand, was the opposite. She had to wonder if it was because he felt he was a good enough healer to be ready for anything.

Rayne shook her head and turned in her saddle.

Her eyes went to Cole who rode beside her on a steed that still caused those in the Inquisition to shudder slightly. It was a black horse that had once been a noble and proud beast. But not anymore. Death had claimed it many years ago making it nothing more than skin and bone, with some patches of rotted flesh and glowing red eyes indicating the necromancy magic that kept it going; no one really knew just _how_ long the horse had been dead. A sword thrust into the top of his head indicated just how he had died, making him look like a dark and twisted unicorn.

But whereas the rest of the Inquisition was uneasy around the horse, Cole had taken to it. Which was a good thing, seeing as most horses were skittish around the boy, but the undead steed was not. So Alec was more than willing to gift the horse to Cole. Rayne had asked him once if he ever planned on naming the horse. His reply: “It already has a name. He’s called horse.”

Rayne didn’t try explaining to him about the concept of naming animals. She just let him do as he will.

She noted now however that Cole was gripping the reins of his horse to the point of his knuckles turning white. She put a hand on his shoulder, causing him to jump. “Cole? Are you going to be okay?” She was worried what coming to Adamant would do to him.

Cole closed his eyes tightly and began breathing hard through his nose.

The sound of an approaching horse caused her to turn. “Inquisitor?”

Alec came up beside her. “Everything alright?” He eyed her carefully.

Rayne rolled her eyes. “ _I’m_ fine.” She turned back to Cole. “Cole on the other hand…”

Alec hummed in thought bringing her attention back to him. Worry etched his features as he ran a hand through his growing hair that she noted was down to his shoulders now. “Maybe he should stay back with you and Cullen?” He offered.

“No.” Cole abruptly said.

Rayne turned to him. “Cole, this place…”

He shook his head. “I want to help.” He looked at Alec. “I came to help.”

She shrugged at Alec.

He nodded. “Alright. Go join the others to stand ready to rush through the gate when its time.”

Cole looked calmer and nodded. He headed to the rest of the group.

They watched him go.

“So, how are you?” Alec asked.

Rayne’s shoulders went rigid in annoyance.

“I’m not talking about that.” He said in equal annoyance. “I’m talking about…” He sighed and motioned with his head to Adamant. “With _this._ ”

Her eyes went to the Warden post and a heaviness settled on her. “I’m about to help kill my brother and sister Wardens. How _should_ I be?” Her voice more sharp than she intended.

“We’re going to try and save as many as possible, Rayne.” He said softly.

“There will be a good deal of bloodshed before then.”

Alec watched her with worry and sadness.

She sighed and waved a hand. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. You have enough on your plate. Go on.”

He studied her a few moments longer before tilting his head and turning his horse away.

“Alec,” Rayne called out. He turned and raised an eyebrow. “Andraste guide you.”

He smirked. “Coming from the non-Andrastian.”

“Hey, she was real. I know that.” She said with a laugh.

* * *

She kept pace alongside Cullen as he ran through the now destroyed front gates of Adamant to speak with the Inquisitor before he headed deeper into the keep.

Rayne’s eyes went to the battlements, watching as Wardens and demons flee from Inquisition forces that were streaming in on them. She heard screams of the wounded and dying, and projectiles flying overhead to crash somewhere within.

Smoke made it difficult to breathe and cast everything in a haze. But that didn’t hide the dead bodies around them.

 **All we’re missing is darkspawn.** She thought sourly thinking of Denerim.

A screech from above caught her attention.

A Rage Demon charged an Inquisition soldier from behind.

Frowning, Rayne conjured lightning in her hand, the tiny bolts jumped between her fingertips. She threw her arm forward casting the lightning and hitting her mark.

The demon made a sound like nails on glass before the soldier turned and finished it off. He raised his sword to her in thanks before going back into the fray.

She turned her eyes back to ground level.

Cullen and Alec were both staring at her. A scowl of annoyance on Cullen’s and a smirk of amusement on Alec’s.

She shrugged. “What?”

“What do you think you’re doing?” Cullen’s voice hard.

“Helping.” She said as if it wasn’t obvious.

“I thought you said you would stay out of the fighting.”

“No, as I recall I said I would stay by your side. Is it my fault you came in here?”

Cullen rolled his eyes and said a few more words to Alec before coming to her and taking her by the arm. “Come on.”

* * *

* * *

 

He fell onto his back hard, knocking the breath from his lungs. He groaned and closed his eyes as he felt sick to his stomach from the fall.

“Maker’s breath.” He groaned.

“Uh, don’t think that will do any good, _Amatus._ ” Dorian said from somewhere nearby.

Alec grabbed his head. “What are you talking abou…” His jaw fell open as he finally took in his surroundings.

The land was black with a green sheen, all sharp hills, mountains and other rock formations. Devoid of plant life but water covered everything. Statues that looked Tevinter in origin spotted the landscape. As strange as all that was, it was nothing compared to what was above him.

Chunks of rock and mountains floated far above him, statues of hooded men stood as tall – if not taller – than Skyhold with hands out in front of them as if waiting for an offering. A green haze made everything slightly blur at the edges of his vision.

Alec slowly stood on shaky knees as he saw a short distance into the sky, near a swirling vortex of black and green that reminded him of the Breach, was a huge mass of land with what looked like spires of a city. He had been aware in the Fade enough to know what he was looking at.

“The Black City.” He breathed out in disbelief. Then that meant…

A groan caught his attention and he jumped away.

Stroud stood over his head at an angle that should have had the Warden falling on top of Alec. He looked around in bewilderment. “Where are we?” He asked rubbing his head. He turned and looked down, his eyes widening in a mix of fright and disbelief.

Alec turned across from Stroud and found Hawke looking around. He was in as much disbelief as Stroud, but as a mage – just like Alec – slow recognition came in. “We were falling.” He said slowly still taking everything in. He shook his head roughly and he frowned. “If this is the afterlife, the Chantry owes me an apology. This looks nothing like the Maker’s bosom.”

Alec shook his head; there was the typical Amell wit he had come to anticipate.

Stroud frowned. “No. The Inquisitor used the Mark to open another rift.”

He looked down at his pulsing green hand and gritted his teeth at the jabbing pain as he pulled back the power there as the events slowly came back to him.

They were running after Clarel, who in turn had been chasing after Erimond who had summoned Corypheus’ archdemon to the fight after Clarel finally started to realize that maybe she had been deceived. They managed to find the Warden-Commander and the Magister near a precarious ledge as the archdemon wreaked havoc on Adamant, everyone and everything inside – ally or foe.

Clarel had just been preparing for her final blow against Erimond when the archdemon descended on her and caught her in his massive maw of teeth. The fact that that hadn’t immediately killed her was impressive. She had landed near the edge of the precipice and the dragon stalked to its prey.

In a last stitch effort, Clarel had cast one final spell on the beast and hit her mark. But the resulting concussion from the spell and the dragon crashing onto the already unstable ruins around them caused it all to begin to crumble. Clarel no doubt perished in the fall or when the archdemon fell upon her after being hit.

Alec, Hawke, Stroud, Dorian, Cole and Blackwall were also caught in the collapse and were falling to their deaths. In desperation, Alec had inadvertently tapped into the Mark and opened a rift.

“We fell through.” Stroud continued as all this played in Alec’s head. “I believe we are in the Fade.”

Alec took in his surroundings again. And then he saw Cole.

The boy was in a panic, looking like a mouse caught in a trap. His eyes wide, pupils making the ice blue black. “No, no no no no.” He spun around, breathing hard. “This is the Fade, but I’m stuck. I can’t… why can’t I…?”

Fear gripped Alec and he rushed over to Cole and grabbed him by the shoulders to ground him.

Cole shook his head violently. “This place is wrong. I made myself forget when I made myself real, but I know it wasn’t like this.” His eyes shut tightly as if trying to will away what was happening. Grabbing his head, his fingers gripping his hair to the point that it no doubt hurt. “Wrong, wrong, wrong. Wringing me out. Wrought right and rigid. Can’t relax. Can’t release…”

“Cole!” Alec snapped, but not unkindly. “It’s all right, Cole.” He said more gently. “We’ll get you out of here soon.”

The boy slowly opened his eyes and looked into Alec’s.

He held Cole’s gaze, trying to bring him back to the rest of them.

Finally Cole closed his eyes slowly and took a deep breath through his nose and released his slowly through his lips. Alec felt his body relax under his hands that were still holding him. Cole opened his eyes, they were no longer dilated, they still looked frightened at the edges but he was no longer in hysterics. “Thank you.” He said softly.

Alec held his gaze for a moment longer before releasing him.

Hawke grunted. “It’s not how I remember the Fade, either.”

Dorian came up beside Alec. “The first time I entered the Fade, it looked like a lovely castle filled with gold and silks. I met a marvelous desire demon, as I recall. We chatted and ate grapes,” He brought a hand to his chin as he remembered, talking about his experience as if it was absolutely normal to chat up with a desire demon. “Before he attempted to possess me.”

Alec shook his head.

“Perhaps the difference is that we are here physically.” Dorian continued. “This is no one’s dream.”

Hawke crossed his arms in thought. “The stories say you walked out of the Fade.” He said to Alec. “Was it like this?”

He frowned. “I don’t know.” He said hesitantly. “I still can’t remember what happened the last time I did this.”

“Well, whatever happened at Haven,” Stroud put in. “We can’t assume we’re safe now.”

Hawke looked around. “That huge demon was right on the other side of that rift Erimond was using, and there could be others.”

 **Lovely.** Alec thought to himself. He shouldn’t be too surprised by that. The Fade _was_ their domain after all. It just was one more thing to make this difficult. And at that moment he wished Solas was with them. He was their residential Fade expert, after all. But he had sent him with Cassandra and Varric to another area of Adamant to help the Inquisition forces there.

“In our world, the rift the demon came through was nearby.” Stroud said scratching his chin in thought. “In the main hall. Can we escape the same way?”

Alec went forward looking around, his eyes continued to go to the swirling mass in the sky. “It beats waiting around for demons to find us, right?” He pointed to the mass. “There. Let’s go.”

Their small group moved slowly ahead. Feet splashed in shallow puddles, the sound seeming far too loud in his heightened state. He steeled himself for whatever was to come.

Alec’s foot slid into a deeper puddle, causing him to curse and shake his foot. “What is it with the South? Everything is always wet.” He grumbled.

Dorian smirked. “There is nothing wrong with being wet, _Amatus._ Things get rather… slippery that way.” He said as he passed by.

Alec felt the heat surge to his cheeks as Hawke passed by with a laugh. With a grunt he went forward climbing a steady incline up a hill, pointedly avoiding Stroud’s gaze.

At the top he looked around trying to get his bearings on which way they could go. Then a figure close by caught his attention. His eyes narrowed as the green haze revealed a woman he had never actually met, at least that he could remember, but knew enough about to know who it was. Her garments were another giveaway to her identity.

“By the Maker,” Stroud whispered. “Could that be…?”

The elderly woman smiled warmly at them, as if she had been waiting for them all for some time. She wore the traditional robes of the Divine; white robes with a red tabard and gold sunbursts and a sword representing the Templars. A tall hat covers her head, but did not hinder her wrinkled face from being seen.

“I greet you, Warden.” She said to Stroud in a thick Orlesian accent. “And you, Champion.” She said to Hawke.

Alec slowly approached her; he felt the others behind him ready to defend if need be. “Divine… Justinia?” He asked

She tilted her head and smiled at him.

He shook off his shock and frowned, remembering the vision that he had seen at his first attempt to close the Breach. “Back at Haven, I saw… I thought I saw… How can you be here?”

“She’s not.” Stroud said sadly. “I fear we face a spirit… or a demon.”

It was logical. Alec amended. But why choose the Divine’s appearance?

Justinia – or whoever or whatever she was – also chuckled. “You think my survival impossible, yet here you stand alive in the Fade yourselves.”

 **She has a point.** Alec thought. And this wasn't his first time physically in the Fade. But could the Divine truly survive this long here?

“In truth, proving my existence either way would require time we do not have.” Justinia continued.

“Really?” Hawke asked in annoyance. “How hard is it to answer one question? I’m a human,” he said pointing at himself. “And you are…”

“I am here to help you.” Was her answer.

Alec was conflicted. The fact that she refused to say exactly what she was troubled him, on the other hand, they were in need of help and he didn’t feel anything hostile about her. But that could be just a clever rouse.

Justinia looked back at him, her grey eyes piercing into him. “You do not remember what happened at the Temple of Sacred Ashes, Inquisitor.”

His distrust grew. “The real Divine would have no way of knowing that I’d been made Inquisitor.”

She smiled at him, like what he said was the most humorous thing she had heard in a long time. “I know because I have examined memories like yours, stolen by the demon that serves Corypheus.” She turned, looking around them. “It is the Nightmare you forget upon waking. It feeds off memories of fear and darkness. Growing fat upon the terror.

 “The false Calling that terrified the Wardens into making such grave mistakes?” Justinia said. “It’s work.”

Stroud softly growled. “I would gladly avenge the insult this Nightmare dealt to my brethren.”

Justinia nodded as if that was the reaction she foresaw. “You will have your chance. Brave Warden. This place of darkness is its lair.”

“Corypheus seems to have a lot of demons at his disposal. How does he command so many?” Alec asked.

She shrugged helplessly. “I know not how he commands his army of demons. His power may come from the Blight itself. But the Nightmare serves willingly, for Corypheus has brought much terror to this world. He was one of the Magisters who unleashed the First Blight upon the world, was he not?” Her face turned sad. “Every child’s cry as the archdemon circles, every dwarf’s whimper in the Deep Roads… the Nightmare has fed well.”

A shiver went up Alec’s spine at the thought. “That big demon Erimond was trying to bring through?”

“Yes.”

“It’s nearby?”

“Yes.”

Alec paused a few moments, just letting that unfortunate news sink in. “Well… shit,” was the only reply he could formulate, not currently caring if this was the actual Divine.

It didn’t faze her. “When you entered the Fade at Haven, the demon took part of you. Before you do anything else, you must recover it.”

She waved her hand.

Alec jumped as four spirits materialized nearby, currently oblivious of those around them.

“These are your memories, Inquisitor.” Justinia explained.

Apprehension gripped him. Torn between wanting to finally know the truth and dreading what that truth might be.


	106. Trevelyan

Alec grabbed his head and lurched forward, falling onto his knees as the memory of the sacrifice of the Divine faded.

 **The Wardens?** He thought in dismay. **They had been a part of it all along?** He looked down at his marked hand. **And the Anchor… Not a gift of the Maker, but an accident taken from that damnable orb that Corypheus wields.**

Alec never thought he was the Herald of Andraste, let alone chosen by the Maker himself. Knowing for certain now actually seemed to lift a weight off his shoulders. But the fact that this thing in his hand was the byproduct of a spell he interrupted by Corypheus made him cringe.

“Amatus?” Dorian’s hands held his shoulders.

Alec looked up at him and the worry on his lover’s face. He nodded that he was fine and slowly rose.

“So your Mark did not come from Andraste.” Stroud said, mimicking his own thoughts. “It came from the orb Corypheus used in his ritual.”

Justinia nodded. “Corypheus intended to rip open the Veil, use the Anchor to enter the Fade, and throw open the doors of the Black City. Not for the Old Gods but for himself. When you disrupted his plan, the orb bestowed the Anchor upon you instead.”

Alec couldn’t help but chuckle. “I never thought Andraste did this. I did this myself, through my actions.” He grinned. “No Maker required.”

Justinia gave him an amused smile. “And now you may be certain. You cannot escape the lair of the Nightmare until you regain all that it took from you. You have recovered some of yourself, but now it knows you are here.

 **Peachy.** Alec thought dryly.

“You must make haste. I will prepare the way ahead.” And with those final words, Justinia disappeared.

“Something troubles you, Hawke?” Stroud asked behind him. Alec turned.

Hawke’s face was etched in a deep scowl of anger as he turned his icy glare on the Warden. “I wondered if you might be concerned about the Grey Wardens holding the Divine in that vision.” His voice was sharp as a dagger. “Their actions led to her death.”

Stroud did not falter or take the bait, he remained calm. “I assume he had their minds, as you have seen him do before.”

He had a point. Alec recalled there only being mages in the group with Corypheus, and he the ritual to help him control them.

Stroud sighed when Hawke’s glare didn’t go away. “Come. We can argue after we escape this dark place.”

“Oh, I intend to.”

Alec stayed in his spot as the rest filed past him. He couldn’t help but think of Blackwall and Rayne. He could only imagine how Blackwall was taking these visions, damning his brethren. And Rayne? How would she take it?

* * *

 

Alec had gotten used to the visions effects. But that didn’t stop a gasp from escaping him as this last one faded. His eyes were wide as they fell on the Divine… or what _pretended_ to be the Divine.

“It was you.” He said softly.

The Divine’s face fell.

“They thought it was Andraste sending me from the Fade, but it was the Divine behind me.” He said, still processing it all. “And then you… she died.”

Justinia looked down a moment, unable to meet his gaze. And then raised it again. “Yes.”

“So this creature is simply a spirit.” Stroud said.

“You don’t say.” Hawke replied sarcastically.

“I am sorry if I disappoint you.” Justinia said to Hawke.

Even Hawke couldn’t keep his scowl of indignation on his face against the sincerity of her words.

Golden light bloomed from behind her eyes and in her mouth. In a brilliant flash of light that forced them all to look away, when they turned back in the place of the false Justinia was a hovering spirit made of pure light that outlined a humanoid form, but no distinguishing characteristics.

Alec gazed in awe at the sight. “Are you… her?” He asked. “Did you linger here to help me, instead of passing on?”

“If that is the story you wish to tell, it is not a bad one.” It replied.

“What we do know is that the mortal Divine perished at the Temple,” Hawke growled and spun on Stroud. “Thanks to the Grey Wardens.”

At this point, Stroud had had enough of the accusations thrown his way. His face screwed in anger. “As I said, The Grey Wardens responsible for that crime were under the controls of Corypheus.” Alec could see him trying to rein back his temper. “We can discuss this further once we return to Adamant.”

But Hawke wasn’t having it. He was on a rampage now. “Assuming that the Wardens and their demon army didn’t destroy the Inquisition while we were gone.”

And like that, Stroud snapped. “How _dare_ you judge us?” He growled. “ _You_ tore Kirkwall apart and started the mage rebellion!”

Hawke charged the Warden, shoving his face into Stroud’s. “To protect mages. Not madmen drunk on blood magic! But you’d ignore that, because you can’t imagine a world without the Wardens… even if that’s what we need!”

Alec’s eyes widened. How could Hawke forget that his own cousin and brother were Wardens? From all the stories that Alec had heard, the Wardens were the one thing that saved them both from death or Tranquility. But just like Rayne being a blood mage, Hawke conveniently forgot these things.

“What are you saying?” Blackwall finally chimed in. “You want to get rid of the Wardens? Everyone makes mistakes. They would’ve died to save us!”

Dorian came up behind Alec. “They might still be useful.” He said softly, not really wanting to get into the debate, but unable not give his opinion on the matter. “What if Corypheus conjures another Blight? You never know.”

Alec finally shook himself. This was something that they didn’t need right now. He shoved himself between the two men and pushed them apart before they came to blows. He looked at Hawke square in the eye, “Stroud isn’t defending blood magic or demons.”

Hawke frowned, but said nothing.

“You know the cost of a Blight as well as any of us, Hawke.” He continued more softly. “The Grey Wardens are the only force that can stop that.”

Hawke’s face softened and pain came in place of anger.

They all knew the tale of the Champion, all thanks to Varric and a bit from Rayne. Hawke had not only lost his home in Lothering, but his sister had been killed by an ogre in their flight from the darkspawn horde that descended on them. And then Carver had been infected by the taint on an excursion in the Deep Roads. Had it not been for Anders showing them where to find Stroud, his brother would have died.

Both Stroud’s and Hawke’s eyes widened.

“Inquisitor…” Hawke said in warning.

Alec turned and sighed in annoyance as demon spiders quickly approached.

“The Nightmare has found us.” The Spirit that had once been Justinia said and vanished.

Alec felt Hawke and Stroud close in behind him.

“Form up!” Stoud ordered to everyone.

“I’m with you!” Hawke said readying his staff.

Alec readied his own and waited for the spiders to come.

 **Ugh… why does it always have to be spiders?** He thought to himself.

* * *

 

Alec jumped through the rift, trying to close out the war cry from Stroud and the grunts of pain that followed as the Warden attacked the Nightmare demon to buy him and Hawke the time needed to escape.

He rolled when he felt his feet land on stone. Stroud fighting was replaced by dozens of swords hitting metal and cries of pain from both men and demons. He opened his eyes and slowly rose, quickly taking in the scene of Inquisition forces all around him fighting demons.

The pain of having to sacrifice one of his allies hurt more than he thought possible. His eyes narrowed and his face set into a snarl as he raised his marked hand summoning the magic of the Anchor into the rift where demons still poured through.

He cried out as he pulled against the rift, slamming it shut with the sound of thunder and the smell of ozone. Demons everywhere around him screeched, causing him to grit his teeth against the sound assailing his ears, as they melted away; being sent back into the Fade.

Alec exhaled sharply reining the Mark’s power back in as a cheer went up around him from his forces and – surprisingly – Warden warriors.

“She was right.” Hawke said, slightly limping to Alec. “Without the Nightmare to control them, the mages are free, and Corypheus loses his demon army.”

He managed a shaky smile. A small victory. But the cost…

“Though as far as they’re concerned,” Hawke continued, motioning to the crowd around them with a smirk on his face. “The Inquisitor broke the spell with the Blessing of the Maker.”

Alec frowned and looked around at the faces of the men and women under his command. They looked up at him in awe, as if he alone stopped the horde of demons from slaughtering them all. And all with what they see as a blessing from the Maker. But none of that was true.

“Once they understand what really happened…” Alec started.

Hawke shook his head. “They’ll be terrified. I for one am tired of giving fear demons anything to feed on.” He smiled. “Let them have their story.”

Alec looked again to the soldiers. Hawke was right of course. But that didn’t mean that it sat well with him. He didn’t need people putting him on an even higher pedestal.

“Inquisitor.”

Alec looked up and smiled when he saw a runner approaching with Rayne and another Warden in tow. But his smile fell when he saw how hollow her face looked; pain was so deeply etched in that she looked to have aged years in just a few hours.

“The archdemon flew off as soon as you disappeared.” The runner informed him.

Rayne stepped beside the runner, “the Venatori Magister is unconscious but alive.” Her voice was heavy. “Cullen thought you might wish to deal with him yourself.” She turned to the Warden beside her. “As for the Wardens, those who weren’t corrupted helped us fight the demons.”

The Warden bowed in respect with his fist on his chest. “We stand ready to help make up from Clarel’s… tragic mistake.” He looked around. “Where is Stroud?”

Hawke’s face fell and he looked away in shame for the hot words of anger he had said to the man.

Alec’s own heart clenched in his chest. “Warden Stroud died striking a blow against a servant of the Blight.” His voice rang out for all to hear. He wanted each and every one of them to know that Stroud died a hero. “We will honor his sacrifice, and remember how he exemplified the ideals of the Grey Wardens.” A lump formed in his throat that he cleared away quickly to finish. “Even as Corypheus and his servants tried to destroy you from within.

Rayne shook her head heavily and stared at the ground.

The Warden looked around and then turned back to him. “Inquisitor, we have no one left of any significant rank.” He said in dismay and his voice heavy with regret. “What do we do now?”

Hawke and Rayne looked at him expectantly. Even though Rayne was technically a Warden-Commander, she had the rank, just not here in Orlais. She deferred to his judgment.

And now fear gripped him. At this moment, the future of the Orlesian Wardens was in his hands.

Yes, they had been instrumental in the destruction of the Conclave. Not only sacrificing the Divine, but killing Maker only knew how many others there that had gone in peace. It was through sheer happenstance that Alec had even come across the ritual and disrupted Corypheus, marking him forever in the process.

But were they truly at fault? The Wardens were being controlled through fear by Corypheus, and the mages being controlled like puppets. They weren’t in their right frame of mind or under their own control. People did crazy and even stupid things when frightened. And the Wardens thought what they were doing was the right choice, with all the best intentions.

And he remembered what he said to Hawke. If the world fell to another Blight, the Wardens _would_ be needed. Rayne had made that clear; only a Warden could kill an archdemon.

Ferelden had once made the mistake of exiling the Wardens from their country. Had it not been for King Maric letting them back in… Maker, Ferelden and most of Thedas probably would have fell to the Fifth Blight before Wardens from the North even got to the darkspawn. And whereas the Fifth Blight only lasted a year, it may have gone on for decades like previous Blights. Hundreds of thousands would have died.

Alec steeled himself for the repercussions of his decision as he raised his head high. “You stay and do whatever you can to help.”

Rayne’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. She fully expected him to exile the Wardens for all they had done.

But he had made a promise to her. He would save as many as he could. No doubt many in the Inquisition would disapprove of his choice – judging by Cole’s scowl, he was one of those – but he stood by his decision. Until the last archdemon was slain, the world needed Wardens.

“Stroud died for the Ideals of the Wardens.” Alec continued, and remembered the Warden’s words. “In war, victory. And we are still at war. Do you believe the Wardens can still help?”

The Warden warrior nodded. “I do, Your Worship.”

He nodded and clasped his hands behind his back attempting to look like a man in command. He didn’t have Cullen’s charisma and sheer power of presence, but he tried. “You’re still vulnerable to Corypheus, and possibly his Venatori.” He warned. “But there are plenty of demons that need killing.”

The Warden Warrior’s eyes burned bright with determination.

Hawke gave him a half smile and nod of approval. “While they do that, I’ll inform the Wardens at Weisshaupt what’s happened. Best they not get caught off guard.”

Rayne turned to her cousin. “I’ve sent word ahead, but they will want to know what transpired here in detail. Are you sure you should go alone? Will they even listen to you?”

“Stroud informed them of my involvement in all this.” He said in amusement. “Someone’s gotta do it, right?”

She smiled and pulled Hawke into a tight hug. “Stay safe. I would hate to have to deal with Isabela’s wroth should something happen to you.”

Hawke hugged her tightly and pulled away. He gave her a wink and turned back to Alec. “Good luck with your Inquisition.” He smirked. “Try not to start an Exalted March on anything.” He said in amusement.

Alec chuckled.

“And… take care of Varric for me.” He said softly.

He nodded and watched as Vector Hawke turned and wove his way through the courtyard and vanished through the doorway that would lead to his exit.


	107. Cullen

He grabbed one of the soldiers. “Have you seen the Captain?” He asked, worry starting to worm its way into his belly.

The recruit pointed to the ruined gates of Adamant. “She headed back inside, Sir. She asked to be left alone.”

Cullen frowned. He scanned the area, “Make sure the Warden Mages are watched. I don’t want to run the risk that their break from control is just a ruse.”

The soldier saluted and went to do as he was bid.

Cullen rubbed his forehead feeling the dregs of the headache that had come during the fighting. It was being stubborn and left its claws buried. With a sigh and pushing away the pain enough to appear fine. He headed back to the battlefield.

It didn’t take much to find her in the ruins. She was just inside the front gate standing in the middle of the rubble of stone and splintered wood, small fires still burned enough to cast the area in a grey fog. The night wind whistled through the stone archways, making the scene even more morbid. Soldiers worked in collecting the bodies, but kept a wide berth around her.

He slowly approached watching her. Rayne’s head hung and it seemed something was in her hand. “Rayne?”

She didn’t answer him.

He come up beside her and finally saw her.

Her eyes may have been fixated on the ground, but they were dark and vacant, showing that her mind what’s there. And in her hand was the tattered patch of a Grey Warden sigil. The wings of the griffons frayed and burned. Her thumb brushed over the cloth, smearing the ash and blood.

Cullen was at a loss of what to say or do. He diverted eyes trying to come up with something.

But it was Rayne’s voice that broke the silence. “It’s a strange thing.”

He looked back at her. She was now looking up, but eyes were the same. “What is?”

“I watched mages sacrifice each other and Templars, I watched Loghain flee from the field that resulted in a massacre of good men and women to monsters, and then those same monsters growing brains and kidnapping Wardens for experiments before killing them. And what do I do? I make their killer an ally.”

He frowned but didn’t say anything.

“And now, here I am.” She looked back down at the badge in her hand, her eyes now more focused. “Standing in another massacre. Of Wardens. And this time, instead of trying to save them, I was helping tighten the noose.”

“Rayne, we helped save a great deal of them. The mages under Corypheus’ control are no longer. The warriors fought at our side in the end. The Inquisitor spared as many as he could going in.” Cullen placed a hand on her arm. “You did help them.”

“And that’s the strange thing.” She finally turned to him with a face devoid of emotion. “When I try to help people, it makes them bleed.”

Rayne walked around him, and he didn’t stop her. He knew that anything he said right now, she wouldn’t listen. He watched her leave, his heart heavy in his chest as the Grey Warden badge slid from her fingers and fluttered to the ground.

 

* * *

 

She didn’t necessarily shut him out after they left Adamant. But neither did she seek him out or seem very welcoming.

Before Hawke left, he told Cullen to just give her a little space. She would come around on her own. And of course, Cullen knew that. It didn’t make the waiting any easier.

Rayne spent a lot of time amongst her fellow Wardens. The why was anyone’s guess. But whatever the reason she did finally start to come out of her melancholy on the journey back to Skyhold, which was a longer trip than it was heading out to the Approach due to their larger numbers traveling. Cullen wanted him and Rayne to travel ahead, to the safety of home. But he knew she needed this time.

By the time they reached the Dales and where Alec would be splitting off with his group to head to Emprise du Lion, Rayne was seven months along in her pregnancy. Yet another reason why Cullen wanted her back at Skyhold. He could tell that the riding was causing her pain with her rounded belly, even if she didn’t voice it. He could tell by the crease between her eyes, the constant shifting in her saddle and the cloudiness in her eyes by the end of the day.

But never once did she complain. And by that time she had gotten back to normal. At least for the most part. She was no longer self-loathing, or melancholy. But there was something that was bothering her, Cullen could tell. He just couldn’t tell what, and she remained tight lipped on the matter. But he felt that was more due to present company, at least he hoped it was and she would talk to him once at Skyhold.

It was the night before Alec, his group and a small platoon of soldiers would be leaving for the Lion, while the rest of the forces would go on to the Frostbacks with Cullen. A handful of Wardens volunteered to journey with the Inquisitor to help establish Inquisition bases there. Alec had originally been hesitant, believing that the Wardens should go to Skyhold first and recoup.

Rayne had convinced him to take them. They needed to prove that they weren’t a liability and could be of actual use to the Inquisition.

Cullen walked through the camp with a blanket thrown over his shoulder. Around him fires were being put out, leaving only a few for the sentries. His breathe came out in white plumes of vapor, the cold coming more and more. Winter was finally crawling into the south. And according to a runner from Leliana the day before, the Frostbacks had its first snowfall mere days before. Not a lot, but enough to coat the surrounding trees with white tops.

He prayed that they made it back to Skyhold before the next snow. The last thing he wanted was having his pregnant wife, who was only a few months from being due, caught in a snow storm. He had debated about telling Rayne to go on ahead, while he led the rest back himself. But he knew better than to even suggest that. For a woman who had said that she should start acting like a mother-to-be, she sure wasn’t.

He nodded to a soldier posted a short distance away from the tent that was erected for him and Rayne. Far enough away to give the couple privacy, should they require, but close enough to be of aid should the need arise.

Cullen stopped before entering the tent and tilted his head as he heard Rayne singing within. He gently lifted the flap and peered inside.

She lay on the raised cot. Inside the chill from the outside was gone, but wasn’t oppressive thanks to metal box with fire runes set in to radiate heat. It was a new invention by Dagna, it was sometimes finicky, but it worked. She had given a few to Alec for his trip to The Lion, knowing how cold it would be, and he in turn, had given one to Rayne for their journey.

Rayne had her shirt raised to her chest, unveiling her round belly that had dark stretch marks on the underside. She gently ran her hands over the mound singing a slow tempo song that was not familiar to him.

 

_Far over the Frostback Mountains rise_   
_Leave us standing upon the heights_   
_What was before, we see once more_   
_Our kingdom a distant light_

_Fiery mountain beneath the moon_   
_The words unspoken, we’ll be there soon_   
_For home a song that echoes on_   
_And all who find us will know the tune_

He pushed his way in and her eyes went up to him with a smile. “What are you doing?” He asked in amusement and he laid the extra blanket on the end of the cot.

“Singing.” She said in amusement. She looked down at her belly and fondly stroked it. “ _Vherain_ likes it.”

Cullen looked at her quizzically. “An interesting song. Don’t think I’ve heard it.”

Her smile got a little sad. “Oghren taught it to me.” She shook off the sadness and brightened. She raised a hand to him. “Come.”

He tilted his head but did as he was bid.

Rayne took his hand and led him to kneel on one knee on the floor beside her. “Here.” She said softly as she placed his hand on her belly.

“What are you…” He started.

She just smiled at him and held his hand there and began singing again. The song picking up tempo.

 

_Some folk we never forget_   
_Some kind we never forgive_   
_Haven’t seen the back of us yet_   
_We’ll fight as long as we live_   
_All eyes on the hidden door_   
_To the Lonely Mountain borne_   
_We’ll ride in the gathering storm_   
_Until we get our long-forgotten home_

_We lay under the Frostback Mountains cold_   
_In slumbers deep and dreams of gold_   
_We must awake, our lives to make_   
_And in the darkness a torch we hold_

Cullen continued to frown in confusion and was about to interrupt her, when he felt it.

His eyes widened as he felt the quick rise and fall of her belly beneath his hand. It was small, but had force behind it. The feeling of a small hand or foot pressing against the inside of the womb.

He fell to both knees and put his other hand next to the one already on her middle. “Maker…” He breathed out. It was the first time he had ever felt a baby kick.

**Our baby.** He said to himself with overwhelming emotion as she continued her song.

 

_From long ago when lanterns burned_   
_Till this day our hearts have yearned_   
_Her fate unknown_   
_What was stolen must be returned_

_We must awake and make the day_   
_To find a song for heart and soul_

_Some folk we never forget_   
_Some kind we never forgive_   
_Haven’t seen the end of it yet_   
_We’ll fight as long as we live_   
_All eyes on the hidden door_   
_To the Lonely Mountain borne_   
_We’ll ride in the gathering storm_   
_Until we get our long-forgotten gold_   
_Far away from Frostback Mountains cold._

By the time she was finished, the baby had been kicking incessantly. Almost as if it was dancing.

And Cullen’s eyes had been glistening with tears of pure joy feeling it.

“Cullen, are you alright?” Rayne asked.

He smiled and looked up at her. “I’m better than alright.” He moved up the cot until he was high enough to reach her face and kissed her. “I love you.” He said softly after he released her lips.

She smiled softly and brought a hand to his cheek. “ _Ar’lath ma, vheeraan’bae.”_

_“Vheeraan’bae?”_ He asked.

She chuckled and rubbed the pad of her thumb over his lip scar. “Papa lion.”

He smiled. “And what do we call you? _Vheeraan’mae?”_

“I am not a lion.” She said with a laugh.

Cullen hummed in thought as he stood and grabbed the blanket to lay over her. Once he was sure she was comfortable, he went to the other side of the cot, slipping out of his coat and hanging it on the armor rack where the rest was and tugged off his boots and socks, leaving the rest of his clothes on just in case.

Once he was under the blanket, Rayne rolled over to her side to be facing away from him and he grabbed a small pillow and helped place it between her legs to keep her relaxed before finally snuggling down into the fur and wrapping an arm around her and snuggling as close as possible.

“How about a wolf then?” He asked burying his face in her hair.

Her fingers danced across his arm. _“Fen’mae.”_ She said

“I rather like that.” He kissed the back of her head.

She chuckled. “I think I do to.” She paused and just ran her fingers over his skin as he gently ran his over her belly. “For a long time, I called Aiden _dharlin._ ”

“Which means?”

“Pup.”

“Why did you stop?”

She shrugged. “When he started picking up weaponry, I just changed it to little blade.”

“I think I like Pup better.”

Rayne shook her head and he could practically feel her smile as she leaned forward and ran her hand over the small orb that was acting as a lantern. The magic within dimmed until they were shrouded in darkness. “What is it with Fereldans and ‘Pup’?” She said in mild amusement.

“Well, we _are_ called the dog lords by everyone outside of Ferelden.” He said with a laughter lacing his words.

“And here I thought Fereldans were supposed to take that as an insult.” She said with a shake of her head and nestled back into the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that Rayne was singing was "Song of the Lonely Mountain" - by Neill Fin and Howard Shore from the movie "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey". I simply changed or removed a few words. When thinking of a good song, I thought of perhaps Oghren teaching her a song from Orzammar during their travels and this song is what came into my head.


	108. Amell

The sky was a dark and menacing grey, the fact that it hadn’t snowed yet was a blessing. And Rayne would take it. She was already cold; she didn’t want to be cold and wet too. Not with how she was already feeling. Cold, fatigued, and sore.

She sighed as they passed through the gates of Skyhold. Soldiers were already milling about unpacking brontos and mules hauling wagons full of supplies, unsaddling mounts and working on trying to find a place for the Wardens.

“Oh!”

A voice caught her attention. She scanned the crowd until she found the bright colors of yellow among the sea of dark green and black.

Josephine waved her hand trying to gain Rayne’s attention and began weaving her way through the crowd.

“Looks like you were missed.” Cullen said in amusement as he dismounted.

Elgar knelt, lying as flat to the ground as possible to make her dismount easier. “If she tries to hug me, ward her off. If that happens, I’m pretty sure she’s possessed by a demon.”

He laughed and handed his horse off to a recruit.

With a groan, Rayne swiveled around as best as she could to be sitting side-saddle. Cullen was quick to come to her aid to help lift her off. Usually she would tell him to not worry, but her body was too tired to let her.

“I’m so glad you all managed to get here before the storm.” Josephine said once she was in ear shot. She looked back and forth between Rayne and Cullen, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” Rayne said as Cullen helped her to stay steady on her feet. “But I think a hot bath would be welcome.”

Josephine brightened. “Luckily I thought you might, with the reports from Leliana’s people—“

Rayne frowned. “Leliana’s people?”

The Ambassador waved her hand in dismissal. “Never mind that. What matters is that I have a bath ready for you. All that needs done is the water needs to be warmed. I will take you, that way we can discuss some matters at hand.”

Rayne raised an eyebrow. “With… me?”

“Why not?” Cullen said as a runner came and handed him a scroll. “You’re an authority figure.”

She turned to him and gave him a pointed look, one that he didn’t see since he was nose deep in the scroll. “Last time I checked I was at the bottom of the pecking order.”

“It has to do with the Wardens.” Josephine chimed behind her. “That is your department, is it not?”

Rayne didn’t turn. Her eyes went to the group of Wardens that were aiding in whatever way they could. Her jaw clenched as the feeling of a rock in her gut formed. As if the baby felt her nervousness, they kicked either in annoyance or assurance.

“Rayne?” Cullen said with worry.

She gave him a reassuring smile. “Yes, of course.” She finally said turning back to Josephine before Cullen could see the anxiety in her eyes. “I guess that would be my department.”

Josie looked at her curiously a moment and then nodded. “Very well. Shall we?”

“I’ll come by soon.” Cullen said behind her. “Looks like I have some reports and help out a bit here first.”

Rayne tilted her head. “Are you okay?”

He looked up at her and gave her a tired smile, the dark circles under his eyes seemed darker then the day before. “I’m fine. I’m just glad to be back. And hopefully get a decent night’s sleep on a good bed will do both of us some good.”

She smiled and kissed his cheek. “Fair enough.” She turned to Josephine who had her eyes diverted to give them some semblance of privacy. It didn’t matter that they were surrounded by soldiers, a few stopping briefly to look their direction. “Let’s go. I’m ready to change out of this Warden gear.”

Josephine let her lead the way up the stairs, Cullen’s voice travelled over the courtyard giving orders. “Where would you like me to begin?” She asked.

“You know better than I, Ambassador.” Rayne replied while she began unbinding armguards, gritting her teeth against the pain in her lower back.

“Very well.” Josephine flipped through some papers on her board. “Let’s start with Adamant and what to do with it.”

She frowned. “Do with it? Why would that fall to us? Figure that would go to the Wardens at Weisshaupt or even the Emperor since it is in Orlais.”

“Gaspard relinquishes any claims on Adamant. As for Weisshaupt, they relinquished claim some years ago, wouldn’t you say?”

Rayne thought about that, and then shrugged. “Very well. My _personal_ feelings on it: destroy it. There is nothing there but darkness and a weak Veil. No one should reside there anymore.”

“Perhaps send a group to scavenge anything of use?” Josephine offered. “Then blasting powder to finish whatever is left?”

Rayne slapped her gloves in her hands thinking. “If you do send a scavenger team, I suggest taking a mage or two. To check any items. With the Veil so thin, who knows what kind of magic, spirits or otherwise –“ She stopped dead in her tracks. “Is that… a naked Qunari?”

Standing on either side of the entrance into the main hall was a towering Qunari. One female and one male. The male in a flexing pose, whereas the female was in a gentler, feminine, seductive pose but still was somehow just as imposing as the male. And both were very naked, but with long flowing hair that wrapped around their bodies to cover any indecencies.

Josephine sighed. “Yes, while you were gone the Inquisitor’s… order for the main hall came. We just managed to finish setting up all the décor the day before yesterday.”

“But… it’s a naked Qunari.”

“Trust me, I know. The Iron Bull helped procure it all from their Arishok.” Josie voice was annoyed. “Just wait until the inside.”

Rayne raised an eyebrow and went in, not knowing quite sure what to expect. And her jaw nearly fell when she took it all in as she walked through.

Standing at the walls were four more statues, two male, two female and in different poses. No less imposing or elegant as the ones at the door. At the end of the hall was a new throne. A stone monolith with a large red cloth draped over the back of the seat and two fierce some male Qunari on either side wielding polearms and thrusting them forward, pointing the golden points to the area where prisoners stood when standing judgment.

It was a menacing and intimidating sight. Rayne wondered if Alec knew just exactly what he was getting.

But the rest of the décor, she had to admit, it was kinda cozy. At least for a Fereldan and apparently Qunari. It was rustic, with dark rough wooden benches and red woven tapestries that matched the one on the throne. Drums made of wood with ropes draped around the base and white animal skin stretched over were placed in strategic places around the hall as decoration.

She shook her head and began walking through. “Could have been worse, I suppose.”

Josephine scoffed. “As you pointed out, we have naked Qunari all over the place, and those that aren’t look like they’re about to impale people below them. How could this be worse?”

“The attacking Qunari could be naked too.” She quipped.

Josephine simply shook her head.

“Are we going to your rooms or…?”

“Yours.”

“The one that is under construction?” Rayne asked.

Josephine just smiled and looked back at her board. “Oh, I thought you may want to know, we located Mayor Dedrick of Crestwood.”

She roamed through her memories. “Oh! The one that drowned half his town to stop the Blight from spreading.”

“You say that so nonchalant.” Josie said dryly.

“Just stating the facts.” She said with a shrug. “Why bring that up to me?”

“He is Ferelden born. He was trying to stem the blight infection from spreading.” Josie listed off. “I think that you would be sympathetic. Since you fought during the Blight, saw what the infection does.”

Rayne sighed and rubbed the back of her neck as they reached the door to her and Cullen’s room. “In the end, it’s not up to me. But… you could offer the suggestion to the Inquisitor to have him join the Grey Wardens. They are our allies now and they may be willing to take some into their ranks. They… need to replenish their numbers.”

Josephine nodded as she scratched down notes. “I will discuss it with the leading Warden before bringing it up to the Inquisitor. I assume they have someone as acting spokesperson for the Wardens, at least?”

“Your guess is as good as mine, Ambassador.” She opened the door and looked at the stairs. She sighed. “Lovely, more stairs.” She said dryly. “Well, could be worse. Could be a ladder.” The thought of trying to find a way of climbing the ladder into Cullen’s loft made her wince.

Josie just smiled as if she knew that Rayne was thinking.

“Anything else?” She asked and started up the stairs.

“We received a report from Val Gamord’s _Marquise_ , the town was overrun by darkspawn.”

“Talk to Cullen about that. He’s still Commander of our forces. And that now includes Wardens.”

“Very well.”

Rayne pushed open the door to her office, bracing for the noise from construction. But there was nothing.

Inside was quiet; the white cloth she had draped over her furniture before leaving was gone. Things were dusted, and swept.

She looked back as Josephine. “Uh…”

The Ambassador just beamed a smile and ushered her forward. “Go on. Take a look.”

With a raise eyebrow she turned and hesitantly headed to the opened door to the bedroom. Rayne poked her head in.

The curtains to the window were drawn open, revealing that the snow that had been threatening to fall was starting to slowly drift down to them now. Just like her office, it was clean and seemed untouched.

At least until she turned to the wall closest to the fireplace. Where once her painting was it was now gone, knocked down and replaced by a heavy dark cherry wood door with delicate flowers and vines carved into the edges.

Rayne ran her fingers along the vines, tracing the pattern as she looked over the door. The way it matched its surroundings, it was like it had always been there. She gently turned the knob, it made a soft click, and she pushed it open. She smiled as it made no noise on well-oiled dwarven hinges. She stepped inside the room and gasped.

The room was big enough for child and had a soft burgundy carpet. A window was at the far end, curtains drawn open. Small torches were welded into the walls around the room and pressed against one wall was a medium sized dresser was a candelabrum with fresh candles ready for use.

With a wave of her hand the torches burst into light, illuminating the room so she could finally see since there wasn’t any natural light coming through the window.

At the wall opposite the window was a crib that looked to be made of the same dark wood as the door and dresser. At the end of the crib was a matching chest on the floor.

Rayne went to the crib, her eyes on something that looked like a small chandelier of small crystals of various shades of blue; going from one so light in color it was practically clear, to one that was so dark it looked like a sapphire. She ran her fingers over the crystals, causing them to make a soft tinkle as they softly tapped together.

“A gift from Solas.” Josephine explained behind her. “He said it would make a beautiful display of color when light hits it.”

She smiled. “Of course.” Her eyes went to the crib itself, to the back that wasn’t slotted. A burning of a proud male lion lying with a wolf, a paw thrown over the wolf’s body in protection and care. A wolf pup sat nearby watching a lion cub play, chasing what looked like to be a butterfly. “And this?” She asked, running her fingers over the lion and the wolf.

“Dorian, if you believe it.” Josie said in amusement.

Rayne chuckled. “He actually got his head dirty?”

“He used magic to make the burnings. The crib itself was made was a gift from the Inquisitor, delivered from Denerim.”

She shook her head in amusement as she looked around the room. “Surrounded by those that will care and protect them.”

“We left the walls bare; we thought you would like to decorate them yourselves.”

Rayne turned and smiled. “Thank you, Josephine. You and everyone else. This is perfect. But how did you finish it so quickly?”

Josie laughed. “Some of the top dwaven engineers, constructors and a few mages can make a world of difference. Oh!” She spun around and went to one of the walls, which Rayne now noticed had a rune set into it. “A gift from Dagna. Instead of a fireplace, she put in these runes to help keep the room warm.”

“Oh, like her boxes that she sent with Alec?”

The Ambassador nodded. “Exactly.”

“Rayne?” Cullen’s voice carried from the other room.

“In here.” She called back as she continued to run her fingers over the burning.

She heard Cullen come into the room. There was a pause, “It’s… finished?”

“It is.” Josie said in a voice filled with delight.

His steps were muted on the plush carpet, but she could feel his approach. He came up right behind her and put a hand around her waist, his other ran across the top of the crib. “It’s beautiful.”

“What do you think of our family portrait?” Rayne asked.

He chuckled lightly. “Seems accurate.” He released his hold and went to the chest on the floor and knelt. He lifted the lid, it was empty inside. “We’ll have to think about toys.”

“With everything else, I had forgotten about that.”

He smiled up at her. “We still have a bit of time.”

She was about the respond, but the sound of a loud, moist _thunk_ followed by what sounded like a frightened animal outside the window cause her and Josephine to jump in surprise.

Cullen was immediately back on his feet, his face set hard, he went to the window.

Rayne was right behind him as he threw it open. They looked down, “Is that… a… animal?”

“What’s left of one.” He mumbled. He pointed to a spot on the wall. “Fresh blood.”

She frowned. “Wait… someone is catapulting _animals_ at us?”

Their answer was the sight of – what they assumed – was an animal, hurdling towards them.

“Get down!” Cullen yelled and pulled her to him and yanked them both inside.

Rayne cried out in surprise as she heard the poor animal hit the stone wall. “I think that was a goat!”

He held onto her, and Josephine had the good sense to duck into the next room and poked her head around the corner.

“A goat?” The Ambassador asked in bewilderment.

“Stay. Here.” Cullen growled into her ear. He let go of her and went back to the window. “I think she’s right. Exploded on impact goat.”

“We’re… being attack by flying goats.” She paused. “In all honesty, I’m surprised something like this didn’t happen sooner.”

He turned and gave her a pointed look before shaking his head. He quickly shut the windows again and marched to the door. “Stay away from the windows, I’ll take some men to investigate.”

“Cullen.” She called. He turned, “be careful?”

His face softened and he nodded. “I’ll be back soon.”

Rayne and Josephine watched him go.

“So…” Josie said to break the silence. “Flying goats.”

She couldn’t help herself, she laughed. “Funny enough, it’s not the craziest thing we’ve seen since all this started.”

* * *

 

She was looking over reports, freshly scrubbed clean and in fresh loose fitting – and very comfortable – clothes when he finally returned. Rayne raised her gaze from the papers in her hands when he came in rubbing the back of his neck, a look that was a mixture of amusement and confusion on his face.

“So, find out flying goat menace?” She asked in amusement.

He paused and placed his hands on his hips. He shook his head and looked at her. “I found an Avvar that was… catapulting goats at our walls.”

“An Avvar?” She asked in confusion.

“He was waiting for us to arrive and willing to stand before the Inquisitor.” Cullen rubbed his head and chuckled. “Things just keep getting stranger and stranger.”

“Well, at least we’re never bored.” She said with a laugh.


	109. Amell

It was another month before Alec returned back to Skyhold, but they had received messages from him. Cullen had gotten reports about the red lyrium mining operation that Samson had ordered. What was being done… was monstrous. Taking villagers from Sarnia and infecting them with the red, and then mining it from them before it ultimately killed them. Alec had luckily put an end to it, and sent Sarnia’s _Marquise_ to Skyhold for justice, since she had been a willing participant; selling her townsfolk for coin.

With this new information acquired from Sarnia’s mines, Cullen was able to finally find Samson’s base of operations. He was only waiting for Alec to return.

And with his return came the first real snow storm. His group looked half frozen by the time they made it up the mountain. The relief on them was palpable when they entered the main hall that was warm and toasty.

When Alec had gotten Cullen’s report and Samson’s possible whereabouts he wanted nothing more than to head out as soon as possible. But, despite his own desire, Cullen convinced him to rest a few days at least. They had to at least wait for the storm to pass in order to make a safe journey down the mountain.

The storm lasted three days, and when it was done Skyhold had transformed from a military stronghold to a winter palace. Everything was covered in fresh white powder and icicles hung from the roofs.

Rayne stood outside, wrapped in her thick winter fur coat, her breath visible in the cold air, as she watched Sera ducking around snowbanks that had been made from clearing a walkway through the courtyards. The rogue giggled like a mad fool as she continued to scoop up snowballs and throwing them at Blackwall, who had initially tried ignoring her, but finally gave into her game and was now on the offensive.

Rayne shook her head with a smile of amusement on her face as she continued down the path to where a group of Wardens were gathered.

“Lieutenant.” She raised a hand. “Or do you prefer Senior Warden?”

A man that was maybe ten years older than herself with a full red beard that looked like it needed a good brushing and a head that was partially balding smiled her direction. He said a few words to the Ensigns with him before leaving to join her.

“Senior Warden would probably be best, Warden-Commander.” His voice a deep timber. He reminded her of a big red bear. “That way as not to be confused with the Inquisition ranking officers.”

She smiled and nodded. “Very well. But here, I am a Captain. Nothing more. I was told you wished to see me.”

He grunted. “Aye, your Lady Ambassador came to us about possibilities of recruits. From the Inquisition prisoners.”

“Yes, I made the suggestion. A possible sentence.” She cleared her throat. “I know you need recruits. But the choice is ultimately yours, Senior Warden.”

He tilted his head to her. “ _Our_ choice. Whether you are a Captain in the Inquisition, you _are_ the highest ranking Warden here. We ultimately differ to you, _serah.”_

She wrinkled her nose. “Ugh, please don’t call me that. And no, you will be the advocate for the Wardens here.”

He frowned. “But—“

Rayne held up a hand to stop him. “I have enough to deal with. I need someone else to handle the Wardens.”

The Senior Warden studied her and then finally nodded. “Very well… Captain.”

“For once, Solas, you and I are in agreement.”

Rayne frowned and turned.

Vivienne and Solas were not too far away, and Rayne figured it was intentional considering their choice of topic.

“A wasteful relic of a bygone age. A group full of low-life thugs. Conscripting innocents in the name of “vigilance against the Blight.’” Vivienne continued. “For a threat that recent history tells us can be successfully ended by just two.”

The Senior Warden bristled and he shot them a dark glare, but otherwise held his tongue.

Rayne twisted her neck until she felt and heard it pop before turning fully to them.

Solas nodded in agreement. “I cannot believe the Grey Warden could even conceive of such a plan. To seek out the Old God deliberately in some bizarre attempt to preempt the Blight… The entire idea is wrong. The Blight is not something one smugly outsmarts.”

Before she was even aware of what she was doing, Rayne had apparently found a way of grabbing Solas by his shirt and throwing him into the nearest wall. Vivienne screeched in surprise and fright as she pressed a hand to Solas’ throat, her anger – no doubt currently enhanced by her pregnant hormones – flaring to a point where it felt like her blood was boiling.

Solas’ eyes were wide with shock as he tried in vain to pull her fingers off of his windpipe.

“What do you know of it, _elf?”_   Her voice was low and controlled, sharp as a knife. “How many lives were lost during the last Blight? You think since you saw some vision in the Fade that you _know_ _anything about it._ ” She brought her face close; she felt her nails dig into flesh. “Do you _know_ how many have been lost in any of them? The lands forever scarred?”

Of course he didn’t answer, except for a croak.

“I’ve seen them. The faces of all those lost to those monsters. Do you know a Wardens sacrifice?” She slammed his head against the stone. “ _Do you!”_

“Rayne!” A cut through her haze.

She growled low in her throat and lowered her head. But she didn’t release him. Tears of frustration pressed into her eyes. **They will never understand.** She thought bitterly.

“Rayne.” The voice said closer, more calm. “Let him go, Rayne.”

“Look at her, going savage.” Vivienne said.

“ _Shut. Up,_ Vivienne.” The voice, which she now recognized as Alec’s. “Rayne… whatever he did… or more than likely said, it’s not worth this.”

Rayne’s lip curled and she lifted her eyes back up. “You have no idea the darkspawn threat that the _wasteful relics of a bygone age_ keep at bay. That allow people like _you_ to dismiss us, criticize us, _damn_ us behind our backs.” She finally she released her hold. Solas barely caught himself from falling.

“ _You know nothing._ You are welcome to your opinion, but if you ever voice it within earshot of me again,” her voice now calm again. “I will cut out your tongue.” She turned side-faced to Vivienne. “That goes for anyone else too.”

The Enchanter visibly paled. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Would you like to test that theory?” Rayne gasped as a small contraction hit her, causing her to double over, holding onto her belly.

“Rayne!” Alec was immediately at her side and holding her. “Are you alright?”

She let the pain fade and took a deep steadying breath before righting herself. “I’m fine.” She said softly. “I’m going to my room.”

Solas took a small step towards her. “I should look—“

“Don’t. Touch. Me.” She growled.

He immediately backed up under her glare.

Alec put a hand on her arm. “Come on. Let’s get you laid down.”

Rayne closed her eyes and sighed, trying to relax. “I’ll be fine on my own.”

“But…”

She looked at him and gave him a reassuring smile. “I’ll be fine.” She patted him on the shoulder and began her cold trek up the stairs.


	110. Cullen/Mysterious Traveler

As soon as Alec came to him and told him of the altercation in the courtyard between Rayne and Solas, he was on the move. His first thought was getting to her, but he kept himself from rushing to her side. He needed information. He needed to know what happened exactly. Alec didn’t know for sure, after Rayne had walked away no one was willing to talk about it.

But Cullen _would_ get answers. And what better place to start, than with the Wardens that had been with Rayne when it happened, Alec had neglected to ask them. And they were more than willing to tell him and the Inquisitor what transpired. And they both had been infuriated by it.

Alec went off to talk with Solas and Vivienne about their behavior after, and Cullen went to Rayne. And apparently he wasn’t the only one worried about whatever state she was in.

Varric stood outside the office door. His arms crossed over his chest, tapping his foot in annoyance. “About time you showed up, Curly.”

“I was getting information, Varric. What are _you_ doing?”

“I was attempting to talk to her… and was rewarded with a fireball in my direction.”

Cullen shook his head. “Well, obviously she wasn’t trying to hurt you. I’ll talk to her. I already talked to the Inquisitor and we found out what happened. If you want specifics, which I’m sure you do, speak to him. No doubt he could use some support.”

Varric huffed. “I’ll let you do your thing then.” He patted Cullen’s arm as he walked by. “Good luck, Curly. Fair warning though: I heard at least one thing break in there.”

Cullen frowned as he watched the dwarf leave. He turned back to the door and braced himself for whatever may come his way.

He gently pushed open the door and poked his head in to search the room. Rayne wasn’t there, but the door to the bedroom was open. He didn’t know whether it was a good thing or not that it was quiet.

He continuously scanned the area as he went through, like a man afraid he was about to step on a bear trap.

When he looked inside his eyes widened, “Rayne!” He exclaimed taking in the sight of her and the room.

Shards of painted glass littered the floor around the table near the dresser. They had recently received a gift from some Orlesian noble, a well wishes for their future together as man and wife and for their soon-to-be-child. It was a glass statue of what looked like some kind of fish in motley of colors. It was an eye sore, and they had been trying to get rid of it. Guess they didn’t have to worry about that now.

Drops of blood led to the bed where Rayne sat holding her hand in a towel, simply allowing the cloth to soak up the blood dripping from it where it was badly cut and at least one rather large shard of glass protruded between the knuckles of her index and middle finger.

“Maker, Rayne.” Cullen rushed to her side. “What did you _do?”_

She shook her head. “Was it really so terrible?” She said in a husky voice, raw from grief.

As gently as he could, he took her hand. “I know we hated that statue, but I wouldn’t—“

She looked up at him, dried trails of tears ran down her cheeks, her eyes were red and puffy, and were trying to hold back more tears. “Were their intentions really so terrible?”

“Whose?” He asked in confusion as he looked at the damage to her hand. There were at least two large shards of glass lodged in her hand and cuts of varying size and depth split over her hand. Maker only knew how many small shards were under all the blood.

“The Wardens.” Rayne shook her head. “I know their… methods left something to be desired. But was their goal really so terrible? To hunt down the Old Gods.”

“You decided to mutilate your hand because of Vivienne and Solas?” He left her side to find another towel or some kind of cloth in order to get a better grip on the shards in her hand.

“It was either the statue or Solas’ face. And I figured I was less likely to cause problems with the statue.”

“Tell that to your hand.” He grumbled. Finally finding a clean cloth and bowel, which he filled with water, he went back to her. He sighed as he took her hand trying to decide where to start. “As to the Wardens…” He paused and said softly. “No, it wasn’t.” He grabbed one of the larger shards and began pulling it out with a sickening moist suck.

Rayne flinched but otherwise held still. “Everyone else seems to think so.”

“Vivienne and Solas are everyone now?” He grimaced as he finally pulled out the shard of glass, dropping it into the bowl and trying to keep blood from dripping onto the floor.

“May as well be.” She whispered. “They’re not the only ones that think that Wardens are… a relic.”

Cullen studied her face, wanting nothing more than to hold her. “Rayne… the people just don’t know how important Wardens are.”

She smiled bitterly. “You will guard them and they will hate you for it. Whenever there is not a Blight actively crawling over the surface, humanity will do its best to forget how much they need you. And that's good. We need to stand apart from them, even if they have to push us away to make us do it. That is the only way we can ever make the hard decisions.”

He frowned. “What?”

Rayne shook her head.

“Well, regardless. Sounds about right.”

“Yeah.” She whispered.

Cullen turned his attention back to her hand and took hold of the next shard. “Why is this bothering you so much?”

“Why _wouldn’t_ it bother me?” She hissed as he pulled out the shard.

“Are there anymore under all this?” He asked.

She shook her head.

He watched as the gashes in her hand began to mend themselves together. Cullen couldn’t help but be fascinated at healing magic. To watch as muscle, sinew, bone and skin stitched back together. Once it was finished, he dipped another rag into the water and began to wash away the blood.

“Rayne… it’s not as if their feelings are… new to you. You just said as much.”

She diverted her eyes.

“So, why is it bothering you _now?”_

Rayne pulled her hand away and took the rag from him. She stood – with some struggle – and went to the window. “I don’t know?” She said sarcastically. “Maybe because I just helped—“

“No.” He abruptly interrupted and stood. “Don’t use that excuse, because I know that’s not the truth.”

She tossed the bloodied rag into the laundry, still avoiding him. “Oh?”

“You’ve been like this since Adamant.” Cullen took her now fully healed hands and turned her to him. “It has nothing to do with what happened to them. You came to terms with that, what needed to be done. This is different. And it’s something you are trying to keep from me for some reason.”

She still resisted looking at him.

He sighed and released her hands to run his hand through his hair, noting that he was going to need a cut soon. “Rayne, I can’t help if you won’t talk to me.”

Rayne picked at her nails. “I couldn’t feel them.” She whispered so low that he had to strain to hear.

He frowned in confusion. “Feel? What are you—Rayne!” He saw her knees buckle before her gasp of pain just in time to catch her from collapsing. He gritted his teeth trying not to squeeze her too hard, but wanting to keep her up.

With a grunt he bent and lifted her legs and cradled her in his arms.

“This isn’t necessary.” She said through gritted teeth.

Cullen ignored her and rushed her to the bed. He gently laid her down, “This stress isn’t good for you, or the baby.”

“Our lives are nothing but stress.” Rayne said with an exhale and grimace.

“I’m going to get a healer.” He turned to leave.

She grabbed his hand. “No, it’s fine.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose. She smiled weakly and looked back at him. “Just means I’m getting closer.”

Cullen sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand. “Are you sure?”

She waved away his concern. “Positive. This isn’t my first dance.” She said lightly.

He took her hand and rubbed her cheek with the other. “I’ll believe you, for now. But I want to know what’s bothering you. Who couldn’t you feel?”

Rayne licked her lips and worried at her lower lip. “The Wardens.”

“I don’t understand.”

She rubbed her head as if fighting off a headache. “I mean just that. I couldn’t _feel_ them.”

“You can feel Wardens?” He asked skeptically.

She lifted herself to sit up more. “As you know, Wardens can sense darkspawn. It’s what makes them so useful in fighting darkspawn.”

Cullen frowned, but held his peace.

“And, as you now know, the reason they can sense darkspawn is because of the taint that runs through them both.”

“A Warden can sense darkspawn because of the taint, so they can sense other Wardens because of that too.” He finished.

Rayne nodded. “Right.”

“And… you’re telling me that you couldn’t feel them?”

“I still can’t. And…” She paused. “I can’t hear the song.”

“The song? As in The Calling?”

She bobbed her head back and forth while squinting her eyes in thought. “Eh, sort of. Wardens always hear the whispers – the song – of the Old Gods, just over time it intensifies into The Calling. Or during a Blight… or a false Calling apparently.”

Cullen recalled she told him that months back. “And you’re saying you no longer hear it? At all?”

She lowered her eyes and shook her head.

“How long?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. For years I’ve pushed back the whispers to a point where I could ignore them. I know I could after what happened in Tevinter. But after that…” She shrugged.

“Rayne… does that mean… you’ve been cured of the taint?” He asked in bewilderment.

She nodded her head heavily.

There had been only one other recorded Grey Warden being cured, and that was Grand Enchanter Fiona. To this day, no one knew what caused it. But any attempts to reinitiate her into the Order were in vain. In the end she was forced to leave the Wardens and was sent back to the Circle.

Inside Cullen was over-joyed by this. The woman he loved, his wife, would no longer die early in age and be forced to travel to the Deep Roads to die. She would no longer suffer the whispers – or the song as she put it – any longer, or go through the change that would inevitably send her on her Calling. She would grow old with him, watch their child and Aiden grow into adulthood and have families of their own – Maker willing. Without her being blighted, they had more chances of growing their family more if they wished.

Yet, here was Rayne. Hanging her head in pain that she now had to accept it as true. And that was confusing to him.

“Rayne, why aren’t you happy about this?”

She ran a hand roughly through her hair to the point where it looked rather painful to him. “I _should_ be but…” She groaned. “For years I’ve been trying to find a cure. And here I am, taint free, and I don’t even know how it happened!”

He raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been looking?”

“All the work I do on the map, missives from all over? That’s me tracking leads with help from contacts.”

And that’s when Cullen realized where all the anger and sadness was coming from. “You feel guilty.”

It wasn’t a question, but she nodded anyway.

“Rayne,” He shifted in order to sit closer to her and took both her hands in his. “You shouldn’t feel guilty about this. You can still search. Being untainted doesn’t mean you have to stop helping people, Warden or not.”

She seemed to mull over his words. “I suppose.” She muttered. “Cullen, I’m not a Warden anymore.” She said weakly.

**She feels lost.** He thought to himself. As much as being a Warden had seemed a burden it gave her purpose, it saved her from a fate worse than death and freed her. He gave her a smile and rubbed the pad of his thumb against her hand. “That’s not just a bad thing anymore, is it?”

Rayne chuckled softly. “No. I guess not. I just… I feel like I’ve betrayed them.”

“You haven’t betrayed anyone. You don’t even know how it happened. Think of it this way: you are now your biggest lead into finding the cure.”

Her eyes brightened and cupped his cheek and ran her fingers over the stubble he knew was there. “Silver lining.”

Cullen kissed the palm of her hand.

“Now, what’s wrong with you?” She asked with a lopsided smile. “Something else is on your mind.”

“You read me so well.” He said with amusement. “It’s nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“It’s just… we located Samson’s base.”

“This I know.” Rayne gave him an amused smile. “And you want to go, yes? So, what’s the problem?”

He put a hand on her belly. “With you so close and… the stress, I should be here.”

“You should be with Alec against Samson.”

“You’re more important than that.”

Her face softened. “And, as much as I appreciate that thought and love, you _need_ this. You need to help finish this.”

“But…”

She pressed a finger to his lips to hush him. “I still have time. I’ll still be pregnant when you get back.”

Cullen pressed his cheek into her hand, **Maker I’m a lucky man.**

* * *

* * *

 

He shivered against the cold wind as he walked across the bridge to his destination. **Who thought it was a great idea to build a fortress in the middle of the mountains?** He thought to himself, not for the first time. **Only fanatics would trudge through all this to see this supposed _Herald_**.

And yet, here he was, fighting against terrain, ice and snow to get to Skyhold. Of course the stories about him had him pegged as a fanatic. Just not one for  _The Herald of Andraste_.

Despite his mood cause from his travel, he did have to admit, Skyhold was impressive. And it would be needed if the stories he heard about Corypheus were true.

That name still made him shudder. He remembered that ancient Magister all too well.

As the gate grew closer he shifted his pack, adjusted his hood to better hide his face and leaned more on his staff – both from the fatigue and hoping that he looked like a decrepit hermit that had come as one of many of the faithful. His appearance helped that façade, with his long poorly kempt beard that poked out from under the hood and scraggly, dirty hair that he couldn’t help but still keep cut to shoulder length; he knew he looked like he belonged in a cave.

It probably also helped that he actually _had_ been living out of caves for the past few years. And would still no doubt be there had he not heard the news of the Inquisition. Not for the first time did he question his sanity about heading into the heart of the Order that would no doubt take his head if they ever saw his face. But he had to know if the rumors were true. He had to know who walked with _Inquisitor_ Trevelyan.

The guards at the front gate watched the small procession of people he had been traveling the last trek of his journey with. He hoped that traveling in numbers would make him less likely to stand out.

He had barely made it through the portcullis, nearly home safe…

“You, there!” One guard called.

He ignored the call, playing off that the guard was calling someone else. But the moment he felt a hand on his upper arm, he knew he couldn’t keep ignoring the guard. He silently cursed his luck, because he also felt that the guard was a Templar, and no doubt the Templar sensed he was a mage. And that was why he was singled out of the group.

“Mage.” The Templar said, not unkindly. “Are you one of Grand Enchanter Fiona’s group?”

**Grand Enchanter Fiona?** He thought in confusion. **The Rebel Mages joined the Inquisition?** Maybe the Inquisition wasn’t as bad as he thought? Granted they still had Templars in their ranks. But what did he expect?

Unfortunately his hesitancy was answer enough for the Templar. “Before you go any further, remove your hood.”

“And if I refuse?” He asked his voice raspy.

“Then you will have to leave.”

“And if I refuse to do that?”

The Templar frowned. “Then you will be placed in the Cells until the Inquisitor returns.”

“The Inquisitor is gone?”

The Templar’s eyes narrowed in suspension.

“Is there something wrong here?” A new voice cut in with a thick Orlesian accent. And one that sounded vaguely familiar.

“Sister Nightingale.” The Templar said, turning to a woman is leathers and purple cowl with red hair poking out from underneath.

He narrowed his brown eyes studying this woman. She looked so familiar, but he couldn’t place her face.

Sister Nightingale eyed him up and down with her piercing blue eyes. He did his best to keep his face hidden. “What seems to be the problem?”

The Templar looked at him. “I asked this mage to remove his hood, since he’s not one of Fiona’s and well…”

The Sister came closer to him. “Do you have a name?”

He held his tongue.

Her eyes sharpened into tiny daggers. “Remove your hood.”

“Why?”

“Because we have had far too many assassination attempts against the Inquisitor. Now, you can remove your hood or be taken into _my_ custody where I won’t be gentle in extracting information.”

With a sigh of defeat he brought his hands up to his hood and threw it back to finally reveal his face.

The Sister tilted her head back and forth. Apparently he wasn’t the only one who recognized an old face.

Before she could say a word another voice broke in, one that he knew all too well, that was in a mixture of shock and anger. “Blondie?”

Anders turned to find a familiar dwarf across the courtyard. “Varric.”


	111. Amell

“You really don’t need to…” She groaned in a mix of pain and pleasure as she melted more into the bed.

Blackwall chuckled as he dug his thumbs hard into the middle of her foot. She heard the faint snap and crack of bones popping as he massaged away the ache that had been there most of the day. “Commander Cullen tasked me with looking over you.”

“Not just you, Hero.” Varric said over by the window with Bianca lying in his lap.

“And call it a wild hunch,” Rayne said with a drowsy voice. “When Cullen asked you to watch over me while he’s gone, it didn’t include foot massages.” She looked at Varric. “You shouldn’t be so nervous, ya’know?”

The dwarf snorted. “With Explosive Blondie here?”

“So… you feel the need to be my protector? Alrighty.” Her eyes narrowed at Blackwall. “Wait… is that the real reason for this massage?”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said but diverted his gaze.

“Oh!” She kicked out of his hands and sat up. “The both of you.” She grumbled and glared. “And where is Bull?”

Blackwall cleared his throat. “Standing guard outside the cells.”

Rayne rolled her eyes and shooed him off the end of her bed so she could turn. “You know, I’m starting to regret having you guys stay here.”

Cullen had refused to leave with Alec after Samson unless someone stayed behind to watch over her. Initially he wanted only a small group to go with them and leave the rest at Skyhold. Rayne refused; they would need all the magic and muscle they could against Samson and whatever else he had there. They finally agreed on three to be left behind.

Of course Solas had offered. It was logical: if something happened to her or baby he was going to be needed. But as much as it made sense, Rayne didn’t want him anywhere near her, the further away he was the better. Same went with Vivienne.

So in the end, The Iron Bull, Blackwall and Varric stayed behind with her. Cullen hadn’t been completely happy with that arrangement, but he relented. Granted that was before Anders arrived and started demanding to see her. And Rayne made sure that he wouldn’t find out until they all got back.

Rayne batted away Blackwall’s hands as he attempted to help her stand up. “Stop it.” She stretched out her lower back and went to the window. “It took a magical potion for Anders to be able to blow up the Chantry in Kirkwall. Here he is locked away in the cells, under not one but _four_ Templar guards and two mages putting in runes and watching Justice… or Vengeance… whatever.”

“So, you gonna see him?” Varric asked.

“I don’t know.” She said softly. “Part of me wants to.”

She could still recall the young man Anders was before allowing himself to be possessed by a spirit. He was charming, sweet, always seemed to have a smile on his face and had a big heart. But Rayne had known that the smile had been a mask for hidden pain that he would brush off as a joke, and it was ultimately his big heart that led to him giving Justice permission to possess him.

After the Kirkwall Chantry was destroyed and all hell broke loose on the streets, Rayne had held a lot of guilt over that. She felt guilt over the man that was lost to Vengeance and all the lives lost because of it. Maybe if she hadn’t conscripted Anders he may have never met Justice and all this could have been prevented.

But then Anders no doubt would have been killed by a vengeful Templar who accused Anders of killing his Templar guards that had been with him at Vigil’s Keep when the darkspawn attacked. Anders always swore that it was the darkspawn that killed them, and Rayne had believed him. Which was why she conscripted him to keep him out of the clutches of misguided Templar justice.

Or perhaps if she had tried harder to find a way to get Justice back to the Fade after he had been involuntarily ripped from it by a demon of Pride, instead of using him as an ally. But he had skills useful to their mission; he had wanted to help – to seek justice for the Grey Warden whose dead body he ended up possessing.

At the time Rayne couldn’t find fault with that, and she kept a close eye on him to make sure he never got out of control. After all, Wynne had been possessed by a Spirit of Faith and had been fine. And other than wanting to kill Rayne after she agreed to work with the Architect, everything was fine.

But then the corpse he had inhabited was failing. And Anders, with his big, big stupid heart, had offered himself until they could find another solution. Despite his kind nature, his anger for Templars was too great and corrupted Justice, turning it to Vengeance.

A kernel of that guilt still remained. Another choice that led to a dark end. It was because of that guilt that she wanted to go see him. To look him in the eye, to see if there was anything left of the man she once knew.

“Well, if my opinion counts for anything, I don’t think you should.” Varric chimed in bringing her back from her thoughts.

Rayne smirked. “Your opinion is noted.” She turned back to them and attempted to cross her arms over her chest. She grimaced at her sensitive breasts and lowered them to simply allow her to fold her hands over her belly. “In truth, I’m surprised.”

Varric snorted. “Me too. You would think he would want to avoid people that might take his head.”

“Well, yeah, that too. But I’m more surprised he has the frame of mind to even come here.”

Blackwall frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Between Justice and the false Calling I’m surprised he can have a coherent thought.” She inwardly twinged at the thought of the Calling and the fact that she no longer heard the song.

She had heard it for so long that it felt almost… lonely without it. She wondered when Blackwall was going to notice that he couldn’t feel her. **Probably not until we defeat Corypheus**. She thought. Both she and Cullen decided to keep that information to themselves for now. Everyone had enough to deal with.

Varric shrugged. “Maybe he can’t hear The Calling with Justice?”

“Or maybe he no longer has Justice?” Blackwall offered.

Rayne frowned. “I doubt that.” She tapped her belly with her fingers which rewarded her with a kick in response from within.

“What do you think the Inquisitor is going to do with him?” Blackwall asked.

“A lot of people want Blondie’s head on a spike for what happened. Especially those in Kirkwall.” Varric said and glared out the window. “Can’t say I blame them.”

She smirked. “No love for your old friend, Varric?”

“ _My_ old friend? Don’t you mean _our_ old friend?”

Her smile fell. “I lost Anders the day I left Vigil’s Keep.”


	112. Anders

He wrapped his blanket tighter around him as he shivered and buried his face against the wind that blew through the gaping hole only a few feet away from him. There were plenty of cells vacant in the main part of the prison, but someone thought it would be better to put him in what they dubbed the Sky Cells.

**Her decision, no doubt.** A hollow voice said in his head.

“She wouldn’t be so childish.” Anders hissed low.

Justice chuckled. **No? We did try to kill her after all.**

“That wasn’t how it was supposed to be!” He snapped.

“Who are you talking to, mage?” A Templar guard snapped.

“No one.” Anders grumbled.

Which was true. He knew he wasn’t actually talking to Justice. He had never been able to have a conversation with the Spirit after they were joined. But over the years of isolation and increasing paranoia, his mind had given voice to Justice to be his companion. Anders didn’t know whether or not he was crazy since he understood the voice in his head for what it was.

“Then keep it down.” The Templar groused.

Anders shot daggers in the Templar’s direction, silently cursing him and the other Templars and mages guarding him. His own fellow mage, acting as a jailor to him now.

**Ungrateful.** The voice of Justice said. **You helped free them.**

He frowned bitterly and looked to the shadowed corner allowing himself to be lost in his own dark thoughts. He should never have come here. Why did he come here?

**_I demand to see the Hero of Ferelden!_** He yelled as Templars grabbed him once Varric identified him as the mage that blew up the Kirkwall Chantry.

The dwarf didn’t label him as so. All Sister Nightingale needed to hear was the name ‘Blondie’ and her eyes had widened, immediately calling for his arrest. He considered himself lucky on that regard. With the amount of anger in her eyes when she realized who he was, he half expected her to knife him right there.

It’s no less than he deserved. He had expected and welcomed it after his attack. Anders thought Hawke would kill him right then and there. But instead he passed that judgment onto King Alistair, Rayne’s former lover and mother of his son.

Anders had felt that was just. After all, he had just killed her. He may not have been aware she was inside when he set off his magical attack, but that didn’t matter. He had killed one of the few people that cared about him. It didn’t matter that after what happened at Vigil’s Keep she didn’t want anything to do with him. Only begrudgingly working with him for Hawke’s sake.

At least so he thought. For years he wallowed in self-pity and regret over that. Only to find out that she was alive and was fighting in the Inquisition. It was sheer luck that he had heard that news on one of his runs into a town for supplies or a small inconspicuous job. When he first heard he had snorted at that, not believing a word.

Until an Inquisition scout had confirmed her involvement in the battle at Haven as Red Templars, an ancient magister known as Corypheus and something that looked like an archdemon attacked. She had helped give the new Inquisitor time to save the people, both of them nearly dying in the process.

Anders needed to know. He needed to see her for himself. So he packed up his few meager belongings and began his trek through Ferelden to the Frostbacks. Only to end up locked away before he could confirm if she truly was alive or here. No one would tell him if she was, not even Varric.

What he did see was a bit confusing. He saw groups of not only soldiers, spies, refugees, the faithful Andrastians, mages and Templars; but groups of Grey Wardens and he could have sworn he had seen at least one of the giant Qunari. It was very confusing to him.

The sound of the prison door at the top of the stairs leading to the main level made him jump.

**Someone’s coming…** Justice’s voice said. And from what he could tell it was another mage.

Anders snorted. Probably just someone coming to relieve one of the other mages down here watching him. He huddled more into his blankets and leaned against the cold metal bars, trying to put as much distance between himself and the gaping chasms below.

Outside the door leading to the Sky Cells he could hear muffled whispers, but nothing substantial. After a few moments one of the muffled voices took on an edge of anger and something that sounded like an order.

The sound of keys unlocking the outer door echoed around him, followed by the door opening and rapid footsteps approached.

“Open the door and lead him to one of the inner cells.” A man’s voice said.

“But…” One of the Templars stammered.

“Orders from the Captain. Do it now. Shackle him and move him.”

Anders perked up and slowly stood, his cold bones creaking from the movement.

Two Templars took up position on either side of his cell door while a mage came in and quickly unlocked it, moving just as quickly out of the way as yet _another_ Templar marched in.

“Try anything, mage, and it will be your last mistake.” He growled as he took Anders’ hands and fastened shackles around his wrists. The runes etched into the ice cold metal flashed to life, indicating they were now suppressing any magic he may try.

After making sure he was secure, the Templar grabbed the chain that connected his wrists and pulled him towards the exit. The forth Templar that was set to guard him stood at the doorway leading to the inner cells, eyes kept forward and looked a little scared.

“Grab his blanket.” The Templar leading him said to the mage.

Anders frowned in confusion about the fact that he was being moved, but he wasn’t about to complain. It was marginally warmer in the inner cells for the guard there and the wind wasn’t as bad. But he couldn’t help but roll his eyes as he saw more guards inside, at least these ones weren’t Templars.

Standing at the base of the stairs talking to a solider was a figure in a billowy black cloak and the hood up. Whoever it was, was trying hard to conceal their identity at present.

Anders was transfixed by that figure that he stumbled when his guard tugged him forward into his new cell.

The Templar grunted as he barely caught the mage. “Mind your step.” Once they were in the cell he brought out the keys to his shackles.

“No, leave those on.” A new female voice said.

The Templar shrugged and went to the exit.

“Is this really necessary?” Anders demanded as the mage with his blanket tossed it in with him before they slammed and locked his new cage.

“Considering your past crimes, we will determine what is necessary.” The new voice said. “Leave us.”

“But… Captain… Sister Nightingale…” One of the guards stammered.

“I will deal with the Spymaster. Go.”

There was hesitancy, but finally the guard ordered everyone to leave.

Anders sat on the thread bare mattress that acted as a bed as he waited for them all to file out until he heard the slam of the door above. It was eerily quiet after that. The only thing he noted was that the person that stayed behind, this _Captain_ , was a mage.

**Careful.** Justice’s voice said.

The silence dragged on so long he began to fidget causing the chains on his wrists to clang together. He almost sighed in relief when he heard the tap of boots on stone approaching.

Anders jaw nearly fell when the cloaked figure came before his cell. “Rayne.” He breathed out in a whisper.

Her hood was drawn back revealing her face and her black hair pulled back in a ponytail. She hadn’t changed much over the years. At least that he could tell. Her body was covered in the oversized cloak, keeping it completely hidden. Her face was a little bit rounder than the last time he had seen her, indicating she had gained at least a little bit of weight.

“Well,” she said looking down at him. “You’ve certainly looked better.”

A mix of emotions welled up in him. He didn’t know whether he wanted to cry in relief and joy or spit in her face in anger and hate.

Unfortunately, Justice’s emotions seemed to win out. Anders frowned. “What do you expect when you unceremoniously toss me in jail?” He spat.

Rayne quirked an eyebrow. “You haven’t been down here long enough to look like a wood rat.”

He flushed in embarrassment. He had intended to clean up a bit before seeing her, but getting imprisoned had dashed that.

“And you’re lucky you didn’t have your head lopped off at the gate. You should be grateful.” She said mildly.

“Yes, I’ll have to wait for the head-lopping.” He said sarcastically.

Rayne shrugged as if she didn’t care either way.

**And maybe she didn’t.** The thought wounded him more than he cared to admit and it was enough to deflate his anger. “It’s good to see you again.”

“Is it?” She said tilted her head to one side.

Anders rose slowly. “Of course.” He went closer to the bars that acted as a barrier between them.

“Interesting. Considering you tried to kill me.” She said flatly.

He grabbed the bars, the chains hitting them sharply. “I didn’t know you were in there!” He cried.

Rayne simply stared at him. He couldn’t tell if she believed him or not.

“Please, Rayne.” He said softly. “I didn’t… had I known…”

“Had you known you still would have gone through with your plan.”

It wasn’t an accusation, but simply a statement of fact. And it still caused him to wince. “I wouldn’t have…”

She frowned. “My life is no more important than all the others lost. All those innocent people that _you_ killed.”

Justice flared forward. “Innocent? The Revered Mother did _nothing_ to help the mages against Meredith!”

“She wasn’t the only one in there!” Rayne snapped. “What about those that were simply there for prayer? What about the Sisters offering healing to any who came through the doors? Innocent women, men and children! You’re no better than Corypheus!”

The anger deflated immediately as her voice rang through the empty cells and he looked away unable to meet her hardened eyes.

She made a noise of disgust. “Was it worth it Anders? What you did? All the lives that have been lost because of what you did.”

“It wasn’t all my fault.” He said hoarsely.

“You were the first sword strike.” She bit. “Because of you Circle’s began tightening their grip on the mages within. You wanted to start a revolution. Fine. But what about the casualties that didn’t deserve the fate you put on them. Did you even, for one single moment, think of them?”

Anders didn’t answer. He didn’t know what to say. When he envisioned the possibility of seeing her again, he didn’t imagine it going like this. But he should have.

“You and Fiona both.” She said with disgust lacing her words. “Neither one of you thought about what was going to happen after. Your only thought was for the moment.”

“If you despise her choices as much as mine, they why are you allied with her?” He asked.

“It’s not my choice who our allies are. I don’t lead the Inquisition.”

He rolled his eyes. “Oh, right. _Inquisitor_ Trevelyan.”

“You know nothing of him, Anders. He’s been cleaning up the mess you started.” She smirked. “What was it Fenris always used to say? Mages in glass houses shouldn’t throw fireballs.”

Anders couldn’t help the amused small smile that came to his face at mention of the elf. Despite the fact that he and Fenris always bickered, Anders had always considered him a friend and deep down he knew Fenris felt the same. But given Fenris’ stance on whether Anders should live or die for his crimes, he highly doubted Fenris thought very highly of him anymore.

Rayne took a deep breath and leaned against the wall behind her. She looked paler.

Concern wormed its way through his belly. “Are you alright?”

“It’s nothing to concern yourself with.” Her voice soft with exhaustion.

“I am healer, remember?”

“It’s difficult to—“ She gasped in pain and placed a hand on her belly.

A belly, he realized, that was a _lot_ bigger than what should be. She may have gained weight, but Anders knew her well enough that she wouldn’t let herself go _that_ much. Which left only one conclusion: “You’re pregnant.”

Rayne shook her head and unclasped her cloak to throw it back, revealing her rather large belly beneath. And judging by size and her pain, she was near her due date.

Old resentment surged forward. “I see His Majesty is also with the Inquisition, and must be thrilled at another child.”

A sharp smirk cut into her face. “King Alistair will continue to only have one child and heir. At least by me.” She held up her left hand revealing a ring that glittered in the fire light. “This one belongs to my husband.”

A pit formed in Anders’ stomach. “You’re… you’re married?”

“A few months now. You missed seeing Vector, Isabela, Carver, Fenris and Merrill at the wedding.”

Anders didn’t know how to react to this news. If someone would have asked him if Rayne was the marrying type, he would have said no. She never seemed like that type to be tied down. She had too much of a free spirit and couldn’t handle being in one place for too long.

He shook his head and frowned. “And who is the lucky husband? Anyone I know?”

Her response was only another smirk and then she headed to stairs.

“Wait!” He tried to reach through the bars. He wanted to touch her, at least once.

Rayne turned side-faced to him. “Why did you come here Anders?”

He blinked in surprise. “Isn’t it obvious? I wanted to see you. To see if the stories were true, that you were still alive.”

“To relieve you of guilt, you mean?”

He slumped against the bars. “We were close once, Rayne.”

“Once.” She said softly. “That was before Justice tried killing me… twice.”

Regret and pain weighed heavy on his heart to the point where he couldn’t speak, just look at her hoping to convey just how much her friendship had meant to him and how much he wanted her back.

She gently shook her head, as if giving him his answer. “You will wait here for Inquisitor Trevelyan to return to Skyhold. Word has already been sent to Kirkwall of your capture.”

“Don’t I get points for turning myself in?” He said with light humor.

“If that had been your intention. But it wasn’t. You tried to sneak into Skyhold with unclear intentions. That doesn’t make you look any better.” She paused. “Some are already spreading that you tried to sneak in to assassinate the Inquisitor, or me. Some are even going so far as to say you’re in league with Corypheus.”

Anders shuddered. “Is… is it the same Corypheus we fought before?”

Rayne nodded.

“But, I thought we killed him!”

Anders remembered that encounter. Neither him nor Rayne had wanted to go back down into the Deep Roads, but Hawke had taken both of them along on this excursion to find the dwarves that were being sent to kill Hawke and Carver. It just so happened that they were led to the Deep Roads.

He remembered the horrible feeling of losing himself the deeper they went into the Grey Warden prison. Between the whispers to the taint in his blood and fighting control with Justice, it was losing battle. Rayne had managed to help him for a while, but finally it proved too much and he had snapped. Justice took over and he attacked his friends.

Luckily they managed to snap him out of it with minimal damage. Which was a good thing, considering the fight with an ancient Magister that awaited them. But they vanquished him! Or… at least so they apparently thought.

She shrugged. “He managed to survive somehow. We’re still unsure how it happened and looking for answers.” She turned fully to him finally. “Anders, how is your state of mind?”

“That worried about Justice, are you?”

She frowned. “I meant with The Calling? Are you hearing it?”

Anders tilted his head in confusion. “Should I?”

She pointed up. “You noticed the Wardens here I suspect?”

He nodded.

Rayne quickly relayed what had transpired with the Wardens, and what the Inquisition was forced to do. “They’re able to fight it, now that they know it for what it is. But…”

“But the damage has already been done.” Anders finished.

“I’m just trying to figure out what Corypheus wants with them. I mean… Wardens are natural enemies of darkspawn. They’re the only ones that can kill an archdemon. Why would he want to use them?”

“A good question.” He mumbled. He shook his head. “I’m not hearing it though.”

She nodded. “I guess Justice is good at least for one thing.” With that, Rayne turned and slowly went up the stairs. “I’ll make sure your shackles are removed and a basin is brought in to clean yourself up.”

Anders watched her go, practically pressing his head through the bars. When he heard the sound of the door open and then close, it felt like a hammer on his chest.


	113. Amell/Leliana

It was proving an eventful week. First the arrival of Anders, followed a day and half later by the arrival of Aiden with an entourage escort. Rayne had been mildly surprised that Alistair hadn’t joined him. But Aiden had explained that his father didn’t want to intrude on the event of the baby’s birth.

Every day Rayne’s cramps – that she was finally admitting were fake contractions – grew.

“You need to wait until papa is home.” She said as she rested in bed. “I would preferably like you to wait for another two weeks.”

“You’ve been through this before.” Morrigan said at her side reading a book. Ever since the contractions began increasing, she chose to stay at Rayne’s side while Solas was gone.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t tell him to stay in there.”

“Him, is it?” She said wryly.

“I figure I have a 50/50 chance.”

“Fair point.” Morrigan said with a smirk. Her head snapped up with the click of the door opening.

Aiden and Keiran came in, both carrying trays with a variety of foods.

Rayne quirked an eyebrow. “Okay, I’m beginning to question if I’m pregnant or the kitchen staff is just making me fat at this point.”

“You don’t have to eat all of it.” Aiden said lightly as he set his tray down on a nearby table. “They just didn’t know what you would like. I don’t blame them. Your tastes keep changing by the hour.” He quipped.

“Well, at least the baby is giving me variety.” She said pointedly. “Their big brother always wanted caramel, cherries and lots of bacon as I recall.”

He wrinkled his nose. “Not all the same time, I hope.”

She laughed. “You spared me that.” She waved at the trays. “You boys are welcome to pick through it all if you wish.”

Keiran’s eyes lit up and made a grab for a candied apple.

“Keiran…” Morrigan said reproachfully. “You know better.”

His face fell and he sat back.

“Oh, come now Morrigan,” Rayne said lightly as Aiden grabbed an apple. “I have yet to see him eat anything sweet. Besides, it’s also an apple. It’s half good for him.”

The Witch rolled her eyes and then studied the food in question. “Fine. You may have _one.”_

Keiran grinned. “Thank you, Mother. And you Warden Rayne.”

“Please Keiran, Rayne will suffice.” She sat up and struggled to turn to the side.

Morrigan snapped her book closed. “And just what do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m going for a walk. I can’t stand lying here anymore.” She waved over to Aiden. “Aiden, come help your oversized mother, please.”

He was quick to jump to her side. _“Mamae_ , do you really think…”

“Never mind that.” Rayne said with a sigh.

“Oh for goodness…” Morrigan gruffed and then came to help Aiden get her out of bed without too much strain. “It’s nice to know your stubbornness hasn’t abated over the last decade.”

In truth, Rayne didn’t know what was worse: constantly lying down or waddling when walking. But she was growing restless. She winced and sighed as she stood.

“Are you sure?” Aiden asked with worry.

She gave him a reassuring smile. “Of course.” She patted his shoulder. “Don’t fret so much.”

“And where do you plan on going?” Morrigan asked looking Rayne over.

“About?” She offered as she went and grabbed her oversized cloak.

“Well, you’re restricted to the keep. Last thing we need is you going outside into the ice and snow.”

“Agreed.” After making sure she was wrapped, she went out the room to the dreaded stairs. **Whose bright idea was it to have my room up here?** She thought to herself. **Oh yeah, me.**

Due to the weather the main hall was gratefully light on Orlesian nobles. They tended to venture to winter homes during the cold months. Where they were lacking in Orlesians, they made up in more Fereldan and Marcher followers, which was perfectly okay with her. And with the lack of nobles, it allowed Josephine to slow down in her duties, which was why the Ambassador was in the hall speaking with one of the dwarves.

“The roof and wall leading to the War Room are in desperate need of repair.” Josephine was saying. “Especially with all this extra snow. And do not get me started on the War Room itself.”

“It’s making you regret putting all your construction workers on a baby room, isn’t it?” Rayne said good-naturedly.

Josephine turned to her and smiled. “Not in the least.” She turned back to the dwarf. “We’ll talk later.”

“No rest for the weary, I see.” Rayne quipped.

“Just because the Inquisitor is gone, doesn’t mean Skyhold pauses.” Josephine looked her over. “Should you be moving about?”

Rayne sighed. “I’m pregnant, not dying people.”

“You are having complications, Rayne.” Morrigan interjected. “Do you recall having this pain with Aiden?”

She frowned. “Not that I can remember.”

“Something tells me it would be something you remember.”

“I’m fine.” She groused. “Okay, you can come out. If it means it will get people off my back.” She said looking down at her stomach, the baby kicked in response.

“Hey there, Rayne!” A voice boomed through the hall.

She turned and smirked as Bull came through, much to the displeasure of a few of the nobles if their wrinkled noses were any indicator. “Not on guard duty today?” She quipped.

“Nope, my day off.” He replied cheerfully.

“Where are Blackwall and Varric?” Her eyes went over to Morrigan. “Since I’ve been deemed a leper.”

The Witch didn’t deign to reply, instead simply rolling her eyes.

“Tavern. Playing Wicked Grace last I saw.” Bull said with a grin.

“No doubt at the closest window overlooking the dungeon door.” Rayne said with a chuckle.

He simply shrugged. “Hear from Cullen recently?” He asked trying to change the subject.

“Should I have?”

“Well, I thought with how the mission with Samson went, thought he would have written to you to vent.”

Rayne frowned. “And why would he have to vent?” Her eyes went to Josephine who was trying to discreetly move away. “Josephine.” She snapped.

Josephine cringed and then straightened up. “We didn’t want to add to your stress.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” She hissed. “What happened?” Dread settled over her. “Did… did something happen to Cullen?”

“No-no!” Josephine waved her hand. “Far from it.”

Rayne sighed in relief and then frowned. “Then what happened?”

“Well… they cleared Samson’s base with no casualties on our side.” Josephine hesitated.

“That’s good…” She said warily.

“But Samson was not there.” Josephine finally said. “Only his Tranquil was, along with some Red Templars.”

Rayne rubbed her head in fatigue. She had hoped that this mission with Alec would have meant the end of Samson, if only for Cullen’s sake. He would never admit it, but Cullen felt responsible for Samson and what happened to him in Kirkwall. At least, that was before Corypheus got to him. Samson was a mess that Cullen felt he needed to help clean up.

Now, she could only imagine how he was feeling. Samson had been within their grasps, only to slip through them like water. Worry began slither its way through her like a viper at the thought of Cullen and what he must be feeling. And with the worry came a wave of cramps that made her silently grit her teeth.

Bull shrugged. “Nothing to worry about. We’ll get him eventually.”

“How much is it going to cost us?” Rayne gasped sharply and gripped her stomach. Her eyes widened as she felt something wet and warm run down her legs.

“Rayne?” Josephine said with apprehension.

“I… I think my water just broke.”

* * *

* * *

 

Leliana stood in the doorway trying to keep a stone face, but she was worried more than anyone knew.

Rayne lay on her side with Aiden sitting pressed against her back as she worked through the waves of contractions with controlled breathing, grimaces and a pale face. Even Keiran was helping by keeping clean water on hand and wetting rags for Rayne. She was two weeks early and something was definitely wrong.

As soon as a runner had rushed to Leliana with the surprise that Rayne’s water had broken, she immediately sent a messenger to find Cullen. From last reports, they had arrived at the base of the Frostbacks. Under normal circumstances, the journey to Skyhold would have taken them a full day of travel. But with the weather, Maker only knew how long it would take.

Her mind snapped back to the present as Morrigan finished drying her hands. Since Solas was with the Inquisitor, it fell to the only other mage at Skyhold that Rayne trusted and knew what she was doing.

“How is she?” Leliana whispered.

Morrigan looked over at Rayne on the bed. “Not good.” She looked back at Leliana. “The baby is not turning.”

“What does that mean?”

“It _means,_ Spymaster, that we need a proper healer and one that has done this before.”

“I thought you knew what you were doing?” Leliana hissed.

“I’ve given birth, I haven’t delivered someone else’s.” Morrigan snapped back. “And you know that I’m not a healer.”

She looked to Rayne as the mage groaned in pain as another contraction hit.

Leliana tapped her fingers against her thigh in thought. Finally she came to a decision. “I’ll be back.”

“What are you going to do, Spymaster?” Morrigan asked, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

“What I must.”

She spun around and practically ran through the office where Blackwall, The Iron Bull and Varric waited, and down the stairs. Those in the hall were quick to move out of her way. Those who knew the Spymaster well knew to steer clear.

Outside the sky was light gray, not dark like the day before. Leliana prayed to the Maker that the snow would still until the Inquisitor and Cullen returned.

“Open the doors.” She barked at the guards not stopping in her stride.

They scrambled to unlock and throw open the doors leading to the cells below.

Leliana took the steps two at a time, landing hard on the ground. “Leave us!”

Everyone there knew better than to question, and a few heartbeats later, the area was clear of everyone except her and their lone prisoner.

She went to the iron gate that held him inside. Her eyes scanned the shadows until a lantern inside lit.

“Can’t a prisoner get any sleep around here?” Anders quipped from his cot.

Leliana narrowed her eyes. He had cleaned himself up since his arrival. His hair was now clean and brushed back into a ponytail, the gray at his temples now more prominent. His long scraggly beard was now cut short and trimmed, his cheeks smooth. He no longer looked like the vagabond that arrived at Skyhold almost a week before.

“You clean up nicely.” She finally said.

Anders smiled charmingly. “So do you.”

Leliana raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Yes, yes. I recognize you.” He tapped his head. “It took me a while, but I finally remembered Sister Nightingale that came to Kirkwall all those years ago.”

She sighed. Yes, she remembered running into him when The Divine had sent her to speak with Elthina, to offer the Grand Cleric the chance to go to Val Royeaux in case Justinia wasn’t able to keep from issuing an Exalted March on the city.

Elthina had been trying to convince Justinia that it was unnecessary. That if anyone could fix what was happening, it would have been The Champion. Justinia didn’t have that faith. So Elthina asked Hawke to speak with Leliana on her behalf, hoping Hawke would be able to convince them both where she couldn’t.

Anders, Prince Sebastian and Fenris had all been present for the meeting. Leliana had hoped that Anders wouldn’t remember her. Not that it really mattered, everyone knew what she did as Left Hand of The Divine. She just preferred this particular mage hadn’t remembered her. But maybe this would make it easier.

“I also remember the stories Rayne told about you.” Anders grinned knowingly.

Leliana suppressed a groan. Of course Rayne would have said something. She had to remember that the two mages were once friends. “That doesn’t matter now.”

He looked over his fingernails with a bored expression. “Well, this is the first time you’ve deigned me with your presence. Must be important.”

“It’s about Rayne.”

Anders tried to act uninterested, but at mention of that name, she could see his eyes light up. “Oh, and what does the Warden-Commander want.”

“I would imagine she wants to live.”

He frowned and finally looked at her. “What do you mean?”

“It’s the baby.”

He stood and came closer.

“Rayne used to say you were one of the best healers she had ever known.” Leliana said hesitantly. “Is that statement still true?”

“It’s been a few years,” Anders offered. “But, I’m pretty sure I still know what I’m doing. And I’ve helped with delivering babies.”

She studied him and narrowed her eyes. “Let me be perfectly clear: I don’t trust you. Your crimes are unforgivable, and the Maker will judge you accordingly.”

He lowered his eyes in shame.

She hesitated in her next words. “But once… you were a good man. A good mage that used his gift of magic to help those in need, at least from what Rayne use to say and what we heard about you from those in Dark Town.

“Are you willing to use those gifts to save Rayne _now?”_

Anders slowly lifted his head.


	114. Trevelyan/Cullen

He attempted to rub out the knot in his neck. His whole body was in protest of _still_ traveling through the cold mountains.

Alec wanted nothing more than to be home with a mug of hot spiced wine to warm him.

He looked to his Commander who looked lost in his own thoughts. As much as Alec and others with him were miserable, Cullen was full of worry. Worry of what they found at the Temple, not finding Samson, finding the Tranquil Maddox. But all that paled in comparison to his worry over Rayne.

They had been advised to not send any messages directly to Rayne, they worried what stress would do to her. So Cullen had no word if she was alright, and it was driving him mad.

Alec looked behind him at his companions and the weariness in their step. “Well, at our current pace, and weather willing, we should reach Skyhold by nightfall.” He smiled at Cullen.

Cullen hummed absentmindedly as if he wasn’t really listening. Which may have been entirely possible.

Alec tilted his head. “You shouldn’t worry so much you know. You’ll get wrinkles, and what would Rayne think about that?” He teased.

Cullen blinked rapidly finally pulling his thoughts to the moment. He looked at Alec, “What was that about Rayne?”

He shook his head with an amused smirk. “I was just saying you need to stop worrying so much.”

His Commander frowned and looked down. “I can’t help it. I know stress is playing havoc on her.”

“Well, considering we brought two of the main causes of her stress,” Alec said with a throw of his head back towards the group behind them. “I would think she had less to worry about… or get angry over.”

Cullen chuckled. “Knowing Rayne she probably found something else to stress over. If it wasn’t for the fact that she and Morrigan had been getting along better, I would have added the Witch to that list.”

He laughed. “I have to admit, I’m surprised by that. Considering Morrigan’s welcome to Skyhold and all.”

That garnered a smile from Cullen. “I think that has a lot to do with Aiden and Keiran, the boys have become close friends when Aiden was at Skyhold.”

Alec nodded and was still trying to work out what had seemed strange between the two boys. When he saw them together there was something there that nagged at him, but he couldn’t place it. When he brought it up to Rayne she had shrugged and asked how she should know, she only recently found out about Keiran. But Alec had a feeling she knew exactly what he was asking about. He didn’t mind, he enjoyed solving a good mystery.

“I’m also curious about what is happening at Skyhold.” Cullen continued unaware of his thoughts.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just… it seemed Leliana’s reports seemed…” He frowned to find the right word.

“Cagey?” Alec offered.

“Something like that.” Cullen mumbled.

“Who knows what Leliana is into at the moment?”

Cullen hummed in thought and his frown deepened. His eyes scanned around them.

“What it is?” Alec held up his hand halting the march.

“Do you hear that?”

He listened and shook his head. He was about to say something when the sounds of a rapidly approaching horse finally reached his ears.

Cullen unsheathed his sword and laid it across his lap waiting to see who or what was coming.

It didn’t take long for a horse and rider in Inquisition colors to come galloping around the bend. The moment the rider spotted them he pulled up slowing down his horse.

Alec released his pent up breath, but a frown came to his face when he saw the frantic look on the runner’s face.

“Most Holy! Commander Cullen!” The runner called approaching. “You must make haste to Skyhold!”

Cullen shoved his sword back into its scabbard. “What happened?”

“Are we under attack?” Alec asked. He always feared that setting up at Skyhold would entice Corypheus to send someone to attack.

The runner shook his head and his eyes went to Cullen. “It’s the Captain, Sir! She’s gone into labor.”

Cullen’s eyes widened. “What?”

“But she’s early!” Alec said in shock.

The runner shrugged helplessly.

Alec turned to Cullen. “Go. You’ll make better time without this big group.”

But his Commander looked a bit in shock.

“Cullen!” Alec snapped.

He snapped out of whatever trance he was in.

“Go!”

Cullen finally nodded and swung his horse around. “Solas!”

The elf was quick to maneuver his halla mount to the front. “Yes, Commander?”

“You and I must ride for Skyhold, now.” Cullen ordered. He didn’t wait for a reply from Solas.

He swung back around and set his heels into the sides of his horse, galloping away.

To his credit, Solas didn’t question and followed close behind.

**Maker,** Alec thought to himself. **Guide their path.**

* * *

* * *

 

The hall was in frenzy, no one knew exactly what was happening. He glanced Josephine trying to settle the people, but their curiosity was too strong to just sit back and wait. He didn’t mind any of it, his only care was getting to Rayne.

Cullen was aware of Solas running right behind him as a silent shadow as they pounded up the stairs and threw open the door to the office.

He skidded to a halt as he took everything in finally. Aiden, Keiran, Bull, Blackwall and Varric all sat around with looks full of worry and agitation. But that wasn’t what confused Cullen. By the closed door were three guards, armed and ready.

“What in Andraste’s name…” He started.

“Cullen!” Aiden shouted and tried to stand quickly.

A cry of pain pierced through the door.

He didn’t wait. “Move!” He growled and pushed past the guards.

Leliana stood near the door, trying to stay out of the way. Morrigan was with Rayne on the bed, wiping his wife’s pale forehead with a wet rag. And another mage that he couldn’t identify between her legs with a sheet over what he was doing to give her some semblance of modesty.

Rayne slowly opened her eyes. “Cullen…” She breathed out weakly.

He ripped off his gloves and sword belt, dropping them on the floor as he rushed to her side. “Rayne.” Worry made his voice heavy as he took her hand.

“You’re here…” She said softly.

“Of course I am.” He said as he brushed his fingers over her cheek that was slick with sweat and water.

Rayne attempted a smile, but it turned into a grimace and low groan of pain.

“It’s almost there Rayne.” The mage, whose face was still hidden, said below.

Leliana brought Cullen a chair.

“What happened?” He asked.

The mage’s head finally poked out from what he was doing. “I’m having to turn the baby and she’s losing blood. Now, hush!”

Solas didn’t try to move the other mage away, instead choosing to stand beside him and watch with a critical eye. Obviously the elf didn’t want to cause more complications by trying to put himself where he had been training to be.

Cullen’s eyes narrowed on the mage below as he continued to work, seeing one hand moving over her swollen belly. “Wait, I know you…”

“Cullen,” Leliana said sharply. “Now is not the time.”

And that’s when he saw it. “Anders.” He breathed.

“Yes,” Anders said with a grimace. “But unless you want to run the risk of losing your…” he paused and curled his lip. “Who I assume is your wife and baby, you’ll hold off on any actions of vengeance.”

Cullen swallowed down his rage. Anger that this apostate had to audacity to not only come to Skyhold, but was now helping to deliver his baby. But Anders had a point. And if there was one thing that Cullen knew: Anders was a spot on healer. If anyone could save his wife and child, it would be him. He just hoped that Justice wouldn’t rear his ugly head.

“Cullen.” Rayne said softly regaining his attention.

He clasped both hands around hers. “I’m here.”

She looked at him with milky eyes of fatigue. “You’ll take good care of them, won’t you?”

His eyebrows shot up. “ _We_ both will. Don’t go talking like you’re not going to be there.”

She gave him a shaky smile and closed her eyes.

“Rayne,” Cullen shook her hand. “Wake up. You’re not leaving me. You’re not leaving _us._ ”

“Got it!” Anders yelled in excitement. He looked up at Rayne. “Rayne! Rayne, wake up! You need to push, and you need to push _NOW!”_

“Lift her up.” Morrigan ordered.

Cullen was quick to mimic her actions of gently grabbing Rayne’s arm and lifting her into a somewhat sitting position.

Rayne gasped.

“Come on, Rayne.” Anders encouraged. “This baby is ready, now more than ever.”

She took some steadying breaths and her face hardened in resolve. Cullen took her hand as she squeezed and cried out as she pushed.

* * *

* * *

 

Alec stood in the office that was feeling more and more like a waiting room. He paced back-and-forth like he was the expectant father, Dorian even quipping as such. But he was starting to worry.

It had been 10minutes since the last time they heard Rayne’s cry of pain and determination, moments later they heard the joyous cries of a baby.

What should have allowed everyone there to breathe a sigh of relief quickly brought on more anxiety at the sounds of Cullen yelling at Rayne to stay with them and someone else ordering Solas to take the baby.

After that… had been silence.

Alec thought that both a good and bad thing. Silence meant that no one was gone. But it also meant that they didn’t know what was happening.

Just when he was about to throw up his arms and barge in there to find out what happened, the door clicked open.

He spun around and managed to catch a glimpse of Rayne on the bed with her eyes closed. Cullen sat at her side and looked to be murmuring softly to her and rubbing her forehead. Alec couldn’t tell if she was sleeping or… Solas and a mage – whom he was told was Anders – hovered over her casting healing magic.

**Healing magic.** He thought. **That means she’s not gone.**

Leliana came through the door, holding a small bundle in her arms.

Aiden jumped to his feet and rushed to her. “ _Mamae,_ ” He said with a voice full of worry. “Is she…”

Leliana gave him a smile. “She will need some healing, she’s tired and weak. But she will be fine.”

There was a collective sigh of relief.

Leliana’s smile brightened and she motioned Aiden closer. “Come, meet your little sister.”

Aiden’s eyes widened and he looked down at her bundle as she unveiled the baby within.

Alec looked over her shoulder and a smile came to his face as he looked down at the soft pudgy  red face with a cute little nose that was definitely her mother’s and a full head of black hair. The baby opened her mouth in a yawn and blinked up at the light that had woken her revealing dark eyes that would no doubt lighten into amber.

“She’s beautiful.” Aiden said in a strained voice.

“Would you like to hold her?” Leliana asked.

“I… can I?”

She nodded and waited for Aiden to bring his arms. “Remember to support her head.”

Aiden carefully brought his little sister close to his chest and easily moved his hands and arms to hold her.

“You’re a natural, Squirt.” Varric said as Aiden knelt so the dwarf could see her. He chuckled. “Takes after her mom.”

“She’s gonna have her daddy’s eyes though.” Alec put in. He looked at Leliana. “Does she have a name?”

His Spymaster’s face was the softest he had ever seen it as she swooned over the baby. “Davia. Davia Serenity Rutherford.”

He smiled knowing the origins of the name. Right from Starkhaven meaning “beloved”. **Beloved Serenity,** he thought in amusement.

“Giving you ideas, _Amatus?”_ Dorian said beside him as his lover slipped a hand into his.

Alec shook his head with a smile and looked around the room as they all gathered around Aiden and Davia. **She will definitely never lack for love.**


	115. Amell

She slipped out the Fade with heavy eyes. She remembered only waking once more after passing out initially to feed the baby, but nothing after.

**The baby.** Rayne thought as she rubbed her eyes. “Cullen?” She mumbled and turned her head to the spot where she should have found her husband.

But his side of the bed was empty. The blankets were thrown back showing at least that he had tried to sleep.

Wincing, Rayne sat up and looked around the room finding her alone. Only a gentle glow pouring out of the nursery gave any light. As gently and slowly as she could, she stood off the bed and grabbed her robe that hung nearby to wrap around her.

Her body was sore and she was tired. But she willed herself to walk to the nursery.

Inside was only moderately brighter than the other room, it was enough to illuminate the figures inside without causing too much light to possibly wake the baby.

Aiden was sprawled out on the floor next to crib, a pillow under his head and a light blanket thrown over his body; one leg sticking out that would occasionally twitch from whatever dream he found himself in.

And standing over the crib was Cullen, wearing his tunic loosely tied and sleeping pants. His curls were wild and semi-dark circles were under his eyes from attempting to sleep. He leaned on the crib as he reached inside with a tender expression on his face and began to sing just as softly:

_Come, little bird: fly faster, fly home._  
_Your wind-beaten wing-beats have carried you far._  
_Is your soul so weary? So lonely as mine?_  
_No moonlight outshines your bright home-guiding star._

_What green wood flew you by? What white waves soared you through?_  
_What high star-peaked mountains leapt you in the dark?_  
_Wonderer, wanderer, bitter-sweet yearning,_  
_Come back, little bird, my hearth-home, my heart._

 

Rayne leaned against the door jamb, a soft smile came to her face as she recognized the Fereldan Lullaby. She heard it after the battle at Denerim; mothers singing the song in weary voices filled with hope to frightened children and the melody would sooth tears.

At the time the song would make her heart clench with loneliness; never knowing the feeling of a concerned mother, or the memory of her singing. After Aiden was born she wondered how she could be a good mother to her baby boy when she didn’t have those memories with her own mother. She was scared that she would do something wrong, even something as so simple as a lullaby.

Rose had been a god-send, teaching her how best to take care of the baby in the traditional sense. Even Nathaniel, for the short time before she left Ferelden, had been a good teacher thanks to his memories with his mother. But still, Rayne worried.

It wasn’t until her first night alone with Aiden when his cries woke her in the middle of the night and her first instinct was to just pick him up and sing softly to him that she started to feel like she could actually pull off being a mom. It didn’t matter what she sang, it was just the sound of her voice that calmed him, as it no doubt did with all children. It was never the song, it was the parent.

“Rayne?” Cullen asked in a concerned soft tone finally turning to her. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” She nodded to the crib and came closer. “Is she?”

He watched her a few moments before turning back to the crib. “Of course.”

She joined him and looked down, a smile blossomed on her face at the little girl inside that was chewing on the edge of her blanket with wide dark eyes looking up at them.

“She’s so quiet.” Cullen said softly. “I found her like this.”

Rayne chuckled. “She’s quiet now. Just wait until she gets hungry.” She looked over at Cullen. “Are you okay?”

He nodded and reached inside to gently pull the blanket away from Davia’s mouth, rewarding them with her yawning. “I just couldn’t sleep. So I thought… just come in here and check on her.”

She slipped her hand into his and kissed his cheek. “First time parent.”

Cullen looked at her and just smiled in amusement. “Come on. Let’s get you back to bed.”

“The both of us. You need sleep too.”

He turned her away from the crib and led her out. “Well, you need it more than I do.”

“I do?” She teased.

“You just effectively gave birth to a watermelon. You need sleep.”

Rayne contained her laugh and looked down at Aiden as they left. “Has he been sleeping here all night?”

Cullen nodded. “I didn’t seem any harm in it.” He grinned. “He’s started calling her ‘Vi’.”

She shook her head and went to the bed as he quietly closed the door, leaving it only open a crack. “Has Varric given her one yet?”

“No.” He laughed. “I’ll count that as a blessing at the moment. Says he can’t give her a proper name until she learns how to do something other than drool.”

He helped her get comfortable again before going to his side of the bed and wrapped her in his arms. “We did good.” He said softly.

Rayne smiled. “We did.”

 

* * *

 

“How are you feeling today?” Anders asked standing at the window looking out.

She covered Davia’s head and her exposed breast as she fed her daughter, sighing in relief as Davia – or Vi, as Aiden insisted on calling her – suckled at her swollen breast. One of the many things she didn’t miss. “I was sore. But your healing seems to have helped.”

He nodded and turned slightly to make sure she was covered before turning fully to her. “That’s good. I was worried that something may be wrong… considering how the birthing went.”

Rayne gave him a lopsided smile. “I wasn’t worried. If there is one thing I believe about you, you’re still the best healer I know.”

Anders smiled sheepishly. “I’ll admit, it’s been a while.” He cocked his head to the side. “I’m surprised you wanted me to check up on you though. Now that your company healer is back and all.”

She suppressed the urge to scowl at the thought of Solas. “Would you prefer being down in the dungeon instead?” She asked, trying to hide the real reason why she chose Anders over the elf. “As I recall: you’re still a criminal in the custody of the Inquisition. And the Inquisitor can choose at any moment to pass judgment.”

He frowned. “Does he have that authority?”

“You willingly came to Skyhold.” She said dryly. “And were caught by Inquisition forces. Besides, I doubt anyone would holler too loudly about it.”

“Fair enough.” He mumbled. “So, where is your dear husband?” He asked, not hiding his distaste.

Rayne narrowed her eyes. “Don’t even start.”

Anders shrugged and sniffed. “You did always have a thing for Templars.”

“Cullen isn’t a Templar anymore.”

“One can’t _stop_ being a Templar.” He frowned. “Unless they…”

“Stop taking lyrium.” She finished, readjusting Davia to be more comfortable. “Which is what he has done.”

He barked a laugh. “Not sure whether I should commend him or call him crazy.”

“What he’s doing is brave.” Rayne snapped. “He has a strength that few men have. Willing to put himself through the pain so as not to be leashed.”

“I’m sorry? Was that a dig at me?” He asked incredulously.

“Take it however you want.” She grumbled.

A knock on the door cut off his next words.

“Come in.” She called.

Aiden stuck his head in, a smile on his face and eyes filled with confusion. “Why are there guards…” as soon as his eyes fell on Anders his smile immediately changed into a scowl.

Anders on the other hand brightened as her son came in. “Aiden! I didn’t think I would get a chance to see you.”

He chose to ignore the mage and turned to her. “What is _he_ doing here?”

Rayne watched as Ander’s face wilted into pain. “He’s was here checking up on your baby sister.”

Aiden shook his head and went to the nursery. “Where is she?”

“Feeding.”

His face flushed. “Oh, uh, should I come back?”

She chuckled. “You’re fine. Everything is hidden.”

He came up behind her and placed a hand on the back of her chair, a protective like gesture against the other mage in the room. Rayne couldn’t help but smile at the similarities between him and his father. Alistair did the same thing whenever he deemed something a threat or his jealousy came out.

“Okay, so he checked Vi. Why is he _still_ here?” He snapped.

“Just catching up.” Anders said.

Rayne raised an eyebrow. _“Friends_ catch up, Anders.”

He tilted his head, his eyes as sad as the kittens he used to find in Dark Town. “Are you saying… we’re not friends?”

“Are you serious?” She asked in disbelief. “Anders, you’ve nearly killed me… twice!”

“Once while pregnant with me.” Aiden mumbled.

“Even in Kirkwall,” Rayne continued. “We weren’t exactly close.”

Anders looked like she had just stabbed him, which was baffling. It was true, after Amaranthine and his merging with Justice and his attempt on not only her life but Aiden’s, Rayne was anything but friendly to him when they met back up thanks to Vector years later. And then only a few years ago she had been caught in his magical attack on the Chantry. Did he really expect them to be close friends after that?

She may have forgiven a lot over the years, releasing anger, including forgiving Anders’ folly, but she would never forget it. That would forever keep them from ever becoming close again.

Rayne sighed and rubbed her head with her free hand. “You should go, Anders. I’m sure my husband would like to be able to return to his room at some point.”

He opened his mouth to perhaps protest, but a pointed look from her and a subtle shift from Aiden halted that. He nodded slowly. “Very well. You know where to find me, should you need.”

She looked up at her son, “Aiden, can you get the guards please.”

He was more than eager to get rid of Anders.

The guards were quick to come in and place the mage in restraints again before finally leading him out.

Aiden leaned against the door, shutting it and sighed. “Why didn’t you let Solas come check on you and Vi?”

“I didn’t realize I had to have your permission on who is my attending healer.” She said dryly.

He frowned. “You don’t but…”

“You _know_ why I don’t want to be around Solas.” She snorted. “I think it speaks volumes that I’m more comfortable around a known murderer than around the opinionated elf.” Davia squirmed beneath the blanket, indicating she was done. “You may want to turn around.”

Aiden did so, crossing his arms. “You’re not worried that he may have done something to you and Vi?”

She snorted. “Like what?” She brought Davia out from under the blanket and positioned her for burping and began patting her back. “There were guards outside the door and I’m more than capable of handling him.”

He turned his head to see him raise an eyebrow. “While feeding a baby?” He asked skeptically.

She smirked. “Not the first time.”

Aiden rolled his eyes and went to the window. “I don’t trust him.”

“Nor should you. Not so long as Justice is there.” Davia finally burped in her ear. She brought the girl down and wiped her mouth with the blanket. “I’ve always told you: know your enemy. I know Anders, I could have handled him fine.”

“You say so.” He mumbled.

Rayne shook her head and smiled. “When did you and Cullen become such mother hens?” She said in amusement. “Come. Take her for a moment, will you?”

He grinned and quickly took Davia from her. “Hey Lil’ Vi.” He practically cooed.

“You make a great big brother.” She said as she arranged herself back into her top before tossing away the blanket.

Aiden smiled sheepishly. “Pretty easy, considering she’s such a good baby.”

Davia cooed in his arms and grabbed his necklace and pulled.

He made a choking sound as he gently pried the leather from her fingers.

Rayne laughed. “Told you to tuck that under your shirt.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He said sarcastically as Davia laughed. “Do you think she’s going to have Cullen’s eyes?”

“Probably.” She asked and stood. She stretched out her body and was relieved to find the soreness that had been there before was gone. She mentally thanked Anders’ healing touch for that. **Perhaps I will be able to start getting back into shape sooner?** She thought to herself

She hoped so, she felt absolutely horrid and she could no longer lay blame at being pregnant. She idly ran a hand over her belly that wasn’t nearly as big as it had been days before, but it was grotesque to her. She had to fight the urge to flinch as hands rubbed over what once had been well-toned muscle.

**How can I even show myself to Cullen when I can barely stand to touch my own body?** She thought in despair. This was a new feeling for her; she hadn’t had this problem after she had Aiden, since she had been alone.

It had been months since the last time she had been sexually intimate with Cullen, and had been nearly as long since the last time he saw her naked because she felt she was too big and hideous. And Cullen, being the amazing man he was, didn’t push. But she could see the confusion and sometimes want in his eyes.

**Will I be able to look like someone worthy of him again?** She asked herself. It was a silly thought, she knew she could. She did it before, didn’t she? **Yes, a decade ago.** She thought grimly.

“That’s a shame.” Aiden said unaware of her thoughts.

“Is that a bad thing?” Rayne asked lightly and picked up Davia’s favorite toy: a stuffed mabari. A gift from Varric.

Aiden shrugged.

“What is it?” She asked softly as she handed him the mabari.

“It’s just…” he shook his head. “It’s silly.”

She gave him a playful nudge. “Come on, what it is?”

He sighed and took the toy. “I guess… it kinda bothers me that me and Vi won’t look anything alike. Who’s going to believe that we’re siblings?” He began playing with his little sister and gentle smile came to his face. “I mean, she has your hair. Me, I have the Theirin blond locks. I have your eyes; she’ll no doubt have Cullen’s brown. We’re going to be complete opposites.”

Rayne smiled at her son and leaned over as Vi gasped out little fits of laughter trying to grab for the mabari before Aiden playfully pulled it away just to bring it back to her face and gently nuzzling it to her cheek. “I don’t know about that. I think you’d be surprised.”

Aiden snorted. “How so?”

“Well, let’s see.” She playfully poked Vi’s nose and then Aiden’s. “You both have the same nose. The way both your eyes brighten when your happy or excited. You both seem to have a face structure that will be similar.”

He rolled his eyes. “You can’t tell that yet.”

Rayne laughed lightly. “Perhaps not. But I think she will. But there is one _big_ thing that you both have in common.”

“And what’s that?” He asked eagerly.

“You both have my undying love” She kissed the side of his head.

Aiden groaned. _“Mamae.”_

“I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lullaby sung by Cullen comes from A Fereldan Lullaby (cover) by Irene Zhong  
> https://irenezhong.bandcamp.com/track/a-fereldan-lullaby-cover


	116. Cullen

He braced himself over his desk, leaning over his wooden box with a vial of lyrium nestled inside. His hand shook from the want. His head pounded from the need.

Cullen eyed that vial, his mind and heart at war.

**Take it.** His mind kept telling him in soothing tempting tones. Tones that reminded him too much of the Desire Demon years ago at the Circle. **One little dose won’t hurt.**

**No, don’t.** His heart would yell back with his own voice. **Not now. Not after everything that you’ve gained.**

His fingers gripped his desk.

His eyes narrowed in accusation at the box.

He growled and picked up the box. With a shout of pain and frustration he _threw_ the box in the direction of his side door.

Just as he realized said door was now wide open and the Inquisitor was coming through

“Maker’s Breath!” He exclaimed as the box and vial shattered, luckily missing Alec. “I didn’t hear you enter!”

Alec looked down at the broken box and then back up at his Commander with a smirk. “So long as you weren’t aiming at me, I’m sure the box had it coming.” He joked.

In his current state Cullen just saw it as accusing. He slowly came around the desk with the intent of picking up his mess. “Honestly, I didn’t know you were…” He doubled over and grunted as pain pressed into his head, abdomen and chest.

When his vision cleared he found Alec directly in front of him holding his shoulder. Worry shined in his blue eyes. “Are you alright?”

“Yes.” Cullen answered quickly and then sighed in defeat. “I don’t know.” He amended in a weary tone.

He set his jaw in frustration. **He needs to understand!** He yelled to himself. **He needs to know _why_ I need to do this.** But he was hesitant. There were very few still around that knew just exactly what he went through in Kinloch Hold, and only two at Skyhold knew… Well, three counting Cole through unwanted means.

**But he needs to know.** Cullen said to himself and stood straight to look Alec in the eyes. “You asked what happened to Ferelden’s Circle.”

Alec nodded lowly and remained quiet. For that, Cullen was grateful.

“It was taken over by abominations. The Templars – _my friends –_ were slaughtered.” He finally managed to say the words. It was the first time he had ever actually spoke of it to someone who didn’t know what happened. And it was hard; even now it felt like a vice on his chest squeezing at his heart and lungs in protest.

He went to the window, hoping that the cool mountain air on his face would help. But all it did was help relive the memory. “I was tortured.” His voice was harsh from pent up emotion. “They tried to break my mind, and I – “ He shook his head. “How can you be the same person after that?

“Still, I wanted to serve.” His voice filled with disgust. “They sent me to Kirkwall. I trusted my Knight-Commander, and for what? Her fear of mages ended in madness. Kirkwall’s Circle fell. Innocent people died in the streets.”

He turned sharply back to Alec who stood listening. “Can’t you see why I want nothing to do with that life?” Cullen spat.

Alec took a step towards him in compassion. “Of course I can. I—“

Cullen shook his head and moved away. “Don’t!” He snapped and then rubbed his forehead. “You should be questioning what I’ve done.”

His whole body began to shake. From the withdrawal or emotion, who could say? He could no longer stand still. He began pacing, throwing his arms around him in frustration as he continued to rant.

“I thought this would be better – that I would regain some control over my life. But these thought won’t leave me…” He said in dismay.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Alec frown and place both hands on his hips as if wanting to speak. But Cullen didn’t give him the chance.

“How many lives depend on our success?” He growled. “I swore myself to this cause… I will _not_ give less to the Inquisition than I did the Chantry.” His hands balled into fists. “I should be taking it!” He yelled and swung around.

He slammed his hand in his book case, causing scrolls to jumps and roll onto the floor. In his frustration he didn’t even feel the pain. “I should be taking it.” He said softly.

He immediately heard Alec draw closer then felt a hand on his tense shoulder. “You give enough, Cullen. I’m not asking you for more.” His voice said that he would refuse it if Cullen offered.

Cullen turned his head to the Inquisitor, the tension in his body loosened and fatigue began to settle in.

“The Inquisition _can_ be your chance to start over.” Alec assured him. “If you want it to be.”

Cullen looked to the floor and sighed heavily and turned to the mage. “I don’t know if that’s possible.” He said wearily.

Alec looked at him square in the eye. “It is.”

Cullen searched his hard eyes. **He believes I can. He believes… in me.** He thought to himself. **And he’s not the only one.** He exhaled, “All right.”

The Inquisitor held his gaze a few moments longer, as if searching for doubt. Finally he nodded and stepped away and smiled. “You’re already starting over. And it’s a good start.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “I honestly feel like I don’t deserve them.” He shook his head and gave Alec a half smile. “I just… need some time.”

Alec nodded in understanding. “Of course.” He turned to leave but stopped at the door. “And Cullen?”

“Hmm?” He hummed in response as he rubbed a hand over his stubble covered cheek.

“I’m always here to talk… if you need it.” With that, the Inquisitor left.

Cullen collapsed in his chair, feeling very tired.

* * *

 

He had spent the rest of the day alone in his office. Only taking messengers with letters that couldn’t be ignored and only leaving long enough to sneak into the kitchens to get something to eat at one point. He just wanted to rest.

Finally, when night had fallen and people began heading to their respective sleeping quarters, did he finally leave and head to his own room. The fact that he hadn’t heard from Rayne all day made him worry just exactly what he was walking into.

When he pushed open the door to their room he found Aiden sitting cross-legged on their bed watching Rayne slowly walk back-and-forth, gently bouncing Davia in her arms and whispering calmly.

The moment she saw him – Maker only knew what he looked like – she turned to Aiden. “Can you give us a bit? I’m sure Cole would like to spend more time with you.”

Aiden eyed Cullen curiously but nodded. “Sure thing.” He jumped from the bed and quickly left.

“Be careful in the ice and snow!” Rayne called after him.

Cullen turned away to make sure the door was secure, leaning heavily into it and hesitant to turn back to his wife’s concerned gaze.

“How are you?” She asked.

He breathed heavily. “Long day.” He said softly and turned back around.

Rayne tilted her head to regard him. “So I heard.”

He groaned and went to the bed. “I presume Alec came to you.” He sat heavily and bent to start unlacing his boots.

He caught her frown. “Should he have?”

Cullen mentally berated himself. Of course the Inquisitor didn’t come running to her. What happened early was a private moment and Alec wouldn’t break his confidence. Forgoing his boots he sat back up and rubbed his head.

Rayne sat beside him. “The lack of sleep has nothing to do with Davia, does it?”

He barely turned his head to her. “It was a better reason than the real one.”

“Cullen,” She gently chastised. “Why didn’t you talk to me? Let me help?”

“Because you had enough to worry about. You just had a baby, Rayne. Your main focus should be on you and Davia.” He shook his head and stood. “Not me and my… ailments.”

“So,” She said slowly. “Because I had a baby, that means I can’t still be worried about you?”

“You shouldn’t have to be worried about me.” He said in a voice barely louder than a whisper and looked away. “I… I nearly gave in today. If it hadn’t been for… I’m weak.”

He heard rustling of blankets on the bed before he felt her warmth close to his body. “You give yourself far too little credit.”

“I fear you give me far too much.”

Her fingers came under his chin and gently raised his face to look at her. “Cullen, what you’re doing… it’s no easy thing. Do you _want_ to go back to using lyrium?”

He shook his head. “No.”

Rayne smiled gently and moved the errant stray hair from his forehead. “And that fact shows you have great strength. Not many others would be willing to go through what you are. Those that do go off the blue, it’s by no choice of their own and they are forced to find other means of getting it.” She frowned. “Or those that are so weak that they turn to something worse.”

“Like Samson.” He said softly.

She nodded. “You… you _chose_ to go down the difficult path to make yourself a better man.” She stood on the balls of her feet and tilted his head down to kiss his forehead. “You are the strongest man I’ve ever known.” She whispered into his hair.

Tears pressed into his eyes and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her to him to bury his face into her neck. “I don’t deserve you. Any of you.” His voice muffled. “You deserve someone better.”

Rayne carded her fingers through the hair at the base of his neck. “I deserve a man that loves me unconditionally. And Vi deserves a loving father. As far as I can tell, you qualify for both those.”

Cullen pressed his eyes shut and just breathed her scent of spice and berries as she began to hum. He tightened his hold on her, simply allowing her love for him to wash over him. Marveling how she could love him so with all his faults.

They held each other until noises from the bed interrupted. Cullen took a deep shaking breath before pulling away.

Rayne looked up at him and moved his stray hair again.

He gave her a lopsided smile before kissing her forehead. “You’re far too good for me.”

She snorted. “We both know that isn’t true.”

He chuckled into her hair and pulled away allowing her to turn back to the bed. He grinned as he saw Davia nestled in a nest of pillows to keep her from falling off the bed. He figured she was a ways off from rolling over, but he didn’t doubt that she could squirm to the edge of the bed.

Rayne picked up their daughter and wiped her face.

“I’m curious,” Cullen said. “If it wasn’t Alec that came to you, how did you know what happened?”

“I didn’t know exactly what happened.” She shrugged. “Guards were talking about the noise that was coming from your office. Raised voices and something sounding like it was thrown across the room.” She nodded to his hand. “Which I now know was actually your hand hitting something.”

He raised his hand and massaged it, causing him to wince. “Bookshelf.”

She nodded. “Aiden heard them talking, and since your office was closed, he came to me asking what had happened. Obviously I didn’t know.” She paused. “How is your hand?”

“Sore. Nothing to worry about.”

Rayne smirked and went back to him. She touched his hand; he immediately felt the cooling sensation of healing magic and the soreness and stiffness that had been there slowly evaporated.

“That wasn’t necessary.” He gently chided as he flexed his hand. “My penance for my stupidity.”

She simply shrugged and started gently rocking Davia.

Cullen looked down at his daughter as she reached forward as if to grab something.

“Would you like to hold her?” Rayne asked.

He immediately stepped back and shook his head. “Better not.” He went back to the bed and restarted his task of removing his boots. But he could feel Rayne’s eyes drill into him.

“Why don’t you want to hold her?” She asked. “You haven’t held her since she was born. And from what I understand you didn’t even hold her after that.”

“I was more concerned for you at that point.”

“But since then? You haven’t.”

“Of course I have.” He said, refusing to look up into her piercing gaze. “Just the other night…”

“You tended to her in her crib.” Rayne interrupted. “But didn’t hold her.”

Cullen tugged off his boots and sighed, finally looking up at her. “I… I’m afraid.”

She looked at him quizzically. “Afraid?”

He looked back down at his hands, opening and closing them. “I don’t want to hurt her.”

“Hurt her?”

Cullen rubbed the calluses on his fingers, “My hands… they’ve only known how to wield a weapon. A shield to protect, and a sword to hurt. They don’t know how to… how to be…” He couldn’t finish.

“You’ve proven time and time again with me that you can be gentle and loving.” Rayne came right in front of him, drawing him to sit up. “You can do the same for her.” She grinned and came forward. “Here.”

He leaned back, panic seizing him as Rayne practically thrust Davia into his arms. “Rayne… I don’t…”

She was quick to position his arms and hands under the baby. “Mind her head, it needs support for a while.”

Cullen’s heart pounded in his chest. “Rayne, please…”

But she wouldn’t have it. She stepped away from him, leaving him alone to hold Davia.

He gritted his teeth, his body stiff trying not to move. But sounds in his arms brought his eyes down.

Davia was blowing air through her lips making sputtering noises and blowing little bubbles that were gathering on her lips.

Cullen tilted his head as he watched her. The sight of his daughter simply being content in his arms caused his body to relax. Out of reflex, he brought a hand up to the bubbles at her lips and popped them.

Davia laughed in short gasps, her eyes lighting up; he could only imagine how her whole face would light up when she was able to smile. She cooed and grabbed his finger and almost seemed to be analyzing it.

His face softened and the fear seeped out of him. “My little Butterfly.” He said softly.

Rayne knelt in front of him and handed him a rag to swipe the spittle from Davia’s chin. “Butterfly.” She hummed in thought. “I think you just beat Varric to a nickname.”

Cullen smiled sheepishly and cleaned his daughter’s face.

Holding Davia, with Rayne by his side… yes, this was a good start.


	117. Amell

She looked over reports that she had been ignoring for the last two weeks, finally giving in that she needed to get back to her duties. Some she chastised herself for not getting back to sooner, such as the one from Nathaniel about The Architect’s progress concerning the cure for the Calling.

Since Avernus’ death nearly five years ago, finally succumbing to the Blight in his blood himself after prolonging his life with blood magic since the Storm Age, Rayne only worked with The Architect on trying to find a cure. Nathaniel acted as his handler.

Despite The Wardens at Weisshaupt and how they felt about Rayne’s allegiance to a darkspawn, they were willing to give her aid to some extent. So long as they didn’t have to have direct contact with The Architect, which was where she and Nathaniel came into play. The Architect was Rayne’s responsibility, if he should prove dangerous or step out of his boundaries – say to awake _another_ Old God like he did before, starting the Fifth Blight – she was the one to deal with him, and no doubt the Wardens would deal with her. She idly wondered what they would do if they found out she no longer carried the corruption.

Would they cease all studies with The Architect? Rayne doubted it, even after her supposed death Nathaniel worked with the darkspawn. All Wardens were eager to find _something_ to help them. After hundreds of years of the same cycle, they were more than ready.

But what about her? Would they allow her to continue her search herself? They could argue that she had been looking for a decade, and still hadn’t produced anything and might give it to another.

As Rayne pulled out a piece of parchment she recalled her conversation with Fiona when she had gone to the ex-Warden to discuss just how she became cured of the taint. And how The Wardens had ostracized Fiona before finally sending her back to the Circle.

Would that happen to her? Granted, at the moment there were no Circles. But if Cassandra or – Andraste forbid, Vivienne – become Divine, they would be reinstated. What would happen then?

The sounds of Davia giggling drew up her eyes and she smiled.

Cole sat on the floor with his legs crossed, Davia resting in his lap as Aiden leaned over and played with his sister. Cole tilted his head back and forth as if in curiosity when she laughed, trying to grab for her brother’s hand.

Rayne’s smile faltered as her previous thoughts came back. If the Circles were reinstated and they were anything like they were before and she was sent back… **my children…** she thought in dismay. Her heart clenched at the thought of being wrenched from her children.

Dread fell on the light heart she had but moments before.

Cole turned just enough to look at her, feeling her pain.

She gave him a shaky smile and shook her head, indicating now was not the time.

His ice blue eyes studied her a moment before nodding and turning back to his playmates.

She took a deep breath to steady her hand before dipping her quill and starting her letter.

She was half-way through when someone knocked on her open door. She didn’t have to look up to know who it was, immediately recognizing his unique magical signature. “What can I help you with, Solas?”

He didn’t answer right away. Finally he entered the room. “I was hoping to speak with you.”

Rayne continued to scratch away at her letter unperturbed. “Well, speak then.”

Solas sighed, she could hear the hint of annoyance at her disregard. “I wanted to apologize.”

That paused her hand and she looked up. “Oh?”

He nodded and shifted slightly as he tried to form the words. “For my actions… for what I said about the Wardens. I was out of line.”

Rayne leaned back and just watched him.

“It was unworthy of me. And I am sorry.”

She frowned and shook her head. “No you’re not.”

Solas’ eyebrows rose. “I beg your pardon.”

Rayne sighed, not hiding her annoyance. “You’re not sorry about what you said. Your only here out of regard to the Inquisitor. Don’t apologize unless you mean it.” She frowned and sat back forward and began writing, a clear dismissal.

But he remained standing at the other side of her desk.

Rayne looked up briefly, “What?” She nearly snapped. “My patience has its limits. And the longer you are around the more that depletes.”

Solas’ eyes ticked to the three sitting on the floor.

She followed his gaze and found Aiden and Cole watching their exchange. “Speak, Solas.” She finally did snap. “I keep no secrets from my son, and I’m sure Cole already knows whatever is going on inside your head.”

The elf clasped his hands behind his back and turned back to her. “After your return from Denerim, you expressed interest in locating the spirit that guards over you in the Fade.”

Rayne cleaned her quill and put it aside. “You can’t just ever get to the point of something, can you?” She said dryly.

The edges of his lips dipped slightly, but he continued. “I offered my knowledge and aid. I was wondering, are you still interested?”

She leaned back and looked at him in confusion. “Seriously?”

He nodded.

“After everything? Me trying to choke the life out of you? You _still_ want to help me find this spirit?”

Solas smirked. “Tried. Didn’t succeed.”

Rayne gave him a pointed look. “Only because the Inquisitor showed up.”

He shrugged as if it didn’t matter.

“Why?” She finally asked.

“To help.”

“Don’t lie to me, Solas. It does you a discredit.”

He paused and then finally sighed, his body relaxing. “Because I am just as curious about this spirit as you are. I have never heard of a spirit doing what it is doing. Reaching through the Fade and aiding you in your time of need. Protecting you.”

Rayne pointed to Cole. “He did.”

Solas shook his head. “Cole physically came through from the Fade. He didn’t stay there and work from there. Even healing spirits have to be summoned by mages. What this spirit is doing… is unique.”

She raised her hand to him. “See, was that so hard just to be honest?”

He didn’t answer, only stared at her with his grey eyes.

She sighed. “Of course I want to know about this thing. I just figured that you wouldn’t want to.”

The barest hint of a smile came to his face. “Of course. Shall I make the preparations then?”

Rayne shrugged. “Okay.”

“Captain?” A new voice interrupted.

Solas and Rayne turned to the intruding messenger.

“Yes?”

The messenger stood at attention. “The Inquisitor seeks your presence in the Main Hall, Captain.”

Solas turned to Rayne and gave a slight bow. “It seems we both have work to do.”

She nodded to him and watched him go before turning to Aiden. “Will you watch her for me?”

“Of course.” Aiden nudged Cole to regain his attention. “We both will.”

Rayne smirked. “What am I going to do when you return to Denerim?” She said lightly as she stood.

“I _could_ just stay here.” Aiden mumbled.

“We’ve talked about this.”

He threw up his hands. “But with the snow getting down the Frostbacks will be difficult.”

“Difficult, but not impossible. Alec finds a way.” She said in amusement.

He looked down to the floor.

Rayne shook her head and went to her sulking son and knelt. “I just want you to be safe, Aiden.”

“I’m as safe here as I am in Denerim.”

“Maybe.” She amended. “But your father is there. And as I recall, he wanted to be with you.”

That caused him to pause and then sigh. “I’ve been there a year.”

“Captain?” The messenger tried to regain her attention that Alec wanted to see her.

She waved him away. “And just how many years has your father actually had with you in your now…” She thought a moment and chuckled. “Eleven years.”

That got a ghost of smile on Aiden’s face. “Two.” He sighed and looked up at her. “Two years out of eleven.”

She gave him a lopsided smile. “Is it really so terrible there with him?”

He shook his head. “Not with him, no. I just… I miss you.” He looked down at Davia. “And I’ll miss Vi now, too.” His nose wrinkled. “And I hate learning politics.”

Rayne laughed and kissed the side of his head before standing. “One of should know how to play the game. And I sure won’t be the one.”

Aiden smirked.

“Captain.” The messenger tried again.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m coming.”

Aiden contained a laugh as the messenger finally walked out.

“If she gets fussy, come and get me.” She said as she followed after.

Once she got to the hall she was surprised to find a small crowd waiting by the throne as if waiting from something. She had to maneuver her way around the gathering until she found Alec speaking with Josephine and had to suppress the bark of laughter that formed.

Their Inquisitor was in a form fitting black cloth attire with orange trim around the hem of his sleeves and the oversized hood on the matching overcoat. The overall design was with sharp edges that accented his form perfectly, showing off his physique that no doubt had many lady noble in the hall swooning – and possibly a few men. It was very… Tevinter.

Alec finally saw her and headed her direction.

“I see Dorian’s order for you came.” She said lightly, taking in his appearance as he drew closer. She couldn’t help but notice that his once short hair had grown considerably over the last few years. She usually didn’t notice due to the fact that he always had it pulled back in a ponytail. But today he opted to simply slick it back into a widows-peak style, falling below his shoulder blades. The entire look definitely made him look one of the Magisters of the Imperium.

Alec grinned and spun around causing the bottom of his coat to flare out. “Do you like it?”

Rayne nodded. “I think you look very regal. Someone in power, as you should.” Her eyes went to the crowd. “I just don’t think your Ferelden and Orlesian guests are as thrilled by your Tevinter style.”

He shrugged. “They managed to get over the Qunari décor, they’ll get over this. They need to realize that the Inquisition doesn’t discriminate.”

She smirked. “It helps that the clothing is fabulous.”

“Well, there is that.” He said in amusement.

“You asked to see me? I assume from something other than fashion.”

His smile fell and he ran a hand threw his hair, grimacing slightly.

“Something wrong?” She asked, tilting her head.

“Eh, just need a haircut. Dorian has been trying to convince me to keep the long hair but, Maker’s Breath, it’s driving me mad!”

“You asked me down here for a haircut?” She asked in confusion.

“What? No… wait… would you do that? Can you?”

“Alec.” She said lightly. “Why am I here?”

“Right. Sorry.” He shook his head. “I’m just having a hard time focusing.” He motioned around them. “I’m getting ready to see to some prisoners, as you can see the… nobles have all come for their blood.”

Rayne pursed her lips hiding her smile. “I was wondering about that. But you don’t need me for that.”

“I, well… I’m passing judgment on prisoners concerning the Grey Wardens.” He frowned. “I know Erimond is amongst them. And I just thought you would like to be here for them.”

That sobered her mood. She nodded heavily. “Of course.” She went to stand in the awaiting crowd, but he grabbed her arm.

Alec nodded to the throne. “Stand at my side?”

She raised an eyebrow.

He shrugged sheepishly. “Josephine and I thought it would be a good visual. To see the Inquisition standing firm with the Grey Wardens, despite what had happened. And since you are the highest ranking Warden here…”

Rayne hesitated at that. It felt wrong being the figure head of The Order here when she herself was no longer a Warden. But Alec didn’t know that yet. But he was right, until the Wardens at Weisshaupt said otherwise, she still was officially a Warden-Commander.

She finally nodded in agreement.

Alec gave her a relieved smile and led her up to the throne, holding onto her wrist as if he were afraid that she would run if he let her go. He took his seat on the throne, adjusting himself until he was comfortable.

Rayne stood to his left on the step just below, treating him as a monarch. Not being higher than the head of the one on the throne, making sure to avoid the Qunari statue.

Josephine nodded to a guard that stood waiting and came to the right of the throne, making sure to not hinder the view of Alec in his seat of power as the guard went for the first prisoner.

They were quick to bring in Erimond who stumbled up the hall, being held by two guards with his hands tied.

“Adamant’s influence continues, Your Worship.” Josephine began, putting on a show for those gathered. “I submit Lord Livius Erimond of Vyrantium, who remains loyal to Corypheus.” She turned to the prisoner. “We found him alive, offering extreme resistance, likely because the Order will ask for his head. In more… colorful terms.”

Rayne smirked at that.

“To say nothing of justice you might personally require for what was suffered in the Fade.”

Alec sat back in his throne, steepling his fingers as he looked down on the Magister with a hard frown on his face. “I’m struggling to understand how judging you can make up for anything that happened.”

Erimond curled his lip and took a step forward, unintimidated by Alec or the guards whose hands went to their weapons. “I recognize none of this proceeding. You have no authority to judge me.”

Josephine looked over her board of papers. “On the contrary, many have communicated that they will defer to the Inquisitor on this matter.”

“Because they fear.” Erimond spat. “Not _just_ Corypheus, but Tevinter, rightful ruler of every piece of ground you’ve trod in your pathetic life.” He stood straight, his head held high. “I served a living god. Bring down your blades and free me from the physical. Glory awaits me.”

Rayne suppressed the urge to roll her eyes at his delusions.

Alec hung his head, looking at his prisoner with hooded eyes while his two index fingers tapped together in thought. Rayne could practically see the wheels in his mind working as he came to a decision.

He finally spoke. “Although willing, there is a group you have wronged more than most.” He declared, his voice carrying to the back of the hall. “Lord Livius Erimond of Vyrantium, the Wardens can have you. Let them take your head, if they want it.”

“Their petty justice or yours, it matters not.” Erimond said unperturbed. “Truth lies in the next world.”

Alec looked to her.

“Take him to the Warden-Constable.” She said to the guards.

They nodded and grabbed the Magister, practically carrying him out of the room.

Rayne silently thought about the idea of putting him through the Joining. If he should die, it would be painful. Perhaps she would suggest it to the Constable later. She shifted as Erimond was taken out and another prisoner was brought in.

This one was handled more delicately than her predecessor. Rayne was shocked to see the prisoner in Grey Warden armor.

She looked at Alec in question.

He simply shrugged. He didn’t know either.

Josephine sighed. “Another of the lingering pains of Adamant, Your Worship. Ser Ruth is a Senior Warden of the Order.”

The Warden in question was a middle-aged woman with brown shoulder length hair that fell in front of her face as she hung her head in shame, she could barely look up at the Inquisitor.

“She was one of the many who slit the throat of another to bind a demon. She does not contest this.” Josephine continued. “In fact, she surrendered to us. She requests no mercy. She wants the public justice of the headman’s axe.”

Both Rayne and Alec stiffened at that.

Alec sat forward, trying to gain her attention. “You’re very serious about this. Is more death the answer?”

Ser Ruth finally, slowly, raised her head. What Rayne saw was pain, guilt and remorse. “There is no excuse for my actions. I murdered another of the Order. That blood marks me more than the Blight ever could.”

Rayne diverted her eyes, unable to look at the Warden. She knew that feeling well.

“Excepting their actions while in thralls of Corypheus,” Josephine stated. “Many treaties allow Wardens any extreme, if it opposes the Blight.”

 **That doesn’t make the guilt go away.** Rayne thought heavily drawing her gaze back to the proceedings, finding Alec watching her before turning back himself.

Ser Ruth vehemently shook her head. “I can’t do it! I can’t use the greater good to justify my crimes, as if it would create a future I could be a part of!” Her shoulders slumped. “It is wrong that this broke me. I’ve done worse with full sanction. I can do nothing, except be an example of the cost.”

Alec looked to Rayne. “Warden-Commander, do you have anything to say on this matter?”

Ser Ruth looked to her, her pleading eyes boring into her.

Rayne looked to the floor. “We Wardens carry a heavy burden. Most will never understand just how heavy it is.” She said. “We have to make the hard choices, but that doesn’t make it any easier to bear. Any easier to look at the blood on our hands.” She looked up. “I understand your guilt, Ser Ruth. I have felt it. I still feel it. I cannot tell you how to feel, or what you feel should be done… But you must remember that what you did, you did in the hopes of making things better. To save the lives of those who were not of our calling. Your fellow… he understood that.”

Ser Ruth hung her head, but didn’t say anything else.

Alec drummed his fingers against the armrest of his throne before leaning forward. “You feel your life is over?” He said heavily. “There’s a place for such Wardens. Ser Ruth, you’ll go to the Deep Roads. Your death may be as quick as you choose.”

Rayne’s heart felt heavy in her chest, but in the end knew this was the right choice.

Ser Ruth looked up in surprise. “This sends no message. This is just… an end.”

Which was the point. Alec wanted to remain steadfast in his allegiance with the Wardens. But he also knew the guilt she bore, and wanted to give her some semblance of what she wanted.

Alec nodded to the guards. “Take her back to the cells until we can secure her safe passage to the Deep Roads.”

Rayne sighed heavily and was about to depart.

“There is one more.” Alec whispered.

“Another Warden?” She asked just as low.

He shook his head. “No. Mayor Dedrick.”

Rayne frowned. “The mayor of Crestwood? Why must I…”

“Because his crime was committed due to the acts of the Blight.” He looked her squarely in the eye. “Of those here, I would think you of all people would understand his actions.”

That stopped her cold, because he was right. She retook her position.

Alec nodded to Josephine to continue as the mayor was brought in.

“Mayor Gregory Dedrick of Crestwood is present for betraying his own constituents. He confesses that ten years ago, he flooded Old Crestwood to kill refugees and villagers touched by the blight.” Josephine paused as the mayor stopped at the base of the dais. “The mayor claims it was to spare the rest of Crestwood, but we only have his word.”

Rayne saw the mayor slightly flinch at the accusation that he had done it for other reasons. If his demeanor was any indicator, Rayne believed his claims.

“If the mayor has anything in his defense, let him speak.” Alec said.

“There’s no cure for the blight,” the mayor stated. “But I couldn’t convince anyone to leave a sick child or husband behind.”

“So you herded the infected into one place and flooded Old Crestwood?” Josephine accused with obvious displeasure. “Were no innocents caught in the waters?”

Rayne frowned at their ambassador because she knew that Josephine would never understand. When the Blight ravaged the land and people of Ferelden, Josephine was in another country, safe and blind. She still had yet to see what blight could do to a person.

Pain filled the mayor’s next words. “Nearly everyone in the village had the blight, I swear it! Have mercy. I couldn’t tell the survivors I’d drowned their own families to save them. I—I couldn’t.”

Alec pressed his fingers to his lips. “Warden-Commander, you seem to have something to say on this matter?”

Rayne raised an eyebrow at him and then turned to the mayor. “Only that I know perfectly well what his intentions were. He did it to save people. And he’s right, other than becoming a Grey Warden, this is no cure for the blight. And even that… it really isn’t a cure.” Her eyes went to Josephine and glared. “I’ve been where he is, I’ve done what he’s done.”

Josephine met her glare. “Oh? You have drowned an entire village under the pretense of saving others?”

“No.” She said, gaining a triumphant smile for the ambassador. “I put an entire city to the torch. You forget Ambassador, I was the one that ordered the City of Amaranthine to be burned to the ground with its citizens still inside. Because of the horde that had gotten into its walls, killing and infecting.”

Josephine slightly paled at that.

“And I will admit,” Rayne said more softly. “There were no doubt those how hadn’t been infected when I made that order. But I made it. I live with that guilt every single day.” She looked at the mayor. “As no doubt Mayor Dedrick does for what he did. Grey Wardens themselves are known for burning villages to the ground in order to keep it from darkspawn, I see this as no different.”

“But there is the problem, he is no Grey Warden.” Alec said to end the argument. “Mayor Dedrick… The Blight was your undoing. Let it also be your means of redemption. I give you to our allies in the Grey Wardens, to fight darkspawn until the Calling takes you.”

The mayor looked shocked but nodded. “I don’t deserve the honor, Your Worship. But I’ll do my best.”

“Take him to the Warden-Constable.” Rayne said.

* * *

 

Before Rayne could go back to her other duties, Alec stopped her.

“Wait, have you seen Blackwall?” He asked.

She frowned. “No? I haven’t seen him since…” She thought a moment. “You know, I haven’t seen him since giving birth to Davia, so two weeks.” She had been so caught up in healing, taking care of the new baby and now catching up on her other duties that she didn’t realize she hadn’t seen him in so long.

Alec face turned to one of worry. “I had asked him to be here for the proceedings. I thought he would have liked to have been here for them. Also to maybe… put his mind at ease.”

“What do you mean?”

He worried at his lower lip. “Last night… he had been… depressed, I guess is the only word that fits it. He asked me to the tavern and was talking about his past, a dog and just wasn’t making much sense really.” He shrugged helplessly. “And then not seeing him today…”

Rayne thought back to the last time she saw him and had to agree, Blackwall had seemed off for a while. Keeping more and more to himself. “Come on.” She started heading for the door.

“You need a coat!” Alec yelled after her, but followed.

She frowned and found Varric at his usual table. “Varric, mind if I borrow your coat briefly?”

The dwarf looked at her quizzically, but shrugged and leapt up to retrieve it. “It will be small.”

Rayne chuckled. “Please, with your wide chest it will do its work of keeping my upper body warm.”

And it did. It covered most of her arms and chest, just not falling very low. She prayed Cullen wouldn’t see her traipsing outside in the cold and snow like she was, or else she would never hear the end of it. But she only needed the protection long enough to get to the stables where Blackwall kept a fire always burning for himself and the mounts.

But when she and Alec arrived they were both shocked to find the fire pit cold and Blackwall nowhere in sight.

“Blackwall!” Alec called going further into the stables.

Rayne followed behind, eyes scanning everything and finally falling on his work station that had the rocking griffon unfinished on the table with all his tools strung about. “Alec.” She called gaining his attention as she took the piece of parchment off the toy that had been stuck there.

She didn’t even read it, instead she immediately handed it to Alec who quickly read.

His eyes widened. “He’s…. he’s gone.”


	118. Trevelyan

Luckily for them, they were able to figure out quickly just where Blackwall had gone.

Val Royeaux. Something having to do with the execution of a man.

Alec didn’t know what to do. He only knew that Blackwall had no intention of coming back to the Inquisition, judging by his letter. But Alec wanted answers. He needed to know what was going on.

Not knowing what to expect, and wanting her there with him, Alec asked Rayne to go with him. Which meant of course, baby Davia coming as well. And Cullen, being the over-protective father and husband, asked to come along too.

They arrived just in time to find the accused man walking up the gallows to hang.

“Who is this man to Blackwall?” Rayne asked as she bundled Davia more in her blanket and in Rayne’s heavy coat.

Cullen had an arm wrapped around her shoulders. “Where _is_ Blackwall, is what I want to know.”

Alec eyed his Commander who had a scowl on his face most the journey. Cullen didn’t like the fact of bringing his newborn daughter out in the cold winter.

He looked to Davia and smiled as she tried forcing her hands out of the secured blanket, making cooing noises. Alec had come to the conclusion on the trip that she most definitely was full of Fereldan blood. She was unhindered by the cold and didn’t seemed put out by the journey. He looked over her parents, **Yeah, she’s going to grow up resilient.** He thought to himself in amusement. **And possibly a little scary.**

He turned back to the gallows as the charges were being read off. “Where is Blackwall?” He grumbled.

“Stop!” Was their answer.

They all watched in confusion as Blackwall climbed the gallows to overlook the crowd.

“A Grey Warden.” The hangman said with obvious distaste, which was the only indicator since he was wearing a customary mask that covered his whole face.

“This man is innocent of the crimes laid before him.” Blackwall said loud enough for all to hear. “Orders were given, and he followed them like any good soldier. He should not die for that mistake!”

The hangman approached him. “Then find me the man who gave the order.”

Blackwall hesitated and looked away.

Alec pushed through the crowd. “Blackwall!”

The Grey Warden looked down at him, his grey eyes filled with guilt. “No. I am not Blackwall. I never was Blackwall.”

Alec looked up at him in confusion and Rayne came to his side.

“Warden Blackwall is dead, and has been for years. I assumed his name to hide, like a coward, from who I really am.”

“You,” the prisoner – Mornay, said in disbelief with the noose still around his neck. “After all this time…”

Blackwall turned to him. “It’s over. I’m done hiding.”

Alec watched with a feeling of dread as the man that he had called friend for two years turned to the crowd and raised his head high, but did not look back at Alec or Rayne.

“I gave the order. The crime is mine.” He paused. “I am Thom Rainier.”

A collective gasp went through the crowd. Whoever Rainier was, was someone that was known through Orlais. But for Alec, it was just a name. A name that his friend now claimed, and was being led away because of it.

Alec looked to Rayne in shock.

The Warden tilted her head. “Well… that actually explains a lot.”

“Seriously?” He said.

She shrugged. “What?” 

* * *

 

He rubbed his neck, trying to relieve the knots forming from stress. He couldn’t wait to get back to Skyhold, maybe he could convince Dorian to give him a massage.

Rayne was rocking Davia in her arms as Cullen was looking over reports. Rayne looked up when she saw him come up from the jail cells.

Cullen turned to him and lifted the report in his hands. “I have Leliana’s report on Thom Rainier.”

Alec fell heavily into one of the wooden chairs. “Give me the overview.” He said in a weary voice.

The Commander looked at him in worry, but nodded. “Looks like our friend was once a respected captain in the Imperial Orlesian Army. Before the civil war, he was turned, persuaded to assassinate one of Celene’s biggest supporters. He led a group of fiercely loyal men on this mission, and told them nothing of it.” Cullen scowled. “His men took the fall for him. A few lucky ones, like Mornay, managed to escape.”

Alec leaned his head back and rubbed his temples at the headache he felt forming from this mess. “Let me guess. Our spymaster had this lying around somewhere, didn’t she?” He tried to control the accusation in his voice.

“It would have been difficult for anyone to connect Blackwall to Rainier.” Rayne said. “Even Leliana has something of a blind spot when it comes to Wardens.” She said lightly.

He frowned at her. “And you.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Me?”

“Aren’t Wardens supposed to be able to ‘sense’ each other? Isn’t that what you told me?”

“Yes, but I also have been forcing out the song of Old Gods for years. Which, I would like to point out, is what we sense in one another. If I was ignoring that, do you honestly think I would have sensed it in Blackwall even if he _was_ a Grey Warden? And the other Wardens were fighting a false Calling, you’re lucky they had the state of mind to do have a coherent thought let alone sense another Warden.”

Alec sighed. “You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s just been… a long day.”

Cullen sighed. “What do we do now?”

None of them had an answer.

But his Commander was the first one to shake off the melancholy. “Black… Rainier has accepted his fate, but you don’t have to. We have resources. If he’s released to us, you may pass judgment on him yourself.”

Alec didn’t like the idea of passing judgment on a friend, no matter who they were. But he knew he would be more lenient than what the Orlesian government would be. “If it were up to you, what would happen?” He asked.

Cullen frowned, his anger for the situation coming out. “What he did to the men under his command was unacceptable. He betrayed their trust, betrayed ours. I despise him for it.” He growled.

And that’s when Alec realized this hit close to home for his Commander. Knight-Commander Meredith had been the same in the end with those under her command, Cullen included.

But Cullen softened. “And yet he fought as a Warden, joined the Inquisition. Gave his blood for our cause. And the moment he shakes off his past, he turns around and owns up to it.” He shrugged. “Why?”

Alec gave him a lopsided smile. “Some part of you is impressed by what he did, isn’t it?”

“Saving Mornay the way he did took courage. I’ll give him that.” Cullen admitted. “But I can’t tell you what to do.”

Alec mulled over everything and then rose. “Have Rainier released to us.”

Cullen nodded. “We must move quickly.”

Alec turned to Rayne. “Can you invoke the Rite of Conscription to get him?”

Her eyebrows rose in surprise. “I could. But then he wouldn’t be under your custody, he would be under the Grey Wardens and would be subjected to the Joining as soon as possible.” She paused. “And we all know how that can potentially end, and right now it would be a shame to loose someone of Blackwall’s caliber. I would prefer to avoid that option, if possible.”

“You keep calling him Blackwall.” Alec said dryly.

She shrugged. “I’ll probably always call him Blackwall. Thom Rainier sounds like an asshole.”

“We can explore our options back at Skyhold.” Cullen cut in with laughter lacing his words.


	119. Amell

“The stories of you going to the Deep Roads, they’re true, right?” Alec asked.

Rayne clipped away more of his hair. He had asked her for a haircut before he and his group left for Frostback Basin in the south. Something about looking for evidence of the last Inquisitor from three-hundred years ago, or something. “Unfortunately.”

“Not all that great, I take it?” He asked in amusement.

“Well, let’s see.” She said lightly as she moved hair. “Cramped, long, winding maze of tunnels that stretch across all of Thedas. Teeming with spiders as big as you are, deepcrawlers, dragons and crazy dwarves. Oh, and lest we forget, darkspawn.”

“One would think that the Deep Roads would be relatively empty of darkspawn during a Blight.”

She sighed. “Unfortunately, the Roads are a vast network which is why Grey Wardens can never fully eliminate them. There will never _not_ be darkspawn swarming down there, broodmothers spawning more and more of them.”

“Broodmother?” Alec asked and turned his head.

Rayne turned his head back. “Hold still.” She chastised. “Be happy you haven’t come across a broodmother, and pray you never do. They’re monstrosities that give birth to the darkspawn.”

“ _All_ darkspawn?” He asked in surprise turning his head again.

She frowned and turned it back. “I said, hold still. Dorian would never forgive me if I destroyed your hair and was forced to shave your head. And yes, all darkspawn.” She remained quiet a few moments clipping away at hair. “Not all broodmothers are the same, so they give birth to different darkspawn. Depending on what they were before.”

“What do you mean? What they were before?”

“Broodmothers… they’re not born. They’re created.”

Alec nearly turned his head again, but apparently thought better of it. “You, uh, wanna run that by me again?”

“Do you know what happens to those that are tainted by the blight?”

“They… die?” He said, not entirely sure now.

Rayne smiled bitterly, one that he couldn’t see. “Typically. But some… there is a worse fate. They become darkspawn themselves, we call them Ghouls. Animals and people can all fall prey to that. Animals we just call something different. Bereskarn for a blighted bear, blight wolves, bloodcrows and so on.”

“And the blighted people, the Ghouls,” Alec said slowly. “They become broodmothers.”

“No,” she said softly. “Only women. The darkspawn, despite their lack of intelligence, waste nothing. Most of it becoming food. But female ghouls…” she felt the familiar bile rise at the thought. “They are force-fed on darkspawn tissue which gives them cannibalistic urges and mutates them.

“What they were before determines what they give birth to. Elves, shrieks; dwarves, genlocks; humans, hurlocks; Qunari, ogres.”

Alec was quiet for a time as he drank all this new information in before he spoke again. “Rayne… female Grey Wardens… do they…”

“They can, if the taint in them progresses far enough before they can find death.” She could practically hear his thoughts around this, and what it possibly meant for her as a Warden. Even knowing his concern, she held her tongue.

“So, Wardens are basically Ghouls?” He asked.

She chuckled humorlessly. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Have you ever come across a broodmother yourself?”

“More than my fair share.” She replied remembering. “Two that I actually fought. And then a nest that we destroyed with a cave in. Grotesque creatures. Why are you asking about all this? What brought this on?”

“I used to always go to Blackwall when wanting to know more about the Wardens. And he was always so dodgy… well, now I know why.” He mumbled the last words.

Rayne smirked. “And you never came to me… because?”

“I… I could tell that it bothered you to talk about it.” He said softly.

She mulled over his words and shrugged. “It’s not so much that it bothers me. It just… it opens up a lot of memories. Good, bad; sad and happy.”

“But the darkspawn isn’t what I wanted to ask about originally.”

“Of course not.” She said with mirth. **A mage’s desire for knowledge is never sated.**

“Did you come across the Legion of the Dead?” Alec asked.

She raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

He shrugged. “I just started reading a tome about them. And I was curious.”

“I did. I came across a group led by a dwarf, Khardol. An honorable bunch. Managed to convince them to come to the surface to help fight against the Blight. Which is no easy feat, mind you.”

“But, don’t they dedicate their lives to fighting darkspawn? Wouldn’t they want to help against the Blight?”

Rayne laughed. “One would think. A Legionnaire dedicates his life to fighting darkspawn that threaten Orzammar on a daily basis. Think of it as their way of clearing debts, restoring honor to their house. That sort of thing. But a dwarf, a true born Orzammar dwarf will always choose to stay below ground. Old superstition.”

“But King Bhelen sent a dwarven army to help?”

“Yes, but only because of the ancient Grey Warden treaties and for putting him on that throne.” She put down the scissors. “Almost done. But first…”

She went to her shelf and grabbed her sketchbook. “I also met a Legionnaire after we killed the archdemon, during my time in Amaranthine.” She flipped through the pages. A smile burst on her face as she found the picture she was looking for. “Her name was Sigrun.”

She handed the book to Alec who took it and smirked. “She seems awfully… cheerful for one that is part of a group with such a dreary name.”

Rayne laughed and looked down at the picture of the young looking dwarven woman with casteless facial tattoos with bright eyes and an infectious smile. “Aye, something we always picked on her about.” She went to pick up her straight razor.

“What happened to her?”

“Honestly?  I don’t know.” She said sadly as he flipped through more pictures, coming across Velanna and Oghren. “Of those that I recruited then, I only know about Nathaniel and Anders. And Justice.”

Just as she mentioned the other mage’s name, Alec turned to his picture. “He looks so…”

“Different?” She offered.

“Happy.”

She smiled sadly and went back to her position behind him. “He was. His merger with Justice, it changed him a lot.”

“What was he like, back then, I mean?”

Rayne didn’t answer right away, she began to add a bit of lather to where she needed it. “Anders… he was a gentle soul, in a way he still is. He was always quick with a smile and a flirt. Every so often I would see the old Anders come through, but…” She paused. “What are you going to do with him?”

Alec sighed heavily. “Honestly? I don’t know.”

“You can’t keep him in the cells forever.” She quipped.

“Sure I can.”

She shook her head and started shaving the sides of his head. “What do you _want_ to do?”

He thought over the question. “What I _want_ is him to have never shown up here, to put me in this position.”

“Why is his trial so much different than anyone else’s?” She asked.

“What he did… it was terrible. There had to be a better way than killing innocent people. We’re not even going to take into consideration that most of them were part of the Chantry. They were people, first and foremost.” He paused and tapped the page of Anders. “But… I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem right for me to be the one to cast judgment on him. And also… he saved _you.”_

“One life doesn’t clear away all the blood of the others.” Rayne said solemnly.

“I know.”

They were both silent for the short remainder of the haircut.

“There.” She finally proclaimed. “Let’s just get you cleaned up. Over to the basin.”

Alec complied and they worked soap and oils into his hair.

Rayne held up a mirror. “What do you think?”

He studied his new appearance.

She knew how much he liked the undercut look, so had gone with a cut that was close to the first style she had seen him in. Except the top was longer, falling to the base of his skull and slicked back in the widow’s peak he had been sporting before.

Alec ran his hands through and smiled. “Long enough to appease Dorian while keeping it off my neck.” He looked up at her. “Thank you.”

She gave him a lopsided smile. “Anytime.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” He joked.

Rayne set out to start cleaning up. “When do you leave for the Basin?”

“Not for a few days.” He said helping her. “Have to either wait for the snow and ice to melt enough to travel safely or will have to clear it out ourselves.”

“Are you going to stick around for Satinalia?”

He looked up in surprise. “Is that happening already?”

She looked at him in amusement. “Happens every year at this time.”

“I haven’t gotten anything for Dorian!” He said in panic.

She nodded to the door. “Go on. I got this.”

Alec didn’t fight her. He rushed for the door. “Thank you again, Rayne!”


	120. Cullen/Amell

He exhaled in relief as he finally closed the door to Davia’s room, leaving it only open a crack to hear her should she wake up.

Cullen turned to the bed and watched Rayne look over some papers. “She was stubborn tonight.”

She smiled in amusement. “Can’t imagine where she gets that.”

“Me either.” He said lightly and joined her on the bed, spreading across until his head fell on her lap. Forcing her to lift away her papers.

“Comfy?” She asked looking down at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I am.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m trying to get through these so we can go to sleep without me tossing and turning all night.”

He shrugged. “Don’t let me stop you.” He closed his eyes and shifted slightly to get more comfortable.

He felt her quiet chuckle before she returned to her task.

Shortly after, Cullen had nearly fallen asleep when the sounds of her humming briefly pulled him out of the tendrils of the awaiting Fade. He felt the corners of his lips tug in a smile as he listened and was about to drift back to sleep, when he noted that she was humming a different tune than usual.

He opened his eyes watching her read a parchment, unaware that he was watching her. “What are you humming?”

Rayne sharply cut off and looked down at him. “I thought you were asleep.”

“Not quite. It was a new song.”

Her cheeks turned a light shade of pink of embarrassment. “I, uh… it’s something I’ve been working on.”

His eyebrows rose in surprise. “You’re working on? Meaning: you’re writing it yourself?”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t realize you wrote your own songs.”

“I…” she diverted her gaze. “It’s not something I’ve done often.”

“And what is this one about?” He asked, thinking that it was something for their daughter.

Rayne’s cheeks burned darker. “Um… you?” She said hesitantly.

“M-me?”

She nodded in awkwardness.

Cullen wasn’t quite sure he should be thrilled or wary about what she had come up with. “Do… I get to hear it?”

She looked at him in shock. “Do you… want to?”

“Of course.” He said, shifting more onto his side. “I can’t help but wonder.”

She worried at her lower lip and finally sighed, setting down her paper. “Keep in mind: it’s a work in process. And I don’t have an instrument.”

“Noted.” He said casually.

Rayne took a deep breath and tilted her head back and forth a few times before beginning. It was slow and almost melancholy.

 

_Haunted by your past_  
_those that came before_  
_Nightmares rule your night_  
_fear they come once more_  
  
_Chased by memories_  
_figures in the dark_  
_Clawing through your mind_  
_they have left their mark_  
  
_Oh lion, my lion your deafening roar_  
_Will again be as loud as it once was before_  
_We fight through the nightmares, the shades and the Fade_  
_Til the war has been won and the tides have been swayed_

Cullen sat up, one arm braced over her to lean across her. She smiled shyly and cupped his face, tracing a thumb over his cheek, under his eyes.

 

_Sword and shield in hand_  
_not a soul can see_  
_Behind those amber eyes_  
_lies a silent plea_  
  
_Suffering in silence_  
_the burden you must bare_  
_Getting lost_  
_in the depths of your despair_  
  
_Oh lion, my lion your deafening roar_  
_Will again be as loud as it once was before_  
_We fight through the nightmares, the shades and the Fade_  
_Til the war has been won and the tides have been swayed_  
  
_Lay your past to sleep_  
_let the fear subside_  
_No matter how lost you are_  
_You don't have to hide_  
  
_The Templar on his knees_  
_fighting to be free_  
_Rise anew to be the man_  
_you were meant to be_  
  
_Oh lion, my lion your deafening roar_  
_Will again be as loud as it once was before_  
_We fight through the nightmares, the shades and the Fade_  
_Til the war has been won and the tides have been swayed_

_Til the war has been won and the tides have been swayed._

Cullen covered her hand still on his face and turned into it, kissing her palm. “Thank you.” He said hoarsely. He was at a loss for any other words.

The words tugged at his heart and soul, not because of what they were – not precisely. It was the fact that this woman, this amazing… brilliant as any star in his life that brought him so much; that she knew him. Truly _knew_ him and everything he goes through. And how she would be by his side to help him through it all.

“I’m sorry.” She said. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

He smiled into her hand and shook his head before removing himself. “You didn’t. You give me hope that I may just make it out of this is one piece.”

Rayne leaned forward and gently kissed his lips. “Of course you will.”

He brought his free hand to her face, his thumb traced the outline of her jaw before bringing his lips to hers.

The kiss was long and intimate. Two souls conveying just how much they meant to the other.

When he finally broke for air he studied her face. **How did I ever go my life without her in it?** He asked himself and kissed her again.

This one more hungry, pressing his tongue to her lips until they willingly parted for him to allow it entry into her warm mouth eliciting a soft moan that he eagerly swallowed.

His hand that had been holding her face traveled down her neck, feather light, causing goosebumps to form under his fingers. He continued his trail down her shoulder and arm, jumping midway to her side to her hip until he found the hem of her shirt.

But when she felt his fingers try to slip underneath the fabric, Rayne caught his hand and pulled her face away from his. “Cullen…” She said in a soft rebuttal.

Before he could say or do anything, she moved his arm that was still around her allowing her to slip out of his embrace and out of the bed away from him.

Confusion and hurt burned in his chest. “Rayne… I wasn’t going to… I know your still healing. I just wanted…” All he wanted to do was feel her skin against his.

He missed the feel of her warm skin that was soft as rose petals pressed against his body at night, nothing between them. Flesh pressed to flesh. The ability to kiss her naked shoulder as she slept in his arms.

He missed the contact.

“Thanks to healing sessions, I’m actually fully healed.” She revealed, unable to look at him.

His confusion grew. “Then… did I do something?”

Rayne finally looked at him, her eyes wide in surprise. “Of course not!”

“Then what is it?” He couldn’t _not_ know any longer. This had been going on for months.

She lowered her gaze, her face scrunched in pain as she wrapped her arms around herself. “I…” Her eyes pinched closed, as if she could just will this conversation away. “I don’t feel worthy of you.”

Cullen shook his head as if he heard wrong. But he knew he didn’t. “What do you mean?”

She opened her eyes, filled with pain. “Have you _looked_ at me?”

An eyebrow rose, he had thought this would eliminate his confusion, not add more to it. “Uh… every chance I get, truth be told.”

Rayne frowned. “Then you haven’t really been looking.”

Unable to form words his eyes went over her, “Rayne… Love, I don’t see anything wrong.” He was startled to find her eyes bright with tears rimming the edges. He immediately got out of bed and went to her. He gently grabbed her elbows since she still had her arms around her like a barrier. “What’s wrong? Talk to me.”

“I’m hideous.” She finally croaked out.

Of all the things he thought she was going to say. That was not one of them. “What?”

She shook her head and turned away from him.

Cullen was at a loss. He ran a hand through his hair and looked her over, trying to see what she saw. But all he saw was perfection.

And then he recalled their conversation from early in her pregnancy. How big she was going to get and how much she hated it.

Now, she had given birth and he knew that underneath the clothing she wouldn’t allow him to see under, was a body that he saw as nothing but amazing, she saw as stretched skin and weight gain. No longer the body she once had.

His body relaxed. He wrapped his arms around her middle, gently pulling her as close as possible to him. “Ah, Love…” He said softly into her hair. “Give yourself time.”

When her body remained rigid he nuzzled her face into her neck. “But do you want to know a secret?” He whispered.

Rayne barely turned her head to him. “What’s that?”

Cullen tightened his hold. “I love you for more than your beauty. It is an enjoyable side benefit.” He smiled softly and kissed her neck. “But that’s not the secret.”

He heard her softly exhale, her body finally relaxing. “And what is?”

“I still think you’re beautiful.” He paused. “I’ll think you’re beautiful and sexy til the end of our days, even when we’re both old and grey and were both covered in wrinkles.” He blew air onto her neck tickling her.

Rayne rubbed her neck where he tickled her. She sighed and placed her hands over his. “I know.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Rayne.” He laid his head on her shoulder. “I’ll be here, when you’re ready.”

* * *

* * *

 

 

 

She sat up to look down at him as he watched her with hooded eyes.

His hands gripping her hips as she rolled them against him, straddling his naked body. His hard cock sliding in and out. Her breasts bouncing.

Rayne whimpered as she felt herself getting closer. She was about to go over the edge…

Someone clearing their voice made her blood turn cold and her close orgasm evaporated as she and Cullen were caught.

She whipped her head around and found Solas standing nearby, his eyes diverted skyward but his cheek were rosy indicating he had seen and heard them perfectly.

“Solas!” She practically shrieked and grabbed a shirt nearby and covered her exposed bosom.

Cullen looked over surprised by their intruder.

“What are… How did…” Rayne couldn’t even formulate words she was so mortified. What was he even _doing_ here? Shouldn’t he be at Skyhold? What was he doing in South Reach?

“Warden.” Solas said as way of greeting, still not looking down.

“What are you doing here?” She finally managed to ask.

He was about to bring down his eyes and then remembered what she and Cullen had been doing. He coughed awkwardly. “I, uh… we discussed a spirit hunt as a recall?”

Rayne looked at him in confusion. Spirit hunt? Her foggy memories started to become clearer. Yes, they were going to go look for the spirit that had been aiding her… from the Fade.

She looked around finally realizing that was where they were. This was a memory from her and Cullen’s time in the meadow in South Reach.

“Rayne?” Dream-Cullen said below her. “What’s going on?”

Her mortification didn’t abate knowing this was just a dream. Solas had walked in on a private moment, a private memory.

“That’s what I would like to know.” She growled. She finally slipped off of dream-Cullen. “You could have informed me that you were planning on doing this _tonight_ so I could have been… prepared.” **And not in a sex dream with my husband,** is what she wanted to say.

Solas closed his eyes. “My apologies. I didn’t consider that you would… well.” He cleared his throat.

Cullen sat himself up and looked at her in confusion. “Rayne?”

She sighed and bent down to him and kissed his lips. “I’ll see you soon, _vhenan.”_

His confused face blurred away becoming mist.

The entire scene of the meadow around her did likewise, as well as the shirt she had been holding against her. As the shirt evaporated armor began covering her body. It didn’t take long for the beautiful meadow to change into the green misted Fade that she remembered.

Rayne turned to Solas and found him still looking away. **At least he had the decency to keep his eyes averted until I give him the clear.** She thought sourly. “You’re safe now.”

He exhaled a sigh of relief before meeting her gaze. “Again, you have my sincerest apologizes.”

“Just don’t mention this.” She turned to look around the area. “Ever.”

“What are you wearing?” He asked.

“Hmm?” She looked down and found herself in armor that she hadn’t worn since the Blight.

It looked like strips of blue and grey leather put together on the top that was enough to cover her breasts but only a quarter of her abdomen – her abdomen that was flat and muscled, and grey gloves covering her hands and arms up to her elbows. The pants were like-wise, one leg covered completely whereas the other was only covered up to the knee by the knee-high boots she wore. A dark brown belt hung loosely around her hips with the polished silver crest of the Wardens as the buckle.

“My Warden armor.” She said in surprise.

“That’s not like any Warden armor I’ve ever seen.” Solas commented.

“Nor would you.” She said meeting his eyes. “This was crafted specifically for me.” She smirked. “I’m anything but conventional.”

He chuckled. “So I’ve noticed.”

Heat went to her cheeks as she recalled the position she had been in the dream. She took a deep breath and clapped her hands. “Alright, where do we start?”

Solas shrugged.

She glared at him. “Wait, you wanted to do this and you don’t know _where_ to start this search?” She snapped. “How did you find it before?”

“Through the aid of another spirit, actually. But the spirit that held you had been excepting us. This time, it does not want to be found.”

Rayne threw her hands into the air. “Terrific. So what do we do?”

“We look at memories.” He said, clasping his hands behind his back. “Encounters with spirits you’ve had.”

She looked at him a little dumbfounded until she realized he was being sincere. “Seriously?”

He shrugged. “I hypothesize that you must have come into contact with this spirit at some point without even realizing it. What better way than being in the Fade when it happened or encountering another spirit? The… dragon took interest in you at some point.”

She tilted her head in thought and then shrugged. “Makes about as much sense…” She turned and swallowed down the scream of surprise at the back of her throat.

Behind her had been a spirit… one that looked oddly familiar.

Rayne narrowed her eyes. “Valor?”

The spirit that took on the appearance of a Templar whose face was covered by a helm tilted its head up in greeting. “Ah, you remember.”

“The fact that you do is what is surprising. What are you doing here?”

“As I did before, years ago, I’m here to offer aid.”

She brightened. “Do you know where the spirit we’re looking for is?”

Valor shook its head. “Only that it will appear when ready.”

Her hopes deflated. “Terrific.” She said dryly.

“You’ve taken on a different appearance, Valor.” Solas commented.

“It is the one she knows.”

Rayne nodded to Valor. “Well, you wanted my encounters with spirits and the Fade. Meet the first spirit I encountered during my first visit to the Fade.”

Solas’ eyebrows rose in surprise.

“Technically, I wasn’t your first.” Valor corrected.

She frowned in thought and then realized what he was talking about. “Ah, yes… Mouse.”

“A… mouse?” Solas asked.

“Not _a_ mouse. Just Mouse. Like a name.”

The elf hummed in thought and then shrugged. “Then that is where we start.”

“That far back?” Rayne asked.

“Do you have a better plan?”

“No,” she mumbled. “But I was hoping you would actually have one.” She sighed and rubbed a hand down her face. “Alright let’s start.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rayne's Song:  
> [The Lion of Ferelden by Suzanne van Pelt](https://youtu.be/-oA-OvP3vME)
> 
> Rayne's Armor (art by [szajnie](http://szajnie.tumblr.com/)):  
> [](http://imgur.com/gYPpPuf)


	121. Amell

“What was the intent on your first visit to the Fade?” Solas asked.

She looked around trying to figure out if they had actually gone through a portal into a memory. “My Harrowing.”

“Ah.” Was all he said, conveying precisely how he felt on the rite.

Rayne felt the same. It was completely unfair to set a mage – who’s had no contact with the Fade except through dreams and preforming magic under heavy supervision – against a demon, either through having a demon placed inside them and forced to resist possession or, as she was, sent to the Fade where they are challenged to fight their demon and resist possession.

Whatever way the Templars went, the end result was the same: succeed and become a ‘true’ mage – a Harrowed Mage – or die. Or refuse the rite entirely or deemed unsafe to perform magic and become Tranquil.

But that was their world. A world stacked painfully against mages.

As if on que, a new – yet old voice – echoed around them. “Someone else thrown to the wolves. As fresh and unprepared as ever.”

The words awakened memories in her. She turned to Solas and nodded in the direction the voice had come. “Well, you wanted to see my first experience in the Fade.”

Together the two mages went down the path, luckily for her Harrowing there weren’t any deviating roads so the walk was quick.

It was a bit strange to see a younger version of herself standing a short distance away. Her long black hair hung down to nearly the small of her back then, and she wore the annoying mage robes of blue with the oversized hood.

Rayne couldn’t help but study her young face as dream-Rayne spoke to another man. Her face had been rounder and lips supple. Under the robe she knew she had been practically a bean-pole with very little figure. And, Maker, she was pale. Despite the fact that she trained in weaponry, she was still very soft. As were all mages.

Now, her face was leaner and was once home to a few scars, years of fighting and traveling had done wonders to get rid of baby fat. Over time most the scars had faded all except the one under her eye that was nigh negligible – according to Cullen – and the one on her shoulder that she wore as some kind of gift. Her lips were chapped, her body curved thanks to child bearing and skin was tanned from all her time in the sun.

“It’s amazing how a decade can change someone’s appearance so dramatically.” Solas said, as if reading her thoughts. He nodded to the pair ahead of them. “Who is the man?”

“That… is Mouse.” She shrugged. “That’s the name he had given me. He’s currently telling me that he had once been an apprentice himself, but during his own Harrowing had ran and hid. Now, he had no body to return to and now he’s offering me help.” She smirked as dream-Rayne crossed her arms and glared in the way Rayne still did when she didn’t trust someone.

**Keep your wits about you, and remember that the Fade is a realm of dreams.** She remembered the words Irving had told her before they sent her into the Fade. The First Enchanter wanting to give her every advantage he could, wanting her to succeed.

They watched as Mouse turned back into the talking rat that had first introduced himself as.

Dream-Rayne and Mouse walked down the path and _walked-through_ Rayne and Solas.

It was an eerie feeling. Rayne half expected the memories to stop when they saw the two of them standing in their way. It was a silly thought.

Solas watched the memories walk ahead before following after with Rayne in tow. “It’s remarkable how clear this memory is.” He noted.

“The Harrowing and my Joining… they’re two memories that will forever be ingrained in my mind.” She smirked. “Especially when I went through both a mere week apart from the each other.”

Solas raised an eyebrow at that but didn’t question.

They followed the memory as dream-Rayne met Valor.

“Another mortal thrown into the flames and left to burn, I see.” The spirit Templar said by way of greeting. “Your mages have devised a cowardly test. Better you were pitted against each other to prove your mettle with skill, than to be sent unarmed against a demon.”

“And this is the same Valor that stands vigil outside the memory?” Solas asked.

Rayne shrugged. “Supposedly. Unless all the spirits of Valor got together and swap the memories of me every few years.”

He smirked in amusement before turning his attention back to the memory.

Dream-Rayne inspected the spirit in question. “What kind of spirit are you?”

The spirit gave her e curt bow. “I am Valor, a warrior spirit. I hone my weapons in search of the perfect expression of combat.”

“What else do you know about the Harrowing?”

“Is that what your test is called?” Valor asked. He shrugged. “I know little of your mortal ways. I do know that a demon has been called and told that a meal awaits. It will not—cannot leave—until one of you is dead.”

“Did you create all these weapons?” She asked him.

Valor turned to the racks and nodded. “They are brought into being by my will.” He turned back to her. “I understand that in your world, mages are the only ones who can will things into being. Those mortals who cannot must lead such hollow, empty lives.”

Dream-Rayne’s lips twitched in a small smile. “No doubt.” She nodded to the racks. “Would one of these weapons affect the demon?”

“Without a doubt. In this realm, everything that exists is the expression of a thought.” He went to one rack and picked up a long-sword. “Do you think these blades be steel? The staves wood? Do you believe they draw blood? A weapon is a single need for battle, and my will makes that need reality.” He studied the sword a moment longer than returned it to its place. He turned back to Rayne and crossed his arms.

“Do you truly desire one of my weapons? I will give one to you… If you agree to duel me, first. Valor shall test your mettle as it should be tested.”

Solas shook his head in disapproval. “Not only do the Templars send you in here to face against a demon. But you are also forced into all obstacles before it.”

Dream-Rayne frowned and crossed her arms. “It seems you would prefer to kill me yourself.”

Valor’s form went rigid and his words angry. “How dare you accuse me! I am no demon, preying upon helpless mortals to steal their essence! I am a being of honor and valor! I am a warrior!”

Rayne saw the ghost of a smile that was quickly squashed before Valor noticed from dream-Rayne’s face. “Then prove it! Help me fight the demon!”

Through the visor she saw Valor’s eyes narrow in either anger or observation, she wasn’t entirely sure.

“You are insolent…” he growled. But his body relaxed. “But your will is unquestionable strong. Very well, mortal. You prove to me that you possess the strength to resist this demon.” He turned to one of the racks. After a moment’s thought he grabbed a staff and weighed it in his hand. Seeming satisfied he turned and went to dream-Rayne, offering the staff. “Go, prove your worth as you must. I am confident you will succeed.”

Solas chuckled. “Very clever of you.” He said and watched dream-Rayne come down the hill. His eyes went to Rayne, alight with approval. “Using his own purpose against him.”

She shrugged shyly. “Back then, I was more clever than fighting ready.” She said as way of excuse.

The elf simply smiled at her, not believing her and then followed after the memory again. It didn’t take them long to come across dream-Rayne’s next test.

Dream-Rayne studied the Bereskarn that lay lazily on the ground. “What kind of spirit are you?”

“It’s a demon.” Mouse answered. “Maybe even more powerful than the one chasing after you.”

“Begone!” the demon growled. “Surely you have better things to do than bother Sloth, mortal. I tire of you already.”

“Why are you called Sloth? What are you?”

With a sigh he turned his attention back to her. “I am spirit of Sloth, a creature of the Fade… unlike yourself. Mortals are ever the visitors here.”

Watching Sloth, Rayne thought his name very accurate. Sloth was one of the deadly sins, the avoidance of physical or spiritual work. And this demon seemed very lazy, barely moving the entire time.

Unaware of her thought, Sloth continued. “Still you serve your function. Only mortals like yourself are truly annoying.” The last word said in irritation.

“Are you talking about dreamers?”

Sloth yawned. “Many mortals dream. They come here often. But you are not one of those. You are… aware. A mortal with power and will. The sort of creature that some spirits… hunger for.” He paused and eyed her with mild interest but made no attempt at movement. “I might be inclined for such a meal, myself. It would be interesting to see the mortal world through your eyes, live inside your form…” He yawned again. “But I am disinclined to begin such a struggle.”

 “Lucky me.” Dream-Rayne said sarcastically.

“Indeed.” Either not hearing or ignoring her sarcasm. “Now what do you want with me?”

“I need help defeating a demon.”

Sloth turned away again. “You have a very nice staff.” And yawned again. “Why would you need me? Go, use your weapon since you have earned it. Be valorous.” He almost said the last word in humor.

Mouse tilted his head. “He looks powerful. It might be possible that he could… teach you to be like him.”

That caught Sloth’s attention. “Like me? You mean teach the mortal to take this form?” He eyed dream-Rayne and sniffed. “Why? Most mortals are too attached to their forms to learn the change.” Then his eyes his fell on Mouse. “You, on the other hand, little one, might be a better student. You let go of the human form years ago.”

Mouse blanched. “I… don’t think I’d make a very good bear. How would I hide?”

Dream-Rayne turned to him. “You could help me fight the demon.” She offered. “You said you wanted to help.”

“It’s true,” Sloth continued. “I am quite powerful in this form… when I wish to be.”

Mouse studied dream-Rayne carefully, looking into her eyes. Finally he relented. “I… welcome the opportunity, if it is my choice. The mages in the tower are quick to volunteer others, as you well know.” He turned to Sloth. “I’ll try. I’ll try to be a bear. If you’ll teach me.”

“That’s nice.” He yawned and turned away. “But teaching is so exhausting. Away with you.”

Dream-Rayne frowned and crossed her arms.

Mouse sighed. “I told you he wasn’t going to help us.”

But she wasn’t going to be easily deterred. “Mouse wants to learn. Teach him.”

After a moment he turned back to Mouse. “You wish to learn my form, little one?” Mouse nodded. Sloth turned to Rayne, “Then I have a challenge for your friend: Answer three riddles correctly, and I will teach you. Fail… and I will devour you both. The decision is yours.”

Rayne remembered she wasn’t terrible at riddles, but she didn’t really care about them.

“I think you will teach Mouse so I will stop bothering you.” Dream-Rayne said after some thought on the matter.

Sloth tilted his head to regard her. “Hmph. I suppose this means you intend to pester me endlessly?” She nodded. “What is to stop me from killing you?”

She shrugged. “You’d have to catch me. You’d have to get up.”

Sloth seemed to contemplate this. Finally he sighed. “You win. I shall teach the mouse to be more than he is.” He slowly rose from his sleeping position and took a step forward to Mouse. “Listen carefully…”

Rayne tapped Solas on the shoulder and motioned down the hill. “Come, may as well head to the last destination while this goes on.”

“You are a wonder.” He said after a short time.

She looked over her shoulder and raised an eyebrow. “How so?”

“You use your mind and wit to overcome the challenges of the Fade, never giving into a spirit or demons bargain. Whereas most others would have been simply hacking and slashing at everything.” He shook his head ruefully. “It’s a shame that you practice blood magic, you would have done well as a dreamer like me.”

Rayne chuckled as they came into the clearing that was going to be for the final confrontation. “Want to teach me to be a Fade-walker, I take?”

He shrugged sheepishly and turned to the coming pair, Mouse now in the form of a regular bear.

Rayne didn’t focus too much on the fight with the Rage demon or the conversation with Mouse afterwards as he tried convincing dream-Rayne to allow him to possess her. She perked up at the end though.

“I’m starting to think the other demon wasn’t my test.” Dream-Rayne said in suspicion.

Mouse got a shocked look on his face. “What? What are you… Of course it was!” He threw open his arms, “What else is here that could harm an apprentice of your potential?”

But dream-Rayne wasn’t buying it anymore, and now he knew it.

He brought his arms back to his sides and shook his head; a small smile came to his face. “You are a smart one.” He looked back up at her, his voice now changed to dark and menacing. “Simple killing is a warrior’s job. The real dangers of the Fade are preconceptions, careless trust… pride.”

At the last word he began to glow and stretch in size until he towered over her causing her to have to practically bend backwards to keep looking into his face.

“Keep your wits about you mage.” He flashed and disappeared, but she could still hear him speaking.

“True tests, never end.” Rayne echoed his words as the memory began to fade-away having been played out. “Truer words have never been spoken.”

Solas shook his head and turned to her. “Something tells me not all Harrowings go as smoothly.”

She shook her head. “No, far from it. So, see or feel anything useful?”

“No.”

Rayne sighed. She knew it was a long shot that perhaps this dragon spirit had been present then. Valor was waiting for them once they arrived back in the Fade.

“Any other experiences in the Fade?” Solas asked.

She held up a hand and started ticking off all the times. “My return to the Circle during the Blight when a Sloth demon had pulled me and my group into the Fade. During my time in Amaranthine, a darkspawn had cast a spell that sent as all into the Fade. That’s where we met Justice.”

Solas frowned in thought. “I doubt it would have taken interest in any of that.”

“Once briefly in Kirkwall…” She said, her voice trailing off thinking. And then shrugged. “That’s it.”

“There must be something more.” He insisted. “Something you’re overlooking as unimportant.”

She frowned at him and was about to tell him off when another memory came to her. “The orb.” She said softly.

“The orb? Corypheus’ orb?”

She shook her head. “No. This was years ago. Before I settled in Kirkwall. But…” She nibbled on her lip in thought.

“What is it?”

“I just… I never thought it was a spirit. It was just memories.”

“What do you mean?” Solas asked in confusion.

With a sigh of resignation, Rayne looked around until she found other door. “Come on. Easier to show you than explain.”


	122. Solas

He watched enraptured as the orb dream-Rayne held in her hand shattered. He had to control his features and the cry of horror at the sight.

Solas had recognized the orb the minute he laid eyes on it. It was another of the foci belonging to the _Evanuris,_ he just couldn’t recall which one _._ But he did not disclose such knowledge to Rayne who watched her dream self as swirling golden energy surrounded dream-Rayne.

Dream-Rayne watched the light warily, immediately hesitant and untrusting of whatever was occurring. A tendril of light reached slowly out, as if searching.

But dream-Rayne had backed away.

The tendril paused in its search. But only briefly. It shot out hitting dream-Rayne in the face.

She cried out and held her head.

Slowly she lifted her face, allowing Solas and Rayne to see her eyes glowing gold and her lips moving quietly.

Rayne studied her dream self. “Huh, it’s something else to see it happening from this perspective.”

Solas shook his thoughts out of the shock of watching. “What do you remember from this moment?”

“I remember memories, knowledge.” She shrugged. “That’s it.”

Dream-Rayne closed her eyes slowly. After a few moments they snapped back open, back to their clear blue. She looked around in confusion. But there was nothing around her except the corpses of the darkspawn she had killed.

She sighed in resignation and then brought her hand up. She tilted her head back and forth a moment before the lyrium brand on her cheek flared to life as did her hand. Her hand became engulfed in light-blue flame.

Solas’ mouth gaped open as he recognized the spell. “Spirit removal.” He gasped out before he could stop himself.

“How did you know that?”

He snapped his mouth shut and turned to Rayne who was staring at him, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “It is an old spell,” He tried to come up with a quick story. “Of the ancient elves. I’ve seen them preform it through my wanderings of the Fade. But the spell had been lost.”

Rayne studied him trying to find the lie. In truth, it wasn’t a _complete_ lie. Ancient elves had been the ones to wield such magic. But it had not been common, only performed by the _Evanuris._ And to this day only they knew how to use such magic.

Finally she turned her gaze away. “So, you’re telling me what that was… was an ancient elf’s memory?”

“So it would seem.” He mentally sighed in relief.

The memory slowly faded away, returning them to the central Fade.

And they found a familiar door waiting for them.

Rayne hesitantly went to it. Her eyes narrowed as the studied the runes.

Valor stood nearby. “You must have found what you were looking for.”

“Guess so.” She mumbled. She reached out a hand to the door frame. “They look… familiar.”

Solas was beginning to dread this mission the more that was revealed to them. All the evidence was pointing in the direction of an _Evanuris_. Which shouldn’t be possible. But it made sense. “Warden… perhaps we should cease this venture.”

Rayne straightened before she could touch the door and turned sharply on him. “What?”

He shrugged. “We don’t know what awaits us.”

“We _know_ it is a spirit of an ancient elf that for some reason wants to keep me protected.” She nearly snapped. “You’re the one that offered to help me.”

“That was before when I thought it was a simple spirit.” He argued. “But now…”

Rayne frowned and looked at the door.

Solas watched her, hoping he could convince her to leave.

But she shook her head and turned and glared at him. “No. I want answers.”

He gritted his teeth. “As you may recall, this entity doesn’t like me. It may attack again.”

She shrugged. “Then don’t come.” She turned to the door and grabbed the handle. Unlike with him, the runes burst to life by her touch. “But I’m not leaving until I get my answers.”

She didn’t wait, she threw open the door and went through into the inky darkness that wait beyond.

Solas suppressed his growl of frustration and went after.

It was much the same as he remembered. A darkness that could barely penetrate beyond a few feet. But this time he didn’t need to conjure any light.

Rayne walked in a small circle examining her gold glowing body that the darkness fled from. “Well…”

The door behind them close with a hollow thud as Solas cautiously approached her. “Seems you are welcome here.”

She looked at him, “Decided to come, did you?”

“We don’t know what to expect.” He said gravely. “I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if something happened to you because of my cowardice.”

She raised an eyebrow. “It’s proven that it doesn’t want to hurt me. But your intentions are noble.” She looked around and took a deep breath. “Come on then.

Unlike his first meeting, their journey had been quick. Apparently the _Evanuris_ was eager for this as well.

The ancient spirit was coiled on the ground, its head hidden underneath its massive bulk. Its large body swelled and deflated with each breath it took, the breathing echoing around them.

Solas studied the dragon, trying to discern which _Evanuris_ it was. Usually the telling mark would have been its form: a dragon. But he knew this was not Mythal. He recalled Cullen’s words after his venture and discussion with the spirit. That it had forgotten its name, **A self found through the soul of Purpose.** He recalled that was what the spirit had said.

His eyes briefly ticked over to Rayne as she studied the spirit. **Purpose.** He thought to himself, realizing that was the virtue that spirits of the Fade identified her as. Much like Cassandra was felt as Faith. The _Evanuris_ had sensed something within Rayne when she picked up the orb, a strong enough connection that it… **that it was able to break free from its prison, but remained in the Fade and watched over her.**

“Warden,” Solas asked softly. “Why were you seeking out the orb?”

Rayne looked at him in confusion. “I wasn’t. I was seeking information. I had all but given up when I came across the darkspawn group. And, well, you saw the rest.”

“And the orb, it gave you what you needed?”

“It did.” She said warily.

“Which was?”

“That… is none of your concern.” She said sternly, indicating she was done talking about it.

But he wouldn’t relent. “It _is_ my concern.”

Her eyes narrowed, ready to fight.

But a deep menacing rumble shook the ground beneath their feet.

Rayne and Solas stopped their argument and backed away from the dragon as it uncoiled itself and brought its head high above them and its eyes fell on Solas with a golden fury.

“Leave it alone, betrayer.” It growled.

Rayne looked at him. “Betrayer?”

He shrugged helplessly.

The dragon’s eyes narrowed in anger and lunged forward.

Before Solas could even cry out, the dragon had him trapped, its body curled around his and tightening.

Solas gasped in pain as he felt his body being crushed.

_“Stop!”_ Rayne’s voice rang out around them.

Immediately the pressure stopped, but didn’t lessen.

The dragon hissed in frustration and turned to her.

The dragon must have been a frightening sight, but the Warden held her ground. “Let. Him. Go.” She ordered.

“Why?” The dragon hissed out. “You despise him as much as I do.”

Solas gritted his teeth trying to control his breathing. Every breath agony.

“Do you even know _why_ you do?” Rayne asked.

The spirit didn’t answer.

“I didn’t think so.” She placed her hands on her hips. “As much as he’s pissed me off recently, doesn’t mean I want him dead.”

“You tried killing him.” The dragon stated, as if that was good enough reason for it to finish the act.

Rayne looked at Solas and smirked. “Tried. I didn’t go through with it. Now. Let him go.”

The dragon growled low, causing Solas to vibrate.

He had begun to think that the dragon would never let him go. But finally, it abruptly released its hold.

Solas fell to the ground with a cry of surprise.

Rayne was quick to his side. “Are you okay?” She asked softly.

He nodded. “I’ll be fine.”

“Good. Don’t move.” She stood and brought her attention back to the dragon. “You called him betrayer, why?”

The dragon looked down at Solas, its eyes narrowed.

Solas swallowed the lump he felt forming in his throat, fully expecting to be outed for who he truly was.

But the dragon turned back to Rayne. “I don’t remember.” It growled in frustration.

She crossed her arms. “So, you don’t know why you hate him, don’t know why you call him betrayer and don’t know your own name? Is that what I’m getting from you?”

The dragon’s lack of answer was enough. And Solas was able to breathe freely.

Rayne sighed and rubbed her temples. “So much for answers.” She groused. “Can you at least answer why you help me?”

The dragon tilted its head as if it didn’t understand her question.

“You saved me when I was dying from being stabbed recently. You saved me in Tevinter when I nearly died, and removed my markings.” She said pointing to her unbranded cheek.

“He marred you, marked you.” The dragon growled. “He held sway over you. I took that away.”

“That’s… nice and all.” Rayne said a little shocked by the statement. “But, why?”

“You saved me.” It answered, as if it was obvious.

She frowned in confusion. “Saved you? How…”

“The orb.” Solas offered, garnering a glare from the dragon.

But he noticed something when he mentioned the orb. The dragon’s body slightly faded, a new shape briefly appearing. A shape that itched at Solas’ memory, but he couldn’t quite grasp it.

“Was that it?” Rayne asked drawing the dragon’s attention back to her. “The orb? Was it your prison?”

“No.” It rumbled. “It was a link.”

“Then, what was your prison?”

“Darkness.” It sounded almost sad.

“Darkness?” She asked.

“A darkness that took everything we were!” It cried out.

_“We?”_ Rayne shook her head. “There are more of you? Do you know where? How many?”

The dragon just hung its head. It’s appearance fading again.

The Warden’s shoulders deflated. She scratched the back of her head in thought. “Are you a good spirit?”

“I’m not a demon.”

“Fair enough.” Rayne said dryly. “So… you’re just wanting to help me?”

The dragon didn’t answer for a long time, as if needing to think hard on her words.

Solas finally, slowly, rose to his feet and watched the dragon as it oscillated between transparency and opaque. Each time revealing the shape within it that it kept hidden, perhaps even from itself.

“You…” The dragon finally said slowly. “Help others. The world. Without thought for yourself. But only to make things better. You are… selfless.”

Rayne chuckled. “Not in all things.” She said lightly. “But usually where it matters.”

“I… want to help you to help others.” It paused. “I feel I need to.”

She tilted her head and studied the spirit. “But not through possession?”

The dragon hissed in distaste. “No. I am content here.”

She looked around, “in the dark?”

The dragon rumbled a laugh of amusement. “I do not see darkness…” The dragon brightened.

Solas expected them to be blinded, but the light didn’t hurt his eyes as it illuminated the area. His mouth gaped open as a field of golds, reds and orange colors revealed itself. Flitting through the autumn trees were what looked like spirit animals of all kinds, but most prominently… were owls.

And that’s when Solas realized what the shape was inside the dragon that he couldn’t place. It had been an owl. His mouth went dry as he finally knew _who_ this was.

“I am content here.” The spirit said. He looked over Rayne’s head as if seeing something only he could. “But your time is nearly up. It is time for you to leave.”

Solas approached Rayne. “He is right. Morning approaches.”

Rayne nodded and turned to the dragon. “Can I call you something, other than ‘dragon’? It’s rather impersonal, for someone who has saved my life on more than one occasion.”

He no doubt would have shrugged, if he had the ability in his current form. “I do not know of any name.”

Rayne tapped her chin in thought. “Then, let’s give you one.” She hummed a few moments thinking. Her eyes brightened as one came to her. “You’re the spirit of an elf, and as far as I can tell are a friend. How about ‘Falon’? It means ‘friend’.”

Solas choked back his laugh which rewarded him with a look of confusion from Rayne. He waved a hand. “Forgive me.”

“Falon…” The spirit said slowly. He finally nodded. “I will take it as my own.”


	123. Amell

“Any idea why it called Solas ‘betrayer’?” Cullen asked suspiciously. It figured, out of everything she had said he would immediately hone in on _that._

“Honestly? I think Falon was just confused.” Rayne said. She had done a lot of thinking over the day about her Fade adventure during the night. It filled her thoughts as she spent hours exercising in the empty chamber in the lower bowels of the Keep.

“How so?” He asked. His eyes were drawn down as Davia cooed in his arms, bringing a smile to his face.

They were in his office. Cullen sat with Davia at the desk as she gnawed on the head of her mabari toy while Rayne sat on the edge of the desk relaying the night’s events.

“Think about it,” She said shifting to get more comfortable. “Falon has been locked away for… Maker knows how long. Centuries perhaps. Long enough to where he has forgotten who he _is.”_

Cullen frowned at her calling Falon _him_ as if he was a real thing and not a spirit, but he held his tongue. “I’m still confused.”

“I think he was confusing Solas with someone he may have known in his life-time. He can’t actually _know_ Solas, after all.”

“You don’t think that… Falon… couldn’t have maybe seen Solas in the Fade at some point? The elf does like wandering the Fade.” He offered. It was a viable thought. Rayne had thought about that too.

“He doesn’t seem to leave the area that you saw him in.” She explained. “He’s created his own little world in there.”

“Hmm.” He hummed in thought. “And you trust him?”

“I trust him not to possess me, if that what you mean.” She shrugged. “He seems to genuinely want to help.”

Cullen gently pulled the mabari out of his daughter’s mouth. “Well, so long as he doesn’t possess you… guess it’s no different than garnering the aid of a Spirit to heal wounds.”

Rayne gave him a lopsided smile and then pushed off the desk. “Are you busy for a while?”

He pulled his attention away from Davia in surprise.

Her heart ached at what he thought she was hinting at. “Would you like to watch her for a while longer?”

She could see the slight disappointment in his eyes but it quickly disappeared as he looked down at the baby in his arms. “I would like to watch her all the time.” He admitted before returning his gaze to her. “But why?”

“I was going to go talk to Blackwall.” She went to the rack and grabbed her coat. “And despite Vi’s resilience to the cold, I’d rather keep her out of it too much.” She rolled her eyes at herself. “Maker, now Aiden’s got me calling her that.”

Cullen frowned. “Why?”

“Why am I calling her that?”

“No, why are you going to see him?”

She looked at him in confusion, originally thinking the hostility was coming from jealousy. But no, that’s not what this was. “Because I think I need to.” She said matter-of-factly.

“After everything that happened? The Inquisitor pardoned him, isn’t that enough?” He practically growled.

Davia began to fuss in his arms, sensing his anger.

He took a deep breath to relax his body and quietly hushed her.

Rayne studied him, waiting for Davia to calm. “You know, he’s not Meredith.”

His head snapped up in surprise.

She met his eyes evenly. “She never found fault for what she did, to the mages or her men. Even in the end. You can blame the red lyrium, but in the end it just fed her paranoia. Blackwall has been paying penance for years and in the end, did the right thing.”

“He’s been lying to us.” Cullen said calmly.

She crossed her arms. “About?”

He looked at her in confusion. “Who he _is?_ ”

“His name doesn’t define _who_ he is.”

He sighed, his frustration growing. “How about the fact that he isn’t a Grey Warden?”

She tilted her head. “Isn’t he?”

It was all she said before turning and leaving him to ponder what she said.

* * *

 

The inside of the stables were smoky due to the fire burning within. Inside was warm, not stifling but warm enough that the fire dispelled the harsh chill.

She went to his work-station and eyed his tools that seemed to have not moved since she and Alec found them.

“Blackwall?” Rayne called.

The sounds of scuffling feet above her said that he was in the loft.

Moments later Blackwall came down the stairs, his hair plastered to his head wet and a towel hung over his broad naked shoulders. “Warden-Commander?” He asked in surprise.

Rayne had never seen him out of his armor, so was surprised to find that his chest was covered in coarse black hair, gradually narrowing all the way down to his naval. His stomach wasn’t the flat, hard edges that she was accustomed to with most warriors she had seen disrobed. Instead he had a fleshy abdomen, something that really wouldn’t be noticed.

She pointed out of the barn, “should… I come back?”

He took the towel and rubbed his wet hair. “Not unless you mind seeing me without my shirt.”

She smirked. “Not the first chest I’ve seen, won’t be the last.” She said lightly and went to one of the hay bales. “I can now tell Vivienne that you do bathe.” She joked as she jumped onto the hay and sat.

Blackwall gruffed. “I could careless what _Madame_ Vivienne thinks.”

“I hear she’s rather impressed by you now.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Managing to deceive us all for so long. She apparently finds this a grand achievement.”

He simply shook his head and grabbed the lone wooden chair to sit in. He leaned forward and hung his head. “I was expecting this.” His voice was gruff with pent-up emotion.

Rayne crossed her legs and folded her hands over her knee. “Expected _what_ , exactly?”

“This talk.”

“Alright, and what were you expecting from this conversation?”

He didn’t answer. Acting like a dog knowing he did wrong and expecting punishment for it.

“You’re expecting me to reprimand you, chastise you like a child.” She paused. “But, I’m not going to.”

He still refused to look at her. “It’s no less than I deserve. I deserve worse.”

“For what, exactly?” She genuinely asked. “For being Tom Rainier and not Gordon Blackwall? It’s just a name, it’s no different than the title of Warden-Commander you people insist on throwing on me that I detest.”

He remained silent.

“For killing that family?” She said more softly. “Yes, it was terrible. It was also years ago. I will say: I know that something like that just doesn’t go away. I understand that. But you’ve also been atoning for it for years, fighting for a cause you didn’t have to. For an Order you didn’t have to. It wasn’t as if you were in a tavern somewhere drinking the memories away.”

Rayne could see Blackwall’s uncertainty. “And what about _what_ I pretended to be?”

“And what might that be?”

He finally looked up at her with a scowl on his face. “If you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly a Grey Warden.”

She didn’t hesitate. “And what defines one as a Grey Warden?”

He blinked at her in surprise at a loss for words.

Rayne sighed and shook her head. “You once said: At the heart of it, all a Warden is, is a promise. To protect others… even at the cost of your own life. They remember honor and sacrifice. Because they lay down their lives for those they have sworn to protect.” She let the words hang in the air between them a few moments. “You did that.”

Blackwall shook his head. “No, what I did…”

She sighed in annoyance and jumped from the hay bale and crossed the distance between them in three long strides. He followed her movements, wariness in his eyes, unsure of what she would do.

Rayne knelt on the balls of her feet and placed a hand on his knee. “All Grey Wardens have a past, most of it bad.” She tilted her head. “The Warden that recruited me, Duncan, he was a good man. But you know how he ended up in the Wardens?”

He watched her intently not saying a word.

“He had tried to rob a man at an inn, a ring. When the man returned and caught Duncan he had fought Duncan for it. And Duncan killed him, it was an accident. But it happened. He found out after he was arrested that the man… had been a Grey Warden. His name was Guy. The ring had been an engagement ring for another Warden, Genevieve. The same Warden that conscripted him into the Order before he was hanged for killing her lover.”

Blackwall’s eyes widened in shock.

“And me,” She said poking her chest. “I had aided a maleficar in escaping the Circle Tower. I faced death or Tranquility. Duncan… he saved me.” She gave him a soft smile. “The original Blackwall… he saw something in you. Your past didn’t matter. It was the fact that he thought you could do something for the future. And you have, when you didn’t have to after he died.”

He studied her, his eyes searching hers. “It’s that simple is it? I never underwent the Joining.”

“Well, consider yourself lucky on that.” She said dryly. “I’ll let you in on a secret. The only thing that separates you from a ‘real’ Grey Warden, is the fact that their blood is tainted and yours isn’t.” She stood and chuckled. “You’ve been more a Warden than I have been since the Blight. And even then…” She outright laughed. “I wasn’t a good Warden. Sticking my nose into places a Warden shouldn’t. Their job is darkspawn and Blights, I apparently didn’t get that memo then.”

Blackwall gave her a lopsided smile, the first one she had seen on him since he got back. “You talk about the Wardens like you’re not one.” He said in amusement.

Rayne’s smile faltered. Something he immediately picked up.

He stood over her and narrowed his eyes. “What is it?”

She hated keeping secrets. It killed her everyday she kept it from Alec. Now, here she was pep-talking Blackwall about being a Warden and she technically wasn’t one anymore. She felt like a hypocrite.

She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.” She turned away from him.

But he grabbed her arm, not unkindly. “Warden… Rayne.” His voice gruff. “You’re being here for me. Allow me to be there for you. Something is wrong.”

She groaned as she felt her resolve start to crumble under the pressure of his kind gaze on the back of her neck.

His hand ran up her arm until it encircled her upper-arm and he took a step closer. She could feel the heat from his breath against the side of her neck and cheek as he leaned closer. “You can trust me.”

Rayne’s shoulder’s slumped in defeat. **Damn him.** She cursed to herself. **Why did he have to be so blighted honorable and kind.** “Look,” she finally said and turned, their faces an inch apart. “There _is_ something I’m keeping secret. But not for myself.”

Blackwall released his hold and stood straight, crossing his arms over his broad chest. “Why?”

“Because… because Alec has enough on his plate than having to worry about what’s going on with me.” She rolled her eyes. “And the people here aren’t exactly known for their ability to keep secrets.” The fact that the secret she was a blood mage hadn’t spread like wildfire was amazing in itself.

He chuckled. “I’m sure I can keep your secret.”

Rayne studied him and then went back to the hay bale she had been using as a chair. She made herself comfortable and told him everything.

By the time she was done he was sitting back on his chair, leaning back with the towel in his lap and his hair nearly dry. His grey eyes boring into her to the point she was squirming.

“Well, say something.” She finally said when he had remained silent.

He didn’t answer right away, seemingly trying to still process when she told him. When he finally did speak his words were chosen with care, which seemed a bit uncharacteristic of him. “And you’re keeping this a secret from the Inquisitor because you don’t want him to be bothered by it?”

“Yes?” She said hesitantly, afraid she was about to walk into a trap somehow.

Blackwall scratched his bearded chin. “Are you sure?”

Rayne frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?” She snapped.

He shrugged and crossed his arms. “Could it be that you’re afraid of what would happen to you if it was revealed you weren’t a Warden anymore? If word got out, no doubt the First-Warden would send for you.”

She had thought about that, would she still be obligated to go if he did? She technically still was a Warden-Commander until the First-Warden dubbed otherwise. “I don’t know.” She said honestly. “Maybe a bit of both. But mostly for Alec. He doesn’t need something else added to his stress.”

Blackwall studied her and then nodded. “Very well. But I think you should tell him.”

Rayne smirked. “Noted.” She sighed heavily and ran a hand through her hair. “What a mess.” She mumbled.

He chuckled. “Been that way for quite some time.”

She smirked at him. “One mess after another.” She looked to his workstation and nodded to it. “You haven’t been working on it.”

He eyed the wooden toy he had been working on and then shrugged.

“You should.” She said kindly. “You have a knack for it.”

Blackwall tried to hide his smile in his beard but she saw the light in his eyes. “We’ll see.”


	124. Cullen

He tickled Davia’s belly in an attempt to keep her entertained as she squirmed on the blanket that had been a gift from Josephine with little lion cubs running across.

Cullen looked up from his daughter and smiled watching Rayne give Aiden his gift. They all sat on the floor, sitting on blankets in front of the hearth that had a fire going within to keep them all warm on the chilly Satinalia morning.

His heart swelled as he took in the scene of their little family, celebrating their first Satinalia together.

**My family.** He thought to himself, the feeling of completion enveloping him.

Aiden gently tore away the paper wrapping his gift to find a silver cylinder tube with mabari and lions in varying pose.

“I wanted to get you something other than a weapon… again. I think you have enough of those.” Rayne said lightly.

The boy eyed the cylinder, “it’s beautiful. Craftsmanship is great.”

“Thanks.” She said with laughter in her voice. “But that’s not the gift.” She pointed to the top of the tub. “That comes off, inside is the gift. That is just simply there to keep it from getting damaged.”

He pulled off the top with ease and tipped the tube to release the parchment within. He frowned in confusion as he picked it up and began unrolling it. “What’s this?”

Rayne gave him a lopsided smile. “A way for you to take us with you back to Denerim.”

Aiden’s eyes widened as he took in the hand drawn portrait of his mother, sister and Cullen.

Cullen had originally been against him being in the piece. Feeling that it may be seen as a slap in the face to Alistair, should he see it. But Rayne was adamant, Alistair needed to get used to the idea of them all being a family.

The end result had been a rather sweet picture of Rayne and Cullen lying side-by-side, Rayne resting her head on his bare shoulder on one side and Davia laying in the nook of Cullen’s neck, her head pressed against his chin in slumber on the other side.

“I thought it may be a way of making the distance easier to…” She gasped as she caught herself from toppling backwards as Aiden surged on her with a hug.

_“Ma serannas.”_ He said into her neck. _“Ar’lath ma, mamae.”_

_“Ar tas’lath ma.”_ Rayne whispered back and rubbed his back.

Cullen’s heart abruptly felt heavy at the thought that Aiden would be leaving tomorrow, as long as the roads remained clear of snow. It wasn’t easy for him to leave his mother and now his new little sister.

Rayne looked over at him and nodded.

“You still have one more gift.” Cullen said and reached into his pocket.

Aiden reluctantly released his mother and gingerly rolled his picture up; as if afraid he would tear it. “This was more than enough.” He said with a husky voice of emotion.

Cullen chuckled. “Well, if you don’t want my gift…” He said teasingly as he held up a small box.

The boy stretched out his hand. “I’ll never refuse a gift.”

“You sure?” He played.

Rayne nudged him. “Oh, give it to him already.” She said lightly.

He pretended to contemplate it until Aiden narrowed his eyes. With a chuckle he tossed the small box to the boy who easily caught it and lifted the lid.

Aiden tilted his head as he studied what was inside before removing a long chain with a silver ring at the end. The band was simple silver but had five stones set in: two opals – one bright yellow, one blue; one dark green emerald, one black diamond and one dark red ruby.

He looked up. “All our birthstones?” He asked.

Cullen smiled and nodded. “We left enough room…” he looked over at Rayne whose cheeks darkened slightly. “Should there be any additions to the family.” He brought his attention back to Aiden who was eyeing the ring. “We also made the ring bigger for you to grow into, hence the chain.”

The boy’s eyes went from the ring back to the box, “hey, there is another one in here.”

“Another one?” Rayne said in surprise.

Cullen suppressed a groan. “Uh… yeah.” He smiled sheepishly. “That one is you mothers.” He had intended to wait until later to give her that.

She frowned at him. “Cullen Stanton Rutherford.” She said reproachfully.

“Yes?” He said innocently as Aiden handed her the ring.

“We agreed on no gifts between the two of us.” She chided but took the ring and looked it over. It was identical to Aidens, except hers was missing the ruby that signified Alistair.

“Did you honestly think I _wasn’t_ going to get you something?” He asked lightly and looked down at Davia. “Your mother doesn’t know me very well.”

“You’re a fool.” She said as she rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t hide the smile at her lips or the love in her eyes as she slipped the ring over her index finger.

Aiden dropped the chain over his head; the ring nestled next to the wolf’s tooth already sitting on his chest. The silver shined with an orange glow from the fire. He looked up with a huge smile on his face. “Thank you.”

He shrugged shyly, “ _Da’rahn.”_

Aiden’s eyes lit up. “You’re getting better at that. Soon we’ll be able to have all our conversations in elvhen.”

Cullen laughed. “I doubt it.”

He stood and went to the table, pouring each of them warmed cider as Rayne picked up Davia since she began to get fussy.

Rayne hushed their daughter softly. “It’s alright, little one.”

Cullen handed Aiden his drink and set Rayne’s beside her. “I think she knows this is her brother’s last day here.” He said softly.

Aiden’s smile fell briefly, but it didn’t last. His eyes brightened and he took a drink. “It won’t be for long though, right?”

Cullen settled behind Rayne, lying on his side allowing her to lean back against him. “That’s right.” He said with a smile, and playfully pushed the boys ring on its chain. “And now, we’ll be with you in Denerim, too.”

Rayne nodded and looked down at Davia.

“I think she wants a song.” Aiden said lightly.

His mother looked at him out of the corner of her eyes. “Do you now?”

Cullen took a swallow of his drink. “I think he’s right.”

She rolled her eyes. “The lot of you.” She said with laughter in her voice. She hummed in thought, “well, what song should _we_ sing?”

“How ‘bout _Silent Night?_ ” Aide asked, tucking in his legs.

Rayne looked up in thought. “I… think I remember that. Let’s see…”

They waited patiently as she began to hum to tune. Stopping periodically catching a mistake. Finally she nodded. “Okay.”

She rearranged Davia in her arms and picked up the blanket to cover her. And then began:

_Silent night, Satina’s night_  
_‘Cross the land, She shines bright_  
_On this day when Andraste was named_  
_Born to free those Tevinter enslaved_  
_Maker smiled on her birth_  
_Maker smiled on her birth_

Aiden joined in, watching Davia’s reaction. A smile formed on Cullen’s lips before he joined.

_Silent night, Satina’s night_  
_Her love shines, burning bright_  
_Radiance streamed from Her holy face_  
_Touching all with Andraste’s grace_  
_Hail the Maker’s bride_  
_Hail the Maker’s bride_

_Silent night, Satina’s night_  
_From Her lips, Chant of Light_  
_Raise your voice with abundant praise_  
_That all people in Thedas be saved_  
_Maker smile on us all_  
_Maker smile on us all_

When they were finished Davia was fast asleep, sucking on her index finger.

Rayne shook her head and gently pulled the digit out of her mouth and whispered, “that’s the only time you’ll ever hear me sing anything having to do with the Maker.”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Silent Night](http://heretherebdragons.tumblr.com/post/71025013715/here-is-one-more-holiday-gift-for-my-lovely)
> 
> Art by [luluchenofdarnassus](http://luluchenofdarnassus.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Elvhen Translations:  
>  _Da’rahn_ : It was a little thing. Essentially, “no problem.”  
>  _Ar tas’lath ma_ : I love you too  
>  _Ma serannas_ : Thank You  
>  _Ar’lath ma, mamae_ : I love you, mother


	125. Cullen

The day after Aiden left with his entourage, Alec had left for the Frostback Basin. Skyhold seemed very quiet over the weeks that followed after all of them departed, with them gone and the lack of nobles because of the winter.

The only sounds that broke the quiet were new recruits training in the muddy courtyard. Cullen was relentless in their training. They were so close to finding Corypheus, he said, they needed to be ready at a moment’s notice. Plus, during that time there wasn’t any shortage of soldiers needing sent out to help at various places around Ferelden and Orlais. Whether to help the people there or secure outposts.

If truth be told, the training sessions were as much to whip the recruits into shape as it was to relieve his own frustration. His body always felt coiled and ready to break from the tension. The Iron Bull wasn’t around to help in the fighting ring, so he spent more time than usual fighting his more seasoned soldiers. He needed something.

Cullen hadn’t realized how much Rayne’s visits during the day before she was pregnant had helped relieve his stress, both physical and sexual. And now, he no longer had that outlet. But having Davia with him for a few hours every day while his wife trained in the catacombs did alleviate some of that stress. Not completely, but enough. The only downside: all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms or watch as she slept peacefully in the makeshift bed he put together for her by his desk.

Needless to say, he didn’t get as much work done with his daughter with him.

Today though, Leliana had come and taken Davia. Suggesting he would like the ability to actually get something done, she teased. Cullen had to admit, he did like this softer version of the Spymaster. Ever since her and Alec’s trip to Valence she had seemed more… at peace, not as eager to draw a blade to resolve an issue. Rayne was especially glad by that.

It wasn’t Rayne alone that had become harder during the Blight, they all had to change. Cullen hadn’t known them then, but according to her, Leliana and Alistair had been pretty different from what they were now. And it was because of Rayne that they had changed. She had led them to harder paths, to make them choose the difficult choice instead of the easier one. Forcing them – especially Alistair – to see the world for what it was.

Part of her always hated herself for doing that. But it had to be done.

Cullen leaned back in his chair reading over a letter from the Inquisitor on progress in the Basin. The edge of his lip quirked at one line: **Couldn’t these Jaws of Hakkon wait to summon their God until I’m finished with the one trying to become a God?** Seems even in a letter Alec couldn’t help his growing sarcastic nature to come through.

He’s spent too much time here in the Inquisition. Cullen mused. He’s picking up their habits and personalities.

Which wasn’t completely a bad thing. One good thing to come of it: he was learning to not let everything stick to him; carrying around a constant weight. Dorian played a key factor in that, no doubt. He was finding it easier to relax in the moments of calm at Skyhold. At the beginning he had been rigid, frightful of doing something wrong. His only saving grace then had been his diplomatic training as a Trevelyan coming through.

A bad thing, at least to Josephine, was the diplomat that she adored had been filed down, allowing Rayne’s influence to come out. He wasn’t nearly as bad at the Warden-Commander, but there were times the sarcastic, sharp tongue that you would have sworn had been Rayne talking came out. Much to Josephine’s dismay.

Luckily, the nobles took it in stride and – according to Leliana’s spies in certain circles – worked to their advantage. The nobles saw it as Alec growing a harder spine, someone worthy of them to follow. Especially the Fereldans.

Cullen was so engrossed in reading over the report, requests for soldiers to hold camps, that he didn’t hear his door quietly open. He wasn’t aware anyone had entered until he heard the soft click of the door lock sliding into place.

His body went rigid and his eyes snapped up, only to relax when he saw Rayne by the door watching him. “Rayne?” He asked in confusion, setting the letter on his desk.

His confusion growing as he took in her appearance. Her black hair was out of its usual ponytail, falling softly over her shoulders that were hidden underneath an oversized, virgin white, fur trimmed, silk cloak with the hood drawn up over her head casting light shadows across her face. She held the front of the cloak closed, completely hiding her body beneath.

Cullen sat forward a bit and watched as she went to the other two doors, securing their locks. “Is everything alright?” Confusion and worry forming a ball in his gut. The only time she ever locked his doors was when a serious matter required his uninterrupted attention.

After securing the final lock she turned back to him. Rayne’s smile was soft, yet playful. “I realized something today.”

He frowned as she moved to the front of his desk. “And what’s that?”

Her hands poked out of the cloak and slowly pulled on the strings holding it together, she was keeping care to keep it closed. “You got me a gift for Satinalia, but I didn’t get you anything. Or for your birthday.”

Cullen sat back and raised an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t say that.” He said. “After all you did give me…”

His voice trailed off, his mouth going dry as the cloak slipped from her shoulders and pooled around her feet.

Rayne slowly lowered her hand down her body as he took in the sight of her in black lace lingerie. The top was a low cut dress, rose pattern lace covering her breasts, splitting in the front leaving the front of her body exposed, the sheer tails draping over her down to her ankles in the back. With the front visible, she wore nothing but black lace smalls holding matching garters on her thighs.

“You were saying?” Rayne said lightly.

“I…” he cleared his throat, his eyes riveted on her as she came around his desk. “I… I can’t remember what I was saying.” He said honestly.

Her lips quirked into a smirk.

Cullen attempted to sit forward, but she halted him with a hand on his shoulder, pushing him back gently. With her this close and the shadows no longer playing on her face he was able to see her teal eyes.

Rayne lifted a leg over him and straddled his lap, her hair falling into her face as she bent over him. She slowly lowered her body down to sit flush against him.

It had been so long that Cullen wanted nothing more than to dive head first into her. So he kept his breathing slow and regular, controlling his body. Simply drinking in her body that he had missed. He brought up his hands with the intention to hold her hips, to feel her skin.

But she smacked his hands.

His eyebrows rose, he looked at her in surprise.

She tilted her head playfully. “I didn’t give you permission, _Ser_ Cullen.”

Cullen tried to contain the smile forming, and hid it by rubbing the edge of his mouth. She hadn’t called him _Ser_ Cullen since their time at Kinloch Hold. “I need permission do I, Apprentice Amell?”

Rayne leaned into him, her chest pressing against his. She brought her lips to his ear and playfully licked the lobe. “I don’t know,” she whispered, her breath sending a shiver down his spine. His breath caught in the back of his throat, containing a groan as she rolled her hips into him, grinding against him. “Do you?”

He forced his hands back to the arm-rests and gripped them to control himself.

She chuckled darkly and grazed her teeth along his jawline with the occasional soft kiss. “Good Templar.”

Cullen closed his eyes, getting lost in the feeling of her lips leaving a trail against his skin, each touch felt like a brand; hot, coursing through him to his core. He prayed that he hadn’t just fallen asleep at his desk and this was simply a Fade dream.

Any other thought of that vanished as her administrations reached his neck. He felt her tongue slide against the tender flesh under his Adam’s Apple causing his grip on the arm-rests to tighten. Her tongue danced up his neck, over his chin before giving a playful lick at his lower lip.

He felt her fingers gently grip his chin, “Look at me.” She said in a husky voice.

Cullen barely shook his head.

Rayne rolled her hips again him, his hardened cock pressing against cloth to feel her sex graze over causing it to twitch in want.

A groan escaped from his throat, his grip tightening to the point he was sure his knuckles were white.

She pulled her upper body away from his, immediately his missed the contact, forcing him to open his eyes as she rocked against him. Rayne clasped her hand behind her back, thrusting her chest out in a tease. He saw her nipples clearly through the fabric that barely hid anything as it was. He licked his lips as her breasts danced in front of his gaze, wanting nothing more than to take one of the nubs into his mouth.

Rayne sighed, “ah, there he is.”

Cullen lifted his gaze to her face as she watched him with hooded eyes, her cheeks flushed with her arousal. He held his breath as she brought her arms back forward, sliding over her abdomen and up her body until they reached the thin ribbon keeping her dress closed. Slowly, almost agonizingly so, she pulled on the fabric until it released.

She splayed her hands under the thin material, tilting her head back. She brought her hands over her breasts, giving them a brief squeeze before pushing the dress away, finally revealing the prizes beneath. She rolled her shoulders, shrugging out of it, letting the garment fall to the floor.

His eyes glued to her body as it danced against him, from the sweet rhythm her hips held that teased him mercilessly, to her stomach that rolled with practiced ease in waves, to her breasts at eye level enticing him to take one of the pert nipples for his own and finally to her beautiful face as she raised her arms behind her head to stretch her body more over him.

Cullen’s hands began to shake from want. He wanted her hot cunt around his hard cock. He wanted to taste the light sheen of sweat on her body. He wanted to feel her body writhe against his naked one. He wanted her. Everything she had to give, he wanted it.

“Rayne…” He nearly whined, managing to catch himself.

But she didn’t miss the desperate plea in his voice. A devilish smile formed on her face, “you want something, _Ser_ Cullen?”

He bit his lip as she pressed harder against his groin, his cock aching. He thrust his hips, gaining a gasp from her lips as he hit her throbbing cunt. “Please.” He rasped out. These slow administrations, the want to touch her would be the death of him.

“You sound needy, _Ser_ Cullen.” She gasped out between pants of excitement.

She ran her hands down her body, causing him to lick his lips imagining the taste that he loved. Her fingers drifted to his hands, “Do you want to touch?”

“Yes.” He hissed.

She tapped one hand, “You can only take these off.” She ordered as she dipped her fingers under the lace panties. “You can’t touch anything else.”

Cullen swallowed down the lump in his throat, but nodded his understanding.

Rayne stopped her hips rolling and waited patiently.

He slowly brought his shaking hands to the offending clothing, going first to the garter belts and unhooking them and then to the ribbons on the hips that held them in place. They easily came undone, as if just as eager as he was. She lifted her body enough to let him pull them off and toss them aside.

Before he could even hopefully try holding her hips, Rayne brought her own hands under his tunic. She didn’t waste any time, she pushed his shirt up until he was forced raise his arms for her to pull it off his overheated body.

His overstimulated body shivered with the cold air contact and the feel of her nails gently grazing down his arms and then his chest until they came to his breeches and pulled on the lacing holding his firm length that was nearly in pain from being restrained.

She was quick and efficient. He sighed in relief the moment his shaft was released, his eyes rolled back to the feeling of her hand wrapping around it and stroking leisurely up. Her thumb slipping into the slit catching the bead of pre-cum that had formed.

Cullen felt Rayne shift. His eyes went back to her as she raised herself up, holding his gaze, positioning her sex above his erection.

Their moans mixed when she finally lowered down around him. Her hot core completely consuming him. She only waited long enough to place his hands on her hips before she began riding him.

His body blazed as she bounced herself over his rigid cock, his hands gripped her hips tightly, guiding her along his shaft. Her hips rolled every time her full bottom met his pelvis.

He used his arms to raise her off his cock the barest amount before slamming her back down, wringing an shameless moan from deep in her throat every time.

She pressed her body to his and brought her head to his shoulder and sealed her lips over his pulse point. She sucked and nibbled at his sweat-slicked skin, muffling her desperate cries while bringing soft sobs to his lips.

He was so close now. He could feel the familiar tightness, he trembled as he forced himself to hold out from completion. He wasn’t sure how long he had already lasted, it seemed like an eternity between her teases, and now the sweet sound on their bodies slapping together in their joining, his rigid cock sheathed in her pulsing sex and their moans like a chorus.

But Cullen wanted to make sure that Rayne came first. Despite his desires, his grip tightened on her with an almost bruising strength, forcing her to stop which made her mewl in protest and her body to shiver in want.

“What are you doing?” She gasped.

“Giving you what you need.” He growled and abruptly lifted them off his chair. He pushed her against the edge of the desk, his pants pooled at his ankles, her legs hooked around him. “Stand.” He ordered.

Rayne sucked in her lower lip with a whimper at his tone, but didn’t release her hold.

He smacked her backside, “Are you defying me, Apprentice Amell?”

Her eyes lit up in delight, complied and stood.

Cullen gently gripped her chin, his thumb ran over her lower lip. “Good mage.”

She playfully nipped at the tip of his thumb.

He gave her a feral grin before spinning her around, pinning her against the desk. His hands roamed down her back to her supple bottom. He kneaded it before giving her another slap.

Rayne yelped and turned her head to look over her shoulder in surprise.

He raised an eyebrow in a silent question as he rubbed the now tender spot.

She bit her lower lip and gave him a slight nod, her eyes full of the want for more.

“You like that, do you?” His voice rough trying to contain the craving to simply enter her again and slapped the alternate cheek.

She whimpered and pressed her thighs together.

Cullen smiled wickedly, rubbing his hand over her now pink flesh then leaned over her, pressing his hard cock against her. His lips grazed the tip of her ear, “The things you learn about a person.”

“Cullen… please.” She pleaded, trying desperately to grind against him.

He brought his hand between their bodies, slipping between her thighs, forcing her to separate them. He hummed in delight as his fingers slid over slick lips, easily gliding in and finding her bundle of nerves.

Her breath hitched as his fingers made half circles over her clit. Her leg started to shake, she panted as she got closer, his name spilling from her lips.

“Tell me.” He growled, pressing harder on the pearl.

“Please.” She sobbed.

Cullen carded his free hand into her hair. “Please, what?”

Rayne moaned. “Fuck me, please!” She cried out, he was certain anyone close by heard. “I need you inside me.”

He bent her over the desk, giving him unhindered access. He stopped his administrations on her and took his cock in hand, playfully rubbing the head against her opening. “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite hear you, Apprentice Amell.”

She whimpered. “Please, _Ser_ Cullen.” She pleaded.

That’s all he needed. He entered her in one quick motion, her nails dug into his desk as she moaned. Usually he waited to allow her to accommodate to him, but he couldn’t, both of them were too close now.

He pulled out, leaving only the tip of his cock inside and then driving hard back into her. He repeated that a half a dozen times, until he felt the inner walls of her vessel tensed around him. His grip in her hair tightened as he pounded into her.

It didn’t take them long for both of them to fall over the edge into blissful release.

Cullen pulled out of her when their bodies both relaxed and sat heavily back in his chair, not even bothering to redress himself yet. Rayne gingerly raised herself off the desk.

He gently gripped her side and pulled her to him. “Come here.” He said softly.

She gave him a tired smile and sat on his lap, curling into him and resting her head on his shoulder.

Cullen ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead. “Rest, love.”

“I love you, Cullen.” Her voice slurred with fatigue.

“And I love you, Rayne.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration for the lingerie worn by Rayne:  
> [](http://imgur.com/rYH8r0w)


	126. Amell/Trevelyan

An hour later they woke up enough to climb the ladder to Cullen’s loft and not too long after Leliana returned with a hungry Davia. Now all three of them were lying in bed, all satisfied and drowsy.

Their daughter snuggled close to her father sucking on her index finger. Cullen’s arm stretched across the bed and rubbed her hip with his thumb, just below where his shirt she wore draped over her, the rest of their clothing laying on the floor below in his office.

Rayne smirked and plucked Davia’s finger from her mouth. “We’re going to have to break her of that.”

Cullen’s exhausted eyes just lingered on their daughter, a soft smile playing on his lips as she cooed in her sleep and nuzzled closer to him. “I think she’s okay for now.”

“Such a Daddy’s Girl.” Rayne teased.

His warm amber eyes looked back up at her, “My girls.” His hand moved up her hip.

She subconsciously squirmed as it got closer to her abdomen.

The happiness in his eyes faltered. “You’re still uncomfortable with me touching you.”

It wasn’t a question, but she looked away. “I’m getting closer. Obviously.”

His sigh was quiet, “Love…”

“Please, Cullen.” She whispered. “Not right now.” She looked back up at him. “Today is such a good day, I’d rather not ruin it.”

He studied her and then nodded. He gave her a lopsided smirk. “You’ve been planning this.”

“A bit.” She said in amusement. “Did you enjoy it?”

His smile grew. “Very much so. And I enjoyed learning something new about you.”

She felt the heat in her cheeks, she hadn’t been surprised about her arousal of being spanked. She had it done before. What _had_ surprised her was Cullen initiating it. She had never voiced her like of rougher sex, a part of her was hesitant of bringing it up to him. But she couldn’t deny the desire to try some of her more eccentric tastes with him, but she didn’t want to trigger a painful memory for him.

But knowing that he seemed to enjoy the bit of roleplay they did today and spanking her, maybe someday she would venture further.

“Would it be… something you would want to do again?”

His smile widened. “Most definitely.” He tilted his head slightly, “I have to ask, where did you get that… outfit?”

She laughed. “A wedding gift from Dorian. I had actually planned on using it on our honeymoon, but I got the opportunity to do some other planning.”

Cullen raised an eyebrow. “I’m not sure whether I should thank him or be horrified by the act.” He joked.

“Judging by your reaction? I’d say you should thank him.” She teased.

“I’ll skip that conversation, if you don’t mind.”

* * *

“Warden-Commander?”

She sighed in annoyance, but continued her exercise: currently hanging up-side down from a bar in the stone wall, doing sit-ups. “I really wish you would stop calling me that, Ambassador.” She said with a grunt.

“What else should I call you?” Josephine said coming into view, her nose wrinkled. “Must you use this chamber as your personal workout space?”

Rayne continued unperturbed. “I do have an actual name, and it’s not like its being used for anything else.” She said dryly.

“It will take weeks to get the stink of sweat out of here.”

She rolled her eyes and grabbed the bar, then flipped herself around and landed on her feet. “I’d rather have to air out a room then go out in the mud, ice and snow. Was there something you needed, Ambassador?” She grabbed a towel and her water skin.

“Yes, actually. I was hoping you could hold onto this,” she said holding up an amulet with strange symbols. “Until the Inquisitor returns.”

Rayne took a drink of water while studying the piece. “Okay, I give up.” She finally said. “What is it and why do you want me holding onto it?”

“It’s the amulet requested for Cole.” Josephine said. “My contact came through and it arrived today.”

Since Adamant Cole had been worried about being bound by a mage like the demons to the corrupted Wardens there, forced to do unspeakable things. He had originally gone to Rayne and Solas asking that one of them bind him to prevent that from happening. Both had refused.

But seeing him so distraught and afraid of the possibility, they along with Alec came up with a possible solution: An amulet used by Riviani Seers that prevented spirits from being bound.

Rayne just wanted Cole to be and feel safe.

She waited and then shrugged. “That’s great, I’m glad. Why do you want me to hold onto it?”

Josephine frowned. “Since neither the Inquisitor nor Solas are here, you are the designated keeper of magical artifacts. To keep an eye on it.”

Rayne raised an eyebrow. “I’d like to know when that was decided.” She mumbled but took the amulet anyway and slid it into her pocket before grabbing her shoes and headed to the door.

“You’re not going to at least put on your shoes before going up into the hall?” Josephine said in an annoyed tone following.

“Nope.” They climbed the stone stairs to the hall, “Any word from the Inquisitor? He’s been in the Basin, what? Nearly three months now?”

“According to his latest report,” The Ambassador flipped through some papers. “They are trying to find a way into an old Tevinter Fortress that has been frozen shut. Literally.”

Alec hadn’t expected to be gone this long. When he first heard about the expedition to search for Inquisitor Ameridan he thought it was going to be simple. It didn’t take long to find out that it was going to be anything but. Between the dense forest that was filled with all sorts of creatures of the Basin, rifts and having to deal with Avvar Hakkonites that wanted him dead and trying to resurrect the god Hakkon, he was forced to stay there longer and seek the aid of the Avvar tribe at Stone-Bear Hold.

But he was getting closer now.

“Y’know.” Rayne said as they entered the hall and headed to the flight that led to her room. “I’ve come to the conclusion it’s not the actual fight with a god-like creature that is the pain, it’s all the crap to get to them.”

Josephine chuckled softly.

“Good to know that I can get something other than frown out of you.” She said sarcastically.

“What does that mean?”

Rayne shook her head. “Nothing.” She said in amusement.

Leliana sat at her desk whispering with one of her scouts, they immediately stopped when the two other women entered. The Spymaster beamed a smile. “Have a good workout?”

“Always. Find any interesting secrets around the room while I was gone?” Rayne asked with a smirk.

“None that I didn’t already know.”

“Oh good. I kept the juicy ones hidden properly.” She cracked open the door to the bedroom.

“She’s napping.” Leliana said. “Hasn’t been down long.”

“Good, that gives me a chance to take a bath.”

“Of course.” Josephine said. “I’ll have someone bring up some water. Do you need anything else, Warden-Commander?”

Rayne sighed. “No, Ambassador Josephine.” She went to her shelf and placed the amulet for Cole in her jewelry box.

With that, Josephine spun around to return to her tasks.

Leliana gave Rayne an amused smile. “She is a creature of etiquette.” She nodded. “You almost have your figure back.”

“Thank goodness.”

Leliana waved at her scout in dismissal before following after Rayne into the bedroom. “I’m beginning to worry about the Inquisitor.”

Rayne began undressing, “Why? Did something happen? Josephine didn’t say anything.”

“Nothing happened. But he’s been gone for too long. He’s not usually gone in such long increments, he usually comes back before now and may go back, but…”

“I wouldn’t worry about it too much, Leliana.” She sat on the bed and pulled off her shoes. “I can only imagine traveling to and from the Basin right now. He probably just wants to get it all done and over with.”

Leliana hummed in thought.

“What is it?” Rayne asked as people came in with buckets of water.

Leliana didn’t answer right away, waiting for the tub to be filled and Rayne to start heating it with magic and adding oils. “I’m debating whether or not we should send someone else down there.”

She snorted. “Like who? And what good would that do? Anyone that can do anything is down there.”

“Not everyone.”

Rayne was about to step into the tub and then stopped. “Wait, me? Are you insane?”

“You have dealt with gods before.” Leliana said pleasantly.

“Don’t make it sound like it was a walk in the park.” She grumbled and finally entered the hot bath that smelled of vanilla. “And my answer is no.”

“Didn’t you say you were here at our disposal?”

“And I’m still breast feeding my three month old daughter.”

That halted Leliana. “Oh.”

“Didn’t think of that little hiccup, did ya?” She sighed as she fully relaxed, letting the heat melt away the aches in her body. “Alec will be fine, Leliana. I’m sure he and everyone else will be back before you know it.”

* * *

* * *

He shivered against the cold wind, watching as his companions began working on the dragon that had once housed a spirit that the Avvar had revered as Hakkon, The Iron Bull still reeled from the epic fight against it.

Alec rubbed a hand against his cheek, frowning at the beard that he had accumulated in the months he had been in the Basin to help fight off the biting cold against his face. He couldn’t wait to get back to Skyhold. To the warm hall, and bedroom with an oversized bed piled high with furs, and hopefully Dorian’s warm body lying next to him.

He wondered how long it was going to take him to thaw out after being in the frigid climate.

“I’ve never gotten to see you taken down a dragon in person.” A new voice penetrated his thoughts of a blazing fire.

Alec turned on the boulder to see Scout Harding approaching. Her red hair a bit frayed and her green eyes lit up in excitement.

“I must say…” She said, continuing to approach the dead beast, but still keeping her distance. “It’s fun to see it up close.”

He watched her with a lopsided smile. “Perhaps this calls for a new title. Dragonslayer Harding, perhaps?” He joked.

She turned back to him and smiled. “A fancy title goes against the point of being a scout. Nobody should see me coming.” Her smile faltered. “Inquisitor Ameridan would have been proud that you finished what he started.”

She paused and looked to the ground, as if compiling her thoughts and feelings. “It’s strange. History forgot so much of who he was. They never knew he died saving everyone.” She looked back at Alec, “Do you ever feel that way?”

He raised an eyebrow in question. “You weren’t in the fortress. How’d you hear about Ameridan?”

She gave him a coy smile. “I’m a scout, remember? Who do you think writes the messages Leliana reads?”

He chuckled lightly, it was a foolish thing for him to ask. “Right now, half of Thedas would recognize me on sight.”

“Right.” Her smile fell again. “But they see the Inquisitor, the larger-than-life-figure.”

Alec shrugged faintly, as if it didn’t bother him. When in truth, it did. Practically everyone in Thedas knew of him, but didn’t _know_ him and how being an Inquisitor had changed him. For good or for ill.

“Every time you’re ‘more than just a person’ to someone,” Harding continued unaware of his thoughts. “You’re also _less_ than a person to them. They don’t see that a real normal man fought the Avvar and killed that dragon.” She smirked and approached him. “And they certainly don’t know about your strange fixation with elfroot.” She said teasingly.

Alec grinned. “My feelings for elfroot are classified, Scout Harding.” He said with laughter lacing his words.

She outright laughed. “I’ll carry your secret to my pyre.” She nodded. “For what it’s worth… nice work, Trevelyan.”

His face softened, enjoying the sound of his name instead of his title.

Harding’s freckled cheeks flushed a bit. She cleared her throat, “Anyway, I’ll be at camp if there’s anything here you want to finish up.”

Alec nodded and watched her make her way back across the Basin.


	127. Amell/Anders

It was another month before they made it back to Skyhold because of the side trip up to the Coast even with the changing season in the plains.

Before they left the Basin, The Iron Bull had received a message from his Qunari contacts of Venatori trying to move Red Lyrium into Minrathous. The Arishok wanted to ally with the Inquistion to stop them.

Things had started fine with the agent that was sent to them to help. They, along with the Chargers, had managed to secure the beach and signal the dreadnaught ship to destroy the Ventori ship. But then Alec and Bull saw mages show up on the beach, heading straight for the Chargers that were at the second signal fire holding the position.

And that’s when things had gone sideways.

Gatt – the Qunari agent that had seemed like good friends with Bull – had wanted to sacrifice the Chargers. They needed to hold their position to allow the dreadnaught to get away from the shore and out of the reach of mages that would turn their spells on the ship the first chance they got. That would secure the alliance with the Qun.

Bull was obviously torn. He was attached to his Chargers, but he would be going against the Qun, his life. In the end, Bull differed to Alec’s judgment.

Alec wouldn’t have it. He would risk the alliance, he’d be damned if he would sacrifice the Chargers. He had become far too close of friends with them all, shared too many fights, stories and memories.

Gatt had _not_ be happy.

They had watched the dreadnaught be destroyed, exploding in a great blaze. But the Chargers were safe.

Gatt had been waiting for them at Skyhold, sent there to inform Alec that he would no longer be getting aid for the Qunari and the Inquisition’s _Tal-vashoth_ ally would no longer be receiving reports.

Being dubbed a _Tal-vashoth_ by the Qun had crushed Bull. But having The Chargers and the friends he had made in the Inquisition helped. He was so worried that he would go mad and turn on those around him, no matter what anyone else said.

Rayne had received word from the Arishok, voicing his displeasure of the alliance being destroyed, but he did not hold it against her or the Inquisitor and wished them all luck in their fight against Corypheus. She was glad that she hadn’t lost her friend, but she couldn’t help but wonder how this would come back to bite them later.

And, of course, the Inquisitor’s job still wasn’t done. Alec finally decided to pass his judgment on Anders.

The day it was to take place, Rayne stood in the crowd of people with Davia and Cullen. The hall was closed; they had been forced to remove some spectators. So many people wanted to be there to bear witness.

Rayne watched as Alec finally emerged from his personal quarters in the Tevinter robes that he had become fond of, with Dorian in tow watching with a worried look. And she couldn’t blame him. When Alec had first returned to Skyhold he had dark purple circles under his eyes, his face looked like an unruly bush and his usually kempt hair was dirty and mangled, and his armor torn and worn. He looked a lot like how Anders did when he first arrived.

Now he was clean shaven, aside from his trimmed goatee, his hair cleaned and styled. But the dark circles under his eyes were still noticeable, even after two nights of uninterrupted sleep in a real bed and warm room. He was definitely going to need relax for a while.

Despite his tired appearance, he managed to keep his head high and sat easily on his throne. He refused to let anyone see a weakness for them to exploit.

Once Alec was seated Dorian joined the crowd, but he made sure to be close in case his _Amatus_ needed him.

Alec motioned to Josephine that he was ready.

A few gestures from her to guards had the doors to her office opening and Anders being led in.

Rayne felt Cullen stiffen behind her, and his hand on her shoulder tighten. He apparently was aware of that, because he immediately loosened his grip.

When Anders was at the throne he knelt, an action that caused Alec to raise an eyebrow. “Inquisitor.” The rebel said solemnly.

Alec tapped his fingers along the armrest of his throne in quiet contemplation. Finally he sat back and crossed his legs, folding his hands on his lap. “I will admit, you have put me in quite the predicament.”

“Oh?” Anders said sarcastically.

Rayne rolled her eyes, **For once Anders, shut up.** She thought to herself.

His tone didn’t dissuade the Inquisitor. “There is no denying the crimes against you.”

“Interesting, I didn’t hear my crimes.” Anders said nonchalantly.

Something sparked in Alec’s eyes then. “I did not give you leave to speak.” His voice snapped like a whip.

Rayne saw Anders cringe and was smart enough to hold any other witty retort.

“Your crimes are heinous, they need no proclamation. But I will name it: murder. Murder of hundreds in Kirkwall instigated by your actions, and more notably, the murder of all those in the Chantry cathedral.” Alec paused to let his words settle. “But once, you were a heroic Warden. Fighting alongside the Hero of Ferelden after the Blight.”

Her heart clenched at the guilt. Cullen rubbed her shoulder with his thumb as if sensing her mood change.

“After, yes, you ran. But you ran to the slums of Kirkwall, healing the poor, sick and the refugees from Ferelden. You stood with the Champion of Kirkwall for years, helping the city further.” Alec tilted his head. “Once you were a mage that used his abilities to heal and help those in need, not just your fellow mages.”

His voice softened. “I know that treatment of the mages there were… deplorable, to say the least. They deserved better.”

Rayne rubbed her face against Cullen’s hand knowing his own guilt would come forward. Davia squirmed in her arms, sensing the change in her parents.

Alec’s voice hardened. “But that doesn’t condone what you did.” He paused. “It has been over 6years since that event. You went into hiding. Do you have anything to say that hasn’t already been said?”

“I would like to point out, Inquisitor,” Anders said. “That the King of Ferelden was the one that let me go.”

Rayne groaned low. **Really Anders? You just _had_ to bring that up? **It wasn’t a commonly known thing that Alistair had let Anders live, and now a collective gasp of surprise resounded in the hall.

She could tell that Alec now wished that he had held this closed off from the populace. “Only because it was a fate worse than death.” He relaxed and smirked. “After all, you were left to live with those you killed and forced to live as a wild hermit cut off from civilization. Tell me, how was that for you?”

Anders shifted in discomfort.

Rayne released a breath of relief at the few nods of agreement were seen. Luckily most the nobles in the hall were Fereldan and loved their king.

Alec tapped his fingers on his lap. “I should respect King Alistair’s choice of letting you go, knowing that even so, you would still be a pariah. To await your remaining years ‘til your Calling takes you to the Deep Roads. Or perhaps a mage’s punishment? Tranquility?” He paused, letting his words hang in the hall while all those held their breath.

Anders recoiled at the thought of that potential punishment. Even Rayne couldn’t help but feel bad for him if that ended up being the case. She wouldn’t wish Tranquility on her worst enemy.

“Your crime affected all of Thedas. But it was felt more in Kirkwall.” Alec leaned forward. “Anders, you shall be escorted back to the City of Chains. Let the people there choose your fate.”

Anders’ shoulders sagged in defeat. Despite the possibility of execution, he had been hoping for resolution.

“You will leave tomorrow. Take him back to his cell.” Alec said and stood. “Commander Cullen, Ambassador Josephine. Please see me immediately.”

With that, the Inquisitor headed back to his room with Dorian and Josephine following close behind.

“I’ll see you soon, love.” Cullen whispered in Rayne’s ear and kissed the side of her head and then crossed the hall.

Anders’ guards grabbed his arms and turned him. His eyes fell on her and she couldn’t help the lurch in her chest in seeing the pain and disappointment there.

* * *

* * *

 

He had barely sat back in his cell when he heard the footsteps from the stone steps echo down to him.

Anders stood heavily and went to the bars, surprised to find Rayne as she entered holding a bundle in her arms that was no doubt Davia.

The guards surrounding his cell backed away to the farthest point in the room to give them some semblance of privacy as she approached, she didn’t ask to be left alone with him again.

“Rayne?” He asked in confusion. “Why are you here?”

She tilted her head. “I figured this is the last time I would see you, one way or another.”

He pressed his head to one of the bars. “Glad to finally be rid of me, eh? And no doubt I’ll be executed in Kirkwall. Well, at least Meredith isn’t there. So my chances of Tranquility are minimal.” He paused. “You… don’t think the Inquisitor would have honestly…”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. He hasn’t been known to issue that as a punishment. But there is always a first for everything.”

He shuddered at the thought. He studied the woman on the other side of his cage, thinking about everything they had been through with each other. “Do you ever regret making me a Warden?” He finally asked.

“Do you?” She asked as response.

Anders thought a few moments and then shook his head. “I may not like where I currently am. But… Despite the horrible things we saw back then, there has never been a time in my life that I felt more worthy. That I could actually make a difference. And then there was having you, of course.”

She smirked and shook her head.

“Are you going to answer the question now?”

Rayne sighed heavily. “I think I regret more that I didn’t find a way of sending Justice back to the Fade sooner.”

“You really think that all this could have been prevented if I hadn’t merged with Justice?” He shook his head.

“I think Vengeance influenced you more than you realize.” She paused, “You have always been an idealist Anders. There is no denying that. But I know if you didn’t have Justice fueling your anger, muddling your thoughts, you would never have killed all those people. There were better ways, and had you been in your right state of mind, I like to think that you would have come to me or Vector for help with that. Instead of thinking you had to be the one to bear all the weight.”

He lowered his eyes. “Maybe.” He said softly. “Do you… do you think we would have still been together if I hadn’t merged with him?” He finally asked and looked back at her.

Her eyes filled with sadness. “I honestly don’t know, Anders.”

He nodded. It wasn’t fair to expect any other response. Who knew how their lives would have ended up if he had just thought he could be enough on his own. To be happy enough with her in his life and the new baby that he had thought back then was his.

Davia began to squirm in Rayne’s arms making cooing noises.

Anders smiled warmly as her face poked out of the blankets holding her and looked up at him with warm amber eyes. “She definitely looks like you.” He sighed heavily and looked back at Rayne watching him. “If it counts for anything, I’m glad you’re happy. Even if it is with a Templar.”

She smirked. “They’re really not all that bad. If you ever gave one a chance.”

He chuckled. “Maybe.”

“Just maybe.”


	128. Cullen/Trevelyan/Dorian

“What do you mean: he escaped custody?” Leliana snapped.

Cullen watched as Alec rubbed his forehead in fatigue after reading the letter that was sent to him personally.

It had been four days since the Inquisitor passed judgment on Anders. Now they all stood in the War Room, Alec looking beaten and worn – who had not had a moment’s peace since his arrival back at Skyhold – Leliana now fuming, and Cullen holding Davia giving Rayne a break as she stood at the window.

Alec dropped the parchment on the table, “It means just that. Read it yourself if you don’t believe me.” He said wearily.

Leliana eyed the message as if she wanted to read it herself to make it true, but apparently thought better of it. “How did this happen?”

A chuckle from the other side of the room caused them all to turn to Rayne. “It’s really not all that surprising.”

“What do you mean?” Josephine asked.

Rayne turned away from the window and looked back with a smirk. “Anders was always notorious for finding an escape. He escaped from the tower in Ferelden, what was it?” She paused in thought.

“Seven.” Cullen said in annoyance. “Seven times. Greagoir and Irving always took it with a grain of salt.”

She nodded. “That’s how he was recruited into the Wardens.”

Leliana glared at her. “And you didn’t seem it fit to tell us? We could have added more security. We could have…”

“Enough.” Alec snapped. He took a deep breath trying to calm himself. “Enough, Leliana.” He said more calmly. “What’s done, is done. There is nothing to be done about it.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “We’re not going to search for him?”

Cullen scoffed. “Search where? If his guards couldn’t find him in the region they were in, he’s long gone. He has all of Ferelden he can hide in, or even taken a ship somewhere else since he was so close to the coast.”

“He’s still a fugitive.” Alec said agreeing. “It goes back to how it was before. People will keep an eye out for him.”

“It took 6 years to find him.” Leliana just did not want to let it go. “He could go to his Calling by then.”

“And that,” Rayne said. “Is a fate worse than death. I thought you would be pleased by that.”

“I would have been pleased to have had him executed while he was here.”

Cullen watched as Alec’s eyes hardened. “It was my decision as your _Inquisitor._ You know? The position you lot forced on me.” He spat. “I never wanted this job, but I took it. And I’m doing the best fucking job I can!”

They were all stunned into silence.

“Inquisitor,” Leliana said hesitantly.

He raised a hand cutting her off. “I don’t want to hear anymore of it.”

They all stood there awkwardly, not sure what to do. Not wanting to cause another outburst.

“Aaand, I think that’s enough for the day.” Rayne finally said breaking the tension. She came to Alec side and grabbed his shoulders. She spun him around and pushed him towards the door.

“Warden Commander, what are you…” Josephine started.

“The Inquisitor is going back to his room for rest.” She glared back at them all. “No one Is to bother him for the rest of the day. _No one._ ”

“Rayne, really this isn’t…” Alec started.

“Yes, yes it is.” She shoved him to towards the door. “Can you look after her for a while?” She asked Cullen nodding to the bundle in his arms.

“Of course.” He said.

They all watched as Rayne led their tired Inquisitor out of the War Room and to his quarters.

“Don’t tell me _you_ of all people are going to just let this go, Commander.” Leliana said turning to him after they were gone.

Cullen frowned at her. “You heard the Inquisitor. It’s done. Let it go, Spymaster.”

* * *

* * *

 

He sighed as he was pushed onto his bed. “Was that really necessary?” He asked in annoyance.

Rayne looked down at him with her hands on her hips. “Yes. You need rest. And, Andraste help me, I’m going to make sure you get it. Even if I have to stand guard outside your room myself to make sure no one gets in.”

Alec sighed heavily feeling like a great weight was on his shoulders. “The world doesn’t stop turning for me to be able to take a break.”

She glared at him. “Too bad. You’re getting it. One way of another.” She studied him and then softened. “You can’t keep going like this Alec. If you continue, you’re going to burn yourself out. You have people around you that can help, so let us help. You don’t have to be there personally for every little problem.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “I know. I just…” He shook his head.

“You just feel responsible.” She finished softly.

He nodded.

“Trust me. I get it.” She sat down next to him. “I wish I could say it gets easier. But I haven’t led anything in over a decade and I’m still feeling the weight.” She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. “But I can say that it’s easier with friends there to help you hold it.”

Alec gave her a smile. “True.” He fell back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. “Thanks. For getting me out of there.”

She chuckled. “Figured things were getting heated in there. And as much as it would no doubt be entertaining, I don’t want to see which one of you would win in a fight: you or Leliana.”

He snorted. “Pretty sure she could shiv me before I got off a spell.” He rolled his shoulders in agitation.

Rayne stood again, “I’ll have water brought up. I think a nice hot bath would do you wonders, and then sleep.”

He sighed and laughed. “Yes, mom.”

“Cute.” She said dryly.

 

The last of the water had just been brought and poured into his large tub and now was heating as he undressed.

The sound of something falling into the water caused him to spin around. “Dorian?” He asked in bewilderment.

His lover sat on the edge of the tub pouring oils into the water, gentle clouds of steam drifted up and kissed his face. “I heard that the meeting ran quick.” He said pleasantly.

Alec rolled his eyes. “That’s one way to put it.” He tossed his shirt into the corner and smirked. “And here I thought Rayne wasn’t allowing any visitors for me.”

Dorian put on his best charming smile that made Alec just want to kiss him. “Not even she could resist my charms. I managed to convince her to let me come up.”

He chuckled and pulled off his boots. “Something tells me she was the one that went to you about my meeting being cut short.”

“Do you disapprove?” He stood as if to make an exit.

Alec closed the distance between them and grabbed Dorian’s hips, pulling him close. “As a matter of fact, I do.” He said teasingly.

Dorian smirked. “You have an odd way of showing it, _Amatus.”_

“I disapprove if you keep your clothes on and don’t join me.”

* * *

* * *

 

Hours later, after a long soak together, they lay in bed, their naked bodies pressed together and legs entwined. Dorian had his arms wrapped around Alec, his hands rubbing over his lover’s muscled back, mentally counting all the new scars he found knowing that they ran deeper than they appeared.

Knowing that his _Amatus_ was hurting more than in body was the only thing that dampened his mood after they had been together, because there was nothing he could do for him.

“Stop worrying.” Alec murmured.

Dorian looked down where his lover’s head rest on his chest. “I’m not.” He said lightly. “Admiring all the new muscle you’ve acquired since we’ve met.”

He felt Alec’s lips curve in a smile. “Thanks for the compliment. Even if it’s not true.”

“It is. I love all the muscle.” Which was true.

Alec chuckled. “Over course, Love.”

That took him back, “’Love’ is it?”

“Why are you acting so surprised? You call me _Amatus_ more than my real name.”

Dorian chortled. “Yes, but you’ve never called me anything like that.”

Alec tightened his hold on the other mage. “Well, I would get used to it if I were you.”

He smiled warmly and relaxed in his embrace. “Is that so?”

Alec finally raised his head. “Yes.” He said softly and kissed him.


	129. Amell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **For those that don't follow me on Tumblr (for those that want to my username: dracoangelz) or not part of the Cullenites group on Facebook:  
>  I’m sorry to my followers that read The Lion and The Wolf, that I’ve spoiled with new chapters every week. Right now it’s been difficult for me to write for various reasons (seeing doctors, in more pain due to physical therapy which in turn effects my mood, ect.). I try to do a bit of writing everyday, but it’s not enough to keep on my anointed weekly schedule I once had.**
> 
> **As much as it pains me, I will be slowing down on my writing. I’m not stopping completely! Just right now, until I can get myself fixed and get my mindset back into writing, it’s going to be new chapters when I can get them done.**
> 
> **I hope you all understand. And hopefully this doesn’t last long.**
> 
> **Now, back to the story!**

“You can’t be serious!” She nearly shrieked, forcing her feet to remain in their spot instead of heading to the door of the once vacant room like they wanted to.

Morrigan sighed dramatically. “Are you afraid of a mirror, Warden?”

Rayne glared daggers at the witch. “It’s anything _but_ a regular mirror. What the hell is it doing in Skyhold?”

“You’ve seen this before?” Alec asked in confusion. He had been in Skyhold now four weeks and Rayne had made sure he only had light duty during that time. It seemed to have done well. The dark purple under his eyes were finally gone and he didn’t look as sickly and weathered.

She crossed her arms and eyed the Eluvian suspiciously. “Not this one specifically.” Her lip curled. “These are wretched things.”

Morrigan rolled her eyes.

“They’re dangerous!” Rayne snapped at her. “I remember what Duncan told me of the Dalish clan that had come across one in the woods. Two of its clan members were _infected_ by the Blight from it and _died._ Duncan was forced to destroy it. _”_ She began pacing. “And then there was Merrill…”

“Merrill?” Alec asked. “Wait, the Dalish elf that was here for your wedding?”

She nodded. “She thought it would be a great idea to take the shards and _rebuild_ the blighted thing. All in the hopes of ‘reclaiming some of the Dalish past’.” She tried to keep the mocking tone out of her voice.

“A noble goal.” Morrigan said with approval.

“Not when it kills people! And Merrill decided to get aid from a demon to fix it. Her Keeper ended up having to die because of her naivety.”

“Uh, ‘having to die’?” Alec asked.

Rayne rolled her eyes. “Marethari knew that the demon was trying to manipulate Merrill, and she wouldn’t listen to her Keeper or _anyone_ else on the matter. To protect Merrill, Marethari bound the demon inside her so we could kill it. But that meant killing her too.”

“What happened to the mirror?” Morrigan asked.

“Merrill finally destroyed it.”

Alec eyed the mirror warily. “You didn’t tell me these could corrupt people.” He said to Morrigan.

She frowned. “ _Mine_ is un-corrupted, Inquisitor. And thus not a danger.”

“Until something comes through and tries to kill us all.” Rayne mumbled which rewarded her with a glare from Morrigan.

Alec tapped his thigh with his fingers and then sighed. “Well, it’s too late to send it away. I’ll talk to Cullen about putting some guards outside the door… just in case.”

“Really, Inquisitor,” Morrigan started. “That’s not necessary.”

“I’m just taking precautions, Lady Morrigan.” He said diplomatically. “Just in case. There is the off chance there is someone else out there that can crack whatever code it is to unlock the mirrors. It’s the smart thing to do.”

Morrigan seemed to consider his words and then nodded. “Very well, Inquisitor. It is your hold, after all.”

Rayne just shook her head, **at least it’s something.** She thought to herself. “And you said another one is in the Arbor Wilds?” She asked aloud. “And that’s what Corypheus is after?”

“That is what I’ve concluded.” Morrigan replied.

“Lovely.” She said dryly. “And with spring hitting the lowlands his people will have an easier time scouring the area for it.”

Alec nodded and then sighed. “Looks like vacation is over.”

Rayne gave him a sympathetic smile and headed towards the door. “If we’re lucky, this will be over soon.”

“Are we that lucky?” He asked sarcastically.

“We have our moments.” She said stepping outside and blinking in the sunlight and heading towards the main hall.

Alec practically skipped to be in step with her. “So…”

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye in suspicion. “Yes?”

He gave her a devilish smile. “Any plans for next week?”

“No?” She said uncertainly. “Why would I?”

He maneuvered in front of her, halting her walk. “How come I had to hear from Cole when you birthday was?”

She sighed. “Really?”

He grinned. “All these years together and I never knew when it was!” He thought a moment. “Granted we never had a lull long enough for me to actually…”

“Care?” She offered with a smirked.

He glared. “Plan. Plot. Take your pick. But I always care, thank you.”

She patted his shoulder and moved around him. “I know. I was just kidding.”

He followed close behind. “But really, why haven’t we ever celebrated?”

“Because I’ve always made it a point of _not_ celebrating.” She pushed in the door leading to the main hall and heading to exit to the courtyard.

“What? Why?”

“Why does it matter?” She finally asked in exasperation.

Alec grabbed her arm just as they exited, forcing her to turn to him with a confused look on his face. “Why _doesn’t_ it matter to you?”

Rayne shook off his arm with a frown. “You want to know how many birthdays I’ve celebrated after I joined the Circle?” She held up two fingers. “Two. I don’t even remember any before I was sent to the tower.”

“Why?”

“I saw no point in them.” She sighed and leaned against the wall. “Let me guess? You celebrated every year. Big deal with your family, right?”

Alec nodded slowly as if afraid he was being led into a trap.

“I didn’t. From the age of five until I became a Warden I was in the tower. I never left, I barely went outside.” She shrugged. “What was there for me celebrate? All a birthday did was remind me I was one year closer to my Harrowing. We may not have known what it entailed, but we knew we risked becoming Tranquil or sent away. And then after I became a Warden… all it did was serve as a reminder of another year closer to my Calling.

“Irving pushed for me to celebrate my first birthday at the tower, but he never tried again. And then Jowan tried once. They just weren’t big deals to me.”

He tilted his head. “Well, what about…” He stopped and then hunched in his shoulders, catching himself before he voiced his thought. “Never mind.”

She smirked. “What is it?”

At first he held his tongue, until she stared him down and he groaned in defeat. “I was going to ask about now. You have a lot to celebrate. But then I remembered…”

“Remembered what?”

“Well, you’re still a Warden. That hasn’t changed.”

The familiar ball of guilt formed in her stomach and she rubbed her face in aggravation.

“Rayne, you okay?”

She growled, “No.” **I can’t keep this up. I can’t stand his guilt over me being a Warden.** “Alec, there’s something I need to tell you…”

* * *

 

“Don’t you think I should have been there when you told him?” Cullen asked, his voice raising.

Rayne hushed him and pointed to the make-shift bed that Vi was sleeping in. They had finally gotten her to go to sleep. She had been rather fussy since they started weening her off of the teat and onto more solid foods. And she’d be damn if she was going to wake-up their daughter.

She motioned with her head to the door and headed that direction.

Cullen made sure to keep the door open a crack before dismissing the guards outside his door.

She waited until they were away before speaking again. “It’s not as if I was planning on it happening. I just couldn’t stand lying to him anymore.”

He rubbed the back of his neck and heaved a sigh. “Well, how did he take it?”

She shrugged. “Better than I thought. Granted I think he was mostly in shock. And then confused about the spirit. He did agree that we should keep it quiet for now. No telling how everyone else will take the news.”

“Small victories.” He said lightly.

Rayne gave him a lopsided smile and then looked out over the horizon. Her mind wondering.

“What’s wrong?” Cullen’s voice cut in through her thoughts. “I thought you were pleased?”

“I am.” She turned back to him. “I was just thinking… about the Avvar.”

He looked at her in confusion. “The Avvar?”

“Alec told me of a ritual they do. To separate their mages from their ‘spirit’ teachers.”

Cullen’s face screwed in disgust at the thought. “Ah yes, the mages they purposely turn into abominations.”

She gave him a pointed look. “With spirits, not demons. And they have methods to separate them, and if all else fails they are killed. It’s not as if they don’t know what they’re doing by now. Which is what I’m trying to get at.”

She could tell he still didn’t like the idea of the Avvar custom in this regard, but he chose to ignore it for now and let her go on. “What about it?”

Rayne hesitated, nibbling on her lower lip. “What if… could we have done something like that for Anders?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Anders?” He shook his head. “I think it’s a bit late for that.”

“I know _now_ it would be.” She said dryly. “But what about before? When I first found out he merged with Justice? Could I have…”

Cullen shook his head stopping her and closed the gap between them. He gripped her arms softly, “There was nothing you could have done, Rayne. _He_ made that choice. From everything we understand about this Avvar ritual, the mage has to be _willing_ to let their ‘teacher’ go. Does that sound like Anders? Would he have honestly wanted to be separated from Justice?”

Rayne looked down. “I… don’t know. It would have been nice to have the option.” She said sadly.

He brought a hand to her chin and lifted her gaze to his. He gave her a sad smile and kissed her forehead. “We can only hope to do better in the future.” He said softly into her hair. “Maybe we can speak with Stone Bear Hold’s Augur about sharing this ritual, if we can save mages…”

She rested her head on his chest, her nose brushing against the fur of his coat. “It would be a nice thought.”

She felt him nod and wrap his arms around her.

They stood like that for a bit, but her mind was still reeling. A fact that didn’t go unnoticed by Cullen.

He chuckled. “You’re still thinking about it, aren’t you?”

“About Anders? No. I was just thinking,” Rayne lifted her head and looked at him, wanting to see his reaction. “Cullen, what happens if Vi turns out to be a mage?”

The question caused his eyebrows to rise in surprise. “What do you mean?”

She took a step back from him, causing his arms to drop back to his sides. “It’s not a difficult question. What happens if Vi is a mage?”

He shook his head still not understanding where she was going with it.

She sighed heavily. “Let’s say Cassandra – or Andraste forbid, Vivienne – becomes Divine. They plan on bringing back the Circles. Little mage prisons.”

Cullen groaned and turned away from her. “Why are we even talking about this?”

Rayne reached out and stopped him. “Because we need to.” She moved in front of him, but he refused to look up at her. “Magic runs strong in my family. All my siblings were mages.”

“Aiden isn’t a mage.”

She frowned, he was avoiding her question. “No, but look at Vector and his family. His father was a mage, and his younger sister – who just so happened to be a _twin_ to Carver – was a mage.” She waited for him to say something, when he didn’t she pressed forward. “You once said that we still needed Circles and Templars.

“Cullen,” she said more forcefully. “Your wife is a mage. Who, at the end of all this, will no longer have her Warden status to keep her from the Circle if they are reinstated.”

He looked up in surprise at that, as if it wasn’t something that really crossed his thoughts. “Cassandra wouldn’t force you into a Circle…”

“Maybe.” She interrupted him. “But what about Vivienne? I’m not exactly high on her friend list.”

He shook his head. “Mages have been allowed to live outside of Circles.”

“Do you think that would be allowed when they are first reinstated? No, they will want stability first. And who knows how long that will take?” She paused, trying to get him to see. “Cullen, I would be put back on a leash. Do you honestly think they are going to let a mage of my power and influence just _go?_ They’re going to want me watched. And if my magical practices and the spirit that aids me are ever found out, how do you think that will go?”

Cullen looked torn. He was a firm believer that Circles and Templars were needed. Not all mages were like her, Alec, Dorian, Vivienne and Solas. Some needed to be watched. Rayne understood that. For all his leaps and bounds since the Blight and Kirkwall, he still was haunted by what those blood mages did.

But now he was being faced with the reality that if the Circles were reinstated he would potentially lose his wife. And then there was their daughter, the whole reason she brought this up. As much as she hated it, she would go back to a Circle. Perhaps she could help from the inside. Help the New Divine change it for the better. But Vi, she would be taken from them. Many things would no doubt change in the new Circle, but Rayne wasn’t as optimistic that ripping children from their parents and keep family members separated would be one of them.

“But this isn’t about me,” she said. She held Cullen’s gaze. “This is about Vi. What if she is a mage? Would you let them take her from us? Would you, a former Templar, allow other Templars to come and steal your daughter – _our_ _daughter –_ from us?”

A pained look came to his face and he pulled away from her. “You make it sound worse than it is.” He said gruffly over his shoulder.

Her heart sank and she bristled. “Do I? That’s exactly what they do. Unless it’s under extreme circumstances most mages never see their families again. And we both know what life in a tower is like for a mage.” Her voice cut at the end.

He shook his head still not looking at her. “The Circles are going to change. They’re not going to be the way they once were.”

“And you know that for certain?” Her anger bled slowly out of her. Her shoulders hunched and she shook her head. “You realize the Chantry never wanted the Circles to end up how they did. They had grand plans. And then people filled with hate and righteousness got dumped into the pot.” She raised her arms, even if he couldn’t see the gesture. “Look where we are now.”

Silence seemed to stretch into eternity.

Reality had just crushed down in their small bubble.

The mage and the Templar stood on the battlements, lost in their own thoughts.

Thoughts of the potential future and what would happen to their small family.


	130. Cullen

For the next week they were silent in each other’s presence. Neither knowing what to say. But also because he couldn’t stop thinking about everything she said.

Because, in a lot of ways, Rayne was right. But he wanted to have faith in the Chantry, the future of the Circles and Templars.

But what would he do if Templars came for his wife and daughter? Would he simply stand aside and let it happen?

Those questions burned in Cullen to the point it hurt.

It was the night before they all were leaving for the Arbor Wilds, they finally pinpointed where Corypheus’ people were, Leliana’s spies were already harassing them – keeping them busy while the Inquisition gathered their forces. Now was the time to march or risk losing Corypheus again or letting him get the prized eluvian he sought.

It was also Rayne’s birthday.

Despite her protests to Alec, he had planned a celebration for her. With the help of Varric. It was a small affair, the Inquisitor figured he had less risk of having a spell flung at him that way.

She initially had been annoyed, but as the night went on she relaxed and began to have a good time.

Cullen watched from his chair with Vi in his lap, chewing away on her stuffed mabari that she had thrown a fit about being left behind in the room. Since both he and Rayne were leaving for the Wilds they had wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. He could tell it was especially difficult for Rayne, but she was determined to go. They were leaving their daughter in the care of Dagna who offered and even promised no experiments while they were gone.

He smiled softly as he watched Rayne shake her head in amusement as Varric offered his gift. Her eyes brightened as she unveiled a new journal for her to sketch in.

“I figured you were going to be needing a new one soon.” The dwarf said with a grin.

“Thank you, Varric.” Rayne said and hugged him. Her hands roamed over the warm leather cover.

Then Cole shyly approached her, his hands behind his back. He had foregone his hat, which added a look of insecurity. Ever since his return from the Hinterlands with the Inquisitor he had seemed a bit off balance. For the first time, Cullen actually _noticed_ Cole’s arrivals and departures; which had been very strange to him. Varric and Rayne spent a good deal of time with him, and Cullen hadn’t understood why until Alec told him.

Cole was now more human. Alec didn’t go into big details, but the end result was Cole’s change. He was more bound to their world than the Fade. He could still feel others pain, but he didn’t hear as much anymore.

Cullen couldn’t help but wonder how this was going to affect him in the years to come. Despite Cole being a spirit, Cullen had grown attached to him – not that he would actually ever admit it to anyone.

When he was close enough, Cole shifted on his feet as if unsure whether he should proceed.

Rayne smiled warmly at the boy, “Is there something you want to give me, Cole?”

He nodded slowly and then thrust out his hands to her. “I had to paint the eyes.”

She looked over the gift in his hands.

It was a stuffed wolf pup, the size of an actual pup. Its fur white as snow and its eyes painstakingly painted blood red.

“It’s Ghost.” Cole said, as if he needed to clarify.

Rayne took the toy slowly from him, her eyes filled with sorrow as she held it gently in her hands.

“I’ve hurt you.” Cole said in dismay.

Her eyes shined with unshed tears, but a smile came to her face as she shook her head. “No Cole.” She looked up at him and grabbed him, pulling him into a tight hug. “You didn’t. Thank you.”

The boy looked unsure of what to do at first, but finally he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her.

“You look like you could use a break.” A voice said off to Cullen’s side.

He turned to find the Inquisitor smiling down at him.

“May I hold her?” He asked.

Cullen chuckled and raised Davia, who wasn’t fazed in the least by her being moved around.

Alec gently took her into his arm, propping her onto his side. Her eyes widened as she stared into his. She reached out with one hand as the other kept her toy firmly in her mouth and touched his face.

“I thought I would never say this,” Dorian said, an amused smirk on his face that did nothing to hide the warmth in his eyes as he looked up at his lover. “You look good with one of those, _Amatus.”_ He said it teasingly, but the underlying love couldn’t be missed.

Alec’s cheeks darkened causing the rest of the group to laugh. He shook his head and went over into the corner with Davia in his arms. “Ah, to the Void with all of you.” He said lightly.

Cullen watched his daughter play with the Inquisitor until he heard Rayne stretch and stand.

“Give me a moment, I need some fresh air.” She said, rubbing at her eyes that she was trying to keep from spilling over tears.

He waited until she had gone out the door before following after.

She stood leaning on a nearby tree as she stared into the night sky, holding the stuffed wolf close to her chest.

“It’s a remarkable likeness.” He said approaching.

Rayne looked down into her arms; a soft almost child-like smile came to her face. “It is.”

Cullen smirked. “Since it was such a good night, maybe now you’ll let us celebrate more of your birthdays.”

She turned her gaze back away. “Maybe.”

He was at a loss of what else to say.

So they stood in silence. Usually it was a comfortable silence, simply enjoying each other’s presence. But now it was awkward, neither knowing where to step – afraid to shatter the fragile glass that has formed under them.

His left hand formed into a fist, his grip tightened and loosened as it did when it wrapped around the hilt of his sword. His eyes went to the ground and watched the sway of the grass that was starting to take the place of the muddy earth from the winter.

Her sigh jolted him and he returned his gaze to her as she pushed off the tree. “Well, I better get back to the others. Make sure Bull and Varric don’t drink themselves into oblivion the night before we march.”

That may have been the reason she gave him for leaving, but he knew it wasn’t true. Not entirely anyway. She was like him: she couldn’t stand the awkward silence.

Cullen’s jaw clenched and his eyes closed as she walked by.

The scent of strawberries and vanilla seemed to fill more than just his nose. It filled his heart, soul and mind. A blissful fog that slowed the whirlwind of questions and doubt in his thoughts and heart that had plagued him since their discussion the week prior.

In their place came memories over the years.

Their first meeting, when he and the Knight-Commander had briefly stopped at Kinloch Hold when he had first left Honnleath to join the Order. Their first kiss, after he had been transferred there.

Memories of watching Rayne practice her magic as he was supposed to be the statue ever vigilant, watching for the inevitable corruption the Chantry insisted would take over every mage; including Rayne. But back then as he watched the spells she conjured, some so beautiful that he had to wonder just how anything like that could be corrupted.

But then Uldred happened, and from then on all he saw in mages was darkness and corruption. That none of them could be safe, to others or to themselves. Reaffirming everything the Chantry and Templars taught him. Then he was transferred to Kirkwall and Meredith, where she helped cultivate the anger in him turning it into a yawning abyss that he went deeper into.

That is until the two cousins Vector Hawke and Rayne. They were constantly proving that mages could not only avoid the temptation of demons but save people. A feat even more impressive after he learned the truth about Rayne’s magical practices.

And then he thought he lost Rayne for good, by the hands of another mage. A mage, he had to remind himself that felt backed into a corner by his Knight-Commander. But at the time he didn’t see that little detail. He nearly gave into the hate again.

But the thought of turning down that easy path again… it sickened him after all the headway he made with Rayne’s help. It was still a long road, but he was determined. For himself and for her.

The Inquisition was his chance of redemption, in so many more ways than he would realize.

He and Rayne were reunited.

Flashes of everything that happened since their reunion came to him, the good… and the bad. Despite all the bad, the good overcame it all. Their love over-powered the darkness that threatened to destroy what they had.

The final memory: _Satinalia._ A frame of Rayne holding Davia and Aidan sitting next to them, playing with his baby sister. Rayne raised her eyes to him, filled with light and love.

Cullen’s heart clenched at that memory. **_Would you, a former Templar, allow other Templars to come and steal your daughter – our daughter – from us?_** Rayne’s words echoed in his heart.

His eyes flashed open, what seemed like a life-time in his head was only seconds in the real world, Rayne had barely passed him.

He grabbed her arm, stopping her. “Rayne, I wouldn’t.”

She turned and looked at him in confusion. “Wouldn’t? Wouldn’t what?”

“I wouldn’t let them take you. Neither of you.”

Her face changed from confusion to something unreadable.

Cullen dropped his hold on her. “No matter what it took. I’ve lost you one too many times, I won’t do so again. And I refuse to have our daughter grow up without us with her. If she is mage… I don’t want her to fear her powers. I want her to be like her mother: strong and fierce, kind and loyal.” His shoulders slumped as the tension that was coiled in his body finally left him. His gaze went to the ground, “No matter what it takes, I’m going to protect you all. That should have been my answer from the start.”

He barely caught himself as Rayne rushed into him, burying her face into his coat; initially too stunned to do anything.

“Vi’s mother isn’t the only one that is strong and fierce.” She said, her fingers fisting his coat. “Together we will face any obstacle thrown our way.”

His body relaxed and he wrapped his arms around her small frame, completely enveloping her in his embrace. He buried his face into her hair, “No matter what comes.” He said softly.

Cullen meant those words, but he couldn’t help the darker thoughts that wormed their way in.

**This is all under the assumption we can defeat Corypheus.** He shook his head. **No, we _will_ defeat him. I will not lose them. Not to Templars. Not to Corypheus.**

**Not to anyone.**


	131. Amell/Trevelyan

She constantly rubbed her hand, she felt naked without her two rings. She may not have had them long, but they meant a great deal to her. Which is exactly the reason she had left them back at Skyhold. She hated the thought of losing one of the gemstones or damaging them during the fighting. But she wore the coin necklace under her armor, its warmth pressing against skin giving her comfort.

Rayne looked over at Cullen riding beside her as they winded their way through the forest that was the Arbor Wilds. He kept his face stoic, trying to give off an air of command and that nothing was wrong. But she knew better. She knew he was now regretting the coat that he always wore over his armor. He began regretting it the further South they went and out of the Frostbacks.

At Skyhold spring was barely hitting the mountains when it came to the temperature. So having a heavy coat with a nice thick mange of fur around the neck was nice. But in the lowlands, where spring definitely had come, and in a humid forest, it was far from ideal. She had tried to warn him, but he was sure he would be able to handle it.

He didn’t complain, but she could see the relief in him at the end of the days during their march when he removed his armor. He would simply sit in their tent bare chested for hours, only his wedding band on a thick chain lying against it. Like her, he didn’t want to cause undue amount of damage to his ring so had opted to a nice thick sturdy chain to hold it on.

Off in the distance they heard explosions, whether it was from the enemies or Inquisition forces, who could say? But Rayne hoped that the battle that was taking place here wouldn’t cause too much damage. She already worried what having this many Red Templars was doing to the plants and wildlife.

She and Cullen were riding in a small group, scouting ahead to find where Corypheus and his people were heading to make the journey easier for Alec. They had already stationed two blockades along the way. Emperor Gaspard held the first, nearest the Inquisition camp. The second was being held by Leliana, who seemed excited to be back in the fray again.

Rayne understood that feeling. And wasn’t sure if she liked it. But she held her tongue and kept her excitement hidden.

“Maker’s Breath.” Cullen breathed out.

Her lips parted in amazement as they finally reached their destination.

They had been told by Leliana’s scouts that there was an elven temple deep in the forest, and that had seemed Corypheus’ destination. They all agreed that inside must hold the _eluvian_ he sought. Solas had told them that the temple had once belonged to Mythal and her followers, but he did not know what the temple had been used for. Seeing it now, Rayne could definitely tell that it belonged to the ancient goddess.

The stone was white, either from time in the sun or was purposeful. Standing outside the massive doorway were two towering statues of what looked like a dragon merged with a faceless woman. It was the typical statue that was associated with Mythal. Behemoth trees grew all around trying to hide the true extent of the temple, making it that much more mysterious. The academic in Rayne wanted nothing more than to venture inside, but she knew she wouldn’t get the chance.

It was quite the beautiful set up.

The only thing that marred it: the Red Templars stationed in the shallow river next to the graceful halla statue of _Ghilan’nain._

Their group halted their progress, since they hadn’t been spotted by the Templars yet. They dismounted as quietly as possible, Cullen handed off his horse to a recruit that would be staying back out of the fighting. Rayne knelt next to Elgar, unlike Cullen’s stead he would be joining in the fighting; targeting the Behemoth in the group.

Cullen unsheathed his blade and turned to the men following them, giving them silent orders. They needed to clear this area before the Inquisitor showed up.

He turned to her and gave her a worried smile. “Be careful.” He said softly.

She returned his smile and summoned her battle staff to her hand. “You worry too much.”

He simply shook his head and turned his attention back to their enemy, his face going to stone.

With one final signal, they charged.

Elgar leapt around the Inquisition forces, heading directly for the Behemoth with a savage roar.

Lightning came to Rayne’s fingertips as she cast her first spell.

**And so it begins.**

* * *

* * *

 

He looked around the skirmish as the final Red Templars, and the few Venatori that had come out of the woods being trailed by strange elves that killed Inquisition and Corypheus forces alike.

Alec finally found Cullen. It was hard for him to find his Commander without his coat. They must have been fighting for so long that Cullen decided to toss it aside. Or it had been destroyed. He noted the gashes in Cullen’s armor, where a blade tried to cut through cloth and leather to be met with chainmail. The ex-Templar had a very slight limp in his step, which said at least one blade or spell had gotten through.

At least one Inquisition soldier lay dead in the shallow waters, which Alec took as a blessing. **How long had they been fighting?** He asked himself in dismay. He knew they had taken too long to get here. And he worried what they would find.

But the group had held up remarkably well, even with the occasional Corypheus reinforcement or elf coming out of the trees. The only thing wrong was there was no sign of Rayne.

He had briefly seen Elgar run into the forest after an enemy that was attempting to escape; a corrupted Grey Warden by the looks of it. But no sign of his mistress. Did she run in there as well?

When the last enemy was taken down Alec stood in the middle of the carnage trying to catch his breath.

“Well fought, Inquisitor.” Cullen said approaching, rolling his shield arm.

“And you, Commander.” He replied. “I’m just sorry we took so long.”

Cullen pointed behind him. “The temple is just a through there. I’m not sure how many of Corypheus’ people made it through our line of defense.”

Alec nodded and looked around again. “Where is the Captain?”

“She chased after some Red Templars that escaped the fighting and ran towards the temple.” Worry briefly flashed in the Commander’s eyes, finally realizing she had been gone far longer than she should have.

He tried to give Cullen a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, I’m sure she’s just… scouting more of the area.” But even that sounded false to him. They both knew Rayne wouldn’t leave them all in a fight alone.

Cullen gave a half smile that fell almost as instantly as it came when he spun around to the sound of splashing water.

More of Corypheus’ reinforcements trickled down the river.

“Go, Inquisitor. We will hold them off.”

“Hold strong, Commander!” Alec called to him, motioning to his group to go to the temple. “Wait, where’s Morrigan?”

“She already headed to the temple, Inquisitor.” Solas replied and headed that direction himself.

By the time they climbed the ancient stone steps leading up to the temple Alec could hear the clash of metal and the sounds of magic being cast.

They found Rayne standing outside the temple, the body of a Red Templar at her feet as she stood still looking at the ancient ruins.

“Rayne?” Alec asked confused.

She didn’t respond, so he approached warily.

Her eyes were latched onto the temple entrance. Its door wide open for them to enter, he saw Morrigan waiting impatiently within the long corridor.

When Rayne still didn’t acknowledge his presence, Alec touched her shoulder. “Rayne, are you alright?”

He felt her body stiffen under his hand as she blinked rapidly as if coming out of a vision. She turned to him. “Forgive me, Inquisitor.”

Alec frowned. “Is everything okay?”

She grimaced in thought and briefly turned her attention back to the temple before bringing it fully back to him. “Yes, it’s just… It’s hard to explain. I felt a pull. As if… I had been here before.”

“Have you?”

She shook her head. “I’ve never been this far south in Orlais.”

He hummed in thought and eyed the ruins, vaguely noting that Morrigan was getting increasingly more agitated. Whereas Solas was waiting patiently, content getting lost in examining the walls and the carvings. Cole and Dorian stood nearby the elf; Cole shifting on his feet and Dorian analyzing the ruins with Blackwall overseeing them all and watching the surrounding area for threats.

“You had best hurry Inquisitor.” Rayne said. “I know Corypheus and Samson are already inside. I’m not sure how far they have gotten. I’m sure the temple is fighting back.”

“Fighting back?”

She closed her eyes. “Can’t you feel it?”

He frowned but followed suit.

“The power within.”

Alec slowly pushed out with his mind to see if he could feel what she did. Finally he was able to pick up on it.

“It was sleeping.” Rayne whispered. “It’s slowly starting to awaken to the intruders.”

He opened his eyes and looked at Rayne, watching her face until she finally opened her eyes again.

She turned to him. “A word of caution, Inquisitor: The old magic is awakening, you would do well to respect it. Or else find yourself within the teeth of a beast.”

He nodded. “Agreed.” He took a few steps forward…

“And Inquisitor?” Rayne softly called, trying not to draw too much attention.

He turned back to her and raised any eyebrow.

“Be wary of Morrigan.” She gently warned.

“And here I thought you two were getting along finally.” He quipped.

Rayne smirked in amusement. “Aye, we are. But that doesn’t mean I trust her, especially around magic like this. She would no doubt commend me on that. She fully admits that one shouldn’t fully trust her.” Her smile fell. “Just be careful.”

“And you, Captain.”

The yell of a man in pain caused her to spin around. “Good luck, Inquisitor!” She called over her shoulder and ran back to Cullen and his men.

Alec watched as she went to the rise above the river. A bluish-green aura formed around her before she pushed it out, he recognized the barrier spell and her sending it to her allies. Lightning formed at the top of her staff as she spun it in her hand before slamming it back to the ground with the sound of crackling lightning. Bolts of electricity cracked across the area in front of her, lighting up her features. Cries of pain erupted in the area before she jumped back down into the river to join the fray.

He finally turned back to the temple and ran to his group.

“Finally.” Morrigan said in annoyance. “We shouldn’t tarry, Inquisitor.”

“Sorry, Rayne was just… giving me some advice before entering.”

The witch rolled her eyes. “Because _she_ is the expert on such matters.” She said sarcastically before turning away and leading them down the corridor.

“You’d be surprised.” Alec whispered in amusement.

Cole looked up at him under his hat, a small smile of delight on his lips. Indicating he knew exactly what he and Rayne had spoken about.

Alec held up a finger to his lips and followed after Morrigan.

“I hear fighting ahead.” Morrigan said in a raised voice.

The group picked up their pace.

Only to have to practically skid to a halt right before exiting when they all felt the presence of Corypheus.

They slowly stalked forward, hunching down and clinging to shadows to avoid detection.

Alec couldn’t help but gape at everything within. It wasn’t anything like he had seen before. It was an open area, untouched by man or elf in who knew how many centuries, white mist clinging to everything. He saw the now familiar statues of the dragon-like woman, faded naturally from time; vines of flora wrapping around them. Beautiful vibrant green trees trying to hide the secret temple that lay on the other side of a beautiful stone bridge with matching dragon statues standing guard at the closest end.

More astounding was the behemoth tree on the other side of the bridge in the heart of the temple. Its top most branches so high they disappeared into the clouds.

The only thing befouling the perfect serenity of the area was Corypheus with a group of Red Templars, Grey Wardens and Samson.

Samson stood at the forefront, glaring at the elves on the bridge that led deeper into the temple. Alec had asked Solas about the fact that all the elves bore the same markings. He explained they were all _vallaslin_ of Mythal, which made sense. Since the temple was supposed to be dedicated to the goddess.

The elves were not like any Alec had ever seen. For one, they looked taller than most elves he had come across, which was strange. They all had fair skin, which said they didn’t see much of the sun. They also all wore identical form fitting golden plate armor. He was amazed by the craftsmanship. He had never seen plate so exquisitely crafted and to fit so perfecting on their tall lithe forms was astounding. They were all very well trained, not just in sword and bow, but also magic.

Alec and his group crouched behind an arched stone railing to hide themselves. Listening to the confrontation between Corypheus’ people and the elves.

One elf on the bridge took a step forward, never going past the states that acted as stone guards. He said something in elvish that Alec didn’t understand. And, if truth be told, sounded nothing like the elvish he was used to hearing elves use.

“They still think to fight us, Master.” Samson said to Corypheus.

The ancient darkspawn stalked forward, Alec could tell that his patience was wearing thin. “These are just remnants. They will not keep us from the Well of Sorrows.”

Alec tilted his head as confusion grew inside of him. He turned to Morrigan, “The Well of Sorrows?” He whispered harshly, thinking that the witch had conveniently forgotten to tell them something vital.

But she shrugged helplessly. At the moment, Alec had no choice but to believe her.

He didn’t have time to think any more about it. Corypheus pushed forward, causing the twin dragon statues to alight with power. The power that both he and Rayne had felt. But that did not deter the darkspawn.

“Be honored.” Corypheus said to the elves. “Witness death at the hands of a new god.”

The leading elf stepped back, allowing Corypheus to come further onto the bridge. Triggering the trap unleashed by the statues. Massive amounts of magical energy surged out of them, hitting Corypheus directly. But he didn’t let that stop his stride. He reached out and grasped the closest elf, his long taloned hands wrapping easily around the elf’s head. The elf tried in vain to break free from Corypheus’ clutches, but it was no use.

Just when Alec thought the magical trap would be pointless against Corypheus, something interesting – and somewhat grotesque – happened.

The magic began to _eat_ away at Corypheus. Removing layer after layer of flesh until all that was left was a morbid skeleton being held up by the magical energy that was killing him.

And then… an explosion.

It rocked the entire area, causing Alec and his group to fall back.

He tried sitting back up, but had to halt long enough to hold his head waiting for the ringing in his ears to stop. It amazed him how he managed to retain his hearing with all the explosions and knocks to the head he had taken over the years with the Inquisition.

Finally the ringing stopped and he was able to stand, with slight aid from Dorian who he hadn’t realized had run to his side at some point.

Alec’s heart fell at the sight of the destruction to the once beautiful bridge. Both dragon statues obliterated, most of the fragments no doubt falling into the pool below. The bodies of the elves were strung across, at least one had been thrown over into the water as well. As for Corypheus’ people, there were quite a few Red Templar and Grey Warden bodies, whether all of them were dead or simply unconscious he didn’t know. But across the bridge Samson still led a small party of Red Templars with him.

Samson briefly turned back to Alec and sneered before heading into the elven temple.

 **He still plans on going through with whatever plan Corypheus had? Even though his Master is now dead?** Alec questioned to himself.

But just as he thought that, he felt the familiar evil force of Corypheus and heard the sounds of someone moving behind him.

He and Morrigan turned to the bodies that lay behind them just as one of the Grey Warden bodies began to move. Not only move but rapidly became corrupted.

Alec approached, fascinated by whatever was transpiring. That was until black corruption surged from the Wardens’ mouth and his body began ripping apart from within. Familiar long taloned hands and arms burst from his body. And that’s when Alec knew: it was Corypheus. Being reborn through this Grey Warden.

Morrigan gasped in horror. “It cannot be!”

Corypheus finally fully burst through the husk that had once been an honorable Grey Warden, covered in black corruption and screeching at the sky.

Alec was jolted from his panic at seeing Corypheus reborn by the sounds of flapping gigantic wings. He knew what that was. “Across the bridge!” He yelled to his group who were still in a state of shock. He pushed Morrgian in the direction of the bridge when she refused to budge. “NOW!”

They all finally began running. They were almost to the entrance when the archdemon flew over the mountains and quickly descended down upon them, breathing a stream of fire.

“Close the gates!” Alec ordered once inside.

It wasn’t an easy feat. The doors were massive and made of solid stone.

They barely got the doors closed as flames hit the doors, sealing the doors with magic causing a few in the group to be pushed back by the force of the blast.

Alec bent over and gasped for breath. “Well,” he gasped out. “This is bad.”


	132. Amell/Trevelyan

She crouched down in the water to wash the blood from her hands as her knuckles moved back into place. She had miscalculated on one of her attacks, which caused an enemy to come up behind her, forcing her to have to punch through the chest of a Red Templar with the aid of magic. Luckily for her his body hadn’t fully petrified. But he was wearing plate. So not only did she punch through armor, but bone, cartilage, muscle and whatever else came between her hand and the heart.

If there was one thing Rayne hated about fighting hand to hand, it was getting blood under the fingernails. It was a pain to get it out.

Her mind was calm and she didn’t know if that was good or not. She remembered a time when she had a hard time killing anything, even darkspawn. She remembered the first time she went up against a darkspawn and how she nearly froze. All the books at the Circle hadn’t prepared her for anything she encountered during that year. If it hadn’t been for Alistair and the others, she probably would have died collecting that darkspawn blood for her ritual.

And when she killed her first human… she thought she was going to be sick. She barely held it together, but had managed to hold strong. As the year went by and she fought more… killed more… it became easier.

Now here she was: her mind and heart both calm. Taking a life no longer bothered her as much as it did once. It wasn’t as if she didn’t feel anything at all, she still hated killing innocent people who had no choice or were being manipulated. But looking at the bodies of the Venatori that were willingly working for Corypheus to try to bring back the old Tevinter Imperium, and the Red Templars she felt… nothing. She knew some, more than likely most, of the Templars had been conned into taking the red lyrium. But she knew a good portion _chose_ this.

Rayne sighed heavily as she dug out one of her small knives and began cleaning out her nails.

“Rayne.” Cullen’s voice came from behind her. “Are you all right?”

“Define all right.” She said calmly.

Quiet was his only response to that. He had never seen her actually fight. He heard stories of course, or had seen her in the aftermath of a battle such as at the Tower or a few times in Kirkwall. She couldn’t help but wonder what she looked like to people that looked on as she fought. Judging by Cullen’s concern, she figured it was probably frightening.

She heard the splashing of water as he moved in front of her, but she didn’t raised her eyes from her task.

“Guess I should be glad I didn’t wear my ring. Andraste only knows what punching in a man’s chest would have done to it.” She nodded to her shredded glove that laid on a nearby rock. “Considering that wouldn’t have offered much protection for it.”

Cullen crouched to be eye level. “That’s it?”

“What else is there?” She asked.

He took her hands into his, stopping what she was doing. “Rayne. Look at me, please.”

She softly sighed and finally looked at him. “Is something wrong?”

“You tell me?” Cullen asked, worry in his eyes.

“I’m fine.” She said honestly.

“That’s what bothers me.”

Rayne closed her eyes and rubbed the side of her nose trying to hide her annoyance. “It shouldn’t.”

“No?”

“No.” She tried to keep the sharpness out of her voice. “Cullen… look, I can’t afford to be bothered by this anymore. I had to let that go… a long time ago. Or be destroyed by it. When I’m out here, I become someone different.”

She paused looking at the bodies being moved out of the river by some of the soldiers, they were trying to keep the Red Templars from contaminating the river too badly.

She chuckled darkly. “I don’t know. Maybe I am bothered by the fact that I’m not bothered by it. But I’m also scared by the fact that this,” she waved to the carnage. “Feels normal.” She shook her head and looked down at her hands. “When did that happen?” She asked softly, not really expecting an answer.

Not that they had any more time.

Rayne rose to her feet. “More are coming. With a few mages it feels like.”

* * *

* * *

 

Something caught his attention at the corner of his eye. He turned to the fleeing form of Abelas running to the raised island. Magic stairs formed allowing him access to the Well of Sorrow above, and a black raven that was Morrigan following him close behind.

“Abelas!” Alec called trying to stop the ancient elf.

But he continued, forcing Alec to run after.

At the top Abelas was forced to stop in his plan in trying to destroy The Well, thanks to Morrigan shapeshifting back to her human form.

Morrigan finally noticed Alec. “You heard his parting words, Inquisitor. The elf seeks to destroy the Well of Sorrows!”

 **Well, looks like Rayne was right about her need for power.** Alec thought in dismay. It was hard not to notice Morrigan’s interest in the Well of Sorrows when they learned it was some kind of ancient elven power. None of them, not even Morrigan, had known what The Well really was. They _still_ didn’t know. The witch only knew it was ancient, it was powerful and it had to be preserved. Preferably by her so it would seem.

Abelas turned to Alec, a scowl of frustration and annoyance on his face. The dark green _vallaslin_ on his face making him looking fierce under his hood where his golden eyes peered out at them. “So the sanctum is despoiled at last.” His voice was heavy with not only displeasure but sorrow.

Morrigan’s face was twisted in disgust. “You would have destroyed the Well yourself, given the chance.”

“To keep it from your grasping fingers!” Abelas nearly snapped, but he managed to keep his voice level, despite his own frustration. “Better to be lost than bestowed upon the underserving!”

“Fool!” Morrigan said sharply. “You’d let your people’s legacy rot in the shadows!”

Alec was done. “Enough!” He snapped at Morrigan.

She spun on him, her face contorted in anger. “You cannot honestly—“

He took an assertive step toward her. “I said, enough!”

Alec could practically see her grinding her teeth, no doubt debating about whether she should push it.

But she finally backed down and looked between him and Abelas as if trying to decide on a different tactic.

Abelas watched them closely to the point Alec was beginning to feel uneasy.

Finally Morrigan decided her new course, she practically became flirty. “The Well clearly offers power, Inquisitor. If that power can be turned against Corypheus, can you afford not to use it?”

Alec was hesitant to admit she had a point. They now knew Corypheus was practically immortal, they had no idea how to defeat him so long as he could transfer himself to any blighted creature. At least now he knew _why_ Corypheus had wanted the Wardens. It was easier to maintain mind-controlled Wardens than it was to try controlling mindless darkspawn.

Abelas shook his head. “Do you even know what you ask?” He turned the Well. “As each servant of Mythal reached the end of their years, they would pass their knowledge on… through this.”

Alec finally looked at the Well and the area surrounding it. It was a decently sized pool, but it didn’t look too deep. The outside was decorative white stone with patches of grass, flowers and weeds growing through cracks. And then there were a few _eluvians_ , most of which were broken or inactive. All except one.

Abelas turned back to Alec, trying to get the _shemlen_ to understand. “All that we were. All that we knew. It would be lost forever.”

Alec hesitated before answering. He saw the wonder of this place, but he also saw pain. Pain of the years that had gone by with so little life truly running through it. It was a memory of what it once was.

“It can’t be easy,” Alec said softly. “Holding onto what’s left.”

“You cannot imagine. Each time we awaken, it slips further from our grasp.”

“Why remain?” Morrigan finally asked. “Why perform a duty without purpose?”

Abelas shook his head as if he were speaking to a child who would never understand, and perhaps they couldn’t. “Our duty is all that remains.”

“There are other places, friend.” Solas finally spoke for the first time. “Other duties. Your people yet linger.”

Abelas studied Solas a moment. “Elvhen such as you?”

Alec frowned at the choice of words. He admitted that Solas was different from any elf he had met, but was he _that_ different to be considered a whole different race of elf?

“Yes, such as I.” Solas said.

The ancient elf paused and looked at the Well, clearly in deep thought. Finally he spoke. “You have shown respect to Mythal, and there is a righteousness in you I cannot deny.” He turned his attention back to Alec. “Is that your desire? To partake of the _vir’abelasan_ as best you can, to fight your enemy?”

Alec tilted his head in thought. “Gifts like this don’t come freely.”

Abelas nearly smirked. “No boon of Mythal was ever granted without a cost.” He paced a bit as if struggling with his choice. “The _vir’abelasan_ may be too much for a mortal to comprehend. Brave it if you must, but know this: you shall be bound forever to the will of Mythal.”

Morrigan scoffed. “Bound? To a goddess who no longer exists, if she ever did?”

Abelas looked to her in clear annoyance, it was obvious he didn’t care for the swamp witch. “Bound, as we are bound. The choice is yours.”

Alec swallowed with nervousness. “Is it possible Mythal might still exist?”

“Anything is possible.”

“Elven legend states that Mythal was tricked by Fen’Harel and banished to the Beyond.” Morrigan said, as if Abelas was in need of lesson. Alec had to resist the urge to roll his eyes.

“’Elven’ legend is wrong.” Abelas said in disgust. “The Dread Wolf had nothing to do with her murder.”

That shocked Morrigan. “Murder? I said nothing of—“

“She was slain,” he interrupted. “If a god truly can be. Betrayed by those who destroyed this temple. Yet the _vir’abelasan_ remains. As do we. That is something.”

“Are you leaving the temple?” Alec asked.

“Our duty ends. Why remain?”

“There is a place for you, _lethallin.”_ Solas offered. “If you seek it.”

Abelas didn’t look fully convinced. “Perhaps there are places the _shemlen_ have not touched. It may be that only _Uthenera_ awaits us. The blissful sleep of eternity, never to awaken. If Fate is kind.”

“You could come with us.” Alec said. He felt terrible. Perhaps he could offer Abelas and his fellows a new purpose. “Fight Corypheus. He killed your people.”

Abelas looked almost thankful for the offer. “We killed ourselves, long ago.”

 _“Malas amelin ne halam,_ Abelas.” Solas said.

Abelas smiled and nodded. With that, the ancient elf departed from them.

“His name, Abelas.” Solas said a bit sadly. “It means sorrow.”

Alec thought about the elven name for the Well of Sorrow, _vir’abelasan._ **Abelas.** Alec thought.

“I said: I hope you find a new name.” Solas finished.

Alec felt sad for the elves at the Temple. They may have lived outside of the world for centuries, but they had purpose. Now that was gone, thanks to Corypheus… and the Inquisition.

He and Morrigan exchanged glances, he partially blamed her for this as well. She didn’t care that they had all but cast out the elves from their homes. She only cared for her prize.

But he held his tongue on such thoughts and turned to the Well. **Well of Sorrows, indeed.** He thought heavily.

“You’ll note the intact _eluvian_. I was correct on that count, at least.” Morrigan said almost arrogantly.

“Yeah, and that’s all that matters.” He mumbled under his breath. “Is it still a threat?” He asked louder. “Can Corypheus use it to travel the Fade?”

“You recall when I took you through my _eluvian_ , I said each required a key?” She nodded to the Well. “The Well _is_ the key. Take its power, and Mythal’s last _eluvian_ will be no more use to Corypheus than glass.”

Alec watched as she gazed deep into the pool, almost seeming to get lost in its shallow depths.

“I did not expect the Well to feel so… hungry.” She said in almost awe.

“Seems like that should be a concern.” Alec said as a light warning.

“Knowledge begets a hunger for more.” She said wistfully and then turned to him. “I am willing to pay the price the Well demands. I am also the best suited to use its knowledge in your service.”

 ** _Be careful._** Rayne’s voice echoed in his head.

“Or more likely, to your own ends.” Solas growled.

“What would you know of my ‘ends’, elf?” Morrigan hissed.

“You are a glutton drooling at the sight of a feast. You cannot be trusted.”

Alec found it amusing how Solas and Rayne were at odds at present, but they both agreed that Morrigan couldn’t be trusted.

“Of those present, I alone have the training to make use of this. Let me drink, Inquisitor.” Morrigan said to Alec.

He frowned. “’You alone’? You’re not the only mage here.”

She frowned in annoyance. “I have studied the oldest lore. I have delved into mysteries of which you could only dream! Can you _honestly_ tell me there is anyone better suited?”

“What about you, Solas?” He asked. If there was anyone here that could be better suited and deserving, it would be Solas.

“No.” Solas said right away, more forcefully than Alec would have expected. “Do not ask me again.”

Alec found it odd that he declined, but didn’t press it at present. “What about you, Dorian?”

“A human from Tevinter scoops up the last bits of Elven knowledge?” He said in amusement. “I know why you ask. I know it’s important, but… I can’t be that man.”

 **Fair enough.** He thought to himself. He finally shrugged, “I would be.”

Morrigan shook her head. “You lead the Inquisition. This is not a risk you can take. Give me this, and I fight at your side. I shall be your sword.”

Alec couldn’t decide yet. “Thoughts?” He asked his group.

“I don’t want to risk losing you to a well.” Dorian said.

“She is right about only one thing,” Solas said. “We should take the power which lies in that well.”

“I’d trust you with this power than her…” Blackwall said. “But it is not for me to decide.

“So many voices.” Cole quietly warned. “They would be in your head, talking over you. You don’t want them.”

“Enough deliberation.” Morrigan interrupted, not wanting to hear anything more.

Dorian and Cole both didn’t want him to. Rayne, Blackwall and Solas knew giving that power to Morrigan was a bad idea. **What is the right choice?** He moaned inside his thoughts.

Finally he closed his eyes trying to wrestle his thoughts. He came to a decision, “If anyone is to use the Well, it will be me.”

He saw the instant rage on Morrigan’s face, Dorian and Cole’s disappointment, and Solas seemed upset which was perplexing.

“So you will take what little knowledge you can understand, and let the rest go to waste?” Morrigan snapped.

“And who’s to say it will go to waste?” He asked lightly.

She either didn’t notice the light-heartedness or was too upset to care. “I do.” She turned to the Well, looking at it with longing. But finally her body relaxed. “Perhaps it is better this way.” She said softly. “Do as you will with the Well of Sorrows, Inquisitor. But be careful.”

He nodded and took a steadying breath before walking into the Well. **No turning back now.**

* * *

 

 _“Fetis bei umo canavarum._ If you don’t come through this, I swear I’ll kill you.” Dorian’s voice penetrated the darkness.

Alec slowly opened his eyes and then the voices came. Whispers spoke at first in a language he couldn’t understand. But as he rose to his feet that whispers began to make sense.

Dorian stood close by with a look that he wanted to go to his lover, but was unsure if he should. “Not dead! Well, _that’s_ a relief. So… good? Bad? I’m dying to know.” His sarcasm masking his fear.

Alec waved him off, indicating he was going to fine. A white mist formed around him, expanding until it touched the others of his group. And then came the warning. The whispers frantically telling him that danger was coming.

He looked across the valley to where they came in just as Corypheus entered.

The ancient magister looked around and then his eyes fell on them. Pure anger and hatred filled his features at having lost his prize and then _flew_ across the valley to seek his vengeance.

Alec started backing away slowly. “To the mirror.” He said, not taking his eyes off Corypheus. No one moved. “Now!” He barked and spun around, activating the mirror.

The others bolted for the mirror, each one running into it. Alec waited last, making sure everyone got through.

Just when he thought he would be caught by Corypheus the Well activated. The water churned and then thrust into the air as a water pillar and inside was the form of a woman, standing like a guard for Alec.

He nearly stood there in shock but he shook himself and then jumped into the mirror, and into the Crossroads.


	133. Amell

The sun had long since set by the time she was finally able to steal away to a nearby waterfall, the moonlight and stars acting as her only guide through the forest. She ran her fingers through her hair as she plunged under the cool water to start the process of washing off all the sweat, dirt and blood – most of which wasn’t hers – from her body.

Rayne replayed some of the events of the day in her head as she just stood under the cascade of water. It all streamed together as one big fight after Alec entered the temple, and they managed to keep any reinforcements from getting inside. And then something interesting happened: the enemy started acting chaotic, especially the Wardens still left. They began acting like puppets with their strings severed, unsure of what to do.

They didn’t know what caused it at first. And then they heard and saw Corypheus’ archdemon fly over head with Corypheus riding. That meant that Alec had secured the mirror. All that was left was clean up and waiting for the Inquisitor to exit the temple.

But as the remainder of the day slipped away there was no sign of Alec or anyone else that went in with him. They may not have seen the group but the strange elves had stopped attacking Inquisition forces or disappeared altogether.

Once their area was clear Cullen and Rayne had gone into the temple. They saw the bodies and decimated bridge, no doubt the result of the explosion they heard soon after Alec initially entered. They crossed the bridge and were halted by the closed stone doors. No matter how much they pushed, pulled or any spells cast against it, it didn’t budge.

When Leliana showed up not even her spies could find another entrance to find the Inquisitor. That’s when the panic started. Luckily Leliana and Josephine worked to slow down the rumors spreading through the ranks about Alec’s disappearance, but it was growing increasingly harder.

Those in Alec’s inner circle had set up camp outside the temple. Cullen, Leliana, Josephine, Rayne and Cassandra had gathered to try to come up with ideas to get inside. All that did was lead to an argument.

At some point Rayne had left in frustration. She needed to get some fresh air so had gone back to the closed gate. She stood there for a while, her eyes simply inspecting the strange symbols and ancient elven that she couldn’t read.

At least, at first.

The longer she stood there staring at it all her vision became unfocused. Her body relaxed, her mind began to wander. Or more accurately, her mind started to… penetrate the ancient magic of the door. Before she realized it she was stepping up to the door and pressing her hand against the cool stone.

Then came the visions. She saw the strange elven puzzles that Alec and the others had undergone to unlock the heart of the temple. Mentions of something called the Well of Sorrows. The fight with Samson, the confrontation with the ancient elf Abelas and finally Alec stepping into the Well and… something happened. Rayne was unsure what exactly.

It was a lot to take in and she ended up blacking out.

Luckily it wasn’t for long. Leliana had found her laying on the ground outside the now opened gate into the temple. Rayne spent the next few hours telling them what she saw and Cullen dispatched a group into the temple to claim Samson.

Now they knew Alec and the others had gone through the _eluvian._ The question still remained: where are they going to end up? They assumed Skyhold, but how long would it take? Hours? Days? How vast were the Crossroads that Morrigan and Alec spoke about? Was there anything within that would hinder them?

None of them had answers. They could only head back to Skyhold and hope the Inquisitor would be there or show up soon.

Then there had been the issue of Rayne’s visions. How had she seen all that? When she had told them that it had been Falon’s doing from the Fade, Cullen had been less than enthusiastic. Even when she assured him that she hadn’t been possessed. All Falon had done was expand his power and energy into her. It had connected with the ancient elven magic in the temple, not only allowing her open the gate but she now could read the elven writings – albeit in bits and pieces. But it was something.

Truthfully, Rayne had been thrilled by this new knowledge she could uncover. Cullen… not so much.

She sighed heavily and closed her eyes, simply enjoying the feel of the water. She couldn’t remember the last time she bathed by waterfall. She remembered the first time she had to. It was during the Blight, after they had left Lothering. She had been so shy back then. The thought of Alistair or Sten finding her had terrified her.

But the moment she went under that crashing water her fear washed away with along with the grime. Bathing by waterfall became her favorite way after that and she took every opportunity to. It was a perk for her traveling as much as they did.

Rayne ran her hands over her body, her eyes still closed. The thing about fighting it didn’t make her tired. It made her body feel like electricity was coursing through it. And there was only one remedy for that as she came to find out.

A sigh escaped her lips as her hands rubbed over her sensitive breasts. Her fingers pinching her nipples, gently at first and then gradually harder, occasionally twisting them until they stiffened.

She ran her hands down her body, trying to ignore the newer stretch marks. **_A tiger with stipes,_** as Nathaniel had called her once. They would eventually fade to the point they were negligible. Her hands glided over her hips until she cupped her sex.

Her fingers traced the slit, teasing, tantalizing.

She sucked in her lower lip between her teeth as she finally slid two fingers between her wet lower lips until they came to the bundle of nerves. She pressed firm circles into her clit causing a muffled moan to try to escape.

Rayne was so lost in the growing ecstasy that she didn’t hear him coming up behind and join her in the falls. She didn’t know he was there until she felt his fingers on her back. She felt them glide over her scars, top to bottom. She didn’t have to question who it was, she knew his touch as if it were her own.

Cullen’s hands wrapped around her hips, his hardened length pressing against her backside. He pressed his lips against her shoulder, making a trail of kisses across to the other. “I was beginning to worry about you.” He whispered against her.

She tilted her head back, laying it against his shoulder. “I can _feel_ how much you were worried about me.” She said lightly.

“I was. Then I saw you here… and well.”

“And now you want to help me feel better?” She offered.

She felt his lips curve against her skin. “Something like that.” He said as one of his hands traveled down until it cupped her hand that had been performing its task, finally putting it to a stop.

Rayne groaned in protest, she had been so close.

She didn’t get a chance to complain though. Cullen pushed her forward; her arms came out to brace herself against the stone behind the falls. One of his hands went between her legs, coaxing them to spread; she eagerly did so.

Cullen chuckled at her enthusiasm. “So, are you like this after every fight?” He asked in a light tone laced with hunger.

Rayne looked over her shoulder to see him out of the corner of her eye. The water crashed down on him, making his blonde hair darker and plastered to his head. Rivulets of water poured down his body like small rivers.

“Maybe.”

“Just maybe?” He asked darkly as he bended her over a bit more. Making sure he had a clear entry.

She looked away from him and bit her lip as she felt the head of his cock rubbed against her opening. Teasing her.

Rayne pushed back against him. She was close to begging.

Thankfully, she didn’t need to. He must have realized how much she needed this, because he didn’t wait anymore.

Cullen thrust hard and fast, she had been surprised by the first thrust and was pushed forward, barely catching herself from face-planting into the stone she used as leverage. When he pulled out and thrust into her again, she no longer thought about that.

All that filled her mind was being filled by Cullen and the feeling of his fingers trying to grip onto wet skin at her hips. All that filled the air was the sound of her moans and whines as she drew closer to her release and the crashing water of the falls drowning them out.

And it would have come, but she began to feel how her feet shifted in the sand and how it was moving her whole body, making it difficult for both of them.

Apparently she wasn’t the only one to notice, or the only one to have problems with the sand. Because the next thing she knew, Cullen was growling and not in his primal love making way.

He abruptly pulled out of her and tugged her back towards him. “Come.” He didn’t wait for her reply. He spun her around and led her to shore.

Rayne took that time to study his naked body. She watched the way his muscles moved, the dimples in one cheek of his ass appeared with each step. It amazed her the things she never noticed before, and she wanted nothing more than to bite that dimple.

Cullen gently pushed her ahead of him when they got to shore. “On the ground.” He ordered.

Rayne obeyed, sitting down and was going to lie on her back.

But he stopped her. “No. On your knees.”

The way he ordered her around made heat spread in her stomach and core.

Moments after she was on all fours, she felt his hand caress one of her cheeks.

And then a sharp slap, the water adding more sting.

Rayne yelped in surprise more than anything else. And Sweet Andraste, she wanted more.

Cullen knew it and gave it.

This wasn’t the sweet slow love making they had become accustomed to. No, this was like the beginning. Primal and needy. The need to fill the ache of want just wanting to be inside of someone or have someone inside of you.

It was hard and fast, now away from the falls there was nothing to muffle either of them. Whines, cries, growls and the occasionally sharp slap echoed in the valley around them; no doubt Leliana’s scouts that had been tasked with searching the area would hear, but neither cared. Let them know that the Commander was fucking his Captain. Let them hear her cry out his name and the cries of ‘Sweet Andraste’ as Rayne was finally pushed over the edge, and brought Cullen along with her.

He bent over her body as his release came with hers. His arms wrapped around her waist holding them tightly together. She continued to press against him as he ground into her, riding out their orgasm. His hot breathe against her back as he moaned caused her to shiver.

Rayne never wanted that high to end. She wanted them to remain so. But like all good things, it did eventually come to an end.

Cullen’s grip around her loosened and he slowly raised and maneuvered away from her.

Her body couldn’t take that position anymore. She practically collapsed in a heap. The fatigue from everything that happened that day, to the fighting, to searching the temple, to this moment, hit hard and fast. She lay down her head in her arms, her eyes already drooping.

“Rayne?” Cullen said her name softly as he laid a gentle hand on her back. All the aggression was gone, replaced by tender love and care.

She almost didn’t reply with her foggy mind already demanding she sleep. “Hmm?” Was all she could muster as her eyes closed.

A small chuckle was his reply. And then he lay down beside her, pressing his slick body next to her and pulled her gently to him. She didn’t fight him as their bodies molded together in that perfect way they did, and when his arm went under her head to act as a pillow for her. He placed a gentle kiss in the nook of her neck before resting his head there.

“I love you.” He whispered softly, his own fatigue settling in.

And that is where they slept the rest of the night. Never waking once, until midmorning to a rather embarrassed – and slightly intrigued by finding his Commander and Captain so – soldier who was finally sent to find them.


	134. Amell/Cullen

Elgar hadn’t even stopped his stride when Rayne slid from his back. Even though she knew she should tend to the saber, there was something even more pressing she had to do.

“Go to the stables, Elgar.” She said pulling off her dirty gloves. “I will be there soon.”

He did as his mistress bid him, as she knew he would.

Rayne practically ran up the stairs to the Keep, already starting the process of removing her outer armor. She knew she should probably wait for Cullen, but he rode further back than she did with their prisoner and who knew how long that was going take for him to finally arrive inside Skyhold. They had been gone for nearly a month and a half, she couldn’t wait any longer.

She didn’t care about all the glances she got as she ran through the Keep, removing armor as she went. She didn’t even think about trying to track down Alec – whom they had received word from the week before that he arrived at Skyhold safely.

There was only one thing that concerned her now as she threw open the door to the Undercroft to begin her search. Luckily, judging by the sound of laughter, she made the right choice. She threw her armor onto the nearest crate, even though what she wore underneath wasn’t as clean as she would have liked, it was a far cry better than the dust, grime and still slightly bloody armor.

Rayne sagged in relief and joy as she finally caught sight of the only other thing that had been on her mind since they had left for the Arbor Wilds.

Davia sat on a blanket near the stairs, away from anything that could be potentially dangerous to a baby of 9 months.

**Andraste’s ass.** Rayne thought to herself as she watched her daughter. **Has it really already been that long?**

Dagna stood nearby watching Davia with wide-eyes, completely oblivious to Rayne entering. And Harritt was at one of the tables working diligently.

Rayne and Dagna both watched as the Davia crawled across the blanket to reach a smaller crate that was filled high with furs. She grabbed ahold of the sides and slowly pulled herself up until she was standing. Rayne watched as her daughter kept her grip tight on the crate and carefully – on slightly wobbly legs – walked around the edge.

Dagna clapped excitedly. “Very good, Davia!”

“It seems I missed a great deal while gone.” Rayne finally said, garnering the attention of all three of them.

Upon seeing her mother, Davia’s face split into a huge toothless smile. In her happiness she looked like she was dancing.

Laughing, Rayne jumped the final stairs and grabbed up her daughter just as the girl let go of the crate in her attempt to reach out. She peppered Davia’s face with kisses as tears pressed into her eyes and her chest constricted with emotion. Rayne knew she missed Davia, but until that moment, she didn’t realize just how much. **Having a new baby was hell to a mother** , she quipped to herself.

Davia’s broken laughs at the kisses were like music to her ears. Oh how she had missed that sound.

“Ah, my big girl.” Rayne sighed finally stopping her attack of kisses. “Standing and everything now. Your father will be so happy.”

“Welcome back, Captain!” Dagna said beaming. “You were missed.”

Rayne ignored the rank. “How was she?”

“She was a bit fussy for the first few days.” The dwarf admitted, which was confirmed by a gruff from Harritt. “But she settled down and has been amazing ever since.”

Rayne chuckled and looked at Davia who was playing with her wind-worn hair. “Oh good, you’re not like your brother.” She quipped.

She remembered how her son was when he was Davia’s age. They had needed money, so she took up security work for nobles. Mostly in the Free Marches. That was how she initially met Vector and the others in Kirkwall. But every time she went on a job she was forced to leave Aiden behind with his nanny, Miss Rose.

And he didn’t take her departure gracefully. He threw a fit for days and then pouted, barely eating anything until her return. To say he was a handful during those periods was an understatement, but Rose had stayed with them through everything, from the very beginning and had been a god-send. She had been the one to deliver Aiden when he was born and had gone with him to Denerim after Kirkwall fell. Rayne learned that Rose had passed less than a year later, dying peacefully in her sleep.

“She adjusted to the goat’s milk fine?” Rayne asked Dagna as she gently pulled her necklace away from her daughter’s grip.

Dagna nodded and grinned. “She really loves sweet potatoes mixed with the milk.”

Rayne smiled and nodded. She turned her attention back to Davia and nuzzled her nose into the baby’s cheek. “I missed you, _ma’vherain.”_

Davia giggled in delight, her mouth wide. Which allowed Rayne to look inside.

“Oh!” She gently pushed the tips of her fingers into her daughter’s mouth. “Someone is teething. This is going to make breast feeding fun.” She said dryly.

“What will make breast feeding fun?” Cullen’s voice cut in.

Davia bounced in Rayne’s arm. She looked up as he pulled one of his gloves off, smiling down at his wife and daughter. Davia reached forward, trying desperately to reach Cullen.

“I think you were missed.” Rayne said tenderly.

He chuckled ruefully and came down, finally taking his eager daughter. “I missed her too.”

Rayne watched Cullen rub his stubble covered cheek against Davia’s causing her to squeal in delight. She gave them a few moments before speaking again, her mood sobered. “Is the prisoner secured?”

Cullen’s smile briefly wavered, nearly replaced with a frown. But Davia placed her hands on his cheeks, eyes wide, marveling at the stubble there; which brought a soft smile back to his face. “He is.”

“Did he say anything on the trip here?”

He shook his head. “No. He remained quiet the entire time. He… His spirit is broken as much as his armor is.” He sighed heavily. “We should go find the Inquisitor.”

Rayne nodded in agreement.

Cullen smiled good-naturedly at Dagna, “I’m stealing my daughter back.”

* * *

* * *

 

It was slightly hard to concentrate during the meeting with a child vying for his attention, but he insisted he be the one to hold onto Davia. Rayne was more than willing; she stood at the other side of the War Table with an amused smile on her face beside Alec as he spoke of the events of the Temple and what happened after.

Cullen figured Rayne enjoyed watching her husband and daughter. He didn’t understand at first, be he soon realized it was because she never had to share Aiden, to see how his father would have interacted with him at that young age. When he realized this, a pang of sorrow went out to the Ferelden King. Cullen couldn’t imagine not being part of Davia’s life, to never know her smiles, laughter and touches.

His mind snapped back to the moment as Alec relayed exactly what happened with the Well of Sorrows. Rayne only had seen him walk into it, but she didn’t know what that signified or what happened during the process.

“Hearing voices isn’t necessarily a good thing.” Rayne said dryly when he finished.

“This isn’t your Old Gods whispering in your head, Warden.” Morrigan said.

“No, just the voice of – supposedly – an elven God. Yes, so much better.”

Alec turned to Rayne, folding his arms over his broad chest and a frown of annoyance on his face. “Wasn’t it you that said that I needed to keep things like that _away_ from Morrigan?”

Morrigan’s eyes lit up in anger at that revelation, obviously still not happy about who received what she felt was a gift from the Well. But she held her tongue.

“Yes.” Rayne said nonplussed by the glare she was receiving. “But that didn’t necessarily mean I wanted _you_ to end up with voices in your head, and Andraste knows what else.”

Alec sighed. “I understand there is a risk. But we had to take it. The knowledge we learned on Corypheus alone!”

“Which is?” Cullen asked, shifting Davia as he did so to keep her from squirming out of his arms and actually getting to the War Table to play with the markers.

“His dragon isn’t an archdemon.”

“Something we already knew.” Leliana said.

“Yes, we did know that. But we just assumed it was a Blight infected dragon.” Alec grinned. “We know _how_ he keeps from dying. He invested the dragon with a piece of _himself_. Kill his dragon and he’s vulnerable! He _can_ die!”

“Oh, is that all?” Rayne said sarcastically. “Why didn’t we ever think of that? Oh… wait.”

Leliana frowned at Rayne and turned her attention to Alec. “What she means to say: that is no simple task. Corypheus alone is powerful, but with his dragon…”

"There is a way." Alec said and looked at Morrigan. "But I'll need Morrigan's help."

Morrigan frowned. "The voices from the Well tell you that, do they?" She asked sarcastically and shook her head. "Very well, Inquisitor. Speak to me when you are ready to begin this plan of yours." With that she turned and left the room.

They all watched her a moment and then Josephine spoke. “Are you… certain of this?

Alec looked down at the map, his shoulder drooped. He took a deep breath and looked back up. “We have no choice. If Corypheus comes here now…”

Cullen frowned and nodded. “I’ll see to Skyhold’s defenses in the meantime.”

* * *

 

He climbed the stairs to their room, reading over the recent status report from the Arbor Wilds from the small group they left behind to investigate the ruins. He needed to speak to Rayne about how best they may use the mages in the defense of Skyhold.

“There must be something else. Some way to salvage…” Leliana’s distinctive voice came from Rayne’s office.

“It’s hair, Leliana.” Rayne’s voice replied. “It will grow back. And I refuse to go around with singed hair.”

Cullen frowned and entered.

Davia sat on the floor, playing with the multi-colored wooden toy blocks Josephine had ordered from Val’Royeaux. Rayne sat in a chair in the middle of the room as Crysta held a mirror and Leliana stood over Rayne with a pair of shears.

Cullen was confused until Rayne parted her hair to her left side revealing the hair underneath on the right, above her ear, was considerably shorter and burned. “What… happened?” He asked in bewilderment.

Rayne’s eyes ticked to him in the mirror to see him by his reflection. “Just a mishap with potion making in the Undercroft.”

He had heard a small explosion in the direction of the Undercroft earlier, but had thought nothing of it, thinking it was Dagna experimenting again.

“Mixed a volatile ingredient in with my potion and well.” She motioned to her hair. “I’m lucky I didn’t lose an ear.”

Crysta flushed, making Cullen think that the she may have been the cause of wrong the ingredient. But Rayne wouldn’t mention that. He studied his wife and how her hair had burned away, trying to figure out just _how_ it got the hair that was underneath. Then he realized she must have had her hair bound back in a ponytail during the explosion.

“Was anyone hurt?” His eyes ticked down to Davia, but she looked fine and continued to play, completely obviously to the conversation.

Rayne followed his gaze and frowned. “I wouldn’t be so reckless as to have my daughter around while potion making. And no, no one was hurt… that I couldn’t heal.”

“What?”

She sighed. “My hand was a bit… scorched. But it’s fine now.”

Leliana shook her head. “A bit scorched, she says.” She snorted and tilted Rayne’s head to the side to get better access.

Cullen had no doubts that Rayne’s ‘little scorch’ was far worse than she let on. But there was no point in kicking a dead horse. She looked no worse for wear, other than her hair, that is. “So, what do you plan on doing about your hair then.”

Leliana frowned. “She wants be to cut it down to stubble.”

His eyes widened. “Your whole head?”

“Of course not.” The Spymaster sniffed. “I would never agree to that.”

Rayne rolled her eyes. “As if you could have stopped me from finding someone else if you said I wanted it that way.”

Leliana ignored her and began cutting away the burned hair. “I’m just cutting down the portion that is ruined.” She stopped cutting. “Do you plan on wearing your hair like this?”

“Leliana, will you just cut.” Rayne said in annoyance. “I’ll decide on what to do with it later.”

With a sigh, Leliana started into work.

Cullen shook his head and sat on the floor with Davia. “Well, as entertaining as this is, I came up here to discuss the mages and defenses.”

Rayne waved her hand. “Go ahead. All I’m doing is sitting.”

For the next half hour they discussed how best to use the mages, Crysta even volunteering information on who may be best suited to some tasks, while Leliana continued to work.

Cullen watched the transformation as they spoke, a bit sad that the longer hair that he managed to convince Rayne to grow out was being hacked away. But also was intrigued on how it shaped her face having that bit on the side gone.

When she sat up right and looked herself over, he did too. Marveling how her face looked rounder, softer and younger on one side. Yet more mature and edgier on the other.

“I like that.” He said, amazed that he actually did.

Rayne tilted her head back and forth. “Yeah, so do I.”

Leliana shook her head in exasperation and set the shears on the table. “Fereldans.”

Rayne smirked. “Maybe I’ll do the rest of my hair in little braids and…”

“Don’t you dare.” Leliana warned. “Last thing we need is for you to look like an Avvar—“

She was cut off as a soldier burst into the room, heaving trying to gain breath.

“Captain Rayne! You must come quickly.”

Rayne frowned and stood. “What’s going on?”

He shook his head. “The Inquisitor ordered me to find you and tell you to go to the _Eluvian_. Something about Lady Morrigan chasing after her son into the mirror.”


	135. Amell

She knew immediately that something was wrong.

Rayne looked around, she had never been to the Crossroads, but Alec and Morrigan had described it as ancient and obviously elven in origin. This place was far from that. And worse yet, Rayne recognized it by how it felt.

“You have _got_ to be kidding me.” She said in annoyance. She was in the Fade. _Again._ And this time, she was physically there. She was going to kill Morrigan if this was some ploy.

Rayne slowly walked forward, wary of what may be lingering near. It was the Fade, after all. Physically there or as an aware mage, it didn’t matter; the Fade was a dangerous place no matter what. She idly wondered if she would be able to conjure Falon’s door in the physical plane.

“Morrigan?” Alec’s voice echoed out, breaking the eerie quiet.

Rayne rushed forward and found Alec alone, looking around in bewilderment.

“Alec?” Rayne called.

He spun around and relief filled his face. “Thank the Maker. I was getting worried I wouldn’t find anyone.”

“Technically I found you.” She quipped and approached. “What’s going on? Why are we in the Fade?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. I didn’t even know the _eluvian_ could come here. I knew we were close in the Crossroads, but… As for the other. All I know is that Morrigan and I were talking in the garden. Then we saw a flash of light from the room that held the _eluvian_. We went in just as Keiran went through. Morrigan didn’t even hesitate, she went after him. I managed to get a guard to go get you before I followed. And well… here we are.”

Rayne looked around for any sign of Morrigan or the boy. “Why send for me?” She asked still looking.

He shrugged. “You seemed like the best option.”

She turned back to him. “I’ve never physically been to the Fade.” Her lip curled as she looked around. “And I don’t think I like it. Granted I never liked venturing into the Fade.”

“Why not? And to be fair, I didn’t _know_ we were going to end up in the Fade.” Alec asked.

“My few encounters weren’t pleasant ones.” Was all she said. She sighed. “Alright. Let’s see if we can find them.”

“It shouldn’t be hard… right?” Alec asked with uncertainty.

She gave him a deadpan look. “We’re in the Fade. The possibilities are endless as to where they could be.”

He sighed and then stared at her.

“What?”

“Nice haircut.”

She rolled her eyes and started down the path. “Come on.”

Rayne had to force herself to not show how edgy this place made her. What she had said was true. All of her experiences to the Fade had not been pleasant, to say the least. Her first time was for her Harrowing, like any apprentice Circle mage. Even though she had passed easily enough, it still left a sour taste in her mouth. Mostly because of how unfair the Harrowing seemed.

The second time had been during the Blight, ironically on her first visit back to the tower after leaving to become a Warden. She and her group had been forced into the Fade by a Sloth demon. And then, after the defeat of the Archdemon – during her time in Arling of Amaranthine – again she and her comrades had been forced into the Fade by one of the minions of The Mother. Rayne was still unsure how _that_ one was possible.

Then there was the incident with Vector, when they helped a young elf. Rayne couldn’t remember his name anymore. She only knew that he had said he was going to Tevinter, to learn how control his powers as a Dreamer. She wondered if he ever made it, and if he was able to learn to control his power.

Rayne and Alec didn’t speak after that, both fearful that the least bit of noise would bring enemies down on them. Luckily they didn’t run into anything during their search. Something that puzzled Rayne. She thought for certain that they would have at least run into a demon or two.

Finally, they spotted Morrigan. She stood in the middle of a clearing, alone. Judging by how rigid she was, Rayne figured she was near hysterics.

“Why would Keiran do this?” She heard Morrigan say, seemingly to no one in particular. “ _How_ could he do this? We stand in the Fade. To direct the _eluvian_ here would require immense power.”

Rayne was equally as confused. Keiran seemed an adept young mage, but to pull this off? It seemed a little out of his league.

“If he is lost to me, now after all I have sacrificed…” Morrigan continued.

Alec went to her side. “We’ll find him, Morrigan. He can’t be far.” He said, trying to be optimistic.

The edge that was typical on Morrigan’s face returned as she set her eyes on Alec. “The Fade is infinite. He could literally be anywhere.” Despite the harshness in her features, Rayne heard her voice crack. “Whatever happens to him now, ‘tis my doing. I set him on this path.”

Pain gripped at Rayne heart. She could only imagine the pain the witch was going through. If one of her own children… “He’s a smart boy, Morrigan. I’m sure he’s fine.” She finally said.

Morrigan whipped around, noticing Rayne for the first time. “Rayne!”

Her eyes widened at the name, Morrigan had _never_ called her Rayne. Not even during the Blight. And her shock increased when Morrigan gripped her arms and her eyes desperate.

“Please. I know we have never seen eye to eye. But, please, help me look for my son.”

Rayne was shocked with silence at first. Despite everything they had gone through, here Morrigan was, pleading for her help. It shouldn’t have surprised her so much though. Rayne had noticed the change in Morrigan, a change she credited to by becoming a mother.

She took hold of Morrigan’s hands. “Of course, Morrigan. I won’t leave until he’s found.”

Alec’s nodded in agreement. Neither of them would leave a child in here.

Relief seeped into Morrigan’s face. “Thank you.”

Rayne gave her a genuine smile and then they began their search.

It was hard to gauge time in the Fade, since it seemed to stop while there. But outside, in the real world, time went on. And Rayne wondered how long they had been gone. Would Leliana or Cullen send people into the _eluvian_ to search for them just as they did Keiran? Rayne hoped not.

They all felt the shift in the air. Magic being used.

“Could that be Keiran?” Alec asked.

Morrigan shrugged. “Who else could it be?”

“Besides a spirit or demon?” Rayne offered.

They hesitantly made their way in the direction they felt the magic coming from.

It wasn’t long before they saw two figures. One standing above another that was kneeling, surrounded by a wall of stone and a rather morbid statue that looked to have blood flowing from its eyes. Rayne immediately recognized the one standing, as did Morrigan.

“There he is!” Morrigan exclaimed, her speed increasing to get to her son.

Rayne frowned at the second figure. It was also familiar. But who…

“Who is with him?” Alec asked.

Morrigan slowed. “That’s… no. It can’t be.”

As they got closer, Rayne finally saw what Morrigan did.

It was an elderly woman with white hair styled back to look like horns and a metal face guard framing her face and bright yellow eyes. She wore maroon colored battle robes. It had been a decade since the last time Rayne had seen this woman, but she was hard to forget.

Keiran had been casting some kind of spell over the woman. Rayne was unsure what it was. But the moment he saw his mother he stopped and turned to her with a smile on his face. “Mother!”

Morrigan glowered at the woman who continued to kneel. “Mother.” Her voice laced with venom.

Flemeth.

Also known as _Asha’balannar_ to the Dalish; it meant ‘woman of many years’.  ‘Mother of Vengeance’ to the Chasind. A Witch of the Wilds. And Morrigan’s mother.

Rayne had the fortune – or misfortune, depending on how you looked at it – to meet Flemeth at the beginning of the Fifth Blight, her and Morrigan both. Indeed, she owed Flemeth her life… and Alistair’s. If it hadn’t been for the Witch shape-shifting into a dragon and saving the two Wardens from the Tower of Ishal, they would have died when Loghain had turned tail and left them all to their fate.

She still remembered looking out of the tall tower after lighting the signal, and seeing Loghain heading in the opposite direction of the battle below against the darkspawn. She remembered how the realization slowly came to her that he was retreating. And then the sound of breaking wood as the door crashed open, letting in a wave of darkspawn. She remembered the feeling of the arrows piercing her chest and abdomen, the pain jolting her when she fell to the floor, Alistair’s voice echoing in her ears and her life slowly bleeding out of her.

Only to wake up days later at Flemeth’s hut, bandaged and on the mend. It had been on Flemeth’s insistence that Morrigan join Rayne and Alistair in their fight against the darkspawn.

But the last time she had seen the swamp witch was when Rayne tried to kill her. And she thought she had. Until she met Vector, and he told a story of a witch that could turn into a dragon and how she saved him and his family. In return, he was to deliver a necklace to a Dalish clan outside of Kirkwall. And that was how Flemeth had evaded death.

**What is it about this family that they don’t want to stay dead?** Rayne thought lightly. At least with Morrigan she no longer wished her death.

“Now, isn’t this a surprise?” Flemeth said rising, an amused smile on her face.

Alec looked between Morrigan and Rayne. “Clearly not the good sort of surprise.”

Flemeth’s smile widened slightly. “My lovely Morrigan has a flair for the dramatic.” She nodded to Keiran, “Thankfully, my grandson is more sensible.”

Morrigan’s anger intensified. “Keiran is _not_ your grandson. Let him go!”

“As if I were holding the boy hostage.” Flemeth shook her head, her attention turned to Alec. “She’s always been ungrateful, you see.”

Rayne raised an eyebrow at that.

If Morrigan could spontaneously combust, Rayne thought she just might. “Ungrateful! I know how you plan to extend your life, wicked crone! You will not have me, and you will not have my son!”

She didn’t hesitate any longer, Morrigan began casting a spell.

Flemeth sighed in exasperation and focused again on Alec, “Be a good lad and restrain her.” Her eyes glowed sliver with power and cast her own spell.

“Because he’s just going to—“ Rayne started and was cut off.

Alec lit up with power and he lunged forward and grabbed Morrigan, pushing her back away.

“What are you doing?” Morrigan demanded her eyes wide with anger. “What… are you doing?”

Alec shook his head. “I… I don’t know!”

Rayne’s focus went to Flemeth. “What did you do to him?”

Flemeth looked at her finally. “Ah, the Hero of Ferelden. Look how far you have come since the Kocari Wilds. No longer the child Warden, who was so reluctant to go fight a war.”

“I asked you a question,” Rayne demanded. “What did you do to him?”

Flemeth’s eyes glinted in amusement and then turned back to Alec. “He should know. He drank from The Well, did he not?”

“The… Well of Sorrows?” Rayne asked. It made no sense, why would that… And then it clicked.

And apparently did for Morrigan too. “You… are Mythal.” She said with doubt.

Alec’s mouth hung open as he processed this news. Finally he shook his head and said, “You are? It’s very nice to finally meet you.”

Rayne almost wanted to smack her hand on her forehead. It was something she or Vector would have said, and something the diplomatic Alec Trevelyan would have avoided once upon a time.

And typical Flemeth, who loved that type of personality, smiled with delight. “You see, girl?” She said to Morrigan. “ _Those_ are manners, as you require a demonstration.”

“I require nothing from you but your death!” Morrigan spat.

Flemeth chuckled and nodded to Rayne “You tried that once already, and see how far it got you?” She nudged Keiran forward to send him into his mother’s awaiting arms.

It was true. The whole reason Rayne had even gone to kill Flemeth was because Morrigan had asked her to. Morrigan had originally thought Flemeth was going to eventually kill her to take her power. But, as they learned after, Flemeth had something more insidious planned.

Keiran released his hold on his mother, a chagrined looked on his face. “I’m sorry, mother. I heard her calling to me. She said now was the time.”

Rayne immediately went on edge and she glared at Flemeth, whom was watching her with a smile that Rayne wanted to smack off her face.

Morrigan shook her head in confusion. “I do not understand.”

Keiran went back to Flemeth’s side, a look of sadness on his face. Rayne didn’t know what was happening, but it was nothing good.

“Once I was but a woman,” Flemeth began. “Crying out in the lonely darkness for justice. And she came to me, a wisp of an ancient being, and she granted me all I wanted and more. I have carried Mythal through the ages ever since, seeking the justice denied to her.”

Rayne remembered Alec and Morrigan revealing that they learned from Abelas – one of the ancient elves from the Temple of Mythal – that Mythal had been murdered, not locked away like Dalish history said. And it hadn’t been at the hands of Fen’harel, the one known as ‘the trickster’ that had supposedly locked away the Creators and the Forgotten Ones. But Abelas did say who had actually killed her.

“Then…” Rayne said, processing all this. “You carry Mythal inside you?”

“She is a part of me, no more separate than your heart from your chest.” Flemeth looked at Alec. “What do the voices tell you?”

Rayne watched as Alec went very still and closed his eyes as he listened to the voices of The Well in his head.

His eyes snapped open. “They say you speak the truth.”

“And that’s how you made him stop Morrigan from attacking you.” Rayne said. “You control Mythal, and Mythal controls any that had contact with The Well.”

Flemeth smirked. “But what _was_ Mythal? A legend given name and called a god, or something more? Truth is not the end, but a beginning.”

“Maker’s Breath.” Rayne said in exasperation and crossed her arms. “You always did like to hear yourself talk.”

Flemeth ignored her and focused on Alec. “A Herald, indeed. Shouting to the heavens, harbinger of a new age. As for me, I have had many names. But you… may call me Flemeth.”

Surprise came to Alec’s face and recognition. “If Mythal is within you, why not reveal yourself?”

Flemeth smirked. “And to whom should I reveal myself?”

Alec shrugged. “To the elves? To everyone?”

Flemeth laughed. “I knew the hearts of men even before Mythal came to me. It is _why_ she came to me. They do not _want_ the truth, and I… I am but a shadow, lingering in the sun.”

**Ugh, her blighted metaphors.** Rayne thought to herself. But she did have to admit, Flemeth was right. Most people don’t want the truth, they want _their_ truth; their story.

“Why did Mythal come to you?” Alec asked.

“For a reckoning that will shake the very heavens.”

Morrigan sneered. “And you follow her whims? Do you even know what she truly is?”

A valid question. Rayne had never believed that the elven gods were actual Gods. But something else. It was one of the few things that she and Solas had agreed on and spoke about at length, before things got shaky between them.

“You seek to preserve the powers that were, but to what end?” Flemeth asked her daughter in return. “It is because I taught you, girl, because things happened that were never meant to happen. She was betrayed as I was betrayed – as the world was betrayed!”

Rayne frowned at that, but didn’t say anything.

Anger lit up Flemeth’s eyes. “Mythal clawed and crawled her way through the ages to me, and I will see her avenged!” Just as quickly as the anger came, it bled out of her. Making her looked almost tired. “Alas, so long as the music plays, we dance.”

Alec seemed to mull everything over and then finally said, “I presume you know what we’re up against.”

“Better than you could possibly imagine.” Flemeth replied almost sadly.

That immediately caught Rayne’s interest. What did Flemeth mean by that exactly?

“So will you help us?” Alec asked.

“Once I have what I came for.”

Rayne narrowed her eyes. “And something tells me, this time it isn’t Morrigan.”

The confusion that was on Morrigan’s face evaporated immediately at that, replaced by rage and the instinct to protect her son. “No. I will not allow it.”

“He carries a great power within him.” Flemeth’s eyes went to Rayne. “Perhaps not the power I hoped for…”

“It must have irked you when you lost that tether to him.” Rayne said.

Alec looked between the two mages. “What are you talking about?”

Rayne was going over different plans in her head, but she replied. “The cure I was seeking, for Aiden, for the Old God soul. I wanted it so she couldn’t find him. The moment Aiden talked about a woman in his dreams telling him strange things… I initially thought it was Morrigan.”

“Which is why you tried killing me.” There was no malice in her voice. Morrigan now understood that desire to protect her child; she did not fault Rayne for trying to protect Aiden.

Flemeth shrugged. “It matters not, anymore.” She looked down at Keiran with an almost motherly smile. “My grandson will help me.”

“He is not your pawn, Mother.” Morrigan snapped. “I will not let you used him!”

“Have _you_ not used him?” Flemeth asked. “His creation may have been an accident, but you were more than prepared to use him.”

“That was then. Now he… he is my _son._ ”

Flemeth’s smile faded to a look of surprise and thoughtfulness.

Morrigan finally noted Alec’s confused face and explained. “Flemeth extends her life by possessing the bodies of her daughters, Inquisitor. That was the fate she intended for me. I thwarted her with the help of the Warden. And now she intends to have Keiran instead!”

“If Keiran is so special,” Alec asked. “Why did you wait until now to come for him?”

“I did not know where he was. Morrigan cleverly hid him from me… until now.”

Realization came to Morrigan’s face and she gasped. “’Twas the Well…”

Flemeth’s amused smile came back. “Be thankful _you_ did not drink. Imagine, bound to your dear mother for eternity.” She laughed.

Considering their relationship, no doubt that would have been a horrible fate for Morrigan.

Alec shook his head and took a step towards Flemeth. “Whatever else you think he is, Keiran is still a child!”

“And so much better behaved than his mother was at his age.”

Keiran smiled shyly at the compliment.

Blood seemed to drain from Morrigan’s face and she collapsed to her knees. No doubt thinking what Rayne was: there was no way to take Keiran away from Flemeth. Not without the risk of hurting him or fighting Alec under Flemeth’s control. “Keiran, I…”

Keiran’s face was so pained. He did not want to leave his mother, but for whatever reason, he thought he had to. Maybe he thought he was protecting her. He turned to Flemeth, a silent plea in his eyes.

Flemeth smiled. “As you wish.” She said as if the two of them had a silent conversation. She turned her attention to her daughter. “Hear my proposal, dear girl.”

Morrigan rose, an almost hopeful look on her face.

“Let me take the lad, and you are free of me forever. I will never interfere with or harm you again. Or, keep the lad with you… and you will never be safe from me. I will have my due.”

Morrigan didn’t even hesitate. “He returns with me.”

“Decided so quickly?”

Morrigan took a step forward, a challenge to her mother. “Do whatever you wish. Take over my body now, if you must, but Keiran will be free of your clutches. I am many things, but I will not be the mother you were to me.”

Even Rayne had to wince slightly at that, but she held her tongue, noting the hurt look on Flemeth’s own face.

After a moment, Flemeth turned to Keiran. No doubt she was debating whether to actually give up her prize.

Finally she took his hands, and again, it seemed some silent message passed between them. Keiran smiled and went to Morrigan.

“A soul is not forced upon the unwilling, Morrigan.” Flemeth said, her voice almost sad. “You were never in danger from me.”

Rayne was surprised that she admitted that. But it made sense. It’s why demons sought out weak mages that they could manipulate, get them to say yes to possession. It made sense that it was the same for a human spirit.

Flemeth turned to Alec. “As for you, Inquisitor, there is an ancient altar deep within a shaded wood. Go to it. Summon the dragon that is its guardian. Master it in combat, and it is yours to command against Corypheus.” She turned away. “Fail, and die.”

With that she walked away, no doubt back to whatever she used to get to the Fade herself.

Morrigan frowned and called out, “Wait!”

But Flemeth didn’t turn back. She kept going and then she was gone to another part of the Fade.

* * *

 

Alec didn’t make the trip out to the shrine until the next week. Mostly at the insistence of his council and Dorian. He needed to rest after everything that took place in the Arbor Wilds, at the rate he was trying to go he was going to burn himself out and be no good to anyone. Plus, Leliana wanted the mages of the inner circle to perform some tests, to find out more about the potential repercussions of The Well… and Flemeth.

But after a week of rest, tests and trying to wait for the majority of the Inquisition forces – that still hadn’t returned from the Arbor Wilds – Alec was ready to go. He wanted this done, another step closer to ending all of this. One step closer to his fight with Corypheus.

Rayne didn’t blame him. After nearly three years of endless fighting, they were all ready. They all felt the end coming. She remembered that feeling well from the Blight, as they finally built their army and the confrontation with the archdemon loomed overhead. The feeling of apprehension, yet excitement; the feeling that any day could be your last and you’re not sure you want to go forward, but know you have to. Because if you don’t, you know it would mean the end of everything.

Back then, Rayne didn’t have a lot that she was personally fighting for. There was Alistair, sure, and her group of friends that all got pushed together over that year. She mostly fought for the greater good. Not like now.

With everything coming to a head she spent less time on actual work, unless it was absolutely demanding, and spent more time with Davia and worried over Aiden in Denerim; even though she received regular letters from him saying he was fine, unless you counted the political lessons.

Rayne laid on her side on the floor watching Davia play with her painted blocks, stacking them up until she made them all crash down, sending her into a fit of giggles.

She smiled at her daughter, “You’re going to be a pro at sieges someday.” She joked.

Davia stacked up the blocks again then slammed her hand into them, “BOOM!” Followed by laughter.

“There’s a sound that is definitely needed.”

Rayne looked up to Cullen entering the room, his face was worn and dark circles under his eyes, a tired smile on his face as he looked down at his wife and daughter.

“You look like you’ve had a rough day.” She said sitting up. “And it’s early for you.”

Cullen nodded heavily and went to her. He kissed her on the forehead and then went to Davia and did the same before going to the bed and falling heavily onto it. He sighed and rubbed a hand roughly down his face.

“I take it the session with Samson didn’t go well.”

Alec had passed judgement on Samson the day after their arrival. He sentenced the former Templar to serve the Inquisition for the remainder of his days - however long that was considering the Red Lyrium was starting to take its toll on him without his armor - by providing whatever information Cullen required. Rayne knew having to work with Samson was rough on him, for multiple reasons, but he did get useful information that aided them.

“It had its moments.” He said wearily. “Today was… especially difficult.”

Rayne finally crawled across the floor until she was at his feet and began pulling at the laces of his boots. “It was the withdrawal, wasn’t it?”

“It was. And Samson noticed it too.” He watched her a few moments, “You don’t have to do that.”

“No, but I want to.” She looked up at him and smirked. “At least you have learned to not push yourself too far.”

Cullen chuckled. “It’s only taken me a few years.”

“Better late than never, right?” She said in amusement as she pulled off his boot with a soft grunt and started work on the other.

He shook his head and turned his attention to where Davia sat, a soft smile coming to his face as he watched.

“I love that look.” Rayne said.

“Hmm?” He looked down at her in confusion. “What look?”

“You.” She smiled. “The softness when you watch her.” She pulled off his boot and then stood and sat next to him. She gently traced the edges and contours of his face with her fingertips, making him close his eyes as she did so. “It’s always so hard, sharp edges, determined. Trying to put on a brave face for the men under your command, or trying not to show the pain. But in these moments…”

Cullen took her hand that was tracing his face gently and brought it to his lips and kissed each fingertip. He finally opened his eyes and pools of molten gold looked back at her. They were warm and loving; Rayne would never get over how his eyes looked when he looked at her. The way he actually _saw_ her, it could still make her stomach flutter like a tender hearted girl.

“You both have that effect on me.”

They sat there for a time, just staring into each other’s eyes and holding one another’s hand. Until Rayne felt a tug on her pant leg.

She looked down and chuckled as Davia pulled herself up and walked to her father.

Cullen’s smile bloomed into fatherly pride and he picked her up. “Ah, Butterfly. Feeling left out?”

“She’s such a Daddy’s Girl.” Rayne teased.

“I can live with that.” He sat his daughter in his lap and kissed the side of her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know in game that a non-Old God baby Keiran has no interaction with Flemeth in the Fade, but I wanted the interaction with Flemeth with Rayne there.


	136. Amell/Cullen

For the next week, while Alec and his group ventured south into the wilds, seeking out what-ever Flemeth sent him to find, life at Skyhold was actually quiet. Even more so than usual due to the lack of military presence since most the forces were still scattered. Either they were stationed in the Arbor Wilds finishing clean up on Corypheus’ people or helping to investigate the ancient temple, or trying to make the journey to Skyhold – armies did not move quickly especially through jungles.

And then something completely unexpected happened that broke the silence.

Rayne was in the garden – which had finally begun to bloom – with Davia. Cullen was taking a break, playing chess with Dorian, whom had been left behind when Alec left. The only noise came from Davia as she crawled across the ground trying to chase butterflies that flitted around, and the quiet chatter of those working on cultivating the herbs.

All the peacefulness was shattered when the sound of a savage roar filled the valley. Everyone froze, their eyes instantly went to the sky searching for the cause.

“Was that…” Rayne said in surprise as another roar echoed around them.

“A dragon.” Cullen finished and stood, his eyes never leaving the heavens.

“This close to Skyhold?” Dorian questioned. “Do you think the dragons congregated and finally decided to go on the offensive and attack Alec directly? You know, for all the dragon slaying we’ve done over the years?”

Rayne frowned and finally looked down. “Be serious, Dorian.” She swooped up Davia and went to Cullen’s side. “Any idea where it’s coming from?”

He shook his head. “The valley makes it sound like it’s coming from everywhere.”

“Any thoughts?”

His face hardened and he turned his attention down to her. “We need to search for it.”

“Is that wise? We’re missing most of our forces, and Alec, Solas, Bull and Cole are gone. Do we want to provoke it?” She paused. “It could be Corypheus’ dragon.”

That made him hesitate briefly. “I’m not talking hunting it down and trying to kill it. But we should know where it is, to try and avoid it at the very least.”

“Fair enough.” Rayne conceded.

“I’ll go speak to Leliana about sending her most stealthy scouts to look.” His face softened. “In the meantime, I would prefer it if you and Vi stayed inside.”

She gave him a humorless smile. “Cullen, if the dragon really wanted to attack us here, not even the walls of Skyhold could protect us.”

* * *

 

“Well, for what it’s worth I’m glad you _didn’t_ go on a hunt for it.” Alec said in mild amusement.

Leliana sighed. “What did you expect us to do? How were we supposed to know you tamed a dragon?”

“Y’know, Alec.” Rayne said lightly. “If you wanted a pet that badly, we could have gotten you a dog.”

Alec chuckled. “Bull is pleased with it.”

“Oh, I bet.” She said with amusement.

Cullen drummed his fingers on the hilt of the blade at his side. “So, we have a dragon to combat Corypheus’.” He looked up at Alec. “You should rest, Inquisitor. And then we will discuss a plan of attack.”

Alec nodded. “Thank you.” He turned to Rayne. “Walk with me?”

She tilted her head in question but followed him out. He didn’t speak again until they were in the main hall.

“Do you think we have a chance?” He asked softly, trying not to be heard by the visiting nobles.

“I’ve faced worse odds.” She said, trying to sound optimistic. “And this time we have an advantage. I like our chances. If all goes well… this will be over soon.”

Alec looked down and a small smile came to his lips. “You think so?”

Rayne studied him. “Of course.”

“You really think I’ll ever be done being ‘The Inquisitor’?” He sounded so tired and almost sad.

She brushed his arm gently. “Hey.”

He turned to her, his eyes looked murky and had dark circles around them. Seeing him like this, it broke her heart. And it looked familiar. They never asked for the job to be heroes. They never asked to have all the weight of the world on their shoulders. But they did it, because no one else would or could, or they were pushed into it.

“One way or another,” She said sternly. “You will.”

Alec’s face softened and he smiled. “I almost believe you.” He sighed and looked around. His eyes narrowed in thought when something caught his attention.

Rayne followed his gaze to Solas whom was just turning into the rotunda. “Everything okay?” She asked.

“Yeah…” Alec said sounding slightly confused. “It’s just… I don’t know.”

She turned fully to him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is really wrong, per-se.” He turned to her after Solas went out of line of sight. “It’s like… an itch in the back of my head. Like the voices trying to say something maybe?” He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“About Solas?”

“I…” He frowned in thought. “Maybe?” He sighed heavily. “Maybe I’m just tired.”

Rayne chuckled. “Maybe.” She said it, but she didn’t believe it. She remembered how Falon acted when Solas was around, and now she thought this feeling – whatever it was – that Alec was having, was connected. “Go on. You need sleep.”

Alec nodded and walked away, waving his hand as he did.

Rayne watched him go, but her mind was somewhere else. She thought about Falon and the voices within The Well that seemed to be agitated whenever around Solas. And the voices were connected to ancient elves and more importantly Mythal.

“Falon…” She whispered. “Could you be…” She couldn’t complete the thought. But it did seem possible…

* * *

* * *

 

“The all that remains is to find Corypheus before he comes to us.” Cullen said to those gathered, which consisted of himself, Leliana, Josephine, Alec and Morrigan.

Rayne was with Davia in their room. Lately she spent as much time with their daughter as she could, ignoring letters and other work she usually had. She spent all that time as if an end was coming, an end that wasn’t Corypheus’. Cullen brought that up to her the night before this meeting, her only comment:

“You know as well as I do, war is messy. And nothing is ever guaranteed.”

Words that echoed in his head, even now.

“We’ve been looking for his base since all this began, with no success.” Leliana said, her voice bringing him back to the present.

“His dragon must come and go from _somewhere._ ” He said. It was both a blessing and a curse that the dragon that they heard before Alec’s return was not Corypheus’. A blessing because it meant they didn’t have to potentially fight the false archdemon without the Inquisitor. A curse because they still didn’t know where it actually was.

“What about the Deep Roads?” Josephine offered. “We could send word to Orzammar, hire envoys to—“

The sound of Alec hissing in pain and the flaring of his Mark cut off their Ambassador.

Before any of them could begin to question the cause, the entire room light up. The color green.

They all slowly turned to the windows behind them.

Cullen gaped as the sky lit up bright green. A chill went down his spine when the Breach – the very same one Alec closed before – split the heavens above them. It swirled above them in black and green, churning like the ocean during the storm – angry and violent. Looking worse than it did the first time.

Some instinct inside of him wanted to run to Rayne and Vi, but another voice kept him from doing just that.

“Corypheus.” Alec said with anger.

“ _He_ did that?” Leliana said in disbelief. “But why?”

“Either I close the Breach again, or it swallows the world.” He explained.

“But that’s madness!” Josephine exclaimed. “Wouldn’t it kill him as well?”

Cullen shook himself and finally turned back to the others. He was the Commander, there had to be something to do. The soldiers, they could…

He abruptly stopped that thought and remembered. “Inquisitor, we have no forces to send with you.” His voice was heavy. “We must wait for them to return from the Arbor Wilds.”

Alec looked at his hand, “Just as Corypheus expects, I suppose.” He looked back up and out the window.

The Inquisitor nodded to them all and spun around and out of the room to go arm himself and gather his companions.

“Leliana, I…” Cullen started.

“Go, Commander.” She said, knowing what he wanted.

He nodded his thanks and rushed out of the room and to his.

He found Rayne standing at the bay window, it wide open, with Vi held closely to her chest. Cullen came up behind her, gently grabbing her shoulders. Together they watched the churning heavens and the impending doom.

For some reason that thought brought forth a verse from the Chant of Light. The very same one about Corypheus and his fellow Magisters.

_And so the Golden City blackened_  
_With each step you take in my Hall._  
 _Marvel at perfection, for it is fleeting._  
 _You have brought Sin to Heaven_  
 _And doom upon all the world._


	137. Trevelyan/Amell

“What do you mean you don’t want me to go with you?” Dorian asked, annoyance heavy on his voice.

Alec couldn’t look up at his lover, so he continued lacing his boots. He didn’t know how much time they had. “I mean just that, Dorian. I want you to stay here.”

“Because if you fail the walls of Skyhold will protect me?” Dorian scoffed.

He sighed heavily and finally stood, now completely armored and armed save his staff that was by the door. “Dorian, I’ve made my choice.”

Dorian’s eyes lit up in anger.

Before his lover could start to yell, Alec grabbed him by the shoulders. “Don’t you get it Dorian? I want you _safe!”_

“I’m as safe with you as I am here, _Amatus._ And your chances of survival are far better with me _there_.” Some of his usual bravado coming out.

Alec ran his fingers through his hair in frustration and spun around, not wanting Dorian to see his fear. “Dorian,” he couldn’t keep his voice from cracking. “We are at the end game. If all goes right…”

“Which is precisely why I should go.” Dorian cut off.

He couldn’t take it anymore. He spun and grabbed Dorian again, but this time he pulled the other mage to him and kissed him.

Alec held onto him like a man on the verge of drowning and Dorian was his only life-line. He savored the feeling of Dorian’s lips, how soft they were and tasted of wine. The feeling of his ridiculous mustache that he couldn’t help but love tickling his nose.

Alec wanted to remember this.

He finally parted their lips, but kept their faces close. _“Ma choi,_ ” He whispered. “I couldn’t bear it if something were to happen to you. We’re at the end game, and I want someone to come back to.”

Dorian’s face remained hard, but then softened. “Ah, _Amatus.”_

“Give me something to fight to come back to. Please.”

Dorian’s eyes looked so pained and full of fear that Alec nearly buckled and told him to come with him, but he held his ground. He wanted Dorian out of harm’s way.

Finally the Tevinter sighed in defeat. “I will on one condition.”

Alec tilted his head. “And what’s that?”

Dorian cupped his face. “You come back to me, _Amatus._ Don’t leave me alone now that I’ve gotten used to having you around.”

Alec gave him a soft smile. “I’m coming back, _ma choi._ I swear it.”

* * *

 

They were barely able to stay on their feet as the world around them flew into the sky. Alec turned and was relieved to still see Blackwall, Cole and Solas with him, everyone else must have either been too far away when they were lifted away or fell. He prayed to the Maker that any that had possibly fallen had done so before they were too far up.

“You have been most successful in foiling my plans,” Corypheus mocked, regaining Alec’s attention. “But let us not forget what you are. A thief, in the wrong place and the wrong time. An interloper. A gnat.”

Alec frowned but remained silent. If there was one thing that he learned about this ancient darkspawn is that he liked to hear himself talk. And for every moment Corypheus talked gave Alec the time to take in his situation and surroundings. And to get his secret weapon ready.

“We shall prove here, once and for all, which of us is worthy of godhood.”

Alec scoffed. “I didn’t come here to become a god, Corypheus.”

Corypheus glared at him and Alec held his gaze.

At least until that corrupted dragon posing as an archdemon climbed over the castle ruins and locked its white gaze on him and his companions. And then it lunged…

Panic briefly gripped his heart as the dragon almost fell down on him. But just as he thought he was about to die, breaking his promise to Dorian, his own green dragon barreled into corrupted black one.

The impact of the two was almost deafening and Alec was forced to ground or risk getting hit as they somersaulted through the air.

The amount of anger and hate on Corypheus’ face sent a shiver down Alec’s spine, but he kept fear from his face. Alec knew he could no longer even try to track the two dragons, his main focus was the darkspawn.

“You dare!” Corypheus growled.

Alec sent a silent message to Dorian, conveying all his love. He just hoped that Dorian heard it… or felt it.

* * *

 

His body shook with fatigue and pain, but somehow he managed to dredge up enough energy to rise.

“Not like this!” Corypheus roared in rage. “I have walked the halls of the Golden City, crossed the ages…”

Alec grit his teeth. “Alright, I’ve had _enough_.” He didn’t know where his companions were, all that mattered to him was ending this so he could get back to Skyhold. Back to the man he loved.

Corypheus seemed to be struggling with the orb, the magic pulsing and erratic.

The Mark on Alec’s hand flared and an idea came to him. The Mark was a part of the orb. It’s _gift._ Maybe…

He rose to his feet, his moves sluggish and his body felt heavy. But he pushed himself forward toward his target. He reached his hand out and felt the familiar pull that usually came when he was closing a rift. But this time he focused that power on the Orb.

Corypheus was unaware of what his adversary was doing. “Dumat! Ancient Ones! I beseech you! If you exist – if you ever truly existed,” he turned his gaze full of hate on Alec. “Aid me now!”

Gritting his teeth, Alec pulled back and took the Orb with him. He winced slightly from the sound of Corypheus’ jaw crushing as the Orb hit it as it came to Alec’s hand in a violent way.

Alec slowly walked forward, asserting his will over the Orb to control it. Corypheus fell to his knees trying in vain to reach forward for his prized Orb, his jaw loosely hanging on.

As soon as the Orb stopped pulsing with Corypheus’ red energy and turned green he thrust the Orb toward the heavens and directed its magic to the center of the Breach. He remembered how he did it the first time. Back then he didn’t have the orb, the central power source of the Breach, he only had his fellow mages to pull energy from. This time it was much easier to grab ahold of the Breach and hold onto it.

But even with the Orb’s help, the Breach was massive. It was a struggle as he pulled; he felt the feeling of it slowly closing.

He yelled as he pulled and pulled until finally…

* * *

* * *

 

Cullen’s hands never left her, and she was silently grateful for that. Davia had fallen asleep in her arms, but she still held onto her. Having them both was comforting.

It had been quite some time since they saw either dragon in the sky. They could only assume that they were both now dead. They prayed that was the case at least. Considering that the world wasn’t ending – yet – they figured Alec was still alive and fighting.

Rayne felt like she had barely breathed that entire time.

And then a beam of green light penetrated the sky at the top of the ruins in the sky.

“Alec.” Rayne breathed out. It had to be.

The Breach pulsed with energy. The whole sky filled with green light and then black, and then back to green.

Rayne took an involuntary step backwards, covering Davia as if to protect her and Cullen tightened his hold on her.

The green became less and less, and then Breach began to shrink. Until there was nothing left but the night sky and residual green magic that would eventually dissipate.

“He did it.” Cullen sighed out, his relief was palpable.

“He did it.” She repeated and leaned back into him. His arms circled her waist and she felt his lips on the side of her neck. “He did it.”

* * *

* * *

 

He watched with a certain satisfaction as the rift opened up _inside_ of Corypheus, ripping and sucking him into the Fade. Well, what was left of him anyway.

Alec’s satisfaction was short lived as rock began to fall around him and he felt gravity take hold of the island he was on. Without Corypheus to hold it up, the island was falling back to the earth. And then he heard the cracking of stone.

He looked up and saw the towers around him start to tilt. “Oh, Maker.”

He didn’t wait.

He ran as fast as he could away from the ruins. **I’m not going to die _now_ to falling rubble!** He yelled to himself as he ran. He felt his stomach rise to his throat as everything plummeted.

 

Alec didn’t think he had been out long. But his lungs began to work again, only to start coughing uncontrollably from inhaling clouds of dust that filled the air around him. He managed to roll to his stomach and get onto his knees.

He looked around, everything was in a haze of dust, but he saw the rubble of the ruins around him. He winced as he saw a rather large piece only a few feet from where his head had just been. He briefly thanked his blind luck.

The dust began to settle and he made out a figure moving through the debris.

“Solas.” Alec croaked out, his throat coated in dust didn’t allow for much else. He grabbed his water skin and took a long pull and sloshed the water and gurgled before spitting it out. And then drank as much as he could.

Once he had his fill and cleared his throat he finally rose, stumbling as he did. But he finally managed to get his bearings and walk to Solas who had bent and picked up what was left of a broken Orb. It must have shattered during the fall.

Alec got closer, studying Solas’ distraught face. “Solas?”

“The Orb.” Was the elf’s only response.

Alec frowned. “Corypheus is dead. That’s the important thing.” **Plus, now with that damnable orb gone means a less likely chance of something like this happening again.** He thought to himself.

“Yet so much has been lost.” Solas said his voice sad, he gently put the fragment he had in his hands back on the ground with the other pieces.

Alec didn’t even try saying anything. Typical Solas, more concerned with some ancient elven artifact than what was currently happening.

Solas rose and fixated his blue gaze on Alec.

“There’s more, isn’t there?” He said, trying hard not to sound accusing.

Solas’ face fell. “It was not supposed to happen this way.” He looked away, as if he couldn’t look at Alec. “No matter what comes, I want you to know you shall always have my respect.”

Alec frowned at that. He had known Solas wasn’t staying, and he wasn’t going to stop the elf. But what was he talking about? **_‘No matter what comes’?_** The familiar tickle in the back of his mind scratched away, as if he was on the verge of learning something big but he couldn’t quite grasp it. Whether it was something he knew himself or something from The Well.

“Inquisitor!” Cassandra’s voice called out. “Are you alive?”

Alec exhaled in relief in hearing her voice, he had been so worried about his companions. He briefly forgot Solas and followed the direction the voice came from.

He made it to the edge of the island that had once been in the sky and looked down. And there they all were. Cassandra, Vivienne, The Iron Bull, Varric, Sera, Cole and Blackwall. His body sagged in relief, he hadn’t realized until that moment that his friends had been in the back of his mind the entire time, even during the fighting. He studied each and every one of them, they looked a little bruised and dirty but they were alright.

 **My friends.** He thought to himself and then chuckled. **No, my family.** That’s what they were to him now. Even if he didn’t see eye-to-eye with some of them, he wouldn’t trade them for anything.

He looked around until he found the broken staircase and went down to them all.

“Then it’s over?” Vivienne asked. “How lovely.” She said in a sarcastic tone. But Alec knew better, she was giddy on the inside.

“And the sky is healed, healthy… whole.” Cole said in happiness, staring at the heavens. “There’s just that left to remember.”

Alec smiled. “Looks that way.”

“What do we do now?” Cassandra asked.

He didn’t answer right away. He turned and looked back up the stairs, but there was no sign of Solas. Uneasiness formed in his gut, but he pushed the feeling aside. A problem for another day. Right now there was something more important for him to think about.

He turned back to his companions, “We go back to Skyhold.”

* * *

* * *

 

She left the party early. She highly doubted anyone would notice, which was all the better for her. Her main reason for even be there was to make sure Alec and the others were okay. They were all confused by Solas’ abrupt departure, but wasn’t really surprised either.

Alec had quietly told Rayne of Solas’ final words to him. And she was just as apprehensive as he was. They didn’t have much time to discuss it, since they were interrupted by Dorian’s arrival, and Rayne gracefully fell away from their reunion.

Now she was in her room, standing at the doorway to Davia’s nursery, simply watching her daughter sleeping. It had been an exciting last two days for everyone, including Vi so she fell asleep early. Giving Rayne the perfect excuse to leave the main hall.

“Rayne?” Cullen whispered behind her.

She turned to her husband, he wore his casual clothing and went without his sword for the party. She closed the door to the nursery and went to him.

Cullen took her hand into his and pulled her gently to him so he could wrap his arms around her. Surrounding her in comfort and love. Rayne laid her head on his chest and listened to the sound of his heartbeat, the soft rhythm that reminded her that they were all still alive. And would be for many years to come.

“So,” he finally said. “What do you think will happen next?”

Rayne smiled and pulled away from him. She brushed her fingers against his freshly shaved cheek before turning away from him. His hands lingered as long as possible on her hip as she pulled away and walked to the balcony.

She leaned against the railing, strands of hair danced in front of her face from the gentle breeze. She closed her eyes against the warmth of the setting sun and breathed in the crisp scent of the mountain air.

Cullen’s hands slid around her middle, his body pressed tightly against hers and he nestled his face in the nook of her neck.

“It will be interesting to see.” Rayne said opening her eyes again and covered his hands with hers.

He chuckled, tickling her neck in the process.

Rayne didn’t know what would come. But, as she had said, it _would_ be interesting. And she will gladly face whatever was to come with her family.

A family she never dreamed she would have…

 


	138. The End & Thanks

Thank you to all my loyal readers! Your comments, kudos, love and support for this story have meant the world to me. Your support helped keep me going when I thought I would falter.

After a year of various illnesses that have kept me from writing, I've decided that this is where I will end  _The Lion and The Wolf._ It wasn't the ending I was hoping for, but alas, I can't see myself getting back to writing for this story at any point in the near future. You all have been so patient with me already, and I appreciate it more than you can know.

Even though  _The Lion and The Wolf_ is finished here. I continue working on Rayne and Cullen’s story on my blog: http://dracoangel.tumblr.com/  
There you can still find fanfic prompts, fan art and any story developments for them; such as meeting their son, Ned.

I hope to see you all there or in any future endeavors.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://imgur.com/GvMOmY3)  
> 
> 
> art by [chenria](http://chenria.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Cullen, Rayne, Aiden, Davia and baby Ned


End file.
